Nullified
by kremesch
Summary: Tseng- Sephiroth POV  Yaoi . Sequel/Prequel to Void. In the strange world of FFVII, the past and present merge. Life continues to twist itself around the mistakes of the past after an unexpected discovery is made in the Northern Continent-More inside.
1. Prologue

****Prequel/Sequel to Void 1  
><strong>**

**Summary: **In the strange world of the FFVII characters, the past and present merge. Life continues to twist itself around the mistakes of the past after an unexpected discovery is made in the Northern Continent and a story is told from beyond the grave. From the bittersweet form of nostalgia to the desire for freedom, hopes and dreams unwind through the trials and errors that can no longer be ignored.

**Characters:** are based on the FFVII Games (The Original FFVII, Dirge of Cerberus, and Crisis Core) in an attempt to bring them together and complete a story that I've been wanting to complete for some time.

**Headnote: **After a year of my own trials and tribulations, I've finally managed to put this idea together after several attempts that just didn't seem right. In the end, this appeared to be the only POV that worked for me and this will be the last Fanfic I'm planning on writing. Updates may not be as frequent as they've been for the stories I've written in the past due to the odd hours I now work, but I'm hoping the timeframe will remaiin reasonable enough to keep the momentum going.

Hopefully, this story will continue to entertain those that my others have entertained in the past, and as always, any feedback is appreciated.

**Disclaimer: **Square owns the characters and worlds and the opening excerpt is taken from Crisis Core/Loveless (word for word).

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess_

_We seek it thus, and take to the sky_

_Ripples form on the water's surface_

_The wandering soul knows no rest_

_My friend, do you fly away now?_

_To a world that abhors you and I?_

_All that awaits you is a sombre morrow_

_No matter where the winds may blow_

_Even if the morrow is barren of promises_

_Nothing shall forestall my return_

_ o  
><em>

_There is no hate, only joy_

_For you are beloved by the Goddess_

_Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds_

_My friend, the fates are cruel_

_There are no dreams, no honour remains_

_The arrow has left the bow of the Goddess_

_ o  
><em>

_My soul, corrupted by vengeance_

_Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey in my own salvation_

_And your eternal slumber_

_Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul_

_Pride is lost _

_Wings stripped away, the end is nigh_

_ o  
><em>

_My friend, your desire_

_Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess_

_Legend shall speak_

_Of sacrifice at world's end_

_ o  
><em>

_The wind sails over the water's surface_

_Quietly, but surely_

_ o  
><em>

_When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end_

_The Goddess descends from the sky_

_Wings of light and dark spread afar_

_She guides us to bliss,_

_Her gift everlasting_

_ o  
><em>

_…To become the dew that quenches the land,_

_To spare the sands, the seas, the skies_

_I offer thee, this silent sacrifice_

—Loveless

* * *

><p>Monsters…<p>

It was what we viewed ourselves as; what we thought we were to become, and maybe, it was what we always were.

Maybe it's why we were burdened with our fates as undesirable as they were, and maybe it was why Genesis turned to Loveless in order to seek answers hidden within its words. They were words that made no sense to us. Yet to Genesis, they meant everything.

He thought he found the answer in the lifestream—the water's surface—when a young soldier named Zack nearly defeated him. Somewhere along the lines, he even thought he found the Goddess and that he'd finally found his answer.

As with Loveless, fate was cruel. Zack, having been experimented on in the same manner as we were had a change of heart in the end and took pity on Genesis.

However, he had his own dilemma and left Genesis alone in a weakened state as he took the young infantryman—Cloud Strife—and walked away, leaving Genesis alone and vulnerable to the cruel fates he unknowingly prophesied, and he was taken when he had no more will to fight.

For years, Genesis' cells were grafted onto other beings in a private sector of Shinra, known only to the Elite as a group called Deepground. They were separate and unknown from the newer generation, be it Rufus, the Turks, or any other sector that the President deemed as unnecessary for such projects, and when a rebellion broke loose within the depths of a world no one was aware of, he was asked to join those that inevitably became a part of him.

Genesis declined, stating that he wanted nothing to do with it and locked himself in a flooded cavern where he was believed to have stayed until the 'time' came for him to follow in mine and Angeal's stead. All of this, of course, remained unknown to Rufus and the new breed of Turks.

The majority of those that knew of the experiments and Genesis' legacy were killed during my second coming when I returned to destroy the world.

During this time, Genesis began to degrade again and Tseng became the replacement for the texts of Loveless that Genesis had turned into Gospel. Something that was real and puzzling pulled Genesis from his chosen slumber and he emerged. In the middle of the night, he fled unnoticed, silently leaving the 'Underground' and the merciful silence that had become his solace.

With his summon Materia equipped, Genesis began his journey to find the same man that I found myself standing behind at the Temple of the Ancients.

Tseng had changed, a part of me thought. He no longer wore his hair in a ponytail and it had grown. He appeared older, more in stance than appearance, and he was reading the Ancient texts that were scribbled on a wall.

Part of me felt that he had to be destroyed.

_He'll stop us, _a voice said to me, _He's becoming more of a threat to us by the second_.

And we couldn't have that.

Yet another part of me yearned to touch him again. I wanted to run my fingers through that beautiful black hair of his and stare into those deep brown eyes again. I wanted to hear that voice of his, so soft and calming, and I listened as he chattered away to himself.

Then I remembered what he was, what I, Genesis, and Hojo had turned him into without ever meaning to, and that voice that was telling me to kill him suddenly struck home.

She was right. My mother—Jenova—was right. It didn't matter that her reasons differed from mine. My reason was not to simply destroy something so precious to me, but to protect him from what he'd inevitably find out about himself, be it through the reality of a nightmare or through other means.

He was a monster, like us yet different, and like us, he would have chosen to forsake his path. So I did the only humane thing that was left of me. I unsheathed my sword and stabbed him in the back, and like the monster that I was, I never honoured him with the truth that he deserved as to why.

Perhaps it was better that way—that he'd never know, or perhaps it simply fed the embittered state that I was in to see those questioning eyes regard me one last time with a spiralling depth of confusion.

_That's right, Tonberry,_ I thought as I watched him gasp and fall to his knees, _your 'lover' has become your destroyer._

If I were to have my way, he'd die quickly and never know the truth.

However, I was overconfident and I walked away without ensuring my desire to make it final, and he managed to crawl to the entrance which left me with a sense of doubt. He stubbornly kept himself alive long enough to warn Avalanche of my presence when they arrived and they coldly left him to die on his own after he fell to the floor.

_Foolish tonberry..._

Only one of them—an ex-Turk that joined Avalanche on their quest after they awoke him from a long slumber in the depths of the Shinra mansion—paused long enough to offer a brief and silent respect before he quietly followed the others while keeping his distance from them at the same time.

It was at that moment that I decided to follow them as well, leaving Tseng alone while on what I assumed was his last breath.

However, when the temple began to crumble, I returned to find him still breathing and I dragged him away. All I knew was that it didn't seem right somehow, and I pulled him to safety only to finish him off with one last pierce of my sword through the abdomen, twisting the blade to ensure that his end would come swiftly and surely this time.

Then I left and never looked back.

In hindsight, it was one of my many mistakes. Rufus had caught up to find Tseng staring lifelessly into the thick canopy of trees as the leaves rustled from a slight breeze above them. He wasn't prepared for what he was staring at.

Tseng had called him before the incident and Rufus told him he'd see him shortly, never expecting exactly how he'd be 'seeing' him, and he was devastated.

Genesis, on the other hand, finally came to believe that there was more to the reason he originally left his cavern. He was beholding an epitome of the path he was to take as he quietly stepped out from the shadows before making his presence known.

"I can help you," he told Rufus, ignoring the gun and recognising the sense of loss from the young President. He chose to utilize the opportunity while making it seem like there was more to his agenda rather than simple survival when he added, "For a price, of course," and a deal was made.

That was the second time Tseng had been experimented on in that manner, so Rufus believed.

* * *

><p>For years, Genesis watched over Tseng as per his agreement with Rufus. He used his Summon materia as a means to transfer the energy between him and Tseng. For Genesis, it was a temporary solution to what ailed them both, and he continued in secret to find something more permanent.<p>

However, when Tseng finally discovered a way to bring an ex-turk—Vincent Valentine—out of his shell, both Rufus' and Genesis' plans changed. As Tseng strayed farther away from them and closer to the truth, the situation escalated to a point that no one would have imagined.

Genesis finally made an appearance and dragged Vincent into the tangled web we'd weaved. Tseng finally found the facility where Rufus and Genesis had been experimenting on him with the help of incomplete records from Hojo, and he was finally faced with the truth that he didn't want to know.

It didn't end there though. There was a rebellion at the time and all parties wound up at the same facility as if they were drawn there, including the rest of the Turks that Tseng had grown close to over the years.

When Reno figured he'd sneak around to find a vantage point, he wound up finding something else that he wasn't expecting to find.

He found Rufus dragging Tseng down the hall towards one of the rooms, and he noticed that Tseng had been shot. When he followed and attempted to find out what was going on, he and Rufus wound up at a stand-off and both of their guns went off.

Rufus shot Reno in the chest above the heart, and Reno shot Rufus between the eyes. Speculation leads me to believe that Rufus didn't really want to fatally wound the redhead. However, Reno didn't seem to care about that after he felt he'd seen enough.

After that, Tseng stumbled towards Reno while covering his gut and dropped his ID and the keys to his home into the other man's hand.

"My mother..." he said, struggling as if he was out of breath while hanging onto the redhead's shoulder for support, "Don't tell her anything more... than she needs... to know..."

Reno dumbly nodded while staring into space and Tseng stumbled away and found his way outside as if he suddenly decided that he'd rather die alone where no one could find him.

It was what Tseng feared, dying. Unfortunately for him, there was something that he feared even more, and that was the fact that he was nothing less than what Genesis, Vincent, and I were—monsters.

During that time, Vincent was fighting his own battle with Genesis, or at the very least, he was trying to run away from him, and by the time he finally found Tseng, it was too late.

Tseng had given up and asked him not to help him, and Vincent, despite his inner struggles, decided to honour the man's wishes.

Only he couldn't leave him alone as Tseng requested. Instead, he stayed with him to the very end and lowered his head when Tseng tried to tell him that he loved him.

It didn't come out the way that he wanted it to though, before Tseng had the chance to utter Vincent's name one last time, he saw me through the bridge of life and death.

He saw me standing there, watching him; waiting, and he reached out to me as I stepped closer with the hope that I could finally touch him again, and he completely forgot what it was that he was trying to tell Vincent when he asked as if he didn't really believe that I was standing there, "Sephiroth…?"

However, to Vincent, it didn't sound like it was a question as much as it sounded like a statement, and I merely smiled at the irony.

_That's right, Tonberry… Fate is ours now._

* * *

><p>Be it irony or justice, destiny had other plans. Tseng's essence vanished before I had the chance to say anything to him. It was as if he simply never was and it took me some time to figure out why.<p>

As Vincent returned to Kalm to try and make sense out of his life, the members of Deepground emerged and started to wreak havoc and he wound up with another battle on his hands. In the end, he defeated them all with the help of his old friends from Avalanche and by merging with the powers of Chaos.

The battle wasn't completely won however. Weiss, 'the Immaculate', who was the leader of the Tsviets, spliced with Genesis' genes, and controlled by Hojo's will survived. He was the original instigator that persuaded the others to turn against Deepground and those known as the 'Restrictors', and he fell into Genesis' cave after he was defeated by Vincent.

By that time, Genesis had returned to his cavern in hopes that he could find a new way to rejuvenate his cells and inevitably fell asleep, only to be awakened by the sudden disruption caused by Weiss' fall.

When Genesis discovered him, he gathered him up and told him that, "We still have much work to do." Then he flew away with Weiss in tow.

That was almost six months ago.

Since then, Genesis convinced Weiss that Vincent—the man responsible for the death of his brother, Nero 'the Sable' who was also spliced with Genesis' genes—was still alive and that the merge Weiss and Nero attempted at the end wasn't complete.

"He murdered your brother," he convinced him, leaving it at that before he left the man to exact his vengeance on the ex-turk known as Vincent Valentine.

After that, he returned to the Northern Continent and found the last resting place of Tseng and was suddenly puzzled when he found the Turk's resting place had been recently disturbed and that Tseng was nowhere to be found.

For several days, he set out on a journey to find the man that he was inevitably tied to before he returned to the facility where he last saw Tseng before he wandered to his death.

He was passed out near the table that Genesis and Rufus had used to bring Tseng back to life on in the past as if he was attempting to do something but never got to finish it. Genesis had no idea how long Tseng had been lying there or even why, and when he went to pick him up, he discovered that he was still alive.

On top of that, he also discovered something else about Tseng.


	2. Skimming the Surface

**Skimming the Surface**

* * *

><p>"Your eyes…" Genesis quietly muses after he kneels down to check Tseng's pulse and the man's eyes flutter open in a startled manner.<p>

They have a silvery hue to them and Tseng starts to stabilize while Genesis carefully lifts him and Tseng stares blindly ahead while weakly trembling, and when Genesis waves his hand in front of Tseng's eyes, he realises that they aren't following the movement like they normally would.

He wryly smiles then, as if he's suddenly amused and quietly mutters to himself that, "I suppose that fate isn't always unwarranted."

Genesis appears uncertain as to how long Tseng had been lying on the floor and he takes a quick look around while attempting to help him up before he's roughly pushed away and loses his balance.

"Get away from me!" Tseng growls as Genesis stumbles to regain his balance. Then he grimaces and blindly scurries across the floor while madly demanding and grasping at his head as if it hurts too much to bear, "What have you done to me?"

"I see," Genesis softly says. Then he takes a deep breath and stands while brushing the dust from his palms and assuming, "You apparently don't need your eyes to know who I am."

Then he narrows his eyes and scrutinizes the man while concluding, "And apparently, you think I'm the one that did this to you… again"

After that, Genesis calmly walks to the operating table and lightly runs his fingers over the light layer of frost on it. It appears as though it's been undisturbed since the last time he was there. Then he studies the tips of his fingers and lightly runs his thumb over them as if he's contemplating something.

"Curious…" he mutters to himself, and then he looks up to the broken lights above before he sets his attention on the unused machines against the wall. "No disturbances. Yet… Here you are…"

With another wry smile, Genesis walks over to a portable tray full of unused instruments and lightly dances his fingers over them.

"You're confused," he finally tells Tseng while keeping his back to him, and then he slowly turns a full circle to regard the rest of the room. Everything is as they left it. Broken glass is still shattered on the floor from when Genesis threw Vincent through the pane behind the terminal.

Dried blood that has turned to the colour of rust is streaked across the floor, and the straps on the table are exactly as they were after Genesis let Vincent go and took him outside to watch the madness that Genesis found himself constantly drowning in.

Rufus Shinra's body, however, is gone, and for a while, Genesis merely stands there and stares at the spot where the man last laid. Splattered blood still stains the wall that was behind him, and faint streaks are present on the floor to show that he'd been dragged away.

"Hm," Genesis muses as he slowly steps through the doorway and stares at the spot as if he were studying it before he slowly assumes that, "Reno must have come back and buried the man."

Then he turns to regard Tseng who is panting and rocking while still grasping at his head.

"But why didn't he do the same for you?" he asks.

Then he sympathetically smiles and slowly walks towards Tseng as if he's concerned about alarming the man by sudden movements as he kneels beside him.

"Perhaps it was because he couldn't find you… Where have you been, little dog?" he softly asks while lightly stroking Tseng's dirty hair before his hand is roughly batted away and Tseng moves closer to the wall. Then he frowns and rests his forearms on his knees as he tilts his head and continues to curiously stare at Tseng. "Or would it be more accurate to ask, 'What have you been up to for the last six months?"

"You tell me," Tseng laboriously breathes out, and then he suddenly appears as if he's having trouble comprehending the situation or his whereabouts and whispers, "Six months?"

"Yes," Genesis softly answers. "We believed that you were finally dead, but apparently, assumptions are nothing more than what they are… Surely, you couldn't have been conscious all this time," Genesis muses before he stands again and stares down at the man, still appearing curious as to what might have transpired.

"Leviathan…" Tseng mutters and shakily feels along the floor while carefully attempting to move forward before he grimaces again and falls to his side in a heap while grunting out in a searching tone, "Vincent…"

"Vincent…" Genesis slowly repeats as he nods and frowns. Then he kneels down again so that he can gently place his hand on Tseng's back as if he's attempting to console the man while he tells him, "My dear pet, much has happened since the days you recall, and I fear… your beloved Vincent has made new enemies."

"New… Old…" Tseng mutters and shakes his head like he's not really paying attention, "Your words are poison and mean nothing anymore."

"Perhaps," Genesis agrees. Then he sneers and lifts Tseng by the waist while ignoring the pained scream from the man's discomfort and casually grunts out, "However, it does nothing to change the fact that your lover is now dead."

After that, he cruelly hisses into Tseng's ear while the man struggles to get away that, "Not to mention the fact that if he _were_ alive, you probably wouldn't want him to see what kind of _monster_ you've turned into!"

That's when the panic starts. Tseng struggles more vehemently to escape Genesis' grip. His filthy black hair barely moves as it hangs in his face and he tries to tear himself free from the vice-like grip he's suddenly finding himself in, and his scream comes out in more of a frightened screech than anything else, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!"

* * *

><p>Tseng didn't always look the way that he does now, nor did he ever openly panic they way he's panicking now. He wasn't always a mess and for the most part, he was usually in control. His suit was always neat, clean, and pressed, and he was always presentable if not immaculate.<p>

I remember the first time I saw him. We were lodging in the Junon barracks at the time and he was standing at the gate waiting to be let in. The smell of the ocean wafted through the air and a cool breeze was constantly blowing my hair into my face as the sun started to set in the West.

Back then, Tseng's appearance was much different. His hair was shorter, trimmed neatly near the back with longer bangs in the front as if he were hiding behind them. He was lean and of an average height, and he almost looked shy. Yet he carried a contradictory confidence as his soft brown eyes squinted from the sunlight and scanned the area through the security fence he was standing behind.

Even his posture portrayed nothing less than confidence and he firmly pulled on the gate when the welcoming buzz from the mechanical lock sounded to let him in.

Despite his immaculate appearance and those exotic eyes that meticulously scanned his surroundings, I doubt I would have noticed him that day if it wasn't for Genesis curiously calling my attention over to the chain-linked fence to, "Take a look at this."

He'd been standing there for some time, looking at whatever it was that caught his undivided attention and I sighed in frustration and rolled my eyes when I finally sheathed my sword with my back to him and Angeal did the same.

All the while, I believe we were both half-expecting him to tell us to look at the sunset for the millionth time until I found myself just as curious as him all of the sudden. Yet, somehow, Angeal couldn't have been any less disenchanted by the view as he knitted his brows and looked down.

"It's a Turk," he flatly pointed out. He sounded as if he was irritated by the fact that he was interrupted to come and look at something that he found to be a waste of his time and he shrugged his broad shoulders as if he couldn't have cared less about Genesis' discovery.

Then he returned to the area that he and I were sparring in and he stood there like he was waiting for me to be just as disenchanted as he was so that we could return to our meaningless game of swordplay.

However, much to his discouragement, I wound up just as taken with the man as Genesis was, and I slowly nodded when he reluctantly agreed that, "It would appear so."

"So," Angeal stated as he pulled out his broadsword and slowly sliced through the air in front of him in a manner of exercise, "We see Turks all the time—what's the big deal about this one?"

"He looks…" Genesis started, and then he paused for a moment and tilted his head as Tseng entered the grounds of the facility and shook the administrator's hand when he was greeted, "Wutian."

"Well," Angeal laughed out as he walked back up to us and sheathed his sword before standing beside us, "We've seen Wutians before too."

"True," Genesis agreed, "But a Wutian… Turk?"

"Maybe he's a specialist," Angeal carelessly concluded, and then he laughed and playfully nudged me on the shoulder like he thought we were attempting to discover a conspiracy that didn't exist.

However, when he took a closer look at the way we were watching him, he settled his attention from me to Genesis and narrowed his eyes. Then he turned his attention back to Tseng and studied him for a moment longer before he concluded that, "The man's married."

"Pardon?" Genesis asked as I grabbed onto the fence and stared more intently at the Turk while Angeal clarified as he motioned to the man that, "He's wearing a ring on his left finger… See?"

_How disappointing,_ I thought as Genesis lowered his head and turned his attention to Angeal as if he was also disappointed.

Then he suddenly sounded as disenchanted as Angeal when he agreed, "So he is."

It was only the beginning though, and as things stood at that moment, neither Genesis nor I were entirely convinced that there wasn't more to the man than met the eye, and as far as Angeal was concerned, there was 'no honour' in pursuing a married man, let alone allowing ourselves to be fascinated with someone that was "Clearly older than us."

* * *

><p>Perhaps he was right on more accounts than either of us wanted to admit to. Tseng was six years older than me and as Angeal pointed out, he was also married to a woman that was carrying his unborn child. To him, we were just children who had too much time on our hands and he made no attempt to hide the fact that he felt that way about us.<p>

As a result, he returned none of the interest that we inevitably smothered him with, and he often told us that, "You boys need to get out more."

He was probably right about us in those early days even though we didn't see it his way. To him, the only time any of us got out was when we were sent on a mission, and to us, we felt that being sent all over the world was more than adequate.

"I'm not talking about that," he would often say when we'd argue the fact while he'd flip through his papers and avoid looking at us like we were simply wasting his time, "I mean like normal children."

"_Normal_ children," I once said to him while looking puzzled as he rifled through his filing cabinet.

"Yes," he answered, and then he found the file he was looking for and flipped through it while quickly walking past me as if I was in his way. Then he sat down and placed the file on his desk before he suddenly looked at me like he was surprised that I was still standing there.

"Leviathan…" he muttered, and then he folded his hands on the desk in front of him and leaned forward while saying, "You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

"Yes," I slowly responded, "I do… You're… talking about… children," and then I looked at him like I didn't really know what he was talking about, and he told me to, "Get out of my office."

Well, unlike me, Angeal and Genesis had more of a childhood than I did, I suppose. They spoke of times playing in fields and getting into trouble. Not to mention that they also knew each other from the time since they were able to walk.

Yet one could say that all three of us clashed in some ways, despite how close we were. Genesis was a lean and fit aristocrat that never forgot his background. He was well-read, appreciated the arts, and was a bit of a snob at times and had expensive taste. He was also fiercely competitive that he would lose his temper if things didn't go the way he planned, whereas Angeal and I were more level-headed and focused in that aspect.

Angeal used to tease him that it was because of the red in his hair, which seemed more auburn to me but I wasn't about to argue with him.

Contrary to Genesis, Angeal was down to earth. He was broadly built and poverty risen. As a result, he understood the meaning of honour and a good day's worth of hard labour. He also carried himself with a calming disposition that people respected and looked up to.

In many ways, he was both the humour and the reason that completed our small little circle due to his ability to look at a situation from different angles.

I, on the other hand, was raised quite differently. Even my appearance was different. I had no real colouring to speak of. My hair was white, my skin was pale, though lightly freckled, and my eyes were such a pale green that they were almost colourless. I rarely played outside and spent my spare time with my nose buried in books meant to educate me.

I also had no parents to speak of and often felt left out when Genesis and Angeal would reminisce about getting into trouble with theirs.

About the closest thing I had to a parent was an arrogant scientist named Hojo. He refused to cook, clean, or offer any kind of attention that would resemble compassion. According to him, such worthless endearments to feed a weak ego was trivial and beneath him.

"I have more important things to do," he once told me as he waved me away with his hand when I told him I was hungry, "Surely, you're old enough to figure out how to put two pieces of glutinous fibre together."

I figured he meant a sandwich and went about the process only to discover how simple and satisfying it was.

From that point on, I experimented with all kinds of sandwich concoctions and came to discover that I was quite the creative chef, for what little I had to learn from.

On the other hand, most people seemed more interested in their own meals that were borne with the use of heat, which was something I never considered until I was presented with the prospect.

Oddly enough, Hojo seemed delighted about the idea and figured it would be worth his time to conduct such an experiment, and at the time, I had no idea that he meant the experiment would be _me_ and how _I_ was able to figure out the basics of survival on my own because little did I know, the man already knew how to cook.

He just didn't have the time of day to exert the energy into something so unimportant, even if it meant teaching or caring for a child.

That was the way it was for me. Nothing about my life seemed unusual at the time, even the fact that I hadn't had a haircut since I could remember until I started training for Soldier. It was then that I came to realise that everyone else around me had quite a different experience growing up. It seemed to be common for the mother of the household to cook their meals and many of them had no idea how to take care of themselves.

Perhaps I should have been more grateful to the fact that I learned almost everything I needed to learn about survival due to Hojo's negligence. However, the truth was that I felt left out. It wasn't only the differences in my upbringing. It was also my appearance.

I felt dull compared to the other boys I was around. Compared to me, they were beautiful, colourful, and attractive, and I felt… different.

Maybe it was those qualities, or lack thereof, that made me start noticing the other males as more than just peers.

However, as time went on, I came to realise that the others never viewed me in the same way that I viewed myself. In their eyes, I was rare and attractive, and despite the fact that I disagreed at first, I decided that it was best to just go with it.

If they saw me as something special, then so be it, and eventually I started to believe it.

Tseng, on the other hand, didn't see me the way I came to expect others to see me. What he saw was a child. He viewed me as arrogant, egotistical, and a little too conceited for my own good. In fact, in the cold factuality of his own words, he told me that, "You don't impress me."

In a way, I suppose that was all it took for me to want him more. His lack of interest, his animosity, and his out-right temper in regards to my ignorance on the matter was only fuel for a fire that was beginning to burn out of control.

After a while, Tseng became an object of desire—a trophy to be won—rather than a man who had a loving wife, daughter, and a deeper sense of sensitivity than he would ever be willing to let anyone know about. To both Genesis and me, he became a competition, and to both of us, competitions weren't something to be taken lightly.

The fact that he was a grown man that reacted to situations in ways that hid something beneath the surface was what intrigued me most of all. To me, Tseng saw the world like a child saw a cookie jar. He wanted what was inside. He wanted to taste it and experience it. Yet, he feared nothing more than getting caught by whatever ghosts he conjured for the very purpose of control.

Maybe that was his greatest appeal to us. In many ways, it was more challenging to love a man that didn't want to be loved. It was more challenging to break down his barrier, and more challenging to see him let himself go.

And getting Tseng to let go was nothing short of a challenge.

* * *

><p>In fact, one of my fondest memories might be the very first time I attempted to test the limits with him. I was eighteen, I think. Hojo never really gave me a straight answer about my age, and Tseng had returned from a job on the field after something went terribly wrong.<p>

Two of their peers never came back with them and as a way to deal with it, Tseng went straight into one of the training rooms after a lengthy meeting that followed his return.

After six years of watching and periodically working with the man, I came to notice that there was two ways that he dealt with stress. One was that he would work himself into exhaustion either through training or through paper-work, and the other was that he would drink until he no longer cared about what happened.

The latter was his more destructive aspect because Tseng was far from a pleasant drunk. He would lash out and do things that were uncalled for, and to make matters worse, he would often drink alone and then go out so that he could attack the first unsuspecting individual in order to make himself feel better—or as many put it, to make himself feel superior.

That wasn't the case though. Tseng never felt good about what he'd done after the alcohol wore off. He was just very good at covering up that fact, and as I watched him walk out of that meeting and go straight to the training room, I followed.

I watched him as he angrily punched his code into the security panel and then I waited while contemplating whether or not my plan was as good of an idea as I initially thought it was.

However, as soon as he entered the room, my reasoning quickly disappeared and I punched my own code into the panel. Then I quietly entered the room and remained in the shadows while I watched with a growing respect for his abilities. Up until that day, I had only ever seen the man use firearms. He was a good shot, accurate, quick, and I assumed it was his weapon of choice and where his true talent lied.

I was quickly proven wrong though. It was another of many surprises that hid beneath the multi-layered surface I was quickly learning about. I was also surprised that he didn't pound his frustration out through fists and sheer physical force and speed, which is something else I'd seen him do on occasion.

Instead, he was graceful and elegant while he swung two swords as if he was engaged in part of an elaborate dance. He would use one as a guard and then swing with the other. Other times, he would use both as a block and then attack with both.

I was awe-struck, to say the least. To wield two swords and to move with the flexibility and ease as he did, like a sleek cat, showed years of dedication to something that seemed more like an art than anything else to him.

Needless to say, I could hardly contain myself and I completely forgot why I was there in the first place. I simply had to engage. I had to accept the challenge and partake in the glory of the battle.

In other words, I simply wasn't thinking and I jumped right in, sword readied, and pissed him off.

My actions were more akin to what I would have done if I'd walked in on Genesis or Angeal. The sense of competition and challenge kicked in, and I took down his targets before I turned on him, figuring he could handle it, and he did.

He did it with the same fierceness and passion as Genesis.

He was quick and suddenly more focused with a fire in his eyes that should have set off warnings. I was too taken with the moment to care and his disdain only added to the heat of the moment as I swung down and he quickly crossed his swords to block an attack that would have split him down the centre.

Shortly after that, I discovered that he could fight dirty when he wanted to, breaking all the rules I was trained to abide by and compromising his attacks to gain him an advantage, and he knocked me down by curving the blade in his right hand so that it wouldn't cut me while he sucker-punched me in the face and planted his foot square under my ribs.

_So much for taking it easy on him…_

Then he looked down at me with that cruel look I'd come to know over the years and smirked while inviting the challenge as if he were getting more out of it than the automated program I'd so cockily disrupted.

"A _good_ soldier would have seen that coming," he said as I inwardly smiled and rubbed at the sore spot on my cheek.

I interpreted his words for what I still believe they meant. He was inviting me to continue, and when I caught his eyes suddenly wander down to the tear in my shirt, I took the opportunity to swing my leg under his to knock him down and then I pounced on him.

When I look back, the next thing I did probably wasn't the best course of action even though it seemed like time stood still as I laid over him and kept him pinned to the floor. It was like a fantasy come true, to have him close enough to see the subtle hues of rose and miniscule specks of amber in those eyes that appeared so black from a distance.

The fine lines starting to form at the corners of his eyes, his cream-like skin that contrasted with the dark brows and black hair—so opposite to my own appearance—made him seem like something rare and precious to me.

And like the mindless troglodyte that I often was in Tseng's presence, I suddenly realised that I had to see what those lips felt like against my own. I had to press my tongue into his mouth to taste him and gain his acceptance. No matter the cost, I had to let him know how much I wanted him.

Oh, and what a price it was.

His knee came so hard against my groin that I think I was able to taste myself for a brief duration. Then he cracked something across my back that felt like the sting of a hundred cactuar needles. I can't even recall how in the hell he got to his feet so fast. His assault was relentless.

He might have even asked me, "What the hell is the matter with you!" at one point.

However, I don't think he really cared about getting an answer as he angrily grabbed his jacket and started to storm out before having a second thought that brought him back to me so that he could kick me in the ribs and hiss my own name at me like it was a curse of some sort.

It was at that moment, as I laid there in agony, moaning and groaning and cupping my groin from the unexpected attack, that I suddenly realised what love really was.

No one had ever bested me before, and to top it off, no one had ever denied me before. I'll admit that I might have been a little vain and that Tseng was probably a little out of my league.

But the truth was that up until that moment, I already knew that I could have anyone I wanted within my limited proximity, and suddenly, the only one that I wanted had become more unreachable than he already was somehow, and I might have even smiled, despite how painfully I was grinding my teeth as he spat out, "Stick to your soldiers, Sephiroth, you'll have better luck with them." Then he stormed out for good while leaving the door open for Genesis, who just happened to be standing outside at that moment to notice me and grin as he walked in.

"Bested by a Turk…" he musically said as he kneeled beside me and stared at the door while musing that, "He seemed very angry… Whatever did you do to upset him?"

I could tell by his tone that he had a fairly good idea as to what transpired, and I could also tell by his tone that he was more than 'amused' by the outcome. Far be it from Genesis to show compassion over something he felt was more than deserved, and he quickly carried on with the topic to suit his curious nature when I tried to stand.

"What happened to your shirt?"

"He cut me," I grunted out, and then I looked down to see the large tear down the front of my uniform and the reddening skin that his sword grazed beneath.

"You?" he asked, and smiled as his conniving green eyes wandered down the tear and his brow rose, "A Turk managed to do that?"

"He's no Turk," I muttered, convinced at that very moment that he was something entirely different.

He was more akin to something far more dangerous than anything Shinra could ever conjure. His hypnotic look, his alluring eyes, and his sharper than death kick and assault all reminded me of something…. It reminded me of something that would lure you in right before it killed you.

"What is he then?"

"A damned tonberry," I responded, and then I painfully limped out of the room and left Genesis behind to snicker at the situation like he felt I got exactly what I deserved.

* * *

><p>That was the best way to describe Tseng in one word. At least, that was the best way for me to describe him. I wanted him, I coveted him, and I even went so far as to learn about every dirty little secret that he had buried beneath that austere snob that he pretended to be—and he had more than I ever would have guessed.<p>

It became known to me long before I ever made that move on him in the training room that he was a conniving liar. I was also well-aware of the way that he looked at other men. I suppose, in his eyes, as long as he didn't participate in anything that could come back to him that he wasn't doing anything wrong.

However, all it really told me was that he was living a lie and that I would be far better suited to him than his wife, or anyone else for that matter.

And like the tonberry that he was, the more you were drawn to him, the more dangerous and deceiving your surroundings would become.

Yet in many ways, I thrived on it and yearned for it for reasons I could never put my finger on.

The fact that his wife would often start arguments with him because he was a workaholic and he never spent enough time with her told me I might have a better chance with him than I initially thought, and the fact that he tried to turn his life into something that went against the grain of his core being convinced me that I could save him from his own mistakes by showing him how free he could be if he'd only be honest with himself.

Unfortunately, there was one thing that stood in my way more than anything else, and it was probably the only thing in Tseng's life that wasn't a lie.

It was his daughter. He loved her, spoiled her, doted over her, and adored her more than life itself. In fact, between his mother and his daughter, it was no wonder that his wife felt as neglected as she did.

Despite all the lies he told though, he genuinely wanted to be the perfect husband, son, and father.

* * *

><p>"Sometimes, I believe that he resents them," Genesis once said to me.<p>

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said that you saw him in Wall Market, right?"

"Mm."

"Well, why would he be there if he was as happily married as he'd like everyone to believe…? Not only that, have you noticed the way that he hides."

"No."

At that comment, Genesis side-glanced at me while we sat atop the Shinra tower and wondered where Angeal was. The three of us would often meet up there where it was quiet and we could just be ourselves under the night skies that remained hidden from the slums. It was in contrast to Tseng hiding and not wanting to be himself, and maybe that was part of the attraction.

The three of us wanted nothing more than to escape a world that we felt imprisoned us. Yet, Tseng strived to be caged. It was another curious quality of his that intrigued me.

It was also something that intrigued Genesis, so I gathered since he hadn't stopped talking about the man from the moment he joined me on the rooftop.

It started out as him poking fun at me for what happened earlier that day when Tseng humiliated me in the training room. Then it continued to him finding even more amusement over what happened afterwards.

To be honest, there was something about Tseng that drove me to do unusual things when I was around him, and I didn't doubt for a second that I was driving him equally crazy. Though perhaps, it was having more of a negative impact on any chance I might have stood with him than I would have liked. Yet I couldn't help myself.

Ever since that kiss, I couldn't get him out of my mind. I couldn't get the fact that I could have sworn, that maybe for a split second—or more—that I think he might have actually kissed me back.

But I wasn't sure, and for the tenth time—most-likely more—I rubbed my fingers lightly over my lips while Genesis continued to poetically babble out his theories about how Tseng's bangs were too long and that he genuinely believed that the man was hiding behind them.

I could honestly say that I didn't really care. Tseng's bangs were the last thing on my mind as I wondered whether or not I actually felt something hard against my leg when I pinned him down, and whether or not I actually felt his hand run up my back like a subtle wanton brush.

Or was that just his way of ensuring that I didn't foresee that knee smashing into my groin in a way that would never let me forget how dangerous it was to touch that man?

"There's something else in those eyes too…" Genesis continued. Though I honestly had no idea what he was talking about anymore. He lost me on 'bangs'. "I don't think he trusts anyone… I wonder why that is… Do you think he's like that for a reason?"

"I dunno," I muttered, and adjusted my pants to alleviate the lingering soreness while squirming more comfortably into one of the patio chairs that we brought up with us. Angeal found a set and then chastised us for taking them because they might have belonged to someone.

We didn't care though. It was probably one of the most 'potentially' bad things either of us had ever done up until that point that it felt kind of good, even though Genesis and I highly suspected that they were in the garbage for a reason that went against Angeal's concerns.

Not to mention that I probably took the whole cake and ate it on 'potentially' bad things in one afternoon.

Not only did I over-step my bounds during Tseng's personal training session, but due to the fact that I couldn't get over the fact that I was certain he kissed me back, I stormed into his office and confronted him on the matter.

His only response to the accusation was that, "You need to get out of my office, Sephiroth." After that, he might have mentioned something about me getting my head checked and burning off some of my energy by doing some training of my own or by jumping off a cliff, or something similar. Of course, I knew exactly what he meant by that and I challenged him again by bringing up the fact that I saw him and another man a couple of days ago in Wall Market.

That might have been my second biggest mistake that day. He wasted no time in physically showing me what he thought about that comment while he justified his actions by telling me he was on a job and that I should have known better than to give into gossip, and I retorted by mentioning something about him liking it when I kissed him.

Then he slugged me across the face so hard that I think I temporarily blacked out before he demanded, "Get out of my office! Now!"

"Fine!" I growled back at him, and then I pushed him and went up to his desk and angrily swept everything off of it before storming out. I was angry. Yes. And my pride was damaged over nothing, and to make matters worse, Genesis was conveniently close at hand, yet again, and he ran into Tseng's office as I was storming out to help the miserable tonberry clean up the mess.

_Suck up,_ I thought, and then I stood outside the window to Tseng's office and glared at them both for a second. That was right before I did the third dumbest thing that day. I was already behaving odd. I had no idea why, and the more out of control that my situation became, the more I became frustrated over the fact that I had no control, and the next thing I knew, I picked up one of the small trees in the hall, planter and all, and smashed it through Tseng's window and zoned out.

During that time, I think I heard a high pitched ringing in my ears and a muffled female voice talking to me in a language without words. It's the best way I could describe it if I were to ever choose to explain it.

Shortly after that, I was disciplined by my superiors and then prodded over by Hojo who heard of my outbreak and was suddenly 'curious' as to why I'd do such a thing. "Are you sure you don't recall anything?" he kept asking, over and over before he finally shook his head at my lack of response and paused.

"Very well," he finally said as he examined my eyes more closely, "If you won't be honest about it; how about being honest about what you recall before you blacked out."

_What?_

The only answer I had to offer by that time was that, "He's not like anyone I've ever met before…" I hypnotically started and continued, "He's vile, obstinate, and I… think I like him," despite my confusion over whether there was something else going on that I wasn't quite sure about.

Then it was his turn to be confused, and he asked, "What?" Then he shone his blinding light into my eyes again and demanded with that screechy voice of his that pierced my ears more than usual, "What are you talking about?"


	3. Almost Perfect

**Almost Perfect**

* * *

><p>Days pass while Genesis escorts Tseng across the frozen lands of the Northern Continent. He helps him when he stumbles, feeds him when he's hungry, and guides him to warm caves to spend their nights, and when Tseng tries to run from him, Genesis merely smiles and waits for him to realise that his efforts are feeble at best.<p>

He's well aware of the fact that Tseng can't see, and he simply waits it out with a patient serenity. With arms crossed and a smile to accompany the facts, he watches, and then he calmly fetches Tseng when it becomes a mutual understanding.

"Poor dog," he repeatedly says to him, mockingly and often in a condescending manner. "It's a pity you can't see what I see… The sun is shining and glittering across the land like frozen crystals, and all you see is darkness."

Tseng, being as stubborn as he's always been, retorts by grumbling that, "For all I know, it's probably dull and grey."

"Perhaps," Genesis responds with a smile, and he never seems to mind the rough mannerism in which Tseng attempts to push him away in. it's almost as if he enjoys it when he pulls Tseng even closer and melodically taunts into his ear while rubbing his arms to keep them warm, "However, it appears you have no choice but to take my word for it."

On the fifth day, Genesis spots an abandoned cabin buried high in the mountains. It appears as though it's been untouched for decades if not longer. There are heavy drifts of snow blanketing the roof and drooping to the high mounds below that makes the place seem inaccessible.

He studies it for several minutes with his arms crossed while he stands near the entrance of the cave they settled in the night before. Tseng is still sleeping near the dying embers of the fire and the morning sun is barely peaking over the horizon, casting deep and complimentary shades of lavender and indigo across the sparsely clouded sky.

"Hm," he mutters to himself before he takes a deep breath and walks up to Tseng to make sure that he's sleeping soundly. He brushes his oily hair from his dirty face and smiles as if he's admiring the image. "So peaceful…" he whispers, "One would never guess how twisted your insides are if they were to look upon you at this very point in time."

He takes a small moment to lightly caress his gloved fingers across Tseng's bruised cheek and then he reaches into his pocket to pull out a vial of dream powder. Then he scatters it around Tseng and watches the brief haze settle over top of him before it fades from his sight. After that, he lightly pats Tseng's face with the palm of his hand, smiles, stands, and stretches.

"That should keep you content for now… Little Dog," he says with his back to him as he stares through the entrance at the cabin and tilts his head. "I've much work to do and I wouldn't want you getting any bright ideas when you awake to find yourself alone, being the misguided opportunist that you so often insist on being."

For the rest of the day, Genesis uses spells and sheer physical labour to make the place accessible and liveable while periodically checking on Tseng. He even goes so far as to collect dead wood and other materials that will burn so that he can utilise the wood-burning stove and the wood-fired tub that he found near the back.

"Perfect for bathing the dog," he muses while he studies the surroundings and nods to himself. Its well-secluded by the rocky walls from the cliffs behind and if Tseng were able to see, he might eventually approve of the seclusion on a miniscule level.

As well, the front is a great distance from the lower cliffs and seems invisible to the footpaths carved by many who've lost their way below, and he feels, "It will do… For now…"

When he's finally done exploring the area, he returns to the cave and merely observes Tseng in silence. There's a serene look in his eyes and a subtle smile while he whispers, "Such a pity…" Then he sighs and delivers a brutally swift kick to Tseng's ribs to wake him up and smiles more broadly when the man chokes for air while clinging to the ground.

* * *

><p>"I believe I'm in Hell," Tseng once said to me, "My sheer existence is my bane!"<p>

I told him that, "You don't mean that."

I believed he did though. I believed it then, and I believe it now; it didn't matter that he said it in anger, and it didn't matter that I felt like nothing would ever help him heal.

Unlike the hatred that Genesis and I felt towards the world and those that made us what we were, Tseng's hatred was internal and beyond our scope of understanding, and at the time, his self-loathing became so vile that he was possibly one of the most unpleasant people I'd ever known.

On the other hand, I didn't care. I could never really explain it or understand it, but Tseng's vile nature was one of the things that made him seem more human to me. There were times that I even fed off of it and fed into it just to watch the sparks fly from the stone that he constantly hid his emotions behind.

However, it wasn't just the dark side that I found myself wanting to expose. His temper would pass as quickly as a shooting star and something strange would happen to him. He would soften in the hardest way that he knew how and the reward was a genuine peak at something so beautiful that I could never put it into words.

In a way, he was a sparkling diamond hidden in a coarse piece of blackened coal and it took great care to wear away the rough edges just to glimpse at what shimmered beneath. I don't really think I noticed it until I decided to apologise for my aggressive behaviour the day after I overstepped my bounds.

Or as time would eventually tell me, it was more accurately the day I humiliated him by revealing something he was ashamed of and never wanted to reveal, regardless of how alike we both were in that manner.

It was strange, the way that he made me feel. He made me feel like I was smaller than I thought I was capable of feeling at times, and I wound up as a meek frame standing at the door to the office he was working in. Something about him made me almost feel like a child at times, and I lightly tapped on the open door as if I didn't really want his attention.

Then I waited until he looked up and clenched his jaw as if I were the last person on the planet that he wanted to see.

"Whatever you have to say, make it quick," he curtly barked at me and then he returned to his paperwork in a way that made it obvious that he didn't really care about what I had to say.

But I figured that I needed to get it off of my chest and I told him that, "I wanted to apologise."

"There's no need. As you can see, the window you destroyed was repaired and I believe the expenses will come out of your wages."

_Okay…_

So that was it then. I attempted to apologise for my behaviour and he decided to avoid the topic by talking about his damned hall window that I couldn't have cared less about. I almost left it at that too, but instead, I wound up growling behind my teeth at him that, "I'm not talking about your damned window!"

He moved fast after that, and I actually took a step back, not really knowing what to expect from him after the day before. The next thing that I knew, he grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pulled me into his office, and he nearly slammed his door shut until he had a change of heart at the last second and softly closed it to avoid drawing attention to himself.

Then he quietly said as if he was telling me a secret, "Look…" and then he said nothing. He merely stood there with his fist balled up in the front of my shirt and stared at it before he decided to let go and walked back to his desk while muttering, "As far as I'm concerned Sephiroth, you have nothing to apologise for… In fact, as far as I'm concerned, nothing even happened and I suggest that you keep that in mind."

After that, he told me to leave and I quietly walked out with a twisted sense that maybe this meant I was wearing him down, and I smiled at myself.

* * *

><p>By the time fall arrived and the leaves began to turn, seven months had passed and I came to the conclusion that the more I avoided showing the way he made me feel, the more willing he was to let me get close to him in a form of friendship, which was fine with me. It allowed me to learn a few things about him that I didn't know.<p>

For instance, I didn't know that he used to practice medicine and that Shinra recruited him due to his uncanny talents in the forensic sciences when he turned to it as something to fall back on while working two jobs to make ends meet.

I also didn't know that one of the jobs he worked was as Rufus' part-time care-giver and that it never bothered him. In fact, it made him feel more like he earned his position due to the fact that he felt he'd earned the President's trust through the hard climb he had to make.

It was worth it to him. He seemed happy and felt important, and in turn, he had a young protégé that would one day be in a powerful position that looked up to him and admired him. In a way, Rufus even loved Tseng long before he knew what the word meant and what that feeling would inevitably lead him to.

Tseng was like that though. He carried an aura that won him more admirers than he would ever be aware of. Men, women… It didn't matter. Not even their orientation mattered when it came to him. People simply looked up to him and wanted to be around him and his background never seemed to attract the negativity that one would have expected.

There was something simply magnetic that emanated from him and people responded to it. Even I responded to it, and I didn't care if it was a spell or real, for it felt real enough to me and I liked what it felt like.

In fact, in my own opinion, the only person that didn't admire or care for Tseng the way that everybody else did was his wife, so I preferred to believe, and as I walked up behind him while he was getting ready for a job we were sent on, he kept his back to me and made sure his gun was fully loaded while pointing out that, "Every day, it appears that you go more out of your way to find new ways to disgrace that uniform."

"You need a haircut," I responded, wondering how he could tell that I wasn't wearing a shirt until I noticed the reflective surface on his gun and grinned to myself.

"Yes…" he dryly answered as he quirked his brow in an unimpressed manner, "Unfortunately, I made a bet with Reno and he hasn't cracked yet."

"A bet?"

"Mm… I made the mistake of telling him that if he ever quit smoking that I'd grow my hair. He took me seriously and hasn't lit a damned cigarette since."

"I see," I muttered, and stayed near the entrance as he holstered his gun and turned around with a wry grin when I pointed out that, "It looks terrible."

"It's a mess," he agreed. Though to be honest, I didn't think it looked that bad. It was jagged, but he could have been bald and he still would have looked good enough to me. I just didn't want him to hear me say it for fear that it would thwart the progress I made with him up to that point by pretending to be aloof and not interested, and I merely smiled again when he grumbled as he walked towards me that, "He won't even let me trim it to get it cleaned up."

"Strange that you would let him have that much control over you."

"It's not about control Seph…" he told me as he took a quick look at my chest and shook his head in disapproval, "It's about the fact that I can't stand the smell of him when I have to work with him and he reeks like an ashtray."

_Seph… I like that…_

It was the first time he'd ever shortened my name, and I found myself more taken with that fact than anything else when he asked me if I was, "Ready?", and I nodded as a response.

Then he led the way on our mission and I found myself so satiated by his presence that I didn't even care about the fact that I missed my first target and that Angeal carried a constant look of disapproval in his eyes like he knew what was really on my mind that day.

In fact, I didn't even care that it was my very first mission without Genesis to constantly challenge me, mock me, and keep me company, and I suddenly no longer cared that we were sent on separate missions despite my original disdain towards the matter.

All I could focus on that day was how much I wanted to be with Tseng and how much I wanted him to be with me, and how much it suddenly started to look promising.

* * *

><p>Things went on like that for a while. Our conversations became more personable and relaxed and he'd shed his serious side from time to time. He'd smile while curling his finger over his mouth, lean into me when I'd say something he found amusing, and he'd nudge me when something caught his attention that he wanted to share.<p>

Back then, Tseng was a different man than the one he is now and the more I got to know him, the lighter the air around him became. I even began to feel more enchanted by his shy nature and self-conscious attitude the more I recognised it for what it was.

I came to learn that he had a charming sense of humour and a bit of an inner child that liked to come out and cause mischief. He was good at hiding it though. In fact, part of his humour was in his ability to pretend that he disapproved of such things and people rarely realised that it was Tseng who'd instigate uncommon situations within his field of comfort.

No one ever suspected that those haunted dark eyes held a light that shone brightly behind them. Unfortunately, he would never share what it was that haunted him or why he'd react the way that he did when certain topics were brought up, and whenever he was asked a question about his past, he would skilfully change the subject or find a reason to leave while the rest of us would silently wonder in his unpredictable absence that was starting to become predictable.

Well, I suppose it was fair to say that Tseng was far from perfect and that it was also part of his unspoken appeal, and when I heard that he was coming to Junon to watch over a rumoured investigation, I almost couldn't contain myself.

By that time, I was almost living there and in Midgar simultaneously. In fact, I was sent to Junon so often that I wound up acquiring a two bedroom apartment and had it set up similar to my apartment back in Midgar.

It wasn't as spacious or as modern as I would have liked, but it suited my needs and I wound up setting up several bookshelves to host my fictional escape. Other than that, everything was fairly modest. The furniture was locally purchased and the view overlooked a testing site that they were clearing out to build some sort of facility that changed on a daily basis.

I didn't mind though. I rarely spent my time on the view as it was and since I had my books, I could wander off to any place I chose to imagine. Not to mention that I had the same means of entertainment that most other people had. I had a small television on a cart that I watched the news on, and a portable stereo on the kitchen counter that I rarely turned on. None of it was as elaborate as what I had back in Midgar, but I also seemed to have a lot more to do outside of my apartment whenever I was in Junon.

All of that aside, Tseng finally became comfortable enough to trust me by then and on occasion, he'd even join me for a meal when he'd come to visit. I believed then—and even now—that he was beginning to consider us as friends.

However, it still wasn't enough for me, despite the fact that I behaved around him and didn't want to do anything to ruin the friendship that was developing between us. In fact, I went a step further one day to ensure that our relationship evolved and I wound up damaging the water main to the hotel he was supposed to stay in after ensuring that there were no other available rooms in town due to the high volume of traffic to Costa Del Sol from Junon's ports during that time of year.

As an after-thought, I'm sure I would have been under Hojo's scrutinised watch more closely than I already was if he'd known.

But since no one knew, it was easy for me to innocently over-hear the conversation in the office when he arrived, and it was easy enough to act surprised over the news without appearing suspiciously surprised.

And as any good friend would have done in such a situation, I offered my spare room to him in front of everyone so that he couldn't refuse.

Now that I look back, I realise that I didn't really have a plan other than the initial sabotage. It was much like everything else that I did that involved him—I never really knew why I did it and sometimes I even felt like I was possessed by some kind of madness. I knew I was doing it; I just didn't know why besides the fact that I simply wanted to spend more time with him in a closer and more private setting where he wouldn't constantly be concerned about innocent onlookers over nothing.

So I told myself, and so I believed.

* * *

><p>That evening, I helped him carry his bags that didn't consist of anything beyond necessity and I found myself subtly smiling at him as I stood behind him and watched him hang his pressed suits in the empty closet of the spare room. All the while, he habitually took his time ensuring that everything was in perfect condition like he always did.<p>

I also couldn't help but entertain the idea that he might have been doing it more to avoid spending too much time alone with me and I went into the kitchen to make our dinner which consisted of the few basic meals I knew how to cook—steak and potatoes with some frozen vegetables on the side.

I also took the liberty of appealing to his finer tastes and opened an old bottle of wine that I'd been saving for that very occasion while brushing off the strange concern I had over the possibility of him not liking the meal I was making.

In a way, I suppose the wine was serving more of a secondary purpose since I figured I was going to need all the help I could get. Not to mention that I was also counting on it to lower his inhibitions as much as it could despite the rumours I'd heard of him being a violent drunk. Besides, I was sure I could handle myself if things managed to get out of hand and I happily filled his glass to the spilling point while smiling and flipping the steaks.

He was more of a challenge than I anticipated either way though.

Unlike most people, he didn't appear to loosen up like I was hoping. He drank the entire bottle and moved onto the next one without losing his balance or even slurring. In fact, he was so aware of his surroundings that he even motioned his fork to my glass of water while chewing on his steak and asked me, "You don't drink?"

"No," I honestly answered, and he merely quirked his brow while washing his meal down with a large gulp as I sat there and watched him in front of a meal I'd barely touched.

After that, he rinsed off his plate and set it aside, and then he went into his room and brought his laptop out after deciding it was a good time to finish up on his day's work without missing a beat. All the while I sat on the sofa, baffled at his insufferable mannerism until he finally acknowledged his surroundings and commented on the number of books and bookshelves I had lining the North wall.

"I had no idea you read so much," he observed and waved his hand about as if to point them out while I reached over, filled up his drink again, and sarcastically mused over his observation.

"So you assume Soldiers don't exercise their minds much."

For a moment he looked at me side-ways as if he was taken off guard before he took a large gulp from his glass and wryly mumbled while returning to his laptop that, "I had no idea you were so touchy."

"So you assume I'm incapable of being sensitive because I'm a Soldier?"

"Good Leviathan, Seph… not everything revolves around you being a dumb insensitive Soldier," he answered. Then he lightly snickered while covering his mouth as if he was enjoying the small game and meagrely added, "I was merely surprised at the number of books you own and was curious as to whether or not you've actually read them."

"That sounded coy," I playfully observed, and filled his glass again before I pointed out the worn spines on several of the books and smirked at the slight blush rising to his cheeks.

"That's hardly impressive," he casually responded and returned to his laptop again while suggesting that, "You could have purchased them used."

"Used…" I repeated. Then I leaned back on the sofa and rested my arms across the back, behind him, and purred out while leaning slightly closer to him that, "I'm not opposed to second-hand goods."

After that, I leaned even closer to him and he quickly set his glass down on the coffee table. Then he blurted out that he was still hungry while suddenly being the polite host to my own home and I concluded that he was beginning to think he'd made a mistake by accepting my hospitality.

"How about you? Are you still hungry?" he asked, and started opening my near-empty cupboards before setting his attention on a package of old noodles and a dented can of tomato sauce, "I make a 'mean' spaghetti… if you have the right spices… actually… hm… I'm sure I can improvise."

"Improvise…" I muttered, low enough so that he didn't hear me when I added that, "I don't give a damn about your ability to improvise…" But then again, maybe I did, and I let out a heavy sigh as I stood up and came to stand behind him so I could silently observe him with a growing frustration.

"Leviathan, Seph… when was the last time you went shopping?"

"I usually eat in the barracks," I grumbled in answer to his desire to point out that I might as well have been absent while he scrutinized the age of the noodles and the can, along with the dust lying atop them. Apparently, getting Tseng drunk did nothing to cure him of his innate need to control his environment, or anything else for that matter.

It suddenly made me wonder about the rumours of his violent outbursts and I wound up entertaining the fact that maybe he was that way whether he drank or not, and maybe I was just lucky enough not to have seen it.

Either that or I was simply unable to recognise what violent behaviour was while I reflected on how many times he'd smacked me, hit me, punched me, kicked me, yelled at me…

_Hm..._

No, I honestly couldn't recall a single violent outburst as I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned at him.

At that point, I decided that I was over-analyzing the situation and decided to do what I did best. I acted on impulse and found myself suddenly grabbing him by the back of his shirt to spin him around, not caring about the fact that he nearly hit me in the process as I anticipated it and forcefully grabbed his wrist to protect myself after he yelled something in surprise at me.

_Not this time, _I thought. I let him call the shots and control every situation in the past out of sheer complacence and the fear of hurting or upsetting him if I fought back, but not that night.

He was driving me crazy. The way he moved, talked, ran his fingers through that insanely beautiful hair and flirtatiously covered those slightly crooked teeth whenever he smiled or laughed… He was…

_Oh… so… beautiful…_

I guess that might have been the reason I slammed him against my fridge and pinned him with the weight of my own body while I held his wrists above his head and smothered him with my inability to resist him any longer.

He might have even protested at that moment. I don't know. It was a little hard to tell with my mouth in the way of his but at least he didn't bite.

In other words, I guess I was at a point to where 'No' had no meaning. Nor did the airy phrase that struck me as him uncharacteristically begging, "I'm married," when he was finally able to gasp for air after I pulled away long enough to hungrily demand that he, "Make love to me." And if it wasn't for his sudden and unexpected melt-down and willingness after I decided to mindlessly counter his argument by improvising, "Then let me make love to you…"

Well, I fear what the situation might have turned into.

* * *

><p>There was nothing comparable to holding a man of his stature in my arms and having that desire returned with the same intensity.<p>

His desirable touch, his succulent kiss, even the way that he moved told me that he wanted me as greedily as I wanted him, if not more so, and the taste of the wine on his tongue was more intoxicating than if I'd been drinking it myself, making me realise that he was more drunk than I originally suspected.

It was all the confirmation I needed and I let go of his wrists so that he could slide down to his knees in front of me and eagerly undo my pants.

_Oh… My… _

I wanted more than that though, and as appealing as the sensation and the feel of my hand in his hair was, I wound up stopping him so that I could pull him back up and take him to my room. He was far more deserving of something greater than an act akin to something I'd expect in the back of an alley, and despite the fact that it never bothered me in the past, I wanted to show him exactly how differently I felt about him.

From that point on, things couldn't have possibly gone better. His compliance, his willingness, his subtle moans, along with his eagerness and guiding hands in experience led to my growing discovery that there was so much more to the man than he was willing to let on.

Every suspicion that I had of him was confirmed and I never bothered to question him on any of it for fear of ruining what felt like the perfect moment.

There was something truly unique about the experience I shared with him. The sensations felt stronger and more intoxicating than what I'd experienced with others and from what I could gather, he seemed to be affected the same way.

It was almost like we were suddenly joined on another level and I could feel everything that he felt. Strange and perverse images mingled with my own and I almost felt like I was encapsulated in another world that I was feeling a stronger desire for.

It was never like that with anyone else, and by the time I finally realised that I'd climaxed inside of him, I barely noticed that there was a soft ringing in my ears.

"Leviathan…" he breathed out, hunched over and panting while hanging onto the sheets. All the while, I hung onto him for fear of losing the moment, "I've… never… experienced that before…"

"Me neither," I dizzily responded, not even curious as to what he was referring to while we both fell to the bed and mindlessly laid there.

All the while, a distant song sang in my head like the song of a siren. I couldn't make out the words or the rhythm. Nor could I even make out the actual tone of the sound. All I knew was that it was there in a subtle and lulling way and that I was willingly drowning in it like I was addicted to it.

In a way, it was like a reward that drowned out my own thoughts to a point to where nothing mattered, and I liked it.

I could never say whether he was under a similar influence though, mostly due to the fact that by the time it started to wear off and I realised that I loved him more than I thought I did, and that he might even feel the same way, reality reared its ugly head.

"Leviathan," he muttered to himself when he simultaneously sat up and searched the room for his clothes, suddenly breaking whatever spell it was that I was under. Then he jumped from the bed and started collecting them as if he was in a hurry and I sat up and watched him with a growing regret over my thoughtless actions.

"What are you doing?" I cautiously asked as he clumsily slipped his legs into his pants and stumbled due to his lack of attention to his balance while he curtly replied, "Leaving."

"Leaving?" I asked, before pointing out that, "It's the middle of the night," while looking at my clock and realising that several hours had passed.

"I know what damned time it is, Sephiroth," he spat out while he shakily started doing his shirt up like he was in a panic and realised that he skipped a button and had to start over. All the while, he was cursing at himself for being so stupid while simultaneously slipping his foot into the wrong shoe.

Then I let out a heavy sigh and brushed my hair from my face while attempting to reason with him. Or to be more truthful, I might have been attempting to manipulate him into staying.

"Oh," I started, before my tone turned somewhat cold when I bitterly reminded him that, "All the hotels are booked. You'll never get a room."

After that, he realised he had his foot in the wrong shoe and nearly tore his own foot off when he decided that he could make better use of it by throwing it at me and smashing the lamp by my bed and I quickly moved out of the way on nothing but reflex.

"I'll figure something out!" he hissed at me as if he was trying his damnedest to keep his voice down in fear of being heard by some unknown entity.

"You nearly hit me," I calmly told him while keeping my tone controlled and he merely nodded at me like he was silently telling me that it was exactly what he was trying to do.

As a result, I sighed in frustration and pushed the blanket aside while grabbing my underwear and quickly put it on.

Then he went to open the door and I slammed it back in his face, purring into his ear that, "You're going to look mighty foolish wandering around Junon in the middle of the night with only one shoe…" Then I curled my forefinger into a lock of his hair and tauntingly ran it through to the end and watched if fall neatly in place, "Not to mention that you look like you just slept with someone you probably shouldn't have."

"Are you threatening me?" he asked, sounding bewildered as he slowly turned under my weight and glared at me while I placed my other palm flat against the door to close him in.

"I think you'd know if I was threatening you," I calmly told him while emptily staring back at him to let him know that he no longer had the upper hand.

"I'm not so sure…" he cautiously replied before a deep regret started to surface in his expression, "I think I'm finally starting to see…."

"See what?" I demanded, intently meeting his eyes with my own, and he merely shook his head without breaking contact.

"You have a dark side," he muttered, "and I don't think I'm particularly fond of it." Then he cautiously placed his palms against my chest and carefully pushed me back while stating that, "You're a good looking man and there's not a doubt in my mind that you're vain enough to realise it."

At that, I eased back and let him push me farther back without knowing how to respond. Either that or I simply didn't want to encourage him to elaborate for fear of where I felt he was going, and I swallowed hard while holding my breath and unconsciously clenching my jaw. Then I backed up on my own and gave him the room that he needed.

"But what I don't understand is why you _insist_ on chasing after me when you can obviously have _anyone_ that you want."

All I had to say to that was, "I know you're not that stupid," and he merely stared at me like he was the one who suddenly didn't know how to respond, and I took it a step further by adding, "Or do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"Don't!" he hissed, holding up his hand and pointing at me as if he thought it could stop me from saying anything else. Then he muttered out, "Leviathan," and shook his head while looking at me like I was a threat of some sort. "I've clearly made a mistake." Then he nervously snickered and decided that he'd rather open the door than discuss something he didn't want to discuss and I grabbed onto the handle to stop him from leaving.

"Let go of the handle, Sephiroth."

"Or what?" I tauntingly asked, feeling the heat of his breath against my cheek and noting the tightening of his jaw as if he were growing angry and trying to restrain himself.

"Just…" he started, and then he paused for a moment and searchingly ran his eyes over me while I focussed on the door in order to keep myself from looking at him, "Let go."

"If I do, you won't come back."

He let out a heavy sigh then and lowered his head as he gently grabbed my wrist to pull my hand away from the door and I let him, realising how futile my actions were and he regretfully muttered as if he was actually sorry, "Exactly, Seph."

Then he shook his head and I finally gave in, reminding him that, "You'll need your other shoe."

He waited when I walked away and reluctantly picked it up so I could hand it to him. All the while, he mindlessly fondled the handle and nervously tapped on it, and when I held it towards him, he quickly nodded and stared at the floor.

"I'm not going to see you again," I finally said when he went to take it and I didn't let go right away, "Am I?"

"I'm afraid that's not the case," he quietly said. Then I let go and he quickly put it on while opening the door at the same time and I simply stood there and watched him. All the while, he refused to look at me and he walked into the other room to gather up his laptop while informing me that, "Sooner or later, we'll wind up with another assignment together…

"I'm afraid I can only come up with so many excuses until the inevitable happens."

"I'm sure you'll give it your best," I openly thought while I stood at the door to my room and leaned against the frame, finding it difficult to fight off the urge to simply knock him out in hopes that I could gain enough time to make him see things my way. It would have been futile though. I knew that then as well as I know it now, and I reluctantly frowned at him while crossing my arms across my chest to keep myself under control.

"I will," he honestly answered. Then he told me that, "I'll send for my clothes once I find a place to stay," and then he walked out.

* * *

><p>He stayed in the barracks that night, stating that he couldn't sleep due to the intense lighting from outside the window of my spare room and that he needed his sleep in order to work on the case he was investigating. He also added that he wanted to be closer to the equipment he had access to and no one ever questioned him any further on the matter. In fact, his story went over so well that it granted him a bed there for every night that he spent in Junon.<p>

I, on the other hand, wound up spending the rest of the night sitting a the kitchen table and staring at his empty wine glass, wondering why I allowed myself to ruin the only friendship that I ever felt was worth something.


	4. A New Beginning

**A New Beginning**

* * *

><p>Days pass and Genesis has managed to turn the cabin into a semi-functional home. The furniture is old and worn; water and food is heated by fire, and perhaps it's a little too rustic for both his and Tseng's tastes. Yet it doesn't appear to matter to either of them very much.<p>

Every day, he collects wood to keep the fires going and food that he prepares to keep Tseng's energy up. He keeps the place tidy and free of obstacles so that Tseng can find his way around.

However, despite everything that he does for him, it's not uncommon for them to find a conflict that sends them both into a relentless battle of their wills over something ill-spoken, and their last encounter involving tasteless comments from both sides left Tseng with no appetite.

For two days, he refused to eat and Genesis remained uncommonly patient with him, knowing that a man can only starve himself for so long until the instincts of survival finally take over, and he tells him that, ''I made you your favourite,'' and Tseng weakly grumbles that, ''You say that about everything.''

Genesis merely smirks and spoons the food onto a plate with a few slices of apple to tend to Tseng's sweeter tastes and places it on the table like he's not expecting anything to come of it. Then he turns his attention to the sofa that Tseng is sitting on and shakes his head.

''You'll eat,'' Genesis calmly tells him as if it's a fact. ''After two days of being held against my own will, even I ate.''

''You have my condolences,'' Tseng irritably responds and Genesis serenely ignores him and sets a fork on the table before he walks over to the sofa and places his hand on Tseng's shoulder.

''Somehow, I believe that your insincerity is not having the effect you were hoping it would have,'' Genesis softly says, ''I also find it hard to believe that you knew nothing of what they were doing to us in those labs.''

''There were things that even Turks didn't know,'' Tseng tells him as Genesis helps him to his feet and guides him to the table and Tseng makes no effort to struggle with him, ''And you should know that as well as anyone.''

''Perhaps you were lucky not to know,'' Genesis muses while he sits Tseng down and guides his hand to a fork and sits in a chair to the right, ''Provided that you're telling the truth.''

''I have no reason to lie about such things…'' Tseng mutters, before he lowers his head and feels along the surface of the table for the plate and pulls it closer while lowering his voice even more when he adds, ''Not anymore…''

''Hm…'' Genesis quietly muses, and stares at Tseng like he doesn't fully believe him.

Then he tilts his head and slowly taps his fingers when Tseng cautiously tastes his food and subtly nods.

''I can't help but wonder what you were eating before I found you,'' he muses while Tseng begins eating with more of an appetite and ignores the fact that his hair is caught in his mouth, and Genesis serenely smiles at him. ''Rats, perhaps?'' he pushes, before further musings that Tseng appears to ignore. ''I wonder what it is that dogs often do to fend for themselves when their masters are no more.''

''Master…'' Tseng muffles out between bites before he laboriously swallows and finally wipes his hair from his mouth with dirty fingers and distastefully snorts, ''I suppose I shouldn't expect anything beyond the meanderings of stray animals from you.''

''Ah… That's right…'' Genesis slowly nods as he pushes a stained glass of water towards Tseng and sympathetically reminds him that, ''Rufus was your friend; not your master, and what a wonderful friend he turned out to be.''

''I've lost my appetite,'' Tseng suddenly grumbles. Then he pushes his plate away and calmly sits back while blindly staring ahead and suppressing a grimace of discomfort and distaste to the intended dig.

''Hm,'' Genesis snorts out and takes an apple slice from Tseng's dinner before he grabs the plate and gets up from the table. ''I suppose I'd lose my appetite too if I had the friends that you had. It would appear that everyone you've ever trusted has turned on you in one way or another.''

''You would know,'' Tseng weakly breathes out as he remains as still and lifeless as a statue and slowly blinks.

''What's that?''

''You heard me,'' Tseng dully replies. ''I was merely pointing out that no one would know better than you with the way that you've been watching me all this time.''

Then he smirks and gets up from the table like he has no desire to continue while Genesis pauses with the plate in his hand and stares at the counter as if he's unsure of how to respond.

Shortly after, Genesis slowly turns and watches Tseng take small and careful steps with his hands outstretched to feel for the furniture that he's slowly learning to use as a guide. Then he tilts his head and his eyes slowly wander down to Tseng's feet.

He's wearing worn socks with holes in them and Genesis slowly walks to the edge of the rug that Tseng's almost made his way across. All the while, he continues to stare at Tseng's feet before he finally lets out a quick snort and points out that, ''You have too much pride for a man in your situation.''

''Fine, Genesis,'' Tseng says as if he's grown bored of the game he feels he's always playing with him. Then he stops before he reaches the other edge of the rug and carefully turns while brushing his hair back in a manner that suggests he's more than aware of the state he's been in for the last several days. ''Perhaps you can tell me what this 'pride' of mine is that you speak of.''

''You still act like you possess the upper hand,'' Genesis points out as his serene eyes grow slightly darker and he narrows them at Tseng. Then he quickly grabs the edge of the rug with his enhanced reflexes and yanks it out from under Tseng's feet, knocking the man onto his back with a startled grunt and a hard thud that makes even Genesis wince.

Then he smirks when he watches Tseng sit up while rubbing at the back of his head and he slowly walks up to him to roughly grab him by the hair while cruelly pointing out, ''Yet, you continuously fail to realise that _you're_ not the one who's in control!''

* * *

><p>Months had passed and no matter what I did to occupy myself, I couldn't get Tseng out of my mind. If I thought I obsessed over him before, then I had no idea what obsession really was. He was in my thoughts when I woke up, when I ate breakfast… He was even in my thoughts when I was sent out on the field and had to neutralize various threats.<p>

I understood why he walked out on me that night, and in a way, I saw it as a positive when I reflected on how guilty he looked and felt. To me, it meant that our time together must have meant something to him, as short as it was, and it meant that he was suddenly torn between a life that he wanted, and a life he was afraid of.

On the other hand, it also created an obstacle that I wasn't ready to give up on, and as I hacked my way through various threats and worked with various soldiers and Turks, I found myself still thinking of him.

Perhaps, in some ways, it was strange, but the more I thought of him, the more focussed I became, and I became more aware of my surroundings and started to notice something was out of sorts.

More and more, creatures were making their presence known like an epidemic that was growing out of control. Things we'd never seen before—hideous and strange—were almost like deformations of already existing life-forms that were known to be harmless. Yet they were transforming, changing, and becoming more dangerous than any of us could have ever imagined.

Even the more volatile creatures of our world seemed to be reacting to this new 'evolution' as scientists were calling it and they started moving from their isolated dens. The places we'd known well not to disturb in the past were no longer sacred, and dangers began to linger everywhere. The parks where children played, the beaches, and the roads most traversed and considered safe were no longer the places of sanctuary we once believed them to be.

'Safe' was a word that was quickly losing meaning as more and more problems arose and creatures that we began to call monsters started to move closer to the towns, and naturally, the finger was pointed at Shinra.

Many people began to believe that the pollution generated by the excessive waste of the Mako refineries were to blame, while an even greater number started to believe that it was the planet itself that was causing the problems as a way to seek vengeance upon us for raping it of its precious mako.

The Lifestream, they said, was beginning to fight back.

We didn't think so though. To be honest, we didn't really think much of anything other than eradicating the problem, and Shinra did its best to ensure the public of its innocence towards the matter.

They tried to convince the public with charts and facts, and all other forms of written and scientific proof that they could throw at the people while stating the advantages of Mako generation and how necessary and dependable it was, and how it couldn't possibly be at fault for the new problems that were arising.

The Slums were the hardest to convince, as well as a handful of cities and towns spread throughout the map, even as far away and remote as Wutai. However, we suspected that Wutai simply jumped on the band wagon because it added fuel to their own agenda and gave them even more reasons to attack and sabotage any plans that Shinra could possibly come up with. As a result, another problem began to arise.

Shinra was suddenly faced with terrorist attacks, infiltration, espionage, and whatever else the invisible enemy could throw at them, and as each attack grew fiercer, Shinra grew more powerful. It was forced to reinforce its armies and the investigation teams known as the Turks. They even went so far as to create specialized teams where turks and soldiers worked closely together for the first time in recorded history in order to try and kill two birds with one stone.

The end result was efficient, but as most power struggles go, it began to develop its own problems where corruption and under-handed dealings began to take place.

By that time, Shinra began to take control of everything from the police department all the way up to the higher ranks of government, and due to the rest of the population being out of control, Shinra was also forced to raise the taxes on the ignorant masses, as President Shinra called them.

They claimed it was due to the increasing need for protection on the streets, and after a while, Shinra was the only name known and it became synonymous with power. Children began to dream of being a part of the Shinra Regime, all the way from where they started at the electrical company that they were the most well-known for, up to the greater factions of its diplomacy.

Despite all of what was going on around us though, I still couldn't get that miserable tonberry out of my head. Of all the people I'd been with, no one had ever walked out on me. No one had ever disgraced something I put my heart into the way that he did, despite how insincere I might have been in the past.

As retrospect would have it, no one had ever left me so confused, desperate, deceived, and embarrassed as he did.

How could I possibly be so wrong about something I felt so strongly about in my heart? How could I allow myself to fall into another's trap without seeing it coming? Had he been playing with me? Leading me on in some sort of twisted and perverse game of his?

Or was I simply twisting the truth to attempt to give myself the fuel I needed in order to write him off as simply another conquest, despite the fact that I was convinced it was quite possibly the first time I'd ever felt that way about another.

He avoided me like the plague though, and that only made my desire for his presence worsen. He wouldn't return my calls, and wherever I went that he was also at, I never saw him. It was like he could sense me in the same way that I could sense him, and he used it to his advantage as a way to torture me.

However, the part that should have struck me as the strangest back then was the fact that I couldsense his presence at all when I never recalled sensing it before the night that we spent together.

As a way to cope, I tried to convince myself that it was for the best. He was too old for me and when it came right down to it, he was a bit of an asshole too. On the other hand, my higher reasoning had no staying power, and I was continuously convinced that we were made for each other.

In my eyes, we were destined to be together regardless of what being together meant to either of us in the long run, and as luck would have had it, the chips of destiny eventually fell into place.

Despite the heavy rains and the dire skies of autumn that year, it felt like the sun was finally shining in my favour. The dank birth of mould and mildew could have been over-shadowed by the fresh scent of spring leaves and flowers for all I was aware of. In fact, I might have even thought that I smelled fresh grass the day my superior delivered the news I was beginning to believe I'd never hear again.

For hours, we sat in the briefing room in regards to some wild and crazy creature that was terrorizing the people of Sector 2. It was nothing new by that time. Every time we turned around something wild and out of control was terrorizing someone or something, and most of the time it wasn't anything we couldn't handle, despite that they always made it sound like it would be the last battle any of us would ever see.

If it wasn't for my training to pay attention to every detail, I probably would have nodded off like one of the MPs beside me, or I might have even been finding more interest in the fact that there was a worm in my apple as Genesis had suddenly discovered. But as things went, I was wide awake, listening, and paying full attention to the same old droll that Angeal was listening to, along with the more dedicated soldiers that were ordered to take part in the meeting.

Near the end, Genesis lost interest in his apple and tossed it onto the lap of a sleeping soldier before picking at a loose piece of rubber on the sole of his boot, and Angeal sat there as quietly as ever while I was as ready to leave like everyone else after we were partnered the way we were always partnered—higher ranks with lower ranks.

''Ah… Babysitting…'' Genesis breathed as he followed my lead, smirked, and stood up. Then he playfully leaned closer so he could say with full and quiet confidence that, ''Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll pair you with a willing partner like the last time.''

''Laugh it up,'' I warned, before that scent of spring air came out of nowhere and my name was called by a highly ranked Official known as Lazard Deusericus.

''Sephiroth…''

Rather than replying, I simply turned to regard him, believing it was all he needed to know that he had my full attention.

''This job requires some investigation… I've already spoken with the President and he's agreed… They're sending out a few of their top Turks to lead the way. Tseng will be the one leading your party—He lived in Sector 2 for some time and knows the area well.''

I'd been to Sector 2 more times than I could count and was sure I knew the area as well as anybody who lived there, but orders were orders, and Turks getting in our way didn't seem like an inconvenience that was going to disappear anytime soon, not to mention that the name of a certain 'tonberry' was a welcoming sign for my chance to finally get some answers. As a result, I waited for him to grab his files and Genesis waited patiently by the door for me while suspiciously staring at me through the corner of his eye.

''I believe you've met him,'' Deusericus said as he wryly smirked like he knew something while he brushed a golden lock of his bang from obscuring his expensive glasses, and from that point on, the rest of what he said went in one ear and out the other. There was only one Tseng that I knew of in the Turks, and if looks could have killed, Genesis' glare would have burned a hole right through my head.

Luckily, it was that same bitter antagonism of his that repetitively drilled the rendezvous point into me afterwards, which I was both irritated by and thankful for due to the fact that I completely blanked out on what my superior was telling me after he mentioned Tseng's name.

_Finally, _I thought. _Let's see how you weasel your way out of this one, Tonberry…_

* * *

><p>After what seemed like the longest trip of my life, I finally arrived in Midgar from Junon. Tseng had been promoted since I last saw him and rumour had it that he'd joined one of the local temples that worshipped the Ancients. He never struck me as a man of faith and I figured I'd definitely have to see it to believe it, and as fate would have it, he even went so far as to have the mark of his faith tattooed as a small dot just above the centre of his eyebrows.<p>

That wasn't the only reason I went against my orders and went straight to Midgar instead of Sector 2 though. The main reason was because they sent me early and told me that I might as well pass my time while I waited for the 'Turk' to show up.

''You can stay where you want… Midgar, Sector 2, or hang out at the dives in Wall Market for all that matters, Sephiroth. Just remember not to be late for your rendezvous. Word has it that this particular turk is a real piece of work and has a low tolerance for tardiness,'' Deusericus told me, and I did all I could to hide the amused smirk on my face when I wondered exactly what he would do to punish me if I was 'tardy'.

Would he spank me?

Needless to say, the first thing I did when I arrived in Midgar was catch the train to the Shinra tower. I wanted to see him so that I could confront him. On what exactly I was planning on confronting him about though, I wasn't too sure. All I really knew was that I needed to see him so that I could agitate him in some way, or perhaps—more accurately—hurt him in the same way that he'd hurt me.

Maybe I just wanted to make him feel the way he made me feel—humiliated.

With each step that I took as I walked down that seemingly long hall in the tower, that strange feeling that appeared in my gut whenever he was near grew. I didn't know if it was anticipation, anger, a strange nervous feeling that I was unfamiliar with, or if it was just my imagination.

I decided at the time to go with the latter until I finally made it closer to his office and saw him talking to some redheaded male that I was positive was in Soldier almost a year ago. They stood outside his door; he smiled at some joke, and then the redhead walked away while Tseng took a moment to let his eyes inconspicuously fall to the back side of the other man in a manner of approval.

At that moment, the sensation in my gut grew stronger and my steps grew more cautious. Time seemed slower than usual when he turned around and walked into his office and I approached his door to stand there, suddenly speechless, before I finally slowly purred under my breath in a manner of accusation that, ''You never returned my calls.''

He brushed the comment aside though, and merely responded that, ''We were supposed to meet in Sector 2.''

''I wasn't sure that I could rely on that happening,'' I coldly replied, before I looked down the hall at the redhead and wondered aloud while nodding in his direction, ''Do you return his calls?''

''What?''

''Your new friend… Is that why you can't be bothered talking to me?''

''Leviathan,'' Tseng muttered. Then he walked to his door and closed it before he had a second thought and opened it again. Then he looked down the hall before he glared at me and retorted as if he was angry about something, ''That man, you idiot, works under me.''

''I bet you like that.''

''Leviathan, Seph, if all you wanted to do was talk nonsense, I'm glad I never answered your calls.''

''So you admit that you've been avoiding me.''

''Yes,'' he casually answered, ''And up until now, I've been rather successful at it. Not that it would matter, because in two days, I'm not going to have the choice.''

''Oh,'' I sarcastically purred back to him, ''So you had nothing to do with this unfortunate turn of fate for yourself?''

''Of course not!'' he suddenly snapped. Then he almost slammed the door before he caught himself at the last second and quietly closed it while softly laughing out, ''I'm beginning to believe you really are the perfect paradigm of 'dumb soldier'.''

''If you really felt that lowly of me, you never would have asked me to—''

''You're absolutely right, Seph,'' Tseng interjected. Then he snickered and lowered his voice while leaning closer to me, ''You have me all figured out, don't you?''

All and all, I'll admit that I wasn't expecting him to agree and I had already prepared myself for his abrasive temper. This though, I wasn't prepared for and he took me off guard, another admiral quality of his that no one else was able to do with me.

In fact, I prided myself on my exceptional ability to anticipate the actions of others, and there he was, once again, tearing down my ego by simply agreeing with me.

''You smug bastard,'' I replied.

''Don't call me that, Seph,'' he casually responded, ''It's a tasteless label.''

''Bastard?''

''Yes,'' he confirmed, and I suddenly realised that no other 'label' ever seemed to bother him. So why this one?

Despite my obvious curiosity, he chose to ignore the topic I suddenly found intriguing. It was another piece of the puzzle that would eventually make up the whole of the man, and he merely let his eyes wander down my chest with an overly obvious appreciation before he stepped even closer and ran his fingers through a lock of silver hair that was hanging over my chest.

''I'm sure that you're more than aware of how much I appreciate your unique appearance,'' he told me, almost too sweetly that I should have been on my guard, ''In fact, your vanity aside, I must admit that you're exceptionally pleasing to my palette.''

Then he walked his fingers down my chest and smirked at the fact that I was an obvious tool for him to play with, ''In fact, I'm sure that you'd love me to teach you a few things as much as I'd love to teach them to you,'' and without expecting it, he roughly grabbed me by my shoulder, spun me around, and smashed my forehead into the wall.

_Tonberry!_

As a response, I quickly grabbed the hilt of my sword and spun around so that I could glare at the miserable little snake before I sliced him in two for being such an asshole.

''Don't even think about it!'' he snapped, and like a well-trained soldier, I removed my hand from the hilt and continued to glare at him while he smugly adjusted his jacket and opened his door so that he could show me the way out by a simple hand gesture.

''Consider that Lesson 1, Seph. Now get out of my office.''

''With pleasure.''

''Very good,'' he replied, and as I walked by he formally reminded me of our scheduled rendezvous, ''Six-hundred hours, Seph. Sector 2—be there on time… Oh… And wear a damned shirt.''

_Up yours._

* * *

><p>Six-hundred hours came and like the good little soldier that I was, I was there, waiting, and like the typical man that I was, I refused to wear a shirt simply on principle. It may have been defiance, or something darker inside of me that I was barely aware of that brought out a rebellious streak in me, and either way, I gave it as little thought as I gave to the fact that I was standing alone in one of the Sectors where Shinra was as hated as the monsters we protected them from.<p>

It was also more than obvious that I was a Soldier and that Soldiers were known to serve Shinra without question, we were known to quiet those that opposed it, and we were known to die for Shinra should the need arise.

Needless to say, we weren't liked and I was pretty much fodder for the taking.

It mattered little though. Despite the fact that I was more than capable of handling myself, our devotion blinded us enough to believe that we were there for them, despite what their conspiracy theories had to say about it and most of it struck us as unprecedented paranoia anyway.

''Ah… Seph. There you are.''

''You're late,'' I pointed out. Then I opened my phone and showed him the time as proof. He was three minutes late and I ignored the fact that he looked like he'd seen better days. He could have been attacked by a horde of angry terrorists and had a genuine reason for it and I wouldn't have cared. It was nothing compared to the fact that 'Mr. Perfect' wasn't on time.

He even gave me the excuse that I had already expected. ''There was a problem with some terrorists,'' he explained as he wiped some dust from his sleeve and then rubbed at a spot of blood on his cuff while refusing to look at the phone. Then he sighed as he looked at my chest in disdain and motioned for me to follow him. ''Shinra suspects that we may be here for days. I've taken the liberty of renting two rooms.''

''As far apart as possible, I bet,'' I interjected and sarcastically smirked when he more or less agreed that I wasn't too far from the truth.

''Unfortunately, the only available rooms were adjoining. So no, they're not as far apart as I would have liked.''

''I thought we were friends.''

''Things change.''

''Is that another lesson?''

''Consider it a free and painless one Seph. You'll get over it.''

He was wrong though. I doubted I'd ever get over it as I followed him like an obedient little puppet on strings and wondered if he'd ever accept the same excuse he gave if it was me that was late. I also couldn't help but notice the bitter undertone in which his last sentence was spoken in. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that he was speaking from experience in regards to the direction our supposed friendship had taken.

However, all in all, the mission wound up going smoother than I expected. We kept ourselves busy and as the days went by, things between us seemed to go smoother. He became more relaxed as the work became more intense, and I became more curious as to what I could do to lessen the rift between us.

Personal agendas aside though, I had to admit that I was just as curious about the creature we were hunting as he was. It was elusive; it left no trail, and according to anyone that claimed they'd seen it, it was about the width of three strong men, and about three times as tall.

''Leviathan,'' Tseng muttered as he went through the scattered papers across his bed and drank his wine, ''according to half of these people, the thing is red, and according to the other half, it's black.''

''Let's not forget those that told us it was blue,'' I reminded him, half-joking and half as confused and frustrated as he was, despite the fact that he completely overlooked the 'joking' part and frowned.

''Come here for a minute,'' he said and waved me over to the bed.

''Why?''

''I want you to take a look at these pictures and files and see if you can see something I'm not seeing.''

''Despite the fact that I'm a dumb soldier?''

''Seph…''

_Fine, _I figured, recognizing the fact that he was in no mood for playing games and I went through the paperwork with him. It was no help though. Descriptions of the thing were as scattered as the accounts, and most of them were from homeless drunks that Tseng openly suspected were collaborating to make a joke out of Shinra.

''Why?'' I asked, and silently watched as he brushed the question aside, sighed, took a drink, and then he casually muttered, ''because there will always be people that have a problem with authority.''

''Even if it's there to help them?''

''Hm,'' he thoughtfully muttered, and then he ran his eyes over the papers scattered between us. ''Some believe otherwise.''

''What do you believe?''

''The same as you,'' he answered, and then he reluctantly added, ''I suppose,'' and got up to dump the rest of his drink outside the door while attentively watching the surroundings outside.

''And what do you know of my beliefs?''

''I don't know,'' he quietly muttered. ''I suppose… all lofty ideals come at a price,'' and then he silenced me when I went to speak again, readied his gun, and whispered, ''Something's out there,'' and immediately I was at his side and ready.

Sector 2 was unusually quiet since we arrived and Tseng concluded that it meant one of two things. It was either because two representatives of Shinra were present, or because the stories of the elusive creature had the entire Sector spooked.

Either way, his attentiveness was as sharp as ever and there was something in the air that was bothering him.

''Nine years ago,'' he explained without taking his attention from his surroundings as he stepped outside and I followed, ''I moved here from Wutai.''

''So you _are_ Wutian.''

''Only half,'' he informed.

''What's the other half?'' I curiously asked, somewhat excited over the fact that I was about to have an answer for Genesis and myself over the mystery of his origin, but all he said in return was that, ''That's none of your concern,'' and he quietly closed the door behind us.

''Regardless, I lived here for some time and I've spent a lot of time here since then, and I'm confident in saying that I've gotten to know the area quite well.'' Then he paused for a brief moment and stared off towards the outskirts of sector 2. ''I know every monument, every building, every ruin, and nearly every sound that this 'bustling' place is capable of making.

''There,'' he said, and pointed in the direction that he wanted me to focus on and loaded what looked like specialised bullets into his gun. ''Those ruins—do you see them?''

''Yes.''

''The tall piece in the middle doesn't belong.''

''You know what this thing is, don't you,'' I finally concluded.

''All either of us needs to know is that we need to bring it in alive.''

And before he had the chance to say anything else, whatever he was drawing my attention to disappeared and reappeared in front of us faster than anything I'd ever seen.

It knocked Tseng onto his back and towered over him like a mammoth while I pulled out my sword and struck at thin air.

Somewhere along the line, Tseng cursed out ''Damn it!'' and I yelled out, ''Where did it go?''

Shortly after, I saw it in the distance and started on my pursuit while leaving Tseng behind. Through the streets, I followed. It would appear; I would strike. It would strike; I would evade, and then it would disappear again. To date, I'd never seen nor fought anything so elusive and it was beginning to frustrate me.

No matter how well I gauged its movements against my own, it still managed to strike before I was able to strike back, and it seemed to be able to avoid nearly every strike I attempted except for the last one.

Its screech was ear-piercing as I finally felt my sword meet flesh before it disappeared again. For a moment, I stood there dumbfounded and in awe until I suddenly remembered that I left Tseng by himself and the sound of gunshots began to echo through the streets.

''Humph.''

In my mind, I didn't move as fast as I felt I could have. I quickly sheathed my sword and ran. I ran for what felt like too long despite the fact that no fatigue kicked in. By the time I arrived, Tseng was thrown onto his back again and his gun was some distance from him. All he had for defence was a hunting knife and a look of extreme discomfort while I wondered why he wasn't moving as the creature stood over him and all hope looked as though it were lost.

Again, my sword was out and I commenced with the hopeless battle as the creature anticipated each of my attacks until it finally disappeared again and I ran to Tseng's side.

''What's wrong?'' I asked, and he grunted with a nod to his leg and painfully breathed out, ''I think it's broken.''

''I thought you had Restore Materia.''

''My gloves,'' He grunted out, ''Inside… didn't anticipate trouble when I opened the door.''

''Mm,'' I mumbled, remembering the course of events clearly and silently agreeing, so I offered to use my own to help him and he shook his head.

''It needs to be re-set first,'' he grunted out.

''I know that,'' I explained, ''It's why I _offered_ first.''

At that, he nodded, I knelt down, and he braced himself while I felt his leg for the break and gave it as quick of a jerk as I could to set it back in place and he let out a suppressed grunt before I muttered out, ''Cure2,'' in hopes that it would work gently enough.

He may have been a stubborn man, but he was by no means invincible, and I waited while he fought off the urge to scream and I winced at the expression of pain on his face.

It was strange. I never would have been squeamish with another soldier. I would have set it and cured it, and it would have been done with. I probably would have even walked away and expected him to follow me, but it wasn't like that with Tseng. Instead, I almost felt his pain and felt ill over it. I even went so far as to help him up and aided him back to his room while he protested and claimed that he was fine.

I reasoned that it was because he wasn't a soldier. Maybe our training made us more sensitive to what we viewed as weaker. Or maybe it was simply because I knew that my mission was to escort and protect the Turk while he did his job and I knew I'd have to answer to my superiors if anything went wrong.

Regardless of the reason, I helped him sit on the edge of his bed and he grimaced as he sat down. Then I handed him an elixir for the pain and sat beside him while he accepted it.

''Have you ever seen anything like that before?'' he asked, and I shook my head.

''No,'' I answered, ''It anticipated every move.''

''No it didn't,'' he responded, and then he grimaced again as he set the empty vial on the bed-side table and motioned to my sword, ''There's blood on your blade.''

''Yes,'' I agreed and pulled it out to study it.

''If it anticipated all of your moves, you never would have gotten it.''

''True… And if it bleeds,'' I concluded as I studied the sticky patches on the blade, ''It can be killed.''

''That would be my assumption,'' he said as he moved closer and pushed my sword aside while wryly commenting at why I'd need such a long sword and I merely shrugged as an answer.

''I happen to like it.''

''It looks Wutian.''

''To be honest, I have no idea what its origin is.''

''Curious,'' he muttered, and took a moment to study it before setting it beside us, ''Did someone give it to you?''

''Hojo.''

''He seems to have an interest in you.''

''He was involved in the project for my enhancements.''

''Ah, yes,'' he mused as he continued to curiously regard the sword, ''The 'Super Soldier' of the future—I have to admit that the three of you are impressive… Tell me something.''

''What?''

''How does it make you feel?'' he asked, and then he turned his curious attention back to me as if the incident in my apartment with him never took place, ''Knowing that you're not…''

''The same as you?'' I guessed, and then it was my turn to study him back as his eyes wandered over my torso and he dared to run his hand over the leather straps across my chest before settling on my sheath.

''I suppose you could put it that way,'' he said, ''The three of you have never really been exposed to the real world since you were recruited. You're basically perfect in every way. Yet you really have no… 'Social' exposure, for lack of a better word.''

''We socialise,'' I said in an attempt to defend myself as he sarcastically met my eyes.

''Really?''

''Yes.''

''That's strange.''

''What?''

''Because the three of you strike me as being somewhat socially awkward.''

Then it was my turn to sarcastically ask, ''Really?''

''Yes,'' he honestly responded. ''Genesis only knows of the books he reads, mindlessly reciting them over and over, Angeal only speaks of honour as if it's a rehearsed response, and you… Well, you seem to be the most confusing.''

''Oh?'' I asked, suddenly intrigued by what a 'man of the world' would have to say about my 'social' behaviour, ''And how am I confusing?''

''Well, you're well-read like Genesis and seem to possess the strength of honour that Angeal exhibits, but you also seem to get out a lot more than either of your friends. In fact, your reputation as a… provocative and… _appealing_ male towards other males exceeds you.''

''So you're calling me a slut,'' I concluded. Yet oddly, none of it came across as offensive.

''I wouldn't put it so boldly,'' he responded. ''But yes, I suppose—in a roundabout way—that I'm saying you're of a promiscuous nature.''

''Is that why you ran out on me?''

''Mm,'' he muttered and simply placed the palm of his hand against my chest while his eyes fell to the same area. ''I believe we've completely gone off topic.''

''No,'' I answered. ''We've simply gone back to the question that I've wanted answered since you ran out.''

''Manipulative too,'' he muttered and looked to the side as if he was storing the information in his mental filing cabinet. He almost reminded me of Hojo when he'd take mental notes about me. ''Well, if you must have me spell it out to you for the umpteenth time, I _left_ because what we did was a mistake. I had a little too much to drink, and yes, I'll admit that I find you attractive.

''I believe that denying that fact to you would simply go noticed for the lie that you'd recognise it as. You're sharp, intuitive, observant, and… Well, you've managed to figure a few things out about me that I would have preferred were left unnoticed, but I can't deny that now.

''On the other hand, you seem to have a blatant disregard for the fact that I've chosen my path and wish to stay on it. I've chosen to marry and have a family—something that I don't think you're capable of understanding or appreciating, and I walked out on you because after all was said and done, what we did was wrong.''

''I get that part,'' I answered. ''What I don't get is that it's taken you this long to give me an explanation.''

''Perhaps you're not as intuitive as I thought,'' he responded and quickly ran his fingers through my hair that was resting over the front of my shoulder as if he were combing it.

''Then tell me what I'm missing and quit toying with me.''

''Seph,'' he muttered, and balled up the ends of my hair into his fist, ''Again… I find you incredibly attractive,'' Then he shyly smiled and confessed that, ''And I fear that I may be having a little bit of a difficult time with that. You see,'' he explained, and then he quickly paused before continuing, ''I find you simply irresistible.''

After that, he yanked on my hair to pull me closer and kissed me with a more dominating kiss than the one I recalled from the other night, and I willingly responded before I recalled the last 'lesson' that he taught me back in his office and I suddenly wondered what 'Lesson 2' would be before I suddenly pushed him away and told him that, ''I'm not dumb enough to fall for your sick games again.''

''Fine,'' he casually responded, and then he stood up as if nothing transpired and straightened his suit while muttering that, ''It's probably for the better.'' Then he checked his gun and I suddenly realised that he wasn't playing around and inwardly cursed at myself.

Unfortunately, it was too late to rectify my own mistake and when his PHS rang, I found myself frowning as I stood up and put my sword back in its sheath while feeling as if I'd been defeated by my greatest foe as he spoke with what I could only assume was Lazard, judging by the tone of the conversation and the fact that it seemed more like a detailed report on the incident that took place outside before I blew the perfect opportunity.

After he hung up, he thoughtfully stood there and curled his finger over his mouth as if he were attempting to piece something together.

''Bad news?'' I asked.

''That depends.''

''On what?''

''On what your interpretation of bad news is…'' He sighed then, and shook his head before he returned his attention to me with a frown. ''They still want the damned thing alive.''

''I see,'' I muttered.

Then it was my turn to sigh as I walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

''I know what to do now,'' I purred at him. After that, I brought his hand to my mouth, wryly smiled at him, and kissed his fingers.

The plan seemed simple enough. I'd keep it busy and he'd use the sleepel I slipped into his hand while his fingers stretched out and lightly stroked my bottom lip. ''Use it on us both,'' I told him.

For him, being a worm on a hook was sure to get me back into his good book. It was also our best bet, and I couldn't help but suddenly conclude that I could win him over with less brawn and more wit.

After all, it seemed to be working from what I could tell by the sudden shine in his eyes and the attractive, yet subtle smile. 'Simply irresistible,' he said to me, and I wasn't about to forget that he said it.


	5. Cause and Effect

**Cause and Effect**

* * *

><p>Several weeks have gone by and Genesis and Tseng have barely managed to work out their differences. Mostly, it might have something to do with the fact that Tseng has hardly said a word and Genesis' efforts to create some kind of working harmony between them continuously backfires every time he opens his mouth and loses his temper.<p>

Most of the time, it's over the fact that Tseng responds to his insensitivity with subtle digs of his own, and other times, it appears to be a more disturbing disquiet that Genesis exhibits when Tseng is either sleeping or unaware of the bizarre inner conflict that Genesis is constantly struggling with.

Also, to top it off, Tseng became aware several days ago that Genesis has been using summon materia between them to curb or extend whatever it is that Genesis has been trying to curb or extend, and naturally, it raised Tseng's suspicions.

He started to believe that Genesis is only keeping him alive because he needs him for whatever selfish needs Genesis is tending to, and today, when Genesis left to collect wood for the fires, Tseng managed to find his way out by throwing a chair through the window after discovering that the doors were locked to keep him inside.

I suppose that the day started out well enough. The sun was shining and melting the snow into smooth ice as the water froze into small paths and trails, and all around, the landscape glowed with warmth and golden hues that lit up the mountain pines and rocky cliffs that surrounded them.

None of it went noticed to Tseng as he fell to his knees and felt the cold ground with his bare hands though, and if he were able to see it, he probably would have ignored it since his priorities had nothing to do with admiring his surroundings that day.

Basically, he'd had enough. He'd had enough of Genesis' unpredictable behaviour and suspected half-truths, and he started crawling while the clouds slowly moved in from the vast Northern Ocean that foretold of a possible storm coming their way.

For every few feet that he quickly crawls across, he takes a moment to brush the snow behind him and sit silently to listen to his surroundings with a subtle look that suggests he feels his efforts are futile at best.

However, I suppose that in his mind, anything is better than spending another day with a man that turns so sharply from one moment to the next that he'd rather face the unknown consequences of his unplanned actions, and after about an hour, the winds begin to pick up and Tseng finds himself blocked by a rock wall that's too steep to climb.

With a quick curse in Wutian, he carefully stands and starts side-stepping while feeling his way with shaking fingers that have grown numb from the Northern air. His knuckles are red and his teath are chattering while frosted black hair falls to the middle of his back and begins to freeze into solid strands.

He has no concept of time and no way to know of the darkening clouds as he continues to feel his way across the steep wall, and the growing winds are either unnoticed or ignored when he finally feels a crevice and starts to excitedly run his hands deeper into the unknown while following them as his guide.

Unfortunately, by the time he finally realises that he's found himself a cave to hide in, he hears the musical sound of Genesis' voice from inside and cringes.

"Either you're an idiot or you've completely lost your mind," Genesis says to him and shakes his head. Then he puts the wood he was carrying down and wipes his hands on his coat, "Do you know nothing of the approaching storm?"

"I'm not going back with you," Tseng insists, and all Genesis does is serenely smile at him.

"You're right about that," he agrees, and Tseng curiously cocks his head while he feels for the stone wall behind him. Then Genesis smiles again and slightly ducks to look through the opening of the cave at the darkening skies and listens to the winds picking up with a slight whistle and clarifies, "At least, for tonight… It would appear that neither of us is going anywhere."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're clearly frozen and considerably lucky if you haven't given yourself frostbite," Genesis clarifies as he walks towards Tseng and Tseng slowly sits as if it's the only defensive move he can think of, "Though, come to think of it, you've managed to survive for quite some time in the bitter cold without any repercussions…"

"I didn't survive," Tseng mutters, and Genesis stops while irritably looking down at him.

"Oh yes, the 'I'm in Hell' antics again… It's becoming tiring," Genesis lazily states as he reaches over to grab Tseng by the wrist to pull him from the corner, "Neither of us is dead."

Tseng merely scoffs at Genesis while shivering and blindly bats his hand away from him before he's yanked into Genesis' arms with a protesting grunt.

"You _need_ to warm up," Genesis tells him as he holds him close and kicks some of the wood into a small pile. Then he uses a fire spell to ignite it, "And I'm not going to risk dragging you into a storm when you're shivering like you're frozen to the core."

At that, Genesis quietly pulls Tseng closer and regards him curiously when he hears him softly mutter to himself that the consequences are more appealing than spending the rest of his life with Genesis.

Genesis inwardly sighs at the protest and runs his hand over Tseng's damp hair to stroke the frost away. Then he sits them both down while he stares into the fire with a dazed look in his eyes as if the comment actually got to him.

* * *

><p>"Sephiroth, put that thing down," Tseng lightly said as he walked up behind me and two other Turks walked by. Up ahead, there was a handful of Soldiers and Grunts scouting the outskirts of Junon that the Turks were on their way to meet, "They're dangerous."<p>

"It's just a baby," I quietly said as I held the young neroseferoth in the palm of my hand and carefully ran my finger over its underdeveloped back. It was a pale yellow cross between a lizard with bird feet and it could barely stand on its own.

"Regardless, it's sure to have an unhappy mother nearby."

With a sigh, I put it down on the ground and watched it wobble away before I turned to Tseng and had to shield my eyes from the bright setting sun behind him. "I see you finally found something to tie your hair back with," I observed while he smirked at me as I stood, "It looks good."

"I wouldn't know," he answered as he turned his attention to the others that were getting farther ahead of us, "I haven't had a chance to see it. All I know is that it was driving me crazy and luckily, Genesis had an elastic."

"Genesis?" I quizzically asked, before I shook it off and realised that it was in his nature to constantly be prepared for any pathetic demand that Tseng might have. "Well," I playfully said as I walked towards him and yanked on his tail, "Take my word for it then."

"I suppose I'll have to."

For days, we'd been scouting the area for signs of a handful of soldiers that went missing from their quarters in the middle of the night, and during the entire time, all Tseng did was grumble about how his hair was driving him crazy. He couldn't get it to stay back and he couldn't get it to do anything he wanted it to do, and all the while, he grumbled to me about how in the hell I was able to stand having my hair so long while his barely touched his shoulders.

I simply told him that it never bothered me, and he merely frowned at me like he found it hard to believe. On the bright side though, Reno allowed him to finally get it trimmed, and all I can really say about that was that I was glad he didn't get it all chopped off like he said he was going to do.

To be honest, he looked good when his hair wasn't obscuring his eyes, and he looked even better once he had it tidied up so that it hung more naturally. Yet he acted like he hated it while oddly leaving it be.

The excuse he gave was that his wife liked it, and a part of me also suspected that it was because I also liked it, though I could never be sure. Nor was I about to ask as we both stood a fair distance from the others and he playfully nudged me while drawing my attention to one of the soldiers who had his underwear sticking out of the top of his pants.

"I thought you guys were trained to take better care of yourselves," he snickered out, and then he turned his attention to my bare chest and shook his head like he suddenly saw the irony in his own words.

"I guess I could say the same about you guys then," I playfully poked back, before I nodded towards Reno's crumpled suit and unbuttoned shirt and Tseng merely curled the corner of his mouth with a knowing sense of irony.

"We're even then," he said as he nodded and watched Reno walk farther away. "Though at this point, I can honestly say that I couldn't care less about such things."

"That's right," I remembered, "You get to go home tomorrow."

"Mm… Three weeks of chasing dead ends has finally won me a vacation."

"I see you're excited," I pointed out, almost unable to hide my disappointment over the fact that we were about to be separated.

"I am," he distantly muttered. "Tomorrow, we visit my mother… It's been almost a year since she's seen us and it will be nice to spend some time with her." Then he went to brush his hair back out of habit and stopped himself while a shy smile escaped him over the fact that his hair was already tied back and it was too late to hide his own mistake.

"It must be strange going back there," I guessed, "Being with Shinra, I'd imagine a few obstacles must stand in your way."

"Yes… Well…" he quietly said as his eyes slightly darkened and he looked down in a manner of avoidance, "I rarely go into Wutai when I visit."

"So you're not really from Wutai," I said, more in a jesting manner before he looked at me and wryly curled his lips.

"The outskirts, Seph," he almost whispered to me, making me guess that he felt like the others were far enough away for him to finally shorten my name like he did whenever we were alone. "However, I rarely go dressed as a Turk when I go home."

"No harm; no foul…" I muttered and curiously studied him as he inwardly withdrew and stared into the distance at the others as they walked from our sight.

Then he subtly shivered and looked up to the darkening skies and quietly said, "The first star of the night…" while nodding to the cloudless canopy above us.

"Should we make a wish?"

"I believe that applies to a shooting star," he responded as he smirked and turned his attention to the Junon base. Then he quietly muttered, "Though I could be wrong."

After that, he shyly smiled and nudged my arm with his elbow before he started casually walking towards the base and I followed while he commented on how short the days were getting.

* * *

><p>That night, I invited him to my apartment for dinner and he brought the food and made it, "I've been looking for an excuse to try out that seafood store," he told me, "I'll buy some lobsters, and do you know a good place to get fresh pasta?"<p>

"Not really," I responded and wondered why he'd think I would when he was well-aware of the fact that I wasn't exactly the type of person that spent much time thinking about where I shopped, and then he went on about something else and changed his mind a dozen times about what he was going to buy and make.

I merely knitted my brows when he hung up and I came to the conclusion that whatever he was going to make was going to be a surprise, and then I let out a sigh as I grabbed my book from the coffee table and sat on the sofa so I could pass the time by reading until he arrived.

Needless to say, dinner was as good as he always made it. However, in my opinion, he always went a little overboard to boast about how good of a cook he was in comparison to me and I merely smiled as we sat across from each other and he told me something funny that he'd done that day.

"Of course…" he started, "I had to cover it up."

"Of course you did," I replied as I sat there and wondered if anyone he worked with ever suspected half of the things he did.

Then I grabbed our plates and walked to the sink and started rinsing them off before I heard him get up and stand behind me while I commented on the fact that, "You know this is the last night we'll be spending together for some time…"

"I was thinking the same thing," he replied before I felt him come closer and subtly run his fingers over my hair, causing a strange chill to pass while I pretended not to notice.

"Oh?" I asked, barely able to control my wandering thoughts as I turned around to meet those intense eyes that peered at me with an impish glint shining behind them. Then I wryly smiled and leaned against the counter before coolly asking, "Is that all that's on your mind?"

He merely snorted while half-smiling and twirled his finger into the lock of my hair I didn't realise he was holding. Then he turned his attention to it and brushed the tip against his lips and quirked his brow. "You don't have a single split end," he observed as if he was curious over the fact. Then he turned his attention back to me and factually stated that, "I must admit that the more I get to know you, the more curious I become."

After that, he flicked my hair at me and walked back to the table to pick up his glass and stare at the contents while swirling it as if he was lost in his thoughts, and I turned around to finish rinsing the plates. "Is it because of what you are?" he asked, and I found myself pausing after I set the plates on the counter and stared at the wall.

"What?"

"Your nails never break; you have no calluses," he stated, and I suddenly found myself looking down at them as they rested over the sink. "You never catch a cold… You heal incredibly fast and your hair—for as long as it is—is in perfect condition…"

At that, I found myself winding my own hair around my finger and staring at the ends like he was. To be honest, I never really thought about it before and I shrugged. "Perhaps I just take care of myself," I sarcastically muttered, suddenly curious about the things he was bringing to my attention.

"Mm," he thoughtfully muttered and swirled his drink again as I turned around to study him back. Then he took a fair sip and frowned." You do, however, tend to get vertigo quite easily…"

"Vertigo?" I asked as he put his glass back down and lightly circled his fingers over the rim in a way that made me feel slightly dizzy.

"Or is it headaches?" he asked as he studied me and took note of the way I suddenly rubbed at my temple, "You do that quite often."

"Do what?"

"What you're doing right now," he observed and motioned his hand to me before I realised what I was doing and I quickly dropped my hand to rest on the counter and tapped my fingers as if I was suddenly trying to think of a way to hide something I did wrong.

"Dizzy… mostly," I reluctantly confessed, and he curiously tilted his head and crookedly smiled.

"So…" he coyly started, "Perfection has its flaws…"

Then he full-out smiled and quickly picked his glass back up to take another sip while I stood there and stared at him in confusion before I quickly snorted and suddenly suspected, "Is that what you've been doing with me all this time?"

"Pardon?" he light-heartedly asked and lazily blinked at me.

"Studying me?"

"Leviathan," he snickered out, "You're incredibly sensitive for such a calculated soldier."

Well, to be quite frank, I couldn't help but feel like nearly everything he did when he was around me was something to set me up or to test my reactions. I couldn't help but feel like he was studying me half the time. It's something that had been done to me all my life and I could easily say that I wasn't fond of it.

Then again, I could have easily been jumping to that conclusion because it _was_ basically the story of my life up to that point, and I found myself second guessing myself.

He also might have noticed the quiet reflection I was suddenly in because he took another sip and swirled the contents again before he factually told me while staring at me the entire time, "I can't help but be curious about you Seph."

After that, he put his glass down and let out a heavy sigh, "I've never met anyone like you." Then he looked down at the table and put his glass down before quietly muttering, "I've offended you without meaning to… Perhaps I should go."

_Offended me…?_

I couldn't help but wonder why he was suddenly concerned about offending me all of the sudden and I merely stood there and watched him grab his coat while keeping his head down and I realised that I didn't want him leaving just yet. At least, not in the strange way that he was doing it in.

"Wait…" I quietly said and fought the urge to rub at my temple again when a slight dizziness hit me and I tried to quickly think of something I could say without sounding desperate or whatever it might wrongly come across as, "I'm… not offended…"

"That's a relief… but it's late," he said as he turned around with his coat folded over his clasped hands and smirked at me. Then his look turned somewhat concerned when he watched me subtly shake my head to clear it out and he quickly put his coat down and walked up to me. Then he stopped dead when I looked at him and grimaced over a sudden pain that shot through my temples when I attempted to push him away to let him know I was fine.

"Seph…?" he cautiously asked, making me feel somewhat alarmed when I noticed the look in his eyes when he stood back and stared at me with a look that resembled something between someone giving their condolence and someone witnessing something horrific.

"Your eyes…" he said and he cautiously reached towards me when I outwardly grimaced and closed them tight while falling to my knees from the excruciating pain I was feeling. It was a piercing pain that moved from my temples to my eyes and I wound up grunting before I instinctively pressed my palms to them to try and relieve myself from the agony.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. Or at least that's what I think he muttered. It was hard to tell since a lulling voice swam through my head and made everything else sound muffled, and I think he might have called someone on the phone and urgently told them to do something.

By that time, I felt like I was burning up inside and the pain grew worse. It became so fierce that I think I might have tried to pull my own eyes out to make it stop while I let out a shrieking growl.

"Damn it…! Sephiroth!"

The next thing I knew, he was on top of me and struggling with me, trying to pry my hands away from my eyes while I cried out and tried to struggle free so I could relieve myself from the pain.

Then I heard other voices and some kind of commotion before I felt something prick my arm while Tseng frantically barked orders at someone.

* * *

><p>I figured I must have passed out or something, because when I regained consciousness, I heard a faint beeping and went to sit up before I dizzily fell back and shielded my eyes from the blurry lights in the room.<p>

"What happened?" I huskily asked as I heard someone shuffling nearby before my eye was pried open and a glaring light was painfully shone into it.

"Magnificent…" came a familiar voice that sounded like it was thinking out loud, "Curious… How does it feel?"

"Like someone drugged me…" I groggily responded before the light was pulled away and Hojo adjusted his glasses while nodding.

"No pain?" he asked as I tried to sit up again, though more carefully than my first attempt and he quickly turned his attention to the machine nearby as if he was unconcerned with my effort.

"No," I answered, and looked down at the tag around my wrist while wondering how long I was out for before I asked again, "what happened?'

"The optic nerve and the sclera deteriorated at an alarming rate, causing the pupils to close and the cornea to react in a curious way."

"What?" I asked, completely unaware of what the hell he was talking about.

"It's almost as if your eyes decided to completely rebuild themselves… Strange that they seem perfectly fine now, except for their appearance," he mused as if he was talking more to himself than to me.

Then he held his pen in front of my face and asked me to follow its movement as if there was nothing concerning about what he was saying.

"What's wrong with my eyes?" I asked as I brushed his pen away in a semblance of stating I was refusing to cooperate until he told me what the hell was going on.

"Nothing," he casually told me, almost sounding irritated by the question. "They appear better than they've ever been… The rest of us can only _wish _that we were as lucky!"

"Lucky as what?" I demanded as I went to get out of the bed so I could see for myself and he pushed me back while telling me that I was clearly overreacting. Then he scoffed and turned his back to me while walking away and perplexedly asking, "Must you _always_ be so difficult?"

After that, he decided to ramble on about how lucky the world was that he existed and how we'd all probably shrivel and die if it wasn't for his impeccable ability to see things for what they really were.

"Even _Hollander_ couldn't figure out what was going on!" he stated, and then he took a moment to cackle over how stupid Hollander was. "What a tool…" he laughed out and then he turned around and frowned at me when I asked him again.

"_What_ happened?"

"Must you look so dire?" he perplexedly asked; once again, avoiding the question as if it were beneath him to answer it, "Really Sephiroth, you should be rejoicing!"

"Rejoicing over _what_?" I angrily asked as he cackled again and shook his head as if he thought I was making a big deal out of nothing, and it made me realise that sometimes, I kind of hated Hojo.

I realised that he went out of his way to take me under his wing and I was thankful for that, but there were times that I almost loathed him and his self-centred belief that he was a god among peons.

"Do you realise that I went out of my way to come here when I heard you were injured?" he screeched, "I was in the middle of a very _time -_sensitive observation and I had to drop _everything_ just to make sure I could get here on time so that these…" he bewilderingly explained as he waved his hand at the wall that separated us from the hall, "these _imbeciles _didn't… Just think of how concerned I was only to find out that nothing was wrong with you!"

"It sure as hell felt like something was wrong," I grumbled as I let out a heavy sigh and flicked at the tag around my wrist. Then I let my head fall back while thinking how _awful_ it must have been for him to rush here only to find out that he wasted his time.

"You clearly overreacted to the situation, Sephiroth!" he told me as he came back and injected me with something that he probably wasn't going to tell me about and I found myself staring at the metal rail on the bed.

Then I rubbed the prints from however many hands had grabbed it and leaned closer to see if I could see for myself.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to see what you're going on about," I said before he pushed me back and scoffed again.

"Well, you're not going to see anything on that filthy thing!" he told me before he walked over to the cupboard and grabbed a small mirror from it and nearly threw it onto my lap like the gesture was a great inconvenience to him.

Then he left while babbling away that since there was _obviously _nothing wrong with me that he could get back to more important things that required his attention, and I merely stared at my eyes in the reflection and silently panicked.

"No…" I hoarsely whispered as my hand fluttered to my cheek and I forgot to breathe. "No-no-no…" I continued as I hopped off the bed and dragged the tangled sheet with me to the bathroom to see another mirror in hopes that there was something wrong with the one I was holding.

All the while, the only thought that ran through my head was, _Tseng… He'll freak out!_ And when the mirror in the bathroom offered no sympathy to my need for denial, I wound up grabbing a nearby stand and throwing it at it.

Then I tore the tag from my wrist and ran out of the room in the direction that Hojo had left in while a handful of orderlies chased me down.

I never got very far though, because someone got the bright idea to use a spell on me that I probably would have been able to identify if I wasn't in the state I was in, and I wound up turning around and casting a devastating level three ice spell down the hall while wishing I had my sword so I could hack everything to pieces.

That was, until I heard Hojo running down the hall towards me and yelling, "This is not the time!" or something similarly peculiar and I either fell asleep or someone knocked me out.

* * *

><p>The remainder of my stay in the hospital was fairly short. Hojo had me drugged with something that kept me unusually calm for the brief moments I was awake and I wound up coming to terms with the fact that I was stuck with my new appearance whether I liked it or not.<p>

I thought that maybe it was a dream at first, but when I saw myself again, I realised that I wasn't nearly as lucky as Hojo believed I was, and as I made it home and stood in my bathroom while staring in the mirror at my pale green eyes, a pair of foreign and inhuman eyes stared back at me.

They were still green, but they were yellower and the pupils had changed. They were no longer round like everyone else's. Instead, they were narrow like a cat's, and I opened the drawer without looking and felt for the pair of scissors that I knew I kept in there while deciding that if I couldn't change it; then maybe I could at least hide it.

Then I pulled my hair forward over my face and made a broad and crooked cut before I cringed at the sound of someone eagerly knocking at my door.

Without thinking, I mindlessly cursed to myself and then slammed the scissors down like I couldn't have possibly been any more inconvenienced than I already was. Then I stormed over to the door and opened it only to suddenly panic when I saw who was on the other side and I immediately slammed it shut in his face.

"Sephiroth!" he yelled, and pounded on my door again, "Sephiroth…! Open the door!"

"Go away!"

"Sephiroth… I know what happened… Just open the door so that I can see you in person."

"I don't want you to," I admitted, hoping that he'd simply listen, but I should have known better, and the longer I waited for him to disappear, the longer he stood out there and stared at the peep-hole I finally decided to look through.

"I'm not going anywhere until you open the door," he factually said, possibly knowing I was looking at him because he had that look that I couldn't quite put into words, except to say that he looked agitated and about as stubborn as he usually did, and I wound up frowning before I lowered my head and opened it no more than a crack.

"I thought you were going to Wutai…" I finally said as I hid behind the door and he let out a heavy sigh.

"That was the plan," he admitted, and then he patiently stood there and quietly stated, "But plans change."

"Won't your wife be angry?"

"She's always angry," he carelessly confessed. Then he sighed and told me that, "She decided she'd go alone… with Saity. Apparently, there was no need to punish my mother since my work is only important to me and not them."

Saity was his daughter, and I knowingly bit on my bottom lip before I opened the door farther and stayed behind it so that he could at least come in, and then he gently closed the door and I closed my eyes while lowering my head and asked, "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I couldn't go after what happened," he thoughtfully said, and then he let out another heavy sigh and I felt him grab at the hair I just cut before I jerked my head farther away. "Seph…" he thoughtfully said while he gently put his fingers under my chin and tilted my face towards him, "Open your eyes so I can see what everyone is talking about."

It felt like a long minute. Though it might have been shorter until I hesitantly opened my eyes and reluctantly looked at him while he looked like he was holding his breath and commented on the fact that, "Leviathan… They were right… You have incredibly long lashes."

Then he snickered and lightly smacked my face, and I opened them more before I hesitantly asked, "It doesn't bother you?"

All he did was tilt his head as he studied them, and then he quirked his brow and mentioned that they looked like a cat's as if it were no big deal. After that, he flicked at my attempt to create a long bang and said that he liked cats. However, "Your _bang_ looks terrible."

Then he told me to sit at the kitchen chair and he started digging through my drawers while I pulled out a chair and sat down like I was in a daze.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for a pair of scissors," he detachedly told me, and then I asked why. "Well… for starters, you can't be expected to run around with your hair like that. It's bad enough that you run around half-dressed all the time."

"So I take it appearance is all that matters to you," I sarcastically commented, almost taken aback by the fact that he felt like chastising me over the way I dressed when there was more important things on my mind at the time.

"It looks ridiculous."

"It's the least of my concerns," I admitted, and he simply closed the drawer he was digging through and turned around to look down at me and frown.

Then he sighed again and set his sight on the bathroom and started walking towards it while telling me that, "I can't imagine what you're going through right now…

"I can only assume that you must be frightened or in shock."

"You seem to be dealing with it just fine," I dumbly observed as I stared at the floor and he found the scissors and honestly responded as he came back out.

"Well," he started, and quirked his brow as he stood in front of me and placed his fingers under my chin to tilt my head towards him, "I'm not the one that needs to deal with it."

Then he combed the front strands of my hair over my face with the comb he also grabbed and started trimming up what I'd already started while I quizzically stated that, "I thought it would bother you."

I already knew how he reacted to most things that seemed odd. He never outwardly appeared to let it bother him, but it generally did, and he merely shrugged before he quietly admitted that, "It looks odd, but I doubt it's something I can't get used to."

After that, he made a few more snips and then he shook his hand through my hair and pulled another chair out and sat at the table while confessing, "To be honest with you Seph, there are a lot of things I find odd about you… You and your friends are basically a perversion of nature."

"Oh… Thanks," I sarcastically mumbled before I turned in my seat and curiously stared at him as he stared at the table.

"No…" he said, "Don't take it the wrong way… It's just that… Well, you're basically everything that we're not supposed to be—most soldiers are," he admitted as he quirked his brow again and turned his attention over to me but kept his attention from my eyes when he spoke. "But you three… You're beyond even that.

"I'm not trying to sound condescending—"

"But you are," I stated, and he merely smiled and quickly nodded at the fact.

"Okay…" he uncomfortably started, and then he let out a heavy sigh and said that, "I'm _trying_ to make sense out of everything right now…" He lowered his head then and stared at his fingers while they tapped on the surface. "Basically, the three of you are experimental, and it goes without question that… _things_ are going to happen to you that don't normally happen…"

Then he turned his attention back to me and avoided my eyes again while sympathetically stating that, "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that maybe you should be thankful that this is the worst thing that's happened to you."

"You've seen something, haven't you," I suddenly suspected before he turned his attention back to the table and he looked at his fingers again, and I suddenly realised that, "We're not the only ones… are we?"

"I should go," he suddenly said and stood up. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder and uncomfortably stated that, "All I can really say is that I doubt Shinra would have stopped after it was deemed that the three of you were a success… I would even imagine that it might make sense to attempt to take it further. However, I never said that I know anything for sure."

"So where are the others?" I asked, not really to him but to the question in general, and he merely stiffened before he rustled my hair again and said that, "You should go and see how your bangs look… Despite that massive cowlick in the front, it doesn't look half-bad."

I couldn't help but feel like he was changing the subject, and I merely shrugged like I really didn't care about my bangs before I suddenly remembered that I had something of his in my bedroom.

He bolted out so fast the night that we spent together that I didn't even notice until a couple of days later when I went to vacuum my room and I found the small cufflink under my bed. It struck me as expensive and important to him, but I never knew how to bring it up since I decided to avoid the topic at all costs.

Our friendship had finally gotten back to that stage that it was at before I decided to destroy it. In fact, it had even gone further in my mind, and he even slipped a few times to where it seemed like he wanted to take things further even though he compulsively changed his mind at the last second.

I did nothing to change it though, despite how much I wanted to. Instead, I decided that the next step would have to be his to take if I was ever going to get that close to him and keep it that way, and so far, it seemed to be working in my favour, regardless of how slow the progress appeared.

And I wound up telling him when he patted me on the shoulder and stated that since I appeared to be feeling better that maybe it was time for him to go, "Wait… I have something of yours."

"What?" he asked, and I mentioned that it was in the bedroom. He merely looked at me with a quirked brow as if he was suddenly thinking that he thought I was trying to lure him into my room and I quickly stood up while telling him I'd get it.

"Stay right there," I told him as I quickly walked into my room and he followed like he was too curious over what it was, and then I went straight to my dresser and pulled it off the top and held it towards him.

"My cufflink," he observed, and then he admitted that, "I was afraid this was where it was."

"You could have asked," I offered, and quickly pulled it from his reach when he went to grab it.

"I was embarrassed, Seph," he confessed, and then he frowned at me when I playfully smiled at him. "Are you going to give it back to me?"

"Say please," I toyed and wobbled my closed fist to emphasise that it was mine until he showed the same respect he expected from everyone else.

"Sephiroth," he sternly said, and gave me a chastising look that excited me a little more than I think it was intended to, "Rufus bought those for me as a wedding gift and I had to hide the fact that I lost them—quit toying around."

"I'm not playing," I playfully told him, "All you have to do is say one simple little word."

"Sephiroth!"

At that, he went to grab my wrist and I quickly pulled it away while reminding him that what he had to do was so simple that there was no excuse for him to not do it.

"I take it you're feeling better," he grumbled as he tried to grab it again and I quickly held my wrist up as high as I could.

He was able to reach my wrist but he was unable to get me to budge while I playfully purred out, "Ooh," and stroked his back without him noticing when he pressed himself against me to try and get some leverage. Then he roughly pushed me and I grabbed onto him out of nothing more than reflex and we both wound up on the bed.

For a moment, he merely stared down at me and I guiltily let go of the cufflink and offered it to him before I put our friendship in danger again, and he seemed to completely forget about it, or so I guessed, because the way that he kissed me seemed as though he suddenly had something else in mind…

* * *

><p><em>Ahhh…<em>

It was deep…

So deep, the way he pushed himself inside as if he wanted to climb in and become one.

His hands dominated and he stayed on top while he pushed my wrists into the bed and suffocated me with that intoxicating hunger that made my head swim, and ironically, I think the cufflink rolled under the bed again when I let go of it in surprise.

Conflicting thoughts clashed in my mind while I wondered if I should allow him to continue or if I should avoid the consequences before he let go and pushed on my shoulders while muttering that I was going to be his undoing. Then he latched onto my neck and I gasped.

Yes… This was what I wanted from the start. I wanted him to dominate me. I even dreamt about it and suddenly, I was having second thoughts of letting it happen while paralyzed by my own inability to stop it.

_Oh… Daddy…_

Rather than make obvious demands that might make him realise he was making a mistake, I bit on my lip and let him have his way with me while justifying the fact that he couldn't blame me for anything this time.

I was the victim here, and "Oh," I gasped when he undid both our pants and grabbed us both with one hand.

"Tell me what you want," he huskily whispered, and my mind went completely blank.

Whatever thoughts were running through my head were suddenly gone when he pushed himself up and continued to move against me. Then he gazed at me with a lusty smile and slowly undid the buttons on his shirt while I grabbed onto the sheets to keep my hands away from that which I so desperately wanted to touch.

_Punish me… _I thought, while fantasizing about all the things I'd let him do to me; though I didn't dare say any of it.

As my reward, he licked his bottom lip and wryly grinned before roughly latching onto my neck without being too rough. Then I let out another gasp and he began to move downward while I silently begged him to make love to me in my head.

_Own me…_

And eventually, after dragging out the succulent torture, he did everything I wanted him to do without ever having to say it, and when that moment finally came and I bit into my pillow before I breathed out, "Daddy…" I hoped to high hell that he didn't actually hear me.

He didn't respond to it though. Instead, he merely finished what he started before he fell against my back and relaxed as if he was ready to fall asleep against me while I succumbed to that strange lulling sound in my head that only seemed to happen when I was with him. Then after a long moment, he finally kissed me on the shoulder and pulled away so that I could turn over and dumbly stare at the ceiling while he gave me a strange look and then quirked his brow.

He still didn't say anything though, even though I suspected that the look had something to do with the fact that I think he heard what I said when I climaxed, and he merely reached over to grab my hand so that he could hold it.

"You don't remember me coming to see you… do you?" he finally asked with a strange calm that seemed to have washed over him.

"When?"

"When you were in the hospital," he clarified and snuggled closer so that his breath was against my neck, "I came to see you several times to see how you were doing, but you were asleep each time."

"I was drugged," I confessed and reluctantly turned to look at him, still somewhat conscious of the way my eyes must have appeared to him but he seemed to be hiding his aversion to it better than I expected.

"I noticed," he muttered, "After your outburst, Hojo had enough tranquilizer pumped into you to keep a wild behemoth down… I must confess, that with that kind of strength, I'd hate to see what would happen if you ever decided to turn on us."

"I could never hurt my little tonberry," I muttered, and held his hand more securely while meekly asking, "You knew about that?"

"There were several casualties, Sephiroth," he factually stated, sounding slightly tired as he responded to my hold, "Many people know about it." Then he propped himself up on his elbow and sympathetically looked down at me, "It's partially the reason why I decided to stay… You must have been so frightened, and I…

"Well… I was worried about you," he admitted, and then he brushed my hair from my eyes and I curiously returned his tired gaze before he pecked me on the lips and decided to lie back down.

"Oh…" I muttered, unable to hide my embarrassment and my guilt over the matter before I reluctantly asked, "How badly did I hurt them?"

"Don't worry about it," he said, and then he took a moment to yawn while he turned onto his back, "No one blames you."

"That's not what I asked."

With a heavy sigh, he looked up at the ceiling and shrugged while I silently resented the fact that no one ever gave me a straight answer about anything, and then he finally stated as if he noticed my frustration that, "They'll be fine, Seph… They're in good hands."

"So… They'll all be fine?" I asked, and slightly resented the feeling that he was lying to me when he hesitated and quickly tightened his grip on my hand when he muttered out, "Yes."

I couldn't help but silently stew over the notion, and for the longest time, I simply laid there and tried to make sense out of my actions before I finally told myself that I could make amends before another curious thought entered my mind and I turned to my side so that I was facing him.

"What's it like?" I asked, unable to hide my curiosity while preparing myself for the possible repercussion of my question at the same time when I said, "Making love to a woman?"

"About the same as making love to a man," he casually answered while quickly shrugging, "With some minor differences, of course." Then he curiously looked at me and asked, "You've never tried it?"

"No," I answered, "I've never had the desire."

"Seriously?" he asked, "Not even out of curiosity?"

"No."

At that, he let out a sigh and lightly snickered before asking, "Then why do you ask?"

"I don't know," I honestly answered, "I guess… I'm just curious as to why you'd want to."

"Perhaps I'm more curious than you," he casually answered, and pulled me closer, "And perhaps I'm even more curious now as to why you're not that curious….

"Haven't you ever been ashamed?"

"Of what?"

"Of being different," he stated, and ran his eyes over me as I moved closer and carefully pulled his elastic from his hair so that I could fan it out over the pillow.

"I'm not so sure that I should be ashamed of something I have no control over," I told him, and he quizzically quirked his brow and smiled.

"So you've always been attracted to men and you've always been fine with that?"

"Well," I started while I stared at his hair and combed it with my fingers, "I realise it was a mistake, but yes, I suppose that's the case."

"A mistake?" he curiously asked, and turned his head as if he were confused, ruining the perfect fan I'd created with his hair.

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Oh…" I said, and suddenly I felt like I said too much and lay back down so that I was staring at the ceiling again. Then I struggled over his acceptance of the facts before I decided that he'd probably find out anyway so I might as well tell him that, "In order to create the perfect soldier, it was believed that we'd be even more superior if they tampered with our genes in a way to try and breed the desire to copulate from us."

"So it was a failure," he responded.

"Yes and no," I told him. "They succeeded in removing our desire to breed, but as a side-effect, they—"

"Leviathan," Tseng breathed out and sat up while realising that, "So you're telling me that this is some bad experiment gone wrong? This isn't what you would have been if you weren't tampered with?"

Then he got up and I quickly grabbed his arm while almost begging, "Don't leave."

"How can you be okay with this?" he asked, unable to hide his bewilderment while he tried to pull away from me and I wound up gripping onto him tighter, "I've struggled with who I am all my life, Sephiroth… It's just the way I was born and I resent it, and here you are, telling me that someone did this to you and that you're okay with it?"

"Come back to bed," was my piss-poor response, and it appeared as though he wasn't willing to have any of that as he tried to pull away from me like I was suddenly an abomination to him.

"No, Seph…" he said, "The more I find out about you, the more I realise that I can't deal with what you are."

"Don't walk out on me again," I tiredly pleaded.

"You don't get it!" he hissed out as he pressed his foot to the bed for leverage and tried to pry my grip from his wrist with his free hand.

Then I finally pushed him back in frustration and demanded, "What?

"What don't I get?"

And I grabbed one of the blankets from the bed and threw it at him so that he could cover himself up while I grabbed the other and wrapped it around my waist while I stood and looked down at him.

"Am I suddenly not good enough for you because I'm not _like _you?" I asked, while he grabbed the blanket and stayed on the floor and stared at it, "First, it was your wife; _Now_ it's _me_! What am I to you that I wasn't an hour ago?" I demanded, "_What._ Don't I get?" Then I sat down when I realised how I was acting and he pulled his knees to his chest while gripping the blanket like a child as he stared into space.

"Tseng… I'm…" I started, and then I paused when he slowly shook his head while he continued to stare into space, and then I explained that, "It seems like everything I do or say, you manage to turn it against me."

Then I got back up and decided that I'd just go into the kitchen and grab a glass of water so that he could gather his belongings and walk out of my life again, maybe for good this time. It seemed like too much effort to hang onto him at that point and as I reached the door, I quietly admitted that, "I don't recall ever saying that I was okay with what I was…

"I just don't see why I should be ashamed of it; that was all."

At that, he let out a quick snort as I opened the door with a sense of defeat, and he whispered so low that it was almost hard to hear, "I've spent my whole life being ashamed."

Then with an ironic snicker he covered his mouth and rubbed at his upper lip. "My… _father_… was a felon," he said, and I turned around, still somewhat fuming over his inconsistencies, "He raped and nearly murdered my mother, and nine months later, I was born.

"As if that wasn't enough," he bitterly laughed out, "By the time I hit puberty, I realised that… not only was I an unwelcome addition to my mother's life, but I was also attracted to the same damned _gender…_

"My mother never told me about my father," he said as he looked up at me and I mindlessly closed the door behind me and leaned on it, "I found out what happened to her through the other children that hated me and blamed me for it… _She_ thought she was _protecting _me.

"And I thought I was protecting her by not telling her that I had no _desire_ to ever be with a woman," he laughed out. "Leviathan… Instead, I made the mistake of telling someone that I thought was my best friend…

"And do you know what he did?" he asked while I merely shook my head and stared at the floor, "I bet you'll never guess."

"I don't know what he did," I admitted, deciding that he wanted me to play along as I slowly moved my attention back to him while he stared off into space.

"He confessed that he felt the same," he said, and I wondered what was so bad about that while he snickered at himself, "He said that he was _relieved_ that we had so much in common, and then we made out!"

"Oh," I said, and then I uncomfortably shrugged because I didn't really know what was so funny about it.

"Well," he said and tilted his head while quirking his brow, "I was an idiot, to say the least, because the next day when I went to meet up with him, he had three other friends with him and they dragged me into an alleyway…

"Do you want to know what happened?"

"Not really," I muttered, somehow sensing that I really didn't want to know, and he bitterly glared at me while he adjusted the blanket around him as if it was the only sense of security that he had at that moment.

"You're such an ass," he spat out, and I merely shrugged as if there was nothing I could do or say to argue the fact. The truth was that I didn't think I liked where he was going, and I wasn't very good at pretending.

"Well, you asked for it," he bitterly said to me and decided that he might as well finish what he started, "My _friend_ told them what happened… Of course he left out the part where he made his own confessions and everything else that would have made him look bad, and as a _result_, they beat me within an inch of my life and nearly killed me."

"That's it?" I asked, and he glared at me again.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" he bewilderingly asked. "I'm telling you something I've never told anyone, and you act like it's the most _mundane_ thing you've ever heard."

Maybe I just didn't get it. I don't really know. All I did know was that every time I tried to get him to talk about his past, he'd shun the topic only for me to find out that his father was an asshole and that he was beaten up by a bunch of kids when he was younger.

Should I have responded differently? Or was there more to it than what he was telling me? I honestly didn't know, and I honestly didn't know why it was such a big deal to him. If that made me an ass, then I guess I was an ass, and I merely frowned with my arms crossed over my chest while I looked down at him and thought, _There must be more to this… he can't possibly be that much of a pussy…_

Then I let out a heavy sigh and decided that I didn't really care even if he was.

At that thought, I pushed myself away from the door and quietly sat beside him while he tightened the blanket around him, and I reluctantly put my arm around him to pull him closer. I figured that since I wasn't very good at verbal forms of compassion, then maybe I could just fake it by offering some form of physical contact that he hesitantly accepted while I uncomfortably looked around.

I suppose it should have been no surprise that I was suddenly swimming in foreign waters, considering that compassion wasn't exactly something I'd been exposed to for the duration of my life, and as far as nurturing went… well… I wasn't really sure if I even understood the concept.

Not to mention that I was still kind of fuming over the fact that it was perfectly fine for him to act like a jerk over things I had no control over.

Well, none of it really changed the fact that I still liked him, and as I sat there and held onto him and he finally responded by cuddling back, I began to realise that I could get used to his insecure outbursts. Then I faintly smiled to myself when I suspected that I would finally get to spend the entire night with him.

* * *

><p>"I don't get it," Genesis confessed to me the next day after he saw Tseng leave my apartment in the morning when he came to visit. Then he stuffed the newspaper he grabbed from the foot of my door into my arms and mockingly muttered, "Nice eyes, by the way."<p>

After that, he half snorted and snickered before he turned his attention to the spare room and scrutinized it while bitterly stating that, "You're everything that a man like him would avoid."

"Nothing happened," I told him before he looked at me through the corner of his eye like he didn't believe me.

Then he shook his head and walked into the bathroom while stating that, "You're tub is dry."

"Wow," I sarcastically responded as I sat at the kitchen table and gave it little thought as to why he pointed that out while I shrugged and opened the newspaper, "Fascinating."

"His hair was wet when he left," Genesis clarified as he ran his fingers over the edge of the sink and then walked back out to knowingly stare at me, "If nothing happened, why would he use the shower in your _private_ bathroom?"

"Maybe he liked that one better," I callously responded and he leaned against the door with his arms crossed while musically pronouncing my name like it was an accusation of sorts.

"Sephiroth…" he snobbishly sang, and then he walked over to my sofa and brushed the dust off the back of it while smirking, "You must think me a fool."

"No," I corrected as I turned the page and scanned the headlines, "I think you're pretentious and theatrical."

"Pretentious and theatrical," Genesis curiously repeated while he tilted his head and stared at me with a toying smile until I put the paper down and regarded him back.

Then I made a mental note as I studied the long earring in his right ear and I added, "Maybe even a bit of a fruit." Then I smirked at him and got up while offering, "Breakfast?" and pulled a pan from the cupboard.

"You truly are an enigma," Genesis mused before he said, "You slept with him…" as he walked up to me and grabbed a lock of my wet hair to emphasise the facts, "You showered with him…" Then he let it go when I grabbed a box of pancake mix and set it on the counter. "Yet… You didn't offer him breakfast."

"He wasn't hungry," I grumbled under my breath and frowned at Genesis' anal observations. Then I grabbed the milk from the fridge and confidingly said that, "He's private, Genesis."

"Unlike you," he pointed out and snickered as he sat at the table while I continued to make our breakfast and almost cringed over the thought of how much damage Genesis could do if he said something to Tseng.

"Don't say anything to him."

"I wasn't planning on it," Genesis responded, "In case you've forgotten, I was the one that pointed him out in the first place." Then he sighed and pulled the newspaper towards him while mumbling that, "The last thing I'd want to do is upset _him_."

_No,_ I thought, _but you'd probably use him to get back at the one you're mad at._

Of course, at the time, I didn't give it much more thought than that.


	6. As Fate Would Have It

**As Fate Would Have It**

* * *

><p>The morning seems to offer solace to Genesis. After a long night of trying to warm Tseng from the cold, he's found serenity as he sits at the mouth of the cave under the sparkling canopy of ice that almost resembles the jaws of something frozen in time.<p>

The sunrise casts a soothing glow of gold, pinks, and oranges that melt into a warm aura of aqua and turquoise as it makes its appearance known over the fresh cover of the frozen tundra. All the while, Genesis wears a subtle smile across his face while he takes a deep breath and calmly exhales in a rhythmic pattern.

It's the way he starts most mornings—cross-legged and in meditation. Whether it's rain, sunshine, or snow, he takes the time to clear his mind. The only difference from when he was younger is that he does it with summon materia in his hands now, and a faint red stream runs between him and Tseng.

It's becoming so common that Tseng doesn't even notice it when he awakes. The drained and week feelings are easily written off as what he's come to call his 'condition', and he shakily attempts to push himself up while he feels the ground and he nudges Genesis' coat that was keeping him warm to the side.

He has no concept as to what time of day it is, and he quietly calls out Genesis' name unnoticed while he continues to feel along the ground and stops when he gets closer to the warmth of the fire and appears to remember the events of the night before that led him to where he is now.

For a moment, he merely stays on his hands and knees and appears to be listening to his surroundings while black tendrils that are the side-effect of what Hojo did to him with the aid of Vincent's records slowly make their appearance from his back in the resemblance of smoke. It appears to have merged with him after the last incident in the Northern continent despite how well it's kept itself hidden over the years and they slowly creep about and face the direction of Genesis' serene form as he continues to face outward from the cave.

With a quick and knowing nod from Tseng, the tendrils quickly take a full turn as if they're observing the surroundings of the cave and then dissipate as if they never existed, and he starts to carefully crawl into another opening of the cave that leads deeper into the depths while being careful not to make a sound.

I can only guess that he's decided to take his chances and make another run for it, regardless of where he winds up or what he may face, and as he creeps closer to the depths, he carefully stands and outstretches his arms to feel for the wall of the cave that leads to the opening.

As he takes another step, the stream flowing from Genesis' materia stops and Genesis opens his glowing green eyes as the sun hits them full force and his pupils constrict to fine points before he turns around and they quickly dilate when he sets his site on Tseng's disappearing form.

Then as quick as lightning, he sets the glowing red materia into his cuff where it quickly dissolves out of sight and Tseng, almost sensing his fate, quickens his steps before the wall he was using as a guide abruptly ends and he nearly falls over a steep cliff that leads to an unknown depth.

The time it takes Genesis to reach him and grab him by the shoulders of his shirt to save his life is almost instantaneous. It does no favour to Tseng though. Instead of being thankful, he begins struggling with Genesis while trying to squirm out of his clothes to free himself from the grip while Genesis frantically tries to pull him to safety.

"Have you lost your _mind_?" Genesis bewilderingly asks by the time he finally pulls Tseng up and almost throws him to the safe side of the path.

Rather than answer, Tseng quickly kicks his legs towards Genesis' feet to knock him over and he quickly gets up to run in whichever direction seems feasible before he's grabbed by the ankles and slams to the frozen trail with a painful sounding grunt.

With angered eyes, Genesis laboriously breathes and hangs onto Tseng's legs to keep the man down while he crawls along him and dementedly glares at him.

"I must admit…" he breathes out as if he's out of breath, "That you're more of a challenge than your _lover _claimed you were… Sephiroth may have gone insane, but he was nowhere _near_ as mad as _you _to begin with."

"You would know all about insanity," Tseng vehemently hisses at him while he struggles with Genesis' grip and is quickly rewarded with a stinging slap to the face.

Then Genesis grabs Tseng by the front of his shirt and roughly pulls the man to his feet before he commences to drag him back to the cabin against his will after making a quick stop to grab his coat that Tseng pushed aside.

"I'm beginning to wonder if your _mindless _actions simply exist to cover up the fact that you're a suicidal fool."

* * *

><p>I don't know if I would have put it the way Genesis put it. Tseng may not have been opposed to risking his life, but he didn't necessarily go looking for ways to die either. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that Tseng's greatest fear was dying. Yet ironically, he often responded with complete disregard for his own life if he thought the end result was worthy.<p>

In many ways, he was like a cat, constantly escaping death while instilling the myth that he had more than one life to spare. Though, in his case, it might have been true, and the more I got to know him, the more I realised that there was something peculiar about him.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it though. His fascination with what I was, and his abjuration towards it almost struck me as a contradiction, for lack of a better word. But there was something different about him as well.

He seemed like a paradox. In some ways, he was stronger than what I thought the average person should be. Yet he caught colds like he deliberately went looking for them and he suffered from unusual and constant headaches that he claimed were, "Nothing… it's just a dull pain."

He was also uncannily sharp, quick, accurate, calculative, and relentless, and often times I found myself teasing him that, "Too bad your mother didn't know that her son was replaced by a machine."

Another strange quirk was that he couldn't seem to withstand any kind of exposure to mako for the minimum duration that most people could.

"Well, if you cared, Sephiroth, I might have told you why," he once told me when we were on the field and I stated that it was odd. Then I frowned as he dug up a randomly marked grave and snorted in disgust over the fact that the carcass was still ripe, "This doesn't look right…" he muttered with a frown and then turned his attention to me, "Does this look right to you?"

"It looks dead," I stated, and then I looked away while wishing I'd never looked at it in the first place. Killing things was one thing, but things that were already dead should have simply been left alone.

"No… take a look at this," he persisted as he waved me over to him and he held a cloth over his mouth and nose while standing next to the thing. Then he quickly shook his shoe when a maggot fell on it and he stepped to the other side of the corpse.

"I'd rather not."

"Sephiroth…" he said in annoyance, "You said you'd help me… Come here!"

"I don't recall you asking me to help you dig up dead things when you asked," I clarified as I turned my back to him and added that, "You're on your own."

As a result, he wound up calling me something nasty in Wutian and then he started searching the pockets while periodically shaking something off his hands, and when he was done, he asked me to help him out of the grave while he stood near the edge and held out his hand.

"I'm not touching you after you've been touching that," I factually stated as he held his slimy hand towards me and frowned. Then I started walking away while telling him that, "You can get yourself out of that pit on your own."

In many ways, he often stated that he was just as curious about me since I was such an arrogant asshole. "I can't help but wonder what in the hell your upbringing must have been like," he often said, "You're an even bigger ass than the President at times."

Our consistent needling at one another was really nothing more than a pass-time. It had been a couple of years since we first met and it was merely our way of getting to know each other, and as long as he didn't whine about his pathetic childhood, things went quite smoothly.

In fact, things went better than smoothly in my opinion, despite the fact that I believed his job was degrading and he felt that I was too quick to settle a problem with my hair-brained brawn.

"You can't just go around killing things all the time, Seph," he constantly told me, and I often responded by telling him that, "It's better than digging around in the garbage and playing with dead things."

Needless to say, we were both different people then. He was lighter; airier. His smile came easily and he was more willing to turn a blind eye and let a lot of things slide, and perhaps, in a lot of ways, I was naïve and foolish.

"And don't forget selfish," he reminded me on another note, but I suppose that it also fit the bill. So to be fair, I might have been a little self-centred as well.

* * *

><p>Well, all in all, as the months passed, I'd become far less conscious of my eyes. In fact, they seemed to award me a new level of fascination from my peers that I more or less fed off of. Not only was I known for being the best of the best, I was becoming more and more known as an 'untouchable' due to the strange quality of my appearance and abilities.<p>

New soldiers were nervous and excited when they were assigned to work with me and I liked it, and due to my growing reputation, I was becoming a living legend that Genesis seemed to be growing more and more jealous of while striving to climb above me in the process.

"So really," he once said to me in regards to the day that I finally won Tseng over by displaying a rare sense of insecurity, "You won him over by playing the victim."

_Maybe,_ I thought. Either way, I didn't really care if it was the truth or a lie. The bottom line was that it worked.

Since then, no place was sacred when Tseng and I were alone together. He was like an addiction and I highly suspected that he might have been suffering from the same ailment as me when it came to each other. Although due to his reserved nature, it was usually me that initiated it and he seemed to be fine with that.

Or at least I suspected he was fine with it.

"Leviathan… s-stop… stop…" he'd whisper when I'd push him into an empty room and lock the door while smothering him with my needs, "I can't—oh… okay… m-make it quick…"

All the while, I paid close attention to his kiss and the way that he responded. I came to discover that he was rarely the type to say what he wanted. He was a bit of a prude when it came to things like that but there was something about the way that he kissed and breathed; it was dynamic.

He could change from completely submissive to completely dominant, and I could always tell what it was that he wanted by that simple gesture of his that I don't think he was ever aware of.

Of course, nothing compared to the gentler and less rushed moments and when I got to keep him for the night. It generally happened when we were sent on a mission together or wound up within each other's vicinity, and oh…

It was satisfying, to say the least.

* * *

><p>Well, nearly a month went by where I hadn't had the chance to see him or run into him and I was suddenly beginning to feel it before I was called to Midgar. Lazard had requested that I run a seminar and even though I felt it was a waste of my time and talents, I couldn't help but accept.<p>

After all, Tseng lived in Midgar.

"Perhaps we could even persuade you to change your apartment in Midgar back to your permanent residence," Lazard suggested as he sat forward and folded his hands over his desk, "We could really use someone of your expertise to help with the new training methods we're running. If it's successful, you could earn yourself a full-time position and a raise."

"You mean an office job," I assumed as I stood in front of his desk and he coyly smiled while tilting his head. Then he adjusted his glasses and stood so that he could look out his window.

"I realise that the view here isn't as attractive as Junon's oceanic ports; nor is the acceptance level…. However, Midgar has much to offer," he stated as the noon train sped past his window and he lowered his head and smiled at the irony, causing his wavy golden-blonde hair to fall over his eyes.

Then he turned around and brushed it away while adding that, "We wouldn't take you from the field. We still need you where you belong if that's what you're concerned about."

"I'm not," I stated, suddenly thinking about Tseng and how sitting at a desk would drive me insane.

"Well," he started as he walked back to his desk and pushed some forms in my direction, "Think about it, Sephiroth."

"What's this?"

"It's the outline for the position we're offering to you. Everything you need to know is written on those pages and you can always go back to your old position on the off-chance that it doesn't work out or if you change your mind."

"Off chance..." I distantly muttered as I pulled the papers from his desk and quietly mused over Lazard's diplomacy while I quickly fanned through the papers and decided that it couldn't hurt to at least read them.

Mostly from what I read, I'd basically be doing the same thing I was already doing, but with a few added responsibilities. As I flipped through the pages while I sat in the lobby after leaving his office, I came to realise that they were planning on moving some of the soldier operations to Midgar so that they could train in more advanced surroundings.

The word 'enhanced' seemed to be the dominating theme while I read about the new training technologies and simulations they had already started working on, and as it turned out, I wasn't the only one they'd approached.

Angeal was also given a similar offer and he accepted it without question. In a way, I found myself sarcastically snorting at the idea while I mused over the fact that he'd have less responsibility than me, and then I wondered how this was going to affect Genesis when I concluded that he was never considered.

"He's too reactionary," was Lazard's reason when I went back into his office and asked him about it, "Don't get me wrong; he's as good as they come, but when it comes to responsibility, we'd rather have someone who's more…"

With an odd pause, Lazard adjusted his glasses and chose his following words well, "level-headed."

Well, despite the fact that it would be the first time Genesis and I'd be going our separate ways, I couldn't help but silently agree with Lazard while also convincing myself that we'd still be working with each other as if I'd already accepted the position.

* * *

><p>Later that day, or more accurately, that evening, I caught myself staring at Tseng's building as the taxi I was in drove by and I wound up telling him to pull over before handing him the gil I owed him.<p>

I figured no harm could come from _visiting_ the man in his own home, and I reasoned that even if his wife was there that I could easily use this new position I'd been offered as an excuse to visit a friend and request some unneeded advice.

Besides, I'd never seen the inside of his home from the inside and I had to admit that I was curious about the way the man I was sleeping with lived, and when I walked closer to the building, the man at the front door nodded at me and courteously opened the door so that I could sneak straight to Tseng's home and surprise him.

"Sephiroth?" he quietly asked when he opened the door enough to peer through and appeared apprehensive. Then he fully opened it to reveal the dish towel in his hand and waved me in. "Come in," he said, still keeping his voice low as he pushed a toy out of the way with his foot and admitted that, "I wasn't expecting you."

"I see," I responded as he closed the door behind me and I felt like I'd stepped into a foreign land as I looked around at the crayon marks on his coffee table and the stack of children's books and drawings sticking out of the small cupboard underneath.

_Not __quite __what __I __recalled __or __imagined__…_ I thought as he walked past me and said, "I was just tidying up… What brings you here?"

"You're not paranoid about me being here?" I almost whispered as I took a cautious look around to check for the presence of his wife and felt odd over the matter all of the sudden.

_Maybe I shouldn't have come…_

"Paranoid?" he snickered out as he returned to the dish rack and started drying off the dishes. Most of it was children's plates and utensils and I curiously regarded the dishwasher that was covered in crayon marks and wondered why he wasn't using it.

Then he turned around and regarded me with his brow quirked when he caught me staring at the objects in his home like I'd never seen or even imagined the likeness of any of it.

"Curious, perhaps," he said and I looked at him through my bang as if I'd been caught doing something wrong while he smiled and said, "but far from paranoid."

"Well, I thought that your wife…"

"She's out of town," he casually said as he grabbed a damp rag from the sink and started wiping the marks from the dishwasher, "And even if she weren't, why would your presence alarm me?"

_I __don't __know__…_ I thought, while suspecting that it might have had something to do with the fact that I never came to his home before and that it might have been awkward for him to be in the presence of his lover and his wife at the same time, or something along those lines.

"I just thought that…"

"I would certainly hope that you didn't come here to cause trouble," he calmly said, cutting me off as he finished his task and stood up to rinse the cloth out, "And if you thought your mere presence was going to cause an issue," he said as he turned around and leaned against the counter with the cloth still in his hand, "Why did you come here?"

_Excellent __question__…_ I thought while he wryly smiled and shook his head at me when I honestly told him that, "I was in town and I wanted to see you."

"I see," he said as he walked into the living room and started wiping down his coffee table, "So you didn't come here for any other reason?"

"What other reason is there?" I wondered allowed while I watched him get on his hands and knees and caught my attention lingering on his hips as they subtly wiggled while he scrubbed at the crayon marks.

_Mmmm…_

"I don't know," he sarcastically responded before he stood up and wiped at his forehead with his bare forearms, "An offer was made, you had some news, or something was on your mind and you wanted to discuss it, perhaps?"

"You knew about my meeting with Lazard," I realised as I smirked at him and he smiled back at me before he quickly picked up a handful of toys and put them in a box near the sofa.

"You had a meeting with Lazard?" he playfully asked and pulled his pony tail out so he could readjust it while I found myself admiring him in the messy state he was in.

Loose strands of hair hung in his face; his shirt and pants were stained with dish water, and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, exposing his well-formed forearms. "You knew that…" I started to say, before desirable images of him flooded my head and I forgot that I was going to accuse him of already knowing about Lazard's offer again as I stepped closer to him, unable to take my eyes from him as I hungrily purred out that, "You look so…"

"Daddy?"

"Leviathan," Tseng muttered as he quickly turned and broadly smiled at a little girl that was tiredly rubbing at her eyes. She was standing in the short hall that led to the bedrooms and clumsily holding a stuffed moogle while Tseng quickly walked towards her and I unintentionally glared at her for ruining a perfect opportunity to ravish her father. "Saity…" he softly said, "What are you doing up?"

"I'm thirsty…"

_Liar__…_ I quietly thought as Tseng picked her up and carried her to the kitchen and she buried her face in his shoulder after she noticed me. In my eyes, the little brat woke up on purpose.

"Who's that man?"

"That's Sephiroth, honey…" he said as he shifted her weight so that he could grab a cup and fill it without putting her down.

_Honey?_

"He's mean…"

At that, Tseng softly laughed and handed her a cup that she clumsily held and drank from while he explained to her in simplified terms that, "Sephiroth is a good man. He's helped many people."

"Bad man…" she persisted when she turned in his arms and barely peered over his shoulder as if she was using her father as a human shield to protect her from me, and all that ran through my head was that if it wasn't for the fact that she had her father's eyes and was Tseng's daughter, that I would have made no effort whatsoever to cover up the fact that I viewed children as an unnecessary nuisance.

Instead, I forced a smile and Tseng gave me a dirty look before he scoffed and turned his daughter so she didn't have to see me and hissed out, "What the hell was that?"

_What?_ I thought.

Then he walked by me and said under his breath to, "Quit making that face, Sephiroth," as he finally made it to the door of his daughter's room and gave me another dirty look. After that, he finally clarified that, "If you don't want to smile, don't… But don't do that… Leviathan…" he paused for a moment to adjust his daughter in his arms when she started crying about the bad man who was scaring her, "That… _demented_ grin!"

_What __the __hell __is __he __talking __about? _I wondered as I shrugged and casually walked down the hall to stand outside her room while he tucked her into her bed and assured her that they weren't in any danger. As far as I was concerned, she was creating a scene and using it as ammunition to make sure that her Daddy didn't get to spend any time alone with me.

He might not have seen it, but I could. It was in those conniving eyes that she inherited from the tonberry that was tucking her into her cozy little bed.

When he finally came out, he gave me that look of his again and my groin suddenly awakened before I grinned at him when he shut the door and I leaned towards him while he pressed his back to the door and I purred into his ear that, "You want to punish me… Don't you."

"You're a pig," he flatly said as he pushed me away and irritably shook his head. Then he brushed off the front of his shirt as I stood back with a wave of passing disappointment and stared at his bedroom.

That's where he slept.

Not only that, it's where he slept with his wife, and I suddenly walked into his room as if from a knee-jerk reaction and pushed him back when he attempted to stop me.

"Get out of there!" he quietly hissed, and I merely turned my head enough to quickly glance at him through my peripheral vision while the corner of my mouth jerked.

"So this is your room…" I lowly mused as I took a few steps by the dresser and ran my fingers along the richly coloured wood and stared at the feminine decorations sitting on top of it, "Nice…"

"Seph—"

While holding my hand up to silence him, my attention gravitated towards his neatly made bed and I smirked as the thought of over who picked the bedding passed through my head. "Pretty flowers," I sarcastically purred as I turned around and fell onto it to test the springs. Then I looked up to see those fiery eyes glaring down at me from the door as if he was summoning Ifrit from nothing other than sheer will.

_Ooh__…_ I playfully thought as I pushed myself farther onto his bed and he quickly stepped into the room to do…

To be honest, I'm not really sure what it was he was going to do because if I recall correctly, there wasn't much he could do. I was stronger than him so dragging me out was against the question, and as far as trying to persuade me to leave by hissing at me because he was afraid of alarming the little girl in the next room that he was trying to get to sleep…

Well, basically anything he could have or would have done would have involved one of us drawing attention to a situation that he didn't want any attention drawn to. So, I wryly grinned at him and narrowed my eyes in a come hither way while he cringed as he stood at the foot of the bed and contemplated his options.

_That's right Tonberry… You take your time…_

And on that thought, I decided that I didn't want him to take too much time thinking about his options while I turned onto my side and patted on the empty space beside me with obvious intentions.

"This isn't funny, Sephiroth," he sternly told me while I smirked at him and barely shrugged. If only he knew how attractive he was when he was angry.

"I'm not trying to be funny," I coyly told him while perverse and inappropriate thoughts ran through my head. Then I leaned towards him and he took a step back as if he thought I was going to grab him or something, "I'm trying to be obvious."

"Sephiroth, I thought you came here to discuss Lazard's offer,"

"I did," I admitted as I relaxed and freed up the space beside me again, "But then I thought of you naked and I—"

"Leviathan," he muttered, and then he warned, "Don't finish that sentence."

"Why?" I asked, and provocatively moved my hips, "Are you afraid it will excite you?"

"You're about as crude as Reno."

"Oh?" I purred out, "And what does Reno have to say or do around you?" I asked, more to rub it in than anything else, "Does he tell you how _hot_ you are when you're angry…? Is that why he always gets on your nerves? Or does he tell you how _sexy_ you look when you walk away from him after you're all fired up… hmmm?"

At that, I think I might have left him speechless, because he didn't respond. Instead, he only stood at the foot of the bed with a disgusted sneer on his face while he looked down at me like he didn't know what to do next.

Then he finally stated that, "You're acting like a filthy animal," like it was the best he could come up with before I quickly lunged across the bed and grabbed him. "Seph!" he hissed out as he tried to quietly pry my grip from his waist while I held him against me and playfully purred into his ear, "You like him, don't you."

"Let go!"

"Why don't you call him and see if he's game?" I taunted while I grabbed the button of his pants and he struggled to stop me. "I'm all for a threesome," I said as I ran my mouth along his neck and he gasped out before almost smacking me in the face with his knuckles.

"Ooh… Just thinking about it…" I perversely thought, "You in the middle… double the pleasure… and no matter where you went, you'd be…" Then I almost yelled out, "Ah!" when he bit me and I quickly backed off the bed while he furiously glared at me and brushed the stray hairs from his face.

"You're the most disgusting…!" he blurted out, while panting heavily and pausing as if he couldn't think of a word that was disgusting enough to compare me to, "For Leviathan's sake, Sephiroth! My _daughter's _in the next room!"

"Not to mention it's the same bed you share with your wife," I bitterly added while he stared at me in bewilderment for a moment. Then he shook his head and I shook the hand that he bit and brought it to my mouth while narrowing my eyes at him.

"I think you should leave," he suddenly said as he stepped into the hall and walked to the main room, and I merely stood there with dark thoughts and muttered under my breath while watching him, "Whatever you say… tonberry."

* * *

><p>Well, despite the fact that Tseng had a bite and that I had a talent for pushing him too far, I wound up accepting Lazard's offer while reminding myself never to try and seduce that little viper in his own home again. Apparently, the thought of doing anything within any distance of his daughter or wife was off limits.<p>

I also came to realise that a threesome was probably out of the question too, along with dirty talk, and despite the slight disappointment over those facts, I figured I could get over it.

"So what exactly will you guys be doing?" Genesis asked while we helped Angeal move into his new apartment in Midgar. He'd been quiet for the most part of the day, and he and Angeal had barely said a word to one another.

"Same thing we've been doing all along," I answered, and Angeal merely nodded in confirmation.

"But with more pay," Genesis mused as he opened one of Angeal's boxes and casually poked through it. Then he sighed and removed his coat, "Surely, there must be more to it."

"Training," Angeal finally answered, "We're expected to be more involved in training."

"Sounds boring."

"I think it's a great opportunity," Angeal stated as he took Genesis' coat and hung it on the rack near the door, "We'll be more involved in the development of Soldier; teaching them what we know and hopefully shaping the future in a more positive way."

"Boring," Genesis stated again as he grabbed a box and carried it to the kitchen and I quietly snickered in agreement.

The way Angeal put it made it sound mundane and noble when it was really only a change of residence as far as I was concerned. But I figured I'd let Angeal have his 'honour' by not ruining it for him, and I also ignored the dark look that Genesis awarded me before he stated what was on his mind.

"I suppose there's more to it for you," he stated as he nodded at Angeal's window that happened to face the same building that Tseng lived in, "Something tells me that 'shaping the future' isn't on your list of priorities."

"Would you two stop?" Angeal finally stated as he turned his attention to both of us and frowned. Then he knitted his brows and turned his attention to Genesis in disapproval, "You're fighting over a man that's not available—"

"Tell that to Sephiroth," Genesis retorted, emphasising my name again as he crossed his arms over his chest and turned his back to me and Angeal responded with an emphatic look.

"I really don't know what it is that you two see in him," he finally stated, "Other than the fact that he's something for the two of you to compete over." Then he shook his head and decided that he'd go back to unpacking as if something was bothering him and Genesis narrowed his eyes at him when he watched him put his belongings away.

"Oh… That's right," Genesis lowly spewed, "I absolutely _must_ have everything that _Sephiroth_ has."

In response, Angeal simply looked at Genesis through the corner of his eye and I decided to help him unpack while coming to terms with the fact that it was really starting to get on my nerves—the way Genesis kept over-pronouncing my name.

And naturally, Genesis did nothing to help out. Instead, he merely picked apart the flaws in the apartment and pointed out the messes he felt we should clean.

In part, I think we both suspected that Genesis was more critical than usual over the fact that he felt his only friends were leaving him, and I suspected that Angeal's short attitude towards him had something to do with the guilt he felt over that notion.

Deep down, I suppose that we all knew we weren't being separated, but at the time, Genesis' emotions seemed to be hanging over all of us due to the fact that he was never presented with the same offer and that his friends were moving ahead while he was left behind.

And when Genesis felt something, he wanted everyone else to feel it too.

* * *

><p>Well, he eventually got over it. In time, things fell into place and it was almost like nothing had ever changed, other than the fact that Genesis spent more time in Midgar than he did in the past and got himself an apartment below mine.<p>

Also, Tseng eventually got over the fact that I was a 'pig' and decided that he could excuse it by ignoring me when I was too forward for his comfort zone. Other times, he'd just yell at me or smack me if I went too far, and just to be safe, I never told him how much of a turn-on his reactions were.

"I see the two of you have been spending more time together than usual lately," Genesis pointed out one evening as he walked into my apartment with a catty grin.

"I hear you and Angeal are finally talking to each other again," was my only response, and Genesis merely smirked at the comment.

"Only because he finally stopped acting like a mother hen," he scoffed out, "though for how long, I can't be certain."

Then he snorted while smirking and picked up the book I had on the coffee table so that he could see what I was reading.

"I hear your _Turk_ is going to Nibelheim tomorrow with a handful of soldiers."

"Yeah," I muttered as I took my book from him and sat down on the sofa, "They think someone's tampering with the refinery."

"Oh, it's more than that," Genesis knowingly informed while he sat on the arm of the sofa and impishly stared down at me, "The refinery is only part of it."

"And how would you know that?" I asked, knowing damned well that the mission was classified, and then I choked on my drink when he told me that, "I signed up for it."

With a snicker, he casually passed me a napkin and then added, "Unlike you, I still have the freedom to pick and choose my assignments… to some degree, of course."

"Of course," I choked out while wondering what in the hell he was thinking as I wiped the side of my glass and at the spill on my lap.

"Well, my friend…" he started with another snide sounding snicker. Then he patted me on the back when he stated that, "It will be _months_ until you see your precious little beauty again… Whomever will you substitute him with to subdue that overactive libido of yours?"

After that, he snickered again and stood up to stretch while musing that, "_Months_ without sex for you must be what it's like for the rest of us to go without it for years." Then with a crass gesture, he added, "However will you manage?"

"I've done it before," I grumbled as I set my glass down. Truthfully, I was more concerned about Genesis chasing after a mission only because Tseng was going. Sex was the last thing on my mind at that moment.

* * *

><p>Well, about a month and a half went by and Lazard called me into his office to tell me that things were getting out of hand.<p>

"It turns out that the Wutians have discovered that Shinra is heavily invested in Nibelheim," he told me, "As a result, Shinra would like us to send a more aggressive force in to curb any discoveries they might make."

"I see," I responded, knowing better than to ask what it was that Shinra was trying to cover up.

"We'd like you to lead the next force. We're planning on sending it in the next couple of weeks," he told me as he adjusted his glasses and placed his hands on his desk, "We trust your judgment, and since you've been working closely with the soldiers stationed here, we've decided to let you choose the members of your party."

After that, he shyly smiled and brushed his golden bang from his eyes, "We have the utmost confidence in your judgement."

"What about the soldiers already there?"

"They're holding their own… As are the Turks," he responded with a nod. "But their hands are full and they're running out of resources."

"Are they in danger?" I asked, thinking of how Genesis and Tseng were already there.

"Not at the moment. No…" he answered, "But given the nature of the enemy and the unpredictable circumstances that may arise, we'd rather not take any chances."

That was all I needed to know as far as I was concerned, and within a day, I had a team put together and we were on our way to Nibelheim, all expenses paid.

* * *

><p>As we approached the small town, a strange sensation began to grow in my gut. It was almost like the sense of danger but more worrisome as it twisted my insides and a sense of anticipation grew to a point to where it was almost out of control.<p>

I managed to hide it from the others with my naturally indifferent attitude, and as the town came into view, a smouldering black cloud roared angrily above as if it was devouring what it sought to avenge.

It was the Nibelheim reactor.

After almost an hour of trying to get a response from the other Shinra officials that were already there, I discovered that a bomb was suspected to have gone off near the core of the reactor.

_Insanity __at __its __best,_ I thought as I took a deep breath at the shortly pondered stupidity of why someone would have thought it was a good idea to sabotage something so lethal to the innocent townspeople residing nearby. The hazardous waste could have severe and long-term side-effects, and as far as I knew, Shinra was the enemy of the Wutians, not the Nibels.

Regardless, there were, "Some severe casualties," as one of the officials put it. Several workers were on shift at the time of the explosion and a handful of Turks and Soldiers were also inside, as well as near the premises.

At first, it didn't really strike me as I was quickly briefed on the situation. But then I started to take note of those that were present and I felt my jaw slightly tensing as I scanned the crowd to no satisfaction.

_Severe __casualties__…_ I began to think and it slowly started to sink in as I watched the bodies being lifted into the ambulances and watched those that were helping the medics.

_Where's Genesis?_

Like me and Angeal, he was able to withstand high levels of mako and he was nowhere to be seen. At first, a part of me thought that he might have been inside the refinery during the explosion. 'Casualties' were mentioned, but then again, he was uncannily sharp and quick. Surely, he would have seen if not sensed something prior to it happening and quickly reacted—but never mind that…

_Where's Tseng?_

Knowing him, he would have been the first to aid the medics by barking orders at everyone and ensuring that everything was done 'by the book'. It was in his nature and his training to take control of a situation, and the more out of control a situation became, the more naturally he thrived as if he lived for it.

"We've lost some good men," I heard the official saying, "Many of them had families but there are still survivors."

_No…_

"We need to act as quickly as we can and I'm going to need our strongest and most mako-resistant Soldiers to volunteer their services. The contamination levels are critical to those who haven't undergone the full set of required treatments and we feel that only those soldiers that are in second and first will have the best chances of withstanding it."

His voice grew louder while a fleet of Shinra helicopters passed overhead and the winds picked up to scatter the small and light-weight objects nearby. However, I found myself more fixated on the helicopters than I was on what he was saying as the men who stepped out of the landing helicopters started pulling out radiation suits and biohazard control units.

The next few minutes felt like hours as I continued to scan the area for Tseng and Genesis and half-listened to what the official was telling us and asking us to do. I understood it clearly, he wanted us to go in and look for survivors, and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to assist, despite my own selfish reasons.

Shortly thereafter, another small explosion erupted from the refinery and amidst the fires and the suffocating smoke that bellowed from the openings in the rubble, frantic screams were heard from within.

We moved fast and the small number of second-class soldiers impressively kept up as we ran into the building to find the rest of the survivors that were unable to make it out, but somewhere along the lines, we were separated. After a quick scan of the handful of wounded men near the entrance, I realised that the men I'd hoped to find were nowhere to be seen and I ran past them, farther into the foreboding bowels of twisting corridors and down steel ladders that were falling apart from the massive destruction.

Beams fell amongst the rubble and a dusty haze obscured my vision while random fires blazed in a furious dance as a warning to turn back, but I couldn't. I could have sworn that I heard something deeper in the midst of where no man could survive.

"You fool," I thought I heard someone quietly choke out after what sounded like the shuffling of unstable footsteps. They appeared to be dragging something and stumbling while the sound of breath laboriously lingered through the dust.

"Genesis?" I called, unable to hide the hopeful sound that raised my voice to an anxious pitch.

"S... Sephiroth...?" he reluctantly called back as I heard the shuffling stop for a moment and a bewildering flutter of hope almost exploded from my chest, despite the regretful sound in his voice.

"Over here!" I called as I started to walk towards the sound and dodged a large chunk of rubble that fell from overhead and asked, "Where's Tseng?"

"I..." he distantly trailed off as his silhouette started to become visible through the thick fog of pollution and he appeared to be holding something large while he leaned against a portion of the concrete wall in defeat, "I tried... but I..."

I suppose I simply didn't want it to occur to me, or maybe I was so caught up in the moment that I was truly being naive, but I stopped dead once he was in clear view and I think I stopped breathing when I saw what it was that he was holding.

"I think I was too late..." he mumbled while curling his fingers into a black mass of hair and holding the body so close that it appeared as if he were attempting to merge with it. Then he regretfully looked up at me and choked out in a broken whisper, "He won't wake up."


	7. Defeated

**07 Downward From Here**

* * *

><p>"Get inside and shut your mouth!" Genesis demands as he pushes Tseng to the floor and slams the door behind him, and Tseng merely snickers as he pushes himself up and brushes his hair from his face.<p>

All the way back to the cabin, Tseng fought with Genesis and managed to break away more times than I could keep up with. He bit, he hit, and he kicked. He basically did anything and everything that he could while simultaneously needling under Genesis' skin with remarks of a past that stings.

"You're worse than a rabid dog!" Genesis hisses as he lunges forward when Tseng attempts to stand. Then he drags him into the bedroom with an unrelenting grip on Tseng's upper arm that causes him to unwillingly wince. All the while, Tseng continues to struggle in a futile attempt to defy him and Genesis' temper brews at the surface while he continues to hang onto the Turk as he digs through a dresser drawer and pulls out an old dress-shirt.

Then he practically throws Tseng onto the floor at the foot of the bed with a force that elicits another grunt from Tseng and he cruelly glares at him while he quickly twists the shirt into the form of a rope and Tseng hisses out, "For someone who feels that way, you sure as hell go through a lot of trouble to keep me as your _pet_."

"Protect you," Genesis disturbingly clarifies before he quickly pulls out his sword and stabs it into the side of Tseng's shirt to pin him to the wooden floor, taking him off guard and just grazing his ribs with the blade. Then he bears down on the handle with his weight to ensure that the sword is solidly lodged into the floor and he steps over him to grab his wrists while he explains through his teeth that, "Because like a dog, you have no sensibility."

With a twisted sneer, Genesis forces Tseng's wrists to the bars at the foot of the bed in another struggle and commences to tie them with the shirt and adds, "However, _dogs_ can be trained."

"You're tying that too tight," Tseng angrily retorts through his teeth as he squirms against the blade and his shirt starts to turn red.

"Look at what you're doing to yourself!" Genesis replies as he gestures to the sword that Tseng is rubbing against in his struggles. Then he cruelly snickers and grabs Tseng's hair to hold his head still while he leans close enough for his breath to be felt on Tseng's lips and soothingly taunts that, "Silly me…" as his eyes wander over Tseng's blank stare in study, "I almost forgot that you're as blind as a bat."

At that, Tseng spits in his face and Genesis quickly stands while wiping at it and pulling his sword from the floor with an unnatural grace before he walks to the door with a conniving grin.

"Fear not, fair pet," he musically soothes as he steps out of the room, "I shall return,"

"I'm not your _pet_," Tseng bitterly corrects as he sets his attention on trying to loosen the shirt when the main door to the cabin closes and Genesis' disappearing footsteps are heard outside.

Almost an hour passes and Tseng has finally given up after seemingly tightening the knots rather than loosening them, and when Genesis returns, a pile of metal scraps and gear is dropped to the floor near his feet with a loud clang.

"I'm surprised you're still here," Genesis sarcastically snickers out as he toys with a vial of potion in his pocket while he stares down at Tseng's stained shirt and silently notes that the bleeding has stopped. Then he serenely smiles at him and softly sings out that, "I brought you a gift…" and Tseng simply snorts as if he couldn't care less, "Do you want to know what it is?"

"No," Tseng mutters as he turns his raw wrists in another futile attempt to find comfort and Genesis merely sneers back at him as he turns his attention to the pile of metal at his feet.

"Very well," he breathes out as he kneels down and separates a chain from a collar, padlocks, and bolts. Then he places a metal plate with holes at the corners against the floor and thoughtfully muses over its position, "I suppose surprises can be fun."

When Tseng snorts again, Genesis smiles as he seems to have found a spot he feels will do and commences to make conversation while fastening the plate to the floor with thick bolts, "I heard you talking while I was outside," he says, and Tseng merely sneers as he rests his head back as if he were staring at the ceiling.

"You do that a lot when you think no one's around," Genesis adds, "Talking to Sephiroth… Or should I say…_'Seph'_." Then he sighs and studies the end of the chain while Tseng remains to appear uninterested in what he's doing or saying, "I often wondered if Vincent knew that you talked to him, or even that you pause long enough for him to answer as if you're having a conversation with him."

"He's _dead_, Genesis," Tseng finally mutters, unable to hide the irritation before he lowers his voice to an inaudible tone and quietly mutters that, "They both are."

"Of course he is," Genesis agrees while ignoring the last part as he slides one end of the chain through a thick groove in the plate and secures it with one of the padlocks, "But that doesn't change the fact that you still _feel_ for him, even though he's the one responsible for what you are and _despite_ what he's done to you."

Then with a cold snicker while he holds up an old metal collar attached to the other end of the chain and another padlock, he turns his attention to Tseng and adds, "In fact, one could even say that he is also the one responsible for what happened to your wife and daughter as well."

"You're unbelievable," Tseng lightly muses as Genesis tilts his head, "Do you honestly think that any of that matters anymore?"

"Perhaps not," Genesis muses while narrowing his eyes as he watches Tseng snicker as if it bothers him while he shuffles closer with the collar in his hand.

"Just because I made a few remarks about your insecurities, you feel that you have to dig up the fact that I was a fool to a man that destroyed everything that mattered to me and then tried to murder me…? Leviathan, why stop there?" Tseng openly wonders as he starts to softly laugh, "When there's so much more you could touch on?"

"Because you're still his _fool_," Genesis reminds him through his teeth as he holds the collar up to Tseng's neck and opens it.

"I see…" Tseng flatly replies before he clicks his teeth and holds them together for a second, causing his jaw to subtly tighten, "I understand how difficult it must be to live in his shadow… Always wanting what he has and receiving nothing but sloppy seconds.

"Yet, you're too late… as always," Tseng continues as he feels the metal against his neck and sneers while turning to Genesis' direction and whispers that, "There is nothing left for you to take away." Then out of nowhere, Tseng suddenly bellows out as Genesis closes the collar and slides the padlock through that, "I'VE ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING!"

* * *

><p>Part of me wishes it wasn't true—that he still had something, but I'm well aware of the fact that neither of them lies when they're under each other's skin. They don't need to. I'm also well-aware of the damage I was responsible for, long before I knew I was doing it.<p>

However, it was never my intention, not then…

"What do you think you're doing?" Genesis urgently asked as he followed me through the old tunnels of the mako caves below the refinery, "The medics are the other way!"

"I know where the medics are," I disturbingly answered as I carried the man and held him close as if I were clinging onto his life-force and grimacing when he would occasionally stir and cough up something that resembled slime.

His skin was as pale as death and he was cold and clammy to the touch, and every now and then, he would vaguely regain enough consciousness to whine about the agony he was in and I would shush him while muttering into his ear that, "You're going to be fine… I've got you now."

_Damned idiot…_ I thought as I made it to the town and quickly walked to the mansion that was growing larger in my sight as if it was the only focus I had.

Part of me didn't want to admit it, but a part of me already knew that there was nothing the medics could have done for Tseng, and as Genesis continued to follow, he finally broke down and asked, "Why are you taking him _here_?"

"Last I heard," I said as I pushed open the Iron Gate with the pressure of my back and adjusted Tseng in my arms, "Hojo was in town working on something here."

"Hojo?" Genesis bewilderingly asked as he took a step back as if he suddenly wanted nothing to do with what I was planning on, "But Hojo's…"

"I know what Hojo is," I told him as I adjusted Tseng in my arms again to emphasise the fact that he was our only hope, "And he's the only man I trust right now."

Little did I know, and as I carried Tseng into that forsaken mansion and into the underground passages beneath it, all I could think about was that I didn't want to live if anything happened to him. In my mind we were destined to be together, and I gave no thought to repercussions or the fact that I knew what I was doing was wrong. In fact, I didn't even give any thought to the fact that there was no way a man in Tseng's condition could possibly survive.

He had a day, at best, and I should have known that.

I suppose in a way, denial wasn't a flaw that only Tseng suffered from. Only, to give him credit, I think he always knew what it was that he was denying.

Me, I'm not so sure if I was aware of it as I found my way to the lab beneath the mansion and pounded on the heavy wooden door until someone finally answered it.

"Whoever it is, tell them to go away!" Hojo yelled from somewhere within as a heavy set colleague of his opened the door and stroked his short beard while speechlessly staring down at the Turk in my arms and I made it painfully obvious that I wasn't about to do as Hojo demanded.

"Hollander!" Hojo yelled again before he quietly complained that no one ever listened to him as his footsteps grew louder when he made his way to the door, "How hard can it be to simply tell them to—Oh…"

"I need your help," I stated as Hojo adjusted his glasses and stared at Tseng like I was holding the plague, and I nearly choked on the fact of my words when I added that, "He's not breathing."

In a way, I half-expected him to simply tell me to 'Dispose of that filthy thing.'

After all, it was a Turk, and to Hojo, they were a dime a dozen and, 'Expendable to a fault…'

He said nothing of the sort though. Instead, he pushed Hollander aside as if his earlier demand was no longer important and anxiously asked, "What happened to him?" before he tried to snatch the man from my unrelenting grip and demanded, "Let go of him, Sephiroth!" Then he nearly kicked me as he used his foot for leverage against my leg in hopes that it would aid him, "He needs attention and he needs it now!"

If I wasn't so focussed on Tseng at the time, I might have realised that Hojo stating that someone needed attention was out of character for him. Even his urgency to get Tseng inside was out of sorts. Yet none of it occurred to me, and when Hojo finally resigned to the fact that I wasn't about to let the man go, he urgently motioned me in and led me to his lab and I followed.

"Place him on that table," he commanded as he walked over to a counter and grabbed a small light, "If you can manage that," and when he quickly walked back to the table and I stepped back, he asked, "What happened to him?"

"He was in the refinery," I said. All the while, I kept my head down and my hand on the table as if I was afraid to leave Tseng's side.

"I thought there was an explosion at the refinery," Hojo mindlessly stated before he suddenly stopped dead and simply stared at Tseng like he completely forgot what it was he was planning on doing.

For what seemed like far too long, he stared at the man with an expression I was unfamiliar with while holding a handful of instruments in a grip that appeared hesitant. His eyes appeared wider than normal and his jaw was tensing as if he was trying to chew on something that he couldn't swallow.

All the while, unreadable thoughts churned behind those rat-like eyes of his in a way that almost resembled panic before he suddenly bellowed in a shrill voice that almost pierced my ears to, "GET OUT!

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" he repeated as he pushed me back and started behaving like a madman. His hands flailed about and I half-suspected that he would have hit me if I didn't step back with each demand.

He took me off guard and I mostly obeyed because he was the only man who took the time to care for me when I was growing up, and to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure how to react to the way he was suddenly behaving.

In all the years I'd known him, he'd never reacted in such a threatening or erratic manner. He was always belittling, but he would generally do it with a sarcastic snicker while bathing in the glory of his own self-worthiness.

This, however, was different.

He behaved as if he was distraught over something I couldn't begin to understand, and by the time he got me to the door without me realising it, he mysteriously calmed down and wiped at the sweat above his upper lip while holding the door with his other hand in a grip that turned his knuckles white.

"I need time to think," he muttered, looking at the floor and shaking his head as if he were overwhelmed. Then he ground his teeth and stared down the dank hall like he was contemplating something—some kind of answer that laid in the darkness of unfinished tunnels before he looked at me like I was the cause for all of his problems and demanded, "Where was he when you found him?"

"In the lower levels," I informed, and then he gripped the door tighter and looked like he was about to be sick while clenching his jaw again.

"The Mako levels are lethal down there, last time I heard… _Exactly_, where was he when you found him? How far down?" he snapped at me.

"I don't know," I answered, "Genesis was bringing him up when I met up with them."

"And you never asked?" he shrieked. Then before I had the chance to defend myself, he suddenly spat out, "What good are you?" and then the door was slammed in my face so that he and Hollander could bicker about something I couldn't make out behind it.

At the time, I didn't know what it was that I'd done wrong. All I knew was that the life of a man that meant everything to me was in peril and that somehow, it had become my fault and I was the enemy.

Genesis was angry with me, Hojo was angry with me, and I had no idea why everyone was suddenly turning on me. In my eyes, I'd done nothing wrong.

Well, there wasn't much else I could do, and as I stood in the hall-like tunnels of the lower basement of the mansion, I tried to make sense out of everything while Hojo's and Hollander's bickering disappeared farther away from the door and I studied the stale dirt at my feet. It all happened so fast that most of it seemed like a blur.

I began to second-guess myself, and I turned my attention to the solid planked door that Hojo had shut me out with and I stared at it with a strange feeling of regret.

Was I supposed to leave?

Then with a heavy sigh, I turned my attention down the path from which I came and curiously regarded a section that was sealed off by crumbling bricks and gave it no more thought than the fact that it was oddly out of place.

From there, I went back outside with a dead feeling inside and decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to simply do my job. Tseng was in Hojo's hands. He'd be fine. Out of all the people I knew and trusted, Hojo was the most capable and dependable…

* * *

><p>Days seemed like weeks as I impatiently waited and periodically demanded to see Tseng only to be denied. Hojo's irritated responses were dismissive and accusatory and I never questioned it. Instead, I'd reluctantly walk away from his door to return to the other soldiers I travelled with and worked towards completing my mission.<p>

Always, I was distracted by it. My focus was split between what I was doing and what I was thinking, and despite the toll it took on my mind, I found it only made me work harder, more focussed on the task at hand and more determined to complete it so that I could return to his side.

I didn't want to face the possibility of what I might do if he died, and I couldn't tear myself away from the reality of how it made me feel before the inevitable finally took place.

Hojo sent Tseng back to Midgar and didn't bother to inform me when he did it. When I confronted him, he became curious about the undivided attention I was giving to the Turk and suddenly wanted to know what this strange interest was that I had in him.

"He's just a Turk," he explained as I followed him down the halls and he carried a notepad and took notes as if he was only half paying attention to me, "Nowhere near as exceptional as the soldiers in 1st."

Then he stopped dead in his tracks and spun around while suspiciously asking, "Why in the name of the Ancients would you exhibit such concerns for a mere… _commoner_?"

"Commoner?"

"Yes," Hojo answered, and then he started writing in his notepad again as he went on. "He's just a simple vagrant from the streets of Wutai that even Shinra doesn't fully trust. He's not even fully Wutian and of questionable origin… The only _reason_ he's been entrusted as much as he has is because the President's son has managed to throw enough tantrums in his favour."

"For such a 'common' lack of interest, you seem to know an awful lot about him," I suspiciously responded, suddenly more curious about the time and energy Hojo invested in him and knowing full-well that it was more information than Hojo would pay mind to if he truly wasn't as interested in the man as he was pretending to be.

"I had to look up his records in order to treat him!" he shrieked at me, suddenly tense and taking me off my guard again, "And none of that explains why you think I owe you an explanation!"

"He's my responsibility," I coldly answered before he started laughing like I told him a joke.

"Ah, yes… The belittling job of a 1st class soldier," he mused, barely able to contain himself over how humiliating it must have been for me while he shook his head and bewilderingly wiped at his brow, "To babysit a Turk… hahaha-hehe-hew."

Then he suddenly turned serious and walked with a quickened pace towards his lab as I followed with more determination than I initially had before he stopped under the door frame and spun around to tell me that, "You have no need to worry anymore. He's in Shinra's hands now… No longer your _responsibility_."

After that, he started laughing again and slammed the door in my face before locking it, making it clear that he was done with the conversation and leaving me to stand on the other side of the door with more questions than what I initially had.

There were so many things I wanted to say and ask, but I knew better than to voice them. So I simply stood there and stared at the door while pondering the relationship I shared with Hojo. It was one of love and hate, and trust and suspicion, and I knew better than to expect anything more before I let out a heavy sigh and turned to regard the path from which I came.

It was the same as it was before with one minor change. The section of brick I noted when I first brought Tseng to him was torn down and left in a pile of rubble as if it had been torn down in a hurry, and an old wooden door that was fastened with iron stood in its wake.

_Curious_, I thought as I slowly walked up to it and lightly kicked the rubble with the toe of my boot while noting a set of tracks like something had been wheeled in and out from it. _Why would someone seal off a door?_

Then I shrugged after testing the door—only to find it was locked—and glared at Hojo's door one last time before I decided that there was nothing left to do or say. Besides, I had more important things to do that day, like returning to the refinery to inform the soldiers under my command that Shinra was sending in a Specialist Crew to clean up the mess and get the refinery back up and running.

Not to mention that it also meant that I could return to Midgar, and that was where Tseng had been sent.

* * *

><p>The trip back to Midgar was long. The fact that I had to remain in Nibelheim for another week didn't help. My solemn mood kept the other soldiers away from me and I more or less welcomed the silence as I stewed over the fact that I'd heard no word on Tseng's condition since he'd left.<p>

What made matters worse was that I was more than certain that his wife was by his side, knowing more than me about the state of his health, and that this strange and unfamiliar feeling was growing stronger the closer I approached.

Suddenly, 'unfair' held a whole new meaning for me and I grew more restless the closer I got to Midgar. On top of that, the first place I'd have to go would be to the briefing room to listen to everything I already knew about the situation instead of finding out something about the only thing I didn't know anything about.

"He's fine!" Hojo told me before I left, and I was unable to fully believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.

* * *

><p>By the time I finally made it to Tseng's side, I believe I may have lost touch with a little bit of my sanity. It was almost like I wasn't always fully in control of my own actions as a part of me that struck me as disturbingly dark appeared to be guiding my actions.<p>

It must have happened when I finally concluded, once and for all, that Tseng would have been happier if he left his wife and gave into what he truly was—mine. In my eyes, he owed it to me for some strange reason, and on a brighter note, part of me felt that he needed me to take care of him.

However, he seemed well when I finally stepped into his room in a way that seemed meek. He was still slightly green and somewhat frail in appearance, and I began to second-guess myself as I walked to the side of his bed and looked down at him with a mixture of anger and relief.

"What were you thinking?" I asked him, half-wanting to pick a fight with him and half-wanting to embrace him before I went on with a train-wreck of bewildering questions about his state of mind and why in the hell he felt he was able to run into a contaminated refinery to save the lives of people who never would have done the same for him.

If it wasn't for Genesis being there… Well, he was lucky.

He managed to defend himself though, stating reasons like it was his 'duty' before he went on about those people having families and children, and whatever else he felt were just reasons to risk his life for.

Needless to say, he felt there was no argument worth arguing due to the fact that he felt his reasons were worth dying for.

"Well you were almost dead," I grumbled when I concluded that he'd won the first round. Then I decided it was time to go onto round two and basically tell him how I felt about his wife and how I felt about everything else.

However, the words, "You don't love her," didn't have the effect I thought they would, despite how true I believed it was. Also, the fact that I didn't stop at that, and the fact that he was telling me to, "Get out… Get the hell out, Sephiroth…" made things appear that they weren't going as I planned.

"For Leviathan's sake…" he finally spat out as he pushed the sheets aside and angrily told me that, "You're acting like a lunatic and you need to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," I told him before he made me angrier by thinking he could justify his demands by telling me his wife was on her way down.

It mattered little though, I suppose, since shortly after that, he decided that he was well enough to get up so that he could show me where the door was, and then he collapsed.

"Stubborn tonberry," I muttered as I stared down at him and sighed, _What a mess_. I should have known better than to push him in the state he was in. Then I sighed again and knelt beside him so that I could fix his gown.

_Look at you…_ I regretfully thought as I stroked his hair and realised how beautiful he looked as he laid there unconscious, _So vulnerable_…

Mixed feelings came over me at that moment, and I wound up pulling him into my arms so that I could hold him and steal a small kiss to show my gratitude over the fact that he was alive and well.

That might have been my second biggest mistake since the whole ordeal began, because as my lips lingered over his in a state of never wanting to leave, his wife walked in.

She simply stood there with an expression I was unfamiliar with while holding her daughter's hand, and I emptily stared back at her while slightly grinning without realising it.

_That will teach him_, I illogically thought with my lips still pressed to his.

Unfortunately, I was so blinded by the situation that I didn't see Hojo standing behind her and glaring at me with a mixture of disgust, horror, disapproval, and an odd mix of scientific curiosity.

* * *

><p>What I did that day, I would never forgive myself for, despite that there was no way for me to foresee the outcome. There was no way that I could have seen the consequences of my actions.<p>

At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

Did I think that he'd come running into my arms, knowing that I was the one that set the course for the events that followed? Did I actually believe that all would be forgiven in a heartbeat and that we'd live happily ever after as a result?

Maybe.

If I wasn't thinking clearly, I might have believed in that, and sadly, I wasn't really thinking clearly. As a result, I drove Tseng to hate me beyond loathing, and worst of all, I made him hate himself more than he already did.

At first, he couldn't understand why his wife and daughter never came to see him that day. Nor could he understand why they never came to see him in the days that followed.

He kept asking for them, and every time someone got a hold of her to ask on his behalf, she simply said that she was too busy.

"He's well now," she would say, "And I want to make sure that he comes home to what he deserves."

In a way, I suppose I only added substance to her suspicions. It was a little known fact that she'd confronted him on several occasions in the past about him having affairs. However, according to him, her accusations were unwarranted.

Well, when he went home from the infirmary, he went home believing that he'd see his wife and daughter and that everything would return to normal. He could hold his daughter and spend time with her, and he and his wife could return to their bickering over why his work was more important than they were.

* * *

><p>He didn't return home to what he'd hoped for though. Instead, he returned home to silence. It was a silence that was deafening to him as he spotted a note on his desk and read it. It was his in his wife's handwriting and it read that she was planning on leaving him. It also read that she saw him with 'him' while she threatened that he'd never see his daughter again as punishment.<p>

Unfortunately, fate was on her side when she stated that he'd never see her or his daughter again. Tseng came to quickly discover that in a way that no man should ever have to discover it. It appeared that his wife had suffocated the girl and then slashed her own wrists in the bathtub, and that was what he found when he came home to see them again.

Those days were trying for him. No man should ever have to hold his lifeless daughter in his arms while inwardly screaming, and no one ever suspected foul play and no autopsies were performed due to his wife's unstable condition. It was common knowledge that she suffered from chronic depression and he'd often turn a blind eye to the whispers in the hallways as he'd walk by.

Could it have been avoided if I'd practiced better self control? Probably not. Eventually, fate would have seen to it if it wasn't for my own negligence, and fate would have caught up with us be it sooner or later.

I merely helped speed up the process.

From that point, Tseng took to alcoholism in a self-destructive way as he attempted to drown his self-loathing away. Many of us that knew him best suspected that he was suffering from a break-down of sorts and worried that he was eventually going to take himself out of the picture. Rufus did all that he could to keep him busy, and Reno spent as much time with him as he could while I resented them both and myself over the matter.

We all knew that Tseng drank before that. He was even known to drink on the job from time to time during a casual lunch. I could taste it and smell it on him when we'd steel those precious moments together but nothing was ever said. His performance was always exceptional and we all believed that he had himself under control.

Unfortunately, that self-control went out the window the day he returned to a lifeless home.

In an attempt to redeem the man's break-down, Rufus talked his father and Lazard into sending Tseng to Gongaga with Reno to investigate where another terrorist group known as Avalanche was getting their weapons from.

"Keeping him at home by himself is surely not the best remedy for him," Rufus argued in his youthful logic. He truly cared for Tseng and wanted nothing more than to help him recover, "Immersing him in his work may help take his mind off his troubles."

"Are you crazy!" his father asked as he slammed his fist on the table and Genesis and I stared at the door they were standing behind, "The man's a wreck and should be given his papers! Did you see him yesterday? He couldn't even walk in a straight line and looked like he hadn't showered in weeks! We don't need another head-case in the department!"

"Another head-case?" Rufus coolly asked. We sensed that Rufus suspected his father was talking about him by the tone of his voice and we both looked at each other in silent agreement.

"Perhaps, gentlemen, Rufus is correct," Lazard piped up, also sensing the tension and attempting to remedy the situation, "In the past, Tseng has always performed with exemplary results. He's an analytical man and forcing him to stay isolated only forces him to analyse the most recent events over and over."

"In other words, he's a reject who can't be relied upon," the President responded, "You said it yourself, Lazard, he'll play the damned thing over and over in his head until it damns us all."

"Father," Rufus calmly interjected, "I believe that's not what Lazard was saying."

"Of course not! You'll side with that Damned Wutian even if it leads you to your own grave!" Then the President muttered with an edge in his voice that, "I knew I shouldn't have assigned him to care for you when he first arrived. He's been nothing but a bad influence on you since day one."

"Perhaps that's your own doing," Rufus bitterly responded before Lazard interjected again.

"Gentlemen, please… This assignment carries no repercussions. It's merely an investigation into an arms dealership. No action is required and in a way, it could even be looked upon as a vacation that may prove beneficial and relaxing."

"Spoken like a true diplomat," the President grumbled. Then he sighed while muttering, "You choose your words too carefully, Lazard."

"It's logical, father," Rufus agreed, despite the fact that he wasn't known to agree with Lazard very often. Most of us assumed it was because of the rumours about them. Lazard was from a broken family and never knew his father. Yet he bared a striking resemblance to Rufus and his father, and Rufus' father was rumoured to having a weakness for the pretty blonde females that worked in his building.

Lazard's mother fit the criteria and both Rufus and Lazard resented it. Whether it was true or not, no one really knew, but it affected them both on a level that struck us as obviously bitter and suspicious towards one another.

"Very well," the President grumbled again, "I suppose I can't argue with Lazard's _logic_."

"No," Rufus agreed while lowering his voice and vindictively pointing out that, "But you can certainly argue with mine."

No comment was made to that, and all we heard after that as the two younger men walked out from the President's office was that, "If anything goes wrong, Lazard, it's on your head."

"I'll take full responsibility," he responded. Then he and Rufus shared a quick glance as Lazard adjusted his glasses and ran his hand through his silvery blonde bang in the same manner that Rufus did with the golden fringe that hung over his eyes. It was a look that we all came to know as distaste for one another before Lazard turned his attention to us and motioned for us to follow him into the briefing room and Rufus took his leave.

* * *

><p>I had to admit that it seemed like a sound idea to me too. Tseng needed something to take his mind off his troubles, and what better way to do it than to send him away with his favourite Turk—Reno—on a mission that bared no repercussions?<p>

As usual though, we should have known that things weren't going to turn out as well as we'd hoped. Something went wrong and even Reno didn't know exactly what set Tseng off. According to him, they were sitting in one of Gongaga's pubs after researching all the possible leads they were able to come up with. They were having a good time and Tseng was even smiling at Reno's antics.

"I thought I was makin progress," he insisted, "He even made a few jokes of his own; Thought a few drinks would loosen 'im up an it seemed to be workin."

But then out of nowhere, according to Reno's story, he lost Tseng's attention. A couple of men came in and were carrying on with a distasteful conversation.

"Distasteful?" Lazard asked, knowing that it wasn't Reno's usual choice of words.

"Okay…" Reno said, "Obnoxious… more'n me… They were talkin 'bout women in a 'distasteful' manner… sick kind'a shit that ya don't normally talk 'bout… 'least not'n public—was a bit hardcore, ya know?"

"Not really," Lazard honestly answered, but he urged Reno to continue anyway.

"Well, thought I'd make a joke to lighten the mood an I guess I said the wrong thing."

"What did you say?"

"Told 'im that one'a the men could pass as his father."

"I see," Lazard replied, though according to Genesis, Lazard's expression stated that he clearly didn't 'see' and looked puzzled, "And then what happened?"

"Exactly what I told ya… He kind'a snapped. One moment, he was talkin to me. I made a joke—bad taste, I know—and then quicker'n I could've reacted, he was over at the other table and just… started beatin on the guy. Kind'a brutal, ya know. Never seen nothin like it. 'Least not from Tseng… Did'n even know he was capable of being that…

"Well, anyway, as I said, I tried to stop 'im but he pushed me away an he was kind'a stronger'n I expected. Guess it was adrenaline or somethin. I dunno. I did'n wanna, but I had to call in Gongaga's security to help me—an yes, I know, I should'n have gotten anyone else involved. Shinra's business is Shinra's business, blah, blah, blah…

"But I could'n jus let 'im go at it the way he was an, well, I could'n stop 'im either."

"Gaia…" Lazard responded, "I said I'd take responsibility for his actions."

"Heh… I don't think anyone can take responsibility for what he did. Don't get me wrong. I thought it was a good idea too. I jus… dunno what happened… Like I said, he was fine; then he wasn't… I dunno… I jus… Never seen 'im like that before, ya know?"

Apparently, according to Genesis who sat in on the whole thing since he was also in Gongaga at the time and was one of the people that came in to help stop the commotion, Tseng broke the man's legs with his bare hands and nearly snapped his necked before they stopped him.

"I hear he may be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life," Genesis confided in regards to the other man, "It would appear that your little tonberry has quite the bite."

_Quite the bite, Indeed_, I silently agreed as we sparred in the training room and I tried to make sense out of the whole thing. Tseng wasn't the type of man to lose control like that. At least, that's what I believed, and when Genesis told me that the President was giving him one more chance solely due to Rufus' plea, I found myself needing to understand more of what really happened.

"When does he return?" I asked.

"They won't release him from custody until everything blows over," Genesis answered before he came running at me and struck with his sword and I blocked it. Then he studied me closely as we stood face to face and he mused that, "You really have no idea why he'd do such a thing, do you?"

"None," I answered. Then I pushed him back and waited for him to attack again, knowing that he was always on the offensive.

"Curious," he mused, "You've taken it upon yourself to claim him as your own and yet you know absolutely nothing about him."

"So?"

"So…? That's right… He's not really yours, is he?" he coyly asked, "From what I've gathered, he'll have nothing to do with you anymore." Then he struck again and nearly got the better of me. "Poor Sephiroth," he feigned as we stood face to face once more, "To think of all the effort you put into making him yours only to have him reject you as no other ever has."

"Well," I responded, before I pushed him away again and turned the table by putting him on the defensive when I unexpectedly charged and struck. He blocked well and we were face to face again, close enough for me to purr into his face that, "I guess I'm fine with it as long as I know that no one else can have him either."

Then I pushed him to the floor and walked away while muttering, "I win," and Genesis quietly mused that, "One day, my dear friend, your smugness will get the better of you."

As a response, I briefly stopped, turned my head slightly, and then I walked out. I figured it was best not to respond since he'd fired me up to a point to where I could no longer focus on not killing him out of sheer bitterness.

* * *

><p>It took months for Tseng to come back to Midgar. According to what I'd gathered, he was in some kind of counselling that Lazard had ordered him to undergo. No one ever really knew what it was that set Tseng off though. Yet rumours flooded throughout the company as they always did.<p>

Some of them were under the belief that maybe the man he attacked was his father, due to what Reno had said. Some believed that he might have been abused and finally took his chance to exact vengeance. Regardless, Tseng later confessed to me that he'd never seen the man before and that he really didn't know why he did it, even though I never fully believed him myself.

Well, during that time, while Tseng was still in Gongaga and promising never to return, his apartment caught fire due to faulty wiring. However, the department wasn't willing to dismiss the idea of foul play, and some even suspected that he might have set it up himself in order to destroy every last memory of a life he could no longer regain.

I highly doubted it was the case though. I knew he was depressed. He was drowning inside, but I also knew that he would have never destroyed the memories of his daughter, or any of the other good things he believed he had before it was taken away.

In my eyes, something like this would only set him back further than he already was.

Nonetheless, it happened. I remember it well. It was raining, the alarm in the building went off, and when I heard word that it was Tseng's apartment, I ran up there against the obstacles that stood in my way, knowing full-well that he couldn't afford to lose anything more.

He'd already lost too much as it was. He lost everything that meant anything to him, along with his respect and dignity, and now, any memories of his past—pictures, keepsakes, things that meant something to him were about to go up in smoke and I quickly grabbed everything that I could while being ordered to get the hell out of the way so that they could extinguish the fire.

It wasn't for the sake of valiancy or salvaging anything that I could have between us though. I wasn't trying to be his hero and I'd already succumbed to the belief that it was over between us. It was simply due to the fact that I cared about the man and nothing else, and when he returned to discover that he'd lost even more, he was sent to meet with Lazard and the President to hear their condolences.

They were more than willing to pay for arrangements until he could find other accommodations, and that was when I thoughtlessly barged in to offer my own accommodations.

"Forgive me," I said, "I heard the news and feel that offering my spare room to the Turk is the least I can do."

Naturally, the President regarded us both with suspicious glances as Tseng's lips tightened and he remained silent. I knew he still hated me. But I wouldn't hear of him being displaced. As far as I was concerned, he needed someone to care for him and keep an eye on him, and since no one else was offering, I figured that I'd do the honour by putting him on the spot.

It wasn't my intention to put him in a situation where he felt he couldn't refuse due to the company he was in the presence of, and as I found out later, Rufus had also offered his accommodations only to be met with his father's disapproval over the belief that they couldn't be trusted together. Even Reno had offered to give up his one bedroom apartment and was shot down by Tseng due to the fact that he refused to sleep in the wasteland that Reno called a home.

"Are you sure?" the President asked, "I've heard that the two of you have suffered some kind of 'falling out' since his idiotic rampage."

"I'm rarely home," I explained while avoiding the urge to retort to the insult, and Tseng merely shrugged as if he couldn't have cared less.

"Very well then," the President responded, "If it's fine with the two of you, it's fine with me. Not to mention that it'll be a hell of a lot cheaper for me as well." Then he let out a hearty chuckle while Lazard frowned at him in distaste and Tseng emptily stared at me through the reflection of the window behind the President's desk while I ignored the subtle feeling that I just overstepped what was left of my bounds with him.


	8. Retribution and Progress

**Retribution and Progress**

* * *

><p>His taste is like bitter tears in my mouth—gliding, suffocating, and soothing. The familiar movement of the locked embrace is comforting and distressing at the same time. Then he pulls away and I remember why it feels that way.<p>

_"Tonberry…" he whispers, "Your eyes… I never tire of the way they look at me."_

"How… can I see you?" I ask as I stare into a dream of a silvery haze and the feel of his thumbs stroke my shoulders. They feel bare, like naked skin against skin as those cat-like eyes stare upon me through a view of frosted glass.

"Because you choose to," he answers and faintly smiles while leaning closer so he can knowingly purr a secret he wishes to share, "You see what you want to…"

For a moment, I wonder. I nearly believe it before I doubt it, and I pull back from an image that shatters. Shards split apart like pieces of glass from a memory. A thousand splinters of things I never wanted. Yet I yearned for them.

"What's it like?" he coyly asks in that same whispery voice that purrs in a manner of toying. Silver strands flow like waves in floating images that won't mend as he watches me with hungering eyes, "Being torn between us?"

"Torn?" I ask, unable to hide the innocence of the question as my head swims in an ocean of dizzying confusion.

Then I understand.

He speaks of Vincent.

"I…" I start, not really knowing what I'm saying before I finish with a fact that answers nothing, "He's dead."

"That upsets you," he responds, no feelings of remorse or disappointment are present.

"But…" he says, and coyly smiles at me like he's playing a game and asks, "Are you sure about that?"

Then he tilts his head and grimly regards me when he adds, "Consider the source of that information."

Little time passes and the image in the shards disappear into darkness. No solution to the puzzles I attempt to solve and only more pieces that don't fit are in my presence. I feel a chill and grasp at nothing but air when I attempt to cover myself.

But there is nothing. I am naked and exposed, feeling vulnerable to nothing but the darkness I'm surrounded by.

The feelings of loneliness and futility are overwhelming and I begin to fall backwards while making no attempt to stop myself.

Let it happen…

There's nowhere to go from here. I've no will to stop myself from drowning anymore.

But something stops me from being swallowed into the abyss. My back hits a cold slate and I'm suddenly lying down—looking up.

My eyes are frozen ahead and I can't move.

There's a strange clicking and soft beeps from somewhere nearby. The sounds of feet quickly shuffle about. They're accompanied by the sound of something on wheels that squeak as if they're starving for oil while a fan runs somewhere in the distance.

_Whirring… whirring…_

I try to see but all that's visible is a bright light that washes my vision.

"There," says a voice.

It's close but it sounds far away and under water. The tone is familiar and it sends chills down my spine.

"That'll do for now," he says, sounding as if he'd lifted something heavy and is exhausted, "That dose should keep you docile for as long as I need you."

That's when I see his face. He peers over me with a familiar expression. Thick lenses cover his eyes that are framed with thin black lashes. His hair is slick and loosely pulled back. Thin strands fall forward as he leans closer and confides something to me.

"I almost thought you were a lost cause… Vincent, here," he says as he tilts his head to a direction that I can't see, "Is a homophobe… However, he made no complaint about lending a… Well… Let's just say… he's put up no fight to share himself with you, hehehe."

His laughter drowns my words when I mutter "Hojo…" like I'm intoxicated. Then a needle stings my neck and I wince—"Ah!"

"Of course, a man with no will is hardly a man at all," he muses while he wipes my neck with drenched cotton, "His only wish is to die."

With a grating chuckle, he steps out of my sight and the faint clicking begins again.

_Click-click… clickety-click-click…_

He's typing, I think, and I give it no more thought while I hear him speaking as his voice grows distant.

"However, it's difficult to kill something that's already dead… let alone allow it to die… I suppose that was my first mistake.

"Good news though," he continues. His voice grows louder again as he approaches and leans over me again.

I can feel him stroking my cheek but I'm not sure if that's what he's doing.

"Without him, I'd have nothing to correct my mistakes with, and your poor mother…" he trails off as he removes his glasses and leans even closer—too close for comfort, and his hand moves from my cheek to my chest.

_Moving… moving… so dizzy… _

"Where would she be without you?"

"What are you… doing to me…?" I breathe out, eyes heavy and mostly slurring the words together. Though I don't think he hears me because he moves closer as if to hear me while whispering something that disturbs me.

"You look… so much… like her…"

Something causes me to jolt then. I don't know what it is or why, and I'm suddenly floating, kneeling and feeling dizzy. Across from me, stands Sephiroth.

The sound of a slow heartbeat accentuates a trapped and anxious feeling while my breath becomes louder. It's like I'm under water and it drowns out the sounds around me as it climbs inside and reverberates through my bones and my skull.

_Thump-thump… thump-thump… _

"Tonberry," he says as he coldly looks down at me and I struggle to make out his words, "I never told you…"

"Told me what?" I ask as I look down and see myself lying on the floor of a glowing forest.

"I did it to protect you," he says, but I barely hear him.

I'm surrounded by remnants and I see him lying over me. Silver hair buries me and warms me like a blanket. He's talking to me. Imaginary fingers intertwine with my own and he presses his cheek to mine while he whispers into my ear.

"Come with me…"

I don't know how to though. Instead, I only stare at the sparkling sky, imagining that he's a dream. Liquid runs from the outer corners of my eyes, wetting the hair at my temples as it tries to reach the ground and I watch the stars grow larger and blurrier.

I no longer hear their demands—only his voice—until a single word tears me to shreds.

In the distance, I hear someone say, "Cure3," and I scream in a thousand voices, inside my head and out. The sound of its chorus sounds foreign and unfamiliar to me, like it's coming from someone other than me. To soothe me, his fingers tighten around mine and he buries his face into my neck—so familiar, so warm—but it doesn't offer the comfort it once used to.

"Let go, my Tonberry," he whispers in a heartfelt way.

"NYAAAGGGHHH!"

Good Leviathan. I can't control it anymore. The pain rips into parts of my body that I never knew I could feel, and Sephiroth's silver hair turns red, deeper, and deeper in anticipation. All I can focus on is the colour.

It's so… dark…

Then he disappears.

The forest disappears and I'm suddenly in a wild embrace, feeling suffocated and ashamed as my fingers dig into a red cloak that smells of old earth and black hair that smells the same. I've seen him before but I can't place where. His mouth locks to mine in a way that never wants to let go. It's full of hunger and raw desire. Animalistic urges heat up in my veins and swell, and I hold back only because I fear what I might feel if I allow myself to let go.

What I want though, is to embrace it.

_Vincent…_

I say his name in my mind—never out loud for fear of the guilt while wondering, _What am I doing…?_

Then without warning, I'm standing in an open space and I'm facing the barrel of his gun. I see Sephiroth, sword readied behind me in the reflection of the cold metal that aims at my head—It's always my head. Red eyes accuse me of deserving the fate I'm bestowed with, and green eyes… they hunger for it, waiting for the day I'll be his again.

I don't flinch.

I only think, _I'm allowing it to happen again._

That's when I feel it, the slow penetration of dull pressure from behind and the taste of copper fills my mouth—not so much the pain, and like a flash of red before my closed eyes…

_BANG!_

—Tseng

* * *

><p>"Leviathan…" he breathes out when he awakens with a jolt.<p>

His eyes are normal—a deep rose-brown for the flash of a second. Then they return to a blinded silver and he moves forward, quickly enough to catch himself in the choke-hold of the collar Genesis has adorned him with.

The dog, as he puts it, brings it upon himself, and Tseng quietly mutters as he grasps at the collar in a futile attempt to loosen it and remembers who and where he is, "have mercy…"

"Mercy?" Genesis musically asks.

He sits at the table and leans forward to peer through the bedroom door and curiously regards Tseng. Then he puts down the old steak knife that he found. It seemed as though it were good enough to clean the dirt from his nails with it.

"Another bad dream?" he asks, and then he knowingly smirks as if it amuses him, "You've been having them rather persistently… Perhaps you would sleep better if you'd quit being too stubborn to use the bed."

He stands then and stretches his entire body as if he'd been sitting for too long while he yawns out, "Of course, I realize the floor is a more fitting place for a dog."

In many ways, it didn't help that Genesis had knocked him out the night before and left him where he fell. They were exercising their tongues in their usual game of banter. Tseng went too far, angering Genesis as he usually does, and he paid the price for it.

With a dull shake to his head to suggest that he's dizzy, Tseng rubs at the sore spot on his head and snorts. Then he reaches to the bed beside him and uses it to pull himself up and mutters, "I suppose that's why you left me there."

Genesis doesn't answer.

Instead, he walks to the door and stares at Tseng for a moment in tired study.

"Your neck is red," he states, and then he walks closer to Tseng and stands in front of him while admitting that, "Perhaps I should remove the collar."

"Leave it," Tseng responds, and he blindly brushes Genesis' hands away from his neck while he sarcastically snickers, "It's fitting."

"Perhaps," Genesis agrees as he continues to study Tseng as if he's concerned. He tilts his head and watches Tseng closely while he rubs at his head again and steadies himself as if he's dizzy, "However, if it's mercy you want—"

"I said, 'LEAVE IT'!" Tseng demands.

This time, he angrily pushes Genesis away from him as if he means it and Genesis merely frowns at him as he watches him stumble to regain his balance.

"Very well," he finally says, "You've obviously awakened in a bad mood." Then he shrugs and walks back into the kitchen to light the wood in the stove, "Have it your way."

"My way," Tseng bitterly mutters as he rubs at his head once more and shakes it as if to shake the dizziness away, "I believe my way would be different from…" For a moment he pauses as he lets out a heavy sigh and gathers the chain to stop it from pulling on the collar, and he solemnly breathes out, "This…"

For the longest time, Tseng stands in his room. He leans against the bedpost and quietly feels the links in the chain as if he's studying them. One link after another, he runs his fingers over them, attempting to feel every possible imperfection so that he can see them in his mind. He's done this countless times before—so much that it's becoming a routine.

Genesis has started to play along, creating his own part of the routine. Every now and then, he'll look over his shoulder with a look that resembles compassion or sympathy. However, he never does or says anything about it. In his mind, Tseng got off lucky and deserves worse than the fate he was dealt.

Neither one of them trusts the other. Nor do they believe anything the other says, and as a result, the game continues when Tseng lets out a heavy sigh.

He grows bored of the chain and steps away from the bedpost while asking as he carefully counts his steps and walks out of the room, "How did Vincent die?"

"How many times do you want me to tell you?" Genesis responds as he grabs a pan from the bottom cupboard and holds his hand over the stove to test its heat.

"As many times as it takes for you to answer the question," Tseng wryly responds.

Then he snorts while Genesis frowns and he rests his hand on the sofa so that he can use it as a point of reference when he realizes that his chain is caught on something and he can't go any farther.

"I believe I've answered that question more times than I care to," Genesis tells him as he cracks an egg into the pan, and then another, "Out of all your lovers, he was the only one that I liked."

"I see," Tseng sarcastically muses as he tugs on the chain to no avail, "I guess I must have missed the obvious signs. Or perhaps you were going for a less obvious approach when you presented yourself as an indulgent psychopath and held him against his will."

"Perhaps I only do that to people I like," Genesis darkly mutters as he carefully watches the breakfast he's making and clenches his jaw. Then he turns around as if he's suddenly irritated and quickly walks to where Tseng snagged his chain and releases it.

"You still haven't answered my question," Tseng thanklessly persists as he carefully gathers the freed chain and Genesis returns to the stove to continue making their breakfast.

"I don't recall you answering any of mine."

"That's because I can't think of any lies to the questions I have no answers to," Tseng solemnly answers.

"I see… You simply prefer to twist truths."

"Like you, if it suits me… Yes," Tseng factually answers, and then he clears his throat and suggests, "Perhaps you should try asking a question I know the answer to."

Tseng sighs then, heavily, and he decides to count his steps to the chair at the table opposite to the one Genesis prefers. He carefully pulls it out and purposefully catches a link of the chain on the back of the chair to keep it from pulling too heavily on the collar while he sits.

With a shake to his head, Genesis lets out a light snort and removes a boiling pot of water from the stove while assuming that, "You think I'm lying to you about him."

"The thought has crossed my mind," Tseng answers as Genesis pours the water into a cup and adds some tea leaves.

"As it does mine when you respond as vaguely to my own questions. It's frustrating, isn't it?"

"I don't know how many ways I can tell you that I don't know what I don't know," Tseng tiredly responds as the tea and a plate of scrambled eggs is set in front of him.

"The last time I saw Angeal…" he trails off and rubs at his cheeks as if to awaken himself, "Was before the last time you saw him."

"You're lying," Genesis casually accuses. Then he takes a bite of the eggs and Tseng does the same before they both show an expression of distaste and push their plates away.

"This is terrible," Tseng points out, and Genesis simply reminisces over the fact that, "Yet you'd eat Sephiroth's food."

Then he sits back and rests his foot on the edge of the table while crossing his arms over his chest and studies Tseng. Tseng merely sits there and brushes a stray hair from his face, bracing himself as if he's partially expecting Genesis to kick the table into him, but he doesn't.

Instead, he lets out a heavy sigh and asks, "What is it with you and your lovers?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your track record," Genesis clarifies, "Rumour has it that your first lover was a real piece of work. He was cruel and humiliated you before he disappeared, another one was ill. I believe he was the one right before you met your wife-to-be. From what I heard, he died in your arms, and we all know what happened to your wife—a murder-suicide that you blamed yourself for until just recently…

"Let's see… Sephiroth tried to kill you and has apparently died twice, Rufus tried to manipulate and lie to you and was murdered by Reno and no one knows _where_ Reno is—we all know that there was something strange between the two of you from the get-go. We just don't know what it is or was…

"Then there was Vincent… _Poor_ Vincent—"

"I've heard enough," Tseng interjects and grabs his chain while quickly standing.

"I've noticed that you dislike the mention of his name more than anyone else's. Is it because you feel responsible for ruining what was left of his pathetic life…?

"Do you ever ask yourself if he loved you?" Genesis asks as Tseng attempts to go back to his room and Genesis jumps to his feet to grab Tseng by the collar, quickly jerking him backwards so that his back hits Genesis' chest while an alarmed grunt escapes him, "Or do you tend to skip that part and wonder why you let him _use_ you as a _substitute_ to fill that empty void of his that only _one _person could ever fill…

"Lucrecia?" Genesis asks as Tseng winces when he tries to pull away and Genesis lightly drags his forefinger down Tseng's cheek while hissing into his ear, "That's who you were to him, _Dog_. Nothing more!"

Then Genesis snorts at the irony in his next thought and lightly laughs out, "Yet you want to believe that he's alive… Perhaps he'll come and _rescue_ you since Sephiroth's fate is finally _sealed_…. Or perhaps you just like being…"

For a moment Genesis pauses and stares at the rawness on Tseng's neck as if he's suddenly mesmerized by it while Tseng digs his fingers into the space between the collar and his neck to keep it from choking him, while Genesis mutters out, "Fucked," before he roughly grabs Tseng by the waist and carries him to the room while Tseng struggles with him and tries to break free.

"Let me go!" Tseng yells as his feet hit the doorframe to stop Genesis from dragging him in there, "GENESIS! Let go of me!"

"You no longer give the orders, Dog," Genesis grimly tells him, "You lost that privilege the day _Shinra_ set _you_ and _your_ hounds against me."

All the while, Tseng silently calls my name in his head. The fact that he resents calling it, makes it hang even thicker in the air.

* * *

><p>"I'm nowhere near being as mad at you as I am at myself…"<p>

That was Tseng's favourite saying. According to him, he was never mad at anyone else at any given point in time. His war was—and always will be—with himself.

If someone upset him, it was his fault for letting it happen. The same reasoning applied to angering, deceiving, lying… it was always his fault. It was his fault for being a big enough fool to allow such things to crawl under his radar.

It was something that wasn't entirely apparent to me until I invited him into my home and he accused me of holding him hostage. According to him, he allowed it to happen and he was angry enough at himself to project that anger onto me.

The first day was the worst preview of what would follow. I embarrassed him in front of the President. I left him no choice but to agree to his new living arrangement, and somewhere along the lines, it had become my fault that he needed a drink. It was also my fault that he couldn't drink.

But worst of all, it was his own fault for allowing it to happen.

"You just couldn't wait to dig your claws in, could you?" he quietly accused after the door was closed and he dropped his bags where he stood like he had no intention of going any farther than the door.

I remained silent while he darkly glared at me in accusation and waited for an answer that never came.

It seemed the better option to a rhetorical question.

Yet it didn't help my case.

Instead, it only made him angrier and he threw a bottle of pills at me from his pocket before he outright attacked me.

According to him, I was the last person that he wanted to wind up with and this was all a twisted scheme that catered to my grand plan.

All the while, he physically lashed out with those cat-like reflexes of his and I did my best to defend myself without hurting him in the process. He swung at me and I blocked with my forearm. He kicked and I intercepted.

All the while, I stood my ground and silently let him go at it until he exhausted himself.

Maybe half an hour had passed, or maybe it was an hour. By the time he gave in he wound up heavily panting with his back pressed to me and his hair was in a wild mess while I did my best to hang onto him to keep him from falling to the floor.

His shirt had come out of his pants and his sleeve was torn, and all I said after I assumed he was finally done was, "I put some leftovers in the fridge. It's yours if you're hungry. If not, feel free to set up your room however you please—there are clean sheets in the closet."

Then I let go and he fell to the floor before I walked towards my room, feeling slightly sore and giving little thought to the fact that I didn't recall him being that strong in the past.

* * *

><p>Weeks passed and things remained the same. I stayed away and accepted any job that I could so that he could have the place to himself and destroy it if the need arose. All that really mattered to me was that he was taken care of, and to my knowledge, Reno and Rufus were doing the best they could.<p>

They went to great lengths to ensure that he didn't get his hands on any alcohol after the President decided that he would start running regular tests on the man in order to find any excuse to fire him.

"Sabbatical or not," The President argued, "I'm losing money each day that incompetent wreck stays at home. It would be cheaper for me to just fire him and send him back to Wutai."

"You're not the one that brought him from Wutai," Rufus pointed out, "It would be more of a waste of money for you to send him back than it would to simply fire him and throw him on the streets."

"'Course," Reno muttered, "Ya can't really send 'im out on the streets either…"

At that, he rewarded himself a curious glance from both Rufus and Rufus' father.

"Well," he casually went on and tapped his baton on his shoe, "He ain't exactly stayin anywhere on yer dollar. Technically, it's more or less up ta Sephiroth as to whether Tseng winds up without a roof over his head or not."

"You guys think this is funny, don't you?" The President asked after letting out a heavy sigh to show that he wasn't impressed.

"No one's laughing," Rufus pointed out, "And technically," he stressed as he eyed Reno through the corner of his eye while contemplating his next sentence, "Tseng is by far the most capable Turk you've ever hired… You even went so far as to say it yourself."

"He's not the only capable Turk under my employment," the President argued.

"In fact, at the present moment, he's the least capable. Heck, even this dipshit over here," the President stated while motioning his hand over to Reno in a careless wave, "Is more capable than he is, and that's with taking his screw-ups into consideration."

"Give us some time, father. We'll take the burden away from you by doing what we can. Reno and I have agreed to do whatever it takes to ensure that you'll have your exemplary Turk back within six months."

"Really?" the President sarcastically asked, "And what if I send Reno away on a mission?"

"Then it's on my shoulders."

"Your shoulders…" the President repeated, muttering the words like he was considering them. Then he sat back in his chair and slowly tapped his fingers on the surface of his desk while thinking of the obstacles he could throw at Rufus.

"You know, I could easily send you away as well, for good."

"I'm aware of that."

"However, I can't pass up an opportunity to watch you fail, Rufus. I'll give you three months to bend that whacko into shape," he stated as he got up from his desk and motioned to the door, "And if you fail, it's one less paycheque that I have to approve."

Needless to say, Rufus responded well to challenges, despite the narrowed eyes that he glared at his father with and the fact that the President sent Reno away every chance that he got.

* * *

><p>I, on the other hand, was presented with an unusual obstacle. It was one I never would have expected when I went for my regular check up and Hojo gave me the cold shoulder. Everything that he did either hurt or stung more than it usually did. Even when he took my blood pressure, it seemed tighter than it normally did.<p>

It seemed to me that he was even going out of his way to avoid eye contact and that his jaw was unusually clenched. It wasn't until he opened his mouth near the end that I was enlightened, even though I wasn't entirely sure what the real issue was or what it was that I was being enlightened to.

"There's a Turk in your apartment," he curtly said as he removed a device from my arm and visually inspected the area, "Why?"

"I felt sorry for him," I answered and was quickly rewarded with a sharp slap to the face.

"You're lying!" he accused while I rubbed at my cheek and stared at him in bewilderment, "It's not in your genetic makeup to feel sorry for people! You're superior to the common man and his pathetic and inferior emotions!"

Then he lowered his voice and suddenly hissed with a reddened face while pointing off to a random direction that, "There's more to the reason why that Turk is in your apartment and I want to hear you say it!"

"What are you implying?"

"Turks and Soldiers don't mix, Sephiroth. There are dangers that you are not aware of."

"Tseng and I aren't mixing," I angrily growled at him as I stood and rubbed at my arm and started to walk out, "He stays in my apartment and I stay away from it—simple as that."

"That's ridiculous!" he laughed out, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that after seeing you on your knees with your tongue shoved down his throat?"

"What?" I weakly asked as I stopped and turned around, and then a sudden flash of the hospital ran through my head and I vaguely recalled that he might have been standing there.

"Don't waste my time by trying to justify your actions. It's obvious you weren't attempting CPR, hehehe—I'm not a fool, Sephiroth! I—Everyone knows what you are! You've made no attempt to ever hide it!

"Tseng—He's far less conspicuous than the raging ball of hormones that you are, but I know—"

"You know what?" I threateningly asked, suddenly feeling defensive as I took a step forward while he haughtily laughed at me.

"I see," he responded, still laughing while he wiped at his brow and shook his head, "It would appear that he'll share his body with you but nothing else."

"I know enough," I cautiously responded, half-suspecting that he was trying to trick me into saying something by acting like he already knew.

"I doubt that," he dryly said, "His marriage was a sham, Sephiroth. He did it to appease his mother—you might have already known that. But what you might not have known is that that boy would drop to his knees on a whim for any foreign trader that showed interest in him.

"He was an embarrassment to his country and brought nothing but shame to his family from the day he was born!"

"I'm aware of his history," I lowly said, half-lying while Hojo scrutinized me like he knew I was.

"I see," he cautiously stated, "Then you must know that he has his father's temper."

"He doesn't know his father."

"Ha-ha-ha! He knows of his father!" Hojo clarified, "And there is no denying the presence of that man's genetics in that boy. What he did to the boy's mother was beyond… That child should have been mi—never mind! Just get him out of your home before you regret it!"

"You lived in Wutai…" I slowly realized, "You knew his family."

"Everyone knows Tseng's family!" Hojo shrieked while flailing his arms in the air for emphasis, "His mother is Godo Kisaragi's sister!"

"Kisaragi…" I muttered, recognizing the name and suddenly wondering how in the hell Tseng managed to land himself a job in Shinra if he was related to the Kisaragis. They were a prominent family in Wutai—highly political—and we were at war with them.

"Ha!" Hojo blurted out as he quickly walked around his table and laughed out, "It would appear that you're not aware of his history."

Then he spun around and leaned over his table to peer into my eyes when he wryly confided that, "Shinra hired Tseng as an informant.

"He's a turncoat, Sephiroth. He turned on his own country out of nothing more than shear spite, and all the while, he plays the innocent and loving son to his mother in hopes that he'll never disappoint her… He lies through his teeth straight to her face, despite everything that she's given up and done for him.

"He's thankless and can't be trusted, and you'll learn that the hard way if you keep him around—He'll use you as a tool!"

"You're wrong," I argued as I solemnly stood there and drank in everything he was telling me. Not only was he making me somewhat suspicious of Tseng, but he was also feeding into my growing suspicions about him. He told me he never knew Tseng. He even went so far as to act like he'd never seen him before, and now, all of the sudden, he's known him and his family all his life and is suddenly an expert on them.

Up until that point, Tseng was nothing but a 'Turk—a useless Turk'. Now all of the sudden, Hojo might as well have been part of his family for all I knew.

"Am I?" he sarcastically asked, "Then tell me, Sephiroth… Why is a grown man like him chasing after a young man such as yourself? You're aware that he's an opportunist, aren't you?"

"Yes," I answered, knowing full-well that he was nothing less than an opportunist, "But he wasn't the one that was chasing after me."

I figured that part took Hojo off guard because he looked at me like he wasn't expecting me to make such a claim.

"But he's not your type!" he shrieked, "How could you be the one to chase after him?

"He's nowhere near as stupid or… built like the idiotic Soldiers you tend to chase after!" he spat out while I did my best to brush off the insult.

"The dumber the better!" he resounded. "Those are your words, as much as your _ways_ sicken me… I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU BETTER!"

"You didn't raise me at all," I growled back at him, and that was when he moved faster than I expected and smacked me across the face again, much harder than the last one.

"Stay away from him, Sephiroth!" he demanded again, "If you must ruin someone's life, find somebody else's to ruin!"

The last part didn't really mean anything to me at the time. I figured it was just Hojo firing off like he normally did. In some ways, I wish I'd questioned him more about a lot of things he said that day, including his own contradictions about Tseng ruining my life and then me suddenly ruining his.

Instead, all I did was tell him that, "You're not my father," as if to say that he had no right to tell me what I could or couldn't do, and then I walked out while rubbing at my sore cheek.

* * *

><p>Two-and-a-half months went by and I had no idea if Rufus and Reno were making any progress or not. The only updates I got were from Genesis, and his updates were more toying than anything else.<p>

More often than not, Genesis would focus on how close Rufus and Tseng must have been in order for Rufus to go out of his way for him. He made no attempt to hide the obvious implications and went overboard with his poetic whimsy over how dire it must have been making me feel.

"To think, Rufus alone with him, flaunting his attraction to him every chance that he gets…" was Genesis' favourite spiel.

That wasn't all though. When the banter over Rufus' infatuation with Tseng would wear off, he'd turn to his suspicions over Reno's interest in Tseng.

"Personally, I wouldn't trust that little rat anywhere near him if he were mine. Rufus makes no effort to hide his dubious nature—his intentions are clear. But Reno is far more manipulative and conniving, don't you think?"

"I know," I admitted, "But I doubt I need to worry about him."

"Why's that?"

"He's not interested in men."

"Oh, that's right," Genesis coyly reminisced, "He turned you down when he was in soldier, didn't he?" Then he sarcastically snickered at the thought and said, "And no one ever turns you down, so he mustn't be interested in men at all. Surely, you must have absolutely nothing to worry about with that little rat around your lover."

Honestly, Reno was one of my bigger concerns. I didn't bother wasting my imagination on Rufus because I'd known from the start that he was infatuated with Tseng. He made no attempt to hide it and everyone knew. Actually, everyone knew that Rufus was infatuated with any male that moved and most of us wrote it off, believing that the whole thing might have been nothing more than a façade to aggravate his father.

Reno, on the other hand, was far more secretive. He was lewd, disrespectful, and devious to the point to where it got him kicked out of Soldier, or as he liked to put it—he was transferred because he was too smart, which he was, and that aggravated me even more.

He was attractive and overly eager to impress whenever he was in Tseng's presence. Yet when Tseng wasn't around, his true colours would come out as if he no longer needed to hide who he was. That led to unspoken questions over a paradox that was lazy and conniving to a fault.

It wasn't his attractiveness or behaviour around Tseng that bothered me though. Nor was it the fact that he always acted flattered whenever Rufus would flirt with him—I was partially convinced he was only doing it to gain an advantage. It also had nothing to do with the fact that he turned me down cold when he was in Soldier and I thought he was a sure thing.

It was the fact that no one knew anything about him. Once you thought you had him figured out, he would adapt, change, and prove you wrong. It was that trait that drove me crazy when I thought of him being alone with Tseng.

I simply never knew which direction to expect him to come from, and I simply had no idea what I was supposed to expect, if anything at all.

Well, besides that, I was on my way home and not sure as to whether I should have actually gone home or not. If Tseng was making progress, it would probably be best if I allowed it to continue and didn't show my face until he was fully back to normal.

Yet on the other hand, there was a clean change of clothes and several other items that I needed to collect before I could go for another long run away from my own home and I partially hoped that he was asleep or had gone somewhere for the evening.

Unfortunately, when I arrived, Tseng was sitting on the sofa by himself and reading a book. No one else was present and I quietly closed the door behind me while suddenly regretting the fact that I completely forgot about my personal vow to stay away from him.

As a result, I mentally kicked myself and decided to go to my room to grab a few things as quickly as I could but I stopped behind the sofa when he casually said as he turned to the next page that, "Dinner's in the oven."

When I didn't respond and merely turned my head slightly, he added that, "I wanted to keep it warm for you."

_Oh…_ I thought and suddenly wondered if he was talking to me or if someone else was there that I hadn't noticed.

Then he clarified it for me.

"I overheard that you were returning today and figured that you'd probably want to grab a few things."

"I see," I answered and continued to stand there until he finally put his book down, stood up and emptily stared at me for a moment. Then he turned and went to his room and closed the door behind him.

_Must be the new medication,_ I assumed.

Despite the fact that Genesis said they were making progress with him, I was finding it a little hard to believe that Rufus made that much progress.

Nonetheless, I pulled the casserole he made out of the oven and wondered if it was poisoned. Maybe that was why he was suddenly behaving so pleasant. I'd deserve it, I figured, and I decided to take the chance and eat it out of the hopes that it was a genuine act of good will.

After that, I tidied up and went into my room to carry ahead with my original plan. I figured I could go to my place in Junon and get some extra time put in there while he continued with his progress in my absence.

That never happened though. Instead, he tapped on my door and invited himself in before I had the chance to say anything.

"Are you leaving again?" he asked and motioned his hand to my bags after I stopped long enough to regard him.

"I'm giving you your space," I replied.

"I see," he said, and then we stood there for a moment longer in an uncomfortable silence before he finally broke it and invited himself to sit on the edge of my bed, "My wife was having an affair."

"Your wife?" I asked, not really sure about how else I was supposed to respond to such a random and unexpected revelation.

"Yes," he answered, "I never told you, but I'd known for years."

Then he smiled with a look of irony and peeked into my bag.

"Our sex life wasn't exactly… Well, I think she may have suspected something for some time."

"Between us?" I cautiously asked and kept my distance, not really sure if he was going to suddenly attack me again.

"No," he answered and then he looked at the open drawer in my dresser, "I believe that she may have always suspected that I was…"

Then he shook his head and rubbed at his knees like he wasn't really sure what he wanted to do or say next and I instinctually sat beside him.

We spoke for a long time after that. It was almost like old times when we were first getting to know each other. He told me that the man his wife was having an affair with was a florist and that his body was recently found in Sector 1.

"Guilt," Tseng guessed, even though he sounded like he doubted it.

It was the only logical explanation he could come up with over why the man would suddenly kill himself after the ordeal with his wife and daughter though.

"Unless he had something to do with it," Tseng wryly chuckled before he shook his head at his own bad taste in comments, despite the fact that none of it made sense to him.

He also wondered why he never saw it coming. He knew his marriage was doomed and couldn't understand why his wife had chosen to do what she did when she was already planning on leaving him, regardless of how much he tried to mend the situation.

Then I came along.

From there, I discovered that he'd stopped taking his medication a couple of weeks ago and hadn't touched a drink since his return from Gongaga. It was hard for him. He admitted that the taste of wine was a strong craving for him, and I silently admitted that I didn't fully understand since I never drank.

I tried to though.

For his sake, I'd try anything.

I'd even take it a step further since he told me that he didn't want me to leave. The President finally managed to send Rufus away on protest. Reno was out on the field, and Tseng was frank about the fact that he didn't think he could trust himself if he was left alone.

All the while, I sat there and stared at him. I stared at his hair and admired the depth of it. I stared at his skin and admired the light tan that seemed to have paled since the mako incident. I also stared at his eyes and admired the rich brown that was complimented by the rose and gold flecks near the pupil—so complimented by his dark lashes and brows and so complimentary to my own colourless appearance.

I found myself wanting to touch him—just a subtle stroke to his hair… maybe a light caress across the jaw or cheekbone. He had such a contradictory way about him—Stern, yet yielding; hard, yet soft. Maybe he wouldn't notice if I moved closer. I'd just adjust myself and not sit exactly where I was sitting and I could just rest my hand on his shoulder to show that I was compassionate about what he was talking about.

The only real problem was that I had no idea what he was talking about anymore, I lost him somewhere in my fantasy as I tried to work out the best way to have some kind of contact with him without it seeming like I was trying to have contact.

Going up against a powerful summon would have been easier. I'd just throw some conflicting level three spell at it, slice it up with a little finesse and be done with it while inspiring everyone that watched.

This, on the other hand, seemed to require some type of technique that I was unaccustomed to. Of all the men I'd been with, nothing seemed as complicated as this exotic—and sometimes psychotic—little tonberry that I wanted more than anything else in the world.

His temperament was so volatile and his arrogance was so obnoxious at times that I really had no idea what it was that he inspired within me. Like Hojo mentioned, how was it that I could have become so enchanted with someone as vain and critical as him?

Wasn't being raised by Hojo enough for me? He had all the vanity, arrogance, and criticism in the world and yet I sought for more of it through an insecure and emotionally crippled Turk.

Maybe placing my hand on his shoulder wouldn't be that much of a sin in comparison to everything else I'd done. I'd just give it a little squeeze—a friendly one—and then maybe I'd just subtly stroke it with my thumb while imagining that well-tuned body of his without his shirt on.

I could think of so many ways to take his mind from his pain. I'd take my time, move slow, gentle, watch him closely so that I could gauge every move, touch, and caress to the level of perfection that I wanted to bring it to. He'd never know pleasure like that from another. I'd make sure of it…

"Well," he finally said, dragging me out of my fantasy and back to reality, "I suppose I've taken up enough of your time."

Then he looked at his watch and frowned as he got up, "I know I never thanked you for the accommodations… considering… Well, I suppose I should be thankful."

_Suppose?_

"You're welcome," I muttered as I stared ahead and adjusted my pants when he walked out, softly closing the door behind him.

_Was he trying to make amends? _

I hoped.

But more importantly, I had no idea what the hell just transpired.

"Leviathan…" I muttered, suddenly realizing that I was mentioning his god instead of my own disbelief in them and falling onto my back on the bed while coming to the conclusion that leaving would have been more for my own benefit than for his all the sudden.

Mostly because I was more than certain that being around him was going to be hell.


	9. Amidst the Quagmire

**Amidst the Quagmire**

* * *

><p><strong>My-my, every time I post a new chapter, fanfiction changes the format on how to update my stories and I have to re-learn the process all over again.<strong>

**I realize I took a long time to publish this chapter and I would like to apologize. I haven't given up on it and I don't intend to.**

**To keep you all up to speed, I'm coming to a point in the story to where I had to do a lot of back-tracking to make sure I have my facts fairly straight. In the process, I finally decided to revamp the formatting in Void and Void I. My God, those are hard to read. **

**Anyways, I've already posted the revision of Void and added titles to the chapters to make it easier to navigate. I'm in the process of doing the same to Void I while simultaneously working on this one. Hopefully, this revamp will make both stories more of a joy to read. **

**I'll admit that I'm a comma whore and I'm trying to overcome my addiction to them. When I wrote both Void stories, I added them on purpose to reflect the pauses in Vincent's thought-process. However, in retrospect, it is far too hard to read them because of it.**

**I sincerely hope that I haven't let anyone down and that this chapter was worth the wait.**

* * *

><p>"Genesis!" Tseng yells before repeating himself when Genesis roughly pulls him backwards and Tseng's grip slips on the doorframe.<p>

"_Keep_ your voice _down_!" Genesis hisses as he covers Tseng's mouth and reaches into his pants and Tseng pauses as if he's confused.

"For what purpose?" Tseng blurts out once he squirms enough to slightly free his mouth, "Are we not as alone as you would have me believe?"

"Your voice _sickens_ me," Genesis hisses while he digs around in his pocket and replaces his other hand roughly over Tseng's mouth with an unbreakable grip and Tseng snorts at the excuse with a like-minded expression.

Once Genesis appears to find what he's looking for, he pushes Tseng onto the bed and jumps over top of him to hold him down and quickly replaces his hand over his mouth. Then he takes a careful look at the window and the curtains he taped shut as shadows run over his eyes and he quickly studies them as if he's looking for flaws.

Then he whispers, "Don't move," and, "Shhh," before he carefully removes his hand from Tseng's mouth and pushes his head back so that his neck is exposed.

He moves closer after that and quietly confides that, "Your stubbornness drives me crazy."

With a quick move, Genesis grabs Tseng's hands and roughly yanks them over his head while ignoring the grunt that follows and he removes his own belt. He secures Tseng's wrists with it and grabs Tseng by the jaw and hisses into his ear that, "You should be thankful for everything I've done for you."

The disbelieving furrow in Tseng's brow grows deeper and he squirms under Genesis' weight to find an advantageous position like he's hoping to find a way to escape from the madman but he's countered by every attempt.

"I know you too well," Genesis hisses while he digs into his pants again, "I was trained to learn from my mistakes… and others'… remember?"

Then he sarcastically snickers at Tseng and quickly stabs a small key into the lock on the collar and calmly whispers, "A _perfect_ Soldier, if you will."

"Perfect psych—" Tseng sarcastically resounds and lightly jumps when Genesis runs his fingers over the raw skin on his neck.

"Tch…" Genesis warns as he reaches over to the bed's side table and grabs a handkerchief, "I'd stop with that thought if I were you."

Then he pours some potion from a vial onto the cloth and fully removes the collar and gently dabs the sores on Tseng's neck, "You're hardly at an advantage right now."

"I never was," Tseng steadily states through mildly clenched teeth before he tries to squirm again and Genesis roughly pushes on his chest as a warning not to move,

"_Hmph!_"

All the while, Genesis expresses his regret over the fact that he may very well agree and a subtle tick appears at the corner of his mouth. It quickly dissipates though, as Genesis expresses his thoughts and gently moves his fingers over the raw skin while watching it slowly heal.

"Perhaps that is your own doing," he quietly concludes and Tseng merely lies there, attempting to hide his confusion behind expressionless features while Genesis studies him and a cruel smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"You saying I did this to myself?"

"I'm saying you let it happen," Genesis responds.

"There's a difference… You see…" he says as he lightly brushes The tips of Tseng's hair with his fingers and leans closer to peer into Tseng's silvery eyes, "You're attracted to the fire… the way it burns… devours…

"Perhaps you even envy it… So much that you put yourself in its path. The way I see it," he soothingly lulls as he brushes Tseng's hair from his face with admiring sweeps and Tseng quickly jerks his head from his touch, "You wanted to know what it felt like because you're incapable of feeling anything at all… So you played with it, invited it into your world. You sought the spark it ignited.

"All the while, it burned around you with an intensity that you never noticed. Perhaps you chose to ignore it, forcing it to want your attention. Maybe you even turned a blind eye with the desire of ruin while it answered to your beckoning call. But the fire you sought could never burn brightly enough to reward you. Nor could it be quelled by you.

"And now look at you…" Genesis soothingly purrs out as he strokes Tseng's left cheek with the backs of his fingers, lightly scratching it with his nails and Tseng sneers and breathes out a quick hiss, "You're blinded by that light—burnt out from its ferocious desire to awaken you and you're _still _dead inside.

"Nothing but a shell of a man is left and your world has turned to ashes," Genesis points out as he carefully gets off of Tseng and undoes the belt around his wrists while chillingly adding, "If you can even call yourself a _man_."

For years, Tseng had always read between the lines. It was uncanny. Though it was never an ability he desired and the fact that Genesis left him speechless is a testament to his affliction.

I can only fathom what he feels or thinks, if anything at all as Genesis points out. Yet like the fire Genesis speaks of, I wanted him to notice me. I thought that I could ignite those sparks and warm something inside of him, and I can only wonder what his own interpretation is.

Does he think of me or does he think of Vincent?

Maybe he thinks of Genesis and assumes that it's an analogy to his own bizarre lack of control—Genesis is the fire and Tseng is the substance that smothers him.

On the other hand, Tseng could be thinking about nothing more than the warmth of a fire as he subtly shivers and rubs at his wrists once he realizes that all Genesis wanted to do was remove his collar and heal the wounds on his neck, so it appears.

Then he sits up while Genesis stands a few feet away and puts his belt back on and he runs his fingers along his face as if he's trying to see himself. Maybe he's wondering how much he's changed in appearance, knowing that he's infected with the curse that infected Genesis and me, and maybe he's even stung by the last words that Genesis said to him.

Perhaps, disappointingly, it was the only part of Genesis' analogy that affected Tseng. It might have been the only part he heard, and Genesis knowingly smirks as if his thoughts are in sync with my own.

A quick glance through the corner of his eye confirms it for Genesis, and he lightly shakes his head.

"It's driving you mad, isn't it?" he quietly asks as he adjusts his pants and belt for a better fit, "Unable to see what kind of hideous creature you've become."

Then he smiles and lets out a soft snort of a chuckle while adding, "Perhaps it's an unwarranted blessing that you can't see."

After that, Genesis walks into the sitting area with a dark shadow crossing over his eyes again and he grabs his sword and sheath. Then he equips himself while Tseng pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them.

"You're uncommonly quiet all of the sudden," Genesis quietly observes as he watches the window near the outside door as if he heard something and his eyes grow more shadowed. Then he grabs his coat and puts it on while being careful not to make a sound.

He smiles again when Tseng doesn't answer and looks back to see Tseng resting his chin on his knees as if he's deep in thought and his look turns almost sympathetic.

"You've no need to fret," he softly tells Tseng.

Then he smiles as he wryly points out that, "No one can see you anyway."

After that, he opens the door, leaves, and locks it behind him from the outside.

From one prison to another, is Tseng's predicament, and he lightly winces over a pain that he feels somewhere. However, it's not enough to crack the statuesque appearance he's perfected as his thoughts wander and he keeps his darkening eyes perfectly still and unblinking.

* * *

><p>"What's on your mind?" I once asked him. It was three in the morning and his bare shoulder was exposed from the covers while he silently rested on his side and stared at the clock beside him.<p>

He never answered.

Instead, he merely sighed through his nose and I moved closer to get a better view of his face. He seemed serene. His pale skin reminded me of milk and his soft eyes merely stared at the clock as if he were counting the seconds.

"Can't sleep?" I asked while I brushed his hair with my fingers and spread it over the pillow behind him.

Then I felt a slight unease when I thought of how it reminded me of the black wing of a bird and I moved closer to rest my chin on his shoulder as if to bury it.

"The wind woke me," he muttered.

Then he turned his attention to me and brushed my long bang behind my ear and we merely studied each other.

There was more to it though. I was sure of it when I looked into his eyes and saw the growing shadows behind them. It started after he lost his wife and daughter, and it grew a little more after he received the papers for a recent mission.

It didn't matter that we worked for the same corporation. Our orders were orders and we weren't allowed to discuss classified information outside of our departments. We understood it, but sometimes we needed to talk about it to the people that mattered most to us and we were suffocated by the fact that we couldn't.

I found myself wishing it never existed while I kept my eyes locked to his and placed a small peck on his shoulder and genuinely told him that, "You're very attractive in this light."

I wanted to know everything that there was to know about him, including his thoughts, his dreams, and the truth to the nagging questions Hojo had left me with. He confused me and I found myself watching Tseng more closely than I did in the past, and the more I watched him, the more confused I became over the fact that Tseng genuinely appeared to have no recollection of ever meeting or knowing Hojo before he came to Shinra.

Yet Hojo seemed to know more than I felt he should have known about Tseng.

"Your eyes…" I quietly said as he slightly turned to face me more.

They looked silvery, the way the moon shone across them and it caused a chill to run up my spine while I bit down on my suspicions.

"What about them?"

His question was tired and airy and I slightly smiled down at him while cupping the side of his cheek and I hesitantly whispered that, "They say things."

"Really…" he softly chuckled out and decided to play along with a game that wasn't being played, "And what do they say?"

"Something…" I started, and I lightly brushed my lips on his shoulder before he fully turned and we were facing each other.

Then I closed my eyes and tried to dissipate the images that were going through my mind. Strange desires wanted me to pull him into me in ways that weren't natural, a part of me wanted to merge with him, and another part of me wanted to do unspeakable things to him, and blood… there was always blood…

"Something… Different…"—_dangerous—_I muttered while thinking of something that happened earlier that evening and I curled my fingers with his so that our hands were locked together.

He had no way of knowing how much I loved him and how much I wanted to tell him of my suspicions, and I had no way of telling him something I was told that he didn't want to hear.

So I simply left it at that.

* * *

><p>Before that night, I'd been living in suspicion. The man I invited into my home became more of a stranger to me than I thought possible. He rarely showed his emotions and he kept his thoughts to himself.<p>

We were on better terms with each other but something weighed heavily in the air with a suffocating silence. Maybe I had Hojo to thank for my awakened awareness of how blind I really was.

When I sat across from him at breakfast and watched him read the paper while drinking his tea, I realized that I knew nothing about him. His childhood was a mystery and he only ever told me one thing.

At the time, I thought it was all I needed to know if not more than I cared to know and I quickly came to realize how untrue that was, and I asked him, "How well do you and Hojo know each other?"

"Barely," he casually answered and shrugged while he turned to the next page.

"Hm," I mused as I suspiciously watched him take another sip from his tea and wondered what I could say to draw him out of his shell and I chose a subtle opening, "He lived in Wutai some time ago… Didn't he?"

"I wouldn't know," he casually answered. Then he yawned and refilled his cup.

"So you didn't know that he lived there?"

"I thought that was what I implied," he answered and turned to the next page with disinterest while I tried to think of a way to keep the conversation going without seeming suspicious.

"It's odd that the two of you lived in the same village and never met."

"I had no idea he lived in my village," he answered, "But I don't think it's odd that we never met."

Then he pointed out that, "The man's probably twenty or thirty years older than me, if we so much as brushed shoulders, I doubt I would have noticed."

"Really?" I challenged and attempted to keep the conversation light by teasing him, "I thought you liked older men."

At that, he lightly scoffed and disbelievingly snickered out that, "I have _taste_, Sephiroth."

Then he put the paper down and thoughtfully looked at it while admitting, "Of course, I doubt I wouldn't have noticed a man as disturbing as Hojo."

"Disturbing…" I reflected, and I wondered what it was that Tseng found so disturbing about him. In my eyes, he was eccentric, but hardly disturbing.

"Mm," he muttered after taking a sip and offhandedly commenting on how, "The man gives me the creeps," before he suddenly wondered while turning towards me with his cup halfway to his mouth, "What's with this fascination of me and Hojo having met before?"

"I just thought…" I quickly said to bide enough time to come up with a weak excuse, "That since you both lived in Wutai that…"

"Tch, Seph… There are a lot of people that lived in Wutai at one time or another, you can't possibly expect me to know every single one of them just because I used to live there too, let alone remember them," he said with enough conviction to make it seem believable, "And for all I know, he might have lived there and moved away long before I was born, unless you have a date. Then it might at least add some interesting trivia to this conversation."

"I don't have a date," I answered while silently concluding that his answers were neither denying nor confirming my suspicions before I wondered if, "Maybe he knew your family."

"My family?" he asked.

Then it was his turn to look suspicious, as well as suddenly irritated when he asked as he placed his cup back down on the table, "What's with this sudden fascination?"

* * *

><p>When I look back, I can't help but wonder if it was Hojo's intention to make us suspicious of each other. In many ways it seemed like he was the biggest and most overlooked obstacle that stood between us, and I chose not to notice it.<p>

We were being played with and neither of us caught on. Yet in many ways it backfired. My suspicions of Tseng fuelled my desire to get to know him better, and in a way, my suspicious behaviour might have sparked Tseng's curious nature.

The more suspicious I became over nothing, the more intriguing the puzzle became for Tseng, and he eventually told me that, "I think you need to get your head checked… Those mako treatments you underwent in Soldier may have done some damage."

His tone was stern but his eyes were soft when he said things like that, and I'd merely snort at him for saying something so typical.

It still didn't settle my questions though.

I even went so far as to follow him after he was sent back to work and he came across something that he needed to question Hojo over, and despite what I saw, I still couldn't make heads or tails out of why Hojo would have said the things he said if Tseng obviously didn't know him.

* * *

><p>"Is this your team?" Tseng asked him as he walked into his lab and handed him a sheet that looked like a list. I stayed near the end of the hall and out of their site as best as I could. The door was left open and the lab's walls were clear glass, leaving no guessing to their interactions.<p>

"It is," Hojo answered as he adjusted his glasses, read over it, and handed it back as if he couldn't have cared less about why he was being questioned about them.

Yet he still asked, "Why?"

"They've gone missing."

"Oh," Hojo detachedly answered and watched Tseng walk over to his computer to access it, "I see."

"You don't sound concerned," Tseng observed as he pulled up some files and Hojo quietly moved to stand behind him and decided to change the topic.

"I see they've put you back to work."

Then he tilted his head and studied Tseng while he continued to pull up records and quickly browsed over each one, "After everything you've been through, I hardly think that you should be pushing yourself so hard."

"I'd hardly call this pushing myself, Hojo," Tseng casually answered. Then he lightly snickered out, "And it beats doing nothing in my apartment."

"_Your_ apartment?" Hojo curiously asked as he tilted his head and Tseng slightly frowned with his back to him, "Last I checked, that apartment belonged to your lover."

"Mm," Tseng muttered as his expression turned irritated and the denial set in, "Gossip doesn't suit you."

Then he tapped on the screen and asked, "What's this?"

"Confidential material," Hojo answered as he cockily placed his hand on Tseng's shoulder and moved closer, only to be rewarded with a rough push while Tseng quickly stepped away and appeared to lose his balance for a brief moment, "Is something the matter? You don't look well."

"I'm fine," Tseng answered while pinching at the bridge of his nose as if he were suffering from a headache and Hojo went to close the file before he was abruptly stopped, "Don't touch that!"

"Why?"

"You've got it password protected and I need you to open it," Tseng told him, "I have orders to…"

"You're very pale," Hojo observed while Tseng swooned as if he were dizzy, "Sit down, right here… I'll get you some water."

"I said I was fine."

"You don't look fine," Hojo replied as he pushed Tseng into a chair and walked farther into his lab to get some water from the sink.

All the while, Tseng looked like he was about to throw up and Hojo grabbed something from the cupboard and opened it with his back to the main entrance before he quickly turned around while swirling the glass and walking back to Tseng.

Then he knelt beside him and placed his hand on his shoulder while offering the water.

"Drink this," he said, "It will clear you up in no time."

"I don't want it," Tseng stubbornly persisted as he pushed Hojo's hand from his shoulder and sneered at him while lowly warning, "And don't touch me."

"I'm only trying to help," Hojo told him.

Then he smiled as he put the glass into Tseng's hand and stood with his back to him while crooning out, "If only you would trust me."

Then he walked back over to his console and stared at the file on the screen with narrowing eyes and inconspicuously removed it before replacing it with an identical looking one when Tseng closed his eyes and finally took a sip from the glass.

"If you ask me," Hojo casually started as he turned around and leaned on the desk to stare down at Tseng with an unreadable expression, "They put you to work far too soon.

"You shouldn't be pushing yourself this soon. With the reactor and your family…"

"I don't care to discuss my personal life with you," Tseng muttered as he finished the water in one gulp as if he were suddenly parched.

Then he stood and set the empty glass on the nearby counter while stating, "Quite frankly, I don't like you—nor do I trust you."

After that, he started to walk out like he never looked ill a moment ago and commanded, "I want those files sent to me right away, Hojo."

"Very well," Hojo crooned while mockingly smirking at Tseng as he left, "I'll send them to you right away."

* * *

><p>"Oh," Tseng blurted out after he walked into Lazard as he was stepping out of his office, "Don't you look where you're going?"<p>

"My apologies, Tseng," Lazard politely said as he slightly bowed and noted that Tseng had a pile of files in his hands that he was digging through when he opened the door and that he could have extended the same courtesy, "I wasn't expecting your door to open so abruptly."

Then he calmly smiled at Tseng and added, "I'll try to be more aware of my surroundings from now on," when Tseng paused and noted that it was him that made the mistake.

He didn't say anything about it though and Lazard took note of the files before asking, "Are those the files Hojo sent you?"

"They are," Tseng replied as he casually flipped through one of them and muttered, "But something doesn't seem right."

"I see," Lazard responded as he brushed his hand through his bang and commented on how, "You've always impressed me with your thoroughness… However, I fear that this case may be more beneficial to our newest members than to someone with your talent. I was hoping that you wouldn't mind passing it on."

"Normally I'd agree," Tseng answered, "But I'm afraid that the more I look at this case, the less it makes sense."

"Then perhaps a fresh set of eyes would be more ideal," Lazard tactfully stated, "Besides, I was hoping that I could pull you from this case for something I feel you're more suited to, particularly with your background and history."

"Have I done something wrong?"

"Quite the contrary," Lazard answered while he pulled a file from under his arm, "I've been reviewing your progress since you returned to work and realized that you've been working at your desk since you returned.

"I realize that it was under the President's orders, but quite frankly, you're looking rather pale from being closed in and I'd rather put you back on the field."

"You're the second person to bring that up," Tseng confessed as he rubbed at his jaw.

"Yes, well I can't help but sense that being cooped up and staring at files and four walls all day long is rather draining for a person of your expertise."

Then he smiled again and adjusted his glasses while lowering his voice, "I can only imagine that this might seem like some kind of punishment to you."

With a shy smile, Tseng quirked his brow and flipped through the file again before he turned his attention to the file that Lazard was holding, "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmph," Lazard snorted out with a cunning grin as he held out his hand for Tseng's files.

"I was hoping that you hadn't lost your sense of curiosity. Please…" he started as he offered the other file in exchange for the ones Tseng was holding, "Look these over and tell me what you think, and in the mean time, I'll take these missing scientists to a fresh pair of eyes."

At that, Tseng handed the files to Lazard in exchange for the other one with a slight frown while admitting that, "This is everything I have on them. But I'd like to state that I can't help but sense that you're trying to go easy on me."

"It might seem that way," Lazard admitted, "However, you might change your mind once you take a look at that file."

Then he smiled again and started to walk away while stating that, "I look forward to your cooperation in this case, your history and involvement is exactly what we need in such a sensitive situation."

Then Lazard turned the corner in the hallway and nodded at me while noting a lunch bag that I was holding and greeted me by saying nothing more than my name, "Sephiroth."

"Sir," I responded while trying to brush off the knowing glance that he had in his eyes when he caught me standing there and listening to them.

* * *

><p>A few seconds after Lazard left the hall, I tapped on Tseng's door and was welcomed with a tired greeting.<p>

"Come in," he said while he closed the file Lazard handed to him and I placed the bag on his desk, "What's this?"

"You forgot your lunch."

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat it anyway," I stated as I pulled up the chair opposite to him and opened it while he frowned at me and muttered, "I hate sushi."

"I know," I admitted as I claimed it as my own and pushed what was left in the bag towards him while stating that, "It's for me."

"I see," he answered as he opened it out of curiosity and subtly smiled when he pulled a cheese burger and greasy fries from it and admitted that, "This is far better, but you didn't have to… I could have fended for myself."

"We both know you wouldn't have."

"Hm," he muttered as he removed the packaging from the burger and guiltily smiled before taking a large bite and asking with his mouth full, "Where's the milkshake?"

"I thought you didn't like sweets," I answered as I watched him take another bite and frowned at him.

"Perhaps, but every now and then… It compliments a meal like this."

"That's not a meal. It's garbage and it's unhealthy."

"It tastes better than raw fish," he persisted as he stuffed a handful of fries into his mouth and stared at his empty tea cup.

"It's Wutian."

"Exactly."

"Hm," I mused as I grabbed the chopsticks and poked at my lunch while observing that, "You must be the only Wutian I've ever met that doesn't like this stuff."

"That's a lie and rather stereotypical of you considering that you don't know enough Wutians to make such an observation," he pointed out while he grabbed at a napkin and wiped at the greasy mess that was accumulating around his mouth.

"Just because I grew up there doesn't mean that I want to continue eating what I ate day in and day out during my entire youth, besides," he muttered as he held up his burger and coyly smirked, "I quite like the taste of garbage."

Then he snickered and took another large bite while I noted that, "You're going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep eating like that."

"Oh?" he asked, "The way that you carry on about me clogging my arteries is insulting. I'm not that old, Sephiroth. Not to mention that if you felt that strongly about my health, why did you bother bringing me this instant death?"

Then he took another handful of the fries and defiantly stuffed them into his mouth while I frowned at him and curiously noted a file on his desk that had Hojo's name on it.

I could have sworn that he gave all the files he had on Hojo to Lazard. So I asked, "What's this?"

"Oh," he answered as he frowned at it and put his burger down to pull it towards him as he opened it, "It's a list of all the locations Dr. Hojo resided in for the last forty years."

Then he tapped on it and returned to his burger while talking with his mouth full.

"I couldn't help but be curious after our strange conversation this morning. So I dug this from our database and printed out all the years and locations."

"Everything?"

"Yes… Well the last forty years, anyway," he admitted, "I had no idea he was so worldly."

Then he quirked his brow while I took a bite and he placed his elbows on his desk while holding the last bite of his burger in front of his mouth.

"And as it turns out, he lived in Wutai for over two years before I was born, and then off and on until I was a young adolescent."

Then he stuffed the last bite into his mouth and sat back while I looked at the file and wondered about their confusing relationship again.

Was this supposed to prove something or was he being genuine about never having met him before?

In all honesty, there was nothing about their interactions earlier that seemed suspicious except for the water and that Tseng didn't seem to notice the effect it had on him.

Other than that, everything seemed normal and I wound up studying him and noting how pale he'd gotten since the Mako incident and there was nothing unusual about that either. He'd been through a lot since then and was suddenly pushing himself to prove that he was still useful.

"Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

"No," I admitted before I took another bite and he grabbed the container of fries so that he could hold them closely while he continued to stuff them into his mouth like he were starving.

"Well I don't know what to tell you then," he casually said while he licked at his fingers and tossed the empty package into the trash near his desk, "Other than the fact that I find this bizarre notion of us knowing each other curious."

"Fine," I stated after I swallowed my last bite and tossed my own container into his trash. Then I stood while he curiously regarded me as if he were amused by something.

"You really are puzzling at times," he observed while I grabbed the rest of the garbage from our lunch and tossed them into his trash before turning to his door.

Then he asked, "Leaving so soon?"

"Quit playing with me," I grumbled as I grabbed the handle and started to close it behind me while I muttered that, "My lunch is over and we both have work to do."

"Very well," he casually breathed out as I caught him quirking his brow through the corner of my eye while he grabbed the file that Lazard gave to him, "I suppose I'll see you later."

* * *

><p>"What were you doing in his office?" Hojo asked when Tseng's door was closed and I wondered how long he'd been standing there.<p>

Then I blurted out, "None of your business," before I suddenly wondered why he was standing there and I decided to take advantage of it by attempting to satisfy my own curiosity.

"What did you give to him?"

"Pardon?" he asked as he started to casually walk away like he was on his way somewhere.

"Back in the lab," I confronted, "You put something in his water. What was it?"

"You have an active imagination," Hojo pointed out before he outwardly laughed and took me off guard by asking, "Does he know that you follow him around?"

"I don't follow him around," I grumbled.

"Then why would you ask me something like that?" he asked in an irritated tone as we wound up back at his lab, "If you weren't _spying_ on him like a _Turk_, you wouldn't have even known!"

"So you did put something in his drink."

"Of course I did!" he abruptly admitted as he unlocked his door and stepped into his lab while I followed, "The man's a wreck and won't admit that he's pushing himself too hard! He needed something—"

Then he laughed after cutting himself off as he walked into the back of his lab and opened a cabinet to grab a vial of liquid that he roughly placed into my hand while informing me that, "There's no way he would have accepted anything from me. He doesn't trust me."

"Why's that?" I suspiciously asked as I turned the vial and read the label while noting that it was a sedative and wondered how it would have helped Tseng with the nausea he seemed to be experiencing.

"Because he doesn't trust _anyone_, Sephiroth," he carelessly explained before he pointed to the vial and commanded me to, "Make sure you give him a few drops of that twice a day—slip it into his drink or food, or something."

"Why don't I just give it to him and let him do it himself?" I wondered as I slipped it into my pocket and decided that I'd leave since he was acting out of sorts again.

"_Don't_ do that!"

"Why?" I asked, unable to hide my sudden irritation with his bizarre secrecy.

"Because he won't take it!" he explained in an offhanded way before he decided to confuse me even more, "You know that as well as I do, and far be it from _him_ to admit that he needs _anything_!"

True. Tseng was a proud man, but I honestly couldn't come up with a reason as to why he wouldn't take something that would make him feel better, and I wound up pulling the vial back out of my pocket and opening it so that I could study its appearance and scent.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking to see that it's what you say it is."

"I see he's rubbing off on you!" he suddenly yelled at me and snatched it from my hands while informing me that, "With everything he's been through, he's running the risk of his limit evolving and wreaking havoc at any given moment!"

"Evolving?" I asked as Hojo grabbed a glass and filled it with water before he poured some of the sedative into it and gulped it down in front of me to prove that it was perfectly safe.

"See?" he asked as he showed me the empty glass and put the open vial back in my hand, "It's perfectly harmless!"

With a frown, I put the cap back on the bottle and put it back in my pocket while I closely watched Hojo for a few seconds and wondered, "Does he know this?"

"Of course not!" Hojo grumbled as he refilled the glass and took another drink, "He'd never hear of it!"

Then he put the glass near the edge of the counter and nearly knocked it onto the floor when he grabbed a nearby clipboard and wandered into his office while mumbling that, "He's just like his mother."

"His mother?" I asked, and all I got in reply was, "Don't you have work to do?"

"Yes," I admitted before I was accused of slacking off and wasting his precious time.

After that, I was rewarded with his office door slamming in my face.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went like most days did. I met with a handful of Soldiers and offered my expert opinion. I spent my last break with Angeal and Genesis and was given a bag of dumb apples from Banora, and near the end of my shift, I walked by Lazard's office and saw him talking to a Junon official.<p>

About the only unusual occurrence that day was Hojo, which was actually normal for him, and Rufus.

_When did he get back?_ I wondered as I walked by Tseng's office near the end of the day and heard the two of them laughing before they grew secretively quiet and I wound up stopping by the door to see what I could hear.

It wasn't uncommon for the two of them to behave that way, and it was partly the reason I suspected that Rufus' father sent him away in the first place.

_"For all I know, those two are conspiring to kill me," _The President would often say, and I honestly never knew whether I should doubt it or not.

Rufus was, after all, fairly open about hating his father and wishing him dead, and Tseng rarely showed any lack of support to that matter. They were close, those two, and when Rufus finally opened the door and greeted me, I realized that I must have gotten lost in a thought that I couldn't remember.

"Sephiroth," he said as he closed the door behind him and admitted that, "I must admit I'm glad I ran into you."

"Why?" I asked.

"You've been taking care of my Turk," he stated.

Then he grabbed my arm and said, "Talk to me," as he guided me into an empty room and closed the door behind him.

"About what?"

"Tseng," he said, "He said that you've been taking care of him and I wanted to know if it was true."

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked as I stared at the door and noted that he inconspicuously locked it behind him.

"Because he lies," he openly admitted as he motioned to a chair and expressed his desire for me to sit and I refused.

Instead, I simply stood there and suspiciously stared at the door while he smirked at me before I stated that, "I thought you were in Junon."

"Technically, I still am," he confessed.

Then he smirked again and refused to move away from the door while informing me that, "I'm only here on business and thought that I would check up on a dear friend of mine."

"You mean Tseng," I flatly pointed out and he merely nodded while brushing his bang from his eyes while wittily asking, "Do I have any other friends?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Hm," he snorted before he casually leaned against the door and lit a cigarette, "I'd like to think that we could be friends."

"Why's that?" I suspiciously asked.

"Because I'd like to think that I could trust you," he bluntly stated while looking me over with those steely eyes of his.

Everything about Rufus was calculating and cold, and I honestly couldn't say that there were many things that I liked about him, other than the fact that he took care of something I cared a great deal about.

"Let's be honest with each other," he started, "I know that you know I care a great deal for your roommate. He's very important to me."

"I know that," I coldly admitted and wondered what in the hell he was getting at.

"Very well…" he said as he looked me up and down and decided to just state what was on his mind, "I'm also aware of your… How should I say it…? Oh yes… Your _sexual_ nature."

Then he smirked at me and took a drag from his cigarette as if he were waiting for a response.

"What are you getting at?"

"He's fragile right now, Sephiroth. I just want to make sure that you understand that. I also want to make sure that you understand that just because he's living with you that it doesn't mean that he's suddenly in your market."

"My market?" I asked while suddenly wondering how easy it would be to snap his neck while he studied me with those shadowy eyes of his as if he thought I were nothing but a peon that he could order around.

"Yes," he admitted as he took another drag and then tapped his ashes into an open can that someone left behind, "I have to admit that I find it suspicious, the way that you befriended him and then suddenly took him under your wing. If I didn't know any better, I'd be inclined to think that you have an ulterior motive, a hidden agenda, if you will."

"I know what an ulterior motive is," I responded with irritation over his brass comment.

"Forgive me," he said as he subtly bowed his head, "I tend to think of Soldiers as subhumans… I sometimes forget that some of you are capable of picking up a dictionary."

After that, he cockily snickered at me as if he were intentionally attempting to rile me before he added that, "Of course, that is your type, isn't it…? From what I've observed, you like the ones that you don't need to carry an intelligent conversation with."

Then he coyly smiled and added that, "In a way, I almost feel that this conversation is a waste of my time since Tseng is obviously too intellectual for your tastes. However, you can't blame me for being concerned, can you?"

"You really are an arrogant little asshole," I suddenly realized.

I'd heard that he was, but this was the first time I'd had the chance to witness it firsthand and I couldn't really say I felt privileged to be in his presence while I pushed him from the door and went to open it.

"My-my…" he coyly toyed as he placed his hand on the door handle to block me and met my eyes without flinching, "You _are_ a touchy one, aren't you?"

"Well since we're being honest with each other," I started as I stared back at him with the same rectitude and noted the smell of his cigarette on his breath since we were standing so close, "We may have a mutual friend, but that doesn't make _us_ friends."

"You don't like me," he flatly observed as he leaned closer and narrowed his eyes while candidly stating that, "I like that you can be straightforward, but you still haven't answered my question."

"You didn't ask one."

"Fair enough," he stated, "Perhaps I got caught up in getting to know you. However, I want to know what you're expecting from Tseng."

Then he dropped his half-smoked cigarette into the can and tilted his head while studying me.

"You see, I've gone over your track record in hopes of shedding some light on your interest in him, and to be frank, I honestly can't figure out what it is that you want."

"Maybe that's because you're trying to find something that isn't there," I coldly told him as I unlocked the door and opened it while adding that, "Unlike you, I don't have an ulterior motive."

"Does that mean you can be trusted, Sephiroth?" he musically asked as I walked out, and rather than answer, I merely stopped, looked down, and wondered about it for about half a second while realizing that I didn't need to answer to him and walked away.

* * *

><p>That was the first time I'd ever spoken to Rufus Shinra on a personal level, and I couldn't say that it was something I enjoyed doing. It was something that I stewed over until I finally reached the apartment and opened the door to the smell of Tseng's cooking and wondered how in the hell those two could be as close as they were.<p>

In many ways, I'd even go so far as to describe Rufus as a sociopath. The man expressed no emotion and his eyes were cold and void of any light. It made me wonder why Tseng always referred to him as a cute kid and why he was always quick to tell people that they were wrong about him when they'd call him for what he was—an egomaniac.

Or was it a megalomaniac?

Well, both descriptions were probably true and as I opened the door and spotted Tseng sitting on the sofa with his work shirt partially undone, I couldn't help but ask, "What the hell do you see in Rufus?"

"Rufus?" he asked as if he were taken off guard. Then he quirked his brow and asked, "Why?"

"He's an asshole," I grumbled as I hung my coat and heard Tseng snicker while he muttered, "Well I can't disagree with that."

Then he stood up and walked behind me and asked, "What did he say to you?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," I admitted, "Other than the fact that I think he was telling me to stay away from you."

"Ah," Tseng stated, "I wouldn't take it to heart. He's just a young boy who's infatuated with a man that used to take care of him—rather normal, from what I understand."

"There's nothing normal about him," I argued as I turned around and looked at the newspaper he left on the coffee table and noted that it was left open on the classifieds—apartments for rent, to be specific.

"He's a little disturbed," he admitted as I pushed him aside and walked up to the paper to see that he'd left marks on a few of the apartments.

"What's this?"

"Apartments for rent," he answered, "I decided I might try renting one instead of buying a place like I was originally intending."

"I had no idea you were thinking of buying a place," I confessed as I stared at it and felt a strange increase in my heart rate.

"Well I can't expect to stay here forever," he casually answered, "I'll admit that I appreciate everything you've done for me but we both knew this wasn't a permanent arrangement."

Then he suddenly sounded uncertain and asked, "Right?"

"I…" I started before trailing off and feeling like I was suddenly paralyzed when he placed his hand on my shoulder to try to get a better look at my expression and I quietly admitted that, "I didn't think that far ahead."

"Oh…" he said under his breath while he thoughtfully tapped his fingers on my shoulder and then an awkward expression took over his features, "I didn't think…"

Then he uneasily stepped away and walked into the kitchen to pour some hot water into a cup with a tea bag already in it.

"Leviathan…" he finally breathed out, "I know that my being here isn't easy for you."

Then he snorted and dug into his pocket.

"I was going through that box that you left in my room the other day and realized that it was full of things that were in my old apartment. Most of it was damaged from the smoke but there was some photos and keepsakes worth having… It made me think…"

With an odd pause, he pulled a picture out of his pocket so that he could run his fingers over the image of his daughter.

"It made me wonder what was going through your head when you ran in there to collect these things."

Then he put it back and turned around to look at me with the most forlorn expression I'd ever seen from him.

"I asked around and recently discovered that the place was engulfed in flames when you did that, and then I thought…

"Most of what you grabbed was photos of my wife."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he told me, "We had some good times. It just… made me wonder what you were thinking and feeling. You see…" he started as he grabbed the tea behind him and leaned against the counter, "The Sephiroth I thought I knew wouldn't normally panic. He's focussed, precise, and persistent."

The last part made him snicker while he shook his head and paused to take a sip of his tea before he continued.

"I thought I knew you well enough to believe that what we had was a physical pass-time, nothing more. To be honest, Seph… I didn't think that you might have taken our relationship more seriously than I did."

_That's cold._

"I know that's a cold thing to say, but it's what I thought."

After that, he let out a deep breath and stared at the table.

"Anyways, it made me think about the mako incident and how you saved me and what you said back at the infirmary… Do you remember what you said?"

"I said a lot of things," I admitted.

All the while I fought with myself to slow down my heart while he faintly smiled and snorted.

"You did," he lightly agreed, "However, the words that stood out the most were when you told me to leave my wife… Part of me struggles with the fact that I should have listened to you. Then maybe none of this would have happened. But there's also a part of me that realizes you might not have said it if you didn't have deeper feelings than I expected.

"It made me realize that I might be more of a burden to you than I initially thought. I like you, Sephiroth. You have an undying loyalty and a strength that I envy. You're honest, straightforward, and resolute. It made me realize how selfish I am, and worst of all, it made me realize that my presence here…

"Well, I think it's unfair."

"Unfair," I repeated.

At the same time, I couldn't shake the fact that he said he _liked _me. He said it like he was saying it to anybody that he could tolerate. It made me realize that Hojo might have been right about him all along and I couldn't stop myself from blurting out under my breath, "Fine. Then go."

All the while, my heart continued to pound in a dizzying way and he simply nodded and put his cup back down behind him while admitting that, "I was afraid that you'd be upset."

"I doubt that."

"You're angry."

"Don't flatter yourself," I angrily responded, almost spitting the words out while suddenly thinking that I'd kill him if he decided to walk out on me.

"Leviathan," he breathed out as if he were feeling futile, "Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"Closed," he said, "At least tell me what's on your mind."

"You want me to tell you what's on my mind?" I asked in disbelief.

"You just told me that I was nothing more than a play thing to you and now you want to know how I feel about it? I saved your life!" I said as he went to walk by me and I grabbed him by the arm and pushed him onto the couch.

"For the last few months, I've beaten myself up over you. I've made every attempt to get to know you. I even sacrificed my career for you so that I could stay close to you and make sure that you were all right, and all the while, it's been nothing but a game to you.

"Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Not really," he admitted, causing me to flinch while wondering what in the hell it was that he really wanted before I leaned over him and closed him in so that he couldn't move away.

"I'm sorry," I maliciously purred, "Were you hoping for something less?"

Then I cruelly ran my fingers over his cheek and smiled when he glared at me.

"This is the part of you that I don't like," he defiantly hissed into my face, "That look in your eyes, right now, is the part of you that I detest."

"Really?" I sarcastically purred while wondering, "Then why do you always try to bring it out?"

"I don't," he angrily said when he tried to squirm away and I roughly grabbed his shoulders to hold him in place, "You do that on your own. All I wanted was to know where I stood with you."

"Where… you… stand…"

"Never mind," he stated in defeat as he tried to pull my grip loose.

"No," I hissed at him, "You wanted to know how I feel. I feel like I could kill you right now. I feel like I meant nothing to you and that everything we've done together was one-sided. I feel used, and now… I feel angry. Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Truthfully," Tseng said with a sudden calm as something swirled in his eyes that I'd never noticed before and he grew calmer by the second.

It was like a strange cloud that came and went and it took me off guard as he sat there and dropped his hands to his sides and breathed out as if he were suddenly in a trance, "I was hoping that you'd tell me not to leave.

"But perhaps… I went about it the wrong way… Se-phi-roth…"

Then he smiled dumbly and his eyes started to turn silver and I suddenly remembered what Hojo told me earlier.

_"With everything he's been through, he's running the risk of his limit evolving and wreaking havoc at any given moment!"_

"Tseng?" I quietly asked as his eyes stared ahead like he was looking through me and I thought I saw something black move behind him before my vision was clouded and I felt something move my hair. At that moment, I quickly dug into my pocket for the sedative Hojo gave to me and I grabbed his jaw to force him to drink it while thinking that there had to be a better way to administer it at times like this.

All the while, I could only think that I'd never seen a limit break like that before—if that's what it was—and I suddenly began to wonder what in the hell Hojo did to Tseng back in that mansion.

This was no limit. It was more akin to a conjuring, and I repetitively tapped on his face with the palms of my hands after he swallowed to snap him out of it.

"Tseng… Can you hear me… Tseng?"

Everyone was lying, I suddenly thought, and again, I couldn't help but blame myself as his eyes closed and he slumped back into the sofa as if he'd been knocked unconscious.

* * *

><p>About an hour had passed since Tseng returned to normal and I simply sat beside him while holding him in hopes that he'd wake up soon.<p>

In many ways, my thoughts were running wild and I kept my focus on the newspaper like it was the source of everything that went wrong. It wasn't like me to feel anxious, and I'm not really sure if that's what I was feeling since I couldn't recall ever feeling anxious before.

But when it came to Tseng, I was becoming accustomed to feeling things I'd never felt before. He brought something out in me that no one else was capable of bringing out.

Normally, I was collected, calculating even, but he had a despicable talent for driving me all over the map.

And in a way, I think it was what I liked about him. He pushed me to my limits and tested me at every step, and as a reward, I learned something new with each trial.

That night, I learned that I had a temper that bordered on vile and I also learned that there was no way in hell that I'd ever let him leave me. I loved him, I realized. I loved him so much that I'd rather kill him than allow him to go, and in a way, it made me feel ill.

"Mm," he mumbled when he finally stirred and I eased my grip on him while allowing him some room to move.

Then he opened his brown eyes and stared at me like he was looking through a fog, "What…?" he asked as he looked around in confusion and I stared straight ahead, "What happened?"

"You pushed yourself too far," I answered, before I got up and grabbed the paper I'd been stewing over for the last hour and carried it to the trash in the kitchen.

"Mm… I'm not done with that."

"Yes you are," I told him as I pulled the burnt dinner from the stove and barely thanked the fates that it was a slow cooking meal, despite that it was ruined.

"I…"

"Shut up."

"What?" he disbelievingly asked as he rubbed at his head and dizzily stood.

"I said 'shut up.'"

At that, he narrowed his eyes at me and frowned while taking a deep breath, "What is your problem?"

"My problem?" I angrily asked.

"Yes. You attacked me for no reason."

"You passed out," I told him as I slammed the oven door shut and turned it off before wondering, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"You were holding me down on the couch, acting like you'd lost your mind."

"You don't know the half of it," I inaudibly grumbled while I leaned on the stove and stretched from sitting for so long.

"What?"

"Nothing," I muttered, "What's the last thing you remember saying?"

"I…" he hesitated for a moment while he thought about it, and then he slowly said, "Truthfully…"

"Mm," I nodded, "Nothing after that?"

"No… What happened?"

"You never finished your sentence," I bitterly lied as I frowned at the dinner and grabbed the phone to order something for us to eat, "You passed out after that… Probably because you've been pushing yourself too hard."

"Leviathan…" he muttered as he rubbed at his eyes with his palms and fell back onto the couch, "You must be furious right now."

"I'm feeling a lot of things right now," I grumbled before someone answered the phone on the other end and I ordered from a Wutian menu out of spite.

Then I tossed the phone on the counter and fell onto the couch beside him.

"You behave like a tonberry," I started, "Everything you do and say is malicious and unexpected—it stings."

"Mm…" he muttered as if he were half-listening and I cruelly nudged him to let him know that I wasn't done with him yet.

"But for the last hour, I've had nothing but time to think."

"Hour?" he asked in confusion as he pulled back his sleeve and looked at his watch and I narrowed my eyes in frustration.

"Knock it off," I warned, "You wanted to know how I feel."

"Yes, and you told me," he yawned out and I nudged him again.

"No, what I said was out of anger but after thinking about it, I can't help but wonder if that was what you wanted."

"Leviathan…" he tiredly started, "Why would I want to make you angry enough to act like you're going to kill me?"

"Because it makes it easier for you," I told him with full conviction, "If you make me hate you, it will be that much easier for you to leave. Am I right?"

He only stared at the coffee table and let out a deep breath, and I decided to take that as my answer while ignoring what he whined about next.

"Can we have this conversation later?"

"No," I retorted before I pulled him towards me and put my arm around him while staring at the coffee table in the same manner as him, "Tell me if I'm right and I'll accept whatever you have to say. It's your turn to tell me how you feel now."

"The truth is…" he tiredly started, "I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm unable to spell it out as well as you."

"I have all night," I muttered while I relaxed my hold a little and he leaned on me as if he'd finally given up, "And neither of us has to work tomorrow so take your time."

"Hm… this is a new side to you."

"I'm full of surprises."

"Mm…" he mumbled as he curled more comfortably up to me and admitted that, "I'd forgotten how nice this was."

"I haven't," I coldly admitted, "Now stop wasting time and talk."

"Fine…" he retiringly said, "I… Just haven't felt like myself since the mako incident… I've been trying to put my finger on it but so much has happened that I don't know what's real or my imagination anymore.

"I feel… off…" he admitted and yawned again, "Part of me wants to jump off the edge of Midgar. Another part of me feels like I've lost something other than the obvious, and yet… another part of me wants someone to drag me away from my confusion."

He smiled a little sadly after that and then he sat up and tiredly reached for his brief case to pull out the file Lazard had given to him and thoughtfully stared at it.

"I can't tell you everything that's in here," he commented as he ran his fingers over the cover, "Except to say that Lazard wants me to do something that causes an inner conflict in me."

"A conflict?" I asked, unable to hide the fact that I was taken a little off guard as I crossed my ankle over my knee.

"Mm…" Tseng nodded, "There's a temple in Sector 6 that I go to. You may know of it."

"I do, but I'm confused."

"Hmph… as was I when I first looked at it," Tseng admitted, "But after reading it, it's clear that it's business."

"And this bothers you?"

"Yes… It's not something I'm entirely comfortable with," he explained as he pressed his ring finger to his forehead to cover the small dot he had tattooed there and I noted that he'd finally removed his wedding ring and wondered when he'd done that.

I'd been trying so hard to get him back on his feet that I failed to notice the little things and caught myself frowning.

"A year ago, I might not have hesitated, but now… Well," he started as he smiled again and tossed the file on the coffee table before sitting back, "I'm full of doubt… I can't help but wonder if there's more to this or if I'm simply reading too much into it."

"What do you mean?"

"Lazard mentioned my history and involvement when he approached me and when I went over the file… Perhaps it's just my suspicious nature but I can't help but wonder if it's not so much because he has faith in my ability as much as my loyalties are being tested."

"I see," I muttered, understanding what he was saying while I put my arm behind him again, "Given the nature of your work, I doubt he'd send someone he didn't think he could rely on."

"That crossed my mind," he admitted, "I suppose I felt it would be best if I just got away from everything… Maybe it would be easier for me to find myself again."

"Is that why you wanted to leave?" I asked, realizing that I could accept that if it was his reason.

"Partly," he confessed, "But there's more to it."

"Talk to me then."

"To put it bluntly… I think I might have feelings for you," he plainly stated, and I couldn't help but be thankful over the fact that he didn't see me smile when I let my hand fall to his shoulder, "But I simply can't tell what they are and I fear that I might be wasting both of our time if I stick around."

"I have nothing but time," I confessed while stroking my thumb on his shoulder and sitting back more comfortably.

"Hm," he thoughtfully muttered, "But I'm only wasting it if I can't figure it out… You've been more than patient with me lately. Dare I say that I sometimes wonder if Leviathan sent you to me. But this is where I'm confused."

"How's that?"

"Unlike you, I'm full of conflict."

"I knew that from the start," I teased as I ruffled his hair and quickly placed a peck on the top of his head in a way that was more friendly than anything else.

"Don't play with me right now," he warned as he brushed my hand from his head and turned to look at me, "You didn't like it when I said that our relationship was only physical when I sincerely thought that it was. You read too much into it."

"What part did I read wrong?" I uneasily asked as I sat back and braced myself for him to start again.

"The part where I said that I 'thought' it was physical."

Then he took a deep breath and tiredly crossed his arms over his chest and muttered, "I'm so tired…"

That was right. He never _said_ that he was using me, and I never gave him the chance to deny my accusations and suddenly, I felt like I was the one who was being the jerk and frowned as the buzzer to the door rang.

In a way, I was annoyed that we were interrupted but at the same time I was relieved that nothing more was said, and when I put the food on the counter, he commented on how childish I was as if he were more than fully aware of the fact that I ordered Wutian because I knew he hated it.

Well, he was right and I merely pushed a fork in his direction and told him to eat it like a Midgarian if it made him feel better while I grabbed the chopsticks.

"You haven't been eating properly," I told him, and when he frowned and grumbled about it, I knitted my brows and ordered him to, "Shut up and eat."

So he did.

He ate every last bit without complaining any further while looking like he was about to pass out.

By the time we were done, he finally said something to me that I was beginning to think would only happen in a dream and my heart skipped a beat for the first time in a long time.

"Seph?" he quietly said as he reached his bedroom door and hesitated.

"Yes?"

"Would it be too forward of me to ask if I could sleep in your room tonight?" and then he lowered his head and confessed that, "I can't help but feel like so much has happened today and that I'm missing something and I… just don't want to be alone."


	10. A Sense So Subtle

**A Sense So Subtle**

* * *

><p>"I never should have shared a bed with that man," Tseng breathes out after sitting on his bed for almost an hour after Genesis left.<p>

Then he moves to the edge and feels along the floor with his feet while letting out a heavy sigh.

"It's funny, Seph," he says to the air, "I suppose your relationship with him was much like Rufus' and mine… You couldn't understand it as much as I couldn't understand yours."

_Sure, _I think, _Only I never slept with either of them…_

Almost like he can here me, he lets out an irritated breath and carefully stands while pushing the chain from his collar aside. He stands there and listens as the metal links slither from the side of the bed to the floor and then he places his hands on his freed neck and rubs at it as if it had been too long for him.

"He's insane, Seph…"

_Which one?_ I think, knowing that they both were as I watch him feel along the nightstand towards the window and he lightly smirks while saying Genesis' name like he's answering me.

"I know he needs me," he quietly says and he feels for the window and runs his fingers curiously over the tape that keeps them shut, "but there's more to it and I can't figure out his other motives… He's been cautious of drawing attention lately, like something's going on that he's not telling me about."

He says it curiously as he carefully pulls back the tape and pushes the curtain aside to reveal a broken window covered by wooden planks.

"I heard him bolting these in," he mutters as he rests his head against them and lightly knocks on one of the boards. "He thought that nailing them would have made it too easy for me to kick them loose. I have no idea why he bothers to tape the curtains shut though…"

Then he dances his fingers along the splintery boards as if he's feeling for cracks and he muses while quirking his brow, "Maybe he's more afraid of something from the outside…"

With a cynical chuckle, he steps back and stretches with his hands on his back and then he rubs at his neck again. Then he lets out another heavy sigh and counts his steps to the door and softly closes it as if to say that he prefers to stay in there.

In a way, his room has become a type of sanctuary for him. It's where he prefers to stay.

About the best I can figure is that it's quiet and it's the one place that Genesis doesn't enter as often like he has some kind of contradictory respect regarding Tseng's space.

Tseng doesn't bother to muse over it though. Instead, he sits on the bed and kicks his feet up while crossing his hands over his stomach and he breathes out, "It's too bad we have no electricity… some classical music would go nicely right now. Even a violin or an acoustic guitar would suit me fine…. Now that he's gone.

"What do you figure, Seph—another hour until he returns?"

With a subtle chuckle, Tseng closes his eyes and takes another deep breath, and then another as if he's finding tranquility in a meditative state and he mutters that, "Either way, I suppose I should take the time to appreciate the sanity of his absence."

Hours later, Genesis unlocks the door and enters the cabin with a disturbing look in his eyes. He's carrying a bucket of snow and he places it on the wood stove before using a fire spell to light it. Then he brushes off his hands and calls out, "Tseng?"

Tseng doesn't answer him though. He rarely does.

Instead, he sits on his bed with his eyes closed and his ankles crossed while he rests his clasped hands over his abdomen. Genesis knows he does it on purpose and he frowns while letting out a frustrated breath. Then he angrily walks towards Tseng's door and abruptly opens it.

"Don't you ever knock?" Tseng calmly asks while he keeps his eyes closed and acts as if Genesis is unnecessarily disturbing him.

"After everything I've done for you," Genesis responds as he sneers and walks over to the side of the bed, "I don't see why I should have to."

Then he sits down and places his arm over Tseng so that he's leaning over him.

"I see," Tseng breathes out, "I suppose I should be thankful for your mere existence."

"Enough with the mockery!" Genesis snaps as if he's suddenly irritated.

Then he charmingly smiles and picks at a patch of dried blood on his coat while looking somewhat distracted.

"I was thinking that you should pack your belongings—whatever you feel you _must_ have."

"Why?" Tseng asks before he yawns as if he's bored.

"You're unhappy here."

"You won't let me go that easily," Tseng grumbles, and then he quirks his brow and adds, "What's the catch?"

"The catch is," Genesis coyly responds while leaning closer, "is that I never said I'd let you go."

"More cat and mouse," Tseng dryly breathes out as he turns to his side as if he's decided he's going to take a nap. "When you decide to tell me why we're hiding or running in a way that isn't cryptic, I'll pack my imaginary bags. Until then, I have no desire to spend any more time with you than I have to. Nor do I care to jump to your bidding"

"Hm… release the dog and he starts barking thanklessly again," Genesis muses as he takes a quick look at the chain on the floor. "Though I don't recall you ever being thankful." Then he curiously asks, "Why are your eyes closed?"

"It makes no difference," Tseng says. "It all looks the same whether they're opened or closed… At least this way, I can pretend it's by choice."

"I see," Genesis says before he thoughtfully runs his eyes over Tseng's face and gets up. Then he pushes at the chain with the toe of his boot and quietly says that, "You're in one of your moods again."

"Whatever causes them is a mystery," Tseng duly responds as he turns to his side and curls up.

The implication doesn't go unnoticed and Genesis merely frowns down at him before he tilts his head and studies the last of the fading marks on Tseng's neck. Then he snorts and walks out while pulling his sword from its sheath.

It's covered in blood and Genesis suspiciously glances back at Tseng as if he's trying to work something out in his head. Then he frowns when he looks at the curtains that Tseng pulled back and he grabs a sponge to dip in the melted snow on the stove and asks, "Why did you tear your curtains down again?"

All he receives as an answer is a subtle rumble in the air before Tseng's door is slammed shut by some unforeseen entity, and Genesis darkly smiles with a satiated sparkle in his eyes as he wipes the blood from his sword with a cloth and then he takes the sponge and runs it over the dried blood on his coat.

"I see you're getting better at controlling it," He darkly muses, and then he lets out a heavy sigh and stares at the covered kitchen window as if he's contemplating something that has been weighing heavy on his mind for a while now.

* * *

><p>Months passed and I was still having no luck trying to get an answer from Hojo. I tried everything I could think of from following him, trying to sneak into his lab only to find that he practically lived in it, to outright asking.<p>

Unfortunately, all I could discover was that Hojo had a disturbing fascination with Tseng that confused me more than any question I could ever ask.

Sometimes, he would look at the Turk like he adored him or something about him. He would go out of his way to touch him in a consoling manner, which was a quality that I knew Hojo lacked. Other times, he looked at him like he couldn't have detested him more. His fingers would tense up and his jaw would clench while he glared at him like he wanted to strangle him, and all of this would happen within a matter of seconds.

In many ways, it was making me uncomfortable.

There were other questionable things as well, and the more Hojo tried to pry us apart, the more I started to question his motives. It was mostly because I started to suspect that it had more to do with Hojo's fascination with Tseng than it had to do with anything else.

"Why?" I sarcastically asked at one point, "Are you in love with him?" and I was promptly met with a stinging slap to the face while being reminded of the Soldier I recently slept with while I was away on a mission.

"Or was it two?" he asked, and I quickly stepped back while glaring at him and threateningly thinking, _You wouldn't dare…_

"I really don't think he'd be happy to hear about it, considering that I'm only bringing up your _last_ mission!" he threw in for good measure while telling me that, "You keep him to yourself like a bird in a beautiful cage! You've won your prize and now you're bored with it! Do you really think you'll be able to keep up this charade of yours without him ever finding out…? He's a Turk, Sephiroth! It's his job to find things out! I can't help but wonder what he'd do to retaliate… You think you know him well enough… What do you think he'd do?"

_He'd probably get even,_ I assumed while making no attempt to offer more ammunition to Hojo's musings.

He made no attempt to hide the fact that he could always stoop low enough to use it if he really wanted to break us apart. He could always leave a trail that could make things so much easier for him to achieve his goal but he'd chosen to be the better man by letting me screw up in my own time. Eventually, he believed that it would be best if Tseng discovered that he was being deceived on a regular basis if it was me that told him.

Then to add fuel to the fire, he openly wondered if Tseng didn't already know, and I suddenly had to leave with a feeling like I was being suffocated. I needed air and I walked out of his office as fast as I could while Hojo's mocking laughter trailed behind me and I focussed on my last mission with a spiralling regret.

* * *

><p><em>What am I doing?<em> I relentlessly thought to myself as I made my way home that night, _and why do I keep doing it?_

Hojo was wrong though. I wasn't bored of Tseng. I doubted I could ever be bored of him. Every moment that I was away from him was a form of torture and when I opened the apartment door, I let out a long-held breath of relief when everything was as it should be.

Tseng asked me how my mission went and I told him that everything went fine while leaving out the seedier details as I hung my coat and he grew quite. Then I wondered that maybe he did know since he wasn't saying much and I found myself unable to look at him.

"Is something wrong?" I reluctantly asked as I sat beside him on the sofa and he slowly shook his head and breathed out, "No…"

"Oh," I responded as he calmly took a deep breath and placed the papers he was reading face down on the coffee table.

Then he leaned back and placed his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling while keeping his silence. Something felt cold and I took a look around the apartment to see if anything was out of place.

The only thing I could find was a container and a receipt on the coffee table. He'd ordered a meal from the diner across the street and he'd already eaten it.

Though I couldn't say that it was odd. I never told him I was coming home that day. On the other hand, given his position in the company, he probably would have known anyway.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" I asked again while I stared at his container and he kicked his feet up onto the coffee table while he continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Nothing's wrong, Seph," he said in a daze, and then he grabbed his papers and put them in his briefcase, locked it, and walked to the room while muttering, "I'm going to bed."

He never asked if I was coming and he didn't bother to say 'Good night' like he normally did, and I sat there as he left the door open to our room. The only thing that gave me hope was that he didn't go into the other room that we pretended was _his_, and I watched him pull the elastic from his hair while he started undoing the buttons on his shirt and walked into the private bathroom.

All the while, I wondered if I was supposed to follow him or if I was supposed to sleep on the couch.

* * *

><p>Days later, I discovered that Tseng's withdrawn mood was about one of his missions that threw him off. I remembered it was a while ago that Lazard had asked him to infiltrate the temple that Tseng was already a member of, and as it turned out, Tseng had gotten close to the leader.<p>

It was his job to get close to him but at the same time, Tseng developed a personal liking to the man and when he had to take him down, it left him with the feeling that he had no one to talk to.

He knew that I didn't fully approve of his faith since I'd often voiced how superstitious it was, and as I thought about it afterwards, I probably left him with the sense that he couldn't talk about it with me due to the assumption that I wouldn't understand. He was probably right too, except for the part where a slight jealousy started to rear its ugly head concerning exactly how close did Tseng get to the leader.

It was something that was starting to happen more often. With nearly everyone that he spoke to, I grew suspicious and jealous, and the worst part of it was that I couldn't express it without the fear of losing him because it would possibly expose _us_.

* * *

><p>"I call it Dissolution," Hojo said in answer to my question about a painting that was hanging in his office. I'd been trying to get an answer from him for over an hour and my head was starting to spin from the circles he kept spinning me in. With every question that I had about Tseng, he countered it with an offhanded remark or needling question of his own, but when I explained anything unusual about Tseng, he became quiet and started taking notes in his head as if it were important.<p>

He wasn't willing to share any of it with me though, and I was growing more agitated by the second.

That was when the painting caught my attention. I didn't recall seeing it before and I studied it while Hojo continued to rant about why Tseng and I shouldn't be together and about how much of an ass I was concerning my 'sordid affairs.'

"Turks and soldiers don't mix!"

_Yes, I'd heard that one before, many times._

I was growing tired of it and in my eyes, it wasn't a good enough reason to kick Tseng out. We made progress and I kept that information to myself while I sighed with frustration and walked closer to the painting. It was aged and worn, almost colourless. It looked like someone had attempted to restore it at one point, and I raised my hand to feel the flaking surface before Hojo pulled me out of my trance.

"Don't touch that!" he yelled, and I quietly backed away while still staring at the painting and wondering why he'd have something like that in his office.

"What is it?" I dumbly asked while I noted the figure closest to the centre. It was slender and frail looking—almost androgynous. It was crouched down with one hand on the ground. Dark trails ran from the place it was touching and it gave off a sense of destruction while it blindly stared with no sense of direction. Behind him was a legion of demons.

What caught my attention most though, was the demon closest to him. Unlike the others that seemed to be wreathing in agony while they're legs looked stuck in some kind of crystalline structure, it stood close and stared at him with a calming serenity. It almost looked sad and appeared to be reaching out to him.

Upon closer examination, there was a strange black swirl that seemed to be wrapped around the demons hand and wrist, almost like it was holding him, and the demons fingers were partially closed as if it were holding it as well. It was hard to tell for sure though.

"Magnificent, isn't it?" Hojo asked as his eyes ran over the painting as if he were proud of its existence.

"I guess so," I quietly said, still confused over why he'd hang something like that in his office. "I thought you didn't like art."

"This isn't art!" he snapped at me as he spun around and added, "It's a piece of history!"

"History?" I noted as I turned my head to see where he was going and wondered what demons had to do with history before I concluded that he must have been talking about the painting rather than the content.

"Yes, that magnificent work was brought here from Nibelheim! Before that, it was found in a remote location! Lucrecia brought it to our lab and hung it on the wall!"

Then he took a moment to laugh about something when I asked, "Your wife?"

"She treated it like a shrine!" he screeched out and laughed even louder before he answered, "Yes! That vain and insane creature was my wife! She got too ambitious for her own good!"

_That's right,_ I silently noted. He told me she died while giving birth to their stillborn child. He rarely spoke of it and I chose to respect it as a topic that he didn't want to talk about. Though I always suspected there was more to the story since he always referred to her as a creature that he found pathetic and repulsive.

It didn't explain why he had a picture that she apparently liked, however, and I was about to go back to the topic I originally came to discuss with him.

"You still didn't answer my question about Tseng," I said as I turned and he was walking back to the painting with a notepad and pen.

He was ignoring me while he pointed at the creatures in his painting and rambled on about something that had nothing to do with my question.

"Omega, Chaos… Those two I know for sure! We call the one in the middle Dissolution because there are no concurrent records on him, and that is Chaos standing behind him!" he stated in distaste before he leaned closer and adjusted his glasses to see better. "I haven't been able to figure out what the relation is between them!"

"It's a painting," I grumbled, wondering why he was wasting his time trying to make sense out of someone else's vision.

"It's more than a painting!" he angrily yelled at me.

Then he decided to explain that the creature he called Dissolution was not the same as the other creatures. It was some sort of distant cousin of Bahamut, or it was Bahamut, or it controlled, was a shepherd, gave birth, played games or whatever with Bahamut.

Looking back, I wish I'd paid more attention to what he was telling me but at the time I thought he was just rambling on about nothing like he often did.

The only thing that did catch my attention was when he said something about the possibility of Chaos and Dissolution being close and that he wished he'd noted it before—that he didn't know Dissolution wasn't one of them before it was too late.

"Otherwise, I might not have made such a grave mistake!"

"What mistake?" I asked, suddenly curious about what he was talking about while he laughed hysterically and walked into his adjacent lab.

"He's nothing like them!" he explained, "Nor are his motives from what I can gather! As far as I can decipher, he's the one that trapped them in mako prisons before he imprisoned himself into what historians believe to be the very first Summon Materia! It was the beginning of the end for all of their kind and the myth states that the rest of the summons followed his example!"

"So… It's mythology," I gathered as I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the painting again. The creature had what looked like grey or opal eyes that were missing the pupil, and when I looked closer, I noted that there was something in the background that I didn't notice before. It almost looked like it was made from the shadows and I assumed it was Bahamut since it had a similar appearance and Hojo was going on about it and I shrugged again.

I had nothing against art. I had a few paintings on the walls in my apartment and even went to the art gallery with Genesis on occasion. I just couldn't say that I ever put as much effort into deciphering the artist's story as Hojo was trying to do with this one.

"It's not mythology! You're not listening to a word I'm saying!" he screeched as I turned around and walked over to his desk.

"That's because you're not telling me anything I want to hear," I grumbled and I looked at the clock and realized I'd been trying to get answers from him for over two hours.

"That's right!" he exclaimed. "You wanted to talk about your lover!"

I'm not sure why I cringed when he called him my lover considering that what he said next was far worse.

"I hear President Shinra is trying to set him up with a _female_ he thinks would be _perfect_ for him," he said before he laughed and turned around to see my expression. "I believe he mentioned something about a _date_ earlier!"

"A date?"

"Yes! I overheard them talking in the President's office this morning! As I recall, your _lover_ appeared interested in what Shinra had to say about the _woman_!"

After a long bout of hysterical laughter, Hojo pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his forehead while breathing out in amusement, "I can't say that I recall him refusing the President's offer… Not to mention that he's never shown an aversion towards _women_ in the past… He _was_ married and fathered a child, after all."

* * *

><p>Maybe I was angry. I'm not really sure that I can label what I was feeling. All I really know is that something set me off at that moment and I slammed Hojo's face into his painting when he leaned closer to it. It was an automatic reaction.<p>

He said something about Tseng showing an interest in some woman that the President wanted him to meet and then I grabbed the back of Hojo's head and pushed him forward. Then I started to walk away while he yelled at me because I ruined his painting.

_Like I care…_ I thought to myself, before I voiced my next thought while I continued to walk away from him, "You can buy shitty art anywhere these days."

Then I went to open his door and thought I heard a faint click before I discovered that it was locked, and I stared at it in confusion for a moment before I angrily grumbled that, "We're locked in," and he laughed at me like I was an idiot.

I think he said something else, but I'm not too sure if I imagined it.

After that, there was a female voice in my head that drowned everything out and I reached for my head before I awoke on Hojo's table with his glaring light shining in my eyes.

* * *

><p>"What?" I asked, confused and disoriented when I tried to sit up and I was pushed back down.<p>

_Was I dreaming?_

"What happened?" Hojo screeched while he tore something from my arm and I winced. Then he helped me sit and told me to, "Stay there!"

"I was hoping you could tell _me _what happened," I mumbled as I rubbed at my head and stared at his office when he walked in the opposite direction and grabbed something from one of his cupboards.

His door was open and I could see the damaged painting I think I slammed his head into. It was half-hanging on the wall and his furniture was toppled over like there was a struggle of some sort.

_Did I do that? _

"You slammed my head into the wall and then you passed out!" Hojo told me as he returned with a needle so that he could take a blood sample. "You knocked over my furniture in the process and I had to drag you to the table! Do you want to tell me what came over you?"

"Nothing," I dizzily muttered and felt nauseas over the strong scent of dream powder on Hojo's clothes and my attention fell back to the toppled furniture.

"Nothing?" Hojo angrily recanted. "You could have given me a concussion!" Then he stabbed his needle into my arm and I instinctually pulled away before he gripped my wrist and held my arm in place with a cruel hold. "Don't you realize how damaging that could have been to my work?"

"Oh…?" I muttered, somewhat angry that it was always about his work instead of anything else, and I sarcastically grumbled that, "We couldn't have that."

"Did you hear that voice again?" he asked. "Is that why you did it?"

"What voice?" I asked.

"That woman's voice?"

_I never told him about the voice._

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I angrily told him when I pulled my arm away and he held up the blood sample to visually inspect it or whatever it was that he was doing.

"You're sounding more like him every day," Hojo pointed out as he placed the sample in some kind of device on his counter.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lies! Sephiroth!" he spat out. "That's what Turk's do! Not you!"

"Are we done?" I asked, annoyed that he was behaving like he always did, and then I swooned from another dizzy wave when the waft of dream powder hit me again. I noted it when he walked by and then I thought about the faint smell of it when we were at his table as if it were lingering on his clothes and I hesitated with my attention back on the turned over furniture while wondering if he was the one who was lying.

_Could he have…?_

With a shake to my head, I shook off the thought that he might have knocked me out for whatever unknown reason and I decided that it was time to leave. I figured I'd had my full dose of madness for the day and I wasn't feeling very well all the sudden either. Not to mention that I couldn't come up with a valid reason that would make him do something that drastic, and as he slammed his door behind me and locked it after I left, I suddenly remembered that his door was locked when I tried to leave before I passed out.

Again, I wondered as I stopped and turned around to stare at his door with a blank expression, _Did he…?_

Or was I just imagining things?

As far back as I could remember, Hojo was the most trustworthy person I knew. He was eccentric, arrogant, and many other things I could label him as if I had all day but I could always trust him.

With another shake to my head, I convinced myself that I was only imagining things. I imagined everything, the conversation about Tseng, the painting, and all the other questionable things that happened. I must have been plagued by another one of my dizzy spells and did, said, and dreamt of a few things that didn't happen and that I couldn't recall.

_I think I'm losing my mind…_ I reluctantly thought as I wavered my hand towards Hojo's locked door with the intention to tell him about some of the other strange things I think I'd done, seen, or heard. Then I quickly pulled my hand away, suddenly convinced that I was just tired.

Even if I was going slightly mad, I convinced myself that my will was strong enough to overcome it and that I didn't need to start making premature confessions to madmen or insecure lovers, and I calmly walked away with a gradually clearing head.

* * *

><p>I decided that I could use some familiar and less insane company and I faintly smiled when I found Angeal exactly where I was expecting him to be.<p>

"What are you doing?" I asked while leaning against a nearby post and looking down at him.

"Taking Genesis' advice," Angeal serenely replied.

He was lying on the tarmac with his hands behind his head as he watched the clouds overhead and I sat on the bench beside him with an amused smirk.

"Cloud watching?" I assumed as I leaned forward and rested my forearms on my knees so I could watch his expression. "I don't think that's what he meant when he said you needed to get out more."

With a hearty chuckle, Angeal sat up and shook his head. Then he sat beside me and leaned back on the bench with his arms outstretched while suggesting that, "We both need to get out more, but that wasn't what he suggested."

"What did he suggest?"

"He said I had no imagination," Angeal told me with a light chuckle. "Then he said that I needed to learn to appreciate the little things. He suggested going to an art gallery or the theatre and I told him that I wasn't into the same fruity stuff he was into."

With another light chuckle, Angeal leaned forward and quietly confided that, "he takes things too personally sometimes."

"He's a hothead," I admitted. I could only imagine what Genesis' reaction was. He was different with Angeal than he was with me.

He would happily banter with me and turn everything into a challenge or a game, but with Angeal, he took everything too personally.

In a way, I looked at it as a testament to how solid their friendship was and how much Angeal's opinion of him mattered, not to mention that Genesis was defensive to begin with. I pared it down to his aristocratic upbringing and that maybe he felt that he was alone in the way that he viewed the world.

He was different from us and I rubbed my cheek while squinting from the intensity of the evening sun while I leaned back to rest more easily. Then I snorted when Angeal shook my hair from his arm after the breeze blew it in his direction and he sat back to relax with me.

"Something on your mind?" he asked in a nonintrusive way.

"I don't know," I honestly answered while Angeal clasped his hands behind his head and looked up to the clouds again.

"That sounds like you don't know where to start," Angeal mused. Then he playfully grinned and nudged the side of my leg with his knee.

The comment was unobtrusive and he didn't push any further. Instead, he pointed at the clouds when I decided to join him and asked me, "Is it my imagination, or does that cluster look like an angry cactuar?"

"It looks like a mad scientist," I responded.

"Mm," Angeal mused. "Genesis tells me that we see our own subconscious in what we see."

"You mean like ink blots?"

"I guess," Angeal thoughtfully responded. "Although I think the goal is different from sitting in an office and being assessed on what you see."

With another light chuckle, he shook his head at the irony and pointed out another cluster that he mused over.

"I see two people in love over there…" he said as he pointed. "See how one is holding the other?"

"It looks more like one is trying to stab the other in the back," I grumbled as I narrowed my eyes while wondering if what Hojo said about the President setting Tseng up with a random female were true.

"Okay…" Angeal awkwardly breathed out as he slapped his hands onto his lap and stood while admitting, "I don't think this is your thing."

Then he smiled and waved me over to an open area and pulled his sword out in invitation.

"I think you have some aggression you need to work off… Go easy on me, okay?"

_Go easy on you… _I bitterly mused before I caught the jesting light in his eyes and smirked at him when I stood and unsheathed my sword.

Sometimes I wondered if he knew me better than I knew myself, or if it was just his way of dealing with emotionally awkward situations. It was hard to say because he dealt with me and Genesis differently. With Genesis, Angeal would grow sullen and tell him to deal with it himself. As a result, Genesis would grow moodier until he did what he was told. Whereas with me, it always turned into a friendly spar that seemed to lighten my mood and clear my head.

Part of me assumed that Angeal guessed there was something going on between Tseng and me that day. Though I never told him that the real issue was Hojo's insensitive attempt to drive a wedge between us. In some ways, I wondered if I should have said more of what was on my mind to them back then. Maybe if we were more open with each other about our individual and unspoken suspicions, the reality of our situations wouldn't have hit us as hard as it wound up doing.

We were both clueless and free as we danced on the tarmac with our weapons of choice, clashing against one another and meeting each others resistances. Something inside of us both probably flowed outward as the area we claimed grew wider and we defied gravity with the dangerous game of hunting the hunter, back and forth. Though worst of all, I don't think either of us were aware of it.

"I win," I told him as he laid on the ground and struggled for the wind I knocked out of him with the last blow.

The breeze blew my hair and I felt free as the last ounce of confusion I had washed away with the arrogant pride that replaced it. I stood as if I'd found the perfect meditation as the sound of my leather coat blew with the growing winds and I closed my eyes while keeping my sword steadily aimed down at Angeal's chest.

"A storm is coming," I purred, feeling lifted as I turned my face to the wind and felt the static and moisture mingle in the air, and Angeal nodded.

Then he tiredly pushed my blade to the side and stood before I walked to the edge of the building and looked over the city of Midgar, onto the horizon.

"Sometimes," I lowly started as I lifted my arms out like a bird and kept my sword aimed downward while I continued to hold it and the wind blew me slightly forward, "I feel like I could fly away."

Angeal only nodded, saying nothing as he leaned his back against the railing while he continued to heavily breathe. He kept his eyes on the ground like he was lost in his own thoughts. Then he nodded again and lifted his face into the wind with his eyes closed like I did, and he quietly admitted, "me too."

* * *

><p>It was close to nine-hundred hours when I made it home and it didn't take me long to discover that the power was out. Luckily, a flash of lightening helped me locate the drawer where the candles were kept and after I lit a few of them to place around the apartment, the lights came back on. Then I frowned when I noted that it appeared that Tseng hadn't been home that evening. There was no sign of dinner and nothing left in the fridge. His teapot seemed unused and the newspaper was still on the kitchen table where he left it that morning.<p>

With a sigh, I blew the candles out and gathered them onto the kitchen counter so that they could cool off. Then I decided to pass my time by mindlessly staring at the window and watching the rain fiercely beat against the glass until I noticed the flashing light on the answering machine.

It was Tseng.

He said he was called out to investigate something and I frowned when I heard the President's laughter in the background and what sounded like a handful of women. With a sarcastic thought brought on by Hojo's venomous tongue, I stabbed the erase button. I was too angry to listen to the rest of the message and I numbly stood there for a moment with my sword pierced through the middle of the machine.

_That was dramatic,_ I thought as I blankly regarded my actions, thinking that what I did was something that Genesis was more likely to do than me.

Then I ripped the machine out of the wall and growled while throwing it at the window without thinking.

_Look at what he's doing to you,_ I thought as I stared at the shattered glass in the kitchen and stepped closer while ignoring the sound of broken glass beneath my feet. The wind was blowing the shear curtains towards me like it was an entity reaching out to me, beckoning me to come closer. The kitchen table was soaked from the frozen tears of the beast that wailed outside and I pushed it aside without minding my own strength before I closed my eyes when another flash of lightening struck and the power went out again.

_I could always kill him,_ I thought, _I could kill them all…_

Then I gave my head a shake and reminded myself that it would do no good and I stepped closer to the window to look outside. The entire city was black for as far as I could see. The only visible light was from the sirens and a few fires scattered about, and I smirked at the bitter thoughts that ran through my head.

_Fools, _I thought while I narrowed my eyes at the peons below and convinced myself that they deserved it, and then I was yelled at when the door opened and Tseng stepped in while taking off his soaked blazer and draped it over his arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" he disbelievingly asked as he quickly waved his hand at the mess I made and he shook his head at me in disdain.

Then he abruptly ran to the bathroom while practically tearing at his bloodstained shirt like he couldn't wait to get it off and I slowly turned around while wondering what the hell _he_ was doing.

_How nice of you to decide to come home,_ I sarcastically thought while I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it had only been half an hour since I came home and made the mess that he didn't approve of.

"Hmph," I snorted without any sense of feeling, and then I coldly looked over to the bathroom where Tseng was running his shirt under cold water and scrubbing it under the light of a small flashlight that he placed on the counter.

"Where were you?" I accusingly asked and he grit his teeth while cussing under his breath and reminding me that, "I left you a message on the machine."

"I got that message," I coolly said as I slowly walked towards the bathroom while dragging the tip of my sword along the floor as if I were in a trance. "It sounded like you were at a party."

"I was," he admitted as if it shouldn't have concerned me in the least.

Then he sighed and shook his hands from the water while he stood back and stared at the counter while asking, "Do we have anything that can take out stains?"

"I can take out stains," I lowly purred while glaring at him.

He didn't seem to notice though. Instead, he asked me what I used and it angered me.

If this was what jealousy felt like, it was terrible and desirable at the same time, and rather than answer him, I moved faster than he could anticipate and I grabbed him from behind while he quickly held up his hands to defend himself from my blade at his throat.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" he yelled as my blade cut into his palms.

"You were with a woman!" I lowly accused into his ear while I held onto him by the waist and he abruptly jerked his head back to bash me in the mouth with his skull. The reaction caused me to let go of the sword and he threw it into the next room so that it was out of my reach.

Then he quickly pushed me into the tub and the shower curtain came crashing down on me when he asked, "Are you insane?"

After that, he kicked me in the shin as hard as he could and I winced from the sharp pain from those damned steel toed shoes that the asshole didn't bother to remove when he came home and he quickly jerked his hand to the kitchen and demanded, "Is that why you tore the kitchen apart?"

I don't think he cared about an answer though, because instead of letting me answer, he yanked on the cabinet over the toilet to tear it from the wall and then he pushed it in my direction where it toppled over me and I growled at him for being the cursed tonberry that he was.

Honestly, at the time, I couldn't figure out what his problem was.

At least, I couldn't figure it out until he turned and I saw the deep graze across his shoulder that looked like he was shot at. It was healing from the obvious use of restore materia, but it hadn't fully healed yet.

"For the life of me, Seph," he panted out as he rested his arm above his head against the door frame while he stared into the other room, and I carefully pushed the busted cabinet to the side so that I could try to get up, "You really piss me off sometimes."

Then he stared at his bloodied hands and frowned while he explained, "I was undercover at a party, you dumbass… Of course there were women there!"

* * *

><p>Well, in the end, he grabbed a roll of plastic that he kept in the closet and he taped it over the window while I swept the glass away. During that time, I kept my head down and my mouth shut while he mused over the fact that my jealousy had gotten out of hand lately.<p>

"Seriously, Seph," he scolded, "I can't even look at another woman without you going crazy."

_Well… you 'were' married to one…_

Then he confessed that he often suspected that jealous people were jealous because they were the ones that were screwing around as he walked passed me like it meant nothing and he put the plastic roll away. I'm not sure if he noticed my pause when he said it though. I wasn't sure if he was telling me something in a roundabout way or if I should have responded to it.

Truthfully, it was mostly women I was jealous of. I didn't know how to compete with them and I knew that he wasn't opposed to being with them. It drove me crazy and I was sure it was driving him crazy too.

* * *

><p>When I was finished cleaning the mess in the manner that he suggested I do so, I walked into the bedroom with my head down and noted that he was already under the covers and had fallen asleep.<p>

Then I kneeled at his side of the bed and gently brushed his hair from his face while admiring how beautiful he looked in the dim light from outside. He looked so peaceful when he slept that I could watch him for hours and I sighed as I lightly ran my fingers down his shoulder towards his hand and frowned.

The marks from my sword were still on his palms. Though they'd grown faint from the rapid healing of the potion he poured over them and I noted that he seemed to be healing slower than he used to—before the incident at Nibelheim. Then I turned my attention to the bullet graze on his shoulder. It had barely grown fainter.

"My tonberry…" I lovingly breathed out as I kissed the side of his head and let out a deep breath, "What would I do without you…?"

The thought made my heart sink as I dressed for bed and carefully got in beside him. I couldn't sleep though. It was like there was something that I needed to prove and I moved closer to him so that I could watch him as his eyes fluttered and he tensed for a second while muttering out something that sounded like, 'valentine…'

"You have no idea how much I love you," I confessed while looking up before a slight chill crawled up my spine with the feeling of being watched.

It was quickly brushed away the moment he turned and partially fluttered his eyes open. They appeared silvery in the low light and I wanted nothing more than to merge with him. I wanted it to last forever as our mouths met as if it were the first time and a dizzying blackness made everything feel like I was being touched everywhere at once.


	11. Changes In the Wind

**Changes In the Wind**

* * *

><p>It had been months since I agreed to watch her and not a day went by that I regretted it. There was a light about her. Her smile was contagious and her voice was like a song. Whenever I was around her, I felt as if I were walking on air.<p>

Her presence filled a void I thought could never be filled and I found myself looking forward to the days I got to be around her. It was probably the reason I ignored the protocol on the day I finally spoke to her. I was on my knees and smiling while looking into her emerald-green eyes as she reached towards me.

"Thank you," she politely said when I handed her the blue ribbon from the ground after dusting it off. The wind blew it from her hand when she went to tie her hair back and I knew it was important to her.

"My name is Aerith."

"Tseng," I responded, already knowing her name from her file. Then I stood and she firmly held her hand out to shake mine. Normally, I would have lied about my identity, but then again, I never would have made my presence known to someone I was ordered to investigate.

From that day, she called us friends. She was naive in her youth and she liked to call me her big brother. I never told her how old I was and I was more than happy to look upon her as the daughter I might have had.

She would have been the same age as my own had things been different.

"Here," I said and motioned for her to turn around. Her brown hair was a thick wavy mess from the wind and it kept going into her eyes. Then I took the ribbon back from her and asked while kneeling again, "Are you familiar with a braid?"

"A braid?" she excitedly asked. "Yes! But my mother hasn't had the time to teach me yet."

She was different from the other children in the slums. She was happy, trusting, and kind, and she emitted the same due respect from the other children around her.

President Shinra believed it was because she was an Ancient. He believed they had special abilities, and from what I'd seen in the short time I'd been watching her, I believed it too. She was the last of her kind and as precious as a desert rose to us. Though, our reasons for watching her had nothing to do with admiration.

We had very little to admire compared to the information we could gain from our research on her, and perhaps it was a mistake to make my presence known that day. I allowed myself a luxury I couldn't afford and revealed a vulnerability I thought I'd overcome. I believe those vulnerabilities were the reason she came to see us as friends. We both lost our families and we both felt lost and out of place. Only, she managed to find a way to fit in and be accepted through her forgiving and kind nature.

Sadly, I never had much of that to go on.

Days later, she came running up to me with a handful of wool scraps and asked me to teach her how to braid.

"My mom is always so tired when she comes home from work," she explained, "and I don't want to burden her if I don't have to."

"I doubt you could ever be a burden," I mused as we sat on a nearby bench and I took eighteen pieces of wool from her and handed half of it back after tying it at one end.

"Here," I said as I held the tied ends between my knees. "Like this… "

She was a quick learner but we spent over an hour because she kept redoing it to make sure she had it right and I caught myself smiling at her eagerness.

She had the same habits as my daughter and stuck her tongue out while she concentrated, but she took me off guard when she finally looked up at me with a thoughtful expression and said, "I've been meaning to ask you something for a while… but I'm afraid I don't know how."

"Oh?" I lightly asked while I quirked my brow and wondered how a little girl could possibly come up with something difficult to ask and offered her the best advice I could come up with. "Well, I find the best way to ask a question is to just ask it."

"Really…? You're not afraid you might upset someone?"

"No," I confessed. "I've never really been as compassionate as I am curious, I suppose."

"Then you won't get mad?"

"I don't see how I can answer that without knowing what it is you're going to ask," I playfully admitted.

"So, I should just ask it then," she concluded with a quick nod and I fought with myself to hold back a small chuckle before my next jest.

"Well, you've gotten my curiosity now… I think it would be rude if you didn't."

"Okay," she said as she awkwardly turned to me and thoughtfully ran her eyes over me in the same manner an adult would before she asked, "why are you so sad?"

"Pardon?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," she said and she quickly looked away while explaining that, "it's just… Your eyes… They always look so sad."

"Oh," I said. She took me off guard and I was left speechless while I stared at the back of her head and wondered how I should respond. She was too young to understand anything I might tell her and sharing my thoughts or my past with her wasn't something I was planning on doing.

She had her own burdens and it was never my agenda to befriend her in the first place, but for some strange reason, I mindlessly told her about my daughter and how she reminded me of her, and she thoughtfully looked at me and nodded when I was done.

"Saity doesn't want you to be sad," she told me, and then she hopped off the bench and held out her small hand for me to take. "Let me show you a place that always makes me feel happy."

"Okay," I said, and I let her lead me to an abandoned church where there was a small patch of fragrant flowers growing in the centre.

The floorboards were broken and the revealed earth was rich and fertile. Then I instinctively looked to the broken ceiling where the light from the sun shone through. It was odd when I considered that the sun never made its way to the slums because of the plate above.

It obscured the natural light and forced the people of the slums to survive under the cold fluorescent lighting that barely mimicked the sun. It was as cold and lifeless as the complexions on the residents, despite Aerith's warm glow and rosy cheeks. Though, stranger still, I realized that I never told her my daughter's name.

—Tseng

* * *

><p>"Get up!" Genesis demands as he barges into Tseng's room and starts pulling Tseng's clothes from the dresser so that he can stuff them into a medium-sized bag.<p>

"Why?" Tseng grumbles as he turns from the wall and rubs at his eyes while yawning.

"We're leaving!"

Genesis had been tearing the cabin apart for the last hour before he went into Tseng's room. I thought he was looking for something at first. Tseng had a habit of hiding things he felt would aid in his escape and Genesis developed a habit of searching the place whenever Tseng slept. It was an endless and tireless endeavour for them both.

Then I realized that he was packing and I recalled him telling Tseng a few days earlier that they should move. None of it struck me as odd until I noted that he was gone for most of the night and when he returned, he was almost in a frenzy over something. He appeared to be in a hurry, and even now, when he roughly yanks Tseng out of bed, he appears as if he can't get out of the cabin faster.

He ignores Tseng's grumbling and goes so far as to help Tseng put some warm clothes and a pair of boots on, despite that Tseng doesn't appreciate the haphazard attempt.

"I take it we're in a hurry?" Tseng wryly asks as he steadies himself and Genesis yanks him to the door while ignoring the fact that Tseng's boots weren't on properly and one of them falls off and stays near the bed.

"Just leave it!" Genesis hisses while yanking him closer. Then he drags him into the living area and grabs a blanket from the sofa and mumbles, "We'll just have to wrap you up… As the pampered _bitch _that you are, you should appreciate _that_!"

"No," Tseng grumbles as he places his palm on Genesis' face like he's trying to feel Genesis' expression before he roughly pushes him backwards. Then he straightens his collar and smirks while Genesis stumbles, and he cockily adds, "That doesn't meet my standards."

From there, they verbally and physically fight with each other in the typical manner that they often do, and like usual, neither of them really knows why any more.

My guess is that Genesis has no idea why he puts as much effort into it as Tseng does, and Tseng probably has no idea what it is that he's fighting for or against any more. They just do it because it's what they both do best.

They drive one another crazy for no known reason other than to spite each other.

It changes nothing though, by the time Genesis gets a decent grip on Tseng, he manages to drag him far enough away from the cabin. The fact that Tseng lost his other boot in the process has lost its importance to them and Genesis stops when the cabin is almost out of sight.

He stares at Tseng's snow covered socks, sighs, frowns, and pulls the shivering Turk close enough to keep him warm, only to be rewarded by a quick and unexpected push in the opposite direction.

The force causes them both to stumble backwards, and Genesis furrows his brows at Tseng in silent disapproval while they sit in the snow and large flakes fall from the sky to settle in their hair and on their shoulders. Genesis watches while Tseng stares into nothingness and stubbornly does his best to hide his shivers.

Then he shakes his head at Tseng and pushes himself from the ground while mumbling almost to himself that, "You have no idea what I go through to protect you." After that, he brushes the snow from his knees and shoulders, removes his coat and tosses it at Tseng. "Your stubbornness won't ward the cold for much longer… The temperature is dropping and you're already starting to break."

Genesis holds his hand up—palm facing the direction of the cabin—and he quietly says, "Fire3," to elicit a growling ball of flames that travels mercilessly towards the cabin. The flames devour the only place they've known as a home for over half a year with an echoing explosion that upsets the settled snow upon the delicate peeks surrounding them.

The sound of the resulting avalanche rumbles through the clouded grey skies at barely a safe enough distance.

Then he turns his attention back to Tseng and smiles when he sees the first twinge of genuine confusion, and is calmly asked, "What the hell did you just do?"

"We have a long night ahead of us," Genesis tells him as he steps closer and kneels to help Tseng to his feet. "But don't worry… I'm not about to leave your side any time soon… I'll ensure your comfort as always."

"Why did you destroy the cabin?" Tseng steadily asks with a hint of anger in his tone when he rises to his feet. Then he pushes Genesis backwards when he hears his mocking laughter and yells out, "That was our home!"

"_Our_ home?" Genesis curiously asks. His amusement disappears quickly and he turns chillingly calm as if he were taken off guard and needs a moment to regain himself while he slowly repeats, _"Our… home…?_

"My-my… You always spoke of _our_ home as if you felt it was _your_ prison," he says as he yanks Tseng towards him and smiles. "I had no idea you were harbouring such _sentimental_ feelings towards everything I've done to ensure your comfort. I naturally assumed you _abhorred_ your surroundings due to your countless attempts to escape.

"Yet here you are, _admitting_ that you've grown _comfortable_," Genesis muses as he pulls Tseng closer and brushes his thumb across Tseng's bottom lip while ignoring Tseng's sneer before he quickly jerks away from Genesis' touch. "Is there anything else you'd like to confess to me tonight…? Is there anything _else_ that you've grown _accustomed_ to?"

"You're insane," Tseng grumbles, unwilling to indulge in Genesis' sudden gloating. He's still shivering as Genesis pulls him closer and Genesis brushes his hair from his face in an admiring way.

"Perhaps…" Genesis starts while Tseng warily allows him to escort him to the nearby caverns. "Though, according to my observations, I would go so far as to say I'm the sanest person you've ever known… and that perhaps, you may be starting to _like_ it."

* * *

><p>For about two months, Tseng seemed like a different person. He was happier. At times, it almost seemed like he was walking on air. Part of me suspected that it had something to do with his assignment, and part of me wanted to suspect that he was finally comfortable with our living arrangement.<p>

He smiled more, laughed more, and his sense of humour had lightened. I began to believe that he was happier and more comfortable with me. Though, part of me felt I was being naive.

"Something's on your mind," he jested as he held his arm around my waist and clasped our hands together with the other while he lightly swayed us both to the music he was listening to. "Care to share?" he asked when he partially twirled and leaned his back to my chest.

"No," I muttered before I pulled him closer and breathed in the cologne I bought for him a while back.

It was a light and airy cologne, barely noticeable, and he wore it every day. He even went so far as to flatter me by asking what it was and where I got it.

"Why?" I asked

"So that I can buy more," he replied with a smile while he slowly turned to face me.

Then he looked up to me with a light to his rosy-brown eyes and waited while I stared back at him in admiration before I offered, "If you're running out, tell me. I'll buy you more."

"That won't do," he playfully responded. "What happens if I run out while one of us is on a mission?"

"I'll buy you more than one bottle then," I offered with a smile. Truthfully, his airiness was wearing off on me and I was feeling drunk in his presence.

"You spoil me too much," he breathed out before he gently pushed me away as if he were playfully sulking. Then he lazily plopped onto the sofa and let his head fall back while admitting, "I could kill for a glass of wine right now."

"You don't drink any more," I reminded him while noting his playful pout. "However… I do recall you mentioning that cranberry juice was the next best thing."

He chuckled at that, and I ignored the fact that it struck me as somewhat bitter before he mentioned that it wasn't the same.

Many things weren't the same since we first met. He wasn't fighting with me any more and he wasn't arguing, and I had to admit that I liked it. There was a time when I thought it was the challenge that attracted me to him, but when he changed, I began to think it was something else that I never noticed.

It was something that I couldn't put my finger on and it began to intrigue me more.

Suddenly, everything that happened with Hojo and Nibelheim didn't matter any more. The mysteries that I thought kept me going were no longer questioned and I wound up sitting beside him while contemplating the next step of our relationship for a change.

I didn't dare speak my thoughts though. Even though he was more relaxed, a part of me still treaded on eggshells whenever the idea of mentioning anything about our relationship to others sprang to mind.

Instead, I sat back, felt a small smile tug at the corner of my mouth, and I put my arm behind him while thinking that I could happily give up everything in the world for him.

My life, my soul… even my sanity… It was all at his beckon call.

* * *

><p>Though, some things never changed. Despite how much I loved him and would give up for him, a feeling that I began to recognize as neglect and justifiable guilt was tugging at my insides with little effect on my questionable actions. Tseng had little to no libido. He was affectionate and liked attention. He liked spending time with me and he enjoyed flirting, but when it came to the bedroom, he was always too tired, too busy, or simply never in the mood.<p>

He made me wonder if he was only playing with me sometimes. Maybe he wasn't as serious about me as I was about him. Yet, he was the only one I wanted and the only one I wanted to want me back.

It seemed like he didn't feel the same though. He was no longer the man I knew when we first met. His passion melted away and he became too content with doing nothing more than flirting with me and working, and more than a week later, I caught myself asking, _Why do I bother?_

I caught myself asking that question more frequently than I used to, despite the subtle nagging in the back of my mind that told me it might have been my fault. There was a possibility that he knew what I was doing when we were separated due to our jobs.

There was a possibility that he knew I couldn't resist the attention of the admirers I attracted, and there was a possibility that he knew what I was doing as I watched a fellow soldier dressing himself in the morning after sharing a bed with me.

_Could that be it?_ I wondered as I sat up and noted the faint light from the first signs of dawn creeping through the cracks of the closed curtains. _If it is… why doesn't he call me on it?_

I'm not sure how I would have responded if he did though, and it's possible there was a faint possibility that he might have suspected as I watched the Soldier pull his shirt over his head and do his belt up. His hair was black like Tseng's, but not the same texture. It was messier and slightly wavy, despite how neatly trimmed it was, and I wondered if it were possible that maybe it was Tseng that was more afraid of hearing the answer than I was of having to answer to it.

Maybe we felt it was easier to bury our heads in the sand, and as a result, the fire we used to ignite in one another dwindled to a dying flame that he struggled to keep alive by being more affectionate in familiar surroundings and then losing his nerve when it turned serious.

"Will you be joining us in the barracks for breakfast?" The soldier asked as he turned around and grabbed his sheath. He had a charming smile and a slight light in his eyes that I couldn't quite make out the colour of.

I only shrugged as an answer and adjusted the sheet that covered my lower half before quietly answering, "It's best if I don't spend too much time around you."

"I get it," he responded while he adjusted his pants. Then he leaned over and quickly pecked me on the cheek like he was fine with the sudden cold shoulder I was exhibiting before he added when he walked towards the door, "I've heard the rumours… You don't like attachments."

Then he turned around and paused with a devilish smile. "I wasn't expecting anything more from you if that's what you're worried about."

_Worried?_

I was unaware that I had any expression at all as I sighed and sat forward, still covering my lower half while giving no thought to the fact that I never made any effort to cover myself in front of others before I met Tseng.

I never knew or felt shame before he came into my life, and I reached over to grab my pants while holding the sheet to make sure it stayed in place while the Soldier quickly informed me that he was more than willing to have a casual 'romp' on occasion, if I were interested. I only nodded once without looking at him as an answer, and then I lowly stated that, "I'll keep that in mind," when he opened the door and stepped into the empty hallway with an assured smirk.

I could see it now. In my mind, Angeal would be standing over me with his arms crossed. His stern expression of disapproval would be worn heavy like a mask. Genesis would be egging me on, dancing behind me and singing like a bard about how my poor lover would feel if he ever found out, and Tseng…

Tseng would probably bury me with nothing more than the shadows he's capable of conjuring with those smouldering eyes of his. That's what happens when he's angry. He doesn't only lash out in a physical manner, he kills you with nothing but a darkening glare that draws you in like a tonberry.

_'Seriously, Sephiroth…' _They would say, _'How can you live with yourself?'_

The answer to that was always an easy one…

I didn't live by myself, but unfortunately, the truth was never as easy as the answer.

* * *

><p>I'm not sure how long I was standing against the building I was hiding behind when I returned. It might have been a twinge of guilt that led me to Sector 2 on a personal mission to find the cologne Tseng admitted to liking and I couldn't remember where I bought it.<p>

The next thing I knew I was walking through Sector 5. There was something therapeutic about walking through the slums by myself. It cleared my mind and it was working well until I heard a familiar voice and turned to see a Turk talking to a young girl like he'd known her for a while.

_Who the hell is that?_ I wondered, but rather than make my presence known, I hid behind the nearby building.

I'm not sure why I did it, and I wasn't sure why I felt as angry as I did.

It was a young girl. Nothing was out of sorts about her or her interactions with Tseng. I was certain I had nothing to worry about, but there was something about her that bothered me in a way I couldn't explain. Every small giggle made me ill, and the sweet sound of her voice was like a noxious fume that threatened my existence.

At the time, I was unaware of what she was or what Tseng's relationship with her was about. Though, something about her very presence was threatening, and I impulsively wanted to slay her in front of Tseng so that I could prove my valiancy to him. Then I wanted to drag him as far away from her as I could to ensure his safety. It wasn't only for me. There was something nagging at me that Tseng was also in danger from this little girl and I nearly followed my urges before Tseng lightly said, "Goodbye, Aerith," and he started walking away with a giddy expression on his face.

"When will I see you again?"

"I'm not sure," he said, sounding somewhat saddened all the sudden, and I removed my hand from the hilt of my sword and wondered what the hell was the matter with me.

Then I assumed she must have been that assignment he said he was on. He never said much more about it except that Lazard gave him a strange mission and that he wasn't sure what to make of it. About the only thing he admitted was that he felt like he was being sent on a babysitting assignment. He never said anything since then and I never questioned him further. Most of our assignments were classified, and I figured that If I didn't know anything about it, then I probably wasn't meant to.

This, however, did seem odd, and I was suddenly unsure of what to make of it myself.

* * *

><p>Tseng wasn't the only person that was acting strangely though. Genesis had also changed. He took my relationship with Tseng in stride and rarely spoke of it, saving most of it for the times when he caught me with someone else.<p>

"Do you really believe you can keep this charade up forever?" he asked, no longer playful about it and sounding almost as chastising and disapproving as Angeal. "For all you know, he already knows. He's not stupid, you know."

"He would have said or done something by now," I answered as I closed the door to my Junon apartment and Genesis took his coat off and made himself comfortable on the sofa after dusting off the surface of the cushion with his hand.

"What makes you so sure he hasn't?" he casually asked as he picked up the newspaper from three months ago, shook the dust from it and smirked at the headline. Again, it wasn't a playful question. "You said it yourself… you don't think he's interested in you any more. You feel like he's playing with you most of the time."

Then he tossed the paper onto the coffee table, causing a small cloud of dust to puff into the air and he kicked his feet up while ignoring it. "Perhaps it's because he's disgusted by the fact that you can't keep it in your pants."

_No…_ I assumed while wishing that he would quit obsessing over the topic. I knew he was mad about it. He'd been acting put off since he saw me sneaking out of the hotel that morning. Though I couldn't say why it was any of his business.

Then I shook my head and walked into the kitchen while frowning at the film of dust over everything. The last time I was in Junon was three months ago, and I concluded that I probably needed a housekeeper while I was away at the same time I was thinking that, _He lost interest in me long before I started cheating on him…_

With a nod to reassure myself, I had to assume that he started losing interest in me after his wife and daughter passed away. From there, he gradually grew more distant. Though, the final nail in the coffin had to be the night I took him down to Hojo after he threw up something unrecognizable and then passed out.

When he awoke on Hojo's examination table, Hojo outwardly called us lovers and Tseng was offended and tried to walk out.

Hojo demanded that I stop him and I grabbed Tseng from behind without giving it any thought. I even went so far as to cover his mouth when he tried to raise his voice.

There was a struggle between us until Hojo injected Tseng with something that appeared to knock him out. Then he demanded that I leave and I did as I was told.

Nothing about the incident felt right when I thought about it afterwards, and the more I thought about it, the more I questioned my own inability to question Hojo.

_Why did I do that?_ I wondered while I stared at the take out menu on the table. _Why didn't I ask what was going on?_

"I shouldn't have left him there…" I muttered to myself while thinking that Tseng seemed to avoid me after that, and I snapped out of it when Genesis asked, "Pardon?"

"Nothing," I replied. Then I grabbed the menu and offered, "Wutian?"

He sneered in distaste and then said, "Sure."

After a quick phone call, I walked back into the living room and leaned against the wall behind the sofa, almost relishing in the fact that I was able to eat something that Tseng refused to have anywhere near him. At the same time, I was also feeling guilty over the fact that Tseng appeared to be acting more affectionate before I left for Junon.

Then I started reflecting on the conversation I overheard between Genesis and Angeal earlier that day.

I still hadn't said anything about it and I wasn't sure if I heard it correctly. I could have also misinterpreted it. Though it was more likely that I didn't want to find out whether it were true or not since it went something like this…

_"You'll never guess who I saw coming out of one of those Motels in Wall Market this morning."_

_"You sound like you have a dilemma," Genesis responded._

_"I do…" Angeal replied. "I'm not sure, actually."_

_"Well… which is it?"_

_"I wish I knew," he said. "But it was Tseng… It could have been a mission…?"_

_"Doubtful…" Genesis snickered out, seeming oddly uncomfortable all the sudden. Then he quickly asked with a sudden interest, "Did you see who he was with?" _

_"No," Angeal answered before he quickly shook his head and furrowed his brows when Genesis perked up and smiled like it was the best news he'd heard in a long time. "It's not funny Genesis… I need to know if I should tell Sephiroth… it's what friends do, right?"_

Genesis' answer was unexpected. A while back, it was in character for him to say, 'Yes… Definitely,' or even to point out that I was getting what I deserved. Instead, he calmly shook his head like he was deep in thought. Then he quietly commented that, _"I don't think you should say anything… Just think of the mess you could cause over something that could be nothing… After all, it could have had something to do with a mission."_

After that, he walked away with a strange smile on his face and a doubtful look in his eyes.

They kept their voices low and neither of them knew I was within earshot. At least, I was certain that Angeal never knew. Genesis, on the other hand…

Well, things weren't always what they seemed with Genesis.

He was a paradox. He was honest to a fault, yet a vindictive liar if it suited him. He could be loyal to you one moment, and then stab you in the back the second you turned away. At times, I wondered if passion was his only driving force.

Other times, I had no idea, and I decided not to over-think the matter while I stared at the back of his head and decided to finally test the ground as I walked towards the sofa to sit beside him.

"You don't think he's having an affair… Do you?"

"No," Genesis responded, giving it no thought at all while he shook his head and absurdly laughed out, "Definitely not."

Maybe I worded it wrong. I wasn't sure, but there was no hesitation to his answer and he couldn't have sounded more sure of himself.

I might have pressed it further, but Angeal showed up, and shortly after, we were eating take-out and then bidding the day farewell with a friendly spar among friends.

* * *

><p>If I had known how things were going to wind up when I returned to Midgar, I may have spent my time differently. For one, I may have refrained from my sordid affairs, and for two, I might not have called Tseng after Genesis told me he was going on a mission in the North with him in the weeks to come.<p>

It was near the end of our stay in Junon and I wound up calling Tseng in the middle of the night with no other intention than to start an argument after finding out that they could be stuck together for months—just the two of them.

I should have known better. I should have known that Genesis liked to embellish his stories, and I should have known that accusing Tseng of visiting sordid Motels in Wall Market was going to have a negative side-effect.

It didn't stop me though, and the more I thought about it on my way back home, the more I realized that I shouldn't have said the things I said to him.

As a result, I did my best to make amends when I walked through the door to an empty apartment and decided I'd wait for him while trying to come up with a way to rectify my mistakes.

* * *

><p>"I see you've made some new friends," I said when Tseng made it home that evening.<p>

After an odd pause, he shook his head and said, "I'm not in the mood to do this right now."

Then he walked to the bathroom while removing his blazer and I curiously watched him act like he was avoiding me. Again, conflicting thoughts invaded my mind with intertwining guilt and accusations.

"I meant the girl," I said as I stood up and walked to the door.

"Leviathan… Seph…" he breathed out like I couldn't have frustrated him more by saying what I said. "There is no _girl_."

I realized how it sounded when he responded and I tried as best as I could to rectify the misinterpretation. "I meant the little girl you were with… before I left, I saw you talking to her," I said, hoping that I could lighten the air between us. "You looked happy."

"Leviathan," he muttered. Then he admitted that, "I'm not supposed to be talking to her."

"Oh?" I responded, before I wondered aloud, "Then why are you talking to her?"

"It just… sort of happened," he explained as he pulled the elastic from his hair and combed it out, "and now… I can't stop myself."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place," I stated in a toying manner as I walked closer to him and he roughly pushed me back while stating something along the lines that maybe I should take my own advice.

Then he neatly put the elastic back in his hair and tossed his brush back on the counter before he walked into the bedroom like he wanted nothing to do with me.

It was at that point, that Genesis and Angeal's private conversation came back to me like a flood. Part of me suspected that he knew about my casual relations on the side, and another part of me suspected that he found someone new. It wouldn't have been the first time.

After all, my imagination was becoming more active and he was married when he was screwing around with me, and now it was possible that I was the one being screwed around on.

On the other hand, there was another possibility, and it was the one I least wanted to consider. It was possible that he knew what I was doing and that he decided to retaliate by doing the same thing.

That was when Genesis came to mind again. In the past, he wanted nothing more than to wedge himself between me and Tseng. It was like that from the start. He made no attempt to hide his contempt over the fact that he saw him first and that I somehow 'cheated' him on a deal we never made.

He also never refrained from trying to light a fire under our relationship by constantly telling me what Tseng was doing. Yet he never spoke to Tseng about what I was doing, and stranger still, he chose to keep the conversation he and Angeal had to himself.

Why?

Was it possible that he didn't want me knowing because he was the one that Tseng was with?

Maybe he did tell Tseng and I didn't know because rather than confront me on the matter, Tseng chose to retaliate instead.

After all, they were going on a mission together. How was I to know that there was any mission at all? Maybe it was their way of running away together while leaving me behind to play the fool.

The next thing I knew, I was standing at the doorway to our bedroom and watching Tseng undress like I was disgusted by him while lowly purring out, "You're not sleeping with Genesis, are you?"

At first, he laughed like he was stunned and appalled by the notion. Then he paused like he was giving it some thought before he shook his head and laughed again.

"Really?" he asked, like he was suddenly annoyed again. "I haven't seen you for over a month and all you want to say to me is…?"

"I didn't _say_ it," I corrected. "I _asked, _and you haven't answered."

"It didn't sound like a question as much as it did an accusation, Sephiroth," he argued back while slipping into a more comfortable pair of slacks.

Again, he avoided answering even though I doubted he would ever have a problem coming up with a lie.

He was talented when it came to lying. He'd been doing it all his life and it was second nature to him. He didn't even need a reason to do it. He'd just do it and think nothing of it.

It was like Hojo had been telling me all along. Tseng lied, cheated, and did countless other things of a questionable nature.

_"He's dubious and malevolent, Sephiroth… You'll regret this if you don't get rid of him!"_

There he was in my head again. Hojo's mad ranting about the evils that Tseng was going to rain down upon my world, and I suspiciously stared at Tseng while trying to read his unreadable expression.

He looked unimpressed and disgusted, and I had no way of telling whether the expression was genuine or not. I had no way of knowing whether he told the truth or not, and I began to wonder if I ever knew him at all.

He was multifaceted and different for everyone. He was proper and chastising around Reno, conniving and secretive around Rufus, and a major ass-kisser when it came to the President.

"Who are you?" I finally blurted out as I moved to the bed and sat on the edge while he searched for a casual shirt that suited his mood. They were all the same colour and I never understood what it was he was really searching for when he was looking for something to wear.

The question caused him to sneer and shake his head while I curiously studied him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You," I pointed out, noting that he wasn't turning around and that he was still avoiding me for some unknown reason. "I have no idea who you are any more."

Then he let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled that, "That's because you never want to discuss anything involving me," as he quickly threw on a shirt and walked out of the room like he was angry about something.

_Did I miss something?_ I wondered.

_What the hell is his problem?_

In many ways, I was clueless when it came to him, and he knew it. Sometimes he used it to his advantage, and other times it frustrated him in ways I could never understand. The biggest problem was that I never knew which was which, and I never bothered to try to find out.

He called me selfish and egotistical on several occasions, and although I never saw the harm in such labels, he was right.

I just didn't care enough to realize it back then, and I followed him back into the living room where he suddenly turned on me after I asked him who the girl was that he was talking to earlier.

Somehow, in my mind, I thought it would rectify all of my mistakes if I took his mind off of what ever it was that was bothering him by changing the topic, but it didn't.

"That's what I'm talking about!" he said to me as he angrily pointed while doing up the buttons on his shirt with his other hand. "The _only _time you _ever_ want to talk to me is when you want to have _sex_ or to accuse me of something _you're_ more likely to do than _me_!"

"That's probably because you never _want_ to talk," I fired back, not paying much mind to the accusation as if I were avoiding it. "You turn everything I say against me."

"Against you?" he asked, despite that it sounded a little mocking. "You never hear what I have to say, Sephiroth. You either cut me off because you're not interested, or you have some half-assed solution that only works in your imagination," he spat out. "Well, guess what? There's a real world out there and it's not as black and white as you want to pretend it is! Nor does it have _anything_ to do with the accusations you place upon me by your _own_ affairs!"

It was true. He never wanted to talk about anything, and lately, whether I wanted to admit it, he was probably right about it having to do with the fact that I acted like I never cared about what he had to say.

We were probably both to blame for our actions and it was probably that behaviour that started pulling us apart.

It probably also had to do with the last thing he said. I could no longer avoid it and I brushed it off as best as I could but it didn't change the uncomfortable silence that followed.

That was when I realized I was no different from him when it came to games, and I finally repeated those dreaded words as if it finally sank in, "My_ own _affairs…?"

"Yes," he answered, with a quick nod as he did the last of his buttons up and slipped his shoes on. Then he walked passed me without looking at me and cut me off when I went to defend myself. "I have no desire to fight with you tonight… We haven't seen each other for over a month and I was hoping that we could just… not fight about what either of us thinks the other is doing."

_The other is doing…?_

He knew. He always knew, and I chose to deny it any way.

"What are you saying?" I dumbly asked. I suddenly realized that I wasn't afraid of what he knew because I was sure that I could do something to convince him otherwise. In no less than a second, I convinced myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong because I managed to turn it all around by focussing on all of his flaws instead of my own, and I suddenly asked before I gave him a chance to answer, "Where are you going?"

"To a game," he answered as he opened the door and turned to stare at me for a moment like there was something on his mind that he didn't want to discuss, and then he explained that, "Reno invited me earlier. Our entire group is going and I decided I might enjoy spending some time with the people I share my life with."

"I just got back," I slowly responded, "and you decide that a game with your friends is your biggest priority…?" All I could do to stop myself from strangling him was to stand there and stare at him while concluding that, "You did this on purpose… For someone who says they don't want to fight, you sure as hell went out of your way to start one, didn't you…? You planned this."

He cockily smirked and grabbed his jacket that was already waiting for him by the door. Then he stared at me and met my eyes like he was satisfied before he advised me to, "Don't wait up for me. I have no intention of returning at a reasonable hour."

Then he closed the door and left like he couldn't have cared less about the possible consequences of his actions.


	12. Red

**Red**

* * *

><p>For the last hour, Genesis stays near the fire he set up. He occasionally shivers and warms his hands over it. The cold bothers him sometimes. I've discovered it usually gets to him when his energy runs low.<p>

He decided that after his failed attempt to get Tseng to warm himself up that he would enjoy the fire alone. Only once did he glance into the shadows where Tseng chose to sit. He'd grown uncomfortably quiet and appeared that he decided that freezing to death was his goal after he threw Genesis' coat at him and told him where to shove it.

At first, Genesis fought with him to get him near the fire, and when that failed, he gave up and chose to ignore him. He couldn't do it for long though. When he noted the frozen crystals building on Tseng's clothes and hair, he removed his coat and threw it over the man whether he wanted it or not while grumbling that, "It's amazing your stubbornness didn't kill you years ago."

That was the most effort he put into it. He chose to ignore that Tseng's feet were still exposed, and he wasn't able to fully hide the irritation in his expression over the matter, not that it mattered. I'm assuming it was because he figured that Tseng would eventually take care of it himself.

Tseng didn't though. He never moved. He remained silent and left Genesis wondering if he could even hear him before he finally let the silence get to him and decided to justify his actions. "It wasn't like you had anything of value in that cabin," he says as if he's annoyed. "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"It's not the cabin," Tseng finally says. His voice sounds raspy and bitter while he blankly stares in Genesis' direction.

"What is it then?"

"It's the sound of your voice and the fact that I _can't _shut you out anymore."

"Really?" Genesis slowly says as he stands and turns to Tseng like he's surprised. "I've barely spoken a word since we left."

"It's all you do!" Tseng says. "There's no door to shut out your _incessant_ talking! You _never _shut up! All you _ever_ do is talk, and most of your _talk_ is about _Sephiroth_!

"It's like you're _obsessed_ with him and it makes me _wish_ that you were still obsessed with that infernal play by Loveless! I know all the _words_, Genesis! You know why? It's because you never shut up!" Tseng hisses as he stands and lets the coat fall to the ground like he had no idea it was there in the first place. "But now…" he madly laughs out. "Now… you have a _new_ play, and it's one that you've contrived on your _own_!"

"You're angry about something," Genesis calmly observes in a tone that suggests he has no idea what it is that set Tseng off.

"For the last several _hours_, you've done _nothing_ but talk and go on about _Sephiroth_!"

"It hasn't been _several_ hours," Genesis corrects. "And the last time I mentioned Sephiroth's name was back at the cabin. Clearly, something else is bothering you."

"I DON'T CARE!" Tseng hysterically screams out. "I'm _Sick_ of listening to you go _on_ and _on _like you're in love with the sound of your own voice, and I'm sick of you going on about _Sephiroth_! He's _dead_! He's been dead for over half a decade!"

"You know," Genesis casually cuts in as if he's decided to play along, "saying it like that only makes it sound like it's been longer than it really has." Then to add fuel the fire, Genesis decides to stir things up by saying, "Does it help you cope with the loss better? I know you never did get over him… Sephiroth, that is…"

"You make me _sick_," Tseng hisses. Then he laughs out, "You _are_ sick! _No _one in their right _mind _would _obsess _over half the things you do, let alone a man that you betrayed the way that you did. Right from the first day I met you—_all _of you! You have done _nothing_ but compete with him and _sulk_ over everything you lost to him! You even took it out on _me!_

"And you know what?" Tseng asks, sounding like a madman while tapping his middle finger against his temple and Genesis merely shakes his head while crossing his arms over his chest. "You act like _you _were the one that was in _love_ with Sephiroth! That's right, you _insane _lunatic! You didn't strike out at _him_ to get a _me_! You went after _me _to get at _him_!"

Tseng couldn't have been more sure of himself at that moment, and for the first time, I don't think he'd ever been so wrong. It might be the situation he's been trapped in for too long that his ability to think clearly is disappearing all together.

Or maybe he no longer cares.

Regardless, he finally leaves Genesis speechless while he continues to rant like a madman about how sick Genesis is making him, and how disgusted he is at the mere thought of the sound of his voice.

"You talk so much that I hear you _babbling_ away in my sleep about the same _nothingness_ that you always go on about!" Tseng spits out while dancing his fingers through the air above his head. "When I try to close my eyes, all I can hear is your _voice_, over and over about the same _nonsense_ you go on about day in and day out! It's like a nauseous _ringing_ sound in my ears that won't go away!

"I can't _stand _you, Genesis!" Tseng yells as he kicks at the coat and then picks it up and throws it at the fire while hissing out that, "I can't stand anything about you!"

"Well," Genesis quietly says as he calmly saves his coat from the flames and brushes it off. Then he shrugs while letting out a quick snort and admits that, "You're absolutely right. I did go after you to get back at him. However, your deduction why is as skewed as your appearance right now."

Tseng may have snapped at this point. The moment Genesis opens his mouth again, he presses his palms so hard to his ears that it seems like he's trying to squish his own brains out of his head, and the second Genesis tries to stop him, Tseng screams so loud that the ice in the cavern shatters, leaving Genesis to dodge the lethal shards that fall from above.

"AAAGGGHHH!"

After that, everything goes quiet. I could have sworn that I heard his voice during the commotion. It was like he was deliberately talking to me through some kind of veil like he knew I was with him, begging for death.

"Why…?" he outwardly whimpers, sounding exhausted as black smoky tendrils spread out from his back like snakes in the formation of wings before they aggressively plunge into the frozen ground his face is pressed against. "Why did you do this to me?" Streams of iridescent green mako start to run from the tips and they emerge and solidify where they end, forming solid crystalline structures. It reminds me of the prisons Chaos and his clan were imprisoned in.

Lucrecia discovered the secret, and I'm starting to wonder if she knew more about what's inside of Tseng than Hojo knew. Or was her own imprisonment an accident?

"Why don't you just let whatever's chasing us catch us… be finished with us…?"

"What makes you think something's chasing us?" Genesis asks from somewhere in the shadows above. He fled to the heights when he realized what Tseng was doing. He used the falling shards to distract Genesis in hopes that he could imprison him in mako and be done with him.

"I heard the footsteps," Tseng tiredly confesses as he pushes himself to his knees. "A couple of days ago, someone came to the trails below us… they've been lingering since… It's what we're running from, isn't it?

"You've been cautious from the start, as if you were trying to hide something—_us_ from something, and since that day, you've been talking about relocating."

"I have," Genesis confesses as he slowly descends from the shadows and quietly toys with something in his hand like he's regretfully contemplating something. Then he quickly grabs Tseng from behind and grips his fingers into his jaw to pry his mouth open before he dumps something into his mouth and roughly forces him to swallow. "And thanks to all the noise you've been making, we're going to have to move faster than I'd planned on!"

After that, he waits for Tseng's struggles to wear down before he passes out from whatever it was that Genesis forced him to swallow, and he gently lays Tseng onto his back and wipes the partially frozen tears from the outer corners of his closed eyes away while quietly breathing out, "Look at you… you're going mad and you've worn yourself out…

"It will pass… we just need to be patient…"

He slings Tseng over his shoulder after that as if he'd never expressed a moment of conflicting compassion while complaining that, "You have no idea what I go through because of you... _Everything_… I do, because of _you_!"

* * *

><p><em>"My friend, do you fly away now?"<em>

Whatever it was that Genesis was reciting was meaningless to me. For most of the morning, he recited from a book that was given to him by a fan of his. It seemed to be a new thing for us and we were suddenly treated as if we were famous. It wasn't uncommon in the barracks where the people that idolized us were the same people that knew us. This, however, was new. It was the common people that learned of our deeds over the years and started following our ventures through the news and other articles or hearsay. I suppose it never should have surprised us. We'd been around the globe more times than we could count.

It still took us by surprise though. We didn't know what changed, when, or how, but it was no longer about us saving the people or their homes as it was about us impressing them in various ways, and when they began following our quests, we inadvertently began putting on a show. We weren't consciously aware of it at the time, but looking back, we were exhibiting more flair than we used to. It was also something that did little to impress the man I was obsessed with and it helped to fuel the war that was going on between us.

He could no longer talk to anyone without me accusing him of having an affair with them, and I could no longer open my mouth without him wanting to ram something down my throat. It was getting to the point where neither of us knew why we stayed together, other than the fact that I think we were both plotting to kill each other in our sleep. For me, it was because I didn't want to share him with anyone else and I wasn't willing to let him go, and for him, I think it was because I was already sharing myself with everyone else and then accusing him of doing the same.

_"My friend, the fates are cruel…"_

Back then, I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing. I managed to convince myself that I wasn't doing it or that it was justifiable due to our jobs. Sometimes, we spent months away from each other and I missed him and wanted him near.

Eventually, I convinced myself that it was a substitution for him. I made every effort to convince Tseng as well and believed that he should have been flattered that I missed him that much. Only, he didn't see it that way and he wouldn't hear me out. His fowl mouth made no effort to sweeten his thoughts, and I made no effort to hold back when I hit him after the viperous sting of his slap numbed the side of my face when I told him that it never would have happened if he made more of an effort to satisfy my needs.

He was a tonberry. Straight to the core, he was nothing more than a death-trap. His only purpose in life was to spread the darkness that emanated from his soul. I should have seen the signs. No man had eyes as black as his. He was cold. If I weren't so enchanted by the spell he cast on me at the beginning, I would have noticed how vile and twisted he was on the inside, and I should have left him alone. I should have let Genesis have him from the start.

_"Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul…"_

That in turn, reminded me that he and Genesis were leaving for the Northern continent that night—together. Part of me said they could have each other. They were meant for each other. They were both backstabbing and pretentious. They shared the same interests, and they both behaved as if the world had turned on them and let them down. They were made for each other and they deserved each other, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Tseng and I had nothing in common.

The more I rationalized it, the less it made sense to me though. The less I understood why it bothered me so much, and the less I could stand the thought of the two of them alone together. The thought made me feel ill. It made me realize that I'd have to kill them—both of them.

_"When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end…"_

Yet at the same time, I hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

I didn't think I could live without him. Everything about him made me feel alive, despite that I was rotting inside over my obsession for him. The way that he smiled, the way he looked at me during those moments that mattered…

It was my own actions that destroyed what we had. His eyes had grown cold and his smile was only a memory that I struggled to hang onto. The weeks that followed us to the day he and Genesis were leaving for the Northern Continent had been a losing battle, and part of me knew it was my own doing.

I had no idea why I was doing it. No matter who I put the blame on—Tseng, Hojo, Genesis, whomever was convenient at the time…

It was me that kept the wounds fresh.

_"I offer thee, this silent sacrifice…"_

Maybe it was best that he was going away for a while. Maybe it was what I needed to clear my head. Genesis wouldn't be around to put ideas where they didn't belong, and Tseng would have the time he needed to cool down. I could also make amends. I could hold a candle for him until he returned.

This was my chance to correct my mistakes and start over. We could do it right the next time around, and I would do my best to forget that they were going to be alone together.

* * *

><p>"That was… different," Angeal said, breaking me away from my thoughts as he stood near me and stared at the ground. He was leaning against the chained fence behind him and his arms were crossed over his chest in his usual manner. He was the only one of us that wore a sleeveless shirt and complained that nothing fit comfortably over his muscular arms.<p>

Then Genesis closed the book he was reading to us and we both watched him close his eyes as if he were taken by the words and he needed time to contemplate their meaning.

There wasn't much to decipher in my eyes. It didn't matter that I wasn't listening to him as much as I was to my own inner struggle. It was mostly because every phrase that I happened to catch made no sense. It was the ramblings of a…

Something or other.

"It's a play by Loveless…" Genesis finally breathed out before he opened his eyes and hopelessly regarded Angeal, "And 'different' hardly does it justice."

"Well…" For a moment, Angeal hesitated before he rubbed at the back of his neck and awkwardly snickered out that, "I guess I'm just at a loss for words."

"Or a lack of understanding," Genesis said as if he were frustrated by Angeal's inability to see things the same way he did, and then they both looked at me as if searching for someone to back them up and I merely shrugged.

I didn't get it either, and I wasn't in the mood to get into the middle of their dispute. Sometimes I would do it for kicks, but this time, I had my own battle with myself.

Not to mention that Genesis was the last person I wanted to defend that day, even if I understood what the hell it was he was talking about.

* * *

><p>As the day went on, nothing much changed. Genesis continued to recite from his book in hopes that we'd understand it the same way he did, and Tseng managed to avoid me at every turn. On the rare moments that we ran into each other by chance, he gave me the cold shoulder as if he had more important things to do than deal with me.<p>

In a way, I was used to it. I was invisible to him. He behaved as if I meant nothing to him from the beginning, particularly when we were in public. Only, it was bothering me more than usual.

"So…" I said as I walked into his office while he was digging through his filing cabinet. Then I closed the door behind me and asked, "What's your problem?"

"I don't have time for this right now, Sephiroth," he said as he frowned when he pulled out a file. "I'm very busy."

"You're always busy."

"It's the nature of my job. You know that," he said. Irritation weighed heavy in his tone and he pulled out another file before he closed the drawer and opened the one below it so that he could rummage through that one as well.

"I get that," I grumbled. "But that doesn't change the fact that you can't even acknowledge me when we pass each other in the hallway."

"Leviathan, Sephiroth… What the hell do you want?" he asked as he slammed the drawer and turned to regard me with that angry glare of his that reminded me of a tonberry the moment you got too close to it. "Am I to tend to your ego every second I'm in your presence?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Really? Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that a simple, 'hi,' or even a nod would suffice."

"That's right…" he sarcastically said as he tossed his files onto his desk and ignored the papers that slid off the other edge from the force. "I forgot that I was supposed to salute you every time I'm in your presence."

"You've become a real jerk," I finally said as I leaned against his door and crossed my arms over my chest while regarding him as if I couldn't have been any less impressed with him. "You know that?"

"I learn from the best," he coldly responded while he stared at me like he was accusing me of something. Then he told me to get the hell out of his office and I refused to budge.

That seemed to irritate him as he darkly glared at me and gathered his files while shaking his head. Then he walked toward the door and motioned his free hand at me like he was asking me to scoot, and I still refused to move.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what your problem is."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I was busy," he told me with a serious tone as he nudged me to get me to move and I still refused to budge.

Then he went to push me and I reacted by flipping him onto the floor so that he landed on his back with such a force that it knocked the wind out of him and the papers in his file went flying into the air. It was a reaction—nothing more—and I coldly looked down at him while he choked and struggled for breath.

"You didn't say please," I told him in a dead tone before I noted the papers that fell from his files and I knelt down to see what was more important than me while he continued to choke for air. "Like you, I also feel that I deserve a little _respect_," I sarcastically said as I picked up the papers and flipped through them while slowly adding, "I also learn from the best."

Then I turned the papers over so that he could see them and asked, "What the hell is this?"

"What's it look like?" he spitefully choked out, and I placed my hand over his chest when he went to get up and pushed him back down.

"A deed?" I coaxingly asked as I held it closer to his face. "Is this what you were in a hurry for?"

I was furious over the papers all the sudden. It took everything to stop myself from trying to crush him, and I could hardly refrain from grinding my teeth when I asked, "When were you planning on telling me you were moving out?"

"I wasn't," he defiantly told me.

"So…" I started as I slowly stood and turned the signed papers over so that I could look at them again. The obvious conclusion was that he was buying his own place, and he never bothered to discuss it with me or let me know. The only signatures on it were his, and I deducted that he must have been on his way to finalize it when I came in. "You were just going to pack your things and go? What…? Were you hoping I wouldn't notice?"

"We both know there's no way you'd let me go if I bothered to discuss it with you first."

"So, you were just going to sneak out?" I asked, before I narrowed my eyes at him and added, "With Genesis?"

"Leviathan," Tseng said in frustration as he stood and readjusted his pony tail. "Is that the conclusion you've come to?" Then he went to grab the papers from me and I pushed him back. "You can't…" He hesitated for a moment as if he were overwhelmed by something before he sarcastically finished his sentence, "Come up with any other reason for me to leave than that?"

"Nothing comes to mind," I honestly told him.

I was serious. My mind was blank and all that came up was him running off with Genesis. Maybe someone else, but nothing else came to mind besides him running off to be with someone else, and it rubbed me the wrong way.

"You disgust me," he factually stated when he went to snatch his papers back from me again and I pushed him against his desk.

Then he laughed at me and motioned his hands in futility as I tore up his papers and he said, "I honestly thought you'd be happy to be on your own."

"Why's that?" I coldly asked, not really caring about the answer.

"Seriously?" he asked. "You're sick."

"That's why I'd be happy?" I asked as if I weren't really paying attention while I continued to tear his deed into the smallest possible pieces.

"No," he coldly responded as he straightened himself up and stood beside me so that he could glare at me sideways—like it had an effect or something. "I thought you'd be thrilled to have the freedom to fuck whomever you wanted—whenever you wanted—without trying to hide it or justify it."

"Why would I do that?" I asked as I opened my hands, palms to the floor, and let all his itty-bitty, tiny pieces of scrap paper fall to the floor at our feet. Then I coldly smiled at him while he stared at me in disbelief.

"There's nothing to stop me from staying in a hotel, Sephiroth."

"You used to call me 'Seph'," I responded, before I narrowed my eyes at him and said that, "And I can just as easily stop you from doing that as much as I can anything else… All I have to do is open my mouth."

"Threatening me won't get your way anymore."

"Really?" I asked. Then I flirtatiously leaned closer as if I were flattered and ignored the fact that he leaned back as if he were appalled. "Does that mean you're _finally_ capable of admitting to the world that you willingly share a bed with other men… and that you _like_ it?"

Then he slapped me and coldly said with a hint of concern in his voice that, "I really think you need to get your head checked."

"So do you," I responded while rubbing my cheek and keeping my eyes locked to his. "You have identity issues."

After that, I warmly smiled at him and went to caress his cheek to show that I was genuinely concerned about him. For some reason, he flinched before cautiously stepping away from me. Then he grabbed his other files, which I made sure were related to his work before I let him take them, and I asked him if he wanted me to pick up anything special for dinner that night.

"Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be," he said without looking at me as he walked to the door. "You know damned well that I'm not coming home for dinner."

"We'll see about that," I responded.

Then I picked up the papers from his floor and tidied up his desk while he opened his door and quickly walked away like he couldn't get away from me fast enough.

* * *

><p>In a way, I knew what I was doing, and I knew that it wasn't normal. I knew it was crazy whenever I went through his belongings in his absence. I also knew that he was concerned about me and that I was torturing us both by holding him prisoner. What I was doing to him wasn't fair. It was selfish, and what I was doing to myself was self-destructive.<p>

Back then, I didn't see it that way though, despite what I knew. All I needed was a little justification. I needed some proof. I needed him to be the bad guy so that I could use his faults as a shield against my own. Somehow, it would right the wrongs.

It didn't though, and when he didn't show up for dinner that night, I was furious. I could feel the blackness welling up inside with a wickedly explosive force, and it took everything I had to calm myself down.

Had he really gotten to the point where he didn't care?

Or was he only calling me on my bluff?

Maybe he knew I wouldn't expose him for fear of having nothing to hold over him. His fear of admitting his sexuality to the world was the only ammunition I had against him. It was the proverbial carrot, so to speak. I used it to dangle in front of his face whenever I wanted him to follow along.

Not that I'm saying he was an ass.

Well, he was in his own way, but in many ways, I may have been the one to show him how to perfect his cold exterior. I may have been the one that pushed him into the hopeless void he eventually fell into, and I may have been the one that nullified his existence.

The saddest and hardest part to believe when I examine my own actions was that I loved him. I loved him so much that the feeling ate away at whatever humanity I had inside, and the inhuman part of me conflicted with my desire for him.

I never wanted to hurt him…

I never wanted to lose him…

And most importantly, I never wanted to experience what either of those things felt like.

* * *

><p>That's what love did to me. It made me lose track of where I was going and where I was coming from. I lost focus and my mind felt like it was rotting while my insides burned, and something inside of me abhorred that weakness and tried to convince me that I didn't need or want him.<p>

It saw that weakness as a poison, and I think that it might have been the reason I did the things I did.

Maybe if I made a big enough mess in our relationship, it would be easier to sever the ties.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

I couldn't find salvation through his pain because his pain was shielded by something bitter and angry, and I had no idea what it was that made him that way. There was never anything to fear in his eyes. It could all be reasoned out. Somewhere, deep in that robotic mind of his, he had something buried that made everything else seem like it was nothing.

Maybe it _was_ nothing, and as I spent my days trying to figure him out while thinking I knew nothing about him and ignoring the fact that he told me I chose to know nothing when it came to him, I realized that maybe nothing was what I wanted.

Regardless, I chose to stay faithful to him during his absence. I kept his belongings neat while I grew frustrated over the fact that I could find no evidence of him doing anything to sabotage our relationship.

The man was perfect; exemplary. Despite the interested glances at both sexes from time to time, he left no trail of anything other than those glances. He did, however, keep a picture of his wife hidden in a pouch he fastened to the back of the top drawer to his dresser, which annoyed me but I decided there was nothing to fear from the dead. I discovered it when I started to think that if I thought like him I might be able to find something he was hiding from me.

In a way, I did.

It turned out that he and Rufus had been working on the schematics to the President's quarters. I found the blueprints fastened to the bottom of his dresser when I lifted it to see if he had anything hidden there—someone's phone number or photo, perhaps. I was hoping to find evidence of him having some sort of affair.

Unfortunately, all I found was that he and Rufus had a growing interest in the President's habits—where he ate, when he ate, whatever it was that he did routinely…

It made me think of the secrecy they shared, and the hateful way that Rufus acted whenever he was in the presence of his father. It also made me realize that I wasn't interested in whatever it was they were up to. They could kill the President for all I cared at that point. All I wanted was to find something to tarnish Tseng's glowing shine with, and I found nothing.

If there was any evidence that he'd been unfaithful, he hid it well.

Too well, and I sighed as I fastened the toilet back to the floor after carefully removing it. When I noticed how clean the bolts were, I thought he might have used it as a hiding place. Unfortunately, it was only because he asked Reno to fix it when the seal went. He replaced the bolts afterwards and I forgot about it.

During the times I wasn't out on the field saving lives, I dug up every crevice of the apartment. Loose tiles were replaced after I found nothing and I wound up hiring someone to renovate. I also told him to let me know if he found anything.

"Like what?" he naturally asked, and all I said was, "Anything unusual."

He was hesitant about what it was I was expecting him to find, and I let it slide since I was assigned to a new mission and was in a hurry to get going. When I returned a little under a month later, I decided that Tseng would at least be happy with the new kitchen and bathrooms I picked out for him.

I also discovered that nothing unusual was found and was a little disappointed. I was also disappointed that he hadn't returned yet and that I'd heard nothing from neither him nor Genesis.

* * *

><p>When he finally returned a little over three months later, he noticed the kitchen and asked, "Why'd you renovate?"<p>

"You don't like it," I concluded, sounding somewhat sullen over the fact that I was watching a game on the television and the first thing he said when he walked through the door was, "Turn that down."

He never greeted me, and he never said that he was glad to see me or that he missed me. I spent the entire time in his absence dedicated to him and all he could do was tell me to turn down the game and then ask why in the hell I felt it was necessary to change something that never needed changing.

"I never said that," he responded while he removed his coat. "I just asked why you did it—there was nothing wrong with it."

"I suppose you would have liked it if Genesis did it for you."

"Leviathan," he breathed out as he reached for his coat that he just removed and he started putting it back on. "I really hoped you would have cooled down by now."

"Where are you going?" I asked as I stood up and glared at him. "You just got home and now you're leaving? Did you miss him that much?"

"I can't do this anymore," he admitted as he walked to the door and I moved faster than he could have anticipated. Then he looked down at the sword I stabbed into the door to block him and he motioned his hand to it. "You need help, Sephiroth… You're losing your mind."

"The only thing I'm losing is you," I hissed at him, while he backed his face away from mine and quirked his brow before admittedly stating, "Indeed."

The argument that followed made about as much sense as everything else. He stormed into the room to grab his belongs while I put them back in the drawers just as quickly as he took them out and tore his coat off.

All the while, I accused him of doing things he never did. I knew he didn't, and he retaliated by accusing me of doing the things I did, and I could no longer deny it.

"Do you really think you can come out of this on top?" he yelled at me when I pushed him onto the bed and stopped him from getting back up. "If you can find _one_ wrong thing with me, will it make you feel better about everything that's wrong with you?"

"I can find lots of things wrong with you," I angrily growled at him while I pinned him face-down on the bed and ripped the back of his shirt to take it off. The only thing that stopped me was when he bit my wrist, hard enough to draw blood, and when I pulled away, he quickly wiped the blood from his mouth and adjusted his shirt as if I'd shamed or humiliated him.

His actions were reminiscent of panic. At the time, I didn't bother to consider the fact that Tseng didn't bite unless it was his only option. He wasn't a biter. Instead, I chose to focus on the imaginary fact that he was a rabid little tonberry that bit me for no reason. It's what he always did.

"Leviathan…" he panted out while he slid off the opposite side of the bed from me and didn't brush his hair from hanging in his face. "Tell me you weren't going to do what I think you were going to do."

"I can't," I quietly admitted while holding the wound on my wrist while suddenly realizing what it was I did wrong. It felt like he took a chunk of flesh and the only person I could blame was myself when I came to my senses.

Then he did up the button on his pants that I didn't remember undoing, and he picked his belt from the floor that I must have pulled from his waist.

"I am not yours to control," he told me, and I defended myself by numbly stating, "That wasn't my intention."

All the while, I stared at the evidence of my intended actions in a waking state of horror.

_I couldn't have done that…_

"I'm going to walk to my dresser," he calmly said, "and I want you to move out of my way." There was a subtle shake to his voice and his hand when he pointed at it. He kept his attention away from me as if he couldn't stand the sight of me. "I'm going to grab a good shirt and then I'm going to the bathroom to put it on… I'm going to lock the door, and when I come out," he candidly told me while he brushed his hair from his face and looked at me like he couldn't be more disgusted with the image before him, "I want you _gone_."

"Where do you want me to go?" I dumbly asked, and he only shook his head like he couldn't have cared less.

"Go wherever you want, Sephiroth," he finally said when he cautiously opened his drawer as if he didn't trust me and grabbed a good shirt. "Just don't come back until after I'm gone."

"I can't do that," I admitted.

"You need help."

"I'll get it," I told him, "if you promise not to leave."

"Leviathan…" he breathed out. Then he looked at me with a weighted regret and finally said something I don't think he ever intended to say. "Do you know why you're so suspicious of me and Genesis?"

"No."

"Well," he said before he smirked with a strange look in his eyes as he carefully backed into the bathroom and placed his hand on the door as if he were getting ready for something. "It's because you're more intuitive than you thought."

Then he slammed the door shut and quickly locked it while probably hoping it would hold.

"He was a good fuck, Sephiroth," he tauntingly sang from the other side. "He satisfied me in ways you never could."

"I'm going to _kill_ you!"

I could have killed him at that point. I probably would have, but luckily for him, I wound up telling him that he didn't have to leave, "Because I'm leaving _you_!

"That's right," I lowly growled after I violently smashed my hand through the door and pulled my sword out from the other while deciding it was as good a time as any to pay that back-stabbing asshole that called himself my friend a visit. "The apartment's yours…"

* * *

><p>When I arrived at Genesis', I nearly tried to kill him without telling him why, and like usual, he welcomed the challenge and treated it like a fun game while he blocked every blow. The confrontation between me and him was unusual. It made me wonder when and where he learned to act so well. His ignorance to the attack was convincing and when I finally explained it to him, he seemed intrigued at the thought of Tseng saying such a thing.<p>

"A good fuck?" he repeated, seeming amused before he relaxed his stance and stabbed his bejewelled sword into the floor and leaned on it as if he were suddenly mocking me. He looked mildly confused and then he cynically chuckled over the matter, "I had no idea…"

His surprise took me off guard and I wound up sheathing my own sword. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on anymore. I also wasn't sure what he was going to pull next and I decided that caution was my best defence all the sudden, but then he openly played along. I didn't really know what was going through his head at the time, or even why I started to question what was really going on. All I did know was that I left his apartment feeling as confused as he looked while telling him that he was as messed up as Tseng and that they both deserved each other.

There was no use fighting over it anymore. He could have the damned tonberry.

* * *

><p>He made no effort to deny anything. Yet he seemed taken off guard. The best explanation I could come up with was that he wasn't expecting Tseng to confess anything to me, and since Genesis knew no shame, he wasn't sure whether to rejoice or suspect that Tseng was up to something.<p>

That was my interpretation, and when I wound up at Angeal's door to explain what happened and to ask if I could stay at his place until I returned to Junon, he thoughtfully commented, "As long as you don't make it a habit. Unlike the two of you, I actually enjoy my own company."

Then he broadly smiled and stood out of the way to welcome me into his modestly decorated home.

* * *

><p>Things went downhill from there. I wasn't sure if it were possible for that to happen, but I managed to prove that it was. Soldiers were no longer the only winners of my affections. I discovered that I didn't have a 'type' any more, and I discovered the convenience that money could buy. Wall Market became my new playground, and I even decided to try a female or two just to spite Tseng.<p>

I wasn't too crazy about it and found that I had zero attraction to them while wondering how it was possible for Tseng to be married to one.

After that, I decided that one man wasn't enough for me.

It was like an addiction on a road to self-destruction, and not once, did I see the same person—or persons—twice.

I never really looked or wondered where they might be. None of them were Tseng, and that was all that mattered.

Unfortunately, it didn't help. The more I immersed myself in the smorgasbord of faceless one-night stands, the more Tseng dominated my mind. The more I felt sick, and the more I yearned for the ability to turn back the clock to the first time I strayed from the path I thought we were meant to walk together.

Also, to my surprise, Hojo seemed more appalled by my newfound hobby that he completely changed his point of view on the matter.

"What is the matter with you?" he asked while openly wondering if he should just 'put me down' like a rabid animal. "He was the best thing that ever happened to you!"

_Was he?_

_Was he really?_

If that were the case, why did Hojo go through so much trouble to break us apart only to try to patch us back together?

And why did he laugh at me when I told him about Genesis?

"That's impossible!" he said, laughing at a shrill note as he walked away. "There's no way they could have slept together!"

"Why's that?" I suspiciously wondered and he shook his head while giggling at something he wasn't willing to share.

"You forget that he's my patient!"

"Your reluctant patient," I reminded him.

"No matter," he said as he shone his light in my eyes. "I'm the only one that knows his condition. He has no choice but to see me."

"What condition is that?" I asked as I blinked the lingering light away when he turned his penlight off and glared at me.

"Nobody knows his condition like I do!" he snapped. "I know his DNA inside and out!"

Then he laughed again when I narrowed my eyes in suspicion while wondering why no one else could treat Tseng after the mako incident, and why Hojo took it upon himself to take full responsibility over his 'condition.'

"Believe me, Sephiroth," he said, ignoring my curious expression, "If he were sleeping with _anyone_, I would know!"

"Why's that?"

"You ask too many questions!" he suddenly shouted, and then he waved his hands at me like he wanted me to get off his table. "Can't you see I have work to do? I don't have time to partake in these _endless_ interrogations of yours!"

"It was only a question," I said as I stood up and was pushed to the door by the insane man that was everything I had to learn from.

* * *

><p>As usual, I was left with more questions than I started with when I left Hojo's lab. It was getting to the point where I wondered why I was suspicious of any of it any more, and I began to question why I questioned anything at all.<p>

It had no effect though, because it left me with mixed feelings. Part of me felt guilty. What if Hojo was right? Another part of me wondered if it was too late to rectify the mistakes I made. It wasn't like I advertised the abundant affairs I'd been taking part in. Maybe Tseng didn't know what I'd been up to since I walked out on him.

On the other hand, the fact that he and Genesis never denied having an affair they confessed to left me confused. Why would they lie about doing something they weren't, particularly when the outcome carried repercussions? Had I gone so far over the edge that Tseng lied so he could free himself from me? Was it his only solace?

Why did Genesis lie about it too? Was he helping him, despite the damage it had on our friendship? Had things gotten that out of control?

_No…_

It couldn't have been me. There was something going on; something else. I just didn't know what it was, and after stewing over the possibilities into the hours before dawn, I decided I would just go home with no regard to where home was or whom I'd left it to.

I deserved an explanation.

Unfortunately, everything I blamed him for washed away when I quietly entered the apartment and stared at a pile of photos sticking out of a brown envelope on the coffee table. The faint light from outside was dim, but it was bright enough to help me make out the images.

It seemed like time stood still before I finally built up the courage to stare my denial in the face.

At first, I grabbed the envelope and held it so the photos fell onto the table and the floor, and then I stared at them for a moment longer. If I had any thought at that moment, I have no recollection of it. All I could do was stare at pictures of myself, bedding with other men as if I were at a free-for-all buffet.

_No…_

I kept telling myself it wasn't true while I fanned them out and stared at the reality of my actions. There were too many to count; I told myself it was a lie. Someone set me up. Tseng had to know that.

There was no way I could have done what I was doing in those photos. It was a lie. Each one was taken with a date and time-stamped camera. There was no way I could have done all those things with that many people within the duration I did them. Some of them even had the same date.

Most of which, suggested I started it the day after I walked out on Tseng.

_Who did this?_

Not only was I asking who could have taken the pictures, I was also asking who it was that was in them. It couldn't have been me. I was never that out of control.

Worst of all, Tseng must have seen them.

When that thought hit me, I stood up and barely noticed the broken kitchen table as if someone were thrown onto it, even the splinters sticking out of the doorframe and the hole in the wall seemed lacking in importance. The only important thought at that moment was that I had to convince him I was set up. If I were in the right frame of mind instead of focussing on a small pile of everything I denied, I might have noticed that the entire apartment was in disarray.

Knowing what I know now, there was a fight between two individuals. One was Tseng, and the other was the one that brought him the photos.

Tseng didn't want to see them. He knew, but he never wanted to be confronted by the solid reality of it. He never wanted to know _exactly_ how unfaithful I really was, and he sure as hell didn't want to see it. He was happier just guessing and never really knowing.

It made it easier for him to deny that he allowed himself to be as betrayed as he was, but then someone slapped him in the face with an envelope full of proof. Some of the dates on the photos went further back to a time before I walked out on him, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what kind of sick individual would follow me around like that.

As a result, he asked that person to leave. He wanted to be alone.

When he met with resistance, a fight broke out, and when I opened the bedroom door that was partially broken off one of its hinges, something went off inside.

It was like a bomb in my head while something else exploded out of my chest.

Whatever it was, it was uncontrollable and dark, and it took over me in the instance of a flame being snuffed out.

It wanted to see him dead, and just like the speed of lightning, my sword came crashing down with a vibrating clang when it met the resistance of another's.

It was an adorned blade, red and bejewelled, and it was a hair's width from saving Tseng's life. That's how fast he was. His reflexes had always been exceptional. If anyone were to ever surpass me, it would have been him. From a dead sleep to a defensive, lifesaving feat, he came to the rescue, and a part of me wondered if he was expecting me while I glared at him, lying naked in my own bed beside my own lover, half-covered by my own sheets and smiling up at me like he finally achieved something he'd been trying to achieve his entire life.

"You would kill the man to make him pay for your own mistakes?" he quietly asked, challenging and almost mocking me while Tseng stirred and opened his eyes before letting out an unimpressed snort at the sight of our crossed swords over his chest.

Then he muttered out, "Leviathan," and rolled his eyes as if he'd become accustomed to the scenario and was expecting no less. In his eyes, I probably got what he felt I wanted all along. My accusations about him and Genesis had finally come true.


	13. Waking Up Is Never Easy

**Waking Up Is Never Easy**

* * *

><p><em>"The child's face is covered in chemical burns…<em>

_"A substantial amount of mako was taken into the lungs and stomach…_

_"They must have tried to drown him in it…_

_"There are scratches along his jaw, neck, and chest…_

_"Blood and skin were under his nails…_

_"I'm assuming the pain caused him to try to scratch it away when they released him…_

_"That might have been when I heard him screaming in the alley…_

_"I'm not sure…_

0

_"I fear… there is nothing I can do…_

_"He was on his last breath when I found him…_

_"He managed to say that he didn't want me to tell his mother…_

_'Please… don't tell my mother… my mother… please… _

0

_"His mother…_

_"Xvan…_

_"He shut down after that…_

_"She'll be devastated if she loses the boy…_

_"He's the only thing that's given her strength and a reason to live since that tragic day…_

_"The day I lost her…_

_"I can't allow this to happen…_

_"There must be a way…_

0

_"Judging from the DNA taken from the samples, there were at least three boys…_

_"Disgusting…_

_"If there were more, they left no proof…_

_"Other than the fractures and bruises…_

_"Nonetheless, they'll get what's coming to them in due time…_

_"All of them…_

0

_"I am curious to further my research into the affects of waste mako…_

_"Strange, I was never interested in it before…_

_"But it's starting to look promising now that I'm able to see its affects firsthand…_

_"It has similar properties to the tainted Lifestream…_

_"Though it's quite different at the same time…_

_"I wasn't expecting it to hold such properties…_

0

_"First and foremost, I need to figure out how I can rectify this mishap…_

_"The mako he ingested will make it difficult to clone him properly…_

_"It fused with his cells on a molecular level and his tissues are decomposing at a faster rate than normal…_

_"I have no idea what the long-term affect will be…_

_"It will be challenging to cleanse it from the samples I obtained…_

_"No matter… I'll find a way… but I must work quickly…_

0

_"The first attempt to clone the boy failed…_

_"It was a mess…_

_"The cells divided and it has a terrible temper toward things it doesn't understand…_

_"Not only that, it looks like it's missing its upper half_

_"I'll keep the subject for later studies…_

_"Nibelheim should be a good place to keep it…_

0

_"I managed to succeed with the second one by making some adjustments…_

_"Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do to rectify the other problem and I'm running out of time to try again…_

0

_"He saw himself… both the clone and the original…_

_"He awoke before I expected him to and wandered before I realized he was gone…_

_"I found him standing over the corpse as if he were experiencing an emotion akin to horror…_

_"I'm not sure…_

_"I will try to convince him that it was a dream and see what happens…_

_"There's no way for me to know if he knew he was looking at himself until he awakens…_

0

_"It's been three days since I found him…_

_"I've cleaned his clothes and sewn the buttons back on…_

_"I'm unable to make him forget what happened to him and I managed to find out that there was one other boy…_

_"He only watched what the others did, he says…_

_"I fail to see how that makes his actions acceptable…_

_"He won't tell me the boy's name and I am very disappointed…_

0

_"Oh well…_

_"At least I managed to convince him that the corpse and the failed clone were just a nightmare brought on by the mako poisoning …_

_"I've convinced him that he was lucky I found him when I did…_

_"Otherwise, he would have been dead…_

0

_"He never needs to know the truth…_

0

_"I wish I had more time, but he's retained all his memories and appears perfectly matched to the original in every way…_

_"Other than the small mako problem…_

_"No matter…_

_"I've managed to offset it by enhancing other aspects of his DNA…_

_"He'll be stronger and faster… better able to defend himself should the need arise…_

_"If all goes well, I may never need to treat him again… _

_"Wutai's no friend to mako processing, so his chances of coming in contact with it are insignificant at best… _

_"I shall order a crew to take care of the contaminated spills to ensure his safety…_

0

_"It's been four days now…_

_"He's still shaken up, but I believe he'll be fine…_

_"He's showing no signs of degradation…_

_"I am not comfortable letting the subject go this soon…_

_"There is still much to study…_

_"But it's been long enough and Xvan must be devastated by now…_

0

_"She must have her boy back…"_

0

Click.

With a tired sigh, Genesis rubs at his temples and brushes his fingers through his bang. He holds his hair from his face for several seconds as if he's deep in thought. Then he shakes his head and slightly turns to look at the locked door behind him.

It's an old cell door that belongs to the laboratory he took Tseng to. It's on the subterranean level in the bowels of Modeoheim. There are no windows, and no sounds escape from the vents above. The place is bustling with the sounds of old machinery and steam vents that still run. They still feed the pools above. Though no one has come to partake in the luxurious baths ever since the mako tragedy left the town abandoned.

The only people that travel through these parts now are scavengers or lost souls.

The building ruins, broken structures, and steam vents make the place a treacherous hazard to those who don't know their way around.

That may be the reason he chose the place.

Genesis knows the area well, as does Tseng. Though it was never a place either of them favoured, and the last time they were in Modeoheim, Genesis nearly left Tseng for dead. His goals are different now. He no longer hungers for the destruction of Shinra, and I doubt that it's not to do with the fact that they're not around anymore.

Instead, his only goal for the past several years has been to keep Tseng alive. Mostly so that he can use him to keep himself alive, despite that I suspect there are other reasons.

"Well…" he quietly says as he taps his fingers on the small wooden desk he's sitting at. It's worn out, splintering, and grey from age. All that's on top of it is an old dusty lamp and a recorder that appears to still work. "I guess that answers _those_ questions.

"I always suspected there was more to that story…" he breathes out as he turns back to the desk and presses the eject button on the recorder. Then he studies the tape he removed and frowns. He found it hidden in one of the cupboards when he was rummaging through them. He was looking for something to drug Tseng with at the time.

Despite that he found what he was looking for, he could barely refrain from listening to it. We all knew what Hojo was like. He left his files scattered and hidden, and finding them was like finding pieces to many of his unknown puzzles. They were small treasures.

This, however, I doubt Genesis was expecting when he inserted it into the recorder and hit the play button.

I think part of him expected to hear something irrelevant—something uninteresting—but the moment he heard Xvan's name, he hit the rewind button and listened to it again. Xvan was Tseng's mother. We all learned that when we lost our minds and started rummaging through what we could find of Hojo's records. He was madly in love with her at one time, and the obsession never ended. She was the only thing in Hojo's life that brought out the small remnants of sanity he possessed.

Though, at times, it seemed like her presence on his mind only fed his insanity more—like cloning her only son to save her from the heartache of losing him, for one…

Among many other incidences that Tseng always seemed to be the unknown victim of—all in the name of his mother…

All for Hojo's skewed vision of his love for her.

"Hmph…" Genesis snorts as he lets out a heavy sigh and stands. Then he tosses the tape into a metal can and uses a fire spell on it to ensure that it's never heard or seen again. "No wonder he has so many issues… For once, Hojo may have been right… Better that he never knows."

He stays and inspects the remains in the can when the fire dies out, mostly to ensure that the tape was properly destroyed. When he's satisfied, he unlocks the cell door and walks over to where Tseng is lying on the blankets he put out for him.

"Poor dog…" Genesis muses as he takes the cap off the needle he pulls from his pocket and plunges it into a vial he grabbed from his other pocket. "The more I learn about you, the more I pity you."

Then he kneels down and gently brushes Tseng's hair from his face while muttering, "You've been a dog all your life, it seems…"

When Tseng stirs after he injects the needle into his arm, Genesis hushes him and smiles as Tseng slurs out, "What're… you… doing… to me…?"

"It's okay," he consoles as he helps him sit up. "You've been under a lot of stress lately… this will help you relax." Then he helps Tseng stand and he supports him by holding his arm around his waist while telling him that, "I have a treat for you… come with me… "

"You don't… know… the meaning… of treat…"

Despite Tseng's weak protest and Genesis' coy smile that goes unseen, he allows Genesis to guide him from the room. From there, Genesis takes him down a short hall and up two flights of crumbling concrete stairs. The place smells of old earth and Tseng manages to partially comment on it before he giggles about it. I assume the latter is from whatever Genesis drugged him with.

In turn, Genesis smiles back and steadies Tseng when he misses the last step and stumbles.

"Careful," Genesis warns. "These steps are old and fragile."

Then he stops at the top and stares at Tseng for a moment like he has a passing thought that he doesn't want to voice, and he quickly nods before he guides Tseng down another old hall that's partially lit by the daylight outside. The windows are too dirty to see through, and Genesis has taken care not to turn any of the lights on.

A few days earlier, he tested them and discovered that the electricity still works in many of the old buildings he's been exploring. Yet, he's made no effort to use it. Instead, he smiles as the sound of swirling water grows louder and Tseng suddenly stops as if he's suddenly realizing where he is.

"Modeoheim?" He asks, sounding like he has a little more control over his voice all the sudden, and Genesis smiles again, very subtly.

"The cabin was cold and we had no electricity," Genesis starts as he guides Tseng into the next room. It's filled with old baths that still run, despite the sludge that floats on the water's surface. There is one, however, that Genesis took the time to clean and test, and he carefully guides Tseng to it and stops at the edge.

"It was difficult to make a good meal, and keeping you warm was often a challenge."

Then he takes a look around at the other pools like he has a plan in mind, and he tells Tseng to kneel by the edge and put his hand in the water so that he can test it.

"Is it to your liking?" he asks as he quietly removes his coat and drops it to the floor he'd cleaned the day before. Then he carefully helps Tseng stand and he starts to undo the buttons on the man's shirt. "It's been a long time for you…"

"What… did you… drug me… with…?" Tseng weakly breathes out as he clumsily brushes Genesis' hand away when he attempts to help him remove his shirt. Genesis only shrugs and decides to remove his own shirt while calmly stating that, "I am not your enemy."

Then he notes through the corner of his eye that Tseng clumsily sits on the floor and continues to remove his own shirt.

"I never… said… that…"

"Perhaps not," Genesis notes while Tseng pulls off his dirty socks and pulls his torn pant legs up so that he can put his feet in the water. Both of them knows it was something that never needed to be said. They'd been mortal enemies ever since the day their relationship ended. As a result, it left them both silent on the matter.

Once Genesis removes his clothes, he carefully steps into the bath. The water is pumped from the hot springs high in the mountains and the temperature is often inconsistent as a result. Though, today, it seems acceptable, and Genesis moves to stand in front of Tseng and he stares at him.

Only a blind stare welcomes him back, and he twists the corner of his mouth before he finally confesses that, "It's a relaxant…

"That's what I injected you with.

After your little outburst in the cave, I'm afraid of what I might do if you grow out of control again…

"This is best for both of us."

Tseng's sarcastic snort is ignored and Genesis dares to place his hands on Tseng's hips to pull him closer to the edge of the water. "You forget," he starts, "that you are not the only one who suffers. I too, can lose control."

Genesis falls silent when Tseng leans forward, cups his face with his palms, and nods. Then he tilts his head and quietly confesses that, "I haven't… forgotten…"

After that, Genesis' eyes darken and he backs away and Tseng carefully removes the rest of his clothes while staying modest. Then he gets into the bath and Genesis moves to the opposite side to give Tseng his space.

For several minutes, they sit in the bath in silence. Tseng subtly sinks farther while keeping his knees slightly bent and his hands over his private parts to keep himself from being exposed. The water is just under his chin and the ends of his hair floats on the surface of the moving water. He remains still and deep in thought as if he's relishing in the memories of what it last felt like to be enveloped in such a comforting warmth.

Genesis stays at the other end and his arms are outstretched. He sits more freely and relaxed than Tseng as the tip of his long earring dances on the swirling surface and catches the light at different angles. He stares at Tseng as if he's staring through him. His green eyes never leave Tseng, and his smile remains coy and subtle as if something is mildly amusing him.

* * *

><p>For the longest time, I forgot who I was. I denied who I was. I lost track and began to wonder what it was about Tseng's presence that brought out my sporadic behaviour.<p>

I was focussed in his absence until I lived with him for almost two years. After that, I no longer needed him around to help me lose my head. He made me dizzy and unfocused, and when he wasn't around, it felt like I was withdrawing from a powerful drug and I wasn't able to handle it.

It took me several months to come to that realization.

After my initial outburst and my attempt to kill him, I realized something. Tseng was right. I'd lost my mind. If Genesis hadn't stopped me that night, Tseng would have been dead. I would have been responsible for that death, and I realized that I wasn't prepared for that. It was what Genesis said that finally woke me up.

They were my sins he would have been paying for.

It didn't sink in that night. Instead, Genesis and I had a go at it while Tseng quickly dressed himself and left the apartment. He was mumbling something in distaste before he started grumbling in Wutian about something I suspected was about us. I'm not sure what the neighbours thought, but I'm sure they had a fair idea that something was going on between Genesis and me when they saw Tseng fastening his coat as he left.

Later, I discovered that it wasn't us he was grumbling about. It was himself that he was cursing for allowing us into his life. He even considered that he never should have left Wutai in the first place.

* * *

><p>Once things settled down, I finally realized that I had no choice but to accept the choices he made and that I had to let him go. It didn't matter whether I liked it, and I finally realized that he was right. There was something wrong with me and I needed help.<p>

So, I took it upon myself to seek Hojo's advice and he recommended someone he felt was capable of helping me get back on track.

He took me off guard when he agreed that I had a problem. He surprised me even more when he recommended that I speak to someone other than him because as far as he was concerned, I never listened to him in the first place.

At first, I didn't know what to make of it. I wasn't sure if it was because he was on everyone else's side but mine or if it was simply because he admitted that I was flawed. Usually, Hojo's way of dealing with flaws was to point the finger at everyone else while overstating his superiority over them. He often did the same with me as well.

It was always everyone else.

They were the ones with the problems.

In a way, I guess I learned more from him than I realized about how I shouldn't behave. When I thought about it, I realized that I was doing the same thing.

He left me believing that I made a mistake and that I needed to rectify it, and to ensure that he was the type of person he always was and will be, he decided that it was a good thing that Tseng was out of my life again.

"You're better off alone," he told me. "You're not the type of person that needs anyone in your life."

It was strange that he never referred to Tseng as the malevolent menace he used to accuse him of being, and perhaps it was stranger that he suddenly didn't think I was better off with him once I decided to give up on everyone else.

"Alone is better…" he assured me as he nodded to reassure himself and he walked away while mumbling, "You'll see…

"You'll be back to your old self in no time…"

* * *

><p>I think he was partially right.<p>

I needed to be alone to straighten myself out and it was working. My focus was coming back and the strange dizzy feeling had almost disappeared all together. I wrote it off as me not being ready for a relationship. Maybe I was emotionally immature or something.

Regardless, I still thought about Tseng. I still burned inside over the thought of Genesis and him together, and sometimes, when I would lie in bed at night, I would place my hand on his side of the bed and imagine him near me.

I was so sure I could free him and protect him at one time.

Instead, all I did was imprison him and hurt him, and there was nothing I could do to undo that.

When that realization would hit me, I would turn onto my back, place my hands behind my head, and I would stare at the ceiling until my eyes grew too heavy to keep open.

That was the path I paved for myself. It was my own doing that brought me to that empty place inside, and all I could do was accept it.

* * *

><p>Months later, the Turks came to the Junon base to investigate some missing soldiers and I wound up sitting impatiently on a bench until my name was called. I never questioned which Turks had come and I chose to keep myself busy until they left.<p>

It didn't work out that way though.

It turned out that I was among the Soldiers being questioned. At the time, I had no idea what it was about and I cautiously handed my sword over to a large Turk I'd never seen before. He was dark-skinned and bald. His ears were covered in piercings, and I curiously regarded him when he took my sword and looked at it like he was questioning the necessity of its length.

As an explanation, he told me that, "There are no weapons beyond this point," and I shrugged as I watched him put it down after I told him to, "be careful with that."

Then he told me that I could have it back when I was done.

I didn't doubt that, I just didn't want him mishandling my sword, and when he opened the door and I stepped into the room, I caught myself suddenly snorting as if I were told a bad joke.

In a way, I suppose it was inevitable that we would cross paths again. I guess I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. So, I stood there and stared at him while he sorted through his papers and then looked up at me with a dead look in those eyes that used to hold so much warmth.

"Have a seat, Sephiroth," he said, and he motioned his hand to the chair in front of the desk. His voice sounded clinical. It was neither cold nor warm and I suddenly felt like we were strangers meeting for the first time.

I supposed that was how it was to be then, and I decided to keep as cool as him when I stepped forward and took the seat. Then I silently stared at him while he finished preparing his papers. He looked washed out and dull. His hair lacked its usual lustre and his skin seemed almost pasty, like he'd worn himself out or something.

In a way, it might have been strange that I chose to focus on the fact that I hadn't seen him for months and chose to say, "You look good."

As a result, he slowly looked up at me like he was a lifeless doll before he moved his eyes to the recorder on his desk and then back at me like he was irritated about something.

"I thought I told you to quit talking to me like that," he said. Then he let out a sigh and I realized what he was saying.

He needed a story regarding the reason we were no longer 'friends', and I slowly nodded at him as if to say, 'I get it.' My best guess was that he said I started harassing him and that he wasn't interested in me that way, and I later found that my guess was fairly accurate.

"Anyway," he suddenly said, "I hear you're seeing a therapist."

"I am," I admitted.

"Good for you," he said as he straightened out his cuffs and tapped on his file. "I'm glad that you've finally come to terms with your… addiction."

"What is this about?" I asked, unable to hide the annoyance in my tone and he cleared his throat while looking at me like he was looking through me.

"First," he said, "I want to make it clear that I did not ask for this assignment.

"Unfortunately, I opened my mouth when I noticed a peculiarity in several of the missing people we've been investigating and it led us here where we noticed a relation between the citizens and the soldiers that went missing in action not too long ago."

"Okay," I said as I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive way, "and what is the peculiarity?"

For a moment, he hesitated and his eyes focussed on me like daggers. Then he let out a heavy sigh and opened his folder.

There were several photos of missing citizens and soldiers, and he pushed them toward me while coldly asking, "Do any of these people look familiar?"

"No," I honestly said as I sat forward and looked at them, and for a moment, I thought he was going to lunge at me like I did or said something wrong.

Instead, he snorted and sat back while adjusting his tie as if he were irritated by my response. "None of them do?"

"Should they?"

"Leviathan… Sephiroth," he grumbled as he pushed the photos closer to me as if to suggest I should take a closer look and he moved his chair back from his desk like being near me disgusted him, "these are all people you've slept with…"

Then he shook his head in disbelief and sat back so that he could study my expression while dryly asking, "Not one of them looks familiar?"

Sadly, none of them did. I never really looked at any of them. I understood where his disbelief was coming from since I had plenty of time to go over my mistakes. Yet none of it helped. When I shrugged to confirm that I also had no excuse for my lack of memory, he quickly glanced at his recorder like he wanted to turn it off so he could candidly say whatever was on his mind before he covered his face with his hands and rubbed at his eyes as if to wake himself from a bad dream.

"I'm sorry," I admitted, to much more than my answer to the interrogation, and he quirked his brow as if to say that he heard me and would consider the apology; nothing more.

After a slight pause, I finally asked if I was a suspect and all he said was that they were only investigating it at that point.

He asked some more questions and I answered. Both of us seemed to relax more and when it was done and he turned the recorder off, he walked to the door to open it for me. Then he stopped before he opened it and candidly told me that, "No one suspects you, Sephiroth…

"We simply need to gather as much information as we can about the case."

"And you couldn't say that with the recorder on?" I asked while noting that he wasn't looking at me while he was talking to me.

"I'm not allowed to discuss the case with you."

"So…" I started while taking a step back before I asked, "Why are you telling me then?"

"I just…" he said as his fingers tightened on the door handle, "wanted to set your mind at ease."

Then he quickly nodded and opened the door. Again, he refused to look at me, and he waved his hand to the hall while thanking me for my cooperation.

* * *

><p>That night I played the scenario over in my head. He was more civil than I expected him to be. More accurately, he was more civil to me than I deserved, and I knew that. I also couldn't get his appearance out of my mind. I'd never seen him look so haggard and it affected me.<p>

He was never the type to complain or let others know when something was wrong with him. He was stubborn and often refused medical aid when he needed it. As a result, I couldn't help but concern myself with the possibility that he hadn't seen anyone and that something serious might be wrong.

It was Genesis' problem though. I kept telling myself that it wasn't my business. It was Genesis' responsibility to take care of him. Only, after seeing him that day, I couldn't help but feel that Genesis wasn't.

* * *

><p>Maybe that was what led me to his hotel room that night. I'm sure there were other reasons, but it was his appearance that ate away at me the most. All I wanted was to make sure that he was okay, and maybe happy. Then I would leave.<p>

That was all.

After I knocked on his door and he opened it. He regarded me with exhausted eyes and mumbled in a tired voice that, "I'm not supposed to be talking to you." He said it like I should have known the investigation forbade it, and I quickly said why I'd come.

"I just wanted to make sure you're all right."

"I'm not sure why you'd care," he said. "Considering that you tried to kill me." Then he was about to close the door and he heard the elevator stop at the end of the hall and quickly pulled me into his room to hide me.

At least he hadn't changed in that regard. He was still sneaky, and he still hid things from the rest of the world. Though I know he did it more because he would have gotten into trouble that time, and I suddenly found myself curious over the sudden strength he exhibited when he pulled me in.

He nearly lifted me from the ground, and that was about all the consideration I gave to that thought.

The next few minutes were more awkward than I anticipated. I wound up asking him how things were going with Genesis and he took me by surprise by scoffing at the notion like he wondered why I'd care. I couldn't help but feel guilty over the question all the sudden, and I tried to set his mind at ease.

It was over. I let him go, and it was okay.

Neither of us needed to hide anything from each other any more.

"Don't waste your breath," he stated as he sat on the edge of his bed. "We both know the only reason you're asking is because you're selfish."

Then he rubbed at his eyes and yawned while saying that, "Besides, I'm not so sure that I can refer to it as a relationship."

After that, he shook his head and mumbled out, "I don't have any feelings for him."

"I'm confused," I admitted, and he snorted while rolling his eyes like he wasn't surprised and explained that, "I didn't sleep with him because I was in love with him."

"Oh," I said. Admittedly, I couldn't think of anything else to say while I stood there and looked down at him and he subtly smiled like he expected no less.

I suppose our reactions shouldn't have been surprising. We'd known each other long enough, and he let out a heavy sigh before reluctantly explaining the rest of his side of the story.

He did it because he was angry. Then he explained the rest of what happened while I quietly listened. He explained what the fight was about and that Genesis had attacked him without any warning.

"Most of it's a blur…" he said. "I didn't really know what we were fighting about, and when he threw me into the kitchen and I landed on the table—that's how it broke, by the way—I couldn't move.

"I don't think he meant to hurt me…

"Well, you know what he's like…" he said as he tiredly waved his hand and got up to fill a glass with water while continuing. "I understood why I was angry… don't get me wrong…"

Then he took a large gulp as if he were parched and continued with his story. "I just didn't understand what I did or said to set him off and I defended myself as best as I could."

After a few more gulps of water to finish what was in his glass, he finally elaborated what his version of the story was.

"Anyway, when he realized I couldn't move, he panicked and used his restore materia. He stayed with me to make sure I was all right and he kept apologizing…

"He said he didn't mean to hurt me but I frustrated him so much…

"He said that he couldn't understand what I saw in you or why I defended you and that I deserved better, or something or other…"

"He was right," I admitted while I watched him wipe the sweat from his upper lip and sarcastically smile like he agreed. All the while, I hid my concern over his sudden thirst. It wasn't hot in the room, and he was moving and acting as if he were overheating. Beads of sweat were running from his temple and he seemed lethargic.

"Yeah," he said as he tiredly sat down and dropped his glass while paying it no mind. Then he mumbled out, "The next thing I knew… he was… kissing me… and I… didn't… fight it…

"I just…" he breathed out before he let out a weak burp and fell backwards onto the bed, "wanted to get back at you…"

"Tseng?" I asked as I stepped forward and looked down at him.

As much as I appreciated his candidness, something was definitely not right and I quickly stepped to the side of the bed and gently tapped his face with my fingers while asking, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm just… tired…" he mumbled. He was barely audible and hot to the touch while I tried to sit him up and asked, "When was the last time you saw a doctor?"

"The night after I slept with Genesis," he answered. His eyes were closed and he fell toward my shoulder, "Something isn't right… He took me to Hollander… I don't… think… that man… knows… what he's doing…"

Unfortunately, Tseng was right. Though neither of us knew it at the time, and I wound up hanging onto him to keep him upright while saying that I recalled Hojo being in Junon and Tseng scoffed at me while tiredly grumbling that Hojo was the last man alive that he'd go to again, and then he added that he didn't think Hojo knew what he was doing either.

Part of me considered it, and part of me shrugged it off while I tried to come up with a plan to get Tseng to Hojo without attracting any attention. At the same time, I wondered why it always seemed like Hojo was in the same area as Tseng most of the time and then I brushed it off as coincidence.

* * *

><p>"Come on," I said to him as I pulled him up with me when I stood and he grumbled that he wasn't going anywhere with me. Then he clumsily pushed himself away from me and said that he didn't need my help, or Hojo's for that matter.<p>

Regardless, I managed to get him out of the room and down to the lobby under continuous protest while working out what I'd say if anyone questioned us.

"I ran into him and he needed my help…"

That's what I said to more than one person, and it's what I said when I pushed open Hojo's door and chose to ignore his initial protest to the fact that, "Doesn't anyone in this town know how to knock?

"I can't work with these kinds of rude_… interruptions_!"

Then he stopped and meekly said, "Oh… It's you…" while he held his clipboard close to his chest as if he were clinging to it and Tseng suddenly bolted past him so he could throw up into the man's garbage pail.

After that, Hojo's look of surprise suddenly turned to one of suspicion. He started asking me what I was doing with Tseng.

Oh great stars… We couldn't be back together again.

No…

But wait… Maybe it was for the better…

That was the basic interpretation of what he was rambling on about when he patted Tseng's back with a look of concern and peered over his shoulder to look at the greenish contents spilling into his garbage. At the same time, he rambled on about how he couldn't understand why in the hell Tseng would take me back after everything I put him through.

"You don't deserve a second chance after what you did!"

Somehow, the man that was going to ruin my life was suddenly too good for me and Genesis had become the new devil.

"How could you let this happen?" he asked Tseng with a look of bewilderment while Tseng pushed him away and grumbled in between hurls that we were 'not' back together.

Then Hojo turned his attention back to me as if Tseng's protest was too much for him to bear. "You drove him into the arms of a man that is no better than you!" He told me. He figured it was something that I needed to hear, but to make sure I was aware of everything that was going on, he simply had to ask, "Did you even _know_ that the two of them were together?"

Of course I did, but the details were none of his business and I motioned toward Tseng who'd finally come up for air while pointing out what I thought was an obvious reason for us to be there.

"Oh yes…" Hojo said while nodding and attempting to walk Tseng away from the garbage while asking me, "What's wrong with him?"

"If I knew that, we wouldn't be here," I responded while Tseng gripped his gut and doubled over. His knees hit the floor with a painful sounding thud and I cringed while Hojo told me to stay where I was and claimed he was fine. He didn't need my useless help.

"This better not have anything to do with Hollander's incompetence!" He said as he scraped a sample of Tseng's vomit from his garbage and sneered while closely studying it. "That man has done nothing but make a mess of my work!"

Then he smeared the vomit onto a small piece of glass while Tseng remained on the floor and looked as if he were in excruciating pain.

The next scenario went by like a blur. To this day, I'm not sure what happened or if I remember it correctly. I recall Hojo leaning over Tseng and checking his forehead. He mentioned something about a fever. It was something about Mako over-multiplying again, or something like that.

Then out of nowhere, his back hit the wall when he went flying into it and Tseng spat something out like, "Get your _disgusting_ hands off of me!"

At that point, I wasn't sure which one of them I should have helped. Hojo was like a father to me and seemed a little helpless all the sudden, and Tseng…

Well, I still loved him, regardless of what I was suddenly witnessing while Tseng insisted that, "I remember you!

"I remember what you did!"

When Tseng grabbed onto the counter to help himself stand, the counter's surface crumbled under his touch as if it were clay and a strange trail of something resembling ice crystals trailed out over the surface where his hand was and from where his feet touched the floor. It had a greenish hue and a subtle crackling sound as it slowly spread outward.

Instinctively, I stepped back and placed my hand on the hilt of my sword while Hojo nervously laughed and adjusted his glasses while steadying himself and digging around in his pocket with the other hand.

"Oh dear…" he mumbled. Then he blew some dream powder toward Tseng and it appeared to hit an invisible shield before it slowly danced to the floor.

After that, he mumbled something about how he hated it when that happened and then he quickly looked around while nervously giggling again.

In the meantime, Tseng started accusing him of things I was unfamiliar with and Hojo started opening and closing the drawers he was standing near as if he were anxious about finding something.

"You're delusional!" he told Tseng while waving his hand in a dismissive way toward him after he was accused of doing something to him when he was younger. "Clearly, you have me confused with a lunatic!"

Then he turned his attention to me and told me not to just stand there and, "Do something!"

I didn't know what though. Tseng didn't seem himself while accusing him that, "You did this to me!" and Hojo was frantically looking for something by this point. All I did was dumbly stand by with my hand still on the hilt of my sword while trying to figure out what in the hell was going on.

Somewhere along the lines I was accused of this being my fault by Hojo and that if I wasn't so obsessed with that damned Turk that none of this would have happened. It was all my doing. Everything was under control until I had to stick my…

Regardless, I put something where it didn't belong, I supposed.

The next thing I knew, Hojo was ripping one of my materia from my sword, and then I could have sworn that he purposefully blew the entire remains of his dream powder into my face. He roughly pushed me backwards after that and I lost my balance while being overwhelmed by a sudden dizziness.

I was so tired, all the sudden…

So tired…

At the time, I had no idea what was going on or why. All I knew was that the man I loved was accusing the man that raised me of making some kind of monster out of him called a ying/yang, or something or other. It was in the basement of the mansion in Nibelheim. Hojo retaliated by pointing out that it was odd for Tseng's 'fictitious' monster to be in Nibelheim if Tseng was in Wutai when all of this supposedly happened.

There was some kind of zombie Turk hiding down there too—One that had been missing for over 20 years. He saw it. It wasn't a dream and he knew the other monster was from Wutai. It was there when he was a child. Hojo used him to make it and he must have moved it to Nibelheim.

Hojo's response was, "That's preposterous! Are you even listening to yourself?"

My response was nothing but a loud thump when I hit the floor when trying to fight off the effects of the dream powder while Hojo yelled out, "Sleepel!" from the materia he took from me. He yelled it several times until Tseng finally hit the floor as well.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I recalled Tseng attacking Hojo at the time.

I think… something wasn't right.

* * *

><p>Sometimes, I wonder if I always knew that everything was a lie. I think I purposefully chose to deny that which I didn't want to face simply because I didn't know how to deal with it.<p>

I could deal with the tangible. I had a reputation and many admirers by that time. The man that the public knew was far from the man that I was. They saw me as perfect and I fed from it when I was in their presence.

The truth was that I was far from perfect.

From the first time I could remember, I felt like I was on a path to enlightenment, but the trials and obstacles I had to face were too difficult at times and I chose to run away from them.

Sometimes, I even felt as though I were meant to experience the things I experienced due to some lesson I was supposed to learn. Even the things I did. They were all part of some grand plan. It was a testament of my strength, maybe.

Tseng had accused me of being too black and white at times. I was narrow-minded, and he was right to a degree. What he didn't know was that I was only what I appeared to be. There were things happening to me that I didn't want to discuss or admit to.

I even hid them from myself.

I wasn't blind. I just chose to close my eyes.

I knew that the changes I went through and was going through weren't normal. I always knew, and I always knew that something was off with Tseng. I just chose to ignore it. It was easier to ignore.

Maybe, it was even less frightening.

I blindly accepted Hojo's unfinished and nonsensical stories and excuses because it was easier to face than the mysteries I dealt with on an everyday basis. The shining image that everyone else saw was shadowed when I saw it in the mirror. I wasn't me.

My personal life was supposed to be normal. It was supposed to be like everyone else's. So, I kept my silence and hid the truth from everyone, including myself. I even went so far as to help Hojo hide it whether I was aware of it or not. At the time, all that mattered was that I believed I could be what I wanted to be.

At least, that was what I wanted.

It was true. When I look back, there were so many times that I could have been more determined at getting the answers I sought. There were so many truths I could have learned. There were so many times that I simply walked away because a part of me didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know the truth.

I also didn't want to admit to the parts I hid from others. I had my own secrets. For example, maybe, I should have told someone about the voice I kept hearing in my head.

It was a woman's voice. It was often musical and more prominent when I was around Tseng. I knew it was the culprit for my dizziness and I chose to ignore it while lying about it at the same time. What it often told me and demanded of me was something that went against every moral I believed in.

I might have also admitted to the strange urges I had. I wanted to hurt people for no reason. The ones I loved, I wanted to hurt even more.

I wanted everyone around me to suffer.

Yet there was never any reason for it.

Maybe I had too much pride, but a part of me was afraid to admit that I might have been less than perfect, constantly fighting for my own control, or even crazy. That might have also been why I behaved the way I did with Tseng when we were together.

I needed to protect him from me so I drove him away.

I wanted to hurt him too much.

Either way, some of it was coming to surface when I regained consciousness and turned my head to see Tseng lying in what looked like a vessel full of liquid nearby. It was a metal tube with windows and it reminded me of the rejuvenation or stasis chambers used for various reasons. Only, this one was horizontal and different in a way I couldn't explain.

There was some kind of machine attached to it and it seemed like there were tubes everywhere. They ran through holes in the chamber and appeared that they were pulling a strange coloured liquid from Tseng and replacing it with something that resembled blood.

I'd never seen anything like it before and when I dizzily sat up, I noted that Tseng's appearance reminded me of death. He was all I focussed on and I groggily swung my legs to the floor before I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me.

It almost appeared that he weren't breathing, and I failed to notice Hojo sitting in a chair nearby. He never made a sound while he sternly observed us and rested his index and middle fingers against his temple. He looked like he was exhausted and it wasn't until I went to get up that he quietly told me in a reluctant way that, "I suppose there are some things I should probably tell you…"


	14. Deceitful Truths

**Deceitful Truths**

* * *

><p>It's been several weeks since Genesis brought Tseng to Modeoheim, and he's taken the time to turn the facility into a home. I suspect he chose a location between the connecting labs of the subterranean levels and the baths above to keep Tseng hidden from whatever it is they're running from, yet easily accessible to everything at the same time.<p>

In an attempt to make the place more comfortable and ambient, he added curtains to windows that don't exist. He also went through the trouble to pillage the surrounding homes for working appliances, furniture, and whatever else he felt they might need. The homes have been abandoned for decades, but he still manages to find the best quality items, and he tells Tseng he does it for him.

None of it makes sense though. Tseng still can't see the effort Genesis put into the place, and if he could see, he'd probably make no effort to appreciate it. Genesis seems to know that as well, but something is driving him to do the strange things he's doing. He goes to great lengths to pamper Tseng, and Tseng warily sits by as if he's waiting for Genesis to explode the second he lets his guard down.

It doesn't help that Genesis has kept Tseng drugged since they arrived either. He tells him that he does it to protect him from the changes he's going through, and he constantly justifies it by reminding him that, "You remember what happened in the cave, don't you? You nearly lost yourself… these sedatives will help keep you under control."

However, Tseng often argues that, "I've had sedatives before… I think I would know if that's what you were giving me."

"Oh…? There must be _something_ familiar about it," Genesis will often argue back without ever elaborating further.

He keeps the rest secret.

During the days, he locks Tseng in the observation lab and he goes on lengthy excursions. He feels the lab is large enough to make Tseng feel less confined and less inclined to escape. I can only guess that he feels it's the best way to keep Tseng out of his way while he sets parameters and frequently patrols the area. When Tseng is clear-headed enough to question him about his lengthy disappearances, he tells him he was getting food or something else they might have needed that day.

Nothing has changed as far as their resentment toward one another goes. Genesis still resents Tseng's stubbornness and insensitive notions that border on cruelty and accusations that are never fully elaborated on, and Tseng behaves as though he still doesn't trust Genesis, even though Genesis hasn't reacted to Tseng's notions in a while.

He hasn't struck him or attacked him since they arrived in Modeoheim.

There's something else neither of them have ever elaborated on as well, and it runs deeper and feeds into their animosity between one another. It's something I've always sensed between them and they've kept their secret well. Though, I have my suspicions since it started after Tseng decided to use Genesis as a tool to release his anger and resentment toward my own selfish actions, and it seems to have grown since Genesis told Tseng that Vincent was dead.

I know Tseng loved Vincent, and I know he felt guilty for it. He still does. That is how I know he blames himself for what happened to a man he insists was more innocent than the miscreants in Avalanche. He believes Vincent would have been better off had they never met.

Whether any of it has a reason for why Tseng continues to try to escape is uncertain. I'm not sure where he thinks he's going or how he'll get there. I'm not even sure if he knows. Given the rate at what he appears to have given up on, he could be on nothing more than a path to self-destruction.

Regardless, he's at it again.

He awoke to find himself alone and he decided to break out of the lab through creative means. Sometimes, I'm not so sure that he's entirely himself anymore. Those strange tendrils that appear like broken wings from his back seem to have a mind of their own, and at times, I can't help but wonder if they act as his aides.

They seem as if they're looking and feeling around the surroundings at times, almost like they're studying it. When they do this, Tseng stays still as if he's absorbing the information they appear to be feeding him, and sometimes, it almost appears that he's silently communicating with whatever it is that's been making its presence known more frequently.

There are times when he even seems unaware of it while responding to it at the same time. Though, this time, I'm not so sure it's the case as one of them focuses on the tools he needs and he grabs them as if he has no trouble seeing them at all. At the same time, another one appears to be focussing on the door as if it's watching for Genesis while the other six feel around as if they're exploring.

When he collects the tools he needs, he smirks and mutters to himself in a wry tone that, "He told me to learn to control it, didn't he?"

Then he does what he does best, he uses his surroundings, tools, and the vents to unlock the door and he decides to brave the maze of halls, stairs, and tunnels by himself.

Genesis had guided him to the baths enough times for him to know the way, and the rest is left to cater to Tseng's natural drive for exploration. Though, part of me thinks he knows where he is. There's something familiar enough about the place for him to have a vague idea that the last time he was here was when he and two young soldiers survived a helicopter crash at the base of the mountains outside of Modeoheim.

He just needs to remember how to guide himself through the mazes he once navigated when he could see where he was going.

To be safe, he crawls for the most part, collecting dust on his knees and feeling the floor to avoid the parts that have fallen away from age and neglect. Despite the slivers, he presses his hands to the floor and exerts his weight before moving forward so he can listen for creaks that suggest the floor might give way, and he adjusts his course accordingly.

He grows more confident the further he explores, and when he thinks he knows where he is, he stands and moves his hand toward the wall, not realizing he's about to grab onto an active steam-pipe.

"Ahhh!" he hisses as he instinctively grabs his fresh wound with his other hand as if to protect himself from the throbbing burn and he stumbles backward without thinking.

As a result, his foot goes through a weak floorboard and the fresh splinters dig into his ankle, tearing into his flesh and causing him to grunt as he falls.

Instinctively, he tries to do two things at once. He attempts to protect his burned hand by holding it close to his chest, and he tries to stop himself from falling by attempting to move quickly through the tangled mess at his feet. It does him no good though.

As he hits the floor, there's another loud crash and the floor gives way beneath his weight. He lets out a startled shriek from surprise, seconds before his back impacts with the floor below, which also gives way.

When he hits the concrete floor below that one, he struggles to regain the wind that was knocked out of him while covering his face to protect himself from the following debris that's threatening to bury him.

After it's settled, he's barely visible until his strange tentacles push themselves up from the debris and aim at the holes above as if they're curiously studying it. Then they turn their attention to him and move as if they're studying their host that's buried under dusts, moulds and dead wood, and Tseng weakly laughs as if he can see what they see, or maybe he just knows what they see.

In his eyes, I think he thinks he's finally done. He's about to die, and he gives in and sardonically laughs at the irony.

"Seph…" he breathes out, half choking for air in the process. "Or maybe Vince…"

Then his tone breaks up as he hoarsely breathes out, "Will I see either of you in the afterlife…?"

_Probably not_, I'm thinking, because the sudden disappearance of the tendrils suggest that something is coming, and the sound of rushed footsteps above suggest that Genesis has no intention of letting him go just yet.

* * *

><p>Hojo sat in his chair and stared at me like he resented me for far too long, and I dumbly stared back. I don't recall how I felt or what I thought. All I knew was that I knew nothing at all, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to change that.<p>

My expression must have been as empty as I felt as I turned my attention back to the vessel Tseng was sealed in. I suppose I could have felt a number of different things—anger, confusion, deceit—but all I felt was nothing, or maybe it was just discernible.

It might have had to do with the fact that I hadn't fully recovered from the overdose of dream powder that was thrown in my face for no known reason, or maybe it simply had to do with the fact that the anger in Hojo's eyes was enough to make up for the anger I should have been feeling toward the possible deception I was suddenly facing.

Hojo never let me fall from his sight during that time. His glare was accusatory, like he was blaming me for something I was responsible for but had no knowledge of, and that was when he finally enlightened me.

"None of this would have happened if you just stayed away from him in the first place," he told me as he slowly stood from his chair and continued to glare at me. "I tried to warn you."

"Warn me about what?" I asked, noting how numb my voice sounded as he walked over to the vessel and stared down at Tseng as if he were fascinated and disgusted at the same time. I remembered all of his warnings. I just didn't recall him ever giving me a reason that was substantial enough for me to take him seriously.

"That's right…" he grumbled as he placed his hands over the glass and lightly caressed it with his finger tips while the light from inside strangely danced over his sharp features and made him appear sickly. "You never listen… You're just like your mother."

"You said…" I slowly started, allowing the suspicion to come out in my voice, "That you never knew my mother."

For a moment, Hojo's fingers stiffened over the glass and he softly smiled. Then he snorted and dismissively waved his hand at me while turning his back and muttering, "All women are the same… You'd have known that if you weren't defective."

No insult was taken since the comment was ordinary and repetitive for him. It was his way of saying I'd let him down in some way. Though, the reason never had anything to do with it. He kept that part to himself, and as I approached closer in reluctance, I began to realize that I was afraid of what I might see if I looked closer at Tseng.

As a result, I diverted my attention to the monitors and noticed there were flat lines on all of them.

"They're broken," Hojo detachedly said as he turned back to face me and noticed where my attention was, and then he answered my question before I had the chance to ask by explaining that, "I leave them on for entertainment."

It was a dry comment, and I remained silent about my doubts. Hojo worked for Shinra and had no tolerance for equipment that didn't work properly. His demands were often outrageous, but Shinra never hesitated to give him what he wanted.

Consequently, It made no sense why he'd be using equipment that didn't work, but the explanation sounded better than what the truth might have been. So, I refrained from asking something I probably didn't want to know the answer to.

It didn't matter though, before I had the opportunity to give it any further thought, Hojo decided to remind me that it was me that brought Tseng to him after the mako incident in Nibelheim. That was how it was my fault.

"Surely…" Hojo started as he clinically stared at me with his hands clasped in front of him, "You must have known there was no hope."

"I don't…" I reluctantly said as he snorted in derision and placed his hands in his pocket, "Understand."

"Yes, you do."

Then he casually walked around the vessel and made his way to a counter against the wall. The room was dimly lit and he hovered in the shadows with his back to me while time felt like it stood still. After he was done doing whatever it was he was doing, he let out a heavy sigh, and out of nowhere, he quickly turned and smashed a flask full of liquid at my feet while yelling, "YOU KNEW DAMNED WELL WHAT YOU WERE ASKING ME TO DO WHEN YOU BROUGHT HIM TO ME!"

His face had reddened and the liquid that spilled from the flask seemed alive as it moved in a way that suggested it was struggling to stay that way.

"Of course, I couldn't clone him," he calmly said as he waved his hand about. He was insanely calm, considering his previous action, "You can only do that once without repercussions, and even then, it's risky business. The risks outweigh the benefits!"

"Only once?" I asked, not sure if I wanted an answer, but as luck would have it, he ignored me anyway.

"Far too often, there's a price that is never worth its weight!"

His tone and behaviour seemed more erratic than it normally was. It was more extreme, and he almost appeared excited as he practically danced back to the vessel Tseng was lying in and stared into it as if he were suddenly mesmerized.

"He's beautiful. Isn't he?" he asked while stroking the glass like he were petting it, and then he turned his attention to me as if he were expecting me to agree. "Everything that he is… he is a sight to behold."

"I… guess…" I said, unsure of where his fascination with Tseng suddenly came from. He appeared almost taken as he continued to lightly pet his hand over the glass and I felt my insides knotting up.

I suspected I was finally going to get an answer to a question I'd been asking since the beginning, and I was suddenly realizing that I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"He has my DNA, you know…" he quietly said while keeping his attention on Tseng as if he weren't really talking to me. "Just a small amount. I injected it into him when he was a child."

Then he smashed his hand against the glass in a sudden fit of anger and shrieked, "HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! but noooo…" he sang out. "Instead… Instead! That… _animal_ took them both away from me!

"He damaged my fiancé and impregnated her with this…" he said as he angrily shook his finger at the vessel, "This… _monstrosity!_

"I had to do it!" he said as he lightly placed his palm on the glass and shook his head as if he were disagreeing with his own words and trying to justify them at the same time. "If I didn't, I would have been left with _nothing_!"

Then he laughed. It was disturbing in its insanity, and Hojo continued to go on about how the woman he loved refused to marry him because of what happened.

He said she was too ashamed to face him after what was done to her and his life was destroyed.

"Women are fickle, Sephiroth! _Never_ give your heart to them or they'll tear it into shreds while you watch…! They're _beasts!_"

Then he angrily pointed at Tseng as if he were emphasizing his point when he said,_ "This_ is why I keep telling you to stay away from her!"

"Him…" I reluctantly corrected in a questioning way, and I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth.

It wasn't because it upset him. It was more because it appeared to send him in a different direction. Somehow, the world was going to get what it deserved and I was going to help make it happen. He didn't say how or why. Though, at the time, I doubted everything he was saying and I found myself shrinking back.

Then he finally elaborated on how I messed up his plans. Though, none of it made sense, since all he said was that Tseng was never supposed to be a part of it, and now he was. It never should have happened that way.

"Sure… that _bastard_ has no _right_ to exist!" he said as he furiously pointed at him again and I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat, but it was too late to turn the clock back.

What happened is what happened. We could only look forward, and what Hojo did was brilliant.

He was able to save Tseng's mother by saving her son. He said he killed him so that he could be reborn. Unfortunately, it was a working process, "But I wouldn't have had to do that if it wasn't for _you_!"

That part, he never elaborated on. What he did tell me was that he had to create a partnership between Tseng and some kind of creature that would keep him alive. It was symbiotic, but experimental at best.

The truth needed to stay hidden or all hell would break loose.

Most of what he said made no sense since he was all over the place.

About the only thing that did make sense was when he told me that Tseng could never know about what 'we'd' done to him. It would shatter him. The mako in his system caused such an unpredictable reaction that it was the only way to save him.

Obviously, there were holes in his story, but I accepted what he said in the end, and I agreed to keep it a secret. I even went so far as to agree to help him keep it a secret. It was all I could do when the monitors suddenly started flashing and he rushed over to the vessel to release the fluid that Tseng was immersed in.

It was then, that I realized there was very little I could trust, and it was then, that I realized his monitors were never broken.

They were working just fine.

* * *

><p>By the time I helped Tseng to his room, my head was swimming and I was feeling ill. Hojo told me that most of what Tseng said about monsters and his past was brought on by the fever. It was a symptom of the mako overproducing in his system and I needed to help him fight it off.<p>

"He trusts you more than he trusts me," Hojo told me.

He never needed to explain why and I never asked. As unsure as I was about everything that night, I was slowly piecing it together on my own.

The only other thing I was completely sure of was that Hojo had done something that would destroy Tseng if he ever found out about it, and that was the only reason I agreed to help him, and I took Tseng to his room and ran a cool bath for him while he sat on the toilet like he were in a trance.

According to Hojo, Tseng was still feverish from the mako and I needed to keep him cool and clean the saline from his skin.

"Call it a dual-purpose bath, if you will," Hojo said. "Normally, I'd do it myself, but I'm certain you will get more out of it."

It was a snide comment, but I agreed to do it anyway. The cool water would help stabilize his temperature, and there was no denying that Tseng was hot to the touch. At the same time, I could help him wash away the strange scent of the solution from the vessel that was left on him.

It would also give me the opportunity to make him a cup of tea so that I could sneak in the 'medicine' Hojo gave to me for him. Hojo told me it was crucial that he took it and he place a package in my hand while nervously snickering.

At first, I tried the honest way and told Tseng to take it while offering it to him while I ran his bath. His response was childish at best, and he smacked it out of my hand while weakly mumbling, "I'm not taking anything that madman gave to you."

Despite that I finally thought I was beginning to understand Tseng's feelings regarding Hojo, it allowed me to justify my next course of action, and I asked Tseng if he'd be all right on his own for a few minutes while I prepared some tea for him.

He thought about it for a few minutes as he blankly stared at the faucet, and then he closed his eyes and slurred out, "That would be nice…"

What I did next, made me feel more deceitful than I felt when I was having random affairs, but I did it anyway. I prepared his tea and poured the liquid from the small bottle Hojo gave to me into it. Then I stirred it until I was comfortable that it was thoroughly mixed and I set it aside and returned to the bathroom to find he'd fallen asleep.

"Tseng…" I softly said while kneeling down and gently nudging him to wake him up. "Don't fall asleep."

At first, he clumsily pushed me away as if I were irritating him for the sake of it. Then he smiled and opened his eyes before dreamily looking at me, and his expression saddened and he turned away.

I assumed it was like Hojo said it would be.

He told me Tseng's fever would interfere in his ability to think straight.

_"But once you give him this medication… he'll stabilize in no time!"_

To be honest, I was reluctant to find out if it were true. Out of everything Hojo told me, the only thing that stuck in my head was the fact that I was the one that brought Tseng to him in Nibelheim the night of the explosion. He accused me of knowing what I was asking for, and part of me couldn't stop choking on the notion.

It was my fault.

He was right. I did know what I was asking for. I just didn't realize exactly what it was I was asking for.

"Are you done?" I finally asked when Tseng showed signs of wanting to get out and he nodded. So, I reluctantly nodded back and I grabbed a towel for him while hooking my arm around his waist so that I could help him stand.

Then I helped dry him off and I grabbed a courtesy robe from the hook on the inside of the door and helped him put it on. After that, he pushed me away as if I'd insulted his dignity somehow.

"These things are so unflattering," he mumbled while suddenly grinning as if he were drunk. After that, he stumbled a little while lifting the bottom to reveal himself and snickered about it.

I did my best to ignore it and I carefully coaxed him to let go of the robe and told him that he wouldn't be doing that under normal circumstances.

"Why's that?"

"You hate me," I reminded him as I helped him to his bed while lowering my head and apologetically adding, "rightfully so."

"No…" he tiredly breathed out, "I just… should have known better."

Then he giggled and I offered him his tea. I figured it was best not to respond to his comment, and I sat at the foot of his bed while wondering which one of us was more damaged.

I knew how he felt about the monstrosities we uncovered on a daily basis. I knew how ill it made him feel inside. It was almost like it hit home, and now, it _was_ home.

I was responsible for turning him into what he feared most and I couldn't look at him because of it. I was selfish, and to add salt to the wound, I also had to lie to him about it.

"This tea doesn't taste right… What kind is it?" he asked as he swirled it in his cup and widened his eyes to clear them out so he could see it better, and a lump rose in my throat before I bitterly said that, "Your taste-buds are probably off… Just finish it."

Again, I didn't look at him. I chose to study a patch of the beige carpet that looked as though a stain were recently removed, and then a ringing in my ears started when I saw him shrug and take another sip from his cup through the corner of my eye.

I almost wanted to smack the cup out of his hand, but he saved me from that urge when he grumbled that he wasn't in the mood for it any more and he set it down on the nightstand beside him.

_"It is 'imperative' that he takes that medication, Sephiroth! Remember what happened the last time you ignored me?"_

I did. Hojo lied to me and said it was an evolved limit that I witnessed. He never mentioned anything about Tseng having a monster inside of him, or him turning into one either. At that point, symbiotic meant next to nothing.

When Tseng decided to get up to rinse out his cup, he stumbled and I automatically stood to catch him. It was also my way to see how much was left in his cup and I quickly took it from his hand while quickly glancing into it. There was a sip or two at best and I frowned at the fact that I had no idea if that was acceptable or if he was supposed to drink every last drop.

I figured it was good enough though, and I sat it on the end table while explaining, "I can take care of that for you… You should get some rest."

"Mmmm…" he mumbled into my chest, sounding like he was agreeing.

Then he suddenly flung himself onto the bed and pulled me down with him.

"What are you doing?"

"Keep it down," he half slurred and giggled as he slid his hand downward and bit on my earlobe while mumbling, "let's fuck."

"Fuck," I repeated. It wasn't Tseng's normal choice of words.

"Yes…" he airily whispered, "Isn't that what you call it…? A mindless… fuck?"

"That's not what it was with you," I defended as I quickly pushed myself up and stared down at him. "It never was."

"Mmmnnn…" he mumbled almost curling his tongue in his mouth while squirming under me. His eyes were flashing with a strange glint, almost silvery and he appeared to be struggling with something before his eyes went back to their usual deep brown and he went completely limp and focused his attention on the wall while quietly saying, "Do you know what it is that I hate about you the most?"

"No."

Then he sarcastically smiled and rolled his eyes for emphasis while admitting that, "It's the fact that I don't hate you at all."

"It's too late for regrets," I reminded him. Though it didn't change the fact that I had more than I cared to admit to, and I grunted when he grasped his hands into the leather straps across my chest and yanked me so close that our noses bumped together.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he admitted, almost sounding like he was talking through his teeth. "Every time I think I'm free of you, I see your name, a picture, a file, and then _you_… You're _everywhere… _

"And every time I think of you… I think of how much I…

"I just want to _smack_ you."

"There's not enough room between us," I told him. In a way, he was making me uncomfortable. Being that close and feeling his breath and the feathery sweeping of his fingers against my chest made me dizzy.

I had no idea what he wanted. Part of me suspected that he wanted something intimate. It didn't matter whom it was with, and another part of me assumed I was the last person he ever wanted to be intimate with again.

Hojo warned me he would be unstable for a while. He warned me to be careful with him. He told me that the thing inside of him had unknown capabilities that made it unpredictable, and that the mako was confusing them both.

_"I made a miscalculation," _Hojo admitted. He said that Tseng had a less than average tolerance to mako. He never said why and I was too overwhelmed to ask. He thought that this creature, or whatever it was that he put in Tseng would correct his condition.

Apparently, the creature was impervious to it. It could even create and manipulate it.

Hojo thought it was the perfect combination, but there was another issue that was somehow my fault, and again, he didn't elaborate on it and I brushed it off as his usual disdain toward my 'defect,' as he often put it.

What was done was done. I couldn't change it, and I peered into Tseng's glazed eyes and found myself being drawn in. Maybe it had something to do with him suddenly confessing that he'd never been with anyone as gentle as me, but I wasn't sure.

"I was afraid of men," he admitted, and his fingers continued to lightly dance over my chest while his sleepy eyes slowly closed and opened.

I didn't understand what he was saying until he explained it. His first lover was so rough with him that he would hurt for days. He never told the man though, mostly because he was afraid that he wouldn't love him back if he knew.

"Of course, it's probably because my first time was…" he started before he looked away and wryly muttered, "Less than pleasant."

Then he took a deep breath and slowly let it out before telling me that his first lover took him to Midgar and abandoned him. When he confronted him in front of his friends, the man beat him in front of them and called him a fag.

"He was a Turk…" he told me. Though, I think I might have already known that. "He was also married, and I guess… he didn't want anyone to know he was a sick pervert who liked young boys and I almost exposed him."

He said he would have decided to stay away from men all together if it weren't for his next lover that was the extreme opposite of the others.

"He was so sweet and passive," he told me. "He knew I had issues and he never pushed…"

"What happened to him?" I asked, suspecting the direction he was going in wasn't a good one, and he told me that his lover was diagnosed with a terminal illness and he died in his arms.

"He was so beautiful, Seph," he sadly told me, "and I was such an ass."

By the time Tseng met him, his views had already become jaded, and according to him, he felt he could have treated his lover better.

After that, he decided that he was done.

"That's when I met Marina…" he told me, and I fought the chills that ran down my spine when his lips brushed against the corner of my mouth as he spoke. He met her on the shores at Port Junon. He was studying medicine at the time and she was injured by something in the water.

He tended to her and they started seeing each other on a regular basis, and eventually, he felt he could put his past behind him and he asked her to marry him.

"I never knew that," I admitted as my thumbs lightly stroked the hair at his temples. I assumed he tried to tell me pieces of his story before, but I would never let him finish. I was too insensitive and I always cut him off by acting like he was overreacting, and I partially regretted that he'd probably forget that I was there to listen to him that time around.

"Then I met you," he said, and he brushed his nose against mine while closing his eyes. "You were so…"

For a moment, he paused as if he were searching for the right words, and he pressed his hands more firmly against my chest as if he were struggling with the desire to push me away.

"Persistent," he said. Then his eyes flickered when he brushed his lips against mine. After that, he repeated it for emphasis, "Persistent," and then he smiled and pushed his groin against mine. "I was so scared of you at first… You were everything I wanted to get away from, but… nothing ever felt so right."

"What about Genesis?" I dumbly asked, succumbing to whatever it was I was succumbing to. I had already started placing small kisses along his jaw, relishing in the feel of his body so close to mine, and I was suddenly regretting the lack of forethought into my question.

"Leviathan…" he breathed out and pushed me back while whining as he covered his face with his hands, "What have I done…?"

Then he sat up and grumbled that, "The two of you make me feel so _stupid_."

With a deep sigh, he grabbed his tea and decided to finish it in one gulp, and I quietly sighed in relief while he sarcastically muttered, "I sure know how to pick em."

Then he rinsed the cup in the bathroom sink while telling me that he felt like he was stuck in the middle from the beginning. "I feel like a prize that the two of you are constantly competing over."

"That's not true," I told him as I rubbed at my temple. The stress of the night was starting to get to me, I assumed, and I was starting to feel dizzy again.

"You don't think I'm worth fighting for?" he asked as if he were suddenly annoyed as he leaned against the doorframe and quirked his brow at me like he was expecting an answer, and I winced.

"What?" I asked. Then I shook my head and said, "No… That's not what I meant."

I meant that he wasn't an object and I told him so. I even went so far as to tell him that he was worth dying for. In fact, I would have killed for him.

Hell, I wanted to kill _him_ just so that no one else could have him. Though, I left that part out.

Anything he wanted, it was his. As proof, I went so far as to bring up the fact that I was seeing a psychologist and practising celibacy because of him. I admitted that I wasn't expecting to get him back over it, but he was the reason I wanted to be a better man.

He completed me. He was perfect for me. It felt like we were made for each other, and as all that went through my head because I stopped talking in fear of saying too much, he stared down at me with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

His hair just reached his shoulders and he had a strange and subtle grin playing on his lips. Then he thoughtfully asked, "What happened to us?"

"I don't know," I admitted.

I had my theories. Most of them were correct, and he sat down beside me while asking if it was his reluctance that drove me to stray.

I admitted that I didn't know, and we sat there in silence for several minutes as we both stared at the floor and wondered where we went wrong.

It was a vicious circle. I pushed him and he tried to push me away. The more he pushed, the more I pushed back, and so on…

It got to the point where neither of us knew what we wanted or didn't want anymore, and when I started straying, he started suspecting. When he started suspecting, I started accusing, and we self-destructed.

"It's hard to kiss a man when he has cock on his breath," he finally breathed out, and I felt stunned.

"So…" I started as I thought about it and continued to look at the floor, "That's where I went wrong…"

"No…" he tiredly said. Then he snickered and wryly said, "Though, mouthwash would have been a nice gesture. Perhaps it would have suggested that you cared enough to hide it."

For some reason, we both snickered at the truth of it. It wasn't a hearty snicker, but it felt like something heavy had been lifted, and we both scooted closer.

He leaned his head on my shoulder and I placed my hand around his waist, and neither of us said another word.

* * *

><p>We must have fallen asleep at some point. I don't recall when. All I remember is that he asked me to stay when I thought it would be best if I left, and when I awoke, we were lying on top of the covers together. He was still wearing his robe and I had my arm around his waist. His back was pressed against me and I almost kissed him on the neck before I realized he was awake and I thought twice about it.<p>

I had no idea how long he'd been staring at the wall, but I assumed it was a good sign that he didn't wake me up and kick me out when he realized I was sleeping next to him, which was half what I was expecting to happen when I agreed to stay.

I knew he was deep in thought, and I decided to leave him be. It seemed like an easier way to deal with my imaginary fears over what might have been going through his head, and I slowly got out of bed in an attempt not to disturb him.

"I'm impressed," he muttered as I grabbed the sheath for my sword so I could put it back on.

"With what?" I asked, and he snickered.

"You had every opportunity to take advantage of me last night," he said, and then he yawned and sat up while keeping his back to me. "Yet you didn't."

"You give me too much credit," I told him as I spotted my coat and slipped my arm through the sleeve.

"The old Sephiroth wouldn't have hesitated," he said. Then he snickered as he reached for his watch and mumbled to himself that, "Perhaps you really have changed."

Then he tossed his watch back on the night stand, stood, and stretched while I rolled my shoulders to adjust the fit of my coat.

I was tempted to say that nothing has changed. My feelings were the same, but I decided against it when I considered it probably wouldn't have the affect I desired. He was notorious for twisting everything I said around, and I wasn't entirely sure if it was something I should have said anyway. So, I stared at him for an awkward moment and then decided to take my leave.

"So, that's it then," he muttered as I reached the door and he shook his head before warning me that, "you can't leave."

"I thought that was my line," I admitted, realizing how many times I'd said it to him in the past. Then I turned to see him shaking his head at me, and he explained, "No. I meant you can't go out that door." Then he grabbed his pants and slipped his leg in. "If someone sees you, I'm going to wind up having to explain more than I care to."

After that, he quirked his brow and did his pants up while telling me, "In case you've forgotten, I'm not supposed to be associating with you until after the investigation."

"What about last night?" I reminded him. "People saw me taking you to Hojo and back again."

For a moment, he looked confused and I inwardly panicked that I said something wrong by reminding him of the mistakes I made the night before. Then he quickly nodded and reached for his dress shirt while admitting that, "Your excuses were acceptable."

He was unreadable for the next few seconds, and I assumed he was working out something in his head as he did his buttons up and stared at the floor.

"But I'm not sure how believable they would be if any of those people saw you leaving my room in the morning." Then he snickered and quirked his brow as he wryly muttered. "After all, I'm sure I'd have my doubts about your story if I realized you'd spent the night with someone you were only 'helping' out, given your reputation."

"Nothing happened," I reminded him, and he nodded in agreement as he grabbed his tie and hung it around the back of his neck.

"According to _us_ nothing happened. But you know rumours are more appealing than truths, and the fact that we were roommates and we're both a little too old to be having sleep-overs… well…" he snorted out with a roll to his eyes for emphasis.

"I get it," I admitted in hopes that he'd stop explaining it to me like I was a moron and I asked him, "how do you suggest I leave then?"

"I have no idea," he admitted. Then he was silent.

He stared at the floor and the empty space between us as if he were trying to come up with a plan as fast as he could. Then he clicked his tongue and quirked his brow as if the answer had been obvious all along.

"Joining rooms," he said, and he shook his finger at me like I should have come to the same conclusion.

Instead, I blankly stared at him while he nodded to himself and spiritedly walked over to his bag to dig around for something.

In the meantime, I tried to decide whether this was one of his traits that I loved or hated, and I stared at the door that led to the joining room and contemplated whether I should voice my concerns.

Part of me wondered if the room was occupied, and part of me wondered if Tseng wondered the same thing. If he did, he appeared as though he didn't care, and if I pointed it out, he'd react by accusing me of thinking he was an idiot.

It was times like that that led me to the conclusion there was no point in saying anything at all, and I quietly watched him pull a small case from his bag with a self-assured smile.

Then he cockily walked to the door and tossed the case in his hand and caught it. He motioned at me to stand against the wall and I complied while letting out an unimpressed sigh, despite that I decided to humour him while he pressed his ear to the door.

I don't know how long he needed to assure himself there was no one in the next room, but it seemed excessive to me. I decided that this was going to be one of those moments where Tseng wasted unnecessary time over nothing, and I inwardly grumbled to myself while crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned my back against the wall and relaxed.

There was no sense in saying anything at that point. I learned that from past experiences with him. Interrupting him or pointing out the fallacy of his plans was like trying to pull the needles out of a cactuar with bare hands.

So, I let out a heavy yawn and risked an annoyed glance for my effort as if he understood what was going through my mind without me having to say anything at all.

"You don't have to be so dramatic," he quietly grumbled as he lightly tapped on the door to see if anyone would respond, and I merely looked at him in a bored manner while he pointed out that, "If you're that bored, you could always help."

"You seem to be doing fine on your own," I quietly responded, suddenly feeling like we were on a mission together, with the covert way he was acting over something that didn't need to be as complicated as he was making it.

Tseng was the only person I knew that was capable of complicating something as simple as leaving a hotel room, and when he was satisfied there was no one in the other room, he opened his case and knelt down so that he could pick the lock. In turn, I decided to sit on the floor and stare at him while silently wondering when and where he learned to pick locks, and he answered as if he could hear my thoughts, "Reno taught me."

"It's breaking and entering," I responded, leaving out the part that I wasn't surprised by the explanation.

"Sometimes, a little finesse is preferable than charging into a room and slaughtering everything in sight."

"Justify it however you want," I responded, wondering why either of us would have to barge in and slaughter everything in an empty room when the main door was perfectly accessible.

It wasn't that I didn't get what he was implying. I understood it was his way of elevating his status above that of a 'dumb soldier,' and it still annoyed me after all those years.

From what I've learned of the Turks during my time in Soldier, their nobility and 'finesse' was nothing but a cover for what appeared to be a growing web of underhanded dealings and cover-ups.

Part of me wondered if it was always like that. It was possible I never noticed until I shared my life with one of them, but as time went on, everything the Turks did seemed more questionable than I imagined it could be.

I still liked him though, and I quietly watched him drop one of his tools as if he were flustered over something.

Then he let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes before he quietly mumbled, "I said some things I regret saying last night."

"I assumed as much," I answered, and he nodded and rubbed at his upper lip before picking his tool from the ground.

Not once, did he look at me, and he jammed his tool back into the lock and confessed that, "I wasn't myself last night."

"I'm aware of that," I responded, and I decided not to elaborate on exactly how much more aware of it I was than he probably was. For all he knew, he had a fever and I took him to Hojo and brought him back to his room afterward.

If he knew more than that, he wasn't letting me know.

"Leviathan," he angrily muttered, "you always do that."

"Do what?"

"_That!_" he hissed as he motioned to me and I wondered what it was that I suddenly did wrong to elicit his sudden change in mood.

Then he shook his head at me and sat back on his heels while studying me.

"Would it _kill_ you to say more than two words in response to everything I say?"

"It was more than two," I responded, realizing that I probably would have been better off if I'd kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't good at conversation. I knew that. I also knew that it annoyed the hell out of him, but it wasn't the reason I did it, and we both simply stared at each other for the next little while as if we were mentally battling out the facts, and he suddenly shook his head as if to clear it out.

"Despite what I said last night, the one thing I _don't _miss is the one-sided conversations we never shared."

"I don't know what you're saying," I admitted.

"I'm saying that every time I try to talk to you, I feel like I'm having a conversation with myself."

"I don't know what that means."

"Leviathan," he grumbled. "You're doing it right now."

"Doing what?"

"_That!_" he said as he pointed at me in frustration. "_That's_ what you do. You always do it. I try to say something, and you cut it short by making it seem like you don't have the time of day to listen to what I have to say or that you think I'm talking gibberish to you."

"That's not what I'm doing," I admitted, before I finally broke down and asked, "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing you don't want to say," he grumbled as he fidgeted more roughly with the lock and cut himself on his tools.

Rather than say he wasn't making any sense, I quietly watched him place his cut finger in his mouth. Then I let out a heavy sigh and clenched my jaw. I already knew there was nothing I could say that would come across the way I intended. He'd misread it or turn it around no matter how well thought out or planned my words were, and I rubbed at my eyes before returning my attention to Tseng.

"What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly calming down and showing a slight concern over the fact that I might have looked overwhelmed.

"I had a long night," I grumbled.

The answer seemed satisfactory and Tseng nodded before he returned to the lock. There was a slight scepticism in his eyes, but I wasn't sure if I was just imagining it. Then out of nowhere, he muttered as he focused on the lock that, "I don't like your eyes."

"What?"

"Your eyes… I've never liked them," he casually said and he smiled to himself when he was rewarded with a faint click from the lock.

Then I stood and stared down at him in disbelief. Despite that I had no idea where his comment came from, the only question I could come up with was, "Why did you tell me it didn't bother you then?"

"I felt sorry for you at the time," he dismissively said. "So, I lied." Then he opened the door and motioned his hand to the other room as my queue to leave. "Since I don't see the reason to humour you anymore, I figured I'd tell you the truth."

All I could do was continue to stare at him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with a response. I wasn't sure if he was just saying it because he wanted to erase everything he said the night before by acting like a big enough jerk to make me want to forget, or if he'd been harbouring some kind of twisted distaste for me from the beginning and decided to finally confess to it.

"How thoughtful of you," I grumbled, and he shrugged and turned his head to the other room to express that he was unaffected by my tone.

It wasn't enough though. I couldn't let him have this moment, and like a child, I fell for the bait he was laying out. "Well, since we're on the topic of the things we hate about each other, I could never stand the way you coin your attitude. You're like… one of those little… fluffy things—all cute and cuddly looking—"

For the record, I realized what I was saying made no sense as I was saying it, but I'd already put my foot in my mouth and it was too late to take it back. It was also one of the reasons I usually kept my mouth shut. Words never came out the way I planned. I had a point though, and I wasn't going to let Tseng's quirked brow and mocking stare deter me.

"And the moment you hold your hand out to feed it. It snaps your fingers off with its thankless teeth."

"That's the most you've ever said to me," he commented. Then he quirked his brow again and sucked in his breath before he wryly added, "I think it explains why you generally keep your mouth shut."

After that, he placed his hand on his forehead and started laughing.

"Leviathan… What the hell did Hojo do to you when you were a child?" He perplexedly asked. "Did he lock you in a room by yourself until you were old enough to entertain him with your inferior intellect?"

"Nice," I growled out. "For someone that hates him so much, you sure as hell go out of your way to act like him at times."

"Don't compare me to that madman."

"Oh?" I asked. "You made the comparison on your own. No one told you to mimic his crass attitude."

"To think I wanted to have sex with you last night," he muttered, suddenly trying to understand why he wanted to do such a thing.

"What was that?" I asked, suddenly feeling fired up. "Is that the best you can come up with—changing the subject?"

"Leviathan…" he muttered. "Why do you always want to fight?"

"Because you have a twisted need to always start one," I grumbled as I stepped closer and defiantly stared at him, and he did something unexpected.

He flinched and took a moment to think about his answer, and then he admitted that, "I only do that so that you can move on."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't want you to like me, Sephiroth. We don't make sense."

"That's because you're scared of commitments," I told him, and he looked into the next room and stared into space as if he were partially agreeing with me.

There was more though, and what he said next, came out reluctantly.

"I'm more afraid of you than I am of commitments, I think."

"I would never hurt you."

"Sometimes," he hesitantly started, "I'm not so sure about that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, and he returned his attention to me and stared at my eyes like he was wondering whether he should answer or not.

"It's your eyes, Sephiroth."

"I get that part. You explained it clearly enough."

"No," he said and he slowly shook his head while studying me. "It's the way they change when you're angry."

"How do they change?"

"They go dark. When you're angry, you turn into someone else, and you look like you want to kill… Actually, you look like you want to do more than kill and it's disturbing."

"I…" wasn't sure what it was I wanted to stay and I found myself speechless all the sudden. Then I finally blurted out, "Stop making me angry then," and I stepped into the other room without looking at him.

I was about to leave, but I stopped when he quietly muttered that, "You scare me."

At that, I stopped. For a moment, I stared into space, and then I slowly turned around and commented that, "I was under the impression that nothing scared you."

"You know that's a lie," he said, and then he leaned against the door frame and stared at the door handle.

"That night… When you accused me of having an affair with Genesis—"

"Which was true."

"No," he argued. "At the time, it wasn't. You may find that hard to believe because you need a way to justify what you did," he started, before he clenched his jaw and quirked his brow before continuing. "You were acting crazy and I said the only thing I could think of to make you stop, and I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth. When I closed that bathroom door and locked it, I literally thought it was the last thing I was ever going to do. I fell prone in fear that your _damned_ sword was going to come through and slice me in half. _That's_ how _frightening_ you get."

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

I never realized it until he said it, but it was true. I had a dark side that was out of control at times. I just never realized how bad it was until he pointed it out, and it made me think, and I had to ask, "If you believe I'm capable of killing you, why do you think I have nothing to do with the disappearances you're investigating?"

"I need to believe you're innocent," he admitted. Then he let out a deep breath. "As much as you scare me, I have to believe that you could have killed me and didn't. You wanted to. I could see it in your eyes… but you didn't. Plus, you were on missions when most of it happened. I checked. It's physically impossible for you to be involved. I just… need some time, Sephiroth. Regardless of what both of us did to each other, I can't change the way I feel about you."

After that, he let out a heavy sigh and regretfully looked at me.

"I'm leaving for Wutai this evening. Another Turk is going to take over the investigation and you'll be questioned again. It's mostly to get an idea of who the victims were, and I… just can't be around you."

"I don't understand why you were here in the first place," I admitted.

"I told you why. I lived with you and know you well… Plus, I suspect my actions are also being examined."

"Why?"

"There are a lot of reasons for the President to be suspicious of me lately, particularly with the rise in Wutian terrorism and Rufus' growing hostility toward his father, to name a few. Regardless, my work here was preliminary. I was sent in to gather a list of witnesses and suspects."

"And you put me on that list," I assumed, and he nodded.

"My job is all I have," he told me as he slowly closed the door and admitted that, "I can't afford to give them any more reasons to be suspicious of me right now."

I had to admit that I wasn't sure why anyone would be suspicious of him, and I stood there and stared at the closed door and wondered how much more complicated things could possibly get with Tseng.

* * *

><p>When I finally pulled myself together, I made my way to the elevator. All the while, I tried to make sense out of what the hell Tseng was trying to tell me, if anything at all. There was nothing unusual about his behaviour, other than the things he did and said the night before, and I tried to brush it off as best as I could.<p>

He was confused. I understood that much. I was also aware that I was the reason for his confusion and I didn't want to push it any further than I already did, and when the elevator made it to the lobby, I stepped out and paused when I saw Hojo standing in the shadows.

He was staring at me like he'd been watching and waiting for some time, and I decided it was best to ignore him. He was the last person I wanted to deal with at that point, but he followed me anyway, and when I made it to the main door, my pace quickened.

Unfortunately, he didn't take the hint, and with each quickened step that I took, he seemed to adjust his own speed with a determination that put me on edge.

"You spent the night with him," he quietly said when he finally caught up and I turned the corner to walk down the alley.

"It was what you wanted," I told him. I said it like I wasn't talking to anyone in particular and I quickened my pace without turning to look at him.

"Did he tell you anything about their investigation?" he asked, and it set me on edge for no known reason. "Is there a suspect?"

"No," I answered, suddenly wondering why he was asking me about the investigation, but before I had the opportunity to give it further thought, he changed the topic and I assumed it was just Hojo being Hojo.

"I realize how overwhelmed you might be."

"Really?" I sarcastically asked.

"Yes… However, I'm relieved to see the two of you back together."

"We're not back together."

"I beg to differ," He said as he kept up and adjusted his glasses. "Now that you know the extent of what you're responsible for, I don't see how you can abandon him. You owe it to him to—"

"I am _not _responsible for what _you_ did," I told him as I unexpectedly spun around and grabbed him by the throat, slamming him against the wall of the building so hard that particles and dust settled on his shoulders. I was angry enough to strangle him, but the glint in his eyes was enough to stop me. He looked at me like I did exactly what he expected of me, and he smiled in an unsettling way when he saw the hesitation in my eyes.

Then he snickered and brushed a stray hair from his cheek while I kept him pinned to the wall by his neck as if I were frozen. "You and I both know you would have brought him to me even if you knew what was going to happen ahead of time. The only way this never would have happened is if you didn't _sleep_ with him in the first place."

"I don't see how that has anything to do with anything."

"Hehehe… The cells don't like being separated. Once the process starts, I'm afraid there is no stopping it."

"What are you talking about?"

"It will become clear in due time," he assured me, and for the first time, I noticed how cold his eyes were and how chilling his grin was, and I let go while realizing that, "You're insane."

"Insanity is a label for people that are too brilliant to understand," he said as I stepped back. "Not to mention that name-calling is a sign of a low intellect."

"I don't need this," I concluded, and I walked away while he snickered at me and commented that, "You have no idea how relieved I am to have you on my side, Sephiroth."

* * *

><p>I needed air. I was starting to feel dizzy and suffocated by everything I was presented with, and I wound up wandering aimlessly through the streets of Junon for the better part of the day. The man that raised me and took care of me turned out to be someone I never knew, even though part of me knew that was a lie. That might have been what was bothering me more.<p>

It wasn't the fact that my world had changed. It was the fact that I could no longer turn a blind eye to it and I was starting to understand why Tseng was often more mad at himself than he was at others.

Like him, I _let_ this happen. Hojo was right.

I knew there was no hope for Tseng when I brought him to Hojo's lab in Nibelheim. Even Genesis knew and he tried to warn me. What was I expecting?

I chose to ignore it though. The thought of losing Tseng put me in such a state of denial that I chose to ignore the consequences of my actions. The worst part was that I had no idea what it was that I did wrong, exactly.

Nothing made sense. Worst of all, I didn't want any of it to make sense, and I wandered aimlessly through the streets of Junon while trying to clear my thoughts from my head.

* * *

><p>Eventually, I made it to the pier and emptily stared at the ocean, and I believe a peace offering was made by a man I'd been avoiding since the day I came to terms with the fact that I lost the most important thing in my life to him.<p>

"Infinite in mystery, is the gift of the Goddess," he said as he stood behind me, and I couldn't stop myself from smirking at the soft sound of his book closing after reading a passage that meant nothing to me at the time.

I never realized how much his voice was like a soothing song before, and I allowed it to aid the sounds of the ocean to quiet my inner turmoil.

"You know…" he said as he came to my side and leaned his back to the railing, "I often come here to quiet my soul… The wind sails over the surface, quietly, but surely…"

"More Loveless," I muttered, and he snorted while I turned to my side so I could face him.

"You and I suffer from the same poison, my friend," he said. Then he smirked and stared at the ground as if he were regretting something.

"Are we speaking of the same phantom?"

He reluctantly nodded before he let out a heavy sigh and quietly admitted, "A certain… tonberry…" Then he quickly shook his head and confessed that, "I should have stopped you. Both you and Hojo should have left well enough alone."

"What do you know about it?"

"Worse things than you know," he said, and I found myself smirking while thinking he had no idea what he was talking about. Then he breathed out, "Regardless," and he turned to the ocean to watch the waning light dance on the waves, "the killing blow pierces the heart, forever scarring it, and the day soon ends."

"To offer the night…" I assumed.

"I would have said, 'welcome,'" he casually jested, "but 'offer' will do."

"Given your gibberish and attempt at a peace offering, I can only assume that he dumped you."

"Cold," Genesis admitted, "but correct." Then he lowered his head and snickered. "Perhaps I deserve no more."

"Infinite in mystery," I reiterated. "It takes determination to hang onto that one."

"I _am_ determined," Genesis stated. "though, perhaps… not enough."

"Or too much," I wondered, as the passing thought of Tseng never telling me it was over with Genesis crossed my mind.


	15. Something Different in the Air

**Something Different in the Air**

* * *

><p>Tseng is hardly breathing when Genesis jumps down to check his pulse. He lands with a dull thud that disperses a cloud of dust. Then he leans over the man and presses his fingers to Tseng's neck while gritting his teeth.<p>

"Damn it," he angrily breathes out before he quickly removes the debris Tseng is half buried in, and something strange happens.

It's almost like the time Tseng nearly bled and froze to death in the Northern continent outside the lab Vincent helped him find. I'm standing there, watching like I was then. I'm waiting like I was then, and what I can see starts to blur into darkness. Everything except for Tseng disappears and he slowly blinks while looking upward. Then I hesitantly step forward when he blinks again.

The debris is gone. Genesis is gone, and everything falls silent. Every moment is dampened, dull, and dead, and Tseng subtly smirks as if I'm not the only one noticing the familiarity of our surroundings.

"Sephiroth," he breathes out, sounding serene and detached as his fingers slightly move and he continues to stare upward. Then he barely smiles and quietly comments that, "I'm beginning to believe you'll never give up on me."

"That disappoints you," I quietly say as I kneel without a sound and he turns to look at me with a calm expression and a trail of blood starts to run from the place where I stabbed him when he was at the Temple of the Ancients.

It was the same as the last time he could see me, and I'm suddenly reminded of the hell I fear he represents, when he contemplates my response and soberly admits, "Sometimes." Then he serenely smiles at me as the blood thickens and the scars showing from under his torn sleeve brighten as cruel reminders.

"Other times, it's nice to know your lingering presence isn't my imagination… I just… wish…" he starts as if he's suddenly struggling for breath and his eyes dim. I lunge forward as a result, hoping I can grab onto him before it's too late again.

Like always, I want to hang onto him and never let him go.

For a passing moment, I can only hope that the air I'm holding is more than my own imagination, and I keep my eyes shut tight while gripping onto the memory, knowing that the only thing I'm holding is myself as Genesis' voice becomes clearer from the deafness I suddenly desire. I silently curse at myself for wanting the darkness as the black behind my closed eyes turns red from the brightening light behind them.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon…" Genesis quietly repeats with a sense of urgency like he's talking to himself but wants to be heard at the same time, "Breathe!"

Seconds later, Tseng painfully breathes in as if he's struggling to survive and he chokes on the air when he tries harder. As a result, I turn my head in the semblance of wanting to turn away.

Maybe I can shut it off and walk away from it all. The constant reminders of what I want, what I've done, and what I can never have or undo repeats like a drum in my head. He was so close only seconds ago.

This is my hell. Since the day I was driven mad by the alien matter that ran through my veins, this has been my constant hell. I've been burdened to watch it steal my identity as it shattered those around me, and there has been nothing I could do about it. Even now, I'm forced to watch as a form of punishment, and I finally open my eyes to see Tseng struggling on the table in the lab while Genesis runs about as if he's frantic.

It's an odd thing to see, and I slowly stand while numbly thinking that I've never seen Genesis lose his composure in such a manner before. He was always erratic, but like he was always jealous of my ability to focus and surpass him at every turn, I find myself equally jealous of his ability to fight the alien that corrupted my mind and caused Angeal to sacrifice himself for what he believed in.

How did they hang onto their humanity? Is the only question that runs through my head while he randomly digs through numerous drawers that he leaves open for what appears to be a handful of potions.

"Stay with me!" he yells as he makes it back to the table with a trail of fallen bottles behind him and he drops what's left in his arms at Tseng's side.

Tseng's still struggling for breath and painfully gripping into the table at his sides while trying to move his right leg. The bone is broken and protruding through the skin.

With a closer look, his right shoulder is dislocated as well, and I wouldn't be surprised if several of his ribs are also broken.

"Leviathan," he chokes out as Genesis quickly fumbles with one of the bottles to open it and then he clumsily brings it to Tseng's mouth while sliding his arm behind Tseng's shoulder and slightly lifting his upper body to help him swallow. He's so rushed that he knocks more bottles onto the floor and he cringes when Tseng cries out from the sharp pain from being moved, but he keeps his voice even when he urges Tseng to, "Drink this… it will help you heal and numb the pain."

"My leg…" Tseng whines, and Genesis bites his bottom lip when he turns his attention to the twisted mess and he notes the protruding bone and a mixture of dried and fresh blood from Tseng's torn pants.

"It's broken," Genesis tells him. Then he turns his attention to Tseng's shoulder and clenches his teeth. "and the Goddess only knows what else you've managed to break."

After that, he grabs another potion and mindlessly knocks a few more onto the floor while telling Tseng to drink it as he opens another one and places it into Tseng's good hand and informs him that, "I'm going to have to reset the bone and check for others… I wouldn't be surprised if you have a multitude of fractures as well."

"Agh!" Tseng hisses as he grimaces when Genesis gently places his hand near the break on his leg.

As a result, Genesis clenches his jaw again and looks as if his mind is running through several scenarios at once, and he quietly mutters, "Okay," when he appears to come up with a possible solution. "Keep drinking those potions," he finally says as he visually studies Tseng's leg and then looks around as if he's looking for something.

Then he quickly goes back to the drawers and grabs a pair of scissors while mindlessly informing Tseng that, "If you drink enough of them, you should start to feel numb."

"I know," Tseng tiredly breathes out as he twists the cap off another bottle with his teeth and spits it across the room. "Alcohol has a tendency to do that."

"Yeah…" Genesis agrees while he taps his fingers on the counter as if his thoughts are trailing off, and he repeats, "They contain alcohol…" and with a quick nod, he goes over to a locked cabinet and smashes it with the pommel of his sword until it opens to reveal several bottles, and he asks, "It can be used as disinfectant… Correct?"

"Depends on the alcohol," Tseng mutters as he clumsily lets the bottle fall from his hand and he shakily reaches and feels for another, and asks, "Why don't you just reset my leg and shoulder and use your Restore Materia?"

"Because we both know how unpredictable your reactions are to Cure spells," Genesis replies as if he's irritated by Tseng's suggestion, and Tseng quirks his brow while he finishes off another bottle.

"Hmph," he mutters while twisting the cap off another with his teeth and mumbling that, "I figured the sadist in you would find the unpredictable results satisfying."

"Not now," Genesis warns as he grabs a few bottles and carries them back to Tseng while asking, "Will these do?"

Tseng curiously quirks his brow as he stares blindly at the ceiling. Then he mockingly asks Genesis to read the labels as if he should have known better.

For a moment, Genesis looks confused, and then he remembers why and shakes his head before reading them to Tseng, and he waits until Tseng finally answers. "I don't see why not, considering it's the only choice aside from using a Cure spell."

"I will _not_ use the materia!" Genesis suddenly yells as he slams the bottles onto the table beside Tseng and starts to open one of them as if he's upset about something, and then he quietly mutters as if to himself that, "I've already watched the negative effect it has on you, thanks to those bastardized remnants."

Tseng only snorts as the memory seems to come and go, and he closes his eyes while sarcastically muttering, "Considering that you hung around and watched, I had no idea you were so bothered by it."

"Don't," Genesis warns as he cuts open Tseng's pants with the scissors and pours the alcohol over the wound and Tseng flinches and hisses from the sharp sting. Then without warning, Genesis grabs Tseng's leg and quickly snaps the bone back into place and Tseng's entire body tenses.

"AAAGGGHHH!"

"Now…" Genesis quietly states, "The shoulder…"

"I take it back…" Tseng heavily breathes out as a tear from the pain rolls from the corner of his eye and wets the hair at his temple while he weakly laughs at the irony, "This must be more satisfying to you."

"Don't push it," Genesis warns him again as he firmly places one hand behind Tseng's shoulder and the other above it wile Tseng grimaces in preparation. "Despite the monster you believe me to be…" he quietly tells him as his cheek brushes against Tseng's, "I take no pleasure in this."

"Right…" Tseng breathes out, "Because you care so much about my well-being—AAAGGGHHH!"

"Right…" Genesis mindlessly mutters as he steps back and nods, covers his mouth, and stares at Tseng's mutilated body like he's horrified as he admits that, "I don't know what to do now."

"Really?" Tseng laughs out as if he's not surprised in the least.

"You're the one with medical training!" Genesis shouts as if he's accusing Tseng of being the one to blame for the situation, and he's partly right. "I was never taught how to save lives."

"Only to take them…" Tseng quietly states as if he partially understands, and another tear runs from the corner of his eye.

Though I'm not sure if it's from the pain or from something else, and Genesis walks up to him and lightly brushes the tear away with his thumb.

"So…?" he quietly asks as he leans closer and studies Tseng's blinded eyes. "What do I do now?"

"You have a choice," Tseng evenly answers, and then he clenches his jaw as he bitterly continues. "You either fix me by immobilizing the breaks, mending the wounds, and keeping me drugged with pain killers and antibiotics to stave off the inevitable infection that will follow, or you save yourself the trouble and kill me now," he tells him. "Either way, the end result is undesirable."

"You saw him… didn't you…" Genesis concludes as he strokes his thumb over Tseng's temple and leans closer while clarifying, "Sephiroth…" Then he asks as his lips reach a hair's width from Tseng's, "What did he say to you?"

"Nothing important," Tseng numbly answers as a red light suddenly pulsates across his and Genesis' face and illuminates the room in a rhythmic manner.

For a moment, Genesis pauses as if he's confused and watches the light flash over Tseng's pale skin. Then he clenches his jaw as he looks up and sees the soundless alarms going off. He set them up around their perimeter as visual warnings in hopes that Tseng would never be alerted to them and he hesitantly returns his attention to Tseng and stares at him as if he's studying Tseng's awareness to the new situation.

He shows no knowledge of Genesis' new concerns, and Genesis takes a moment before he leans close to Tseng again, and he quietly says, "You should sleep now." He takes a moment to stroke Tseng's hair as if he's telling Tseng it's for his own good rather than to voice his new concerns, and he blows a fine mist of dream powder into Tseng's face before running out of the observation lab, into the hall. As a precaution, he locks every door as he leaves.

* * *

><p>What was I thinking when I saw Tseng in Wutai and I quickly hid to conceal myself? I knew he was there. He told me he was going when I left his hotel back in Junon. Maybe I just didn't think he would still be there after three weeks, and Lazard never mentioned he was still there when I spoke with him.<p>

I'm not sure why Lazard would have said anything about it though. He wasn't the type to involve himself in other peoples' relations. He minded his own business and never spoke of anything but the orders he was passing on. Only on occasion, would he say something strange about himself that would lead me to wonder if he was relating it to something he knew but wasn't willing to outright say.

Regardless, he never spoke to me of Tseng or what he thought of us. He never let on whether he suspected there was more to our relationship than us just being friends. It would have made no sense if he mentioned anything at all about Tseng. For all I knew, he was under the impression we were still friends.

I don't know why I was focussing on it so much when I agreed to lead a party of soldiers to Wutai and saw a part of Tseng that I never knew existed.

He was no longer in his comfort zone. Nor was he respected or feared, and he suddenly seemed vulnerable as he walked to the merchant's counter at the Item shop he reluctantly walked into and placed a bag of medicine in front of the man while looking like it was the last place he wanted to be.

The man behind the counter looked equally hesitant, and as Tseng pulled out his wallet, he was told in Wutian that, "Your Gil's no good here."

All Tseng did was snort at the comment as he continued to count his change. His brow was quirked and his overall expression seemed annoyed and defensive.

His posture was slouched and he kept his head down as he placed the Gil on the counter and it was pushed back to him the second he removed his hand. "It's not for me," Tseng finally said as he stared at the gil and clenched his teeth.

"I don't care who it's for," the man told him as he placed his hands on the counter and leaned forward to express his distaste. "We don't serve your kind here."

"My kind..." Tseng softly repeated as he smirked and nodded like he fully understood the words that weren't spoken. Then he slowly ran his eyes over the man as if he were sizing him up. He ran his eyes over the man's large arms and the overfed torso before he finally met the merchant's eyes with a strange defiance as he slowly pushed the Gil back to the man.

Then he subtly grit his teeth and kindly reminded him that, "Gil is Gil... Regardless of whom offers it." Then his eyes fell to the man's oversized gut and he commented that, "You've obviously got mouths to feed... bills to pay..."

His tone was strangely submissive as he spoke, and his words were mildly insulting as he focussed on the flickering light behind the man and the splintered counter their hands were resting on. Something about their mannerism suggested they knew each other better than they let on, and when the man sneered at him and pushed the money toward Tseng again, Tseng quickly grabbed a fist full of hair at the back of the man's head and slammed his head into the corner of the counter.

"You fucking fag!"

"Say it again," Tseng warned through gritted teeth as his fist tightened in the man's hair and strands tore from the roots while he pressed the man's face harder against the counter. There was no controlled anger like he normally expressed, and he seemed almost feral.

Part of me wondered if this was the side of his personality that attacked the man in Gongaga several years ago. It was a part of him that he hid well from the rest of us, and as far as I knew, only Reno had seen it until now.

When the man started to struggle, Tseng quickly grabbed something heavy from the counter and was about to smash the man's head with it when he was suddenly stopped by the sharp sound of another man's voice as the sound of the door's bell chimed when it opened.

"Tseng!" the other man yelled, sounding like a man of authority, and Tseng quickly tossed the object behind the counter before he pulled the man's head up by the hair and pushed him into the shelves behind him, causing the merchant to lose his balance as the objects on the shelves tumbled down.

After that, Tseng sneered without turning around and said, "Kisaragi," under his breath like he was disgusted. Then he smirked as he turned to see the man at the door and he grabbed the gil from the counter and threw it at the merchant before he grabbed the bag of medicine and informed through his teeth that, "I was just leaving."

"Of course you were," the man at the door said as the merchant straightened his hair and vengefully stared at Tseng's back. I could only assume the man at the door was Godo Kisaragi.

I didn't get a good look at him from the angle I was at, but I knew the name, and I knew the status of the Kisaragi's in the town. I also knew that Tseng was a member of their family, and as Tseng angrily walked passed him, he followed, and so did I.

* * *

><p>Most of it was curiosity. For the first time, I believed I was seeing Tseng for who he really was. There was no act, and he wasn't attempting to impress anyone. It appeared that they already knew him better than anyone else did, and as he walked quickly down the street, he was sneered at by the same people that would bow their heads a second later to the man walking behind him.<p>

The interactions continued for a few blocks. All the while, Tseng kept glancing back in an inconspicuous manner like he felt he was being followed by someone other than Kisaragi, and when they reached a place that seemed familiar to the other man, Tseng was quickly escorted inside.

I'm not sure what the nature of their conversation was. Nor am I completely certain of what transpired. I could only guess. All I knew was that the shadows I could barely make out hinted that Tseng was angrily smacked across the face and then pushed against the wall.

Some of the louder words were easier to translate, but most of it was from the other man because Tseng was talking in a low and bitter tone while he was yelled at about disgracing the family, or something along those lines.

He was asked how his mother would feel if she knew what kind of menace he'd become, and it appeared that Tseng tried to leave at that point, but he was pulled back.

Not once, did he raise a hand to the man. Nor did he attempt to fight back. The shadows suggested his head was down and his shoulders were higher than usual, and I could only guess that he wanted nothing more than to leave.

Unfortunately, that was all I witnessed. I had no idea what transpired afterward because one of our undercover agents from Shinra noticed me standing between two buildings as if I were hiding from something, and he asked why.

My only excuse was that I thought I saw something. Then we left to continue with our mission.

* * *

><p>Should I have been surprised by what I saw? I knew Wutai was his home, and I knew he left it for personal reasons. So, I wasn't exactly sure why I couldn't clear it out of my head.<p>

He made it clear this was something he wanted to leave in his past. He never hid the fact that he hated his place of origin or that he was close to his mother and that she was the only reason he ever went back. Though, he never really told me anything about her.

For years, we lived together, and he never said a word about her. All I knew was that he'd run to Wutai immediately if she asked him to. He also phoned her nearly every night and spoke to her for almost an hour or more while constantly asking her if she was all right and then acting frustrated whenever she said whatever it was she was saying to him on the other end. I knew absolutely nothing about the woman, except for what I think I gathered from the insane rantings of Hojo, if there was any merit to it.

She was like a well guarded secret, and I had no idea what she looked like, sounded like, or where she even lived. In a way, it was almost like he kept her hidden, and I suddenly wondered why.

I knew better than to concern myself with it too much though. My reason for being in Wutai had nothing to do with him or his secretive nature. I was there on a mission and I had a job to do, but by the end of the day when the other soldiers retired and I stood on the balcony of the Inn we were staying at, I found myself staring at the mountains as if they were calling to me.

There was a faint song playing in my head like a lure from a familiar voice I never told anyone about, and I turned as if my actions weren't my own and grabbed my sword. For a moment, I stared at the reflection as if I had no idea whom it was staring back at me, and then I mindlessly sheathed it and walked outside.

* * *

><p>At the time, I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I couldn't stop myself from walking toward the mountains and I wasn't concerned about why I was going there, and the farther I went, the more contradictory my surroundings became.<p>

Part of me felt more comfortable than I'd felt in along time and I began to wonder if the strange serenity was the same feeling Genesis often had when he had that calm and distant look in his eyes. It was like he was seeing and listening to something the rest of us couldn't see or hear.

Another part of me felt adventurous, the way I imagined Angeal often felt when we were sent somewhere we'd never been before. His smile would broaden and his eyes would light up as he admired his new surroundings and investigated them to his heart's content.

At the same time, I was more than aware of the dangerous creatures in the shadows as they watched with predatory eyes when I stepped from the well beaten path toward the sound of running water. The foliage grew denser, but there was unmistakable evidence stating that I was walking down a path that was travelled many times.

There was a thin line where foliage didn't grow as if I were following a trail only a few people knew of. The ground was firm and compact beneath my feet. All the while, I kept my hand on the hilt of my sword, ready for whatever creature that might take the chance to attack.

As I walked farther, the sound of running water grew louder, and the path branched out in several directions. I remember thinking as I mindlessly followed the one to the farthest right that, This must be where the people of the mountains live.

I remembered hearing rumours about them in the town. They said it was mostly outcasts and those that had given up on society and social laws that lived out there. Their homes were scattered and they were the unfriendly type, and I continued until the path lead me to an open meadow where a clear creek ran over a rocky bed.

The turbulent surface played with the light from the half moon that was clear in the sky, and the falls where the creek originated from was barely visible in the far distance. The terrain looked mistier in that direction, and I turned my attention downstream. Something was tugging at me from there, and I started walking toward it again.

This time, I stayed along the edge of the creek as I followed its direction. The path began to widen as if it were well used, and I found myself pausing as I suddenly stopped and emptily stared at a stone bench.

I was on someone's property, I realized, and I studied the porous rock while noting that the carvings on its legs reminded me of music. I wasn't sure why since I couldn't recall ever seeing a music score, but it seemed familiar somehow, and I tried to reason why it made me think of a violin.

Then I realized the reason.

I could hear one playing, almost sombrely, and I found myself pulled toward it before I realized I'd started walking again.

As it became louder, I could hear the keys of a piano accompanying it. It was played with a light touch, like weak fingers that were once trained had grown tired, but the passion and desire were still there. It was sad and playful at the same time, and I stopped when the music stopped, realizing I was standing outside someone's home and wondering why I was there.

I couldn't place my finger on it, but I nearly froze when I heard a familiar voice from inside saying, "Okay mother, that's enough… you need your rest."

_Tseng?_ I thought, and I suddenly looked around while wondering what lead me there.

_Was it possible this was the home he kept a secret from the world?_

It was a small home. It didn't look anywhere near Tseng's standards, and I took note of the moss-covered roof and an old shed nearby. An axe was recently used to chop wood, and a small garden that looked freshly watered was a few meters from the rear entrance.

_Was it possible for him to be that…_

_Domestic?_

My thoughts were cut short when I heard a woman coughing and complaining that he never used to be so serious. "You used to love playing the violin," she said as he weakly laughed while she pointed out that, "there was a time I couldn't get you to put it down."

"Times were different then," he told her in a caring tone, "and you weren't as ill as you are now."

"It's only a cold," she argued, before she playfully added, "It will pass."

"Just take your medicine. I went through a lot of trouble to get it for you," he told her as if he were chastising her, and their moving shadows became visible from where I was standing.

It appeared that she were limping and he were aiding her with a caring hand, and I reluctantly stepped back and focussed on the oddest thing.

I had no idea he played the violin, or any instrument, for that matter...

This was a place I wasn't supposed to be. Every fibre of my being told me so. Yet I couldn't leave. Instead, I quietly stepped back and mindlessly sat on the stone bench when the back of my knee pressed against it. Then I sat there and watched the small home as if I had no other choice.

* * *

><p>For almost an hour, their shadows moved about and I watched as if I'd never seen a family behave so close and familiar before. Their tone was playful and teasing toward one another and a warm comfort emanated from the small home.<p>

It made me realize how empty my own life had been and I felt my heart skip a beat as he helped her to her room and helped her into her bed before sitting beside her as she quietly reminisced over Tseng's childhood and the things she wished for him.

He didn't say much in return. Instead, he mostly told her she needed her rest when she said she wished he could stay longer.

"You know I have a life, Mother," he calmly told her as he walked to her bedroom window and partially closed it so that it wasn't entirely open anymore, and then he paused and stared at the creak running near her window while she told him he could have a life in Wutai as well.

As a response, he only bowed his head and subtly shook it. Then he turned from the window and said something else I couldn't make out before he turned out the light and left the room.

The house grew quiet after that, and I continued to stare at it and cringed when he stepped outside and quietly closed the door behind him.

At first, I wondered if he knew I was there. Then I relaxed when he walked to a generator near the wood shed. He spent some time tinkering with it and checking its levels before he completely disappeared as if he'd never been there.

Part of me wondered if there was another entrance to the home that was hidden behind the shed, but then I realized there was no evidence of him going back inside, and I sat there arguing with myself until I finally got up to see if he was all right.

I knew I shouldn't have. I knew I wasn't supposed to be there, but I got up and walked toward the house anyway.

Each step felt more forbidden as it brought me closer. I wasn't aware that I'd placed my hand on the hilt of my sword as if there were something dangerous in the air as I approached the shed and noticed that there was no one in sight, and I noted there was no door that he could have reentered the home through.

It was as if he'd vanished. I had no idea where he'd gone or why, but the tugging in my chest began again. The sound of crickets grew louder as the rising mist almost covered the tops of my boots while I walked over the dewy grass as if I were being pulled. The mist was thick and hid the evidence of foot prints I might have seen otherwise, and I widened my eyes when I tried to focus on the woods surrounding the home while thinking it was the only place he could have gone.

It made no sense why he would go out there. It was almost black under the canopy of leaves above, and I continued to focus on the darkness when the sound of flint being sparked followed by a small aura of light behind one of the trees caught my attention. It was a lighter, and the smell of burning tobacco soon followed.

"Whomever you are," he calmly said after he exhaled as if he knew I'd been there for some time, "you have no business being here."

It sounded like him, but something wasn't right. As I watched what looked like the end of a cigarette being inhaled in the darkness, I recalled how he used to complain about the smell of Reno when he used to smoke.

If I recalled correctly, he said that Reno smelled like an ashtray, and I took a step forward and stopped when I heard the sound of the safety trigger from a gun being pulled back and was warned, "People disappear in these woods all the time… never to be found."

Then the light from the cigarette brightened again and he exhaled shortly after, and I said the only thing that came to mind.

"I thought you hated smokers."

"Leviathan," he muttered. Then he lightly chuckled as he stepped into sight and said as if he were mildly surprised, "Sephiroth…"

Instead of saying anything in return, I merely focused on the open bottle of alcohol he was holding in the same hand as his cigarette, and I took a deep breath to show my disapproval as he reengaged the safety on his gun and returned it to its holster.

"I was wondering who was following me all day," he said as he took another drag and exhaled. "You were the last person I would have expected."

Then he smirked at his cigarette when I asked, "How long have you been smoking?"

"All my life," he answered as he flicked his ashes in a way that seemed habitual. Then he shrugged while swirling the alcohol in the bottle and carelessly muttered, "Off and on…"

After that, he sarcastically grinned and took a drink as if he were daring me to do something about it, and in retrospect, I never did anything about it the first time. I let Rufus and Reno deal with his problem, and the best I could come up with was, "I thought you weren't supposed to be drinking."

"I had a bad day," he bitterly responded as he made himself more visible and I noted the bluish discolouration on his cheekbone as if someone had hit him. It triggered the memory of Kisaragi hitting him earlier and I curiously wondered why he did nothing to protect himself from the man. Then he stepped closer and looked me up and down while muttering, "Besides, You're one to talk."

Then he defiantly looked me in the eye, took another drag from his cigarette, blew it in my face, and nicely finished it off with a large gulp from the bottle without breaking eye contact.

"Give me the bottle," I calmly said, and he snorted at me as if I had no right to hold out my hand and make such a demand. After that, he decided to clarify his thoughts by adding, "You're a joke," and he walked passed me toward the bench while muttering as if to himself that, "I highly doubt you would have handed over your problems so easily if I'd so much as asked."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked as I turned and watched him take another drink before he chuckled to himself and sat down with his back to me.

"Your addiction… Sephiroth," he answered. "Is far worse than mine will ever be."

"You nearly killed a man because of yours," I mindlessly reminded him, and all he did was shrug as he took another drag from his cigarette like he didn't care.

"For a man who's never tasted alcohol, you seem to think you're well informed on the topic." Then he chuckled again and slightly turned as I slowly walked in his direction and sarcastically asked him to enlighten me.

"In my case, alcohol was only a side effect to a larger problem… I can finish this bottle tonight, and then go on about my life without ever touching it again." Then he sneered and bitterly asked, "Can you say the same about your own addiction?"

"That's not what I've heard," I answered, ignoring the jibe he was making to my inability to stay faithful to him.

"Oh?" he mockingly asked as I moved to the front of the bench and stared down at him. Then he playfully patted the empty spot on the bench beside him as if he were teasing me and mockingly asked, "Tell me then… Dear Sephiroth… What have the experts taught you?"

The silence that followed had nothing to do with me not knowing how to answer him. It was more because the depth in his eyes seemed pained. He seemed lost and vulnerable, and I took a deep breath before I calmly sat beside him and passively took the bottle from his hand.

To be honest, I didn't know the first thing about alcohol. He was right. I'd never tried it and the smell nauseated me. I had no idea what it was he was even drinking. The label was Wutian, and I spoke and read Wutian, but I still didn't have the slightest clue about what it was I was suddenly holding as I stared at the label and noted through the corner of my eye that his cigarette had gone out from idling for too long.

It was at that point, part of me wondered how many personalities he had. Then I began to wonder if it was merely me that chose to ignore the different facets of his personality. If I thought hard enough, I couldn't say that he ever tried to hide the side he was showing me as much as I chose to stop him from showing it, and I let out a deep sigh as I reluctantly brought the bottle to my lips, took a small sip, and gagged.

"Leviathan," he suddenly laughed out as he let the cigarette fall from his fingers and he smacked me on the back in a friendly way. "The more I open my eyes to you," he said, "the more I realize I'm not the one with the issues."

Then he took the bottle from my hand and dumped it on the ground at my feet while stating that, "Perhaps it was a good thing you came tonight."

"Why's that?" I coughed out, still choking on the fumes from the fiery liquid he so easily drank, and he placed his arm around my back and rested his hand on my shoulder while stating that, "because sometimes, you remind me that there are worse things in life."

I could have taken what he said on many levels. He could have been referring to my own empty childhood and that he was thankful for his own, or he could have been referring to my infidelity, or he could have been referring to nothing more than the fact that he felt I was the worse thing that ever entered his life.

I chose to focus on the latter, and I quietly sat there and stared at the misty ground while ignoring the sound of the running water from the creek when he asked me why I followed him.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I had no idea this was where you lived."

"I don't live here," he dryly responded, and I shifted uncomfortably when he removed his hand from my back and he leaned forward to stare at the creek as if he were hypnotized by it while he breathed out, "and that doesn't answer my question."

I knew that, and I did my best to explain that I felt drawn to the area for no known reason while he continued to rest his forearms on his knees as if he were more interested in the water than he was in the explanation.

He showed no sign of interest and offered no comment while I continued to explain myself, and when I was done, he let out a deep breath and leaned back while rubbing his palms over his knees.

"I see," he said. Though he showed no expression to reveal whether he believed me or if he thought I was just making up an excuse for following him, which is what I believed he chose to believe.

Then I asked him about Kisaragi and why he didn't do anything when the man escorted him into the building, and he appeased my suspicions about who the man was and he admitted that the man was his uncle.

"We were never close," he told me. "But he still likes to think he has a say in what I do and say."

"It seems to me that he does," I pointed out, and he simply shrugged and took a quick glance at his empty bottle before returning his attention to me as if something caught his curiosity.

"Don't you have a job to do here?"

"I do," I admitted.

"Then don't you think you should be doing it?"

"I thought you didn't like it when people changed the topic," I pointed out.

"I don't."

"Then why are you doing it?"

With a light chuckle he brushed a loose hair back with the palm of his hand, and then he muttered something about Wutai being his home and that he could do whatever he wanted there. It was the only place in the world where he could be himself, and the only place in the world he couldn't tolerate. Then he stood up and told me that I had a mission to do and that I should return to the Inn so that I could get some sleep.

"From what I understand, you have a long day ahead of you," he said as he brushed some dust from his thigh and looked down at me, "and you've already wasted the majority of your night chasing after a lost cause."

"Lost cause," I slowly repeated as if his choice of words confused me.

Then he smiled and placed his hand on my cheek while lightly brushing my cheekbone with his thumb. "Yes," he said, and he leaned closer to place a small kiss on my forehead. "Perhaps it's the alcohol talking, but despite what I'd love to do with you tonight, and the fact that you're the last person I want to be doing it with, I believe you have more important things to be chasing after right now."

After that, he chuckled as if to himself and started walking away while telling me to, "Go back to the Inn, Sephiroth… Stick to what you know and what you're good at… and stay the hell away from those that would rather smash your face in for no other reason than the fact that they don't know what else to do with it."

"Nice…" I sarcastically muttered as I watched him quietly close the door behind him, and then I sat there for a few minutes while struggling with mixed feelings before I decided to get up and get as little sleep as I possibly could that night.

He was right anyway. There was no way I was going to be as alert the next day when I only had a couple of hours left to catch up on something I should have been doing from the moment I entered the Inn.

* * *

><p>During the rest of my stay in Wutai, I never saw him again, and that unexplainable twinge that pulled me to him that night disappeared. My best guess was that he'd left shortly after we met at his mother's and he returned to Midgar. Part of me hoped Lazard would send him back to Wutai, but instead, the only familiar Turks I ran into were Reno and some new guy with dark, tattooed skin and piercings.<p>

It was the same man that took my sword on the day Tseng called me into an interrogation in Junon. Reno called him Rude, and he seemed to be fond of the large Turk that I could only interpret as a challenge that appealed to the strange redhead.

For the most part, they stayed together and Reno appeared that he were joined to the man's hip. He spoke more than usual and frequently taunted the man for having a large afro and soft brown eyes.

He continuously told him that he looked like a large kid.

"Ya have eyes like a doe, Man" he once told him when the man told him to back off in a baritone voice that seemed threatening. "That's why ya ain't gettin any results when ya question people. Yer too cute… I mean… ya have the scary voice an size an all, but… those eyes… ain't no one gonna take ya seriously."

Then he threw in a playful jibe about how the man should do something with his hair as well. He mentioned something about disco being dead, and I wound up telling him to shut up because he was starting to annoy me as well.

After all, when Reno became talkative, he rarely had anything worth hearing to say, and I flipped to the next page of the book I was reading while we waited for the vehicles escorting us to arrive at our destination.

It was an ordinary mission. There were some new faces, some old, and whenever Reno was around, he rarely failed to get under someone's skin. Though, to be fair, he usually chose a Soldier to annoy instead of one of his fellow Turks.

* * *

><p>When I arrived back in Midgar, I realized how alien everything suddenly felt since Tseng and I went our separate ways. I wasn't sure how to explain why I chose to rent a hotel room instead of returning to an apartment that was occupied by a Turk who acted like a vicious tonberry, and I wasn't sure how I could back out of going to a party Shinra was throwing in honour of its Soldiers and Turks for a successful mission.<p>

As a result, I chose to fall back on Tseng's story when I was asked about the Hotel, and I chose to admit that I had a problem and overstepped my boundaries by acting like the disgusting pervert I assumed Tseng said I was.

Yes, I had a problem with promiscuity, and I figured that even a dead man couldn't say 'No' to me, and I was wrong. I paid no mind to the awkward glances I received when I admitted that I was finding the abstinence my shrink recommended more challenging than I originally thought it would be.

I also paid no mind to the fact that most people appeared surprised and confused when I confessed that I propositioned Tseng.

_Who cares? _I figured as I walked through a room full of strangers and admitted that I was a sexual monster. Then I bitterly smirked when I saw Tseng flirting with a woman whom I felt was wearing too much makeup and I grabbed a glass of wine as a waiter with a tray of full glasses walked by, and I took a sip and nearly gagged.

It tasted like vomit in a glass and I wondered how in the hell alcoholism ever became a problem to begin with.

Additionally, I wondered why in the hell Tseng kept secretly falling off the wagon, now that I knew he still had a weakness for the fermented garbage, and I glared at him as he charmingly smiled at the woman and laughed at what appeared to be an uninteresting joke.

Then I heard a curious question from behind my left shoulder. It sounded mocking as it musically questioned, "Wine?" and I dizzily turned to see an amused smirk to my right, and a disapproving stare to my left.

"Genesis…" I said as I motioned the glass to him as if I were making a toast, and then I motioned it to the other while stating in a greeting tone, "Angeal…"

Then I took another sip and felt like gagging again, and I tried to ignore the mindless swoon I was suddenly feeling.

"What are you doing?" Angeal sternly asked as he looked at my drink and kept his arms crossed over his chest in a manner of disapproval, and Genesis' attention went from an amused glance at my drink to something that appeared vindictive when his attention snapped passed me and fixated on something behind me.

"I'm conducting an experiment," I said as I took another drink and mindlessly quivered over the fact that I felt I was going to vomit on Angeal from the pungent flavour.

"Really," Angeal sarcastically responded while Genesis' lips pursed and he bitterly spat out, "I don't believe this! That impervious backstabber is at it again!"

I noticed his comment wasn't directed at me, and I chose to ignore it while I took another sip and defiantly held Angeal's gaze with my own.

"He's acting like a whore!" Genesis hissed as he angrily walked passed me and hit my shoulder as if he were trying to get my attention, and Angeal's attention suddenly snapped to Genesis and he warned under his breath, "Don't!"

It fell on deaf ears though, and Angeal's eyes followed what I could only assume was Genesis as he went wherever to do whatever, and I took another drink while cursing at myself and detesting the dizziness I was experiencing.

It wasn't my usual dizziness. I was used to that, and I chuckled at Angeal while suddenly wondering out loud, "When are you ever going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?" Angeal angrily asked as his attention snapped back to me.

"That you're in love with him," I said, suddenly struggling not to slur and wondering why I was having a difficult time with it. "It's been obvious from the start that you're in love with him."

"I think you've had enough," Angeal told me as he reached for my drink and I defiantly pulled it away and took another sip while wondering why I was torturing myself and suddenly realizing that it didn't taste as bad as it initially did.

"I've only had a few sips."

"Yes, and for someone like you, it's probably the equivalent to an entire bottle, now give it to me."

"Oooh…" I tauntingly breathed out while dumbly smiling at him. "I had no idea you were so demanding."

"Sephiroth…" Angeal sternly said as he shook his head and grabbed a hold of my glass and we both seemed unconcerned about the contents spilling onto the floor. "You forget I come from a common family. We had a glass with every meal," he explained. Though, I wasn't sure why it was relevant. "I've seen the effect it has on those that aren't used to it. It hits them hard and fast."

"I dunno what yer talkin 'bout," I admitted, and then I knitted my brows over why my grammar was suddenly starting to sound like Reno's to me.

"I know you don't," he responded. Then he clarified in a way that didn't make any sense. "Like I said, I know how quickly it effects those that don't drink, and to my knowledge, you've never touched a drop in your life."

"Not true," I corrected, and then I nearly lost my balance when I leaned back and confessed that, "I drank in Wutai… I had a sip from a tonberry."

"Really," Angeal sarcastically said as he grabbed one of the straps across my chest to balance me and I giggled at him while wryly lowering my tone and telling him that, "People'r tonna galk if they see ya touchin me like this in pubic… pu-pub-lick."

Then I leaned closer to him and quietly chuckled into his ear, "Though, given Genesis' comptetitive nature 'gainst me, it might improve yer chances with the little Quama Dreen."

"I'm not in love with Genesis," Angeal angrily grumbled in a low tone before he mocked my inability to talk properly while he uneasily gripped into the straps across my chest as if he were angry about something. I couldn't help but notice that his angry attention had fallen passed me toward what I assumed was Genesis again.

"So…" I playfully taunted. "Ya really are a man aftra all.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't think I'm not noticin how blothered ya are over the way he's reactin to m'tonbry flirtin with his next conkest ovra there," I quietly chided into his ear through my own gritted teeth over the way Tseng was flirting with the woman, and then I dryly heaved and admitted as if I were surprised that, "think I'm gonna be sick."

With a quick flex to his fist in my straps, Angeal let go and placed his arm around my shoulder while suddenly walking me to the balcony.

"You need fresh air," he told me, and he looked back several times on our way out in a way that seemed irritated.

Then he finally admitted when he walked me to the railing of the balcony that, "I really don't understand what the two of you see in a man that clearly wants nothing to do with either of you."

"Not true," I spat out as I cupped my forehead with my left hand and leaned over the railing, and Angeal kindly held my hair back while I threw up onto whatever was below us.

Then I gagged and threw up again before I told him that, "It's only Gen-sis he's not interested in."

"You really need to leave him alone, my friend," Angeal told me with a calm and compassionate voice as I gripped onto the railing and threw up again, and then I admitted that, "I can't."

"I know."

Then he sighed and leaned on the railing beside me while I continued to heave.

"I just don't understand why the two of you continue to torture yourselves over him," he admitted. "I get that you love him… I just don't understand why, or why you do what you do to yourself because of him"

"I can't speak for Genesis."

"I realize that," Angeal kindly said as he fidgeted with the strap on his glove. "Genesis has always played to the beat of his own drum. Even as kids, he had a passion I could never understand, but you always struck me as level-headed… and then this… man enters your lives, and you both go completely upside down for him…. I guess… I just don't get it."

"You're not the only one that's confused," I admitted as Angeal stroked the back of my head in a consoling manner and I heaved again.

"You're doing things you've never done before, and Genesis has taken to cornering a man he only slept with out of vengeance so that he can threaten him."

"Threaten?" I asked, suddenly confused over what we were talking about as I heaved again and Angeal was kind enough to hold my hair back again.

"Yes," he said. "I caught him cornering the Turk in the hallway of the tower the other day… I overheard him threatening Tseng, and when I made my presence known, Tseng quickly walked away as if he were presented with an escape route, and Genesis smugly smiled at me as if he'd done nothing wrong… That's why Genesis' behaviour concerns me, Sephiroth… It's…"

"He's threatening him?"

"Yes," Angeal admitted. "I overheard Tseng calling him insane, and I'm beginning to fear he might be right… Genesis grows angrier by the day and I'm not sure what to do about it."

With a weak smile, I tiredly rested my elbow on the railing so that I could rest my head on my hand with the added support, and I jokingly asked, "Are you jealous?"

"Sephiroth…" Angeal said in a scolding tone as he slowly shook his head. "We've all known each other for a long time… Please don't tell me you're not sensing something is changing us…"

"I wish I could," I told him as I brushed my sweaty bang from my forehead. "But unfortunately, recent circumstances have called upon my full attention." Then I weakly smiled at him and admitted that, "You could be right… I'm not sure," and I turned my attention to the lit up city of Midgar below us while contemplating the fact that I needed to keep the rest of my suspicions to myself.

He was right. Something was off about all of us, and even though Angeal could openly admit to it, I wasn't prepared to deal with what I suspected, despite what I'd already learned about a few other things in my life.

* * *

><p>The rest of the evening was uneventful. Tseng stayed with the woman for the most part, and Genesis hovered nearby, glaring at him and making him seem uneasy. Tseng did his best to avoid eye contact with him, and every now and then, he glanced my way as if he wanted to say something to me.<p>

The opportunity never arrived though, and as the evening progressed, I found myself growing unusually tired and I wanted to go to the Hotel so that I could sleep off the sickening swoon that kept sneaking up on me.

"I'm gonna leave," I finally said as I staggered into Angeal and cursed my lack of balance, and Angeal asked if I needed his help. When I shook my head at him and staggered to the door, I told him I'd be fine.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he kept his pace with me and offered to take me home.

"I'm sure," I tiredly said, barely able to keep my eyes open. "I'll catch a cab."

"Have a cup of coffee when you get home," He suggested. "It'll help sober you up a little."

"I don't drink coffee."

"Yeah, and before tonight, you didn't touch alcohol either," he reminded me. "Trust me, My Friend… Have a cup of coffee… You'll thank me for it later."

Rather than argue, I merely nodded and blindly waved him away when the cool air seemed to have a slightly welcoming affect on my condition, and I stumbled into a cab after it pulled to the curb.

I never did have a cup of coffee.

Instead, I fell onto the bed, face down and fully clothed, and passed out.

* * *

><p>I must have slept for a couple of hours at best, maybe just a little over an hour. When I awoke and realized my head was hanging over the edge of the bed, I decided to stay that way and stare at the floor.<p>

At first, I thought about nothing other than the fact that I was staying in yet another place that wasn't my home. It was nothing new, but it bothered me. After that, I couldn't get the way Tseng was talking to that woman out of my head, and I began wondering how long he'd known her and if he was in a serious relationship with her.

I tried to convince myself that I was happy for him. I didn't deserve him any way. He deserved to be happy. Unfortunately, another part of me knew that he'd never be happy, and I wound up leaving the Hotel to find myself standing in front of an old familiar door at two-hundred hours in the morning.

I had no courage to knock or to open it. I stood outside and thought about why I was there. For all I knew, he might not have been home yet. Maybe he never came home, or maybe he was already sleeping, or worse, maybe he wasn't alone.

How would I justify myself for embarrassing him if I walked in? This wasn't like the night I caught him with Genesis.

Not only that, if he were home, awake, and alone, how would I explain my presence, and why did the thought of his life without me suddenly intimidate me so much?

Never mind. I knew the reason, and as I held my fist in the air as if I were going to knock, I hesitated and rested my forehead on the door while realizing that anyone could see me doing what I was doing if they came home or left their apartment.

Part of me wanted to avoid the explanations. Yet another part of me couldn't move, and my insides knotted up when I heard the lock from the other side of the door unlatch. In a moment of anticipation, I straightened up and started walking away as fast as I could, and then I stopped in mid step when he said, "Sephiroth…? What in Leviathan's name are you doing?"

"I…" I started as I kept my back to him, "Don't know."

"It's the middle of the night."

I didn't know how to respond, and the first thing that came out of my mouth wasn't exactly something I think I would have planned on saying. "I got drunk and threw up… and I didn't like it," I said, and then I silently cursed at myself for saying something so… dumb.

"You don't drink," he sternly said as I hesitantly turned around and his look went from hard to soft in an instant. Then he cleared the entrance he was blocking and regretfully muttered, "Leviathan… Seph… Come inside before someone sees you."

_Seph…_

I hadn't heard that name for far too long, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until that moment as I walked to the apartment with my head down and Tseng grumbled that, "You remind me of a child sometimes."

Then he motioned to the sofa and I sat down while keeping my attention on his half empty cup of tea and a book that was laying face down on the coffee table so that he didn't lose his page while he said he was going to make a cup of coffee for me.

"I don't drink coffee," I quietly protested, and he responded by telling me that, "You will tonight."

Then he softly chuckled and I realized he must have been home for a while, and that he was alone as he assured me in a soothing tone, "Don't worry, it's nothing like alcohol… I'm sure you can handle half a cup."

"It has caffeine."

"Yes," he agreed, "but it shouldn't keep you up all night, I'm only giving you enough to help sober you up."

After that, he hesitated and chuckled to himself that, "I can't believe I just said that to you, of all people… Leviathan… For a man as worldly as you, you have such a naive and innocent side sometimes."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, and he didn't answer.

Instead, he made the coffee, brought me half a cup, and then he sat down beside me and grabbed his tea while staring at me as if he were amused by something.

He didn't say anything regarding it though, and I wound up asking him how he knew I was at the door.

"I didn't," he said. "I couldn't sleep. So, I decided to have a cup of tea and read a chapter of that book you keep reading… Mostly because I'm curious why you're so drawn to it." Then he sighed and sat back with his tea.

"And?" I asked, suddenly curious about his point of view on it and he shrugged.

"I just started reading it… I don't have an opinion right now…" he said before he took a sip of his tea and sighed. "Anyway, I managed to get a couple of chapters down when I heard something brushing against the door. So, I decided to see what it was but I couldn't see anything through the peep hole, and when I opened it, I saw you walking away."

"You humble me," I admitted as I took a sip and sneered at the intensely bitter flavour I wasn't expecting, and he smiled while commenting that, "It doesn't taste like it smells… Though, like many things, it grows on you."

After that, he paused as he studied me for a moment. Then he quickly diverted his eyes and cleared his throat while confessing that, "Part of me wanted you to keep walking when I opened the door."

"Why'd you stop me then?"

"I don't know," he said, before he took another sip and looked around the room as if he were haunted by something. "I suppose, another part of me misses something… Sometimes, when I come home, I sit here, half-expecting you to walk through the door at any moment… Sometimes, I fantasize about it."

He chuckled at the comment as if he thought he sounded foolish before he continued. "Then I remind myself that you were nothing but a selfish and egotistical maniac whose reputation went to his head, and that you were violently jealous and unfaithful."

"I see," I muttered as I lowered my head and took another sip.

"But," he emphasized, "I also realize that I was no joy to live with. I'm closed, out of touch with my emotions, and I have a tendency to ignore the needs of those around me, mostly because I'm also selfish… It makes me wonder if I was the one at fault."

"You weren't," I said as he shook his head and smirked.

"Don't flatter me, Seph… I don't deserve it. I have a problem when it comes to emotional ties and I know it. I just… can't help it and it makes me wonder if I didn't help push you into the arms of others."

"I think I would have done it anyway," I admitted, and he sadly smiled as he held the cup close to his mouth as if he were shy about his smile. "Maybe it sounds like an excuse, but I can't handle being away from you."

"So you satisfy your loneliness by sleeping with others?" he asked as if it were a challenge of some sort, and I kept my head low while I subtly nodded. "What a pathetic pair, we are," he suddenly said. Then he took another sip and snorted. "We're both so good at what we do. We challenge adversity without giving it a second thought. We take pride in our jobs and excel at what we know. We have no issues following orders, or even giving them. Yet, when it comes to matters of the heart, we both act like novices and have no idea what direction we're supposed to be going in."

"I should warn you that the book you're reading is a love story," I suddenly said as I stared at it and he snickered.

"I figured as much," he said. Then he sat forward and picked it up so that he could study the cover. "To be honest, I'm not a fan, but I assumed you kept reading it because you were trying to understand something." Then he flipped through the pages and chuckled. "Either that, or you just like the seedy parts."

"It's a man and a woman," I dully reminded him. Then I sat my coffee down while admitting that, "I generally skip over those parts."

"Ah…" Tseng breathed out as if he had an epiphany. Then he mockingly pointed out that, "That's right. You once confessed that you'd never been with one, and that you weren't even curious about what it was like."

"Confessed," I sarcastically repeated.

"Yes," he resounded, and then he pulled an envelope out from under the cushion he was sitting on and I frowned at the familiarity of it. "However, according to these photos," he casually said as he dumped the contents onto the coffee table and I cringed at the reminder of why it was so familiar, "you eventually appeased that curiosity."

Then he turned so that he could study my expression and coldly asked, "So… What was it like?"

"You're a Gaiadamned bastard, Tseng," I said as I stood while admitting that, "I can't believe you still have those."

"Don't call me a bastard," Tseng sternly warned, then he grabbed a handful of the photos and looked at them as if he were studying evidence from a crime scene. "I look at them from time to time," he told me. "Usually, it's when I've had a bad day and I'm trying to figure you out… but mostly, it's to remind me why I don't want you back in my life."

"I can't believe Genesis took those," I said under my breath as I walked to the door with a tight feeling in my chest, and he snickered as he went through the ones he was holding.

"I'm curious to know, Seph."

"Shut up," I said as I placed my hand on the handle and stopped in mid turn when I heard him release the safety on his gun.

Then he warned me, "Open that door, and I'll shoot you in a place I doubt you can live without."

"You wouldn't."

"Don't underestimate me," he coldly said. Then he surprised me when he pointed out that, "I trusted you, and you betrayed me."

After that, he let the photos fall from his hand and he stood while still aiming his gun at me as I turned around. "What you did was no different than stabbing me in the heart."

"Was it?" I sarcastically asked, and he fired a warning shot at me when I reached for the hilt of my blade, and I bitterly admitted that, "I was unaware that you had one."

"After everything we'd been through," he evenly said, and then he quickly motioned his gun to urge me to, "Move away from the door." Then he smirked when I did as I was told, and he finished his original thought, "I thought you cared."

"You thought wrong," I vindictively told him, and then I inwardly shunned myself for saying something I didn't mean.

"All I want to know is what you thought about it."

"Thought about what?"

"Being with a woman," he clarified. "I want to know if you liked it."

"Did you?" I asked, and he tilted his head as if he considered the question before he threw his gun at me and angrily called me something in Wutian. Then the little tonberry told me that he paid for sex in Wall Market after the first time I slept with some grunt in Junon, and he admitted that it was with a woman. He even left the shirt he wore that night on the dresser for me to notice the lipstick on it, but apparently, I was too self absorbed to notice.

"You're a vicious son of a rapist," I bitterly needled, knowing it would light a fire between us before I pointed out that, "You constantly do this… You constantly act like a desirable... human being, and then you turn into some kind of ugly... _monster_ without warning. To answer your question… No. I didn't like it. They all lacked the passion you hide under that rigid, life-sucking persona of yours."

From there, I'm not really sure what happened. I know he smacked me, hard enough for me to temporarily black out, but I'm not sure if he smacked me with his hand or with an object. All I really know was that it was hard enough that I didn't feel it at first.

Then, somewhere in between the name-calling and me pinning him down to protect myself, and him from me, something I didn't expect happened. I think I told him that I never loved anyone as much as I loved him, and I'm almost sure he said something similar, along with him saying it was the reason he hated me as much as he did. Somehow, everything in his life was perfect and under control until I came along and turned him into a weak-minded tool.

I think we also made a pact.

It was something along the lines that if I ever did something like that to him again, he wouldn't hesitate to make us even, and the next time, he'd make damned sure that it didn't go unnoticed. "Unlike the last time," he hissed while my mouth was latched to his neck and he was tearing off the straps across my chest.

There was nothing passive about his actions, but his angry kiss seemed more wanting than demanding.

So, I responded.

And, "Ah!" he cried out while I apologized for being rough, over and over until we both calmed down and went with whatever took over us.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered into his ear from behind, between gentle kisses and gentle pettings and motions on the living room floor, and I did my best to ignore the nagging voice inside my head that kept telling me, _"You should kill him, Sephiroth… Kill him now… Spare him the pain of what you're responsible for…"_


	16. Finding a Way

**Finding a Way**

* * *

><p><strong>I realize this was a long wait for this one and I would like to apologize. Don't worry though. I said I would finish this and I meant it :)<strong>

* * *

><p>Each step that Genesis takes is careful and guarded as he walks quietly through the deep snow. His hand is ready near the hilt of his sword, and his vision is limited by the fiercely blowing snow.<p>

Storms in the area are common and unforgiving. The wind howls louder than the native creatures in the area and icy snow blasts through the air. It's the kind that stings, and Genesis holds his hand above his eyes to protect them as he peers into the white speckled greyness surrounding him.

If something is out there, he shows no sign of hearing or seeing it, and he continues to maneuver through dead streets that resemble hills of snow while periodically turning to check his back. Then finally, after traveling through a maze of ruins, abandoned homes, and buildings, he makes it to the parameter line and stares at the location buried under the snow.

At that point, nothing seems to have breeched it, and he carefully looks around and checks the ground to find nothing after digging his way to the line. From there, he follows the parameter and he keeps his guard up while considering that it might have been the storm or a wild creature that set the alarm off.

He's not the type to make assumptions though. Genesis, as erratic as he is and was, he was never one to ignore the possibilities. Out of all of us, he was the one that was the most thorough, and the most curious and determined.

He was the only one that ever questioned the orders Angeal and I blindly followed. He was the only one that sought answers. When Angeal openly suspected, and I silently suspected, Genesis kept his silence and did his own research without either of us ever knowing.

In retrospect, Genesis was the smart one. He was quiet about what he thought when it came to something he felt he needed proof for. He never told us about the research he was engulfed in and the answers he was slowly uncovering. Mostly, because he hadn't found any hard evidence to prove anything one way or another, and he undoubtedly suspected that Angeal and I wouldn't have listened to him anyway.

Sadly, he was probably right.

As a result, he kept things to himself while his moods grew darker, angrier, and more determined. Angeal grew confused and concerned about him, and I grew distant and aloof, avoiding everything I didn't understand for the sake of what I thought was sanity. I was unable to understand his erratic behaviour and I emotionally withdrew from him.

Tseng, on the other hand, silently dealt with accusations that neither Angeal nor I knew of. He dealt with Genesis' demands for answers, and he dealt with threats over something he knew nothing about.

Genesis was positive he knew something though. Tseng was a Turk. The Turks were Shinra's lapdogs, and Genesis wouldn't drop it while growing more aggressive towards a man that he wanted to hate more than he loved, and the result began twisting his mind.

Angeal and I thought Genesis' threats and quiet confrontations with Tseng had something to do with the relationship they had. We knew he loved Tseng one day, and then hated him the next. We assumed it was jealousy, hurt, an act of dominance, or a combination of the parts or the whole of the sum.

Sadly, neither of us knew the truth, and Tseng never said a word about it. He only grew more distant and quiet, and a little bit darker himself.

My guess is that he was trying to figure it out as well. If I knew him as well as I like to think I did, Genesis' questions and accusations were feeding Tseng's growing doubts.

None of it matters much anymore. We all learned more than we wanted to in the end. We all got the answers to the questions we refrained from asking, and Genesis gained the knowledge he sought.

Like everything costly though, there was a price for him, and as he continues along the parameter, he finally finds the breach he was looking for. One of the lines is broken, but there is nothing nearby that could have fallen on it.

Upon closer inspection, Genesis scrutinizes the break and picks the near invisible wire up to study it closer. It's a clean cut, appearing deliberate, and as he turns the wire in his hand and picks the other end from the ground, his jaw tightens and his eyes narrow.

"A blade…" he mumbles, barely audible against the howling wind. Then his eyes grow dark and he lets the lines fall to the ground as if they're no longer important as he studies his surroundings.

If there were any footprints, they were quickly buried by the fierce wind and the plump flakes of snow falling from the unforgiving skies. He still studies the ground though, looking for areas that are shallower than others while the pupils in his eyes begin to narrow like a cat's.

"I can smell you," he darkly whispers. It comes out like a feral-sounding purr. "But these winds mask your direction well."

"I'm having the same problem," comes a voice from the greyness behind him, and Genesis' hand tenses near the hilt of his blade with a reflex faster than the eye can see. Then without warning, his sword crashes down upon steel that matches his own speed and strength, and he's greeted with an equally dark tone that informs him that, "Your scent is all over the damned place."

* * *

><p>Things were different between Tseng and I after that night. We fought less. We spent more time together, and we both made more of an effort to include each other in our plans.<p>

Things were pleasant, and I liked it. With every little thing he did to make an effort to step out of his shell, the more I was reminded of the man I caught a glimpse of back in Wutai.

I never saw him the same since then. For the first time, all of his weaknesses became strengths to me. He'd been through more than I was capable of imagining and he never used it as a crutch. It made him the type of man that wasn't willing to let anyone else take control of his life.

I finally understood why he appeared cold and dark at times, and it made him seem that much warmer and lighter. That frozen shell of his was thin as fresh ice, and behind that, there was something sweet, succulent, innocent, and frightened.

His sharp tongue made sense to me and I was able to interpret what he really meant when he'd say something angry or cruel, and when he'd say or do something antagonistic, I knew he didn't necessarily mean what he was saying. There was truth to it, but the interpretation of that truth suddenly seemed less brutal.

My nickname for him was no longer an insult as much as it was a pet name. 'My little tonberry' was no longer the heartless tonberry I once thought him to be, and he would smile and roll his eyes when I'd call him that in the admiring tone I often said it in. Though, there were still times where it referred to the infuriating monster he'd still turn into from time to time.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was a part of someone else's life and not struggling to be a part of it. I never thought about how desperately I'd been trying to make that happen since the day I first laid eyes on him. I never realized how alone I was, and I never understood what it was about him that made me feel like I was alone and needed him.

Maybe it was the part of him that I saw in Wutai. The way he was with his mother… Maybe I wanted someone to be that way with me. Maybe I sensed it inside of him, and maybe it frustrated me when he relentlessly hid that side of himself from me.

Either way, I finally understood, and there was no way I was going to trade it in for anything.

His stern, fatherly side, his disciplinary tone, his actions and his need for perfection, along with that crooked smile that let you know he was never really angry, completed me.

Unfortunately, some things never changed. I still had affairs when one or both of us was on a long mission. I knew he knew, but somewhere inside, he decided to ignore it, and to my knowledge, he never did get even like he said he would.

In a way, I believe I might have worn him out and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about that.

Did I break him? Or had he merely grown content?

Or worse, maybe he just didn't care anymore…

As a result of the latter, I found myself trying harder to keep him happy when we were together. I wound up spoiling him with everything he'd so much as glance at or suggest that he liked.

If he liked a car, he got that car. If he wanted two, I'd buy him two. An expensive suit, cufflinks, a custom gun… Nothing was too expensive for my little tonberry. I had more money than I knew what to do with, and he loved money and everything it could buy, and if that was all it took to keep him happy, I was more than willing to give it to him in droves.

Most of the time, he would roll his eyes at me and protest that, "I didn't mean for you to buy the damned thing… I was just saying that I liked it."

Yet, it never stopped him from driving those cars, or wearing the suit and cufflinks, or carrying his new gun…

He was careful about it though. To avoid questions, he never flashed his new toys around. He just kept them close, or he would tell his peers that his suit was a knockoff, but he liked it anyway.

Most of the time, I was within earshot when he'd talk about his gifts as if they were bought at a flea market and were nothing important, but it made me smile and I was finding that the more I smiled, the more I liked it.

As I said, things had changed. There was a time when he wouldn't accept a gift from me, and I suspected that he only started accepting them because it was his silent way of telling me that I owed him for the things he knew I was doing when he wasn't around.

"Mm… Nice mouthwash," he once said after kissing me and then giving me a dark look when I returned home from a long trip. Shortly after that, he happily accepted the gold watch I handed to him. He quirked his brow and gave me a quick glance that seemed cold, and then he put it on, smirked, and made himself a cup of tea.

It was a small price to pay for the guilt, I reasoned. Even his odd routine of making sure he wore whatever it was I pampered him with from that guilt whenever I came home, offered a strange sense of security.

He was finally living the life he always wanted, and I believe he got a little extra from watching me squirm, and most importantly, I got to keep him.

* * *

><p>There was one thing I never got used to though, and that was his job. I never knew what it was that he did, exactly. All I knew was that it was secretive, dangerous, and life-threatening at times.<p>

There were times he'd come home with injuries that would take days to heal; even months. It was never the same. Sometimes, it would be a bullet wound. Other times, broken bones, scratches, cuts, scrapes, burns… and there was that strange headache he could never seem to get rid of.

I began to notice he was drinking more elixirs than he used to, and I began to wonder if it was because of an ache he couldn't get rid of or if it had something to do with the alcohol content in them.

Then I began to wonder if I was the reason for his need to dull his mind and his senses.

"Everything okay?" I asked him as I stood behind him in the bathroom. We'd both just awakened and the first thing he did was go to the bathroom, grab an elixir from the cabinet, and finish it off with one gulp.

He merely nodded and tossed the bottle into the garbage while I placed my arm around him and rested my head on his shoulder so I could get a better look at him through the reflection.

"You've been drinking a lot of those lately."

"I know," he said, and then he rubbed at his temple and quirked his brow. "I think that blow to my head was more serious than I thought it was."

"What blow?" I asked, taking on a look of concern while he shrugged and grabbed his shaving cream.

"It was a while back… I was on a job," he answered. I could only assume he wasn't allowed to tell me anything more and he placed the cream back on the counter and grabbed his razor. "Things got serious. I got hit, and my head still hurts."

"Just like that…" I commented, fighting to keep my clenching jaw to myself while I grabbed his razor and offered, "Allow me…"

Then I waited for him to lather his face and he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Why didn't you see a doctor?"

"If I saw a doctor," he said as I ran the razor slowly along his cheek, "Hojo would have been the first to butt in."

"Right…" I disdainfully agreed as I wiped the blade on the towel and brought it back to his face, "And you don't want that."

"I can't stand that man," he tiredly said, and I nodded. "You know that."

"I do," I admitted as I dragged the blade down his neck and darkly stared at him through the reflection in the mirror and thought of how easy it would be to slit his throat for no good reason. His eyes were closed, and I felt like he trusted me too much. "But that doesn't change the fact that you should have probably had it checked out. It could be serious."

"I'm fine."

"Are you?" I whispered in a challenging tone while I brushed my lips along his ear and he shuddered and smiled. His eyes were still closed and I slowly ran the blade down the centre of his neck.

"It's just a headache, Seph," he argued back, and then he let his head fall farther back so that I had better access to the tender underside of his jaw. "If anything, it was probably just a concussion."

"You say that like it's nothing."

"It is nothing."

"Not if you've had more than one," I steadily purred, trying not to let the anger come through in my tone. "From what I understand, each one is more dangerous than the previous one." Then he pushed my hand away by the wrist and turned so he was facing me and snorted.

"So, you're an expert now?" He sarcastically asked. Then he tried to squirm away and I stopped him.

"I'm not done."

"I think you are. That blade lingered in the same spot for longer than it needed to, and I'll be able to get it done faster if I do it myself."

"What?" I asked, dumfounded for a moment until I realized he was referring to my shaving technique, and I clarified that, "That's not what I'm talking about."

"Well, I think you're done with that topic too," he warned, and I leaned into him so that he couldn't move and my mouth was against his ear.

"I can take care of you," I started as I wrapped my arm around his waist while trying not to squeeze the life out of him like I suddenly wanted to. "You don't need to keep risking your life for a faceless corporation that refuses to send its Soldiers into situations its Turks obviously can't handle."

"Don't flatter yourself, Seph," he sarcastically replied. "Shinra is well aware of who can handle what." Then he tried to push me away and failed, and when he concluded he wasn't going anywhere, he leaned to my ear and vindictively purred while tickling the back of my neck with a light touch that, "Everyone knows that Soldiers are only good for _two_ things."

Needless to say, I knew better than to ask, mostly because I knew I didn't want to hear what he finished saying anyway…

"Fighting… and fucking."

"Fine," I grumbled as I released him and he smirked at me while grabbing the razor from my hand so he could finish shaving.

Then I sat on the edge of the tub and stared at him. I already tried to talk him into quitting before and it got me nowhere, and I knew better than to continue with what he just said. There were some things we both knew I didn't want to hear and he never hesitated to use it as a conversation stopper.

So, I silently sat there and watched him finish his morning ritual while he ignored me. The damage was done. I was the cause, and there was no way I was going to upset the quiet storm inside of him by allowing him to steer us back to the topic of who did what to whom.

* * *

><p>Most of our hiccups revolved around me wanting him to quit. It always seemed to turn itself into the fact that I had no respect for him and made him feel like a fool, and then it would lead me to turn the topic to him and Genesis.<p>

It always seemed to end the argument, and since neither of them ever said anything about what happened between them, I never understood why it worked. All I knew was that it was the only ammunition I had to end a fight I knew I had no way of winning even though I usually tried to avoid going in that direction.

Regardless, it generally ended in us making up after hours of stewing over it.

His anger was a mystery to me at one time. I never understood where it came from or why it would appear to come from nowhere, but the more I came to know him, the more I understood it.

Part of it had to do with his frustration over the part of his life he had no control over. The other part would rear its ugly head if he felt cornered or caged. Any conversation that came across as a threat to the choices he made, or to his comfort, would release what I called the 'tonberry inside him.'

It was a vicious, angry, violent, and miserable side that I strangely found amusing. At the same time, I hated it. It was deceptive, cruel, and dangerous. He had a darkness that would come out in his eyes. It was a look that let you know something was off, but at the same time, he appeared dangerously desirable.

I never really knew what I liked about it other than the fact that it often lead to a volatile outburst that could go off like a stick of unstable dynamite, but it often lead to something rewarding as much as it was damaging.

* * *

><p>It was a little known fact, as far as I knew, that Tseng's angry passion could express itself in ways that could blow your mind when he allowed himself to channel it in creative ways.<p>

There were also little tricks I'd learned along the way. Small kisses behind the ear, promises of retreating alone together in an exotic location, or a simple massage would melt the man into a puddle of warm butter. He liked being pampered and spoiled, but he couldn't handle being held onto or cuddled with for long periods of time.

He said it made him feel like I was trying to suffocate him, but I think it had something more to do with the lack of control he probably felt by being what he would call, 'constrained.'

It was fine by me. If he didn't like it, I didn't do it, unless I was doing it on purpose to ignite the sparks that were so easily ignited at times.

Other than that, everything seemed to be going so well between us that I decided it was a safe bet to do something special for his birthday, and I made my way to the Items Shop that morning to make sure everything would be done on time.

* * *

><p>"That's a strange gift," the man at the counter told me, and all I said was, "Can you do it or not?"<p>

"Sure," he replied. "I just have to gut the thing and use a bit of lacquer… I can even give you a deal if you let me keep the components."

"I'm not concerned about the money," I told him. Then I thought twice about it and told him he could keep the components for his troubles.

"Ya sure?" he asked as he held it up and studied it. "It's an authentic Wutian relic… More than a hundred years old. I wouldn't feel right just taking it."

"It doesn't work."

"I can fix it. Ya sure your friend wouldn't prefer having it restored instead of gutted?"

"Just do it."

"All right…" he hesitantly said as he held it up and studied the intricate carvings on the silver encasement. "I sure hope you're right about this… There are people out there that would kill for an object like this."

"Not this one," I muttered as I reflected on Tseng's hatred towards his own heritage and walked out, partially wondering if he was right and if I was doing the wrong thing.

"Well… tell ya what… I'll hang onto the pieces for about a week… just in case ya change your mind!" he yelled as the door behind me slowly closed and I paused for a moment. I had a strange knot in my gut, as if I were anxious about something, but since I didn't really know what being anxious felt like, I couldn't really say if that was what it was.

* * *

><p>"Tread lightly, Sephiroth," Angeal muttered into my ear as I walked by him in the halls of Shinra, "your Turk is in a baaad mood."<p>

"What?" I asked as Angeal continued walking as if he never said a thing, and then I knitted my brows and took a deep breath while wondering, _What now…?_

Then I walked by Tseng's office to see papers scattered all over his desk as if he were frantically looking for something, but he wasn't there. When I tried to guess what had been going on as I quickly glanced around his office for clues, I suddenly fixated on a photo of a young, brown-haired girl with large green eyes. It was on the floor as if it fell from his desk, and an uncontrollable hatred started to grow as I continued to stare at the image.

Tseng called her Aerith, I recalled. For some reason, I wanted to kill her and make her suffer more than I wanted to kill Tseng at times, and I had no idea why. I never met her, and I never spoke to her. She never did anything to me or anyone that I knew. She was no threat to me, not even as far as Tseng's wandering eyes were concerned since she was close to the same age his daughter would have been; maybe a couple of years older, but not old enough to steal his attention from me.

I understood why he liked her and was comfortable around her. I also knew there was something else about her too. It was the reason Shinra had such an uncommon interest in the girl. I just didn't know what the reason was for it.

What I did know was that they had turks watching her day and night. Tseng was one of them. I also knew he was the one Shinra seemed to favour when they placed her under surveillance. Rumours suggested that Shinra had even taken her into custody on more than one occasion. Though, the people in the slums referred to it as, 'kidnapping the poor girl for no reason.'

She also brought something out in me—something dangerous. No matter how much I tried to resist it, the mere thought of her brought out a loathing and a strong feeling of disgust. There were times that I even wanted to eradicate Tseng simply for exposing himself to whatever it was this girl emanated.

At times, her mere presence made me want to scrub the flesh from Tseng's bones just to decontaminate him from the gross filth she represented.

Why though, I had no idea.

Despite the fact that she was sickeningly sweet and that Tseng walked as though he were floating on air whenever he'd spent time with her, I couldn't see anything logically wrong with her. As I pondered that thought while standing outside of his office, unknowingly glaring at a photo with a look that may have disturbed some onlookers, I finally understood why Angeal told me to tread lightly when I heard Tseng angrily protesting about something down the hall.

"You had no right to take her from her home!" Tseng yelled as I saw him storm out of the main lab on his floor. "There's no way you're going to learn anything from her this way!"

"Tseng, we appreciate your progress," Lazard said as he walked behind Tseng with a look that stated he agreed with Tseng, "Unfortunately—"

"We're running out of time!" Hojo interrupted before the President agreed and Tseng spun around with a handful of papers clenched in his fist while angrily waving them at the others and stating in disgust that, "This is _sick_!"

Hojo's eyes lit up for an instant while a sickly smile spread across his thin lips before he offered in an insincerely sweet tone that, "You're reacting over nothing. The studies we're doing are completely harmless… Perhaps I could offer you something to help calm your nerves?"

"There is _nothing_ harmless about _anything_ you do," Tseng angrily confronted through his teeth, and the President took a deep breath that made his chest grow larger. Lazard shifted his eyes and uncomfortably adjusted his glasses, and Hojo's smile grew broader as if he were a hungry predator sighting his next prey.

It didn't go unnoticed by Tseng and he physically took a step back as if there was something about Hojo's demeanour that made him uncomfortable.

Then he spat out at Hojo to, "Keep your damned _'nerve-calming_' drugs to yourself!" and he spun around, angrily marched toward me, and violently pushed me out of his way before he stormed into his office and slammed the door hard enough to make the windows vibrate.

It was at that moment that I decided to take Angeal's advice. Disturbing him after his inner tonberry had taken over was never a good idea.

"Sorry you had to witness that, Sephiroth," the President apologized as I glanced around after being pushed for no other reason than the fact that I was in someone's way.

"Oh, I'm sure he's witnessed that Wutian temper before," Hojo softly sung out as he continued to smile while turning back to his lab and softly giggled to himself.

Lazard and the President merely shared an uncomfortable moment before they decided to nod at me and then they walked away while the President quietly told Lazard that, "If all goes well, he'll do what he did last time."

"Perhaps," Lazard reluctantly agreed.

"It worked wonders for gaining her confidence," the President said as they reached the boardroom doors and Lazard uneasily glanced my way before they entered the room. "They're practically best friends now."

Every day, it seemed something became known that made the foundations of my world crumble a little. Sometimes, it seemed like we were all nothing but pawns. There were secrets in the halls of Shinra. People were played with and manipulated for reasons that were never clear. There were disagreements over things that never made sense, and the best way for me to deal with it was to tell myself that it wasn't my business.

I was sure they had their reasons, but it didn't change the fact that I was the one that was going to have to quell the fire in my little tonberry when he came home at the end of the day.

Only this time, I couldn't help but wonder what it was that he did the last time, and what it was the President was hoping he would do this time, and why they were playing him the way that they were.

Regardless, I decided to stay away from Tseng for the rest of the day since he was in a bad mood and it was best if I wasn't too friendly with him in front of others when he was like that.

* * *

><p>In a way, I hoped the events that day would only make my own plans for the evening more special.<p>

After I picked up the item the merchant put together for me, I rushed home to make sure I was the first one there. When I confirmed I was the only one home, I put his new gift into his tea jar, knowing it would be the first thing he'd go to after a stressful day, and then I took all my clothes off and sat on the couch with a book I started reading the day before.

It was mostly to pass the time with, and it was a good book.

The moment I heard his key enter the lock, I quickly put it down, put my feet on the table, and placed my hands behind my head so that I was completely exposed while I seductively said, "Happy birthday… My sour little tonberry."

"Leviathan…" he muttered the moment he set his eyes on me and quickly looked away, "I'm really not in the mood."

Then he took off his blazer and started loosening his tie.

"You never are," I playfully responded, taking satisfaction in the smile I knew he was hiding and hoping I was slowly breaking him.

"Go put some clothes on," he told me in a passively chastising way while he removed the tie and put his blazer in the closet. "What if I didn't come home alone?"

"I'll start taking that into consideration the day you start bringing people home with you," I cockily responded, and he sighed. "Besides, it's your birthday; you deserve a little eye candy," I told him while quirking my brow twice as a way to emphasize, "it's everything you'd ever hoped and dreamed for."

"That's not… really… what I was hoping for," he reluctantly said while losing his composure and allowing himself to crack slightly. Then he sat on the couch and grabbed my open book so that he could cover my mid-region with it while he wryly smiled and said, "Nice try, though."

"You're hurting my feelings."

"You don't know what feelings are," he responded as he leaned over and quickly pecked me on the corner of the mouth, and I inwardly smiled.

After that, he got up and undid the top buttons to his shirt while he walked to the bedroom and hung his tie. "You know… if you were sitting there with a fresh cup of tea for me, you might have been a little more appetizing."

"I thought about it," I playfully lied, "but then I worried about spilling it on little Seph."

"You're a pig," he breathed out as he emerged with his shirt half undone and his sleeves unbuttoned. He looked so casually loose as he crookedly smiled at me and my book popped up like a tent.

"Leviathan, Seph," he laughed, "you're also the most inappropriate man I've ever known."

"I do it for you," I said, while thinking about how much I'd love to be doing it to him, but he wasn't an easy one to break.

So, I patiently picked my book up and started reading it again while smirking at the disapproving glance and breath he took as he walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

"Seriously," he muttered as he grabbed his favourite cup from the cupboard and sat it on the counter, "you're not going to get anywhere with me tonight… You might as well put your clothes back on."

"I'm comfortable," I responded while I casually flipped to the next page and felt a strange flutter in my chest when I heard him grab the jar for his tea.

I suddenly started reconsidering my decision again and I wondered whether the merchant at the Items Shop was right. Maybe I didn't think the surprise through well enough. Maybe what I thought was a good idea was going to offend him.

As a result I unintentionally held my breath and my mid-region fell flaccid when he opened the tin and asked, "What's my mother's old watch doing in here?"

"I don't know," I evenly said as I imagined him slowly pulling the pocket-watch out of the tin by the chain. At the same time, I tried my best not to let the beating sound of my heart be heard as I uneasily flipped to the next page without remembering whether I'd finished reading the previous one.

"Leviathan…" he muttered when he opened it and fell backwards into the chair as if he'd lost the control of his legs, and I silently cursed at myself.

It was a mistake… I should have listened to the merchant… I never should have done what I did.

_Stupid!_

"What were you thinking?" he whispered. He almost sounded like he was choking, and I dropped my book on the floor when I rushed to the kitchen to apologize, but he acted like he didn't notice me kneeling in front of him while I quietly said, "I wasn't thinking."

He was staring at the picture in the watch as if he couldn't tear his eyes away from it, and shaking his head to say he heard me.

"No…" he finally choked out while he kept his hand over his mouth and turned his eyes to me. They looked tired and red all the sudden, and somewhat watery. "You were thinking," he said as he slowly closed the case and leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine.

"Like always…"

"I can take it back and get it fixed," I meekly told him. "It's not too late."

"You really are a dumb soldier," he muttered as he put his arms around me, somewhat tightly. "This is the most thoughtful thing you've ever done for me."

The next thing that happened was exactly what he said wouldn't happen, but in my defence, he started it; he was the one that kissed me first.

* * *

><p>That night, after we skipped dinner and exhausted ourselves in the bedroom, I hung onto him while he kept his back to me. He said nothing and stared at the locket I had the merchant make from his mother's watch.<p>

I had a photo copied. It was one he always kept nearby and it was a challenge to get my hands on it for as long as I'd need it. He would often look at it when he became moody and quiet. Sometimes, he'd turn to it after being around other families with children for long periods, but over the years, the photo became worn and faded.

I thought it was a good idea to have it restored and protected so that he could turn to it without ever worrying about how much longer it was going to last. It was all he had left of his daughter. It didn't matter that I didn't fully understand his need for it. It only mattered that it meant as much as it did to him.

It wasn't my intention to stir unwanted memories when I gave it to him. I just wanted him to be happy, despite how unhappy his memories of her made him.

It was ironic. That was all I understood about it, and as I kissed the back of his neck while staying inside of him, I took comfort in the sound of his beating heart and his even breath. The serenity in his relaxed features emphasized the shine and euphoric gaze in his eyes, which made me wonder if he was only staring in the locket's general direction rather than at it.

That strange lull had overtaken me again. It always did when I was with him, and if I were certain, I'd go so far as to say that it became stronger over the years. It was like I was floating. Every organ in my body became detached and joined on some other level. Every particle of existence was visible and heard so much that…

I finally became brave enough to modestly ask him, "Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?" he tiredly breathed out while I closed my eyes and nuzzled my nose into the back of his neck.

I wasn't sure how to explain the strange sensations that made me feel like I'd merged with him on another level; I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear him say that I was alone in this other dimension I thought I shared with him, and as I subtly pressed into him and tickled the hairs on his neck with the tip of my nose, he took away my fears by asking, "That strange feeling of intoxication?"

"Is that what you call it?"

"I don't know what else to compare it to," he quietly confessed. Then he let out a deep breath and muttered, "I assumed it was a Soldier thing."

"A Soldier thing?"

After a moment of silence, he hesitantly confessed that he'd never been with a soldier until he met me. He assumed it had something to do with our genetic enhancements, which lead me to the next question that probably would have been best left unasked.

"So…" I hesitantly started as I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist as if I were suddenly insecure, "You felt it with Genesis too?"

"Yes," he confessed, and I closed my eyes while asking myself why I thought I wanted to hear it. Until that moment, it was special, and now… it was just tainted. "Though, to be honest, I had no idea you guys felt it too… I thought it was just a normal thing."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I muttered as I slowly pulled away and turned onto my back so that I could silently sulk while blankly staring at the ceiling.

"Then why did you start the conversation?" he asked as he turned to face me and propped himself up on his elbow, and I shrugged as an answer. "Leviathan… Seph… If I knew you were going to sulk over it, I… Never mind… I should have known better," he grumbled as he got out of bed and walked to the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for my robe," he answered, suddenly sounding agitated as he fiddled with the sleeves and quickly put it on, "And if it makes you feel any better, it wasn't exactly the same with Genesis."

"Oh…" I mumbled as he slid his slippers on. "So… was it better then?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Then why did you start it?" I sarcastically asked while reflecting on the fact that I might have been the one who started it. Oddly, there was a strange pride in knowing that for once, I was the one that got under his skin first.

Unfortunately, there was a part of me that also regretted it, and as he got to the door, he viciously spat out that, "It was more intense with him."

"Oh…" I muttered. Then I let out a heavy sigh and wondered how we went from something so precious to something so undesirable in a matter of seconds while he grumbled about it having something to do with him getting sick afterwards with Genesis.

It was why Genesis took him to Hollander that night.

Then he had a change of heart and spun back around to look down at me from the doorway while trying to prove a point by saying, "I suppose it was the same for you with all those other… _non-Soldier's_ you _still_ sleep with."

"No," I emptily responded. Despite that I didn't like the fact that he brought it up, my lack of hesitation had to do with the fact that it was the truth. Then I breathed out, barely above a whisper that, "You're the only one that messes with my head."

After that, I sat up and leaned forward while he glared daggers at me. I think he was trying to search for something to say, but he eventually gave up and left the room, and I let out a heavy sigh and reached for the locket I gave to him so that I could have something to ponder.

I wanted something perfect with him. I didn't want to screw things up or give up on it, but sometimes, I had no idea how to go about it when so much damage had already been done and was still being done.

Worse, neither of us had an easy time when it came to letting things go.

* * *

><p>"So… what happened after that?"<p>

"He made dinner and I got out of bed," I told Angeal the next evening. He'd always been a good listener, and being with Tseng lead me to realize I needed someone to talk to on occasion. "Then we sat down and quietly ate together."

"That doesn't sound like that bad of an argument," Angeal confessed. "You guys have done worse."

"That's the problem," I admitted as Angeal came back to the sofa with two glasses of water and sat down.

"I'm confused," he said as he handed me one of the glasses.

His home was a modest home, I noted as I looked around while trying to find a way to explain myself. Nothing hung on the walls. His furniture was mostly odds and ends. The only decorations he displayed were medals, which were placed loosely in a display case Genesis talked him into buying over a year before.

When Angeal told him he didn't need it, Genesis argued that he wouldn't need to clean or polish them as much if they were in a protected environment, and knowing Angeal, the only reason he finally bought it was because a 'protected environment' was about the only thing Genesis said that made sense to him.

Regardless, after giving it some thought, I realized that our small argument was a problem because it was a remaining thorn in our relationship that wouldn't go away. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of the events that lead us to where we were at that point, but I couldn't seem to control myself and our arguments constantly lead me to wonder if that was the direction we would always be heading in.

With a heavy sigh, I dug into my coat pocket and fiddled with a key while Angeal patiently waited for my response, and I confessed as I pulled it out and looked at it.

"The happiest I've seen Tseng recently, was when he was investigating those reports from Costa Del Sol."

"He seemed like a different person," Angeal admitted, and I nodded.

"Maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe it was nothing," I openly thought, "but it got me thinking."

"About?" Angeal asked after he took a sip.

"All I want is to make him happy, but every time I try, I manage to turn it around by doing or saying the wrong thing," I admitted as I sat back. "I just… want it to stop."

"I get that," Angeal admitted. "Sort of… It must be hard trying to hang on to someone that doesn't want to commit."

"Or someone that doesn't notice you," I said, suddenly side-glancing at Angeal and wondering if he was capable of understanding something he'd never been exposed to, assuming he'd never been exposed to it.

"He notices you," he said. Then he took a drink and I tilted my head while studying him.

"I wasn't talking about Tseng," I admitted, "or me."

"Now I'm confused again."

"Never mind," I said as I let out a heavy sigh and glanced at the display case. All I knew was that Angeal would do anything for Genesis, and Genesis never seemed to notice. Sometimes, it made me wonder, and I turned my attention back to the key and told him, "I bought some property in Costa Del Sol."

"Sounds like a good investment."

"Not really," I admitted. "It's run-down, not close to anything, and there's no electricity or running water."

"So, why did you buy it?"

"It's private," I said as I kept my attention on the key and turned it, "and it's my last and only chance to be with him—only him." Then I sat back and closed my fist around it. "We need to be alone together, just the two of us… I think… We need to be away from everything that gets in the way."

"Well," Angeal hesitantly started, "as long as this isn't another attempt to try to talk him into quitting his job and running away with you to some unknown land where the two of you can live out the remainder of your lonely lives together, it might work."

"Lonely…" was the only word I fixated on as I brought my thumb to my mouth and ran the nail across my lips and set my attention on Angeal. "You think I'm making a mistake?"

"No," Angeal said as he set his glass on the coffee table. "I'm just not sure how you're going to persuade him to go on a vacation with you. I'm not trying to burst your bubble, but I think you've told me enough about him to know that he's not going to budge. The way you've put it, he'll be too afraid that people will talk, especially if the two of you go on vacation at the same time."

"I have that part worked out," I told him, peeking his curiosity over the fact that I already thought that far ahead.

Tseng lied. It was in his nature. All I had to do was persuade him to book an additional week or two the next time he went to visit his mother in Wutai. He could say she was sick or whatever it was that made him feel better about it. During those additional weeks, I would go to Costa Del Sol and wait for him.

Basically, if I told him I had a surprise, his curiosity would be peeked and he wouldn't be able to resist, that was also in his nature, "…And by that time, I'll have the place fixed up, the well should be ready, and the gardens will be planted."

"Gardens?" Angeal said as he sat forward in surprise. "Wow, you're really going all out on this one."

"It's something I need to do," I told him. There was something nagging at me in the back of my mind that kept telling me I was running out of time, and part of me strongly felt that, "I need to make this one count."

* * *

><p>That evening was an ordinary evening like most evenings. I came onto Tseng and was rejected. It wasn't because he was still mad at me though. It was because he had the lowest sex drive I'd ever had the displeasure of being exposed to.<p>

I used to believe it was because he didn't feel the same way about me that I did for him, but over the years, I realized that he was practically impotent at times for reasons that had nothing to do with me.

So, we sat on the sofa like ordinary people. We were both a little bored because there was nothing on the television and we couldn't think of anything else to do. Well, I could, but he wasn't going for that.

He was a little haggard-looking that evening too, and he seemed like he wanted to talk about something but he wasn't saying anything. There was a couple of hairs that were sticking out around his temple, which was unusual, but oddly cute and attractive. So, I said nothing in hopes that it would stay that way for a while. He also seemed anxious about everything right down to the part where he felt like his tea wasn't brewing fast enough.

Me, on the other hand, I decided to relax and read a book, and I casually flipped to the next page while Tseng grabbed his tea from the kitchen counter and mumbled something I couldn't make out. It was probably more because I wasn't really listening to him more than he was mumbling though.

Then he was a little louder, but not angry when I finally realized he was asking me why I kept reading the same book when he commented that, "I thought you finished reading that book."

"I did," I muttered before he said something else I wasn't paying attention to because I was reading, and he sat beside me, took a sip of his tea, and placed it down and I offered my reason for reading it more than once. "It's tragic and alluring."

Then I flipped to the next page while Tseng quirked his brow and smirked at me before mockingly asking me, "Alluring?" and I nodded.

"Like you," I said, knowing that I was probably sounding more like Genesis at that moment, but I wasn't too concerned about it. It was the truth, and I already knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with him so there was no harm in playfully flirting with him anyway. Particularly since there was always a small window of hope.

Maybe he'd finally calmed down from whatever happened that day, or maybe it was the fact that he finally had his tea, but he seemed a bit more relaxed when he commented, "Speaking of tragic…" and he pulled the elastic out of his hair and ran his fingers through it to loosen it up, making my mid-region tingle a bit while I watched his black hair fall and frame his pale face through the corner of my eye.

I never really knew if he knew how attractive he was when he let his hair down and messed it up a little, and it was one of those things I kept to myself for fear that the knowledge would stop him from ever doing it again, since he was such a stiff little prick most of the time. Then he finished his sentence after his hair settled and I shifted in my seat to make my pants a little bit looser.

"We found the bodies—"

"I thought you weren't allowed to discuss classified information," I said, suddenly cutting him off. Not once, could I recall him ever talking about work unless we were working together, and I had to admit, my curiosity was suddenly peeked. So, I had to be sure.

"It's been discovered by the media," he casually answered, and we both knew that once the media got involved, we could say whatever we wanted to say. It didn't matter whether it was truth or lies, but the truth was that even once the media got ahold of a story, we still never really spoke about it.

"I see," I muttered before I closed my book and let out a heavy sigh. Then I set my attention on Tseng's partially undone shirt. He had a nice chest and I think he might have noticed where my attention settled before I met his eyes and he looked at me with a small twinge of disapproval. So, I decided to keep him focused on the topic by asking, "What did they find?"

"Exactly what I suspected," he answered, and since we never spoke of work, I had no idea what it was that he suspected. In fact, I wasn't even sure what 'bodies' it was he was talking about, but it seemed like we were sharing a rare moment, and I didn't want to ruin it by being… me.

I did need a little clarification though. So, I had to ask, "Which was…?"

That was when he told me they were the victims of an experiment and he went into some strange kind of trance while he told me that he'd rather be dead than live through whatever it was they lived through. He told me no humanity was left in them and I inwardly shrunk, fearing that he was confessing something to me.

Maybe he knew whatever it was that Hojo was doing and had done to him. Maybe Hojo's experimental memory loss procedure wasn't as affective as he thought it was. Maybe Tseng knew more than I did, and maybe he was telling me something he didn't want to say and I didn't want to hear.

Or maybe I was just panicking as I tried to hide my concerns and crossed my ankle over my knee and put my arm around him to feign that I understood what he was saying or feeling. Then in hopes of getting away from the topic and lightening his sombre mood, I teasingly mused that, "I guess it's a good thing you already are a monster."

Part of me shuddered at my words, and another part of me shuddered when he said that he wouldn't want to live if he was no longer himself. I knew that he meant it, and I also knew that it didn't matter what happened to him or what he turned into if it were to ever come to that… I knew there was no way I could ever let him go.

Worst of all, I also knew that after spending the majority of my life with Hojo that death wasn't always what it seemed to be. It didn't have to become a state of permanence, and it didn't necessarily mean that one had to give into the Lifestream either.

_"It is believed that the essence can survive outside of the Lifestream and return… It can even hold others at its will…" Hojo once openly mused into his recorder when I was younger and he thought I wasn't listening. I doubt he even realized that I believed what he was saying._

So, I made the only promise I felt I could safely keep when I told him that, "I'll make sure it never happens."


	17. A Normal Life Would Have Nice

**A Normal Life… Would Have Been Nice**

* * *

><p>For a short while, the two men study each other with silent competition in their eyes. Their swords remain locked. Then both of them smirk at each other when they stand back, and Genesis mutters, "Weiss… I don't recall inviting you here."<p>

"I don't recall you telling me you were running from something," the white-haired male responds in an evenly low voice. It's a voice with a commanding tone, and he challenges Genesis with eyes of unnatural blue. They look like they were mako-enhanced at one time, but something made them brighter, almost like lights surrounded by a dark ring of a darker shade.

His white pants and black boots have a stripe of a similar shade and intensity that runs down the front of his legs. Both the stripes and his eyes appear strangely luminescent as he studies Genesis in a way that suggests he's amused by something.

"Hmph," Genesis snorts as he sheathes his sword and mutters, "It's not like you to jump to conclusions."

"I guess you were just trying to keep warm when you burned that cabin in the mountains down then, eh?" the other man insincerely assumes as he follows Genesis' lead and sheaths his own dual swords into their black encasements.

"I didn't see a use for it any more," Genesis casually states, and he motions for the other man to follow him. He leads him to a nearby dwelling that Genesis must have renovated some time ago.

There's a small cot with heavy wool blankets that looks used, a small wooden table with two worn out chairs, and a wood-burning stove that looks as if it was lit recently. The water in the pot on top of it is still giving off a small amount of steam, and Genesis' silent alarm system is lighting up his small home in the same, slow and steady pulses as it did in the lab where he left Tseng.

I can only assume that this is what Genesis does when he leaves Tseng alone for long periods of time. He has his own post, as modest as it is, and the man he called 'Weiss' takes a look around and snorts while brushing the heavy snow from his messy cut hair when he enters and quickly glances around.

"Not quite what I'd expect from you," he sarcastically observes as Genesis walks to a panel on the wall and flips a switch to turn the alarm off.

"Why's that?" Genesis asks as he removes his coat and Weiss walks to a pile of worn books by the side of the cot. He removes his own black, heavy coat to reveal a bare upper torso. He's fit to be a soldier. Then he sets his eyes on a worn book that's laying face down on the cot, as if to save the page, and he smirks again.

"I don't know…" he sarcastically replies as he waves his hand around the rustic room and smiles in amusement. "I guess it's just not what I recall your taste being geared towards."

"I guess being imprisoned in that hell you and your brother brought me to has taught me to accept the simpler things in life," Genesis evenly says. There's a hint of bitterness to his tone as he sits in a chair and kicks his feet onto the small wooden table. Then he tilts his chair back while folding his hands behind his head and he stares at the man like he's irritated by him.

"Yeah…" the white-haired man answers as he stares into space while facing the wooden stove and distantly mutters, "Well… It became our prison too."

"So sad…" Genesis insincerely sings out, and he grabs two apples from the burlap bag hanging on the wall behind his chair. He tosses one at Weiss. Then he states after the apple hits the man's back and falls to the floor as if it were unnoticed, "However, I vaguely recall something to do with you all volunteering yourselves to that project."

"Not _all_ of us," Weiss responds in a tone that sounds slightly angered, and he stares at the apple on the floor and snorts.

"Of course…" Genesis coyly purrs as his eyes narrow and he vindictively stares at the man's back, "Your _loving_ brother, and that… little girl… I believe she's still alive, isn't she?"

"You're a soulless bastard, Genesis," the man bitterly states, and he turns and stares down at Genesis as if he wants to harm him in some way.

"Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about that," Genesis tells him as if he's reminding him of something and then he motions his hand to the seat to offer it as a truce while their eyes burn into each other's with a hatred that burns deep.

"If only I could kill you…"

"But you can't," Genesis tells him while keeping his eyes locked to the other man's. "You, of all people, can never grant me that wish."

Then he smirks and takes a bite from his apple while motioning to the other chair again, and the man reluctantly turns it so he can straddle it. They sit across from each other and stare at each other. Weiss' luminescent eyes are full of hostility and bitterness, and Genesis seems to be enjoying it while he stares at him with an impish glow in his eyes and a broadening smile that appears cocky.

When Genesis gets near the end of the apple he appears to be enjoying more than usual, he starts the last bite and nearly chokes on it when the man takes a deep breath and mutters that, "Rumour has it, he's after a Turk."

"What?" Genesis chokes out as he hunches forward and the legs of his chair slam into the floor. He nearly loses control over his form and his eyes turn a bright green when he grabs at his chest and grimaces as he fights the loss of his composure.

"I can't track him," Weiss says. "He's all over the damned place and he never stops… he's out here. I know that much, but he's making it impossible to find him with such an erratic trail. He won't stay still and his direction changes on a daily basis. It's like he's looking for something and every time I think I'm close, I wind up on your trail."

"Like the cabin," Genesis lowly says after his throat strangely distorts and a lump crawls down his neck like a snake swallowing its food, and he suddenly stops choking.

"Yes," Weiss agrees. Then he leans closer in confidence and says, "If I can find this Turk—"

"I doubt that would work," Genesis snaps, cutting Weiss off in mid-sentence.

"You didn't let me finish."

"I don't need you to," Genesis says as his appearance grows darker. "You want to use the Turk as bait."

"Exactly."

"And then what?" Genesis asks, "How will you discard of him?"

"You're the one that told me I could discard of him however I please—that was part of _your_ bargain," Weiss reminds him.

"I meant the _Turk_," Genesis growls through his teeth. "How will you discard of _him_ when you're done?"

"I didn't say it was a man," Weiss casually answers as he sits back and hangs onto the back of the chair to keep himself balanced. His expression turns to one of suspicion as he carefully studies Genesis and muses that, "I'm also not certain why you care as much as you appear to."

"I don't," Genesis clearly says, still through his teeth, "and most Turks _were_ men. It's a normal assumption to make."

"Then why are you so irritated all the sudden?"

"Your presence irritates me," Genesis responds as he angrily stands and uses a Flame spell to light the wood stove while walking towards it. Then he opens it and grabs some wood from the pile nearby and adds it while explaining, "You told me I wouldn't see you again until you were done… You said you could finish it in no time… and here you are, over a year later… using words like _can't_ and _impossible_."

Then Genesis stands and brushes his hands on his pants before he closes the door to the stove and breathes out, "That _hardly_ sounds like the _Weiss_ I know."

After that, he smirks, snorts, and turns around to stare at the man like he's looking through him. "Perhaps, forcing you to live was a bad decision," he says, and he leans slightly forward in a challenging manner while lowering his voice to a vindictive tone. "Perhaps the loss of your _dear,_ _loving_, _brother_ has left you useless and unable to focus."

He ends his sentence with a knife at his throat. Weiss moved quickly, appearing impulsive as if he were pushed too far, and Genesis mockingly smiles at him and asks, "Did I hit a nerve?"

"There is no place for you in this world," Weiss lowly growls at him as he lets Genesis push his knife away. Then he angrily throws it at the wall where it stays put and he peers into Genesis' eyes with immeasurable contempt. "If you think it's so easy, why don't you do it yourself?"

"I have my own agenda," Genesis evenly answers, and Weiss snorts while quickly glancing at the makeshift kitchen behind Genesis before he returns his attention to him, somewhat suspiciously.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was you he was hunting," Weiss openly suspects as he tilts his head and studies Genesis closer, "or you're hiding something he wants." Then he steps back and snorts. "But neither of those theories make sense, considering that you're an indestructible freak of nature and you have no reason to run from anyone."

"Perhaps I choose to go out of my way to be alone," Genesis offers.

"That why you burned that cabin down?" Weiss asks as he swings down to grab the apple and returns to his seat while wiping it on his pants. "That makes no sense since no one would have known it ever existed if it wasn't for the smoke from the fire… seems like a perfect place to be alone in… unless… you set it on fire to hide something."

"It was time to leave."

"I see," Weiss muses as he pauses long enough to chew on the bite he took from the apple and swallows it. "I just find it a strange coincidence that you made that decision when he started investigating the caves that led to your quaint little cabin.

"Surely, you can see why I'm confused about the situation since it almost appears that he's hunting someone that could easily overpower him. You could even disappear back to that underground cave you used to hibernate in and remain undisturbed for the remainder of your existence if you really wanted to be left alone.

"Not only that, no matter what angle I look at it from, I can't seem to come up with a logical reason for you to burn the cabin down. Unless, of course, you were hiding something."

"I'm hiding nothing," Genesis calmly responds. "Perhaps, I simply decided I would like to live like a normal person for a change, and maybe, I just happen to enjoy burning things down when I'm done with them."

"I hardly call being a pyromaniac and living in a rundown shack in an abandoned town normal," Weiss laughs out as he stares at his apple and pauses long enough to take another bite. "Not to mention your elaborate system of trip wires surrounding the town… I'm just saying… it all kind of sparks my curiosity."

"Curiosity aside…" Genesis says as he smirks and stares at the pot of water on his stove, "It doesn't explain why you're here."

"Hmph," Weiss mutters and nods while still focussing on his apple. "Maybe I just wanted to check up on you… catch up on old times… see why you appear to be hiding something, or from something… you know… the usual bizarre notions you have a tendency to lead people to think…"

"If it's so _usual_," Genesis calmly says as he holds his hand over the steam rising from his pot and stares at it like he's in a trance, "I don't see why it would come across as bizarre."

"Everything you do and say is bizarre, Genesis," Weiss responds. Then he takes another bite, finishes his apple and tosses it into the pot of water on the stove. It causes Genesis to flinch from the unexpected splash. "I'd go so far as to say suspicious, even."

After that, he stands and walks over to his heavy woollen coat and picks it up while breathing out, "But I guess that's just you… It's what you do…. Anyway," he says as he puts his coat on, "now that I know you're just being your usual nonsensical sociopath for no logical reason, I suppose I should get on with my own business."

"The impossible business that you can't do?" Genesis asks in a taunting tone and Weiss walks to the door, stops, and stares at Genesis' back with narrowed eyes.

"Impossible will be taken out of the equation when I find that Turk," Weiss promises as he digs into his pocket and smirks while pulling something out, "I even have a picture to go by."

For a moment, he stares at the photo in his hand and rubs his thumb over it like he's feeling the image. "Of course," he says as he slowly lifts his eyes to Genesis and subtly smiles, "it's not like I never knew what Tseng looked like to begin with."

Then he broadly smiles and opens the door, "He was, after all, the same Turk you vengefully obsessed over, if I recall correctly."

"He's dead," Genesis mutters while keeping his back to him. He coldly stares at the apple core boiling in his water and numbly adds, "He was killed by an ex-Turk almost a year ago."

"Turks against Turks," Weiss responds, still looking at the photo and rubbing his thumb over the image like he's contemplating a hidden agenda.

"Things changed when Shinra fell," Genesis informs. Then he sighs. "The world we knew no longer exists."

"I've noticed," Weiss says as he opens the door and vicious winds blow enough snow through the opening to sprinkle the floor with a light covering. "But, given your _panache _for half-truths and your obsessive nature over that Turk," Weiss adds as he steps outside and bows to Genesis, "I'll come to my own conclusions."

Then he pulls the hood from his coat over his head and makes his way out of the town.

* * *

><p>"Full house," Tseng said as he slapped his cards on the table and greedily pulled a pile of poker chips into another large pile sitting beside him, and Reno grumbled that, "I don't fuckin believe this."<p>

It was an ordinary evening in Junon, and Tseng sat at a table in the recreation hall of the barracks with his usual crowd of friends. Rufus sat with them but hadn't played a hand all evening. He never played with them, and he shook his head at Tseng like he couldn't understand the man.

The dark Turk they called Rude was slowly sipping on a mug of beer while looking thankful that he didn't join in the last hand. After nearly losing everything in the one before that, he decided he would just watch.

He shaved his head since the last time I saw him and he started wearing a dark pair of sunglasses that hid his eyes, almost too well. Part of me assumed it was to get Reno off his back about being too cute to be intimidating, and he let out a heavy breath and stood while grabbing Reno's and an unfamiliar Turk's empty mug along with his own and walked to the bar for a refill

"I had a fuckin flush!" Reno protested as Tseng took a sip of his water and quirked his brow. "Ya fuckin bluffed me out of the last three hands—I thought I fuckin had ya this time!"

"Guess you thought wrong," Tseng indifferently suggested, and Rufus smirked in amusement.

"Na-na…" Reno started. "I wanna know how the fuck ya do it… Every time I think I got ya, ya fuck me up the ass."

With an unexpected snort from Rufus and a shake to Rude's head as he returned to the table with three fresh mugs of beer, Tseng calmly looked at Reno and asked, "Do you go out of your way to be obnoxious?"

"I like his obnoxious behaviour," Rufus coyly piped in as he eyed Reno like a tasty meal and then took a sip of his vodka like he never did or said anything. Reno sat silent for a moment like he suddenly didn't know which direction to go in while side-glancing at Rufus and the unfamiliar Turk with a slightly embarrassed blush before he quickly sneered.

Then he waved his hand dismissively at Rufus and returned to his argument. "Ya have no fuckin tell, Man."

"Sadly," Tseng said as he grabbed the cards and started shuffling, "you do."

"And ya ain't gonna tell me what it is, are ya?"

"Of course not," Tseng admitted. Then he laughed out that, "If I did that, you'd stop doing it."

"Guess I ain't as good at lyin as you then," Reno grumbled and Tseng shrugged it off. "I wanna know how ya do it," he said. "I wanna know how the fuck ya turn yer conscience off at the drop of a hat."

"Because he's perfect," Rufus offered as he flirtatiously smiled at Tseng and Tseng knitted his brows at him before curiously asking in a confidential tone as he pointed at Rufus' drink, "How many of those have you had?'

"Not enough," Rufus said as he almost got up and Tseng pulled him back into his seat and leaned forward.

"You're not having any more," Tseng warned as he grabbed Rufus' glass and took it to the bar where Angeal and I were standing. I couldn't help but notice how attentively Rufus watched him as he walked away.

When he reached the bar, he greeted me to make things look normal and he ordered a strong, black coffee while giving strict orders to the bartender not to serve, "Mr. Shinra any more alcohol for the evening. The new recruits are arriving tomorrow and he needs to be clear headed."

"No problem, Sir," the man behind the counter said, and I let out a small chuckle while taunting Tseng by repeating, "Sir?"

He rolled his eyes and wryly smiled while turning to face me. Then he nodded and casually asked how our days went.

We exchanged the usual small talk before I casually asked him, "What happened to that girl you were with earlier?"

"She called me a narcissist and a few other choice words, and then she threw a drink in my face," he answered. "I haven't heard from her since."

"Hmph," I snorted out in amusement, before I continued with our usual game of acting like we were nothing more than friends. "Looked like you two were on a date."

"We were," he casually answered as the bartender brought him the coffee and he pulled it closer to the edge. "The President felt we were a good match."

"So…" I said as I coyly smiled at him like I was enjoying the details, "He was wrong?"

"Apparently," Tseng casually said as he grabbed the coffee and motioned that he should return to his table. "I'll tell you the rest later."

It was the game he started playing when we got back together. To keep suspicions low, he would go on random dates with beautiful women and manage to screw it up somehow.

It bothered me at first, but when he threw my own misgivings back at me, I decided that he could have been doing worse things. So, I let it slide and reluctantly played along, and after a while, it became normal.

To the world, we were what he wanted everyone else to see us as. We were good friends who'd known each other for a long time. Our living arrangement simply worked and we never brought our lovers home with us out of respect for the other. We had our disagreements and agreements, and we learned to accept each other for who and what we were.

Everything else was private.

Even that night, when he knocked on the door to my Junon apartment and I answered it with a feeling of suspicion since I was under the impression he was going to hang out with his friends, he put on a show until the door was closed.

He had a key, but he never used it for fear that someone might see him and he didn't want to deal with the questions and rumours that might follow.

"I only have forty-five minutes," he quickly said before he planted his lips onto mine like a suckerfish and then invaded my mouth with his crazy tongue while quickly removing his jacket and tie, "and I wanna fuck your stupid brains out." Then he pushed me onto the couch, probably knowing that I wasn't going to say, 'no,' regardless of how 'stupid' my brains were, and he did most of the weird things he liked to do until we both laid stupidly on the sofa.

Later, I found out that they had a big evening planned and he told his friends he wanted to go back to his hotel—that was nowhere near my apartment—to freshen up. He was also late meeting with them again. His strange little attack wasn't entirely unheard of. Tseng did spontaneous things sometimes. It was just extremely rare, and I concluded that something must have gone extremely well for him that day.

Either that, or I'd finally gotten lucky enough to bring back that weird little passion he had when we first started seeing each other, which was doubtful.

* * *

><p>His moods were erratic for the next couple of weeks. He would go from dark, quiet, and sullen, to strangely active, social, and almost childish and playful. Part of me suspected it had something to do with the investigation that brought them to Junon, and the other part of me suspected that it was because he was in Junon.<p>

It might have had something to do with the fact that Junon was my second home and where I conducted the majority of my 'affairs', but I couldn't help but notice he seemed most bothered when he was around the new recruits.

"They're so young," he once murmured to Rufus as he swept his eyes over them like he was concerned. All Rufus did was shrug before commenting that, "They'll soon be old enough to teach a thing or two to."

I can only assume the look that followed had something to do with the perverted way in which Rufus spoke.

I wasn't sure how to interpret his reaction to Rufus though, considering that Tseng appeared to have an eye for one of them, himself. He was an attractive boy with striking black hair and piercing blue eyes, and he was exactly what suited Tseng's taste as far as the wild look was concerned. He showed promising potential, and he was ambitious and eager to become a first-class soldier.

Tseng watched him often, from afar, and as I stood beside him on my balcony, I couldn't help but want to appease my curiosity.

"If I didn't know any better," I started as I clasped my hands while resting my forearms on the balcony, "I'd say you've got a thing for that 'Fair' Soldier."

He paused for a moment. Then he looked at me like he was confused before he softly laughed out, "Zack?"

I shrugged and gave him that knowing look while he shook his head and returned his attention to the landing below.

"Goodness, no… Far too young for my taste."

"He amuses you," I pointed out.

"Yes," he admitted. "It's been a long time since I've seen a recruit with such…" For a moment, he waved his hand as if trying to magically reach for the right word before he finally spat out, "Flair," like he wasn't completely sure if he'd found the right word.

"Flair," I repeated. Then I reflected on how little the Soldier reminded me of someone else with 'flair,' and I couldn't see the resemblance between him and Genesis.

"I don't know how to explain it," he admitted and shrugged. "He just… reminds me of someone."

"Oh," I playfully said while nudging his forearm with my elbow and coyly smiling at him. "He reminds you of a past lover?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Seph," he grumbled as his expression turned irritated. "Unlike you, I don't view every male as a potential piece of meat."

Then he snorted and turned to me with a wry smirk on his face. "Though, I don't deny that he'll most likely grow into a very attractive man."

"One off limits," I quietly said. "I hope."

"No need to hope," Tseng distantly responded as he returned his attention to the landing. "I've been watching him." Then he shrugged and scrunched his shoulders as if he were trying to loosen a knot in them. "He's a genuine lady's man."

"Disappointed?" I playfully asked as I studied him and watched him carelessly quirk his brow when he answered, "No… I just like the way he interacts with such ease. He's so open… Everyone likes him, and he seems to like everyone…"

After that, he turned his full attention to me and distantly admitted, "I think I envy him."

Then he walked into my apartment and sat on the couch like he was bored all the sudden.

'Envy' wasn't a word I ever would have expected from Tseng. He was too proud to admit to a weakness such as that. Yet, there he was, suddenly admitting that he was jealous of a young, attractive, and charismatic soldier who kept no secrets, and I found myself standing there, staring at the back of his head and not knowing how to respond.

* * *

><p>In the days that followed, I found myself noticing Tseng's uncertainty when he was observing the boy. They'd never been introduced, and they'd never officially met. As a result, Tseng watched him from a distance as if it were a covert mission, and that was when I saw it in his eyes.<p>

He would softly smile at the boy's antics and naive reactions. Sometimes, he would hook his finger over his mouth and try not to laugh, but there was always something lost in his eyes. If it was 'envy', I wasn't sure. All I knew was that he looked at the boy the same way he looked at Aerith. He even watched him the same way, and all I could guess was that maybe, they represented the family Tseng wished he had.

A perfect son, a perfect daughter, and a perfect life…

Thinking about it now, I think it was the life he could never have that he envied; not the individuals that represented it, and sadly, there was nothing I could do about that.

* * *

><p>When he returned to Midgar, I took advantage of his absence by focussing my spare time on Costa Del Sol. I wanted to see him happy again, even if it was just for a few days or weeks, and as I sat at my small desk, I placed a mark on my calendar and placed a call to one of the contractors I'd hired.<p>

Then I stared at the marks I made on my calendar and flipped to the previous months and took a deep breath while staring at similar marks. I don't think Tseng ever knew, but each day I stayed faithful, I marked it as a reminder that I didn't need to be unfaithful.

It was my way of keeping myself in check, and as I flipped through the months, I felt comfortable with the idea that it might have been working. He was all I needed, I kept telling myself, and one day, he would feel secure and have enough faith in me to feel the same way.

Maybe if we were lucky, we could even forget about the hurtful things we'd done to each other, and as Angeal would mockingly say, we could live happily ever after.

Or maybe, it was just wishful thinking.

Regardless, I deeply sighed and closed the small calendar. Then I brushed my hair from my face and looked around my empty Junon apartment with a feeling of loss. It seemed emptier when he wasn't around, and I brushed away the nagging thoughts that led me to wonder if he felt the same in my absence.

He was cold on the outside, hard to read, and what he was on the inside would always be an enigma. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to fully understand him, or even know him, and judging from the reactions of his peers, I wasn't the only one that felt that way about him.

He was my beautiful tonberry; a thorn that injected itself so deep that it became a part of me, and whenever the dull pain it caused resurfaced, I found myself relishing in the belief that it would always be there.

* * *

><p>After a few more weeks in Junon, I was finally able to return home with the hopes that Tseng would also be home, and when I opened the apartment door and saw him sitting on the sofa, I caught myself smiling at him.<p>

Then I removed my coat and sat down beside him. I was still smiling, and he suspiciously side-glanced at me before reaching for his tea on the coffee table.

"I got you something," I coyly told him, and he quirked his brow.

"You haven't gotten me anything for a while," he cautiously answered. Then he sipped his tea and I caught a hint of cinnamon. "Should I be concerned?"

"No," I honestly answered, knowing that he knew most of my gifts were brought to him from guilt. Then I pulled out a small bottle from my pocket and he murmured with his lips on the rim of his cup, "More cologne," as if he were disappointed.

"No," I said again, looking at him seriously for a moment, and it caught his curious attention and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"What then?" he asked, still hiding the lower half of his face with his cup, and I reluctantly sighed while hoping I wasn't making a mistake.

Then I studied the bottle for a moment and leaned closer to him so I could stroke the hair at his temple while solemnly admitting, "Your headaches have me concerned."

"Leviathan," he grumbled and set his cup on the table while carelessly waving his hand at me, "it's nothing, Seph."

"Well," I started as I quickly glanced at him in disapproval before returning my attention to the bottle, "the man I spoke with said it might just be stress—"

"You were discussing my headaches with other people?" he asked as he sneered at me like he couldn't have been more offended, and I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Would you let me finish?"

"No!" he spat out as he grabbed his cup and walked to the kitchen like the obstinate little prick he was so good at being sometimes, and I followed and grabbed him when he went to put his cup on the counter.

The action caused him to knock his cup onto the floor because he was being too stubborn to let go of it and that gave him something else to add to his argument.

"Now look at what you did?" he demanded as he held his hands, palms up and arms straight to point out his cup as if it should have mattered. "You broke my cup!"

"There are five more just like it in the cupboard," I argued back and went so far as to open the cupboard to show him that it wasn't as big of a deal as he was making it out to be. Then I added while he angrily smacked the cupboard shut, "and it's no doubt your headaches are probably stress-related when you let idiotic things like that get to you."

He snorted at me like he couldn't believe what I just said, and when he went to open his mouth again, I grabbed him and pulled him onto my lap as I sat on the kitchen chair and told him to, "Loosen up."

"Loosen up," he grumbled back as I smiled behind him and worked my fingers into his shoulders. I wasn't going to let him get to me that time. I had a plan, and I was determined to see if it would work as I set the bottle on the table in his sight and tended to both his shoulders.

"Yesss," I purred into his ear. "My little tonberry needs to learn to relax."

"I don't need to relax," he argued back in an unconvincing tone before he let out a small gasp that betrayed him. Then he put his head forward and helplessly mumbled, "Right there…"

"Here?" I repeated as I applied more pressure near his neck and he softly moaned, and I smiled at how easy it was to tame him sometimes.

If only would work for our more serious arguments…

Then I moved down to his upper back and worked his shoulder blades. This caused him to change from a stiff board into a more agreeable form, and he looked at the bottle and picked it up to study it.

That caused me to smile again, and I placed a small kiss on the back of his neck while wondering why he always had to make everything so difficult.

"So…" he calmly muttered as he turned the bottle over and looked at the bottom, "Is this your way of telling me you don't trust me with elixirs any more?"

"I never did trust you with them," I playfully admitted as I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his waist. Then I rested my chin on his shoulder so I could see what he was doing.

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

"The man at the counter told me that you could dab it on your temples… the back of your neck… your forehead… wherever it's bothering you most."

"Hm," he muttered as he opened it and reacted to the scent in distaste. "It smells like perfume."

"It's lavender oil," I tiredly responded, wishing he would quit nit-picking at everything and just try something I suggested for once.

"Like the flower?" he asked while he screwed his mouth like he wasn't keen on it.

Then I breathed out my slight frustration with him and told him, "the man assured me it was a masculine scent… just try it?"

"It's oily," he grumbled as he dabbed a small amount on his finger and sneered.

"Just try it," I repeated as I lightly squeezed his waist for emphasis.

"It's going to leave oily marks wherever I put it, Seph," he argued.

"Then put it on the back of your neck."

"It's not the back of my neck that bothers me."

"That's it," I grumbled as I pushed him off my lap and grabbed the bottle from him while suggesting the first thing that came to mind. "Comb it through your hair for all I care… Just… try the damned thing!"

"Won't it make my hair greasy?" he asked as he stared at his broken cup and shook his head at it. "I really don't want to wander around all day looking like I haven't washed my hair."

Then he walked to the cupboard and grabbed a dust pan and a broom.

"Try it on a day off to test it out then."

"Leviathan," he muttered, as he swept the pieces into the pan and dumped it into the trash. "Why are you getting so worked up?"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I was just wondering what I'm supposed to do with it!" he angrily said to me as he snatched the bottle from my hand and then put the dustpan and broom away. Then he grimaced and rubbed at his temple while grumbling that, "I'll try the damned thing if it means that much to you!"

"Really?" I said to myself as he disappeared into the bedroom and I wondered if we'd just had a fight, or if we were fighting, or… something…?

* * *

><p>He took a long bath after that, and I was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to come out. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me for some reason, or if he was just taking his time. So, I wound up waiting in anticipation for him without really knowing why I was feeling so anxious.<p>

I thought about going in to see if he was all right, but part of me thought I shouldn't. As a result, I sat there with a book in my hand that I couldn't focus on because I kept staring at the bedroom door and wondering what he was doing.

Then I put the book down and walked into the bedroom so I could stare at the door to our bathroom. I mindlessly blinked and listened. When it seemed like nothing unusual was going on, I sat on the bed and waited there while suddenly noting a pleasant scent coming from the bathroom, and I subtly smiled to myself.

I had no idea how he was using my strange gift, but the scent of lavender that slowly filled the room suggested he was at least trying it.

When he finally emerged, I was sitting on my side of the bed. I was on top of the covers with my legs crossed and my arms folded across my chest. He was wearing his short bathrobe in standard white and towel-drying his hair, and he quirked his brow when he noticed me and asked, "How long was I in there?"

"Long enough," I answered as I looked at him and smirked.

Then he sighed and looked at his watch that he placed on top of the dresser and quirked his brow.

"Hm," he muttered to himself. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to disturb you," I said, knowing I was partially lying, and he suspiciously glanced at me before hanging his towel to dry.

After that, he sat on the bed beside me and the waft of lavender caught my attention again.

"You tried it?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Put it in the bath," he calmly said as I leaned over him so I could kiss his neck while deeply inhaling the scent. It was everywhere on his body.

"That wasn't so bad then," I murmured, and I tickled the crook of his neck with my lips. "Was it?"

"You don't think it smells feminine?" he asked while soothingly petting the back of my head.

"I think it smells good." I answered while creeping my arm over his abdomen so I could carefully climb on top of him. "Besides, you could be drenched in rose oil and wearing pink chiffon, and no one would ever mistake you for being too feminine… You're too much of a jerk for that."

"You're a jerk," he playfully jibed back while lightly petting my hip with his other hand.

He seemed unusually serene, and I lifted my head to stare into his calm eyes, so warm and rosy, and I kissed him on the lips while we subtly moved against each other.

"And your head?"

"I'll try it for a week and go from there," he breathlessly told me while undoing my buckles and slipping his hand down the front of my pants. He was refusing to admit whether it was working or not, but I had to admit that it didn't really matter at that point.

* * *

><p>"Ho… jo…" Tseng muttered in his sleep. It must have been around two or three in the morning. I wasn't sure if it was him talking in his sleep, or him pawing at the mattress that woke me. "Get off'f…"<p>

"What?" I asked as I partially sat up to see if he was awake. "Tseng?"

"Nn… Va-Valen… tine…."

"Tseng?" I quietly said again, before I lightly shook him, "I think you're having a bad dream."

"Nnn-NO!" he suddenly yelled, and then his back stiffly arched before he abruptly sat up and a strange rattling sound accompanied by the sound of something I can only describe as a siren filled my head.

It was like a scream, and the rattling like a snake continued as I watched what looked like black tendrils unwinding from Tseng's back.

"Damn it," I said under my breath when I saw that it wasn't Tseng, but something else that replaced him.

It was white, like a sheet or a ghost. It's eyes were almost silver and the shape of its head reminded me of an insect with the sharp point of its chin, but it oddly resembled Tseng at the same time. It was wraithlike. Long, straight black hair, longer than Tseng's disappeared into the air at the ends, and it seemed aware of my presence.

What caught my attention more though, was the black things coming from its back. Half of them seemed like tentacles of some sort, but with a mind of their own as they appeared to be inspecting the room. The other half looked stiff and bent, like the legs of a spider or the bones of wings.

There were eight all together, and I inwardly cursed when I remembered that Tseng had a handful of tranquilizers in his night table, but I had to get passed the creature to get them. I couldn't hurt it; I didn't want to try. I knew Tseng was in there, somewhere, and after everything I tried to ignore from Hojo, I knew I was facing the big secret he kept side-stepping away from, finally.

I didn't want to be facing it though. Suddenly all the questions I had washed away with the sole wish that there never needed to be a reason to ask them to begin with.

So, I attempted to dodge the creature so that I could grab the tranquilizers. If there was any truth to anything Hojo told me, tranquilizers would have to work.

_"It's an evolved limit," _he told me, and at that moment, I almost prayed that he wasn't lying to me.

Unfortunately, when I attempted to get passed it, those tentacles saw what I was doing and they latched onto me, at my temples, I think.

I wasn't sure, because everything turned black so fast and I suddenly felt like I wasn't in my body any more. I could feel myself, but it felt like I wasn't _in_ myself, and I could hear myself, but it didn't seem like I was really speaking when I demanded, "What are you?"

* * *

><p>What happened next is hard to explain. It was like I was dreaming, but fully aware as I watched something that looked like a comet burning through the atmosphere during what I can only describe as prehistoric times.<p>

The land was dirt and rock, several hues of oranges and browns painted the landscape. Black smoke and red fire trailed behind the comet. Then it crashed in the distant canyons in a cloud of dust that caught the attention of what looked like a large Bahamut.

After that, the land changed.

It was a different time and place. The ground was black and charred, and the air smelled like sulphur and ash. Fires burned in all directions while streams of lava and mako carved their own paths of personal destruction.

In the skies, a war of demons took place. Black clouds lit up with piercing flashes of lightning while trembling thunder shook the ground. Clashing creatures attacked one another, many of which resembled the same gods and demons our conjurers would summon to their aide.

Hades, Bahamut, Ifrit, Leviathan… they were fighting against others I'd never seen before. The skies were decorated with glowing eyes of all colours, skins of all colours, and creatures large and small, humanoid and beast-like. Some even looked bio-mechanical.

When it was over, the land was barren, and a sole creature laid on the iron-stained ground, face-down as streams of mako ran over and under it. Its armoured clothes were black, silver, damaged, and torn. Lethal wounds covered its body. Broken wings were spread across the ground on either side with an impressive span. They appeared deliberately torn and shredded, leaving only the damaged bone structure to hint at their existence.

I couldn't recall seeing it during the battle. I couldn't imagine not noticing it as the wind blew the dry parts of its black and wraithlike hair from its face, revealing silver eyes with no life in them.

I almost reached out to it, unknowingly knowing what it was before everything changed again.

It seemed like centuries had passed. The ground was covered in silvery-blue foliage and a scent of warm spring filled the air. Blue-tinted trees covered the nearby hills and mountains, and streams of fresh water ran freely to and from large bodies of water. The sky was strange though. It seemed like a white mist blocked out the familiar blue sky and its clouds. Yet an abundance of light managed to pass through and the world seemed bright and warm.

I don't think I would have noticed the creature above if it weren't for something that felt like gentle fingers brushing under my chin to draw my attention upward. There was a creature with wings. It was clad in shredded black, red, and gold.

It was far away and landing in a cave that seemed well hidden from the ground.

_'Chaos…'_ said a voice in my head, and then something felt like it gently grabbed my hand to hold it, intertwining its fingers with mine before it guided me inside of the cave in a way that felt like I wasn't moving.

There it was. The creature that was lying in the aftermath, broken and torn so many centuries before. It sat in a heap on the floor in the back of the cave. Its broken wings were spread out and resting on the floor, and a red orb sat on its lap. The creature was unmoving and emptily staring ahead as if it were still dead.

It had grey, muddied, and tattered strips of cloth wrapped around itself like bandages, and its fine, spidery fingers twitched when the sound of something landed near the entrance to its cave. It remained still otherwise.

That was, until it heard the sound of something moving closer, Then its skeletal wings changed into pliable tentacles that stood up and pointed towards a figure that became visible as if they could see.

It was the same creature I saw flying to the cave entrance. It appeared demonic and almost mechanical. It was just as androgynous as the creature on the floor with its sharply healed shoes and pale skin that bared marks resembling scars across its face. The markings were too symmetrical to be scars though, I assumed, and it stared down at the creature with brightly lit eyes, the colour of gold.

"I believed you were dead," it emptily said to the creature on the ground. It didn't speak in a language I understood. I'm not even sure if it spoke in words, but somehow, I knew what it was saying as it looked down with an emotionless expression.

"What made you stop believing?" the creature asked, sounding empty, uncaring, and lifeless. Though its pale lips didn't move. Neither did any other part of its body except for the tentacles.

"I heard the creatures below," the demon responded. "They mentioned a creature that could change its form."

"They are called the Cetra," the creature responded. Then one of its tentacles moved the creature's arm to the orb on its lap where its spidery fingers faintly responded and stroked it. "They are no more creatures than we are monsters."

"They're a threat."

"To Omega," the creature emptily responded. "Just as I was."

"You turned on us!" The demon flared, showing the first sign of emotion as its eyes grew angrily brighter and it threateningly stepped forward.

"I turned on no one," the creature emptily replied, still showing no signs of emotion. Then its lowest tentacles pushed against the ground to make it stand while the two above it grabbed onto the wall for leverage. All the while, its body remained motionless and limp, like a lifeless puppet, except for the hand that held the red orb.

After that, its two lowest tentacles turned solid and sharp before they quickly pierced into the backs of its legs and became one with them. The two above that did the same to its arms, while the two above them stayed pliable and went their separate ways, making an effort to hold the creatures head up as the ones in its legs walked it towards the demon, and the demon took a step back.

"Chaos," the creature emptily said as its arm moved to the demons face so its lifeless hand could touch it while its uppermost tentacles appeared to study the demon. "You look as you always have."

Then its arm fell limp as it stared through the demon, swaying on its improvised supports.

"As you see, I have changed."

"Your eyes have no light," the demon responded, sounding huskier and quieter as it watched the tentacles tilt the creatures head in response.

"Omega believed I no longer needed them," the creature factually said, still showing no signs of emotion while the demon turned its attention to the tentacles that appeared to be looking at it, and it suspiciously narrowed its eyes.

"It appears you don't."

"I had other preferences," the creature said as it took a few rickety steps passed the demon and walked to the entrance of the cave. "But this will do." It was like a spidery puppet on its own strings, guiding the lifeless parts of itself, and the demon turned to watch it as if it'd never seen the creature like that before. "Irrelevant to my cause."

"Your cause?"

"Yes," the creature answered while keeping its back to the demon. "Gaia wants us gone."

"What is Gaia?" the demon asked as its eyes grew darker and less illuminated.

"Irrelevant to you," the creature calmly stated as it took a few more rickety steps in the direction it was facing. "Neither clan respects Gaia. Gaia respects neither clan. Gaia has chosen a new race."

"The creatures below," the demon guessed as it followed the creature to the entrance.

"The Cetra," the creature corrected. "Gaia has given up on us. Gaia wants a less destructive race."

"Who is _Gaia_ to make that decision?" the demon asked as it quickly came to the creatures side and stared at it in a demanding way.

"Gaia is everything," the creature lifelessly answered as its observing tentacles turned their attention to the small village below and watched. "Omega sacrificed me to Gaia when Omega tortured and murdered me. Gaia is my master now."

"Omega said you were conspiring with Bahamut."

"Bahamut found Mother when Mother's vessel crashed on this planet centuries ago. Bahamut was taken with Mother's ability to take Bahamut's form and mimic Bahamut's power. Bahamut and Mother created me from their own parts," the creature emptily informed. "I have no recollection of that event. I do not recall the day Mother disappeared and Omega stole me from Bahamut. Omega raised me as one of you so that Omega could later punish Bahamut through me."

"You're lying!" the demon angrily accused.

"You will never know," the creature responded. "You will never know that Omega believed I would persuade you to leave. Omega suspected I would rejoin with Bahamut and the others. Omega believed I would take you with me. I do not know why."

"That would never happen."

"You will never know," the creature responded again. "Your nature would deny you from seeing what you do not wish to see."

"What do you know of my nature?" the demon responded, appearing angrier by the second while the mannerism of the creature never changed.

"I know it is your nature to destroy everything that does not make sense to you. You blindly follow orders of destruction. You seek no justification for it. It is what makes you valuable to Omega. You are furious and uncontrolled by all but Omega."

Then the creature's head was guided to the demon as if to acknowledge it. "You are as much a slave to Omega as I am now to Gaia.

"That is why I must do what I must do," the creature informed as its lifeless hand held up the red orb it was holding to draw the demon's attention to it. "I have already persuaded your enemies to sacrifice themselves to serve the Cetra for Gaia. This is a gateway that will hold them until they are called upon by the owner.

"They must come to their owner's aide and follow their request before returning to the other dimension they now reside in. They agreed it was best to end the war they no longer recall the reason for. They agreed it is time for a new race."

"You convinced them to be slaves."

"I persuaded them to be free of the enslavement they no longer understand. There will be no more wars between the two clans when opponents are not present."

"You've already convinced them to do this," the demon concluded. "They've already sacrificed themselves."

"They are gone now, yes," the creature answered as its head turned back to the village below. "Now, I must persuade you to persuade Omega to do the same."

"That will never happen!"

"I know," the creature emptily responded as it closed its silver eyes, "just as I know I can never convince you of anything Omega disagrees with. I regret that you leave me with no choice."

"You're broken," the demon pointed out. "I can take no threat seriously from you."

"I am making no threat," the creature responded. "I will choose whichever fate you choose. After everything I have done, it is just."

At that, the demon narrowed its eyes at the creature in suspicion. Then it looked up at the creature's observing attention on the village below and looked down. It was full of life, gaiety, and festivals, something that appeared foreign to both of them as they watched the people below.

"They have the power to heal," the creature quietly said. "I have taken their form and visited them. I have learned much. They are kind, forgiving, and accepting of one another. I know you do not understand, just as I do not."

"What are they doing?" the demon asked as his temperament calmed and he set his sight on a male and female walking beside each other.

"Holding hands," the creature responded.

"Why?"

"It is a sign of affection," the creature told the demon. "They do it to show they accept one another. I believe it is to say they like to be close. I am still a novice to their ways. I can only guess."

At that, the demon turned its attention back to the creature and tilted its head. Then it turned its attention to the creatures lifeless hand and curiously stared at it before quickly glancing back at the creature's face.

After that, it side-stepped closer and intertwined its fingers with the creature's and returned its attention to the town below.

"We will meet again, Chaos," the creature lifelessly said, showing no acknowledgment to its hand being held by the demon while they both mindlessly stared at the town below. "In a new prison. I will have the opportunity to see through another's eyes and feel. You will have the opportunity to learn humility and think for yourself one day. Circumstances will leave us with no choice."

"What about these creatures?"

"The Cetra," the creature corrected. "They will be visited by a calamity from Mother's world, centuries from now. The calamity will attempt what Mother did not. The Cetra will trust the calamity as they trusted me. They will be misled."

"You speak like you see the future now," the demon observed, and the creature responded, "Another gift from Gaia."

"Another?" the demon asked, and everything changed again. The cave, the village, the trees and the sky disappeared.

They were replaced by a larger cave, a darker one with loose sand spread across the floor from shuffling feet. Demons argued and schemed over accusations and plans. The one called 'Chaos' was there. It stood in front of a larger, bio-mechanical looking demon that it called 'Omega.' It had multiple feathered wings that appeared too small in comparison to its body, and its large mechanical limbs illuminated a blue light.

They appeared to be planning to attack the creatures called 'The Cetra.' Their spirits were high and wild, and they seemed to be celebrating the news Chaos told them about the Gods, their enemies, and how Dissolution persuaded them to retire themselves to summon materia.

They threw things at one another, fought, laughed, howled, and stopped everything they were doing when another creature's presence appeared in their cave and their feet locked to the floor as green crystalline structures grew from the floor. It spread out from where the creature stood as if it were originating from it.

Streams of iridescent green ran along the floor like veins, capturing the demons before they had the chance to run or fly. It grew upward and quickly solidified as if to imprison them while the creature calmly walked forward. Loose strips of dirty grey cloth awkwardly swayed as the rickety figure walked to the middle of the cave and stopped before the demon called 'Chaos.'

"This is the _other_ gift!" Chaos hissed at the creature while the demons around them frantically howled and tried to break free from what resembled solidifying mako. Though, the one called 'Omega' seemed to be in more agony than the others as the creature regarded Chaos with its observing tentacles.

"I offered you a preferable option," the creature responded. "Now, we must face a less desirable fate."

"We…" Chaos repeated as it quickly looked at the creature's feet and saw that it was imprisoning itself. Then it quickly looked at its clan, now silent from the fast growing prisons that were closing around them and suffocating them. They were almost complete while it grew up the creature's and Chaos' legs at a slower rate.

The one surrounding the largest of them was pulsating, appearing intentional, and the beast trapped in it appeared like it were being punished, unlike the others.

"I can not stop it," the creature confessed as its tentacles observed the demon in front of it and the prison reached their waists. "I do not want to."

"Because we deserve it," Chaos concluded as it angrily stared at the creature.

"I offered you an option," the creature said again. "You chose to attack the innocent. I wanted to give you more time. You confided to Omega in favour of declaring war on a species that can not defend itself yet."

"You've always been deceptive," Chaos accused. "Everything about you. You told me your own kind would come and destroy them like you didn't care, but you punish us for doing the same!"

"I am only half of Mother's race, and I have always been incapable of caring, Chaos," the creature emptily admitted. "You have always known the latter. It is not personal. I will be unable to stop the calamity from happening in the future, as you see," it said as its head tilted towards its own prison and it crossed its arms serenely over its chest as the growth of the mako sped up. "I will not be around to affect that outcome."

"You saw your fate," Chaos quietly said as it watched the prison around the creature solidify, and it reached out as its features softened. "Why didn't you try harder to save yourself…?"

As the prison solidified over the last demon, the world faded, and a vision of myself flashed in front of my eyes. The world was on fire and I looked possessed, angry, and vengeful as my silver hair blew from the heated waves of the fire.

I had killed. Innocent blood was on my sword. Innocent lives, I had taken, and before I was finally released from what the creature was showing me, it lifelessly told me, "Gaia… does not want you here."

* * *

><p>"Ah!" I gasped as a light painfully hit my eyes and I fell forward before someone pushed me backwards onto the bed, and Hojo's voice grumbled that, "I really do wish the two of you had different interests."<p>

Then I opened my eyes and shielded them from the assaulting light.

"I mean… really? Do the two of you _really_ think I want to see the two of you like _this_?" he asked as he held out his hand and hunched over me while sneering in disgust. My guess was that it had something to do with us both being naked.

The fact that he was in my room in the middle of the night, uninvited, raised a few questions of my own, though.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked. "And how did you get in?"

"Oh… hehehe… that…" he muttered as he adjusted his glasses and put a cap on the syringe I didn't notice him holding at first. Then he looked down at Tseng lying unconsciously on the floor and put the used syringe in his pocket while shaking his head. "When dissolution awakens, it's best I don't waste time."

"How would you know it was awake," I suspiciously asked as I reached for my underwear and put it on and he shook his head at me. "Are you watching him?"

"I have to keep him under constant observation, Sephiroth… No thanks to you," he explained as he opened Tseng's brown eyes and shone a light into them. "But I have no desire to see the perverted ways in which he spends his spare time with you, or with other men… hehehe…. I'm _curious_, yes, but not _that_ curious… hehehe…"

Then he turned his light off and stood while carelessly waving his hand at me and stating, "There's a chip in his brain that monitors its waves… Right now, it's dangerously erratic."

After that, he turned his attention to me and brushed his greasy hair back, suggesting he hadn't showered in days. "What set his limit off?" he accusingly demanded. "What did you do to him this time?"

"I didn't do anything," I argued.

"No fights?" he asked as if he didn't believe me. "No affairs or unwarranted accusations?"

"No," I said. "If anything, he was in a great mood and we…"

"I don't need you to tell me what the two of you _did_!" he snapped at me. "It's obvious!"

"If it's so damned obvious, why are you accusing me of doing something else?"

"In very rare occasions, fiction is preferable to facts," Hojo grumbled as he looked at me in disgust while I put a pair of pants on. "Something else must have happened then!"

"I don't know," I mumbled, growing more annoyed by his arrogant and judging presence by the second. "He had a bad dream before it happened, I think."

"A _dream_?" Hojo mockingly asked before he laughed at me like I was an idiot. "A _dream_ would _not_ have caused this, Sephiroth! Not at this _proportion_!" he said as he threw his arms into the air to emphasize how big of a deal it was.

"Well, how in the hell would I know?" I angrily asked, and Hojo gave me a warning look to watch my temper.

Then he turned his attention back to Tseng and knelt down. "What's that smell?"

"What smell?"

"I don't know," he said as he leaned closer to Tseng and sniffed his hair. "It's… like… a cologne, or something… but not quite…"

"Lavender," I answered, and Hojo laughed at the answer like he thought it was hysterical.

"Why does he smell like lavender?" he laughed out, and I shrugged while sneering at his hunched over back while wishing he would leave. "I must admit your kind confuses me."

"It's for his headaches," I told him, unable to hide the angry tone in my voice, and Hojo suddenly stopped laughing.

He couldn't have looked more serious as he stood and tilted his head to look at me while sneering. "Headaches?" he asked, and I nodded. "For how long?"

"For a while now," I suspiciously answered. "He said he figured it was from a concussion and he wouldn't do anything about it."

"He never went to anyone about it," Hojo said as if he were telling me something I didn't already know. "I would have _known_."

"That's the problem," I said. "He didn't want you interfering."

"I _don't _interfere, Sephiroth!" he said through his teeth, before justifying his actions. "I _do_ what has to be _done!_"

"That's great," I dully responded. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Are you accusing me of something?" Hojo asked as he slowly turned to face me and adjusted his glasses.

"It's too late for that."

"Hmph… I see," he said as he slowly turned back to Tseng while watching me until he was fully turned. Then he knelt down again and stroked Tseng's hair as if he were admiring him, and it bothered me. It always bothered me when he did that, and I had no idea why. "Next time he has a _persistent_ headache, Sephiroth, you _need_ to let me know."

"Why?"

"Because it's a common side-effect when Dissolution is close to spawning," he told me. "I thought I told you that before."

"I don't remember," I said.

"Well," Hojo calmly said. "Now that this has happened, I'll need to take him to my lab to ensure no permanent damage has occurred."

"I'm going with you."

"No, you're not," he coldly said. "This is _your_ fault." Then he walked towards me so our faces were uncomfortably close and he suspiciously studied me while I tried to avoid the smell of raw onions and garlic on his breath. "Tell me…" he said as he looked near my eyes and his voice turned curiously melodic. "What did it show you?"

"What makes you think it showed me anything?"

"I saw its subsidiaries piercing your temples when I arrived," Hojo calmly informed, as he continued to suspiciously study me with narrowing eyes. "It has a tendency to show people what they want to see by getting into their brain. It does this in exchange for acquiring its own information."

"Does it?" I aloofly asked, making it sound like I didn't care.

"Oh, yes," Hojo softy sang out, sounding amused by some dirty little secret that we both suddenly shared. "It will show you _whatever_ you want to know, and as a side-effect, it leaves remnants for you to call upon later."

I guess I wanted to know what the creature was and where it came from, if what Hojo said were true, but I didn't tell him because I didn't want to answer the questions resulting from that answer. From what I gathered, Hojo's 'Dissolution' was some kind of clairvoyant, half-alien dogmatist that believed in Gaia to a dangerous extreme.

Maybe it really was an apostle of Gaia's, or maybe it just had its own agenda and used Gaia as its justification. It found new power and strength through its hardships and isolation, and managed to coerce an entire race into serving the Cetra while exacting revenge on the other race.

I couldn't blame it for what it did, though. If any of it were true, I sympathized with it. I could easily see myself doing the same, and maybe that was what it was telling me near the end when it showed me the coldness in my own eyes and the fires surrounding me. Maybe when it told me Gaia didn't want me here, it was saying that I didn't belong.

That was what I chose to believe at the time. There was no way I could have known the reality of the visions it showed me then, and as I watched Hojo pull a device from his pocket, turn it on, and shortly after, he and Tseng disappeared as if they were never there, I finally understood how he entered our apartment.

I also understood how he was able to move around unseen. Compliments from Shinra, Hojo had a dangerous prototype of a teleportation device that went missing from Reeve's lab years ago.


	18. Halfway

**Halfway**

* * *

><p>For Almost an hour, Genesis remains in the same position he was in when Weiss left. He never moved. His expression never changed, and it almost seems like he never breathed.<p>

The water in the pot reduced to half its original volume, and Genesis still stares at the apple core as its sweet aroma fills the small space. It's almost like he's looking through it as the condensation from the heated water drips from his hand that is still hovering over the pot.

Whatever he's thinking, if anything at all, he's caught up in it to the point where he's lost track of time. Or maybe he's just waiting for something and biding his time until it happens.

Either way, he finally clenches his fist over the water and clenches his teeth. Then he violently smacks the pot from the stove and ignores the mess as he runs to the door and bolts it. He's breathing heavily as if he's about to hyperventilate and he hunches forward while pressing his hands to the door as he lowers his head. He lightly knocks his forehead a couple of times against the wood to express he's trying to knock his thoughts into place.

His fists start to clench again and he angrily hits the door with them before he turns around to slouch with his back against it while taking more deep breaths.

It's like he's trying to calm himself down as he scans the small cabin like he's looking for something. He folds his arms across his chest and buries his fists under his arms when he tightly closes his eyes and bangs the back of his head against the door.

Then he returns his attention to the cabin and focuses on a spot under the cot, and he tenses up as if there's something under it that he doesn't want to deal with.

I can only guess that he's fighting his Goddess or his rage. Maybe it's both as he finally seems to make up his mind and he goes to the window and pulls back the ratty curtain to peer into the storm like he's making sure Weiss has left.

Or maybe he's looking for someone else, like this 'man' Weiss is hunting.

It's hard to tell as his eyes briefly brighten and he squeezes them shut as he lets the curtain fall back into place. He presses the base of his palms against his eyes like he wants to rub them out of his skull. Then he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it bleeds, and he lunges at the cot and violently flips it to the other side of the cabin.

There's a trap door there, and Genesis stares at it while heavily breathing as if he's trying to regain himself again. He wipes the blood from his mouth and starts to lightly chew on his lip where he bit it.

He fights with whatever is going on in his head until he finally lets out a weighted sigh, opens the trap door, and disappears into the tunnelling mazes below.

It's part of an underground infrastructure that was built underneath the town. It's purpose was to help the townspeople and tourists avoid the cold blizzards outside when they were too treacherous to travel. They were originally built for the bath houses, hotels, and businesses. Eventually, they were expanded and people started using them as a way to visit each other during the ruthless storms that Modeoheim was well known for.

They used to be well-kept and lighted at one time, but now, they're like tombs that have become unstable and dangerous. The concrete is cracked, moist, and crumbling from the moisture and humidity from the pipes of steam that run along the ceiling. The contractions and retractions caused by the varying temperatures of the earth haven't helped much either.

The floor is almost like mud in certain areas and various creatures and insects have made it their home. Genesis pays no mind to them as he crushes most of them under his feet while he quickly charges his way through. He travels like he's travelled the same path many times before, eagerly opening and closing many doors. He only stops when he's faced with creatures that are too large to pass.

He swiftly deals with them and continues, showing no satisfaction as his expression progressively grows darker. He seems to be fighting with himself the entire time. Then he stops at a door and hesitates.

It seems to be the door he was heading for, but when he gets to it, he behaves as if he doesn't want to go through it as he grabs the handle, closes his eyes, and bangs his forehead against it like he wishes he never had to deal with whatever it is he thinks he has to deal with.

He lets out a deep sigh then, shakes his head, and opens the door to charge through another corridor. This one is darker and more lifeless. The floor is muddier and the air is thicker and staler, and as Genesis reaches the end of the corridor, there is a heavily bolted door that is illuminated by the small light Genesis is using to guide his way through.

This door isn't meant to keep him out though. It's meant to keep other's out, and maybe in as well. Genesis reaches for the keys for the locks while entering a combination on another lock, but like he did with all the other doors blocking his way, he pauses at the last lock and clenches his teeth.

Then he opens it to reveal a back entrance to the lab he's been keeping Tseng in, and he bolts the door behind him.

The look in his eyes is hard to decipher as he stares at Tseng in his tattered state. Tseng's clothes are still stained with dry blood and debris. He lies motionless on the table Genesis left him on, and he's lightly snoring like he would if he had a cold.

Genesis doesn't seem to notice or care about that though. His eyes wander over Tseng's unconscious body with conflicting emotions, and his jaw remains tense. He appears hesitant as he studies Tseng while he repetitively taps on the door behind him in a light and jittery manner with his fingers.

Then his eyes grow darker and he swiftly pushes himself from the door. He walks to the table as if he were stalking prey. His emotions still appear conflicting, and he leans over Tseng and places the palm of his hand near the man's temple in a soothing way. His thumb lightly moves over Tseng's brow while Genesis continues to study him as if he were admiring him.

After a few more strokes of his thumb, he clenches his fist into Tseng's hair and narrows his eyes while leaning closer in a way that suggests he wants to confide in something.

"They all think they can take you away from me," he lowly growls as he tilts his head like he wants to kiss the man and leans closer. "But they can never have you… can they?" he asks, and he pauses for a moment, runs his eyes over Tseng's face, and then straightens up and stares into space.

He appears slightly mad as he reaches for Tseng's hand, continues to stare emptily into space, and pulls it to his lips so that he can brush Tseng's listless fingertips against them.

Then he roughly throws Tseng's hand as if he's startled and disgusted by his own actions, and he quickly paces to and from the table with conflicting thoughts.

"There is no reason for me to protect you," he argues. "There's nothing Weiss could do to you that you wouldn't _deserve_… and it could end this whole ordeal once and for all…! It would be a small sacrifice to make… to let him use you…

"Then…" he says as he stops pacing and stares down at Tseng. "Then… I could kill Weiss before he has the chance to kill you… _Yesss…_ That could _easily _be done…" he hisses and purrs as he starts pacing again and shakes his finger in the air like he's had the most brilliant epiphany he's ever had.

"Unfortunately," he realizes as he stops and stares into empty space again. "I'd have to start over with you… All the effort I've put into making you–"

He practically chokes on his words as he stops himself from saying what he was going to say. Then he pulls a green orb out of his cuff and closes his eyes while resting it against his forehead like it's helping him think. "I've put too much effort into making you trust me again… I was getting… so… close…

"And I don't want to start over," he says as he shakes his head, opens his eyes, and looks as if he's gone completely insane while holding out the green orb towards Tseng as if he's offering it to the man. His long diamond-studded earring catches the greenish light with an eerie glow as it dangles against his shoulder. The glow reflects in his eyes as he stretches his arm to the limit and slightly arches his back while his fingers grip tightly onto the orb as if he's trying to crush it.

"If I can't have you…" he warns. Then he sneers and decides not to finish his sentence. Instead, he decides to yell out, "CURE3!" before he throws the orb away from himself as hard as he can and Tseng lets out a horrifying shriek after his eyes snap wide open for an instant.

"AAAGGGHHH!"

Tseng's body painfully contorts when he screams, and Genesis yells at him, "You're _mine_!"

Then he angrily yanks Tseng from the table by the arm that was dislocated. He ignores Tseng's startled cry, and he throws the man to the floor, causing Tseng to yelp in excruciating pain.

"You belong to _me_!" Genesis yells at him as he delivers a swift kick into Tseng's abdomen, causing Tseng to struggle to regain his breath. "After _everything_ I've done for you!" he says as he kneels down behind him and grabs a fistful of Tseng's hair so he can wrench the man's neck back so that their cheeks are touching.

"Agh!"

"There is _no_ way I am _ever_ going to let you _go_," he confides in a strangely melodic way. "Do you understand that?"

Tseng barely nods while he struggles to regain his breath. His limbs are shaky and his expression is tortured and pained from whatever the cure spell is doing to his insides, along with the sudden physical assault from Genesis.

"_No_ one is going to take you _away_ from me," he growls into his ear. "Do you _hear_ me?" he asks before he repeats himself. "_No_ one!" Then he pushes Tseng's head into the floor and stands while coldly staring down at him.

His jaw is clenched while Tseng whimpers and tries to curl up to relieve himself from the agony as best as he can. Genesis smirks at him and calmly removes his coat, his belt, and he slowly undoes the first button on his pants.

"Look at what you made me do," he melodically says as he tilts his head, suddenly seeming empty inside. "I told you why I didn't want to use the Restore Materia."

Tseng gasps out a snort while he shakily wraps his arm around his gut. He's unable to see that Genesis has undone another button on his pants while he eerily stares at Tseng as if he were a specimen for him to play with. "I was…" Tseng laboriously starts, still fighting for breath, and he superficially snickers out, "wondering… when your next… psychotic… episode… would be…"

"You look like you're in a lot of pain," Genesis observes, uninterested in what Tseng had to say, and he smirks when Tseng feigns amusement in the comment. "Is it true?" he asks. "That you feel _everything_ that was _ever_ done to you…? Every pain…? Every… _stab_?"

"You're a _sick_… sonuvabitch…" Tseng pants out.

"Mm," Genesis emptily nods. "Restore… Materia… Overdose… Syndrome," he says as he nods and looks upward. "That's what they call it… Right?" he asks. "It's very rare." Then he returns his attention to Tseng and tilts his head. "And now… every time you, or someone else uses the spell on you, at any level, you have the chance to relive everything that was ever done to you… to hurt you… before you have the chance to erratically heal at a painful rate… Is that correct?"

Tseng only snorts in disgust while he breaks out into a cold sweat, and Genesis coldly smiles at him while undoing the last button on his pants.

"I always wondered why you never told _Vincent_… We both know he never would have used the spell on you if he knew… The scars never heal, and if it doesn't kill you, it leaves you weak and vulnerable afterwards…" he says as he slowly undoes the zipper on his pants and his eyes turn somewhat feral while they hungrily wander over Tseng's shaking form. "Correct?"

He's not interested in hearing an answer that he already knows though. He makes that obvious by the way he suddenly lunges at Tseng, roughly pulls him upright and smashes Tseng's back into his own chest. Then he holds his arm across Tseng's chest like a vice and aggressively reaches to the buckle on Tseng's pants and forcefully tries to undo it.

Tseng fights back as best as he can. He tries to pry Genesis' hand away while protesting as he violently tries to squirm out of his grip. "No…! Genesis…! _No_!" He's become a twisted mess in Genesis' arms as they continue to struggle with one another, and Genesis laughs at him in amusement.

Unfortunately, Tseng is losing the battle, and Genesis appears uninterested in his protests. He never did take 'no' for an answer, but this time, he's taking it too far.

Maybe he cares more than he wants to admit to, though. Maybe it was Tseng's sudden submissive whimpering when he realized he was too weak protect himself from a man that was always stronger than him, or maybe it was the begging, "Please… Leviathan… Please… Don't… Don't do this… Genesis… Don't do this to me…"

It was almost like a saddened whimper in the air, and Tseng never begged. I think we all knew that. It wasn't in his nature to break down while squeezing his eyes shut as if he thought he could shut out a reality he didn't want to face.

Whatever it was, something made Genesis come to his senses, and he suddenly lets go of Tseng's partially undone belt and wraps his arms around Tseng in a compassionate and protective manner.

"I…" he softly chokes out as he brushes Tseng's messy hair from his ear with the tip of his nose and closes his eyes, "Don't want to feel this way…"

Then he nuzzles his face into Tseng's neck and tightens his grip around him.

"I don't want to feel anything," he confesses. "No more hate… No more anger… No more…"

With a pause, he lifts his head and stares at Tseng, studying his profile with a deadened expression. The man's hair is hanging over his face in a stringy mess, and his breath is shaky. His eyes are still closed, and the back of his head is tiredly resting against Genesis' shoulder. He isn't moving. He seems frozen as if in fear. All he does is flinch every time Genesis moves and he keeps his hands protectively over his belt as if he thinks he still can't trust Genesis enough to relax.

Then Genesis leans closer so his mouth is against Tseng's ear. He brushes his lips against it and warmly breathes into it before he says in a flattened tone, "I want to make you cum."

He snickers about it as if he finds it hard to believe he'd actually say it, and his molesting hands start to wander over Tseng's chest and abdomen as if he's memorizing every inch. He doesn't care that Tseng flinches with every movement and defensively counters him.

He doesn't care about the shakiness of Tseng's breath or the obvious expression of disgust when he brushes his lips over Tseng's hair-covered cheek. He's still filthy from the fall and Genesis doesn't seem to care about that either.

"I want to make you feel sooo _good_," Genesis purrs as he runs his hands to Tseng's inner thighs while pushing his hips back into his own groin.

After that, he stops and returns his arms to rest across Tseng's chest. He rests his chin on Tseng's shoulder and sneers. Then he lets out a deep breath and he starts rocking them both as if he's trying to comfort the man while he stares at the wall and bitterly states. "It's too bad you're impotent."

"Genesis…" Tseng quietly breathes out as his shaky hands flutter to Genesis' arms and he weakly tugs at them to encourage him to loosen his grip.

"Do you know what the worst part is?" Genesis asks, seemingly unaware that Tseng said anything at all, or even that the man wants his attention. "The worst part is…" he starts while Tseng's paling complexion goes unnoticed, "that I'm not even gay." Then he laughs. "I never was… Isn't that ironic?" he asks, and he turns to look at Tseng like he can't figure him out. "It's just like _Vincent_."

"I'm gonna be sick," Tseng blurts out, and Genesis pushes him forward like he's suddenly disgusted by him.

"_Why_… are you… so… _fucking_… attractive!" he demands as Tseng grips into the floor and dryly heaves. "From the day I first _saw_ you," Genesis hysterically starts, "I've been _obsessed_ with you! _Every_ time I _jerk_ off, I _think_ of _you_!"

Then he grabs Tseng by the hair and throws him against the wall, startling Tseng.

"And I _hate_ you for that!"

"Leviathan…" Tseng grunts out as he partially stands against the wall, using it for leverage, and he covers his mouth with one hand and wraps the other over his gut, and he dryly heaves again.

"I want to _hurt_ you," Genesis confesses while Tseng falls forward to his knees. "I want to hurt you so _badly_ that I can _taste_ it." Then he laughs again and pushes a waste can towards Tseng. "I can still taste _you… Oh… _and I don't_ ever_ want _that_ taste to go away," he says, before he quickly interrupts himself and tells Tseng to, "Vomit in the can–I don't want to clean up that kind of mess after you!"

"Whaddayou… want… from me…?" Tseng asks as he feels for the can and Genesis cruelly kicks it away.

"What do I want _from_ you?" he asks as if he's surprised and flattered that Tseng would ask. Then he grabs Tseng from the floor and pins him to the wall, smashing his groin into Tseng's while ignoring the elicited grunt and his nauseated heaving, and he roughly brushes Tseng's hair from his face and moves close enough to breathe on his lips. "I don't want anything _from_ you. Isn't that obvious?" he asks before he glares at Tseng and lowly growls out, "I want _you_."

He grips his fists into Tseng's hair and throws him to the floor after that, and then he swoops down to grab the can and places it back in from of him.

"And I don't, know, why," he suddenly admits, almost singing it out, before he grabs a chair and practically flops into it like he's exhausted, and Tseng finally throws up, unable to miss his own hair.

Genesis sits there with his legs lazily spread out as he slouches with his arm propped on the examination table, and he shakes his head at Tseng while showing no aversion towards the man vomiting in front of him.

"They tortured me, you know?" he confesses. "They experimented on me and used my genes to enhance other Soldiers, making them as dangerous as I am. I wanted to die, but _you_ kept me alive–the _thought_ of you.

"Do you know what that's like? To be drugged, imprisoned, and used by the same people you used to trust?" he asks as he suddenly straightens up and leans forward. "Of course you do," he snickers out. "We have more in common than I realized. I wanted _you_ to understand… I wanted _you_ to _feel_ what I _felt_… I wanted you to _know_ what it was like to be _used_ and then thrown out!" Genesis angrily tells him. "I wanted you to _pay_!"

Then he gets out of his chair when Tseng appears to be done and he quickly squats beside him and grabs him by the hair again, yanking him so that his ear is close to Genesis' mouth. "But every time I _look_ at you, _especially_ now, all I can think of is the subtle way that you _moan_ when I _fuck_ you!"

"You're insane," Tseng whispers, and Genesis eagerly nods with a demented grin and widens his eyes. "Leviathan… You've completely lost your mind…"

"Waking up one day to discover your entire life is a lie can do that," Genesis flatly confesses. "When everyone you trusted turns on you…" Then he sadly smiles and brushes his lips against Tseng's ear while clenching his fist in the man's hair, hard enough to pull a few strands out, and whispers, "But that doesn't mean we can't _learn_ to _like_ each other. Does it?"

"There's not much to like," Tseng reluctantly admits while wincing from Genesis' grip, and Genesis snorts, and cruelly grips the fingers of his other hand into Tseng's jaw.

He forcefully turns his head with a savage jerk so they're facing each other, and he aggressively kisses Tseng, pressing his mouth to the man's in a bruising manner while Tseng stumbles from struggling to push him away. "Hmph!" Then Genesis pulls away and threatens, "I'll leave you with _no_ choices then!"

After that, he stands and roughly pulls Tseng with him by the collar of his shirt when he stands, and he threatens him as he drags him down the hall. "I'll destroy _everything_ you hold dear if I have to," he warns him. "Be it… the last of your _Turks_, your friends, or… Goddess forbid… your _Mother_!"

At that, Tseng musters enough energy to squirm free and slugs Genesis across the face with his right hand. Tseng's mother was more important to him than anything else. He never hid that fact. We all knew it. It was the only thing you never insulted or threatened when you were around him. Genesis also knew that, and he heartlessly smiles at Tseng before he reaches forward and brutally grips his fingers into Tseng's shoulders, forcing the man to grimace.

"Don't _think_ I won't _do_ it!" Genesis threatens as he brutally kicks Tseng in the abdomen while roughly gripping into his shoulders. It causes Tseng to painfully grunt and stumble backwards when Genesis lets go, and he falls into the nearby cell. Genesis careless smirks at him and slams the solid metal door shut. He stays on the other side and locks it, and he presses his palms to it while Tseng hysterically pounds on the other side and demands to be let out.

"Genesis…! You psychotic lunatic…! LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"No. You're safer in there," Genesis tells him. "For now…" and he stares at the door like he's staring through it while Tseng continues to desperately pound on it. "Believe me," he says. "Out here, you're likely to get beaten senseless, or raped."

After that, he laughs in disbelief of himself and backs into the wall behind him, and he lazily slides to the floor. Then he nods to himself and does his pants up while breathing out, "Yeah… I think it's best if you just stay in _there_… It's far too dangerous for you out here…"

* * *

><p>"<em>That<em> was amazing," I euphorically breathed out. Then I turned to face Tseng, and he gently twirled his finger into a strand of my silver hair while tiredly smiling at me.

"I didn't do anything different," he confessed as he laid beside me and lazily pulled the corner of the sheet over our hips. The rest of the bedding was on the floor and neither of us had the energy to pick it up just yet.

"Mm," I muttered as I moved closer and placed my hand on his side. Then I coyly smiled at him and slid my hand to his hip while pushing the sheet away as I did it. "You don't have to. You're always amazing," I playfully said as I started circling my fingers over his pale skin.

"I see," he said with a weak smile as he batted my hand away and turned onto his back. "I guess you just don't say it enough then."

Since the day Hojo took Tseng from my room in the middle of the night and returned him before dawn, Tseng seemed a little nicer and calmer. I didn't know if it was something Hojo did to him, or maybe it was something he said.

I honestly never knew what happened during those hours Hojo had him, or if Tseng was ever conscious during that time. All I knew was that he returned him just as unconscious as he was when he took him.

I also knew they had a heated discussion in his lab later that day too. Everyone could see them arguing behind the glass doors, and as usual, everyone moved out of Tseng's way when he stormed out of Hojo's lab and slammed the door to his office after he entered it.

It wasn't unusual, and I might have been jumping to conclusions. There was always the possibility that something completely unrelated happened that day, and it left Tseng with a lighter disposition. It might have even been the lavender he continued to use after that night.

I had to admit that I was also in a lighter mood for other reasons. The cottage in Costa Del Sol was finally finished, and I finally decided that it was the right time to offer my proposal.

So, I propped myself up and leaned over him, looked down, and fanned his attractive black hair across the pillow he was resting his head on, and coyly smiled.

"I can't go again," he grumbled, and I snickered at him while he turned his head away.

"Why not?" I playfully asked. "I could go all night with you."

"I don't know where you get your energy from," he yawned out, and I smiled again and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"I actually wanted to propose a special mission to you," I purred as he turned his head and curiously looked at me. "It's right up your alley…Covert… Mysterious… Exotic… You'll like it…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, almost sounding like he was afraid to ask for fear that I was going to say something he'd deem as 'stupid,' and I mischievously smiled at him and started tickling his neck with light kisses.

"Leviathan, Seph…" he grumbled. "Sex is not covert _nor_ mysterious, and I told you I can't do it more than once a night." Then he pushed me away and turned over to his side while I snickered at him in amusement and asked, "How would you know when you never try?"

"Go to sleep."

"Besides, that's not what I was talking about, I just thought it would make the topic more interesting while we discuss it," I admitted. "You know… it would make it more _exotic_."

"You're an idiot–go to sleep."

Then he reached down for the blankets and haphazardly threw them over us, and I protested by pushing the blanket away from me and stating that, "I don't want to go to sleep. Not until you've heard my proposition."

"Fine," he grumbled, "What's you're silly mission then?"

"I want you to go to Wutai tomorrow, and I want you to meet me in Costa Del Sol a few days later, but I don't want you to tell anyone that you're going to Costa Del Sol."

"What?" he asked as he turned around and looked at me like he thought I was being ridiculous. "Why would I do that?"

"Because there's something you'll find interesting there," I said as he quirked his brow at me, "and I want to show it to you."

"I'm not going anywhere, especially with less than a day's notice," he said. "People are going to question me about that."

"That's why you're going to lie about it."

With a disbelieving snicker, he sat up and stared down at me. "We can't go on a vacation at the same time, Seph. It'll look suspicious."

"That's why you're going to Wutai first," I suggested. "You'll see your mother. It's getting near the time you go anyway. That way, I can stick around and leave on a different date, and no one will suspect anything _quirky_ about what we might or might not be doing behind closed doors when we get naked."

"Leviathan, Seph. You're talking stupid. At least give me a reason why I'd want to do this."

"No," I answered as I pulled the blankets over myself and straightened them out a bit. "You said I was being stupid." Then I turned my back to him and tried to sleep while he pestered me for the rest of the night and got no answers.

* * *

><p>I knew Tseng didn't like to play games, but I also knew that his curiosity always got the better of him. He was always stubborn about his decisions though, and to prove that his decision had nothing to do with my stupid suggestion, he decided to book a three week vacation in Wutai.<p>

He didn't book it to start on the day I suggested. That's the part where he thinks he's telling me I had no influence on his desire to suddenly go to Wutai. He booked it a couple of days later. The Shinra office had his request written down for three weeks and approved it.

His ticket for Wutai was also booked for three weeks, and I frowned at him. "Why do you always have to be such a jerk?" I asked, and he tapped me on the head with his newspaper as he walked by me and sat across from me at the table.

"How am I being a jerk?" he asked before he took a sip of his tea and opened his newspaper.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Leviathan…" he breathed out as if he were irritated. "Let it rest." Then he grabbed his plain waffle with his fingers and took a bite out of it like it was a piece of toast.

"You knew I already booked my vacation for Costa Del Sol."

"Yes," he admitted. "If I recall correctly, yours starts a week after I leave."

He recalled correctly. Then he put his paper down and stared at me while I took a sip of my milk and stared at my plain waffles. The bastard never brought the syrup to the table, just because he didn't like anything sweet, but he knew I liked it on my waffles. He dictated everything, and it pissed me off.

"That's stuff is disgusting," he factually said as he pointed at my milk, and I tilted my glass and stared into it while thinking, _here we go again…_

He always did that. He hated the taste and the smell of milk, and he always pointed it out every time I drank it. It was every morning. He'd say that I reminded him of a little kid, because that's what little kids drank, not grown men, and it's disgusting garbage that no respectable human being should be drinking anyway.

It's full of mucous, puss, bacteria, blah, blah, blah… I don't even think he really knew what he was talking about.

Sometimes, I felt like he'd always see me as nothing but a kid, the same little kid he met back in Junon when he first met me, yelled at me, insulted me, and hit me. Then I mused over how disgusting _that_ was–to be sleeping with a little _kid_.

"Leviathan," he grumbled as he pushed his paper farther away from him and stood. "I can't believe you're sulking over this."

"I'm not sulking," I grumbled as I poked at my waffle with my fork and he let out a heavy breath.

"You're a grown man, Seph," he said as he opened the fridge and grabbed something out of it. "You can still go to Costa Del Sol."

"The whole point was so we could meet there," I argued as I narrowed my eyes, stared into my glass and then quickly poured some of my milk into his tea.

He saw me do it, and he set the syrup on the table in front of me and quirked his brow while he looked down at me like he wasn't impressed. "That was mature," he sarcastically said as he grabbed the tea and dumped it. "Do you really think I wouldn't have noticed that?"

"Only after you would have taken a sip," I said as I poured the syrup over my cold waffles and frowned. "You never look at it before you drink it."

"Leviathan," he breathed out as he grabbed a new cup because I'd contaminated the one he was using beyond human standards. "Go to Costa Del Sol."

"I don't want to," I grumbled as I took a large bite and overstuffed my mouth with it. He hated it when I did that too.

"I want you to go," he argued. "You already bought the ticket—Just _go_. It'll be nice for you to do something by yourself for a change."

"No," I argued with my mouth full, and he smacked me across the back of the head for talking with my mouth full.

Then he heavily sighed, hovered beside me, and brushed his lips over my ear while lowering his voice to a purr, and he rested his hand on top of mine. "I _want_ you to _go_." After that, he intertwined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand for emphasis. "You _need_ to go."

"I don't want to go alone," I grumbled as I tossed my fork on my waffles and took another drink of milk while he rolled his eyes at me. The waffles were disgusting. I let them get cold and then I put too much syrup on them. I didn't want them any more, and he sighed again and took my plate.

"You're such a child sometimes," he observed as he dumped my waffles into the garbage and rinsed the plate off.

"I guess that makes you a child molester," I pointed out and gulped down the rest of my milk while I stood.

He didn't like that. He didn't think it was funny, at all. In his world, there were some things you just didn't make fun of, and that was one of them. "You're really pissing me off right now," he flatly stated as he snatched my glass from my hand and rinsed it out. "If you don't go to Costa Del Sol, I'm not going to Wutai."

"Then don't go," I childishly said as I walked over to the sofa and laid across it. He hated that too, and he pointed that out when he said that, "You're not the only one that lives here. Other people might want to sit there too."

"Right," I grumbled as I turned the TV on and started switching between channels because there was nothing on, which was another thing he didn't like, "because there's _sooo_ many people living here, and they _all_ wanna sit on the couch."

He said something in Wutian then. It was something I couldn't translate, which led me to believe he was swearing at me as he walked to the sofa, knelt down behind it, and then flipped it over to toss me onto the floor.

"You're a nasty little tonberry that always has to have its way!" I spat out as I jumped to my feet and pointed at him while he coldly stared at me with his arms folded across his chest.

Then he angrily pointed at me and barked out, "Go to Costa Del _Sol_!" and he stormed into the bedroom while adding, "And _quit_ your damned _sulking_!" He wasn't done though, as he wandered about the bedroom to get ready for the day, he continuously complained that I've never gone anywhere by myself and that it was time I learned to do something for myself while I put the couch upright and laid across it again.

* * *

><p>It was true, Tseng was an obstinate prick that always had to have his way, and he could be a real jerk if he didn't get what he wanted. Unfortunately, he also knew that I would do whatever he told me to do, whether I agreed with him or not.<p>

So, I went to Costa Del Sol.

I figured he was right. I was always around someone, and maybe he knew something I didn't know.

Well, he did.

There was another quirk that Tseng had that I never got the hang of, and that was his weird sense of humour, or whatever it was. I wasn't really sure what I could label it as, because it wasn't that funny, but when I got off the boat and started walking to the cottage I was supposed to be going to with him, I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

Why _was_ he being a bigger jerk than usual over the matter? He was _always_ a jerk, but he would usually meet me half way, and as I drew closer, I began to speculate on things I shouldn't have been speculating on.

_Was he having an affair?_

_Was that why he was so adamant about not going anywhere with me?_

_Did he already have plans with someone else?_

_Was he meeting someone besides his mother in Wutai, or was he going somewhere else that I wasn't supposed to know about?_

I couldn't help it, I grew angrier and sulkier the closer I got to the cottage. I began to wonder why I even bothered half the time. He'd never forgive me for what I did to him in the past. I knew that. He didn't let go of things, and I also deserved the cold shoulder he often gave me because of it.

But if it bothered him so much, why the hell did he push me to go to a place like Costa Del Sol by myself? It was the perfect place to hook up with a willing individual, and I started to get madder at myself for not doing so.

Something was off though, and I realized that the moment I got to the cottage and realized that someone was already there. The lanterns were lit, and the pathway was swept, and a new anger hit me when I concluded that a squatter must have claimed the damned cottage.

This was _not_ going to be a good vacation.

As a result, I angrily swung the door open and readied my sword, only to be stunned beyond words.

"Leviathan," he laughed at me. "I only half-guess what your reaction would be."

"You're… a… _real… _piece of work," I grumbled as I sheathed my sword and saw that he'd already made dinner while he stood there, staring at me with that impish glow of his. "How in the _hell_ did you know?"

"You're not as good at hiding things as I am," Tseng casually stated as he held up the deed and the spare set of keys. Then he shrugged and offered me a glass of iced tea while he tossed the deed and the keys onto the wooden coffee table. It was handmade from a tree trunk that one of the locals made, and I defeatedly sighed as I took the glass from him and looked around.

"You were the one that was supposed to be surprised," I told him before I took a sip and then licked my lips. "Not me." He made the best iced tea. It was one of the few things that he held onto from his heritage. He got his leaves shipped from Wutai on a monthly basis.

Only, what he had that time was fresh, he brought it with him from his recent trip to Wutai, and he brewed it with cold water over night. There was just a hint of fresh honey and real stevia leaves, and a splash of a freshly picked lemon that he got in Costa Del Sol. He even freshly squeezed it himself. It was too refreshing to pass up.

"This was grown in the shade," he said, completely ignoring what I said as he held up his glass, "much better than the tea I usually drink. It's also more expensive, but I figured the drink should suit the occasion, and Champaign was out of the question."

"Because you're an alcoholic," I pointed out, partly because I was a little mad at him for ruining my surprise.

"Yes," he reluctantly admitted, "but I also recall the last time you drank, and it didn't strike me as a good idea to put you through that again, as amusing as it was."

"Sometimes, I think that's all I am to you," I said as I took another sip and he waved me to the dining table.

"What's that?" he asked as he pulled out a chair for me and I sat down.

"Something to keep you amused."

"Don't be like that," he said as he pushed me closer to the table and pecked me on the cheek. "Tonight, we dine on local cuisine," he pointed out as he charmingly waved his hand over the table to draw my attention to it, "all freshly caught, and picked, today."

Then he took the chair opposite to me and started serving out our portions with a satisfied grin while admitting, "To be honest with you, Seph, I _was_ surprised."

Then he cracked the shell on his crab and dipped the flawless piece of meat he pulled from it into the garlic-butter simmering over a small candle. "At first, I thought you were having another affair… with your constant trips here" he said, sounding somewhat uncomfortable when he said it. "Only, this time, I thought it was more serious."

"Serious?" I asked as I struggled to break the shell on my own crab leg. He made it look so easy when he did it.

"Yes," he admitted. "You were always so casual with your… well… you know. Then all of a sudden, you bought a place and kept it a secret. I thought you were keeping someone. I thought you might have found someone to replace me with. Someone that wasn't such a… 'tonberry,' as you often put it."

"Replace _you_?" I repeated as I paused and stared at him for a moment.

_Was he threatened by that?_

If so, that was a good thing, I concluded, with a slight uncertainty. _Wasn't it?_

_Was that why he was acting so strangely lately…? Was he trying to win the affection he thought he'd lost back?_

"Mmm," he mumbled while he rolled the buttered crab in his mouth and savoured it before swallowing. I was still struggling with mine.

_How in the hell did he do it so easily…? I've never even seen him eat shellfish before._

"But then you started with your _covert mission_ spiel," he playfully said while he easily cracked open another leg of his crab and pulled the meat out, entirely intact. All he was using was the prong of his fork. Mine was a shattered mess by that time. "It made me think that… Maybe I wasn't kidding myself… Maybe… you really do care."

"I _do_," I stressed, and I stopped what I was doing so that I could stress it with my stare. I wanted him to see how much he meant to me. Then he uncomfortably cleared his throat, and I tried my best to get the stringy pieces of meat out of the shell and enjoy it like he was doing. It just wasn't working.

"So," he started as he stood from his chair and came to my side. "Needless to say, you _did_ surprise me, Seph… Just not the way you thought you would."

Then he gently took the leg from my hand and took the cracking utensil from my other hand. "These things are useless," he admitted, and he grabbed my fork instead. "Do it like this," he instructed, while he showed me how he was doing it so easily. "Take the fork and stick an outer prong between the shell and the meat, and then tear it down the side by tilting it… Only use the cracker thing to soften the shell if you have a tough one, but always tear it down the side with your fork, and be careful not to tear the meat…

"See?" he said after he did it and then easily split the shell open with his fingers. "Much easier this way." Then he used the outer prong of the fork to poke the meat with it and pulled it flawlessly out of the open shell and handed it to me.

"Thank you," I humbly mumbled.

He licked his fingers before rustling my hair with his hand, and he took his seat again while expressing his gratitude, "This is amazing… I've always loved it here."

Who was this man sitting across from me? He was thankful, sharing his hidden knowledge, and enjoying himself to the fullest. It wasn't the tonberry I knew, but it was a man I could easily grow accustomed to.

Everything seemed perfect, and I found myself wishing it would never end as we finished our meals and he dragged me to the beach in our own front yard. This was a place I'd happily live forever in. We could both quit our jobs. We didn't need to work. I had more money than we'd ever need in a lifetime.

Unfortunately, I knew better than to say any of it as he impishly smiled at me and removed his clothes while stepping backwards into the warm ocean water. I couldn't understand why I could never talk him into something he obviously wanted. There were no judging eyes to watch us. We had no neighbours. Life couldn't have been any more private and perfect while I followed his lead and dropped my own clothes to the sandy ground.

He had me the day I first laid my eyes on him in Junon, and every day since then, he had me a little bit more.

Every part of me was his. Everything I owned was his. My world was his to do with as he pleased. My mind, my body, _and_ my soul, was his to command, and I was happy to be at his command. He was my only love, and I swore I'd always protect him. I'd always keep him safe.

In that perfect world, there were no monsters; life was worth living. We caught our own dinners in the ocean and ate fresh fruit from the trees. In the evenings, we let our hair dry by the fire while we cuddled and sipped on refreshing drinks and read entertaining novels.

During the day, we'd sit outside on wicker chairs with our feet up. We enjoyed the fresh ocean air. At night, we cuddled in a warm bed, listening to crickets and the waves washing the shore, tenderly admiring each other. The glow of the moon illuminated us just enough so that we could find our way, and we connected.

We laid beside each other in that bed every night, and I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me, and how much I always wanted to be there for him. I wanted him to know that he'd always be safe, he'd always be taken care of, and that I loved him.

But life was cruel. I never got to tell him any of those things, and I was never able to protect him. Instead, I was going to hurt him and condemn him. If I'd known what was going to happen, I would have told him everything he didn't want to hear me say. I wouldn't have cared that he didn't believe me after the things I'd already done, and I think… I might have tried harder to escape the fate we were inevitably heading for.


	19. Selfishly Selfless? Or Selflessly Selfis

**Selfishly Selfless? Or Selflessly Selfish?**

* * *

><p>When I was a boy, I stole from the supermarket on a cold day. My mother was sick, and she needed something warm to eat.<p>

When she realized what I'd done, she marched me back to town. Her painful limping never slowed her down, and she made me return the food and apologize.

I didn't understand why. There was nothing to feel guilty about. We were hungry. We would have been more grateful than the townspeople who had more food than they needed.

She had pride though. I always admired that about her, but I didn't understand why she was angry.

She roughly dragged me back home by my arm while I protested, and halfway there, she stopped and knelt in front of me.

"Tseng," she said, and she brushed my heavy bangs from my eyes so she could gauge my understanding of what she said next. "One day, you are going to have to learn the difference between being selfishly selfless, and selflessly selfish."

I think I was too young to fully understand the riddle, but I'm sure I partially got it.

"What does it mean to you?"

"Uh…" I hesitantly thought. "One is selfish…? The other is not?"

She shook her head at me like she was disappointed, and she looked at the ground. Then she stood and grabbed me by the arm again so she could drag me the rest of the way home.

She told me, "I want you to ask yourself that question until you figure it out."

Today, my mother was threatened because of me, without her even knowing about it, and I think about the riddle once more.

How do I put it? The way that I feel about my situation…

Every day, I look into darkness. I never know what I'm going to walk into. I don't know what's going to happen, and I never know what Genesis is thinking or doing.

A person's expression is often worth more than words, but all I have is the tone of his voice, the angry or gentle feel of his touch, the sound of his breathing, moving, and the scent of sweet apples.

Always, the scent of sweet apples. It's not just on his breath. It's him, his skin, his clothes, his hair…

It reminds me of better days, regretfully, and sometimes, it's all I have.

It offers me visions of walking through warm pathways where orchards of Banora White trees grow. The locals called them dumbapples because they bloomed at random times throughout the year. The scent of apple blossoms traveled in the warm breeze, and I regret not taking the time to appreciate it when it was real.

I have many regrets, too many, I think, but I'm not angry.

I was afraid at first, I know that much, but now, I don't know what I feel. Besides physical pain, I've grown numb. My thoughts are mostly empty, and my ambitions are gone. Every day, I wait for something unexpected, and I can only be thankful that the unexpected rarely happens any more, until recently.

Whatever set Genesis off, I can only be thankful that he came to his senses, sort of. He fights with inner demons every day, and I find it exhausting just to contemplate what that must be like.

I suppose I'm luckier than I thought I was. Whatever the demon is that lives inside of me, it remains quiet, for the most part. It shows me things, sometimes. Sometimes, it tries to help me. Other times, it tries to communicate with me. But most of the time, it seems to respect my wishes to have nothing to do with it.

Today, it ignores those wishes. It tells me it can help me. If I want, it can make everything go away. Genesis doesn't have to be my problem anymore.

_But this is all I have,_ I think. _Without him, what am I left with?_

_No more pain?_ I wonder. No. The pain I'm in has nothing to do with Genesis. _A sense of stability in my life?_ Probably not, and I snicker when I realize I have no idea what that would be like any way. Maybe, I'll no longer be locked in a prison. I can be free to roam in the fresh air again. I can survive on my own, and I suddenly wonder, _What did I survive on before Genesis found me?_

It was months, I'm guessing. I have no memory of it, and then I wonder what the real prison is, and I doubt I'll ever be free.

It promises me I'll be fine as I feel it moving within me. It feels like an invisible snake restlessly slithering through my insides, constantly coming and going until it finds its way out. It will take care of me, it tells me, and I shiver and bat at the air when I feel something moving beside me as if it's trying to comfort me.

It's that thing, I think—_those_ things. They steady me when I stumble. They feel the walls and help keep me balanced when I'm alone. They _look_ at my surroundings; at me, and they show me what they see.

It tells me it can do so much more, if only I'd let it.

At first, I did my best to shut it out for fear of losing myself to whatever it is. I feared that one day, our roles would reverse, and I'd become the one imprisoned within another being. Now, my biggest concern is that I no longer care if that happens.

_Is that good or bad?_

_Is that what I deserve?_ Maybe.

I don't think it matters that I'm not the one responsible for what's happened. All that matters is that I've probably done enough wrong in my life to deserve being devoured by something inside of me. Maybe I deserve taking the back seat while I watch my life lived out by another being. Maybe I deserve having my control taken away.

Maybe… it will do everything better than me…

Like Vincent, I believe this _thing_ is my penance, but unlike Vincent, my sins are real.

I probably deserve worse, I think, as I sit here in this room that feels cold and empty, and this thing offers to show me something it says will comfort me. It wants to show me my future.

"Not now!" I hiss, quietly as I can while batting at the stale air behind me, and I whisper in irritation for it to, "Leave me alone." Then I hear Genesis angrily kick the door from the other side while telling me to, "Quit talking to it!" and I flinch.

I guess he knows, just like he knows I still talk to an empty room as if Sephiroth were present. I don't know why I do it. I don't know why I find comfort in remembering the voice or the touch of a man I've grown to fear more than anything else, but…

Well… I suppose… it wasn't just my humanity he stole.

I assumed Genesis was still on the other side of that door, but I hoped he'd calmed down by now. He's unpredictable when he loses control, and I'd be lying if I said he didn't terrify me at times. He's so different from Sephiroth, but just as dangerous. I never know what he's going to do from one moment to the next, but today…

Today was the worst, I think, in a long time… and I heavily sigh while I feel the wall beside me and lean against it. It's cool and so hard that it's unwelcoming, but it will do for now. The cool feel is soothing to my burning skin, but the stale air does nothing for the soreness I feel in my throat.

This isn't the life I imagined living, and I pull my knees to my chest while shivering.

Then I realize that I have no idea what kind of life I imagined. There was a time that I only thought of myself. I thought of being in control, being recognized, and being respected. I thought of never having to rely on anyone other than myself.

I wanted my independence so badly that I pushed things I shouldn't have aside. The things that should have mattered never mattered in my world, and I wrap my arms around my legs while suppressing a cough, and I stare into darkness.

I should have never left Costa Del Sol, I think. Sephiroth was never happier than he was when he was there. If only things didn't turn out the way they did… I knew he wanted to stay. I knew he wanted that life. It was in his eyes, his smile, and his reluctance to leave when it was time to go, and I think…

I think I felt the same.

Would things have been different if we stayed? Would Vincent's life be better if he'd never met me?

I don't know.

For the time though, I think it's safe to say that it doesn't matter how bad things became, our lives were worth living at one time, as brief as it was.

—Tseng

* * *

><p>On one side of the door, Tseng appears deep in thought while showing signs of his awareness to Dissolution. He even bats the tendrils away, appearing irritated by them when they become visible and they start exploring.<p>

On the other side of the door, Genesis has been chanting verses by Loveless while rubbing his face in a way that suggests he wants to awaken from a bad dream.

"There is no hate, only joy…" he quietly says, as if to reassure himself. His auburn hair has become disheveled by the way he constantly runs his fingers through it, and Tseng coldly shivers while trying to lie comfortably on his side.

He's worn out and looking feverish.

"My soul, corrupted by vengeance…" Genesis sadly continues, breathing the words out more than saying them as he squirms in a way that suggests he's growing restless, and he wipes his upper lip and then runs his fingers through his hair again. "Pride is lost…"

In the cell in front of him, Tseng hoarsely mutters, "Yes, Genesis, you're broken…" For whatever reason, and he snickers while Genesis stands and stares at the door like he's in a trance, "A broken record…"

For a moment, Genesis almost takes the bait. He flinches as if he wants to storm into Tseng's cell to do whatever impulsive thing he's capable of doing next, but I think he might be wondering why Tseng would ask for the punishment.

Regardless, Genesis may have concluded that Tseng wants Genesis to get angry enough to kill him, and he takes a few deep breaths and calms himself down.

"I don't want to hear your voice right now," Genesis emptily breathes out as he tilts his head. Then he walks down the hall to the lab, leaving Tseng alone, and he starts cleaning the mess they left behind.

He starts with the trash that Tseng threw up in. Sometimes, the Restore Materia has that affect on Tseng. It tears his insides up and causes him to throw up bile or blood, or both. Other times, it's extreme stress. Tseng has a tendency to internalize his emotions so deeply that it can turn his stomach against him.

Today, it could have been either, and Genesis picks the can up, stares at the contents like he's studying it for signs of the cause, and he frowns while muttering, "I shouldn't have done that." Then he dumps the dark-coloured contents into the toilet in the nearby bathroom. It's a small room, just a sink, a toilet, and a broken mirror. The lights flicker and the old porcelain is stained with rust and fine cracks that run along the surfaces.

Genesis tried his best to restore them, and he sighs while carrying the bucket to the large sink in the lab so he can rinse it out.

"There was a time," he mutters as he walks to the table and sweeps the empty bottles of potion into the trash with his arm, "when I convinced myself you were insignificant."

Then he smirks at himself, snorts and runs his eyes over the table. Debris from Tseng's clothes and dried blood are scattered across its surface, and Genesis frowns.

"But you're all I have now," he says, and he walks to the cabinets and pulls out some rags and spray bottles before he turns his attention to the hall he came from and reluctantly admits, "You're all that's left."

With a heavy sigh, he shakes his thoughts away and starts cleaning the table while continuing with verses from Loveless. Maybe it helps him clear his head. He always seems calmer when he focuses on something to keep his mind occupied, and when he finishes cleaning, he lets out a heavy sigh, places his hands on his hips, and he observes the room as if he's satisfied with the work he put into it.

It's not spotless. It never will be, but it's the best he can do.

From there, he rummages through the cell he set up as Tseng's room. He made it as comfortable as he could by furnishing it like a bedroom. He walks to the dresser and pulls some clothes from it before disappearing into the showers.

They were public showers at one time, but they only serve two people these days. Regardless, Genesis cleaned and repaired all three stalls, and he mindlessly walks to the one he favours, the middle one, and he places the clothes on the small table across from it.

"Now… for the challenging part," he mutters as he taps his fingers on the table and stares in Tseng's direction like he's not sure if he's making the right decision. Then he lets out a deep breath and walks to Tseng's cell, pauses at the door, and opens it.

Tseng fell asleep, and Genesis tilts his head while studying him and muttering, "I guess I wore you out."

He smirks at him then, and he squats in front of the man while studying him some more.

"You're filthy," he says, almost compassionately, and he licks his thumb before bringing it to Tseng's forehead to wipe a black smudge away, and he mutters, "You're burning up." Then he runs his fingers down strands of vomit-covered hair and frowns before he nudges him.

"Wake up," he says. "I need to get you cleaned up."

"Hmph," Tseng tiredly mumbles before coughing, and he lazily pushes Genesis' hand away. "Not going… Nowhere… with you."

"Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be," Genesis warns as he rests on his heels and stares at Tseng. "You're not well, and I have no desire to fight with you again."

"No idea why you attacked me in the first place…" Tseng tiredly grumbles, and he adjusts himself for comfort and attempts to fall back to sleep while muttering, "and it's your fault I'm not well."

With a passing expression of guilt, Genesis closes his eyes and shakes his head. He knows it's another side-effect of the materia. Then he urges, "Just get up so I can get you cleaned up and cooled off," while trying to get Tseng to sit up.

"I'm tired," Tseng grumbles as he weekly tries to push Genesis away so he can return to the uncomfortable floor. "You can pretend I'm you're plaything later."

"Hmph," Genesis snorts while smirking at Tseng before he strokes his filthy hair and soothes, "I have no desire to make you do anything you're not ready to do." Then he rests his hand on Tseng's cheek and lightly strokes it with his thumb. "But my conscience won't allow me to let you remain drenched in your own filth any longer."

Tseng snickers at his words and bats his hand away.

"What's so funny?"

"All of it?" Tseng hoarsely asks, mocking in tone as if to say that Genesis should have seen the absurdity of everything he just said. "Or maybe it was the part about not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do, or the fact that you think you have a conscience…"

Tseng laughs more boldly and starts coughing because of it, and Genesis' expression turns dour. "Why do you always try to push me?" he asks. "Are you addicted to the consequences?"

"Maybe I've just learned that it doesn't matter what I do or say," Tseng informs as he tiredly sits and faces Genesis' general direction. "You'd go on a psychotic rampage even if I were a limbless mute."

"Hmph," Genesis snorts. Then he smirks and repeats, "A limbless mute…" and he runs his hand over Tseng's shoulder and stares at it. "Perhaps it's not such a bad idea," he muses as he leans closer to Tseng and brushes his mouth against his ear. "I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I go on a psychotic rampage."

Tseng sneers at the comment before he snorts into Genesis' ear and bitterly says, "One would think you'd want to leave my _tongue_ in tact."

"Yes," Genesis agrees as he nods. "Your… _talented_ tongue… without that, you'd have nothing to choke on."

Tseng bitterly snickers at him. Then he lightly brushes his nose against his tormentor's ear and smiles when Genesis involuntarily shudders. His hand falls to Genesis' thigh, and for whatever reason, he hoarsely whispers as he lightly squeezes, "I was under the impression you enjoyed what I could do with my tongue… Be it… _in_ you… _on_ you… Or… _wrapped_ around your—"

"_Stop_ there," Genesis warns as he pushes Tseng away and Tseng laughs at him as he falls back to the floor. He laughs even louder and starts coughing when Genesis states, "I think your fever is messing with your head."

Then he grabs Tseng's arm and pushes the sleeve up while suggesting, "It would be best for your health if you kept that _talented_ tongue of yours _still_."

"Mm-hm," Tseng complacently agrees while tiredly nodding as Genesis ties a tourniquet around his upper arm, and he does nothing to stop him. He just turns his head to the side and allows Genesis to find a vein. His breathing becomes relaxed and deeper as Genesis pulls the cap from the needle he brought with him, and then Genesis pauses right before he's about to insert it into Tseng's arm.

"I see…" he suddenly mutters as he pulls the needle away and Tseng quirks his brow. Then he changes his mind and puts the cap back on the unused needle and roughly pulls the tourniquet off. "That's what this is turning into."

"You lost me at, 'I see,'" Tseng mutters, almost sounding annoyed before he coughs and wipes at his nose with his sleeve, and Genesis studies him with a strange regret.

"You've become addicted to the drugs," Genesis muses. "I should have seen it."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You've become far worse at endangering yourself since I started drugging you, and you've been far nastier and riskier with everything that comes out of your mouth. I should have realized you were only doing it when it was getting close to your next _fix_."

"It dulls the pain," Tseng numbly admits as he closes his eyes and Genesis pulls him to his feet.

Then Genesis drops the needle on the floor and crushes it beneath his boot. "Well…" he says as he turns his attention back to the weak and shaky man in his arms. "We'll have no more of that."

"Bummer," is the only thing that comes out of Tseng's mouth. It comes out disappointed and almost annoyed, and Genesis grits his teeth while aiding Tseng out of the room.

"I was drugging you to keep you from wandering," he admits as he takes Tseng down the hall. "But that didn't seem to work, did it?"

"I heard a cat," Tseng tiredly mumbles as he staggers and limps beside Genesis, almost trying to avoid pressing his feet to the ground as if they hurt.

"A cat," Genesis repeats. Then he stops and presses Tseng's back to the wall while pushing his hair from his face so he can study his expression when he says it again. "A… _Cat_?"

"Yes," Tseng reluctantly admits while grimacing. "I hear it every day… I wanted…" He tiredly trails off, "Wanted…"

"Wanted what?" Genesis asks as he impatiently smacks the side of Tseng's face to get his attention.

"I wanted… a cat," he says, "Want… _want_… a _cat_."

"By the Goddess…" Genesis grumbles in disbelief as he slings Tseng's arm over his shoulder and puts his other arm around Tseng's waist to support him better. Then he escorts him to the showers while grumbling that. "You nearly got yourself killed… for a _cat_?"

"It wasn't worth it," Tseng weakly snickers out, and then he uncomfortably rubs his arm against his hip to scratch it and starts coughing again.

"You should have said something to me then," he scolds as he sits Tseng on a small wooden bench across from the showers and removes his own shirt before struggling to remove Tseng's. "If you wanted a cat, I would have gotten you one," he tells him.

Then he pauses when he goes for Tseng's belt and Tseng flinches. It causes Genesis to stop and stand while stating, "You need to get out of those clothes. They're filthy and you've soiled yourself."

"How humiliating," Tseng admits. Though his tone suggests he doesn't really care and he looks like he's about to fall asleep again. Then he shakes his head and mumbles, "Dunwant your help… Can do it myself… if you dunmind." Genesis takes a step back while undoing his own belt, and he simultaneously kicks off his boots. He nods like he understands Tseng's reluctance, and he almost looks regretful.

"Do you still want the cat?" he asks, as he removes his pants and Tseng clumsily struggles with his own.

"What cat?" Tseng asks, almost slurring his words as he nearly falls from the bench when he tries to stand, and Genesis pushes him back into place.

"The cat you said you were looking for," Genesis reminds him, growing slightly irritated and suspicious before he roughly pushes Tseng's shoulder against the wall and demands, "Was there, or wasn't there, a cat?"

"It's there everyday…" Tseng says. "I hear it… meow… meowinnnggg."

"By the Goddess," Genesis grumbles again as he pulls Tseng to his feet and asks after he yanks Tseng's shirt off "Are you going to remove your underwear, or should I?"

"How do I know I cantrust… you?" Tseng sullenly asks, and he grabs onto the elastic of his underwear and hangs onto it to suggest he doesn't want to take it off. His other arm is wrapped around Genesis' neck and he's closer to his face than I think he realizes while he clumsily sways in Genesis' arms. He's still exhausted and growing more feverish, and he's not thinking clearly.

"I doubt you can," Genesis flatly tells him, almost a little too quietly, and he emptily stares at Tseng's mouth. "Unfortunately, you're too much of a wreck to shower yourself right now… aren't you?"

"Only taking part of the blame… for that," Tseng breathes out as Genesis adjusts him so they're more beside each other instead of in front of each other, and he reaches for the taps with his other arm. "The rest was your doing."

"Reminding me of that right now isn't the best of ideas," Genesis breathily warns, "especially after the empty innuendos you were just making." Then he turns his attention back to Tseng and looks down at his grey underwear, "And you need to take those off."

"No." Tseng smirks as he pulls the elastic slightly higher in defiance and reluctantly admits that, "It's my last line of defence against you."

"You'll need more than that to defend yourself against me," Genesis eerily warns. "And you can't shower with them on."

"Dunsee why not," Tseng states as he shrugs over it. "Shy women… do it."

"Women?" Genesis mockingly asks.

"Yesss," Tseng answers. "That's what you want… me to be… Isn't it?" Then he bitterly snickers as he weakly pushes Genesis and stumbles backwards, almost slipping before Genesis grabs him. "Makes it easier for you… to be attracted… to someone you enjoyed… being fucked by."

"You nauseate me," Genesis tells him as he yanks him upright and pulls him into the shower. "Hopefully, this cold shower will clear your muddled mind… and you can keep your damned underwear on."

"Geez…" Tseng breathes out, mocking his surprise as Genesis pushes his head into the stream of water. "Thank you… so much for… pffft."

"Any time," Genesis smoothly says, retorting with his own mockery as Tseng spits a mouthful of water onto his chest.

Genesis doesn't appear bothered by it though, and he smirks at Tseng with a mild hunger in his eyes as he runs his fingers through to the ends of Tseng's hair to make sure the water has completely drenched it. It's grown so long since he was a Turk, and it almost reaches the small of his back.

When Genesis is done cleaning Tseng's hair and scrubbing him down, he towels the man off and sits him on the bench while muttering, "I brought you clean clothes." Then he kneels in front of Tseng and inspects the leg that was broken. "Hopefully, you'll exchange your underwear for the clean pair."

There are new scars on Tseng. They look like they healed years ago, but Genesis is well-aware of every mark on Tseng's body and knows they're new. He intently watches the man every time they bathe, and he narrows his eyes while staring at Tseng's unmarked hands; then his unmarked face.

"I'm not going to change in front of you," Tseng says as he feels beside him for the clean clothes and puts them on his lap. He appears a little more clear headed from the shower, and Genesis shakes his head while turning his attention to Tseng's scarred feet that appear tender.

"I've seen you naked before," Genesis distantly mutters while returning his attention to Tseng's hands, "many times."

Then he grabs Tseng's hand and looks at his palm before Tseng quickly snatches his hand away. "Yes," Tseng admits. "But after your last episode…"

"I think you're trying to drive me mad," Genesis angrily retorts.

"You're already mad."

"Can you blame me?" he astonishingly asks. "If you're not _digging_ under my skin with that pretty little mouth of yours, you're playing with my emo—oh-no…haha… I don't want to give you something _else_ to mess with, and It _wasn't_ an _episode_," Genesis argues as he looks at Tseng's eyes and grumbles that, "your damned _affliction_ has left you fragile and _defenceless_."

"Oh," Tseng realizes as he quirks his brow and snickers out, "that's why you attacked me… My helpless state pissed you off."

"No," Genesis tiredly breathes out as he stands and stares down at the man, and for whatever reason, he decides to be somewhat honest with Tseng. "There is a man out there…"

"I'm not an idiot, Genesis… I already know that," Tseng admits. "He's following us…"

"Oh?" Genesis melodically asks. "Did you also know that it's because he's hunting _you_…?"

"Me?" Tseng asks, feigning surprise as he adds, "I thought you told me… everyone thought I was dead."

"_Not_ everyone," Genesis admits before he continues. "If this man gets his hands on you, he will hurt you, torture you, and keep you a prisoner until he gets what he wants… He knows no mercy."

Tseng only laughs, genuinely, and his fingers curl around the folds of the clothes on his lap as he pulls them closer to his abdomen as if he's heard enough and is ready to discontinue the topic and get dressed instead. Then he points out the irony, the way he sees it, while acting slightly confused as he says, "So… he'll be doing… _exactly_… what _you_ do…?"

"You _don't_ understand," Genesis angrily spits out as he grabs Tseng's jaw and pushes his head against the wall.

"I understand more… than you give me credit for, Genesis," Tseng coldly replies, while trying not to grimace. Then he bitterly smirks. "You're not concerned… about my well-being… You never were… You're… _threatened_ …that he'll take… _me_… away… from _you_."

* * *

><p>There are times when I wonder what would have happened if Tseng and I stayed in Costa Del Sol. How different would our lives have been?<p>

I'm not sure, but sometimes, I can't help but wonder if we could have changed our fates.

That year, the Wutian army began resorting to terrorism more aggressively than it did in the past. They sent troops into Midgar under disguise, and our world was slowly turning upside down. We didn't see it though; we kept our eyes closed.

We were too busy with our own lives and orders to notice the subtle changes taking place.

Both Tseng and Angeal had taken to mentoring the young soldier named Zack Fair. They were both fond of the boy and impressed with his eagerness to rise through the ranks. He was ambitious and able, but as Tseng also put it, "That boy is just so gullible."

"He amuses you?" I asked, and Tseng nodded while curling his finger over his mouth.

"He's like a small beam of light at the end of a dark tunnel." Then he lowered his gaze to the floor while he stood in front of the window to his office and said, "I can't help but worry about him sometimes."

"Why's that?" I asked as I put the paper I was reading back onto his desk and stared at his back.

"Sometimes, I think this place is too dark for someone so innocent."

"Well," I said as I stretched my back and came to his side. "He's smart and able enough to rise to 2nd class faster than anyone I've ever seen. Perhaps you're overestimating his innocence."

"Perhaps," Tseng agreed. Then he turned to me and smiled before asking if I was ready for lunch.

Angeal was also in the same mindset as Tseng with the boy. He liked him and often said the same things Tseng would say about him, with one addition. "He's like a lost puppy," he would say while shaking his head and laughing about it. "And he's so gullible."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be making fun of him at his expense," I offered, and Angeal would often admit that he couldn't help it.

"Everywhere I go, he's at my heels," he said. "Sometimes, I'm afraid I might even trip over him, but…" He paused for a moment and shook his head again, "I've never seen someone so ambitious and eager while remaining so damned innocent."

"You sound like Tseng," I mused as we walked down the hall and Zack came running up behind us, calling his name.

"Angeal!"

"Well," Angeal paused as he turned to face the boy and spoke to me, "I can't help but admit that I'm honoured you'd say I sound like someone as intelligent as him." Then he wryly snickered and knowingly looked at me while jibing, "Despite his bad taste."

"What can I say?" I said as the boy approached and slouched forward to catch his breath. "I'm honoured that you're honoured," and then I walked away while Angeal clapped his large hand on the boy's shoulder and teasingly said, "It looks like you're ready for more training."

I guess I understood that they liked the boy, but I didn't feel the same way. I didn't share in their enthusiasm over how promising he seemed, or how charming he was. Even the innocence they all spoke of seemed like nothing more than a veil to the boy's stupidity. To me, Zack 'The Puppy' was just that—an annoying little puppy with large blue eyes that was desperate for attention.

* * *

><p>"Something smells good," I noted as I walked into the apartment, removed my gloves, and hung my coat. It was at the end of the day and Tseng was in the kitchen making something he must have felt inspired to make.<p>

His hair was still tied back and he'd changed from his work clothes into something casual. His sleeves were rolled up and he was smiling while stirring something in a large pan. It smelled better than it looked, I noted, and I put my arms around him from behind, inhaled his unique scent, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"_What_ is _that_?" I asked as I squeezed his waist and he chuckled.

"It's an idea," he cockily answered as he reached for his cutting board and swept the garlic from it into the pan.

"Mmm," I moaned while rocking him and sarcastically saying, "an idea sounds delicious."

He shyly smiled, like he always did. It was the only boyish quality I ever noticed of him. It was the only part of him that lacked confidence, and it always made me smile too. I never wanted to see that smile disappear like it did years ago, and I kissed him on the cheek before reaching for a piece of the grilled chicken he had on a plate.

"Don't!" he warned as he smacked my hand with the spatula and grabbed it back, leaving me a small torn piece that I quickly stuffed into my mouth as I smiled at him and snorted. "I hate it when you do that," he grumbled. "Those are for dinner; not for snacking."

"You hate everything I do," I casually retorted as I walked to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

When dinner was ready, we both sat at the table and I stared at my dinner while poking it with a fork. "You gonna tell me what this is?" I asked as I brought my fork to my nose and sniffed it.

"I will after you try it," he said, and then he reluctantly stuffed a bite into his mouth, which didn't persuade me to want to try it, and he looked pleasantly surprised afterwards. So, I did the same and decided that it wasn't bad. It was unusual looking, a bit like slop, but it smelled and tasted delicious. "You know Zack?" he asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and poured some tea into his cup.

"Doesn't everyone?" I answered, while silently thinking that I didn't want to be talking about Zack. Everyone talked about Zack.

Zack, Zack, Zack… All day, everyday…

"Well," Tseng snickered as he picked up his fork again. "He was telling me about this place he ate at the other night."

"Fascinating," I said with disinterest and took another bite while slowly working my foot up his pant-leg, and he kicked my shin as a warning.

Then he frowned at me and swallowed the mouthful he took. "Anyway… he was telling me what he had for dinner the other night and I thought it sounded good," he said as he shrugged and took another bite, and I looked at him while slowly pulling the food from my fork in a suggestive manner.

"Oooh," I slowly purred and rolled my eyes. "You _must_ tell me where this story is going."

"Why are you being such a jerk?" he suddenly asked as he dropped his fork onto his plate and glared at me.

"I'm not being a jerk," I calmly defended before taking another bite and adding, "This is good. I was just expressing my interest in this wonderful story involving Zack."

"You mean your disinterest."

"Call it what you will."

He knitted his brows at me and picked up his fork again. Then he hesitated and asked, "Why don't you like him?"

"I don't _not_ like him," I said with a shrug. Then I muttered as I brought my fork back to my mouth, "I just don't like him."

That made him frown, and he angrily said, "That's exactly what I just said."

"So it is," I carelessly admitted as I slowly pulled another bite from my fork while lustily staring at him, and he sneered at me. It sent pleasant chills down my spine.

"Why?" he asked again after he returned to his dinner. "He never did anything to you and he seems like your idea of an exemplary Soldier."

"He's an idiot and he irritates me," I plainly told him, and I took another bite.

"Okay," he said. "I can see why he irritates your stuffy expectations, but he's certainly not an idiot."

"Then the rest of you are idiots for not seeing it."

"Seeing what?"

"You wouldn't understand. You're too enamoured by his 'stray little puppy' charms."

"Leviathan," Tseng grumbled as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and then tossed it on top of his food. "You're acting like you're jealous."

"Oh," I sang out. "I'm not as jealous as I am irritated by him." Then I dug my fork into my food and grumbled about finding everyone else's infatuation with him irritating as well, and Tseng swore at me in Wutian.

"You know, saying it in Wutian doesn't hide the fact that you have a foul little mouth," I pointed out as he dumped his food in the garbage before rinsing his plate. "Nor does it sound any less sexy," I taunted as I merely wondered why he was wasting his food while I decided to finish my dinner.

Then he placed his hands on the table, leaned forward, and glared at me.

"Oooh," I purred before slowly pulling another bite from my fork while sitting back, and I openly shivered in excitement while undoing my pants to show him how I could help him cool off. I'm not really sure why he suddenly spat out, "Go _fuck_ yourself, Sephiroth!"

"You keep acting like a nasty little tonberry for no reason, and I just might have to do something about that," I coyly said as I leaned forward and loaded my fork up again, and he stormed off into the bathroom and ran a bath while I snickered to myself at his hotheaded temper.

"Crazy little tonberry," I muttered to myself and shook my head. Then I did my pants back up and finished my dinner before rinsing my plate off.

* * *

><p>When Tseng emerged from his stress-relieving bath, I was laying across the sofa and flipping through the channels. Given his unpredictable mood though, I quickly turned the television off and chose to focus on him instead.<p>

"Another headache?" I asked when I caught the scent of lavender wafting from the bathroom, and he shook his head.

"No," he answered as he calmly sat in the chair and put his head back. "I haven't had one since I started adding that stuff to my baths."

"So," I assumed as I stared between his legs and smiled at what his short robe didn't conceal. "It's working?"

"I didn't say that," he grumbled, and I sat up.

"You can't handle it when I'm right about something," I playfully jibed. "Can you?"

"I never said you were right."

"No…" I agreed as I scooted to the side of the couch that was closest to his chair. "You don't have to say it. Knowing it is enough to drive you crazy."

"Leviathan…" he muttered as he looked at me and quickly closed his legs when he saw where my attention was, and then he sat up while adjusting his robe so that it fell concealingly over his lap.

"You're such a prude," I teasingly pointed out. "Don't you know how much that ruins the fun?"

"Obviously," Tseng bantered back, "I don't care."

"Awww," I grumbled, pretending to be upset by his comment as I sat back and realized that, "You never did tell me what it was that you made for dinner."

"Because you're a jackass and you wouldn't let me finish."

"I never stopped you from talking," I pointed out. "You were the one that got offended for no reason."

"I wasn't offended, Seph," Tseng argued. "I was pissed off. There's a difference."

"Whatever," I said as I contently closed my eyes. "They mean the same thing to me."

With a big sigh, Tseng sat forward and rested his hands on his knees while admitting, "I know you don't like Zack."

"What gave it away?" I sarcastically asked while glancing at him with one eye, and he shook his head in irritation while choosing to ignore me.

"If you weren't such a jerk about it, you would have realized there was a point to my story."

"Fine," I muttered as I dismissively waved my hand at him. "Go ahead and finish your story."

Then he muttered something in Wutian at me and decided to tell his story. It turned out that Zack ate at some fancy restaurant the other night and was telling Tseng how great his meal was, and Tseng, being a man that loves to taste his food, decided to ask him to describe it so he could try to re-create it.

"Hm," I tiredly muttered. Then I took a deep breath and wryly breathed out, "Coming from a backwoods town like Gongaga, I'm surprised you didn't realize everything probably tastes good to him." Then I sat forward and grumbled. "The colour of his walls probably fascinate him."

"Leviathan," Tseng grumbled as he got up. "I have no idea why I talk to you sometimes." Then he walked back to the bathroom and grumbled some more. "It's like you deliberately go out of your way to be a dick."

"I only do it to get you fired up," I teasingly admitted, and he snorted in distaste.

"Well, it's working."

"Good," I said as I got up and slowly walked towards him while he combed his hair, "because you are the hottest little tonberry I've ever seen when you're fired up."

"Ugh," he grumbled when I stood behind him and put my arms around his waist. "I swear you have a one-track mind."

"I can't help it," I purred as I watched him in the mirror and slowly moved my hand lower. "You're so much more fun when you're angry."

"Mmm," he moaned as I nuzzled my face into his neck and he put his head back on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

"You like this?" I asked while rhythmically moving my hand and watching him in the mirror. "Yesss," I purred as he rubbed my hips with his palms and I kissed his neck. "You do… Don't you…?"

"Seph…"

"That's right…" I soothingly said as I moved against him and his breathing began to quicken. "Say my name…"

"Ah…"

"You know it…" Then I smiled at him in the mirror as he turned to putty in my hands. "It's all I want to hear from you…"

"Nnnng… Seph…"

"Keep saying my name, Little Tonberry…" I provocatively urged while his other hand ran through my hair, messing it up, and his body moved with mine.

"Make love to me," he breathed out.

"No," I muttered, "My little tonberry doesn't get to make demands right now."

"Ah… Seph…"

"Yesss… That's what I want you to say when you cum," I urged, watching him move as he pulled my fingers into his mouth and suggestively suckled on them. "No gods… No… repressed moans… just… my… name…" Then I undid his robe so I could see all of him in the mirror. "Tonight… I'm your god."

If I had a god, I would have been on my knees thanking it at that point. Seeing my little tonberry with his robe half hanging off, his eyes closed, and the way that he desperately moved his body against mine, was enough to make me wish I had one.

But as it was, there was only one thing I worshipped in that brightly lit room that night, and it was a lying, hotheaded, half-Wutian Turk who couldn't put together a coherent sentence if he wanted to.

"Agh…! ah…!

"Say it… tonberry… You're sooo close right now… I can feel it…"

"Nn—"

Then I whispered into his ear, things he normally would have slapped me for, and he finally said it with the feverish pitch I was hoping for.

"Yesss…" I purred. "That's my little tonberry."

He said it more than once, as if it were an act of desperation, and I wrapped my arms around him while he panted and went limp.

"Mmmm," I moaned as I listened to his racing heart and slowly licked my fingers. "You… are so… hot."

"Stop talking," he tiredly breathed out, and I kissed his neck to show my appreciation.

I knew it was hard for him to feel like he was on display. I also knew how hard it was for him to completely let go like that, but there was still a lingering afterglow from our trip to Costa Del Sol and I had to drink it in before it completely faded away.

His beautiful body was reflected back to me in that mirror, and I carefully pulled his robe over his chest as if I didn't want to disturb him too much. It was out of respect, and I placed my chin on his shoulder and thought about how much I wanted to marry him, if only he could let go of his insane insecurities.

* * *

><p>"You did <em>what<em>?" Angeal asked. We were walking from the stairwell to the roof and he was confounded. Genesis only snorted and kept his head down so I couldn't see his expression, and when I shrugged as we walked onto the roof, Angeal stood in front of me and held up his hand to block me from going any farther. "Are you _insane_?"

I shrugged. Maybe I was. I never really knew the answer to that question while I looked at the gravel beneath my feet and ignored the breeze as it blew my hair in front of my face. It was colourless, white, and I hated it.

But that wasn't what was making me anxious.

"I asked him to marry me," I said again, and Genesis let out an obvious snort as he dismissively waved his hand at me and walked towards the bench, turning his back to us.

"I heard that part," Angeal told me as he quickly glanced at Genesis with an expression I couldn't decipher.

"Then why did you ask me to repeat myself?"

"I didn't…" he said as he shook his head and scratched at the back of his neck like he was perplexed. "I just… I don't understand why you keep trying to pound the same nail into the same coffin when it obviously won't stay put."

"I don't know what that means," I told him, and Genesis snickered while rubbing his knee as if to scratch his palm on it.

"Of course you don't," he melodically said as he sat back and sprawled his legs out. "You lack worldly vision."

"What the hell is that?" I asked, annoyed as I turned to Genesis, and he stared at me like he were toying with me, challenging me, and maybe even amused by me.

"It means," he said as he sat forward and smirked, resting his forearms on his knees and staring at me with a demeaning look in his eyes, "That you have tunnel vision."

"Genesis…" Angeal warned as he shook his head. "Be nice."

"I _am_ being nice," he casually said as he smirked at me. Then he sat back and waved his hand in the air while suggesting, "I was merely trying to help him understand that he's an idiot when it comes to his precious little _Turk_."

"All three of you are nearly the same height," Angeal pointed out, and Genesis rolled his eyes. "Why do you guys keep referring to him as _little_?"

"Coined term…" Genesis lazily explained as he waved his hand at Angeal and turned his head away. "Plus, he's a skinny little waif." Then he snickered and wryly curled his lips when he returned his attention to Angeal and added, almost vindictively. "I could rip him to shreds with my bare hands if I wanted to."

"I don't know why you'd want to," Angeal said, almost warning Genesis in case he was serious before he returned his attention to me and said, "And you… I have to agree with Genesis on this one."

I just stared at him after quickly narrowing my eyes and side-glancing at Genesis and his catty grin.

"You _are_ an idiot when it comes to that man."

"Fine." I surrendered. "I'm an idiot." Then I turned away and Angeal grabbed me by the upper arm to get my attention.

"No, Sephiroth," he said as he looked me in the eyes with a determined stare. "You've said it yourself. You can't even tell the man that you 'love' him. He won't let you, and he never says it to you. You've made it clear that it bothers you."

"I never said that," I responded, and Genesis snorted in amusement.

"You don't have to," Angeal said. "It's written all over your face, and let's not mention the times you've asked him to run away with you, or worse, the times you've _begged_ him to openly admit that he's in a relationship with you. You _want_ everyone to know, and he selfishly ignores what that means to you."

"It's not easy for him," I defended. "He has issues."

"No shit," Angeal sarcastically said, and Genesis snorted again, but this time, it sounded more like a disgusted snort before he chimed in as if he were growing bored.

"So, tell us, Dear Friend," he said, and he stood for the sake of drama. "_What,_ exactly, _did_, your little tonberry say when you asked him to _marry_ you?"

"He didn't say anything," I said under my breath as I looked down. "He just… left… I haven't seen him since."

"Well," Genesis melodically said with a cruel grin. "Isn't… that… amusing…"

That's what happened. Tseng and I got into bed that night. He thanked me for the bathroom by returning the favour. Though, he used more than just his hands and he didn't feel the need to watch me.

When I was done, he crawled up my body and stared down at me with what I thought were adoring eyes.

I stroked his cheek. He stroked mine. Then he kissed me.

I don't know what I was thinking, if anything at all, and rather than think it like I normally did, I euphorically blurted out, "Let's get married."

It took less than a second for those warm brown eyes to turn cold and black. He hesitated, and then he got up, got dressed, and walked out without a word.

He said nothing. He didn't even look at me, and I did nothing to stop him.

* * *

><p>Tseng didn't show up for work that day either. I overheard Lazard saying that he called in and something came up. He thought nothing of it since there wasn't much to do that day any way. As far as Lazard was concerned, it was about time Tseng took some time off for himself.<p>

That was fine, I supposed. I knew I never should have asked Tseng such a serious question, but at the same time, it was just a question. I had every right to ask it, so I told myself, and I went home to an empty apartment and pulled a steak out of my bag of groceries.

Since he wasn't there, I'd eat the way I felt like eating, and I slapped it onto the frying pan and turned the heat on high, just to seer the outsides. Genesis and Angeal were right. I was an idiot, even Tseng pointed it out on countless occasions.

But… I did nothing wrong….

It was just words. They were easily dismissed. It wasn't like I hurt him or betrayed him like I've done in the past. It was just… a stupid… question.

* * *

><p>That night, I stayed up later than usual. Maybe it was because I was hoping for something, or anything, but when nothing happened, I sighed and turned out the last light in the main area. I grabbed a book before I got into bed that I can't recall the name of. It was just a book I grabbed from a shelf full of books, and I slid into bed with it.<p>

It was fine; everything was fine.

I had the place to myself and I could leave my socks on the floor where I left them. It didn't matter that it bothered me because they didn't belong there. All that mattered was that there wasn't someone else in the room telling me they didn't belong there, and I opened the book and stared at blurry pages.

I wasn't teary. I don't recall ever shedding a tear, or even feeling like crying. Not once in my life, do I even think my eyes watered like most people's.

No. What I felt was empty. I knew what I wanted and I knew I couldn't have it, and it left me empty. If that was sad; then maybe I was sad, but to me, I was just empty.

I was so empty that I didn't care about focusing on the words in front of me. So, I let it go. They blurred into a pastel grey and faded away. The sound of the static in the air grew louder in my ears. It was a distant hum, a ringing, that led way to a lull, and then to the quiet sound of a key turning in the front door, it opening, and quietly closing.

"Hm," I quietly muttered to myself as I closed the book and stared at the bedroom door.

I was patient. I'd been patient with him for over six years, and I knew I could do it for the rest of my life, if not for eternity. I could hear him quietly putting his keys away, as if not to disturb me. He quietly took his shoes off and removed his coat, and he made his dishevelled appearance at the door to our room.

His pony tail was loose and strands of hair fell about his face, oddly framing it. His clothes were in disarray. He had a bruise on his cheek and his knuckles were raw, and he stared straight ahead as if he were unaware of my presence.

"What happened to you?" I asked, unable to sound like I really cared, and he ignored me and sat on the edge of the bed, still staring ahead.

"I've been thinking," he quietly said, almost like he was in a trance.

"Fascinating," I responded, and then I opened my book and looked at the blurry pages again, which was also just as fascinating.

"My wife died…" he suddenly said. "She killed…" Then he stopped and shook his head while I closed my book again and looked at him. "I said I'd never fall into that trap again, and then I almost did."

"Almost?" I curiously asked.

"You were so easy to fall in love with," he airily breathed out, and then he wiped his upper lip. "Everything…" With another shake to his head to regain himself, he continued. "You were there for me… You stuck with me… You made sacrifices for me… I noticed and I wasn't thankful."

"I didn't do it for thanks," I admitted, and he nodded.

"No…" he agreed. "There was no thanks, just me… growing more and more aware that I wasn't the only one in your life, and that I no longer wanted to be in your life because of it."

"Oh," I muttered. _'That's' what I did wrong…_

"I'm not like you."

"I know."

"No…" he said as he shook his head again. All the while, he continued to look ahead. "I mean… You 're an open book… You enjoy fighting… You live for it, but… I feel shame." Then he softly laughed at himself and rubbed his palms on his thighs. "With every wrong I do… every lie I tell… it grows," he said, and he placed his hand over his chest and stated, "Here."

"Then stop doing it."

"I can't." He snickered, and he quickly shook his leg. "Tonight, I might tell you…" he steadily started, "That I went to Wall Market and paid to get into the ring… It was free boxing night, and you can check to verify that. This bruise..." he said as he drew attention to his cheek, and then he held out his hands and spread his fingers while staring at them, "and these knuckles…"

"Okay…" I cautiously urged.

Then he nodded. "What I might not tell you…" he said just as steadily. "Is that none of that happened."

"So…" I said as I sat up a little anxiously, "What _did_ you do?"

"Maybe, I did exactly what I told you I did." Then he turned to me and said, "Or maybe I did more, or none of it… There are many things I could have done that would have led to the smell of Wall Market on my clothes and my appearance right now, and there are many stories I could tell you that could be true, like the one I just told you."

All I did was scratch my head while he mockingly smirked at me with a slight bitterness in his eyes.

"That's how I live, Seph," he admitted. "Every day, nearly every minute, I make up stories, and Shinra makes up stories, and I have to make sure that every story matches and doesn't leave any room for suspicion, or questions that might lead to a hole in that one, or any of my other stories."

"It doesn't sound worth it," I admitted, and he slowly nodded.

"I've been lying to everyone," he said. "I've left no room to doubt that you and I are nothing more than friends in everyone else's eyes."

"I'm well aware of that," I said with a slight bitterness in my tone.

"What I'm saying, Seph," he steadily informed, "is that I also lie to you, because it's what Shinra wants. Each lie I tell is connected to another lie, and the more I tell, the more interconnected they become, and the more interconnected they become, the harder it becomes to turn one of those stories around.

"For example, if I were to suddenly admit what you and I are to each other, everything else I've ever said loses credibility."

"You're putting way too much thought into this," I argued. "_No_ one is going to nitpick at everything you've ever said just because you woke up one day and realized you were gay."

"Hm," he thoughtfully muttered. "That is a lie in itself." Then he took a deep breath and stood while saying, "I've always known." He removed his tie after that, and then he rubbed at his neck as if it were sore. "But I lied about it when I met Marina… I lied to my own mother, my daughter, and everyone else around me while I was sleeping with you in empty offices and closets."

Then he snickered at himself and studied his tie before he dropped it in the waste basket.

"I even lied to myself."

At that, he walked to his drawer and pulled out his gun and checked the materia slots on it, and he muttered out a cure spell for his wounds. He closed his eyes as the wave went through his body. Then he took a deep breath and put the gun back while muttering, "This stuff works so well."

He wryly smiled at that, and he came back to the bed to sit while he removed his socks. The bruise on his cheek and the redness on his knuckles were already clearing up and his energy was returning at a satisfactory rate while he asked, "Do you ever wonder what this stuff really does to our bodies in the long term?"

"I've never thought about it," I said.

"Hmph," he snorted out while factually stating, "when I was in medical training, we learned that you could use it to torture someone with. It's been known to cause chronic conditions, or even kill people."

"I recall learning something about that in Soldier," I admitted, but I still never gave it much thought since we didn't use it repetitively like a moron. We just used it whenever we needed it.

"They say it's painful and can wind up doing the opposite of what it's designed to do," he mused as he pulled the elastic from his hair and combed it out with his fingers, and I said, "I wouldn't know," as I clasped my hands over my abdomen.

I think I might have been mad at him. He walked in like nothing happened, and then he went on about random topics and spun confusing lies like he did every other night. Was I supposed to just ignore everything? Should I have just played the game and continued on the path we seemed to be on, which was nowhere?

I wasn't sure.

That was, until he took a deep breath and thoughtfully looked at me for a moment, and he reluctantly admitted, "If I were to say, 'yes', how do I know I can trust you?"

"About the same as I know I can trust you," I offered, admittedly sounding confused.

He nodded. "I can't tell anyone," he said. "I don't want anyone to know. Everyone knows how you've slept around and I'd be embarrassed to admit I was stupid enough to be with you, let alone to have stayed with you after that. I'd want to keep my name and never wear a ring."

"Then I'd do the same," I slowly agreed, somewhat wondering if we were talking about the same thing and where the conversation was going.

"To be honest, Seph," he tactfully stated, "I don't see the point in doing it if we keep it that big of a secret."

I just shrugged, and then I admitted without thinking that, "I'm not asking you for public recognition."

"What are you asking me for then?" he asked.

"Just…" I hesitated as I thought about it and studied him. His eyes weren't cold or warm, but there was something searching inside of them, like he was seriously weighing the pros and cons for something that had no logic. That's when it hit me. We had no bond like committed couples had, and that was what I wanted. "I want a contract."

"A contract?" he slowly asked as he quirked his brow and appeared a little offended. "Like… a property contract?"

"And you say _I'm_ dense," I grumbled as I put the book on the night stand and laid back down.

"I don't understand," he admitted as he undid his shirt. "Are we having a fight right now?"

"We're having whatever it is you want to be having right now," I bitterly growled as I pulled the covers up and fluffed my pillow. "You're the one that wanders off and does whatever the hell you feel like doing, and you're the one that comes home and acts like nothing ever happened."

"I have commitment issues, Seph," he admitted as he tossed his shirt in the waste basket as well.

"Right…" I lowly sang out, "And that gives you all the rights you need to make excuses to not do something you're already doing."

"Leviathan…" he muttered as he slipped out of his pants. "Is that what this is about? You need me to sign some useless papers and make an oath in front of someone of authority just to _prove_ something that's obvious?"

"Interesting that you always manage to leave that one word out,"

"What word is that?" he sarcastically asked as he dropped his pants into the waste basket and then picked it up to do whatever the hell it was he was going to do next.

"You know damned well which word," I angrily growled at him, and I decided I wasn't going to be falling asleep any time soon, so I got out of bed and glared at him. "It's the one that you never let me say. You know… the one where every time I try to tell you how I'm madly in lo—"

"Okay! Fine!" he yelled, as he dropped the waste basket and held up his hands in a stopping motion, "You want to waste money on some stupid ritual and sign some stupid papers to prove that I can make a damned commitment? Fine! I'll sign some damned papers! It'll benefit me in the long run if anything happens to you any way! Everything you own will be mine! Leviathan knows I have nothing to contribute! Is that what you want?"

I didn't answer. I had no idea he'd turn it into something that would benefit him. I also don't think I really cared, since I always wanted it to be his from the beginning. I just wasn't sure about how I was supposed to interpret his sudden rationale.

Then he quickly threw his robe on and grabbed the can again while grumbling, "But you're going to have to find a witness that already knows about us, because we are _not_ telling the world, and _you're_ going to do all the work and pay the damned fees. I've already done that part before."

He walked to the balcony after that, and he stood his ground by telling me as he opened the door, "It was a pain in the ass the first time, and I'm _not_ doing it again," and then he stepped onto the balcony and lit his clothes on fire without ever explaining why.

Mind you, at the time, I was a little more stumped over what I thought he might have just agreed to.


	20. A Part? Or Apart?

**A Part? Or Apart?**

* * *

><p><strong>Spoiler Alert: the last bit of this chapter, and some small scenes in following chapters from this point will have some scenes from Crisis Core and Final Fantasy VII due to their relevance to this story. I doubt most people will care, and it was probably obvious from the start that it would be inevitable. But I feel it's my duty to warn those that might get upset if they never played the games and were planning on it (even though they're quite old), especially if they wanted to be surprised. As for my mindset, I feel it's necessary to replay a few of the scenes for those that are unfamiliar with one, or both, of the games. <strong>

* * *

><p>"Tell me," Genesis says as he places some food on the table and sits near Tseng. "Why didn't you tell Vincent about your…" He pushes a plate towards Tseng while he takes the time to come up with a suitable word, "Condition?"<p>

"The restore materia?" Tseng tiredly asks as he shakily feels for a spoon and frowns that Genesis put no knives or forks on the table. I can only guess I'm thinking the same thing he's thinking—Genesis doesn't want to give Tseng anything he may attempt to use on him.

Genesis nods before he realizes Tseng can't see him, and he looks at Tseng and says, "Yes. Your _illness._"

Tseng shrugs and takes a small taste of the stew and nods, and Genesis pushes the tea closer to him while looking confused when Tseng tells him, "The man was already too guilty for things he wasn't responsible for."

"You think he would have blamed himself?"

"He blamed himself for everything." Tseng tells him, before he thoughtfully hesitates. "I thought you were there," Tseng curiously assumes as he fills his spoon fuller than the last one as if he approves of the meal.

"I left after they pushed you too far," Genesis admits, and he lowers his head and pokes at his food like he isn't interested in eating. "I… thought it would make me feel better…" Genesis tells him as he stirs his stew around, "To watch you suffer… but it didn't."

"Ah," Tseng uncomfortably breathes out as he feels for his cup and Genesis quickly grabs his hand to guide him to it. "I assumed you stayed until the bitter end."

"No," Genesis admits as he regretfully shakes his head and returns his attention to his stew. Then he lets out a deep breath and confesses, "Your screaming carried on the wind…" He pauses for a moment and looks ahead as if he's not really focussing on anything while he emptily continues. "I placed my hands over my ears to block it out, and then… it just stopped."

Tseng sarcastically snorts and thoughtfully finishes chewing. He takes his time and has a permanent sneer on his face while he swallows, and then he puts his spoon down and turns his head to Genesis' direction. His tone turns bitter when he points out, "If it _bothered_ you so much, you could have done something to stop it from happening."

"I didn't want to," Genesis tiredly tells him, and then he mindlessly grabs Tseng's hand and holds it, gripping it tighter when Tseng attempts to pull it away. "Just, for _once_, answer a damned question."

"Answer a 'damned' question?" Tseng mockingly repeats.

"_Yes_," Genesis says under his breath. Then he turns his attention to Tseng and bitterly says, "Instead of dancing around every topic involving your derelict _lover_, if that's what you really _thought_ he was to you, why don't you try being _honest_ about it for a change."

Tseng mindlessly blinks at Genesis while Genesis continues to stare at him, and then Tseng angrily snorts and roughly pushes his plate into Genesis' plate, causing him to let go of Tseng's hand as both of them spill onto his lap. Genesis quickly stands to wipe it off, and Tseng vehemently spits out, "Your _food _tastes like _shit_!" Then he throws his tea at him and Genesis quickly evades it. "How's that for honesty?"

"There you are…" Genesis smoothly sings out as Tseng places his hands on the table to help him keep the pressure off his feet when he stands and grimaces, "Sephiroth's _bitchy_ little tonberry…" Then he quickly pushes Tseng back into his seat and holds him down by the shoulders. "Stubborn as always."

After that, he hunches over Tseng so that his mouth is close to his ear, and he says, "Your _hot_ headed temper was something that _always _turned Sephiroth on, you know?" He snickers at Tseng when Tseng flinches, and he roughly pats him on the shoulders and straightens up while admitting, "It doesn't have the same effect on me though, if that's what you're aiming for."

Genesis snickers again and walks to the stove while wiping the rest of the stew from his pants with a dish towel, and he grabs two more plates and recites, "All that awaits you, is a sombre morrow…"

After that, he spoons more stew onto the plates, and he turns to Tseng with the plates in his hands and asks, "Shall we try this again?"

"He used the restore materia…" Tseng quietly says, and Genesis tilts his head as he places the new plate in front of Tseng and puts his plate on the opposite side of the table from where he was sitting. His chair is covered in stew and he has no desire to sit there again. Then he walks back to the counter and makes Tseng a fresh cup of tea.

"When he found us… He thought he was helping and he paired it with an All spell."

Genesis nods and Tseng shakes his head.

"He didn't know."

"And if he found out…" Genesis assumes as he finishes making the tea and brings it to him, "he would have blamed himself for your condition."

"It wasn't his fault."

"Of course not," Genesis agrees as he places Tseng's spoon in his hand. "But none of that stopped you from going out of your way to protect him from his guilt by putting yourself in a situation that endangered you."

"It was a small price to pay," Tseng admits as he feels for the plate and puts his head down.

"How noble of you," Genesis sarcastically sings out as he places a napkin over his lap to protect it and takes a bite of his stew.

Tseng snorts at the comment and decides to quietly finish the rest of his meal while Genesis watches him with a smirk on his face.

When Genesis is done, he watches Tseng slowly feed himself as if he's uncomfortable. He chews his food slowly and seems to have trouble swallowing. Every now and then, he lets out a suppressed cough, wipes his mouth, takes a sip of tea, and then he returns to it as if he's determined to finish every last bite.

Genesis lets out a heavy sigh and sits back in his chair.

"You know," he says. "This isn't the life I imagined living either."

"You have my condolences," Tseng mumbles with his mouthful. He stays hunched over as if he's too uncomfortable to sit straight, and Genesis shakes his head at him.

He doesn't take the comment seriously, and he toys with the spoon in his hand while thinking. "I went out of my way to make you a good meal tonight. It was the least I could do." Then he looks at his plate and taps the spoon on it, knowing it doesn't make up for much of what he did to Tseng earlier, and he returns his attention to Tseng and regretfully studies him.

"Anyway," he cautiously starts. "About the cat… Where do you think it stays?"

"Why?" Tseng sarcastically snorts out. "You wanna find it so you can kill it?"

"Perhaps," Genesis tiredly breathes out. He seems like he's not in the mood to play games with Tseng right now, but at the same time, it's hard for him to resist, if that's what he's doing.

Then he gets up and grabs their plates after Tseng takes the last bite, and Tseng attempts to get up as well.

"_Sit down!_" Genesis hisses at him as he pushes him back into his chair, and then he snorts at him as he walks away and grumbles, "You should know better than to stand when you're in as much pain as you're in right now."

After that, he quickly rinses the plates off and brings a pot of tea and some sliced apples back to the table for Tseng, and he pours himself a cup as well so he can sip on it while he cleans off the soiled chair.

For the rest of the evening, they banter back and forth about meaningless things, and when Genesis decides that Tseng is too tired to stay awake, he carefully pulls him from the chair and slings Tseng's arm over his shoulder.

Naturally, Tseng protests, but Genesis ignores him and tells him he has no choice but to accept the help. Tseng can't walk on his own right now, and Genesis has no desire to feed into Tseng's stubbornness.

"What _did_ happen to your feet?" Genesis asks as he opens a door to a room, and Tseng emptily answers. "Reno and I were captured and tortured—Years ago."

"I see," Genesis responds with a frown and guides his limping captive into the room. "I assume they gave up on trying to get answers from you and decided to torture you in front of Reno in hopes of getting him to talk?"

"Something like that," Tseng tiredly breathes out when they stop in front of a bed. Then Tseng stops in mid-step, causing Genesis to stop as well, before he cautiously asks. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed," Genesis answers, and Tseng quickly pulls his arm from Genesis' shoulder in distrust.

"This isn't my room!"

He nearly falls backwards while Genesis grabs him and readjusts him in his arms. Then he eerily smiles at Tseng and admits, "Correct." After that, he leans closer and confides that, "It's _our_ room."

"You're insane if you think I'm sharing a bed with you."

"I believe we've already established my mental state," Genesis tells him as he carefully attempts to sit Tseng on the bed and Tseng tries to push him away. "And I believe I've already established that it has no effect on the outcome of what I'll let you do, and what I won't let you do."

Then he smirks and lets out a snort after pushing Tseng down when he tries to stand, and he walks to the door and locks it with a key, locking them both in the room. He removes the key after that, and he places it on a high shelf, knowing Tseng can't see what he's doing or where he's putting it, and he returns to stand in front of Tseng, looking down at him.

"Stop sulking, little pet," he says as if it amuses him. Then he kneels in front of Tseng and starts undoing the buttons on Tseng's shirt. "Despite my insanity, after what you did to yourself today…"

"What _I _did?" Tseng sarcastically asks.

"Yes," Genesis responds as he struggles with Tseng to get the buttons undone. "You nearly got yourself killed, or did you forget?"

"I haven't forgotten anything," Tseng responds as he does up the buttons Genesis already undid, "Especially what _you _did," and Genesis suddenly pounces on him out of frustration.

"_Settle_ down!" he demands. "We're merely sharing a _bed_, nothing more!"

"I'd rather be locked in that empty cell than spend a night by your side!"

"Tempting," Genesis responds in a toying manner as he lets go of Tseng's wrists and studies him for a moment. "You'd definitely be safe from me in there, provided I'd decide not to join you." Then he gets off of him and walks to a low dresser on the other side of the room. "Unfortunately, my humanitarian side feels that a comfortable bed is what you need right now."

"The bed in my own room is comfortable," Tseng tells him as he sits up and Genesis grabs a pair of fresh pyjamas from the dresser and brings them to him.

"Is that why you always complain about it?"

"I _complain_ because you lock the damned door," Tseng admits, and Genesis smirks at him and drops the pyjamas onto Tseng's lap.

"That's because of your wandering nature, and since you no longer trust me, you may dress yourself tonight," Genesis says as he removes his own shirt. Then he smiles and purrs out, "Of course, it won't stop me from watching you do the deed."

"You're sick," Tseng grumbles, and he refuses to move while Genesis strips down to his underwear as if he doesn't care. Then he leans against the dresser and watches Tseng with his arms folded across his chest.

After a while of Genesis just staring at Tseng, and Tseng not moving to cooperate, Genesis finally lets out a heavy sigh and gives in.

"Fine," he tiredly breathes out as he steps toward Tseng and grabs the pyjamas and sets them aside. "You've made your point. Sleep in your clothes for all I care."

"I'd rather sleep alone." Tseng argues as Genesis crawls onto the side of the bed against the wall.

"I can't watch you if you're alone," Genesis tells him as he pulls Tseng down to lay beside him while he admits, "If anything happens to you tonight, I want to be able to respond quickly." He smiles when Tseng reluctantly lies beside him on top of the covers, and he adds, "You may have kept secrets from your precious _Vincent_, but you forget, I _know_ how dangerous your health is to you for the next forty-eight hours. I don't need you going into a coma, or worse, have you stop breathing in the middle of the night without being able to revive you before it's too late."

"Then leave me dead."

"You want to be with Sephiroth?" Genesis asks, needling at Tseng as he puts his arm around him and smiles when Tseng roughly pushes him away. "After everything he's done to you, one would think you'd want to live forever just to avoid an eternity in whatever hell you'll reside in with a man you both love and fear."

"I can't imagine it being much different from the hell I'm already residing in."

"Hm…" Genesis mutters as he partially sits up and leans over Tseng to look down at him. "Maybe… the two of you can replay all the cruel things you've done to one another, and he can ram that sword of his into your back, over, and over… Or, you can replay the last part, where he stood over you, looking down at you like you meant nothing to him while he delivered that last, lethal blow, twisting his blade to ensure you'd actually die that time. Surely, you recall the way it felt," he cruelly toys as he gently strokes Tseng's hair.

"Stop talking," Tseng quietly mutters as his eyes slightly well up over the reminder.

"They say death is like having an orgasm," Genesis continues. "Is it true…? Did Sephiroth satisfy you like never before? Is that why you keep trying to rejoin him? Is that what you want to feel again?"

Tseng doesn't answer. Instead, he closes his eyes and swallows with difficulty as a small tear runs from the corner of his eye and Genesis gently wipes it away.

"Shed no tears for the monsters in your life," Genesis warns. "For they will shed none for you." Then he snorts at Tseng and strokes his hair back. "Maybe… Instead of promising yourself to him 'for all of eternity,' you should have stuck to the more traditional vow of 'til death do you part…'"

Genesis subtly smirks at Tseng when he leans closer and Tseng flinches while quickly placing his hands against Genesis' chest as if he feels the need to defend himself.

"Then…" Genesis softly breathes out as he tilts his head and curls a lock of Tseng's hair with his finger. He ignores Tseng's weak attempt to defend himself by leaning closer than he already was, and he soothingly toys, "Maybe you wouldn't be facing the dilemma you're facing now. Sephiroth wouldn't be holding you to a promise you thoughtlessly made, and death really would be the release you once might have hoped it would be."

Then Genesis brushes his lips against Tseng's and smiles when the man jumps in alarm, but that's all he does. He flops onto his back after that and turns away from Tseng.

"But for now, I believe it would be difficult for you to disagree with the notion that I _am_ the saner choice."

At that, Tseng covers his face with his hands and chokes on his emotions while he struggles to fight them back, and Genesis closes his eyes, offering one last consolation.

"My dearest tormentor, you are the only one that can free yourself. All you have to do, is accept that the prison you reside in, is the one you've created yourself."

* * *

><p>I never thought it would happen. Part of me kept thinking he'd change his mind, or he'd come up with some insane reason why it couldn't happen, but it did. Even after he showed his distaste in my choice of witnesses and we fought over it, it still happened.<p>

My argument was that he was the one that said it had to be a witness that knew about us, and I couldn't tell him that Angeal knew just as much as Genesis did. I knew they didn't get along, and I racked my brain for any other possibility, but in the end, Genesis was the only one that we both knew, and he was the only one that Tseng believed knew about us.

If he was aware of Angeal's knowledge, he never let on about it, and he reluctantly agreed.

It wasn't so bad though. Tseng eventually let it slide and decided he wanted to choose the man that married us. His argument was that he couldn't trust my judgement after I decided on Genesis.

In the end, we decided to exchange something important to us since he made it clear he wouldn't wear a ring, and it had to be something we could both always carry without ever drawing attention or questions about why we were carrying it. It was a simple idea, and the idea made sense. He even playfully suggested that we could wear it close to our ring-fingers as a symbol, and that no one would ever know.

I gave him my enemy materia. It was something I'd been working on for years, and as the days came closer, I had one last enemy to collect. It was from a Dragon Zombie in the Northern caves. They were a nasty piece of work that looked like several creatures mashed into one. We used to joke about them in Soldier by calling them 'the crab men.' They did, after all, look like they had a full set of crab legs attached to their backs, but that was beside the point.

I could have collected from one or two of them earlier, but I always killed them on sight and I was never in a big hurry to be attacked by its dangerous abilities. We called their more extreme abilities the 'Shadow Flare' and 'Pandora's Box.' Both caused tremendous damage that often resulted in us having to use a Phoenix down feather, or revive materia, to resurrect one of our lower class soldiers that were too stupid in their zeal to try to collect the dangerous spells on their own.

Besides that, I took a side-trip to the Northern Continent to hunt one or more of them down, depending on my luck. As a repercussion, Angeal and Genesis came with me. They said that since I finally decided to finish my task, they thought it would be fun to do the same. Part of me suspected they had their own motives, though. I partially believed Angeal figured it would be safer to have someone around to get my back, being as noble as he was.

As for Genesis, I wasn't too sure. I partly believed that he might have wanted to watch me die from making a mistake, or something, and I also partly believed it might have had to do with the fact that I had the nerve to ask him to be a witness to my marriage to Tseng. There might have been more to it, of course, but I never seriously thought Genesis would want to see me die.

Either way, we all finished our collection of enemy spells, and Tseng quirked his brow and subtly smiled in surprise when I handed it to him. Unfortunately, Genesis was unable to hold back his distasteful snort, and it drew a quick glance from Tseng, and an awkward cough from our marriage clerk.

After that, Tseng hesitated and admitted he had a hard time coming up with one to give me. He had a Leviathan Summon that was in his family for years. It was fully levelled, and he felt that it had meaning and heritage to it, but at the same time, he knew I never used summon materia. I viewed it as a cheap way to win a fight. Not only that, he argued in his mind that a summon of an enemy continent might not have meant as much to me as it did to him.

So, he gave me something else that surprised me even more. I had no idea he even had one, and I was probably more surprised by his gift than he was by mine. He handed me a master magic materia and awkwardly admitted that he'd been filling it and levelling it for years, on what though, I had no idea. There was a passing question about exactly how dangerous his job really was, but I knew better than to ask at that moment.

All that mattered was that he looked partially guilty when he admitted it was fully levelled and ready to use. Then he made an awkward joke about how whenever I used it, I could think about how it was him that was helping me.

After that, he smiled, cleared his throat, and quirked his brow when he put his materia into his glove, and I did the same. We always wore them with our uniforms, and we both agreed that it made sense since the majority of our lives was spent in them. Then he made an offhanded remark that it was, "A fair trade, don't you think?"

I only frowned at him, and it softened when he charmingly smiled at me to lighten the cold and businesslike comment he thoughtlessly made.

That moment lost its lustre quickly though. As we were leaving and walking down an empty hall, Genesis suddenly grabbed Tseng by the collar and brutally slugged him across the face. Tseng cried out in alarm, and he quickly pulled his gun out, aimed it at Genesis, and cocked it like he meant to use it. During that time, I reacted on nothing but instinct, and the cutting edge of my sword quickly found a place to rest at the base of Genesis' throat as a warning.

"What the hell are you doing?" I evenly asked, and Genesis smirked while keeping his eyes fixated on Tseng.

"Why don't you tell him?" he said as if he were ignoring me. "Tell your gullible _husband_ the _truth _about why you chose _this_ particular clerk to marry the two of you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not meaning to sound stupid, but I think that's exactly how it made me sound.

"Fuck off, Genesis," Tseng warned as he kept his eyes just as fixated on Genesis as Genesis kept his to Tseng. All the while, we all remained at a standoff with our weapons aimed at Genesis.

Genesis, oddly, never pulled his sword out. Instead, he smirked, indignantly snorted, and let go of Tseng's collar. Then he neatly adjusted it for him and carefully pushed my blade from his throat while commenting to me and still staring at Tseng that, "I know you foolishly trust this man with your life, Sephiroth…" He turned to me then and seriously asked, "But ask yourself, or him, what would happen if Shinra decided you were no longer indispensable, just like the clerk that bonded your _everlasting_ love for one another?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Humph," he snorted as Tseng cautiously engaged the safety on his gun and returned it to its holster, and I returned my sword to its sheath. "All I'm saying, is that I wouldn't be as surprised as you, if this is the last time you ever see that _particular_ clerk again."

He smiled at me then, and started to walk away while telling me to, "Ask him… Why _did_ he suddenly decide to choose the man to legally bind you when he was so against having anything to do with it in the first place… and why did he chose _this_ particular man? You may also wonder why he'll choose to stay behind when you get to the door. I've no doubt that's exactly what will happen." Then he disappeared from sight while quoting Loveless.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess…"

"Is that true?" I asked, frowning at Tseng as he pulled the elastic from his hair and redid his pony tail to keep it neat.

He only quirked his brow as an answer, and then he emptily stared into my eyes and said, "You should go now."

"Hm," I muttered, knowing that he didn't deny Genesis' accusation, and I studied him for a moment in an attempt to read his unreadable expression. Then I responded to his suggestion. "Because this was nothing more than a job to you."

"Sephiroth…"

"No," I said as I stepped away from him and shook my head in disbelief. I didn't want to hear his excuses or lies at that point. "This… All of this… It was just a convenient way for you to follow your orders."

"Seph—"

"Don't!" I demanded, and he coldly stepped back. "Nothing I want means anything to you, does it? This was all just a sick ploy for you to get your foot in the door."

"Don't be like that, Sephiroth. Just meet me in Costa Del Sol, like we planned. I _want_ to go with you, but there's something I need to do first."

"That's right. You bark the orders, and I listen," I said as he took another heartless step back, and I shook my head at him. "I'm just a dumb soldier that you use for your own gain."

Then I turned and walked to the door while he went in the opposite direction, and as I opened it, I could have sworn the bastardized tonberry used the enemy materia I gave to him as a gift for putting up with my stupid and gullible nature.

What made it worse, was judging by the sound and the following colour that lit the halls, he didn't only use the materia, he went so far as to use the last spell I went through the trouble of getting. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was the Shadow Flare.

* * *

><p>Regardless of the events and the way I felt that day, I still went to Costa Del Sol and arrived by the early evening. I didn't go because he told me to. I went because I felt like I needed to get away from everyone. Maybe I'd be just as cold as him and use the materia he gave to me to burn the cabin down. It seemed like a good way to end a day that shouldn't have ended the way it did.<p>

It wasn't like I believed he'd join me at that point either, but as I walked through the door and the calming sound and scent of the ocean soothed me, I let out a heavy sigh and frowned while removing my coat. It was too warm for that climate, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't burn the place down. Setting fires wasn't in my nature, and being vindictive was something I decided to leave to Tseng.

Two wrongs didn't make a right, so I told myself, and I picked up the book I didn't finish reading the last time I was there, and I carried it with me to the back deck where I sat in the bright sun and read.

By the last couple of hours and doing nothing but reading and sipping on water, I finally decided that the ocean air and the boredom was getting to me, because I was tired before the sun was setting, and I decided there was nothing else to do but sleep. Maybe if I were lucky, I'd wake up to find that Tseng was only a bad dream and that he never existed.

So, I decided that I might as well go to bed, and as I walked into the cabin, Tseng walked through the front door and heavily sighed at me while shaking his head. It also looked like he made a side-trip to the grocers as well, judging by the bag in his hand, but I couldn't be certain of anything he did any more. It was all about appearances, lies, and illusions for that man.

"I'm not using you," he tiredly told me as he put the bag on the stand near the door, "and I don't think you're an imbecile."

"Really?" I sarcastically asked as I decided sleeping was out of the question, and leaving seemed like a better option. So, I walked to my coat while grumbling, "So the fake marriage was… what? Exactly?"

He let out another heavy breath and reached into his blazer to pull something out while blocking the door so I wouldn't leave. "It wasn't fake," he said, and he handed me what he was reaching for. "It was legal and finalized. These are the papers I went back for."

"Am I supposed to believe that was all you went back for?" I dumbly asked as I had one arm in my coat and it hung stupidly over my shoulder while I looked over the papers that seemed legit, but what did I know of such things? I was nothing but a mindless tool. There's no way I'd ever understand anything so complex.

"It's what I'd like you to believe," he admitted, and then he cleared his throat and stepped forward. "I was so nervous—"

"You?" I snidely asked and snorted at him while he quickly nodded to my coat to mindfully tell me to quit being such a child and remove it, and he removed his blazer and folded it over his forearm.

"Stop being difficult," he evenly demanded, and I snorted at him again while obediently pulling my arm out of my coat and staring at him like we were at a standoff. He had a darkening bruise on his cheek where Genesis hit him and I snorted again when I realized he didn't use any potions or the materia I gave him to heal it yet.

As far as I was concerned, he didn't deserve to have it healed any way.

"As I was saying," he defeatedly breathed out. "We forgot the papers in the office."

"How do I know you didn't go back there to make sure he didn't send the copies to the main office?" I asked as I tossed the meaningless papers onto the coffee table. "For all I know, this is the _only_ official form, and it means nothing."

"Leviathan…" Tseng breathed out as he looked down and shook his head. "I have no idea why it means so damned much to you."

"Of course you don't."

With another shake to his head, he wiped at his upper lip and defeatedly admitted, "But it does matter. That's why I did what I did… Seph…" he said as he straightened up and walked toward me to brush my cheek like I were a child he was trying to explain something complicated to, and I angrily batted his hand away.

"I had a job to do," he admitted. "I knew you would react this way if you ever found out, but that's not the reason I didn't tell you," He explained. "You know more than half of what I do is classified, even from you. Am I happy about what I did?" he asked, and I angrily stared at him while he lowered his head and said, "No. I'm not. I don't always like what I do, but sometimes…" he trailed off as he returned his gaze to me and lightly shook his head at my childish pout.

"Despite that I know I'm not getting through to you right now, sometimes, I have to do what I have to do, and sometimes, I find a way to work it into something else that works for me."

"What a surprise."

"Seph, you knew damned well I didn't want anyone knowing about us, and you know how I feel about marriage, but you pushed for it anyway, and I gave in. The only damned way for it to work was to sign up for the job so that there'd be no questions as to why I was there in the first place, if they ever arose."

"How convenient for you."

"Regardless," he said as he shook his head at me in irritation and grabbed my coat from me as if to say he were the one in charge. "What's done is done. I can't undo it and he never sent the papers off. He was known for doing things like that, among other things. So, I did what I did, and I sent the papers off because I know what that means to you."

After that, he grabbed my arm and escorted me to the sofa and pushed me onto it. Then he hung our coats while I grumbled that for all I knew, he was making the whole damned thing up because he was a jerk that liked to mess with people. It was all a joke to him, and the rest of us simply existed for his entertainment.

"Damn that Genesis," he grumbled as he rubbed his cheek and grabbed the groceries so he could make us dinner. "This was supposed to be your day. It wasn't supposed to be ruined like this." He said. "If he kept his mouth shut, everything would have gone as planned, and you wouldn't have known any different… You'd be a lot happier than you are right now."

"How thoughtful of you," I mumbled as I looked at his bruising cheek and frowned. Despite all that though, I had to ask, "Why did he hit you?" I knew Genesis thought of him as a lying, cheating dog, and that it was warranted. I also knew that Genesis didn't like what Tseng did for a living. He didn't agree with it, but hitting Tseng the way he did seemed a bit extreme.

"Because he's a lunatic," Tseng answered while minding what he was doing and shaking his head. "Maybe you don't see it, but I've seen more than I care to."

"Like what?" I asked as I got up and walked into the kitchen so I could study his expression closer, but all he did was shake his head as if he didn't want to talk about it.

All he said was that, "I don't want to talk about it right now. Besides reasons I thought were obvious, topics about Genesis always lead to a fight, and I don't think we're finished with the one we're already having. All I _will_ say is that there's something wrong with him."

"If you told me the truth from the start, I might have been okay with it."

"I don't think so," Tseng admitted as he shook his head and started filling a tray with what he was preparing. "Not to mention that no one was supposed to know. I have no idea how in the hell he found out, and now that you know, I don't know what I'm going to do about it."

"Maybe he just suspects you're the slime-ball you really are, and you were the one dumb enough to slip up and admit to it."

"Maybe," he snickered out before he turned his attention to me and his expression grew solemn. "Technically, I should report the leak, but if I mention your name since you also know, you'll be under investigation along with Genesis, even me, if it _was _me that slipped up. Then, there's this small issue about what the two of you were doing there in the first place, your vacations aside, and knowing Genesis, he'll tell them the truth out of nothing more than spite."

"Hm," I snorted before vindictively pointing out that, "Maybe if you weren't so dead-set on lying to everyone about everything all the time, things wouldn't be so complicated."

"This is worse than pay dirt," he breathed out, and then he shook his head and looked down at his dish. "I have a dilemma."

"That, you do," I agreed, and then I wondered what he meant by 'pay dirt,' and I asked.

"It's just an expression we use in the Department."

"It makes your job sound dirty," I admitted, concluding that it might have been dirtier than I previously thought, judging by his expression and the offhanded way he dismissed the remark by telling me to go light the barbecue so he could finish making dinner.

* * *

><p>That night, like every other night we argued, we made up. I was still mad at him, and part of me wondered if he was just using sex as a way to placate me. The other part didn't care much about it though. It was like every other time we were in Costa Del Sol. Only, this time, we were consummating a union. It didn't matter that I was still uncertain about its validity.<p>

What mattered more was the way he always let loose in Costa Del Sol. He was unafraid of attracting attention, and he always made me wish we'd never leave. Unfortunately, we were only there for three days. They went by quickly, but they were probably the best three days I'll ever recall.

Mostly, because things began to change after that.

When I returned to Midgar and Tseng set off on another mission, Angeal, Genesis, and I did what we always did when the three of us met up and the Second Class Soldiers were out. We went into the training room and set up a simulation of the Junon cannon. It was the largest cannon in the world—larger than a three-story building. The barrel jutted out over the ocean and was large enough to support over one-hundred soldiers.

It was the pride and the tourist attraction of Junon. It was also the first line of defence against whatever might come to us from the ocean, but at that point, it had never been used and was more of a monument than a weapon due to its massive size.

Regardless, visiting it in the training room was something we did for fun since we never would have been allowed to hang out on the real one, and Genesis chose the scenery as usual. He had a thing for sunsets, and as I stood on the cannon and looked outward to the perpetually setting sun over the ocean, Genesis read allowed.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess… We seek it thus, and take to the sky…" he read. He was sitting on a ledge with his legs crossed near the back of the cannon. The sun lit the auburn tint of his hair and he glowed like fire. I never thought of Genesis in an intimate way, but I had to admit he was an attractive man.

He looked like an icon and kept his hair stylish and modern. It was on the short side and his bang flattered the frame of his face, slightly sweeping over his right eye. He was colourful, fit, always well-groomed, and he was confident enough to adorn himself with a long diamond earring that always caught the light in a striking way.

His green eyes impishly glowed, and his smile was always playful and charming. In a way, it struck me as strange that a man with his looks and charisma was never in a relationship other than the one he had with Tseng, if that's what it was. It struck me as even stranger when I thought about how women always flocked to him like ho-chus to a light, and how he seemed to like it. He even went so far as to encourage it, and often, he'd disappear with them for hours on end.

Yet, as far as I knew, he never acted on the attraction, despite how much he appeared to enjoy it.

If it weren't for Tseng, I'd go so far as to say he was a lady's man, right to the bone, and it made him more of an enigma whenever I tried to figure him out.

Angeal, in contrast, stood beside Genesis. I guess he was attractive in his own way, but he was too burly, for lack of a better word, for my taste. He was unshaven as usual. His black hair was wavy and uncombed, just reaching past his shoulders in the back, and he appeared rough, weathered, and earthy in comparison to his elegant friend as he looked down with a subtly reflective grin and a distant look in his shadowy blue eyes.

He was another enigma in my eyes, and in many ways, he was the idea of the perfect soldier, and perhaps a little sad. He had just as many fans as Genesis and I did, but he never seemed interested in the attention. He never had a lover, to my knowledge, and as far as I knew, he never expressed a romantic interest in anyone I'd ever seen him with.

I knew he had a soft spot for men like Genesis and Zack, and even though I often entertained the idea that he was capable of having a love life, or even being in love, I can't really say that his affections went beyond anything more than a brother or father would have for a sibling or offspring.

That's what made him seem sad to me. Besides his 'honour' and mentoring nature, he had no one in his life other than his fellow soldiers that were more acquaintances than friends.

Also, unlike Genesis, the light of the sun didn't light him up like the fiery spirit beside him. Unlike Genesis, who practically glowed from the light, Angeal seemed to absorb it.

It made me wonder where my place was with them as the soft breeze in the simulation lightly moved my hair and the colour of the ocean stirred something inside of me. They were so opposite that they complimented one another. Each of them carrying a strength for the other's weakness.

Then there was me, always a part, and always apart.

"Ripples form on the water's surface…" Genesis poetically continued, enunciating with a passion only he was capable of pulling off. "The wandering soul knows no rest…"

It made me partially smile as I reflected on the irony of who and what we were while he read, and I turned to them, smiled broader, and walked toward them.

Genesis subtly grinned as if the words meant something meaningful to him, and Angeal looked up as if he just awoke from a boring sleep while I concluded, "Loveless, Act I."

I had my sword in my hand since there was usually only one reason we ever entered a simulation, and Genesis snorted at me while Angeal kept his arms crossed over his chest. "Hm," he muttered as he closed his book with one hand and looked down, slightly to Angeal's side and closed his eyes while sarcastically musing, "You remembered."

Then he stood and straightened up.

It was part of a game we were playing, I thought, and I wittily asked him while tapping my temple with my right hand, "How can I not when you've beaten it into my head?"

After that, I swung my sword as a challenge to get things moving along. Genesis responded the way he always did to what I thought was a playful jibe at the time. He held his adorned sword up as it glowed red with fire, and Angeal calmly grabbed his from its sheath while warning Genesis about something I didn't think needed to be said.

He told Genesis not to take me lightly, and at the time, maybe I should have been more aware of the events that took place between me and Tseng recently, and the way I assume Genesis felt about it as he cockily snorted out, "Humph, noted…" before they charged at me and it became a two-on-one fight.

There was nothing unusual about our actions. We were soldiers because we liked to fight. It was in our nature, and it was our way of bonding, for the most part, and it was always the two of them trying to best me. So, as usual, I played with them, not really taking anything seriously and only defending against their blows while taking advantage of the odd attack here and there.

Angeal, I believed, was taking things in the same light as me to start with. We were just playing and being cocky toward one another, showing off as our swords crossed and I arrogantly smirked at him while asking if that was the best he could do.

Then I roughly pushed him back and he stumbled. Maybe I took things too far without realizing it, but I didn't think of it at the time. I ignored Angeal's frustrated look when he stumbled, and I ignored the fact that Angeal rarely lost his cool while he sarcastically asked, "All hail Sephiroth, eh?"

For the most part, I think I was missing something. Whether it was because I was too focussed on the fight to take note of their emotional reactions, or if I was more indifferent than I thought, I'm not sure. It was like I was suddenly with two Tseng's, agitated with me for no reason I could think of, and Genesis, being more temperamental like Tseng, decided he was going to prove something, like Tseng.

I didn't catch on at that point though. Even when Genesis told Angeal to stay back and that he wanted to take me alone, I didn't pay much mind to Angeal's sudden look and sound of concern.

"Genesis…" he urged as Genesis ignored him and held his sword over his head, closed his eyes, and ran his hand along the blade to power it up with a spell.

"The world needs a new hero," Genesis passionately stated, as if it were a fact, and I snorted at him in Challenge.

"Humph, come and try," I urged, feeling the will to conquer as I welcomed something more challenging than a casual duel among friends.

That might have been the turning point. I'm not sure, but it was then that I noticed the fire in Genesis' green eyes, like a predatory monster losing control over himself. I never noticed it before, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if it was new.

"So smug…" he smoothly said, almost too smoothly while the words dripped from his tongue like venom, "but… for how long?"

Then he attacked in a way I could only describe as vicious. He was like my tonberry, attacking like he wanted to fatally wound me. The playing faded in a heartbeat, and we were suddenly duelling over something too serious to be taken lightly. His attacks left me little time to consider what was fuelling him, and I became the only thing I was ever really good at being—a soldier, fighting for something I was never really sure of, but fighting nonetheless.

I was no longer duelling with a friend. I was fighting against a savage beast that had no honour as he went beyond swordplay and angrily threw fire spells of the highest level at me. When I look back, I can probably come up with a few reasons why he suddenly wanted to kill me, but at the time, I had no idea what the hell got into him as he grew angrier and more out of control, bombarding me with spell after spell until I was engulfed in flames, holding them off at arm's length with an mbarrier spell from the materia Tseng gave to me.

_"It might just save your life one day…"_ Tseng joked. The irony in his head was that it was a lowly Turk saving a soldier's life. I don't think he ever meant it literally.

I don't think Angeal ever expected Genesis to get so out of control either, and through the flames, I could see that I was the one that was no longer fighting against both of them as Genesis was powering another spell in hopes of breaking through the mbarrier. It was Genesis that suddenly became the odd man out as Angeal stood in his way to block him and yelled, "Stop! You'll destroy us all!"

Genesis was too far gone though. So much that he turned on Angeal. Genesis angrily warned him, "That's no way to talk to a _hero_!" sounding almost insane as he grabbed Angeal's head, covering his face with the palm of his hand, and he cast a fire spell at point blank, blowing the man backwards and unconscious as his body fell to the ocean.

It gave me enough time to clear the fires around me and send a few of them back at Genesis. The fight was on, and I started tearing up the cannon with spells and my sword like it was butter while I came at Genesis as if I were equally possessed by whatever it was that possessed him.

We'd forgotten about Angeal. I think he could have been dead for all we cared. I had only one mission at that point, and it was to eliminate the enemy. Genesis was no longer the only one that wanted to kill his opponent as much as he wanted to suddenly defend himself—the tables had turned.

I could see the anger and the fear in his bewildered green eyes as he fought for his life and I eerily came at him and attacked until he concluded he had no choice but to charge back at me while I charged at him.

We might have killed each other at that moment, but Angeal came out of nowhere, urgently running toward us with his sword readied. Anger lit those shadowy blue eyes so they were almost black as his sword quickly lodged itself between ours to block us both.

He yelled, "Enough!" and took me off guard, bringing me back to my senses.

"Angeal…" I said, suddenly realizing I'd gone too far, but it had no effect on Genesis as he powered up a lightening spell and angrily ordered Angeal, "Out of my way!" and he attacked him again.

It didn't work out as he planned though, I don't think, because his spell hit Angeal's sword instead of Angeal. It broke the blade, sending the shard flying back at Genesis and slicing through his upper bicep, and he reacted in surprise.

He grunted in pain and covered the wound with his other hand while stumbling backwards. Angeal panicked in concern for his friend while he yelled out, "Genesis!" and the simulation short circuited from the lightning spell and sent us back into an empty grey room, padded with sparking electronic panels.

Both Angeal and I were too bewildered to do anything other than stare down at Genesis as he kept his head down while kneeling and panting. Then he turned calm and coolly said with his head down, "Just a scrape," as he stood and massaged his shoulder. "I'll be fine, don't worry," he told us, and he calmly bent down to pick up his sword.

Then he quickly glanced at me and proudly walked by us, unwilling to let go of his stature while reciting, "Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return."

* * *

><p>Despite Genesis' insistence that he was fine, he walked to Hollander's office while we followed. I had to admit we were both concerned, and probably for more than one reason. None of us said a word to each other, and none of us looked at each other while Angeal and I kept a few paces behind Genesis.<p>

I'm not entirely sure what I was feeling at that moment. There was a mixture of thoughts while I replayed the entire scenario in my head and tried to make sense out of Genesis' bizarre attack. Not to mention, there was the small issue regarding my own behaviour as well.

Angeal was the only one that kept his head during the simulation. If it weren't for him, it's hard to say how things would have wound up. It left me unsure about what he thought of either of us at that point, and it left me feeling somewhat like a child who'd done something wrong.

Regardless, Hollander readily accepted Genesis into his office, but he held his arm up to us as if to say he wanted nothing to do with us at that point. Neither Angeal nor I were welcome to follow our wounded friend, and we stayed outside the office with our backs leaning against the opposite wall.

We must have stood there for more than an hour. We kept our gaze to the floor and never said a word. I know we were both concerned, but I kept my silence because I couldn't help but feel Angeal was angry with me for some reason, and I wasn't too sure what he felt about Genesis at that moment either. He was viciously attacked by him for no reason, and I think it left us both too dumfounded to come up with anything sensible to say.

* * *

><p>This went on for over a week. Genesis went to see Hollander every day, and we stood outside, leaning against the opposite wall while we waited. Something wasn't right. His wound was superficial, but it wasn't healing. No one was telling us anything to set our minds at ease, and our conversations were kept short. It was mostly Angeal that did the talking, or more accurately, the lecturing.<p>

He spoke as if he were disgusted and angry with us both, but at least he was talking. It didn't matter that most of it was about dreams, honour, discipline, loyalty, et cetera… All that mattered was that he was at least trying to break the ice that was slowly forming between us.

Genesis still wouldn't look at me, and I was finding it hard to look at either of them. The only comfort I found was in Tseng's arms after I told him what happened. He was right. I finally saw it. Something wasn't right with Genesis, but for some reason, I felt like it was my fault.

"Unless you left something out," he told me, "I don't see how it could have been your fault."

"Yeah…" I admitted as I climbed into bed beside him, "But I attacked him back… Maybe if I didn't lose control…"

"Seph…" Tseng breathed out as he turned to me and thoughtfully studied me. "You reacted. You can't blame yourself for reacting."

I wasn't too sure though. He wasn't there, and near the end, I think I really did intend to kill Genesis. I couldn't bring myself to tell Tseng that part though. I couldn't tell him how I felt like my humanity was stripped away, and that all I wanted to do was destroy everything in my path. Worst of all, I couldn't admit how satisfied I felt at that moment—how fulfilling it was to be so focussed on something so final, and how a part of me was hungering for it to happen again.

That might have been another reason why I kept my silence around friends I was no longer sure of. I was no longer sure if they were ever my friends, but the obedient and loyal side of me kept me by Angeal's side every day as we waited for news on Genesis' condition. Any news, good or bad, would have been better than not knowing anything at all.

So, there we were again, waiting outside Hollander's office. It was becoming a routine as we silently stood there with our arms folded across our chests and our backs leaning against the wall. I no longer kept track of time, and I think Angeal was in the same mindset. All either of us wanted to know was that Genesis would be fine, and as Hollander walked out of his office with a solemn expression, Angeal and I both straightened up and walked toward him.

Angeal asked him how Genesis was, and Hollander shook his head and sighed before answering. "The problem is the mako energy that seeped in through the wound…"

"Is it treatable?" Angeal asked, he was unable to hide his worried tone, and Hollander clinically answered, "First, he'll need a transfusion."

Part of me felt like Hollander would have been happier if I weren't there. I don't know if it was because he blamed me, or if he just didn't like me. He was, after all, the same stout, black-haired and unshaved associate that answered the door to Hojo's lab in Nibelheim. After seeing me with Tseng in my arms, I believed he was suspicious of me ever since, and for all I knew, he was fully aware of everything that transpired afterward.

I couldn't let that thought affect me though, and I stepped forward. I was more than willing to offer whatever I could to make things right again, but Angeal held up his arm and blocked me while both of them set their attention on me, and I turned from Hollander's bearded face to Angeal in confusion.

Then Hollander coldly told me, "_You_ aren't viable," and he narrowed his eyes at me like I was nothing before he walked back into his lab and Angeal followed.

They left me with questions I couldn't ask after making it clear I wasn't welcome to participate. I couldn't help but feel that I wasn't even welcome to offer support, and I stood there, staring at the door, wondering what was wrong with me.

Why couldn't I be the donor? Were we incompatible? Or was it something more? I almost went in to ask but thought twice about it. I hesitated while wondering if I even wanted to know, and for a short while, I simply stared at the door again, thinking that they didn't want me in there any way. I was suddenly not good enough for anything, and no one wanted anything to do with me. So, I emptily walked away, wondering how long it would be for Tseng to turn his back on me as well.


	21. Regrets

**Regrets**

* * *

><p>Tseng had a hard time falling asleep that night. After everything Genesis did to him, I couldn't blame him. To push things further, Genesis decided to force him to share a bed with him, and he clings as close to the edge as he can. It's clear that sharing a bed with Genesis is the last thing he wants right now, and he winces and sneers when Genesis turns and puts his arm around him.<p>

"Sephiroth…" he quietly breathes to the air, and all I can do is listen while knowing he doubts I can hear him. "I wish I never met you…"

Then he carefully pushes Genesis' arm away and closes his eyes.

He can't fall asleep though, and he opens his eyes while carefully pushing himself closer to the edge so he can slide away without disturbing his tormentor. He knows he's locked in, and he's not familiar with the layout of the room, but maybe he figures he can find a way out while he slinks to the floor and starts crawling and feeling his way around.

When he gets to the middle of the room, he sighs and grimaces. Then he stops while suddenly sitting back and babying his leg.

"Ah!" he quickly breathes out. He's trying to keep quiet, and he lightly massages the area where his leg broke as if it's bothering him, and he grimaces and quietly whines. "Nnng…"

Whatever pain he's feeling, he's unable to fight it like he usually can, and he sits in the middle of the floor with his eyes tightly shut as if he's trying to will his discomfort away. He's not succeeding though, and when he winces again, Genesis stirs and sits up.

"What?" Genesis groggily asks as he rubs his eyes and tiredly sits so he can find Tseng. Then he leans over the edge of the bed and stares at the man as if he's unimpressed. "Don't tell me you're trying to escape again."

"Just trying to get away from you," Tseng grunts out as he anxiously rocks and grimaces again.

"You won't get very far," Genesis taunts as he supports his head on his hands and curiously watches Tseng. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Tseng breathes out. Then he shakes his head and tries to hide his discomfort by trying to stand. "Just a cramp."

"Must be one hell of a cramp," Genesis mutters as he studies Tseng and heavily sighs. "Where?"

"My leg," he admits as he fails to prove he's fine and he shakily sits back down. "Ah!"

"Which one?"

"The one that broke," Tseng says through his teeth. "It'll go away."

"Sure it will," Genesis tiredly agrees as he frowns and walks over to Tseng. "Are you sure it's not the break itself?" he asks, and he kneels in front of Tseng and starts feeling along his leg to check it.

"Don't touch me!" Tseng painfully barks while roughly pushing Genesis back as he moves away at the same time. "It's your fault it hurts!"

"Rub it in," Genesis darkly purrs under his breath as he steadies himself. "It's yourfault for recklessly putting yourself in this situation."

"I don't see how I can be responsible for holding myself against my will by a demented psychopath."

With a heavy sigh, Genesis kneels in front of Tseng again and roughly grabs his leg to let him know he's going to look at it no matter how much Tseng protests. "This is the reason you're in my room tonight," Genesis tells him as he pushes Tseng's pantleg up and physically examines it. "For all either of us knows, your break never healed."

"Agh!" Tseng winces while Genesis feels along the calf and starts lightly massaging it. "Once again," Tseng says through his grimaces. "My leg would have been fine if you just left me alone."

"I doubt that," Genesis quietly says. Then he heavily sighs and sits back while studying Tseng. "You're not the victim you pretend to be." After that, he tries to pull Tseng to his feet and stumbles when Tseng roughly pushes him away again.

"Oh, that's right," Tseng venomously grumbles. "I keep forgetting you're the one who's the prisoner… What was I thinking?" he sarcastically says while Genesis stands above him with his arms crossed. "It's just so easy to overlook."

"Get back into bed," Genesis evenly orders. His teeth are slightly clenched and his expression is unimpressed while he looks down at Tseng. "Since you believe you're the only one who's forced into a situation you have no control over, I'll be nice enough to give you the option to get back in on your own."

Tseng snorts in disbelief and angrily throws the closest thing on the floor at Genesis. Sadly, it's only a pair of pants, but the sentiment is effective regarding his thoughts on the matter. "Or what?"

"Face the consequences," Genesis calmly tells him while keeping his arms folded across his chest, and Tseng disbelievingly laughs.

"You're unreal," he says. "You haven't changed at all. Right from the get-go, you had to dominate everything and everyone around you."

"You haven't changed either," Genesis points out. Then he pulls Tseng from the floor and lifts him into his arms. "You're so stubborn that you can't even admit you can't stand right now."

"Put me down!" Tseng demands, but Genesis ignores him.

Instead, he carries him to the bed and carelessly drops him onto it. "You'll go so far as to start a fight rather than admit to a weakness." Then he coldly stares down at him. "You leave me no choice but to dominate you."

Then he climbs on top of Tseng and holds him down.

"Get off me you unpredictable freak!"

"I know I disgust you, but that doesn't change the fact that you _need_ me right now," Genesis taunts. "Despite the mistakes I've regretfully made."

"Genesis! Get off me!" Tseng yells again as he squirms under Genesis' weight and grunts when Genesis grips his jaw to hold it still.

"I realize I can't undo what I've done, as much as I _wish _I could," he confesses as his eyes busily wander over Tseng's face. "All I ever wanted from you was a reason," he says as he tilts his head and draws closer. "Just an answer to why you felt it was necessary to use me and then turn your back on me when I needed you most."

"You're hurting me," Tseng spits out when Genesis tightens his grip into his jaw and snorts.

"I can never hurt you as much as you hurt me," he bitterly tells him. Then he roughly pushes Tseng's head back and sits over his legs.

"Agh!" Tseng yells from the pain in his leg, and Genesis coldly looks down at him. "I never did anything to you."

"No," Genesis soothingly says as he reaches to Tseng's face and lightly runs his fingers over his cheek. "You just strung me along and then left me after I asked for your help," he says. "I _begged_ you, and you walked away." Then he eases the pressure on Tseng's legs and leans forward, supporting himself with his hands on both sides of Tseng's head. "Then what did you do?" he calmly asks as he gently runs his fingers along a lock of Tseng's hair and moves closer. "You turned everyone against me."

"I said you needed help," Tseng says as Genesis sits up again. "But you figured it made more sense to blame me for everything you discovered."

Genesis subtly nods and moves to the foot of the bed, allowing Tseng to pull away and baby his leg again. "I wonder why…?" he sarcastically muses. Then he bitterly looks at Tseng and sneers. "Could it have something to do with the fact that I made the mistake of thinking I could trust you? All you had to do was believe me and help me when I asked you to look into those files about me.

"Instead, you told me I was paranoid. If I wanted answers, I should ask the people who did this to me, and you knew it would endanger me."

"I didn't know," Tseng protests in irritation. "How many times do you want me to tell you I had no idea you were right."

"As many times as it takes for me to believe you," Genesis coldly tells him. Then he moves closer and grabs Tseng's leg to feel along the calf again. "Since you lie so much, it's hard to believe anything that comes out of that seductive mouth of yours.

"You used me when you knew how I felt about you. You toyed with me and confused me about who and what I was. You took advantage of me and broke me, only to wind up dumping me for _him_ when I told you I suspected something was wrong with me," Genesis says while carefully massaging Tseng's leg and watching him grimace.

"That's not how it happened," Tseng protests as he winces from Genesis' careful touch and grips into the pillow beneath him. "You were just as imaginative then as you are now."

"That's right," Genesis calmly says. "You never could stand me. You only used me because of Sephiroth."

"Leviathan," Tseng grumbles and puts his head back. "That's right, you were just a rebound—a mistake I regret to this day. That was the reason I went back to Sephiroth." Tseng coldly tells him. "It had nothing to do with your imaginative belief that you were lied to about the procedure they performed to make you what you are." Then he sneers and snorts in Genesis' direction. "Because I honestly never believed you."

Genesis smirks and lets go of Tseng all the sudden, and he emptily stares at him. "When I needed you most, you turned Sephiroth against me and sided with Shinra. You didn't think I was being imaginative then. Did you?" he says as he sits back. "You hunted me down." Then he lets out a heavy sigh. "I foolishly thought once you realized I wasn't _imagining_ anything that you would care.

"But you're incapable of caring," he says while Tseng appears to ignore him and stretches his foot. It's almost like he isn't listening. "You're cold."

"Which makes you a fool for thinking there's a point in trying to force me to like you."

"Sephiroth had no idea how right he was to label you as a tonberry," Genesis admits while he angrily glares at Tseng. "You lure people in so you can destroy them."

"I was under orders," Tseng finally mutters as if he really doesn't care and Genesis emptily nods.

"You were a monster long before either of us got a hold of you," Genesis says. Then he walks to the chair near the dresser and stares at it. "I suppose I should thank you for that… If it wasn't for you, I would have infected some innocent woman and never forgiven myself for it."

"You would have gotten over it," Tseng detachedly says as Genesis sits in the chair and raises his brow at Tseng. "We both know you're not the saint you pretend to be." Then he barely mumbles, "Nor are you the victim you pretend to be."

"Oh?" Genesis asks with feigned interest. "What am I then?"

When Tseng says nothing, Genesis brushes his greying bangs from his eyes and pulls out his summon materia.

"I suppose…" he trails off as he toys with it in his hand and emptily stares at it. Then he hypnotically breathes while it activates and a small stream makes its way to Tseng, and Tseng grimaces from a new discomfort in his abdomen. "You would only tell me my imagination has gotten the better of me… Perhaps I've simply made everything up so I can torment myself with the company of a man who loathes me… Definitely, it sounds better than the truth."

"And what _truth_ would that be?" Tseng asks through clenched teeth as the stream from the materia grows more vibrant.

"The truth…" Genesis hypnotically repeats. "Is that the Goddess only knows what we'd both turn into without each other."

Then the stream stops. The materia is full, and Genesis casually gets up, grabs the key for the door, and he looks down at Tseng before he opens it. "The only downside is my feelings for you get in the way." After that, he walks out, closes the door behind him, and a bright flash fills the room from the hall Genesis is standing in.

For some reason, Genesis refuses to use the materia on himself in front of Tseng. He knows the man can't see him, and I can only guess it's more over the reason that Genesis resents having to do it in the first place. I believe Genesis thinks it's the only thing that keeps the creature in Tseng at bay though.

It's also what he needs to keep himself from turning into whatever it is he's capable of turning into. When he returns, he's vibrant and youthful again, and for the first time, I finally realize why Genesis cornered Tseng in the halls and acted aggressively toward him.

We always thought it had something to do with their affair, but he knew long before Angeal and I did. We didn't know because he never told us. Strangely, he told Tseng and asked for his help and wound up holding him responsible for everything he discovered. However, Tseng never said a word to me about it, and I can't help but wonder what else he might have known.

* * *

><p>"Not really sure if I should've agreed to it," I heard Reno saying as I stepped into Tseng's office and saw Reno leaning over Tseng's desk. His shirt was lifted from his back and his pants were undone and loosely hanging from his knees while Tseng stood behind him.<p>

His hand was on Reno's hip while he moved the other somewhere behind Reno.

"It's too late to change your mind. Does it hurt?" Tseng mumbled as his thumb unconsciously stroked Reno's thigh, and Reno shivered and shook his head while smiling.

"Nah… Took somethin for the pain beforehand. Pretty much knew it was gonna happen," Reno playfully confessed while he kept his head down and shuddered a bit when Tseng moved his hand again. "Might feel it tomorrow though."

"Probably," Tseng said as if he were in a trance. "You're probably going to be too sore to sit, but you'll heal soon enough…" Then I let out an obvious cough to let them know I was there.

"I can… come back later," I teased while Reno quickly pulled his pants up and fastened them and Tseng quickly moved away. Then I subtly smirked and added. "I can see the two of you are busy."

"Sephiroth!" Tseng said in a startled way while Reno adjusted his shirt and grinned at me. Then he sang out his own greeting, "Hey, Man… 'Sup?"

"Nothing until now," I playfully responded While Tseng turned bright red and Reno smirked with his brow raised. I was always open about my preferences and wasn't about to hide them because my roommate was homophobic all the sudden. He said he wanted our relationship to be believable. If I behaved any differently, it would have been suspicious, and he knew that. "Really… I'll come back when the two of you are finished."

"Nah-nah…" Reno said as he did his blazer up and Tseng handed him a tube of ointment on his desk. Then he walked toward me and tugged on the sleeve of my coat to stop me from leaving. "Think I got all I'm gonna get from 'im anyway. But… uh… ya should try it sometime."

"Really?" I purred out when he was close enough.

Then he tossed the bottle of ointment in his hand and winked at me while stuffing it in his pocket. "Since Tseng's yer roommate, it'll be easy fer ya to get him to fix ya good afterwards." He snickered after that and added, "An uh… ya won't have ta worry 'bout no one interruptin."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said with a low purr as he waggled his brows at me.

After that, he chuckled and walked down the hall with that strange swagger of his and I turned my attention back to Tseng while he wiped his hands off on a napkin.

I couldn't help the way the corners of my mouth turned while I teased, "Caught in the act…"

"Oh, please," Tseng grumbled, still a few shades redder than normal as he tossed the napkin into the trash. "He got drunk last night and got a tattoo."

"Sure he did," I playfully jested. Then I looked back to the hall and watched Reno turn the corner while adding, "Conveniently on his backside, I see."

With a role to his eyes, he explained that Reno wanted him to see it, and regardless of his protests, Reno dropped his pants anyway. When Tseng noticed it was irritated, he decided he'd help him out. So, he offered to put some ointment on it. Then he gave him the bottle after I walked in. Of course, it seemed believable enough, and knowing Reno, he'd play with anything to make it look worse than it was.

I also knew Tseng well enough to know he wouldn't do anything questionable while leaving the door unlocked, but it was still fun to poke at him for it.

"You know," I said as I took a seat across from him and placed our lunches on his desk, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he has a crush on you."

"He's not gay," Tseng quietly said as he reached for the bag to see what was in it, mostly because he didn't want anyone to hear him. Then he grabbed the hamburger from the bag and pushed the Wutian takeout toward me. "And if he were, he's a little too late." At that, he held up his gloves as a reminder of our arrangement.

"And if he weren't too late?" I asked as I opened the container and looked for my chopsticks, but all he did as an answer was stuff a hefty bite of his burger into his mouth while smiling and quirking his brow.

I was aware he wasn't dead from the waist down, and his playful jibe left me wondering what it was he really did feel towards Reno. They were always strangely awkward with each other, and I was always walking in on something questionable whenever the two of them were together. I wasn't jealous though. In a weird way, I was kind of turned on by it. The idea that it could make him easier to persuade into a threesome was… Well… something I kept to myself those days.

"It'll never happen," Tseng said after he finished swallowing his food. Then he gave me a chastising glance and shook his head like he knew exactly what was on my mind.

I merely shrugged and provocatively smiled at him. He snickered back and was about to say something when his playful look suddenly turned serious and he uncomfortably straightened up when something behind me caught his attention. As a result, I put my chopsticks down and frowned. "He's here," I grumbled, and Tseng nodded.

"Walking straight to my office," he quietly murmured, and he put his hamburger down and pleaded with his eyes. "Don't be rude. He rarely comes to Midgar."

"That doesn't mean I don't get enough of him in Junon," I grumbled and stuffed a large amount of food into my mouth as Rufus made it to the door and rudely made his entrance.

"Don't the two of you see enough of each other at home?" Rufus asked as he invited himself in and smirked at me when I turned around with my mouth too full to reply.

"Friends have lunch together," Tseng replied as Rufus reached down and grabbed a rice ball from my container and arrogantly stuffed it in his mouth while smirking at me.

Then I gave Tseng a look to express how much I hated the pompous prick while I closed my container and stood so I was facing Rufus. "It's what friends do," I coldly said to him while he licked his fingers and smirked again. "You should try making some."

"I've no desire to involve myself in other people's dramas," he casually responded as he pushed me aside and took my seat. Then he grabbed one of Tseng's fries since I closed him off from taking any more of my food, and he stuffed it in his mouth while grinning at me.

"That's right," I coldly purred at him. "If you had to listen to others, you wouldn't be able to do all the talking."

"Sephiroth," Tseng said in a manner of disapproval and Rufus dismissively waved his hand at him while keeping his attention on me.

"It's all right," Rufus responded. "Consider it foreplay." Then he grabbed another fry from Tseng's container and curled it in his mouth with his tongue while playfully looking at me and I returned his attention with a look of disgust.

"Leviathan," Tseng grumbled as he decided we were hopeless and he stuffed another bite of his burger into his mouth.

"Not if you were the last man alive," I responded.

"I doubt that," Rufus replied, and he smirked again. "Everyone knows you can't keep it in your pants." Then he snorted while conspicuously spreading his legs a little. "Considering your record, it's only a matter of time until my number comes up."

"Rufus," Tseng urged in a way that suggested he really didn't like the direction things were going in, and Rufus only smirked as if he didn't care.

"Oh, I know," Rufus cockily answered while waving his hand dismissively at me and reaching for another of Tseng's fries. "He's on a _break_ right now." Then he sarcastically snorted and leaned closer to Tseng like he was sharing something confidential. "Considering it's not his _first _break, it's only a matter of time before he starts whoring around again."

After that, he carelessly shrugged, popped the fry into his mouth, and he turned to arrogantly smile at me. In a way, I guess it was a good thing since he missed the look in Tseng's eyes that revealed more than he probably wanted to.

"Isn't that right?"

Suddenly feeling sickened by Rufus calling me a promiscuous whore in front of the man I secretly swore my loyalty to, I decided it was time to make my leave before I wound up doing or saying something Tseng would regret.

* * *

><p>"You look like you just witnessed a train wreck," Angeal called as he caught up to me in the hall. Then he noticed me dumping my lunch into the trash. "You two get into a fight again?"<p>

I only shook my head while grumbling, "Rufus caught an earlier flight." Then I sighed and stared at the wall. "He figured he'd interrupt what started out as a nice lunch, and I lost my appetite."

Angeal chuckled at the thought and placed his arm around my shoulder as a friendly jest to lighten up. He knew what Rufus was like, and he knew how I felt about him. It wasn't like Rufus went out of his way to act like a human being around anyone.

"He's just jerking your chain," Angeal consoled. "If he knows he's getting under your skin, he'll set up camp and happily stay there. You know that."

"He's a sociopath," I grumbled as Angeal guided me down the hall and chuckled. "I have no idea why Tseng puts up with him."

"They're friends," Angeal reminded me as he patted my back, "and if you look at it that way, you should be asking yourself why he puts up with you."

"There's a big difference between me and Rufus," I argued.

"Oh?" Angeal playfully asked as we walked into an empty briefing room where Genesis was waiting.

"Yeah," I answered. "I have more than one friend."

Then we stopped and both stared at Genesis. He was sitting in the corner and looking at the floor as if he were deep in thought. He hadn't been the same since he tried to kill us in the training room, but it wasn't just his behaviour that changed. His appearance was changing too. He was looking older, more haggard, and his hair was starting to prematurely grey at the temples. It was subtle, but we noticed it.

He also seemed a little lethargic, which was causing Angeal to worry that whatever Hollander did to make him better wasn't working. He even half suspected Hollander made him worse, and I silently agreed without really wanting to. Despite our concerns though, Genesis insisted he was fine.

"Welcome, friends," Genesis lulled while still staring at the floor and waving his hand in a manner to urge us to join him. He sat forward with his forearms on his knees and seemed oddly relaxed and serene. "I've news to share."

"Oh?" Angeal asked as he stepped forward and I hesitated while taking a cautious look around. I couldn't help but feel he was up to something. I'd been cautious around him since the training room and I couldn't shake the feeling he might have still wanted me dead.

"I leave for Wutai in the morning," he answered, still staring at the floor as Angeal approached and I slowly followed.

"Are you sure that's wise?" I asked as Angeal took a seat beside him, and I stood in front of Genesis while looking down at him.

He lightly snorted and lazily shifted in his seat while lightly shaking his head. "You say that like you're concerned."

"We both are," Angeal said as he sat back and stared at Genesis' coat. Even his coat seemed duller. The red shade didn't seem as vibrant as it used to. It was almost like everything fiery about him was fading.

"Fear not," he consoled as he finally acknowledged me and looked me in the eye with a cynical expression. "I may not be as _heroic_ as Sephiroth, but I am just as capable." Then he let out a deep breath and sat back with his arms crossed while continuing to stare at me with a subtle smirk on his face. "I merely thought it would be a good time to spend one last night together."

"One last night?" Angeal asked, and Genesis smirked again.

Angeal couldn't hide his concerned expression as he carefully studied Genesis, and I couldn't blame him. I couldn't help but admit Genesis' tone sounded definite, and I knitted my brows while we kept our attention locked to each other.

"Before I leave," Genesis calmly corrected. It sounded like he was trying to set our minds at ease, and then he closed his eyes as if he were savouring something amusing. "It's a figurative way to say we'll meet again."

"Forever the cryptic poet," I mused as Genesis smirked again and opened his eyes. It wasn't the first mission he'd ever signed up for without letting either of us know ahead of time. What made it odd though, was that he'd normally only do that if Tseng were going, but Shinra felt they'd keep their best Turk away from Wutai during such a delicate mission.

The war between Shinra and Wutai escalated to a dangerous level, and Tseng was the best trained for such cases. Unfortunately, he was Wutian and he suspected it was the reason they kept him out of the loop. He said he was fine with it, and I told him if he couldn't go, I wouldn't either. However, I never expected Genesis to go. He believed Shinra deserved a worthy adversary such as the Wutians, and at times, he appeared to admire them more than Shinra.

He was growing bitter and less loyal that it had us both concerned. We couldn't help it. The man we once knew seemed to be replaced by someone who was becoming more foreign, dangerous, and aggressive by the day.

"You sure Wutai's a good idea?" Angeal asked with concern as he sat forward to study Genesis' expression. "Last I checked, you were rambling on about Shinra falling and Wutai being the new empire."

"They will, and they are," Genesis replied as he stood and regarded us both. "Wine and fine dining awaits," he said as he stood and dismissively looked down at Angeal. Then he turned his attention to me and sarcastically added, "Since you're a lightweight, _Water_ awaits you." Then he sarcastically smirked at me. "And don't forget to tell your _husband_ you'll be late this evening."

"What?" Angeal asked, and I shrugged on the off chance he'd believe Genesis was just being a dick instead of stating a fact. As far as I knew, Angeal had no idea about Tseng and me since I hadn't told him yet.

After that, Genesis started for the door and waved his hand for us to follow. "Come, my friends," he soothingly said as he gracefully moved. "Let us celebrate before a nation falls to its knees… for dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul…"

"Pride is lost," I quietly added, finishing the next line of Loveless as Angeal stood and warily regarded me. Then we followed Genesis with a strange sense of impending doom.

* * *

><p>About a month and a half passed since Genesis went to Wutai, and we were called to Lazard's office. It seemed strange that he wanted to see us, considering it seemed like an odd group to call in. It wasn't entirely odd since Turks and Soldiers often crossed paths. It just seemed odd that it was Angeal, Tseng, and I instead of some other random group.<p>

"Are you sure you have no idea what this is about?" I asked Tseng as we walked down the hall and he shrugged as if he genuinely didn't know, which also seemed odd.

The Turks always knew what was going on before anyone else since they were the Investigation sector of General Affairs, but he was just as confused as I was and seemed a bit nervous.

"You don't think they know, do you?"

"Know what?" I asked as Tseng shook his hands to loosen up.

Then he stated under his breath with a look of dread, "About us."

"If that were the case," I thoughtfully said. "It wouldn't explain why he wants to see Angeal too." Then we stopped outside Lazard's door and I added after making sure we were alone, "Not to mention, I don't see why _we_ should matter."

"I've worked hard to get where I am, Seph," He muttered as he adjusted the sleeves to his blazer and straightened it out. "I can't afford to have a scandal on my hands if I want to keep moving ahead, particularly given my heritage and the escalating situation with Wutai." Then he quietly muttered, "I'm lucky they haven't executed me."

"Right," I agreed. "But you're only _half_ Wutian."

"I don't think that matters during a delicate situation like this, and I'm tired of having to work harder than everyone else to prove my worth while having to worry more than everyone else because of my damned heritage."

"You're overreacting," I told him, knowing it probably wasn't going to help much. "I'm pretty sure you're worth more than you think you are," I attempted to console, but he just shook his head at me like it meant nothing. "I'd even go so far as to say you're probably irreplaceable."

"Everyone's replaceable," he argued back, and I frowned at him for being so negative. It wasn't like him to react that way, but I suppose I should have understood. "You're lucky. All you have to do is show up and everyone is star-stricken. There are no consequences for anything you do," he said as Lazard turned the corner and politely greeted us.

"Gentlemen," he said as he walked to his door and opened it while motioning for us to follow, and I grabbed Tseng by the shoulder to halt him for a moment. Then I shook my head when I realized there was nothing I could say.

* * *

><p>"Angeal is running late," Lazard told us as he stepped behind his desk and Tseng tensed up. "A soldier he was training was injured and he took him to the infirmary."<p>

_Sure he did,_ I sarcastically thought. I could feel the tension emanating from Tseng and guessed what must have been going through his head.

He was thinking Angeal was never called to the meeting. We were only told that so we'd come willingly, and now that we fell for their elaborate plan, they were going to confront us on something that wasn't anyone's business. Then, they were going to assassinate him in front of me for being gay enough to marry a man. The press would be released without hesitation so the whole world would know how gay he really was.

Of course, they were only going to do this because he was half Wutian and everyone knew the Wutian's couldn't be trusted. If he was lying about being gay, he must be lying about something even more important, like the fact that he was a Wutian spy sent to assassinate the President, Lazard, or worse—a group of kittens. The Wutian's were cunning like that, they knew well over a decade ago they'd need to send someone in to cozy up to the President. They knew even before they knew they'd go to war against Shinra.

That's just how cunning they were…

Well, since Angeal was running late, I rolled my eyes at the thought and pulled out my electronic reader to read a book while I waited. There was only so many ways to soothe Tseng's uncharacteristic paranoia, and anything I could do or say to set his mind at ease would look suspicious. So, I decided I would go about the situation the way I always did.

"Coffee?" Lazard asked, and I shook my head while Tseng said, "No… Thank you, Sir."

"That's right," Lazard said as he bent over to wake his computer. "You're a tea drinker, aren't you?"

"Yes," Tseng nervously responded. It wasn't obvious that he was nervous, but I felt I knew him better than anyone and had to give him credit for hiding it well as I clicked to the next page. "I'm fine though… Thank you, Sir."

_That's right,_ I sarcastically thought. _Good call at turning down the old poisoned tea trick. _Then I unwillingly snickered at the thought while thinking it was a good thing I was reading. Otherwise, my amusement might have looked suspicious.

"Very well," Lazard said as he straightened up. "You don't mind if I grab myself a cup, do you?"

"The machine's right there," I carelessly said while waving my hand to the wall Lazard kept it near. All the while, I kept my attention on my book and winced when Tseng kicked me in the shin for being rude when Lazard turned his back to us.

Naturally, I glared at Tseng with disapproval before I returned to my book, and he shifted uneasily in his seat while Lazard tactfully poured his coffee to make Tseng sweat a little longer. It was an old and well-tested method of torture, I believed—the old pouring of the coffee trick. It never failed, and I snickered again.

"It sounds like you're reading an entertaining book," Lazard said with his back to me. Naturally, the interrogation was meant to sound like small talk in order to make us uncomfortable before he got started on the weather. "I enjoy reading from time to time," he said. "Perhaps we've read some of the same books."

"Only if you like tragic romances," I said as I clicked to the next page.

"You find tragic romances amusing?" he asked as he added some cream and sugar to his coffee and stirred it.

"The dialogue is amusing," I offered while wondering how long Angeal was going to be. Maybe Tseng was right to worry, because the small talk really was a bit torturous.

At that, Lazard smirked and turned around. "How refreshing to know." Then he tapped on his cup while tilting his head. "I never would have guessed you were into cheesy romances." After that, he smiled to himself and adjusted his glasses as he returned to his desk and sat in his chair. "I would have pegged you as a historian buff, or into old war stories."

"I read for entertainment," I admitted. "If it's about something I do on a daily basis, it's not entertaining."

With another curious smile, Lazard sat back with his coffee in his hand. "What other types of books do you enjoy?"

I merely shrugged and put my reader down since it was obvious he wasn't going to let me read. Then I figured I might as well answer the man. "Anything that doesn't involve history or war."

"Interesting," Lazard said. "I guess we don't read the same books after all."

"Fascinating," I responded with disinterest, and Tseng shifted uneasily in his seat again.

Sensing he might have been bothering me, Lazard cleared his throat and turned his attention to Tseng. "What about you? Do you read?"

_Unreal_, I thought as I let out a heavy sigh and picked my reader back up so I could attempt to pick up where I left off. Maybe Tseng was right to worry. Lazard's attempt at conversation was torturous.

"I go through paper work all day," Tseng responded. I couldn't help but sense the question irritated him as well. "I don't feel like reading in my spare time."

"That's not true," I said as I clicked to the next page and ignored Tseng's annoyed glance while Lazard curiously regarded me. "He reads the newspaper."

"I see," Lazard responded. Then he paused long enough to take a sip of his coffee while attempting to come up with another topic to discuss. "I must admit I'm a little curious about how you spend your free time."

_Here we go, _I thought. Of all the things Lazard could have said, he had to bring up the one thing that would freak Tseng out the most.

"I'm not very interesting," Tseng curtly responded, and Lazard adjusted his glasses while sitting forward.

"On the contrary," he said as he put his cup on his desk. "You're probably the most interesting person I've ever met."

Then he folded his arms in front of him and studied the man in a strangely admiring way, but I don't think that's how Tseng interpreted it. "Think about it," he said. "You were born and raised in Wutai. Then you lived in the slums. You're well educated and struggled a great deal to overcome your obstacles. You're also a very classy dancer from what I've seen. To top it off, your roommate is one of the most elite soldiers in our company. If anything, you probably have the most interesting life and stories to tell. Surely, you and Sephiroth must do something together?

"It's actually quite refreshing to have the two of you together to see how you interact. You both have such highly regarded reputations that it's hard to imagine what the two of you are like when no one else is around."

_Crap, _I thought. As harmless as Lazard's curiosity was, he had no idea how damaging it was to the already paranoid Turk sitting next to me. As a result, Tseng shifted farther away from me as if he felt it meant something. Then he froze like a wild beast caught in Lazard's headlights. If anything, his behaviour at that moment was probably the most interesting.

That was, until Tseng blurted out, "I like puzzles and live entertainment." I think he thought it sounded like a reasonable way to change the topic.

"He also plays the violin," I added without removing my attention from my book. For some strange reason, part of me couldn't resist the urge.

"Really?" Lazard asked as if he were more interested than he already was. Then he let out a sigh and looked at his desk in thought for a moment. "I had no idea you were so talented. I hear that's a difficult instrument to play." Then he smiled while lifting his cup to his mouth. "Perhaps I could hear you play sometime?"

"I don't… " Tseng started before I intervened again.

"He's too shy to play in front of people."

"He must play in front of you?" Lazard guessed as he set his cup back down and adjusted his glasses. "Considering you know about it."

"Only by accident," I dryly breathed out while clicking to the next page and Tseng slightly reddened.

"I see," Lazard said as he leaned forward in confidence. He was obviously thrilled by the news. "How well does he play?"

"Better than you'd think," I honestly answered, despite that I wasn't willing to give him my undivided attention.

Then he turned his attention back to Tseng and studied him for a moment before curiously asking, "How long have you played?"

"My mother taught me when I was young," Tseng answered, unintentionally peeking Lazard's curiosity more since it was probably the first time he'd ever shed insight about her or his childhood. Then he uncomfortably shifted in his chair and hooked his index finger over his mouth, faintly rubbing at it as if to silence himself. I think it led Lazard to realize he was touching on a sensitive topic, and I think it's the reason he decided to change it all the sudden.

"You know…" he started as he tapped on his desk like he had an idea, but he decided to ask another question instead. "Do you enjoy live theatre?"

"I do," Tseng admitted while quickly nodding.

"I have two tickets to a play tomorrow night and no one to go with. I was going to give them away, but perhaps you'd like to join me?"

Okay, so I admit the question took me by surprise as well. I think it was an innocent invitation, but it didn't stop me from putting my book down so I could stare at Lazard like I had no idea who the hell he was all the sudden.

I think Tseng was taken back too. Mostly, because he dropped his hand to his side and just sat there, blinking at him like he was stunned. Then I think he might have panicked, considering what I think he was about to say.

"I'm not…" he said as he hesitated and I silently hoped he wasn't going to finish that sentence.

Luckily, fate was on his side that day.

"Sorry I'm late," Angeal said as he walked in and Tseng looked like he was about to pass out. As an act of sympathy, I let out a heavy sigh and felt a strange sense of relief overtake me.

"Is everything all right?" Lazard asked as he stood and motioned to an empty seat, and Angeal nodded while commenting there were some complications.

"They thought it was just a broken bone," he said as he took Lazard's offer, but apparently, it turned out to be something more serious.

"Well," Lazard said. "I certainly hope it's nothing too serious."

Anyway, after all was said and done, Lazard decided it was time to get to the reason he asked the three of us into his office. He started out by asking us how we felt about Genesis, which was odd. Naturally, Tseng said he didn't know him very well. Then he asked if Genesis said or did anything strange before he left for Wutai. We thought that was odd too, but we didn't voice our suspicions on the matter.

Again, Tseng said he didn't know him very well.

Part of me suspected he was wondering why he was there, considering Lazard's reason for calling us appeared to revolve around Genesis, and as Tseng insisted, he didn't know him very well.

"That's odd," Lazard said as he studied each of us in turn before he set his attention on Tseng. "I was under the impression you knew him well." Then he waved his hand at the door. "The two of you were always talking in the hallway."

"I…" Tseng started while both Angeal and I tensed up since we knew those encounters involved Genesis threatening Tseng more than it was friendly chitchat. "It was mostly business," Tseng coolly told him. Surprisingly, he was able to calm himself down enough to add to his web of lies. "Sometimes, it was just to pass on a message. We didn't really know each other very well."

Then he shrugged and Angeal and I both let out the breath we were holding, despite the number of times he insisted he didn't know Genesis very well could have appeared suspicious. It didn't help that Angeal and I both knew he probably knew Genesis better than he even let us know, considering he had an affair with him.

"If anything," Tseng added, "I'm not sure I should even be here. I apologize for not being much help."

"That's all right," Lazard said as he thoughtfully regarded Tseng. "It was my mistake." Then he sighed and pulled some files from his desk. "Regardless, we're still going to need your expertise on the matter. So, I would prefer it if you stayed."

"Matter?" Tseng curiously asked as he sat forward and Angeal and I curiously followed his lead.

"Yes." Lazard said. Then he let out a deep breath and regretfully regarded us. "A situation has arisen."

"Is Genesis all right?" Angeal quickly asked and Lazard uncomfortably adjusted his glasses.

"This may be difficult to hear," he admitted as we anxiously sat there, anticipating the worst. "But it appears Genesis may have defected."

"That's impossible," Angeal said. "He was as loyal as any of us."

I knew Angeal was in denial. So, I can't really say he was lying, but when I reflected on Genesis' behaviour since the incident in the training room, I couldn't really say I didn't have my doubts about Genesis' loyalty. He _was _behaving odd, but we failed to offer that information when Lazard was questioning us. I don't think we were willing to say it after hearing what we just heard either.

Part of me suspected it was a mistake. I think Angeal felt the same, and we weren't about to turn on him by making him sound worse than he was.

"Perhaps," Lazard openly thought. "Unfortunately, he disappeared with several soldiers from both sides and we're investigating the situation. Wutai isn't cooperating, which makes the situation more difficult to ascertain. All they are willing to offer are accusations regarding Shinra stealing their soldiers. As you can guess, the situation is escalating on both sides and making any attempt at a truce more difficult than it already was."

"How many soldiers?" Tseng asked. He appeared to be the only one participating at that moment. Not to mention he was oddly relieved the meeting had nothing to do with him being a gay half-Wutian who played the violin and enjoyed fruity plays. He was finally able to relax and be the Turk he was as his interest peeked while Angeal and I sat there tight-lipped and unsure.

"We've yet to determine the numbers at this point," Lazard answered. Then he let out another deep breath and regarded us again before setting his attention on Tseng. "That's where you come in."

"I see," Tseng mused as he thoughtfully sat back.

"I want you to head the investigation from this point onward. Your Wutian heritage and understanding of their culture might give us a better edge over the matter," he admitted, setting Tseng more at ease by the second. "We're hoping you might be more adept at getting the information we need. I've downloaded what we know onto your system so you can get started right away. I'd also like the three of you to stay in the loop on this one.

"Angeal, Sephiroth," Lazard said as he regarded us. "Your personal relationships with Genesis are pertinent. We feel the two of you will have the best chance at tracking him down and finding out what he's up to. I'll also be assigning a Second class Soldier to work with you. He's shown much promise and I feel this will be a great opportunity for him. I realize this is a sensitive matter and hope I can trust personal feelings won't get in the way."

The latter seemed like a question, but neither Angeal nor I answered. Lazard appeared to sense our apprehension and added, "If either of you feel you're not up to this, we need to know before advancing to the next stage."

"Who's the Soldier that'll be accompanying us?" Angeal dumbly asked. It almost seemed like it was the only thing he heard.

"His name is Zack Fair," Lazard answered. "I believe you've been mentoring him."

"He's a good soldier," Angeal admitted.

Lazard nodded in agreement while sitting forward again. "He is, and this will be a great opportunity for him to work with Shinra's best," Lazard said as he turned his attention to Tseng and added, "We're considering him for a promotion, and working with our best Turk will add to an opportunity of a lifetime." Then his attention returned to us and he asked, "Does this mean Shinra can count on you?"

Despite that we didn't really want to go against someone we considered a friend, we both wanted to know what was going on as much as Shinra at that point. The thought of Genesis turning on Shinra and creating his own army was hard to swallow at first, but the more we thought about it, the more we had our doubts.

I think part of us wanted to be involved so we could prove it was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding. If we found Genesis, we could get to the bottom of his disappearance. Maybe it was just a mistake and we could help clear his name. Worst-case scenario, we could at least attempt to reason with him.

As for Tseng's involvement, I didn't doubt for a second I'd have to keep my motives to myself. We both took our jobs seriously, and I was certain he didn't feel the same way we did. If anything, he'd disapprove and voice his concerns to the authorities.

Regardless, we all knew things were about to get interesting, and as we were leaving Lazard's office to get started on our mission, Lazard called to Tseng and reminded him of the play.

"I know it's short notice," he said as Tseng stood in the doorway and dumbly stared at him. It also caught both my and Angeal's attention, and we stood behind him while waiting to see the outcome. "But it would be a great opportunity to get to know each other better."

"I…" Tseng dumbly responded again and I felt like planting my face in my palm. I was hoping he wouldn't panic and blurt out he wasn't gay like he almost did the first time. I also knew the idea of spending an evening with Lazard wasn't exactly on his list of things to do. He didn't dislike Lazard. He generally enjoyed socializing with those he felt were key players to advancing his own career, but I think he wasn't sure what Lazard's motives were.

As a result, he was thrown off guard again.

So, I figured I might as well save him.

"Isn't that the night you play cards with your friends?" I asked.

Ironically, it was.

On the other hand, it didn't change the fact that Tseng was a sucker for punishment, and he turned the tables by offering a seat at the table. They could always use another player, he told him. "Unless you really had your heart set on the play," he said, and walked himself into a corner.

Regardless, if he wasn't interested in accepting my help, there was no point in sticking around. So, Angeal and I left him to sweat under the heat.

_Dumbass…_

* * *

><p>"Sometimes, I can't help but think you're pathetic," I purred into his ear after I got into bed. Then I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him closer while snickering at him when he admitted he didn't know what else to say.<p>

I had to admit it was a little hard to believe, considering he was generally able to come up with a story without giving it much thought any other time. If it wasn't for him being a Turk, I'd say lying was his profession, but as it was, Lazard put him on the spot.

"He's my boss," he grumbled while I tried to slip my hand under his shirt and kiss his neck. I was feeling frisky, but he was scrunching his shoulder and struggling to push me away.

It was okay, I liked it when he played hard to get, and part of me suspected that was why he played it.

"What would you do if it turned out he really was trying to court you?" I teasingly asked, and he scoffed at me while lightly slapping my face away.

"You have a one-track mind," he grumbled as he grabbed his pillow and threw it over his head to protect himself from me.

"I can't help it," I admitted. "You're too sexy to think of any other way."

"Stop it."

With a smile, I pulled his pillow away and stared at his closed eyes. His lashes were thick and luxurious, so black that they contrasted beautifully against his pale skin, and I started lightly kissing them while he weakly tried to push me away and hide his amusement.

"Would you stop?" he asked, unable to keep his smile hidden any longer, and I pulled back to fan his hair across the pillow so I could admire everything about him. Then I leaned down and inhaled the subtle scent of his cologne and the lavender he was still using.

I was concerned that he was still using it, mostly because it meant he probably needed it, and I hid my frown while burying my face in his neck and blinked my eyes to tickle him with my lashes.

"Seph—" he chastised as he weakly pushed me again. "Seriously… after talking with Lazard today, I thought you wouldn't be in the mood."

"I'm always in the mood when it comes to you," I openly admitted, but then he pushed me back with a serious look in his eyes.

He ran his deep brown eyes over me in study, like he wasn't taking me seriously, and then he let out a heavy sigh. He knew I wasn't much for talking when it came to what I was feeling, and he was right to be concerned as he lifted his hand to gently brush my hair from my eyes, despite that he hated looking into them. I know he said it was the look I had, but I also knew it was more.

They were unnatural, and it bothered him. I didn't stop him though, and he sucked in his bottom lip for a second as he searched for the answers he suspected he'd find. Then he nodded as if to confirm his silent thoughts and he lightly massaged his fingers into my scalp.

"I know he's your friend," he compassionately muttered. "But there's a possibility…"

"I know," I admitted as I closed my eyes and lowered my face into his hair. Then I kissed the side of his face while trying to brush my concerns away. Despite all the wrongs involving Genesis, he was right. I did care, and I heavily breathed onto his neck while I tried to seek comfort the only way I knew how. It might have frustrated him, but I couldn't help it as I tried to slip my hand down his pants.

He didn't stop me that time though, and out of curiosity, I lifted my head so I could stare into his eyes again, and he stared back into mine with that silent apprehension I knew he carried about my appearance.

"Do you remember when you said you'd rather die than be a…" I hesitated for moment when the thought of everything I've been hiding from him regarding Hojo and his secret condition flooded my mind, and I finished while wrapping my hand around his hidden desires, "Monster?"

He only nodded as his eyes lightly glazed over while he kept his fingers in my hair. Then his other hand carefully trailed down my chest. His fingers lightly grazed my skin while they criss-crossed their way down, feeling everything he wished he never desired. "I meant it," he admitted in a tone that almost sounded seductive.

"Why?" I asked, realizing I almost sounded sad as I closed my eyes and softly moaned when he reached his destination with a touch that only a skilled hand would know.

"Not now," he airily breathed as he pulled my fingers to his mouth. "I just… don't wanna be… something I can't stand…"

"Can't stand…" I repeated with a low purr while I watched him snake his tongue around my fingers to seductively pull them into his mouth. His eyes were closed, and I found myself studying him again. It wasn't so much in admiration as it was something else that time. Sadly, at the time, I didn't realize it was regret.


	22. Benumbing

**Benumbing**

* * *

><p><strong>I know it's been a long time. I haven't had a lot of chances to be able to work on this for some time. I'm hoping I'll be back on track for the rest of this story though. I'd like to wrap it up soon. Sorry for the insanely long wait. Life happens sometimes. :)<strong>

* * *

><p>Days go by and Genesis continues to force Tseng to share a bed with him. He claims he does it so he can keep an eye on Tseng to ensure he doesn't wander off again, and despite the innuendos Genesis often threatens him with, he does nothing to act on it. He brings his mouth dangerously close to Tseng's often as if he enjoys taunting him, but he never does anything beyond that.<p>

It's been over a year since he brought Tseng into his life. The only company either of them has had is each other. In some ways, they've come to accept and rely on one another, but it never stops them from stating their distaste at the situation they both claim to be imprisoned by. Every time Tseng senses Genesis watching him, he cringes as if he can feel Genesis' eyes darken every time he looks at him.

Then the two of them grow uncomfortable, irritable, and continuously violent toward one another. They openly blame each other for everything wrong with their lives. Genesis doesn't blame Tseng for what he is any more, and he no longer accuses him of knowing all along. Instead, he blames him for ignoring him when he asked for help, and he blames him for turning his back on him when he needed him the most.

Often, after a heated discussion, Genesis will leave to the abandoned house he claimed as his own. Tseng will accuse Genesis of abandoning him while Genesis does his best to ignore him, only to return to Tseng accusing him of trying to starve him to death.

"It's not like I can leave to fend for myself!" Tseng often says. "You keep me locked up while you go gallivanting around doing Leviathan-knows-what for all hours of the night!"

"Oh?" Genesis will often sarcastically respond, "I thought you liked it when you got the bed to yourself."

Then he'll resort to taunting Tseng for missing him and assuring him that, "I'm not Sephiroth. There's no need to be jealous of nothing. We're also in the middle of nowhere. I've no idea what type of gallivanting you think I must be doing."

He also reminds Tseng of what happened the last time he got out.

"Oh… right, I broke my leg and you went insane and thought it would be fun to torture me while threatening to force your uncontrollable libido on me. For a man who claims he's not gay, you sure as hell go out of your way to make that statement a contradiction."

"I guess you're lucky you're impotent… Luckily for you, I'd get no satisfaction from not shaming you into getting some for yourself."

After that, Genesis will manage to somehow bring up every lover Tseng's ever had while reminding him that they're all dead. "It appears to be hazardous to one's health to get involved with you…"

On the contrary, as much as he likes to get under Tseng's skin, he does everything to make him comfortable and ensure he's taken care of. He goes out of his way to make sure Tseng has most of what his heart desires, and he frets over his condition since the night he used the Restore Materia on him. It's almost like he feels guilty, regardless that they both seem to enjoy throwing that night into each other's faces.

It doesn't matter though, everything Genesis does for Tseng makes the man more irritable with him. It appears Tseng wants nothing more than to go outside. He wants to feel the fresh air against his skin. He wants to breathe it in, and he makes no attempt to hide how much he desires his freedom.

As a result, they fight over the reasons why Genesis keeps him confined to a handful of rooms, and Genesis grows weary of constantly telling him it's for his own good. Despite his efforts, even I grow suspicious of his reasons.

He's made it clear to Tseng there's a man out there who will hurt him, if not worse. However, it was also made clear to me that Genesis can easily overpower the other man. He's no threat, save for the mysterious person he wants the other man to kill.

Despite all that, Genesis angrily leaves Tseng alone again. They fought over breakfast when Tseng complained his food was cold. Then he complained about how Genesis used to take him to the baths.

"As much as I despise your company, you used to at least let me get out of this hellish nightmare of a prison you think I should call a home," Tseng said, and Genesis nearly lunged at him like he wanted to strangle him to death. Then he thought better of it.

Instead, he grabbed his coat and stormed outside, locking Tseng in while Tseng yelled after him through the locked door. Then Tseng frustratingly sighed before he felt around for the violin Genesis found in one of the abandoned homes a couple of days ago.

When Genesis brought it to him, Tseng tossed it aside and acted like he couldn't have cared less about it. This is the first time Tseng has acknowledged it, and he carefully opens the case and feels along the smooth fine wood of the instrument while focussing on a few chips along the edges with a slight smile as if he's imagining the life it had before it came to him.

It's been so long since he played, and he feels for the bow and feels along the coarse hairs of it before feeling for the resin to prepare it. Then after a few moments of playing with the tension on the strings to properly tune it from memory, Tseng cups the instrument under his chin and closes his eyes.

Outside, Genesis rummages through the old homes until he finds a small cage. It's fit for a small animal and he inspects its structures to ensure it's in good condition.

"He wants a cat…" he bitterly grumbles as he plays with the door of the cage and frowns, opening and closing it to make sure it works properly. "I'll get him his damned cat."

Then he stands and sighs like he has no idea why he does half the things he does, and he leaves the abandoned home to search for an animal he doubts exists.

He wanders the empty streets, laboriously stepping through the deep snow until something catches his attention and he stops like he's suddenly cautious. His lips purse and his jaw tenses when he notices fresh footprints leading to the bathhouse he used to take Tseng to. It's accompanied by something that appears like drops of blood, and Genesis nearly drops the cage as he curses.

Then his grip tightens on the cage and he cautiously follows the trail to the outside deck, and he stops again, almost paling with a growing look of disappointment. It's accompanied by another expression almost resembling remorse.

He doesn't know for sure, but he thinks it might be the cat he doubted existed. Its lifeless body is stiff and Genesis carefully walks closer to inspect it. The trail of blood leads to it before appearing to lead to the main door, and upon closer inspection, it appears the cat's neck is broken.

"Poor thing," Genesis breathes out as he kneels beside it and strokes its lifeless fur with his gloved hand. Then he closes his eyes and spends a moment in what appears to be a silent prayer, and he stands while looking at the door. "Perhaps it's better this way," he quietly muses, and he opens the door and stops near the entrance with bitter eyes at the sight before him.

"Oops," says another voice. It comes from a man with white hair. He's sitting in the bath, and he smirks at the cage Genesis is holding. "Was that your cat?"

Genesis merely shakes his head and puts the cage down, and he admits, "I have no idea." Then he turns his attention to the white-haired male and glares at him.

"Too bad," Weiss answers with a cruel smirk. "It would have been more satisfying if it were yours." Then he dangles his fingers in the water and lightly flicks the droplets across the surface while staring at Genesis with an amused expression. "Of course, it doesn't explain your little cage."

With a heavy sigh, Genesis shakes his head and regards the man again and sarcastically muses, "I thought you were on an impossible mission."

"I was," Weiss answers. "I was on my way to Icicle Inn when I discovered he was making his way here." With an odd expression and narrowed eyes, Weiss stares at the water and heavily sighs. "Or so it appears." Then he turns his attention to Genesis and suspiciously studies him. "Naturally, I followed his trail, and again, I couldn't find him. I must have searched the outskirts of your town for over a day.

"I couldn't find any sign of him," he says while Genesis crosses his arms over his chest and Weiss smirks at a passing thought. "That was, until something odd happened."

"What would that be?" Genesis asks with mild irritation.

"Well," Weiss starts before he takes another deep breath. "I was standing near the entrance to your quaint little town when it felt like something grazed my arm." At that, Weiss draws attention to a mark on his upper bicep. It's a deep red line that appears to have healed somewhat. "Apparently, our little friend is quite the sniper."

Then he grabs his coat from the floor near the bath and tosses it at Genesis' feet, and Genesis kneels down to pick it up while studying the bullet hole on the sleeve, poking his finger through it while frowning. "I suppose I was lucky I decided to move at the last minute. Otherwise, who knows what could have happened?"

"I suppose he might have killed you," Genesis quietly muses as he tosses the coat to the floor and watches Weiss step out of the bath without shame. Genesis merely keeps his attention on the man's oddly coloured eyes while showing no expression regarding the naked form in front of him.

"You know," Weiss says as he stands and the water drips from his body to the floor. "It kind of brings me back to the topic of my initial suspicions."

"Oh?" Genesis asks as if he's not interested.

"Yeah," Weiss answers as he wryly smirks. "I must admit I'm curious to see how long it will take you to pack up and leave without a trace again." Then he walks toward Genesis and stops when he's at an arm's length from him. "Of course, I'm even more curious to see if you will, considering you have eyes on you this time.

"I'm almost willing to bet you'll dig yourself deeper into that labyrinth of underground pathways just to keep whatever you're hiding hidden."

"I've nothing to hide."

"Really?" Weiss sarcastically asks. "I must admit it appears you're lying, considering it's obvious you're not living where you pretend to be living. Wherever you've made your home, you've hidden it well," he tells him as he crosses his arms across his bare chest and studies Genesis' expression. "I've discovered your hidden access hatch to the passages below, and I've gone through them, looking for you to no avail.

"I'm curious…"

"Yes," Genesis carelessly responds. "You've said that several times now."

With a smirk, Weiss sweeps his eyes over Genesis and settles on the cuff where Genesis keeps his Summon Materia. Then he returns his attention to Genesis' eyes and narrows his own. "Why are you going through so much trouble to hide from a man you have no need to hide from?" After that, he turns his attention to the cage and stares at it. "And why would you, of all people, want a cat?

"Surely, you're not going to tell me you've suddenly grown lonely," he says as he returns his attention to Genesis' eyes. "You, of all people, lack the compassion it requires to take care of such an animal."

"Perhaps you don't know me as well as you think you do," Genesis coldly responds as Weiss steps closer and snorts at him.

"Are you seeking companionship?" he wryly asks like he already knows the answer. "Or are you suddenly feeling guilty about not being able to offer the companionship your captive requires."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Genesis flatly states.

"I think you do," Weiss responds as he steps closer and places his hand flat against the wall by Genesis' head. "He's looking for someone, and you're persistent about staying hidden from him, almost like you have what he wants."

Then he coyly smiles at Genesis and places his other hand against the wall on the other side of Genesis' head to close him in. "I can't help but admit you appeared on edge when I mentioned Tseng's name the last time we spoke. Not to mention the man you want me to kill keeps finding his way to you. To think I was fool enough to mention finding him to use as bait when you already possess that bait.

"It must be difficult for you… Not being able to have human contact without the fear of passing your mutating genes along. It's like having a venereal disease."

"How unfortunate for me," Genesis says as if he's not too upset about the circumstances. Then he smirks and genuinely laughs out. "You really are reaching…" After that, he lazily rests the back of his head against the wall. "I told you the Turk is dead, and hiding a Turk from a man I have no need to fear makes no sense, especially when you're well aware I wanted nothing more than to see him suffer."

"Hm," Weiss mutters as his eyes searchingly wander over Genesis' face. "Suffer…" he thoughtfully repeats. "I was under the impression your bitterness stemmed from an unusual desire for him."

"Unusual," Genesis repeats while seeming unaffected by Weiss' assumptions.

"Yes," Weiss responds. "Considering you and Rosso had a thing going. It's strange you'd want the company of a male."

"Rosso was a fine woman," Genesis admits. Then he outright laughs and stares Weiss in the eyes. "But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you'd come up with something as insane as me hiding a dead Turk and desiring him, considering you appeared to have eyes for your own brother. It's no wonder you fantasize about clandestine couplings."

Weiss sneers and then snorts as he moves his hand to Genesis' neck and rests his thumb over his oesophagus. "I would love to choke the life out of you. Right here. Right now," he admits while Genesis does nothing but stare defiantly at the man.

"If you could," Genesis says. "I'd do nothing to stop you."

"Such a pity for a waste of skin and bone like yourself to wish for something every one else would love to see happen to you," Weiss muses as he moves his face intimidatingly close to Genesis'. "Your sad existence surely wouldn't be missed."

"Yet you keep seeking me out."

"As does our friend," Weiss responds. Then he smirks and pushes himself away before setting his attention to his clothes on the floor. "At any rate, it appears our destinies are now tied. Our friend knows I'm here, and I know you're here, and I don't doubt for a second you have something our friend is after."

With a wry smirk, Weiss picks his pants from the floor and slips his legs into them before doing them up. "As much as you wanted to stay out of it, I'm afraid you're now an integral part of it. Even if you're not hiding something, he's tracking you for a reason. He's coming here, and that makes you a valuable player in the game now.

"You can rest assured, Genesis, I'm not going anywhere."

"And you can rest assured," Genesis responds as Weiss fastens the buckle on his belt. "That I have no intention of getting involved."

"That's a give in," Weiss responds. "You've already proven your lack of desire to get involved long ago, even when we needed you most, and now, you have countless deaths on your hands that could have been avoided—like your precious Rosso."

"And your brother," Genesis needles as he straightens up and Weiss turns to coldly stare the man in the eyes again. "In any case, since you have no intention of leaving, I must insist that you keep your friend and yourself from entering the underground passages. It's my home, and I don't recall inviting either of you here."

"I won't make a promise I can't keep," Weiss coldly responds as his eyes narrow at Genesis. "In the meantime, that cozy little shack you pretend to live in will suit me fine." Then he walks up to Genesis and lightly strokes his cheek. "That is, until I find out where you're hiding, and what you're hiding."

After that, Weiss smirks at Genesis and opens the main door to step outside. He cautiously looks to the mountains, apparently suspecting that's where the man they keep talking about is. Then he smiles at Genesis with cold eyes and turns his attention to the cage on the floor. "I think, tonight, that cat will serve as a fine meal."

* * *

><p>"Mmm," Tseng moaned when I started massaging his shoulders while he sat beside me on the sofa. "A little more to the left…"<p>

"Here?" I asked as I scooted closer and he sat forward.

"Yes. Right there…"

I returned from a lengthy mission from Wutai that day. Shinra ordered me home when the situation concerning Genesis started to look like he was making his way to Midgar. Angeal and I had no luck finding him, and it was becoming apparent that Genesis was declaring war on us.

Luckily, for Tseng, he made a new friend in the bureau. As it turned out, he and Lazard discovered they had much in common and had frequent play dates, as I liked to call them. I supposed it was good for Tseng to get out with someone other than a Turk. I also had no doubt that Tseng viewed his new friendship as a lucrative opportunity for advancement in his career.

Apparently, Lazard didn't have many friends because of the rumours about him being Rufus' half brother. He shut himself out and tried his best to avoid the gossip and the questions. Maybe he figured since Tseng raised Rufus he'd be less invasive on the topic. He would have been right if that were the case, but the truth was that Tseng never seemed to care about the stories.

He never spoke of his speculations, if he had them, and he never viewed Lazard as a 'Shinra.' He was just another person in the world. Albeit, he was one that could help Tseng advance his career if he played his cards right.

In a way, I had to admit I was relieved Lazard's interest in Tseng was purely for the sake of companionship and a shared interest in the arts. Much to Tseng's relief, it appeared that Lazard had no interest in peering into Tseng's love life, or pursuing one with him either.

"So, he doesn't have anyone in his life?" I asked.

"Apparently not," Tseng shrugged as he reached for his tea on the coffee table and took a sip. "He's a bit odd that way."

"How so?"

"He's quite the recluse," Tseng mused as I worked my fingers deeper into his shoulder. "Frankly—oh yes… right there—I'm surprised he even wants to go anywhere with me."

"Maybe he likes you," I toyed as I leaned closer and lightly rubbed the tip of my nose over his neck.

"Goodness… No," he laughed as he gently pushed me away. "He's shown no interest in men—at all. He just… seems a bit lonely. However," he started as he sat back and turned to me. "I'm starting to think he likes the girl at the concession stand of the theatre he always wants to go to. I've noticed he appears more awkward and quiet around her than anyone else."

"Ah," I breathed out as I leaned against his shoulder and grabbed his hand to intertwine my fingers with his. "He's using you."

"Perhaps," Tseng breathed out before he took another sip. "It certainly makes his desire to hang out with me less odd."

"True," I mused. "In his eyes, you're single and probably just as awkward around women as he is."

"I'm not awkward around women," he protested.

"Unfortunately, no," I admitted. "But in his eyes, you haven't settled down with anyone since…"

I thought twice about finishing my sentence and regretted bringing it up when I noticed him tense. He didn't like talking about his wife or his daughter. In a way, I don't think he ever got over it. Part of me suspected it had more to do with the betrayal he felt over the matter, and the fact that his little girl was part of that tragedy. For all I knew, his daughter may have been the only reason he didn't like talking about it. I didn't fully understand it, but I assumed it was the part that hurt him the most.

"Well, you may be the only single male he knows," I said, hoping to take his mind away from thoughts that always brought him down. "Maybe he's hoping you can help each other."

"I'm not single."

"We know that," I said as I looked up at him and watched him close his eyes. "But due to your need for secrecy, no one else knows."

"Don't start."

"I wasn't going to," I admitted as I sat up so we were at the same level. "I was just stating a fact."

"Yes, well," he started as he slipped his fingers under my chin and drew me closer. "Despite my need for secrecy, I've grown complacent with my choices."

"Is that so?" I purred before he leaned closer and brushed his lips against mine.

"Yes," he muttered. "I'm afraid it's too late to trade you in."

"What a shame," I mumbled, and then he pressed his mouth to mine and I invitingly warmed to his offer.

It was growing more rare, but I had to admit I still loved it when he took the initiative. I loved it even more when he took on the dominating role. Somehow, in my mind, it confirmed that he felt the same way for me that I did for him.

I had no qualms about him guiding me onto my back while he let his weight settle above me. To me, it meant that he still desired me.

"Seph," he muttered while he reached to undo the buckle on his belt, "take off your pants." Then he pressed his mouth to mine again, and I obeyed his every order.

_Oh… Daddy…_

* * *

><p>In the days that followed, Genesis appeared to be making his move. He took advantage of the growing threat from the Wutai terrorists entering our territory. It was a tactical move that left us almost blind. We had no idea who was coming at us.<p>

To top things off, it appeared someone tampered with the training for Zack and put my image in there to kill him. Angeal claimed he was lucky he was there to save the boy in time. We also learned there was a mass desertion at Soldier. Lazard discovered through Intel that Genesis didn't only desert his post with a handful of soldiers from either side, he took Second and Third Class Soldiers with him too. Once Shinra discovered he took higher ranking Soldiers, it became apparent to them that he was a bigger threat than they initially assumed.

During those trying days, Angeal spent most of his time with Zack, Mentoring and befriending him. Lazard and Angeal even took him to Wutai to see what he was made of so Lazard could see it firsthand, and after Zack completed his mission, someone summoned Ifrit and attacked him. He was lucky I was there to save him, and that was when we noticed Genesis didn't only take soldiers. He somehow managed to make copies of himself. He had clones. Again, the higher ranks in Shinra realized that Genesis had officially declared war on us.

Sadly, those weren't the only unfortunate discoveries. Somewhere during the time in Wutai, Angeal disappeared as well. If only they sent me sooner, I thought as I approached Zack while he was on a mission with Angeal and I asked where he was when I noticed Zack was alone. It wasn't like Angeal to leave the boy when he was supposed to be assessing him.

What made matters worse, Zack had no idea where Angeal disappeared to. He claimed he was with him only a moment ago. He was fighting near him, and I openly concluded, "Huh… So he's gone too." I could only assume he betrayed us as well. He was Genesis' best friend. I knew he didn't want to believe Genesis was going to the extremes he was going to, and I could only hope he may have left to find him in hopes of talking some sense into him. I couldn't think of any other reason for him to disappear, and I couldn't fathom either of them ever wanting to harm each other, despite what happened in the training room.

After all, it was me Genesis was angry with; not Angeal.

* * *

><p>"Leviathan," Tseng muttered as he hung up his phone and shook his head. "We may as well cancel our trip to Costa Del Sol this winter."<p>

"That bad?"

"That was Lazard," he answered. Then he nodded and professionally patted my shoulder. "The situation with Genesis is getting too out of hand. It doesn't look like it will end soon."

"Agreed," I solemnly replied while he picked up his phone and dialled Zack's number.

"You're calling Zack?" I asked, knowing Tseng never communicated with him.

"At Lazard's request."

"Sounded more to me like you volunteered," I pointed out while frowning at him while he smirked back at me.

"I did," he cheekily responded. "At Lazard's request." Then he held up his hand when his call was answered. "Soldier Second Class, Zack?"

It was the first time he ever spoke with the boy, and as usual, Tseng didn't bother introducing himself. It was obvious he was having fun with it by the way he hid his smile as he casually refused to answer when he was asked who he was. Instead, all he said was, "Director Lazard wants to see you. Go to the briefing room."

Then he hung up and chuckled.

"You know," I commented as he put his phone away. "For someone who's always telling me I can be a real jerk, you could sure use some work on it yourself."

"Noted," he breathed out as he picked up his empty teacup and looked at it with a frown. Then he turned his attention to me and wryly smirked. "Either way, I suppose he'll have plenty of time to figure out who I am when we go to Genesis' home town together."

"Hmph," I muttered as I took his cup from him and fought the urge to show my affection since we were in his office. "That's if you'll let him figure out who you are."

Regardless, I couldn't say I was too happy about Lazard sending Tseng out with a Second Class Soldier to investigate Genesis' parents. Then again, I should have known better than to turn it down when the offer was originally brought to me. Genesis was still out there, and Tseng was no match for him. The reason I turned it down was because I didn't want him going in the first place. I also didn't approve of what Tseng was just ordered to do.

That was my first mistake. To make matters worse, Tseng accepted the job without hesitation and didn't discuss it with me while I stood right in front of him when he took and gave the order. I wasn't convinced a Second Class Soldier would stand a chance against Genesis, considering I bailed the kid out not long ago when Genesis' clones attacked him with a Summon in Wutai. Not only that, Lazard should have known better than to send someone like him to escort Tseng.

Unfortunately, I already refused to involve myself any further. I made it clear I didn't want anything to do with hunting down Genesis any more, particularly after Angeal disappeared. No one questioned me and it was too late to change my mind. If I were to suddenly offer to go in place of Zack, Tseng would argue that it would look suspicious.

To top it off, rumours already started throughout the building that Shinra's cloning technology was stolen and that Genesis must have found someone to help him use it. I heard others say it was the same technology used on Soldiers. They were also starting to say that Soldiers and monsters were the same. It wouldn't have surprised me if Shinra started scrutinizing me because of it.

Not only that, the only friends I ever had were the same ones who deserted Shinra, and I wouldn't have doubted Shinra was wondering how long it would take me to join them.

I didn't really know what they were thinking. I was only speculating and acting in a way I felt benefited everyone. Tseng didn't seem concerned about it and felt I was overreacting. It may have been why he was more adamant about getting to the bottom of it than I was. He was also more willing to destroy any evidence he came across than I was to protect those he cared about.

It was almost like a part of him was considering the possibility of us being more than enhanced. Maybe he was starting to believe we really weren't human, and I wasn't too sure how he really felt about it other than the fact that he seemed more distant with me than usual.

"Sephiroth…" he sternly told me after I told him I didn't want him going. "I need to get to the bottom of this."

"Even if you don't like what you find?" I asked, knowing I was more concerned about how it would affect me than him.

He didn't seem to notice what was really bothering me though, and he shook his head and turned his back to me in thought. "At this point," he started as he slightly turned his head to acknowledge me. "There is nothing to make me suspect I'll find anything at all." Then he completely turned to me and placed his hand on my shoulder in a brotherly way. "The only thing we know for sure is Genesis deserted his post and turned against Shinra. As far as Angeal, he may have just left to try to talk some sense into him. Either way, I'm determined to find out why."

"And you'll do it whether I want you to or not," I coldly concluded.

He didn't answer. Instead, he lowered his head, patted my shoulder, and he walked to the door and opened it. Then he paused for a moment and partially turned his head as he half-heartedly consoled. "Even if I do find something I wish I hadn't, it won't change who we already are."

Sadly, that's what I was afraid of as he straightened his jacket and walked from my sight.

He had a vague idea how I felt about the situation since Genesis disappeared. He also knew Angeal's disappearance had an affect on me, but I couldn't help but feel he had no idea how much I didn't want us to be pitted against each other if things went that far.

Even if he were convinced nothing would change who we were on the inside, nothing would change his feelings if he found out we really were monsters.

It caused the worst thoughts surfacing in my mind. What would I do to him if it came to that? Would I kill him? Would I force him to stay with me against his will? What was I capable of doing to ensure he stayed by my side and accepted me?

Part of me thought of dismembering him so he'd never be able to leave my side. To be less extreme, I could chain him up in the middle of nowhere. I could drug him and make it so he had no choice but to accept me. I could show him…

Another part of me thought of taking him to Hojo. If Hojo was capable of erasing Tseng's short-term memories of everything he did to him, he could…

No…

Doing those things would only confirm I really was a monster. I knew Tseng enough to know it would only make matters worse. The best I could do was sit back while he went on a mission to question Genesis' parents on where he might have gone and why. I had to wait while he explored Banora and its surrounding area for clues. All I could do was hope he'd find nothing at all. I had to believe the stories I was hearing were only rumours, and so did he…

He had to believe it too.

* * *

><p>When Tseng finally returned from the mission he agreed to go on with Zack, I found myself angrily waiting for him in our apartment. After everything I heard about it from others, I couldn't help but want to confront him on his decisions I didn't agree with.<p>

"You gave the order to blow up Genesis' and Angeal's home town," I coldly said when Tseng walked through the front door and locked it behind him. "Did you even bother to warn the innocent victims?"

"Angeal killed his own mother," he said, not bothering to answer my question.

"What?" I asked as Tseng hung his blazer in the closet and undid his tie like he said nothing at all. I was overwhelmed by what he just said and completely forgot I was angry at him.

"She's dead," he answered. "Angeal murdered her, just like Genesis did to his own parents and several of our comrades. It's been confirmed. They're both deserters."

"Confirmed," I repeated as I watched him remove his tie and nod with is back to me. "By whom?"

"By me," he answered. Then he walked to the bedroom. Again, he acted and spoke like he was saying nothing important as he dropped his tie into the hamper and started undoing the buttons on his shirt. "There were fresh graves near the house Genesis grew up in. Several. I dug them up and found what I suspected I might find. After that, we ran into him."

"Him?" I asked, "Which one?"

"Both, actually—Both Angeal and Genesis." Then he removed his shirt and tossed it into the hamper as well. His entire chest and back were bruised and red like something hit him hard, and he chuckled in an unconvincing way. "Apparently, Zack saw the whole thing before Genesis attacked him with a Summon. Then he turned into some sort of winged beast," he said as he dug around one of his drawers for a clean shirt.

All the while, I stared at his injured back in bewilderment.

_A winged beast?_

"Mm," he mumbled as if he were answering my thoughts and slipped his shirt over his head. After that, he dug around for a casual pair of pants to accompany it while mumbling as if he were in a daze, "Only one wing… he said… Then he flew away…"

"Flew away?" I asked while disbelievingly shaking my head. What he said didn't make any sense. "That's…" I started as Tseng removed his pants and underwear so he could replace them with the clean ones he took out. I was unable to come up with a response that made any more sense than what he was saying, "Absurd…"

"I concur," he casually responded, and he turned to me while doing his pants up. He looked at me like he wasn't really looking at me. Part of me felt he didn't really want to look at me, but he did it to try to convince himself I wasn't like them. I was positive that's what he was doing.

"Oh, and by the way," he coldly added. "I'm disappointed you'd think I'd be careless enough to order an entire village obliterated without making sure it was cleared out first."

"Why?" I sarcastically asked as he walked passed me from the room. "I hardly know who you are any more."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said as he walked to the kitchen and took some leftovers out of the freezer for dinner.

"Really?" I asked as I followed. "You've barely acknowledged me for the last month. You don't even look at me any more."

"Don't pin this on me," he grumbled in irritation, and he turned to look at me like he was looking through me again. "You're the one who won't say anything, and you're the one who bailed at the last minute. _You_ left me with no choice but to confront Genesis with a Second Class Soldier who has no idea what the hell is going on, and now I have some innocent _kid_ wrapped up in this insane mess that _your_ friends started!"

After that, he let out a frustrated breath and leaned against the counter while wincing like he was in pain.

"What the hell happened out there?" I suddenly asked, realizing that he wasn't as angry with me as he was frustrated with whatever situation he ran into.

"He attacked, Sephiroth," he said while bitterly looking at me. "I confronted him on the graves I found." Then he shook his head, looked at the floor, and quirked his brow. "It wasn't personal this time. He just attacked like he didn't care whether I lived or died." After that, he turned around and grabbed his kettle to fill it with water. "It's like he viewed me as a traitor. He's not the same man you used to know, and Angeal is on his side."

"What did he do to you?" I asked, suddenly feeling dead inside while staring at the bruising redness creeping up his neck from under his shirt. His chest was the same. It almost looked like he never tried to cure himself with potions or materia, but I was sure I knew him better than that. He must have used something.

"A level three Fire spell, I think," he muttered after he set his kettle on the stove and rested his hands near the front of it. "Close range."

"How close?"

"Maybe about a meter…" he answered as if he were suddenly exhausted. "Maybe closer."

That range should have killed him. He wasn't enhanced like I was. If anything, Tseng was the same class as a regular citizen. Granted, he was smart, strong, and knew what he was doing, but he didn't have any enhancements to give him the edge he would have needed to survive an attack like that.

It left me speechless. Maybe he miscalculated. Maybe he was wrong about the level of magic Genesis used, and I speechlessly took a step toward him while trying to convince myself he was ordinary as thoughts of Hojo experimenting on him entered my mind.

"Don't," he ordered as he held up his hand to stop me from coming closer. "Zack was there," he said. "He saw everything and confirmed it." Then he lowered his head again and muttered, "I'm all right."

After that, he met my eyes and sternly focussed on me. "Sephiroth… I fear you may be a part of this… somehow, and I fear you'll wind up hating me too, simply for being what I am."

"What… would that be…?" I hesitantly asked, and he merely averted his eyes, walked passed me, and went into the main bathroom. He locked the door behind him and ran a bath from the sound of it, and I found myself staring at the door before turning my attention to the kettle he turned on.

_Did he forget he turned it on?_

I wondered, and I stood in the middle of the kitchen while returning my attention to the bathroom door he locked himself behind while barely noticing the kettle whistling behind me as the sound grew more desperate by the second.

* * *

><p>Was I supposed to be relieved by everything that happened? Or was I supposed to be frustrated?<p>

Either way, Tseng and I went to bed with not so much as a word or a glance at each other. When the lights went out, we slept with our backs to each other. Well, he was the one who slept. I had too much on my mind to fall asleep. It was like we were suddenly strangers who knew nothing about the other.

All the while, I was worried about what he would think of me. I was afraid he'd think I was the one who was the monster, but it suddenly struck me something deeper might have been eating away at him.

Did he know? Was he aware of what Hojo did to him? Did he know more than I did? Or was he simply starting to suspect something wasn't right?

I couldn't sleep with that kind of weight on my mind, and I found myself sitting up in the middle of the night just so I could watch him sleep. He looked like he were dead. I must have placed my hand over his heart to feel it beating countless times, and I must have placed my hand close to his mouth and nose just so I could feel his breath as many times.

When he changed for bed, I stole a closer glance at his wounds. He was so deeply bruised that it looked like he was bleeding inside. The skin over his vertebrae was almost black. Yet, he barely showed any sign of discomfort or pain. It wasn't normal for someone who was supposed to be normal.

If he were in pain, he was doing a damned good job of hiding it, and I found myself moving closer just so I could watch him more keenly. I rested my back against the headboard and stared down at him while carefully stroking his warm shoulder to reassure myself.

I tried to convince myself I was overreacting. No matter what, I'd still love him. If he were doomed to suffer the fate I was beginning to fear I might suffer, I'd be there for him. I'd do whatever I could to save him. I had to.

"I love you too much," I whispered to the air, not realizing how pained it sounded. When did I suddenly start fearing for his own fate more than I feared what he might think of mine? "How I've betrayed you…" I outwardly thought, not even thinking of the risks involved if he awoke and heard me.

What was this strange feeling? I was sure I'd felt everything there was to feel since I met him, but the weight I suddenly felt was immeasurable. I had nothing to compare it to.

It was heavy, consuming, and drowning. "Please…" I chokingly whispered to the air, "Please don't take him away from me…"

The thought was overbearing, and I adjusted myself lower while stroking his pale cheek. My colourless hair was caught between us, and it shimmered like silver against the black and white wraith that he reminded me of.

"Tonberry…" I muttered, before looking up as if I were confessing it straight to his hovering soul. "You have no idea how much I love you."

* * *

><p>After that night, I put in a request to go back on the field. Naturally, Lazard asked if I felt it was wise. "I realize you need time, Sephiroth, and I have to be honest," he said while compassionately regarding me. "I'm not sure we can trust you won't disappear too."<p>

"I'm not like them," I admitted. Truthfully, I wasn't like anyone. We may have been friends at one time, but as I looked back, I wasn't so sure. They both appeared to be involved in something I was never aware of, and part of me took heart in thinking it was mostly because their enhancements were overseen by Hollander. Maybe he was the one responsible for what they were doing since he also disappeared.

"True," Lazard thought as he adjusted his glasses and put his head down. "We've considered since Hojo was the lead involved in your enhancements, and Hollander was involved with Angeal and Genesis, there may be a connection where Hollander is concerned."

Well, after a long discussion, he finally decided that it might not be such a bad idea. He explained that with several of our Soldiers missing and the declining number of our First Class Soldiers that, "We really do need someone with your expertise on the field."

However, there was a catch.

With Angeal missing, Lazard thought it would be a good idea to pair Zack with me, and I couldn't say I cared any more. I still felt he had an attitude, but at the same time, I wasn't about to refuse after what happened the last time I did. I also wasn't sure if Lazard would let me go on the field if I refused to go with him, and I figured if I were at least on the field, I could protect Tseng better.

Obviously, Zack was incapable of such a simple task. It didn't matter that Tseng was healing fine and showed no complaint. It never should have happened in the first place, and if I had to be paired with Zack to ensure I didn't disappear like the others, or to make sure it didn't happen again, I was fine with that.

I wasn't too sure how I felt about Lazard's decision to promote him to First Class though. It seemed like a rushed decision to replace the loss of two of our best, but since it wasn't my place to decide, I simply shrugged when Lazard asked me what I thought of it.

"He held his own against Genesis," I indifferently pointed out while pining over the fact that he did nothing when Genesis attacked Tseng.

"Indeed," Lazard agreed. "He was also very impressive in Wutai."

"I guess," I mumbled while half-listening to him. He would have been more impressive if he sacrificed himself for Tseng when Genesis threw a third level fireball at him, but that was beside the point.

Then I sighed and pulled out my phone when Lazard told me to call him to his office.

I couldn't really say what it was about Zack that I didn't like. He just irritated me, and I found myself more irritated when I pulled out my reader while waiting for him and thinking he was taking too long to get to Lazard's office after I called him.

_Zack, the puppy…_ Angeal always called him, and I couldn't think of a more fitting title while imagining the idiot chasing his tail before remembering where he was supposed to go.

Regardless, I was sure Lazard noticed my irritation. I figured he assumed it had something to do with Angeal and Genesis running off into the sunset together. It might have been why he chose to suffer what seemed like an awkward silence to him until I glanced at Zack in irritation when he finally decided to show up. Then I decided to continue reading since nothing he nor Lazard could say was going to interest me.

That was, until Zack appeared disappointed when he was promoted, and I suddenly put my reader down and crossed my arms while staring at the floor in contemplation. He was bitter and angry when Lazard said he wanted his assistance again, but he wasn't angry with Lazard. His attention was on me when he accusingly asked if I was _pushing_ another assignment on him.

_How inconvenient for you…_ I thought while I sighed and mockingly regarded him while insincerely saying, "My apologies."

He was the one who messed up. He was the one who couldn't handle the simple task of protecting a Turk. As far as I was concerned, he had less of a right to judge me than I did him.

It irritated me even more when he waved his hand at me like I was trash and grumbled out while turning his back to me, "Whatever."

After that, Lazard informed him that he would be briefed on his next assignment and that he'd like him to change into a First Class uniform. Then the little 'puppy' tucked his tail between his legs and left to go sulk while changing his clothes.

* * *

><p>When he returned, Lazard informed us that, "The company has decided to eliminate Genesis and his cohorts."<p>

It almost felt like it was a test to see where my loyalty stood. I knew it was coming though. Genesis proved he was a severe threat and Angeal didn't make things look any better by running off with him, but I still didn't like it. Regardless, I refused to show his words fazed me while I kept my arms crossed and stared at the floor. Instead, I stayed quiet and remained leaning against the table in his military office. It was drably decorated compared to his office upstairs. It was all concrete and steel, cold and unfeeling.

Then he stood and added, "This includes Angeal as well."

I suppose I could safely say Zack did the reacting for me when he disbelievingly asked, " And you want me to do it?"

Luckily, Lazard was with a heart. Albeit, he was stern when he answered while looking away, "No, the Shinra army will handle it."

"What about me?" Zack demanded as he stepped forward and hopelessly held his hands out, and Lazard turned his attention to him while keeping his hands clasped behind his back.

"They don't trust you," he honestly said with a hint of regret.

That's when I stepped in and walked behind Zack while he placed his hands on the desk as if he were defeated. Despite my feelings and the fact that Shinra didn't trust me either, I was able to set it aside while coldly telling him as I approached that, "They believe your emotions will hamper your judgement."

_Just like when Genesis attacked Tseng, _I bitterly added without voicing it. I also didn't bother telling him they felt the same way about me until I argued I was nothing like them.

"Well of course!" he angrily admitted, and I stopped with my left side facing him before turning to stare at his pathetically hunched back.

"That's why I'm going too," I added. Since he was incapable of doing anything on his own, he left me with no choice but to volunteer.

All I could say was that I hoped Lazard made the right decision promoting the pathetic heap in front of me as he defiantly straightened up and bitterly regarded me while asking, "To kill them?" Then he glared at me while I eerily smiled at him, almost too subtly to notice, but I'm sure he saw it.

I almost felt like attacking and killing him right there, for no real reason other than the fact that I could easily do it. Lazard would never be able to react fast enough to stop me, and I could easily take him out too. I could slice them both to bits and walk out like nothing ever happened.

I wasn't sure why I'd want to do it, but if felt like something I wanted to do, and I almost went for my sword without thinking before the alarms went off.

For a moment, I was stunned.

I had no idea what the noise was. Was it real? Why was the room flashing red?

"An intruder," Lazard alarmingly said as he went straight to his console to see if he could pull up more information.

_Of course,_ I thought. I should have known that the minute the familiar sound of the red alert went off.

Naturally, Zack dumbly asked, "Where?" while I started to walk out like neither of them existed. For all I knew, they never did exist. Everything was just a dream while Lazard stupidly answered, "Close."

_Of course it's close_, I sarcastically thought. Only a breach would set off the alarms. _Are these two so stupid that they can't figure that out on their own?_

Then Lazard shook me out of whatever daze I was in when he ordered me to get to the President before ordering Zack to go to the entrance.

_Right,_ I thought. I should have known that, but…

_Where did I think I was going before that?_

Regardless, I didn't bother spending too much time with the President. When I came to his assistance, I was promptly told more Genesis clones were spotted in Sector 8 and that I needed to look into it. I didn't like him anyway. I figured a handful of grunts could easily escort him to safety, which I'm sure they did after I gave the order and started on my way to find Zack. I also didn't care if they failed and they all died.

Either way, it wouldn't have mattered. I was almost sure by that point that Tseng and his insane friend Rufus wanted the man dead. They'd never admit to it, but something about their secrecy and possession of blueprints to the man's office told me they might have been up to something. I'd even go so far as to say the two of them were conspiring to kill him themselves, which I didn't think was a very good idea.

It's not something I would ever confront Tseng on. Every one needed a hobby. Nor was it something I really gave much thought to. He'd only lie and I'd be wasting my time if I asked or tried to stop him, but if they were caught, Tseng would surely be sentenced to death. As a result, I always kept it in the back of my mind to make sure that never happened if my suspicions were ever proven correct. I didn't care what happened to Rufus, but Tseng…

Well, I didn't really like the thought of what would happen to him if he ever tried something so stupid. At least this way, if the grunts failed their mission, every one might be happy. They'd surely be investigated, but I doubted any important lives would be lost over such an unfortunate event, other than the President's, I supposed.

Then I walked through the dark and flickering halls of red pulsating lights like I was strolling through the park while I admiringly stared at the harshly lit walls as if I were looking at them for the first time. I took my time as I casually walked down each flight of stairs and across every hall on every floor until I came across a mess of dead Genesis clones lying at Zack's feet.

I think he called my name and pointed out the obvious. I think it was something like the intruders being Genesis copies, which any idiot would have known simply by opening their eyes.

_Hm…_ I emptily thought while I looked down at familiar faces and bodies. I barely noticed the huffing adrenaline junky standing over him like a rabid dog.

_Impressive_, I thought. _Zack, 'the puppy' can actually defend something…_

So…

Why didn't he do it when it mattered?

Then I shook myself out of it and decided it was best to play along. The last thing I needed to do was act and talk suspicious when two of my best friends were suddenly at large, and I pointed out, "Hollander must be behind this."

Naturally, because Zack was an idiot, he had no idea who Hollander was, and he confirmed my suspicions when he asked, "Who is that?"

I kept it short. I told him he was, "A Shinra scientist who vanished after lifting the copy technology."

Of course, I didn't know that until recently. Hollander was a shut in. No one would have noticed the man was missing unless they were told, much like Hojo, and since I was on a need to know basis, no one told me until I needed to know.

Zack was a little more in the dark than I was though, so I figured I'd fill him in as we went along, and maybe he wasn't as stupid as I thought. He did, after all, start to piece together that Hollander and Genesis might be working together, even though it was as a question.

Since I didn't know the answer, I could only assume, "Perhaps." It was possible.

"What are they after…?" he asked as I turned away from him and wondered.

I knew Hollander lost his bid for the leadership of the Science Department. I couldn't help but know due to Hojo's gloating and condescending wonder over why on earth the man thought of bidding in the first place. It was possible he might have been upset over the matter and turned on us.

He may have had a grudge against Shinra since that humiliating moment, especially with Hojo rubbing it in. It would make revenge his most likely objective, I thought.

Though I said it more like it were a fact when I said it to Zack, and he surprisingly responded like someone with a brain in his head. "That's just petty," he said, and I nodded in agreement. "Are you telling me that Genesis is supporting that idiotic cause?"

_Idiotic…_ I thought. _Maybe I could learn to like the little punk._ Then I disbelievingly shook my head at the thought and admitted, "I would prefer not to believe it, but…" I couldn't think of any reason why Genesis would have defected in the first place. He was so determined to rise above me. He wanted to be recognized as the greatest hero Shinra ever had. He wanted to be the best. Could it be he would have left for something so stupid?

"Then don't believe it," Zack demanded with resolve. It took me from my thoughts and I turned to him with the cheesiest reply I could come up with. It didn't sound like something I would have normally said, and I didn't even think it really sounded like me.

"Very well, I won't," I said, wondering when I suddenly started talking like a five year old with hopes and dreams. Then I started walking away with something that may have been embarrassment. "Now, Zack," I said to cover up my suddenly childish feelings. "Genesis copies have been sighted in Sector 8 as well."

Then I turned to him after feeling a little more focussed. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>When we arrived in Sector 8, it was running rampant with panic. Mayhem was everywhere. Shinra's machines had gone berserk and were attacking, and Zack looked so overwhelmed that I remembered why I didn't like him.<p>

The idiot couldn't even save a Turk. Like hell if I needed him to assist me. If anything, he'd just get in the way. That's when a brilliant plan came to mind. Since Lazard felt Zack was capable and reliable enough to be promoted to First Class, there was no reason why we couldn't, or shouldn't, split up.

We could definitely cover more ground that way, and I wouldn't have some lost puppy clumsily trailing at my heels. Nor would I have to answer any more idiotic questions or listen to idiotic babble any more. I could kill things in silence, just the way I liked to do it. There wouldn't be the company of pathetic admiration pointing out how awesome I was at every turn.

Best of all, I could let go. There'd be no need to restrain myself, no need to hold back, and no one to question me about any of it.

Luckily, he was dumb enough to say, "Understood," before he ran off in the opposite direction like a dog chasing a stick.

* * *

><p>Needless to say, the only thing I ran into was Tseng. He stood at the side of one corner of a building while I stood against the side of the other so we couldn't see each other.<p>

"Sorry to meet like this, Seph," he said while I stared down the dark alley we were standing in. The commotion was mostly on the streets and the other Turks weren't very far away. "I'm afraid I may not be home on time tonight… There's some left overs in the fridge."

"Are you sure I'm smart enough to know how to heat it up?" I playfully asked while he snickered and reached his hand around the building to touch my gloved fingers, and I smiled at the fact that he was wearing his fingerless gloves as well. Despite the rockiness of our relationship for the last little while, we were still committed enough to keep each other close in spirit.

Then I sighed and played back with his fingers while admitting, "I may not be home on time either. It's a mess out here."

"Agreed," he said. Then he quickly pulled away when his phone rang, and he muttered, "Don't go anywhere yet," before he answered and had a short conversation with whomever was on the other line.

When he hung up, he heavily sighed and stepped into my sight to regretfully regard me. "That was Lazard," he said.

"I figured as much."

"He asked me to find you…"

"Good thing I'm standing right here."

With a subtle smile, he rested his finger over his mouth and quietly said, "He wants you and Zack to check out the Mako 5 reactor. They just received some Intel on suspicious behaviour."

"This day isn't going to end," I grumbled while eyeing him up like I wanted nothing more than to just be with him and have everything else over and done with.

"I hope you're wrong," he admitted while I thoughtlessly grabbed his hand to hold it. I just wanted to touch him for a moment, and he turned bright red when Reno's voice carried through the hollow passages of the alley and Tseng quickly pulled his hand away.

"Hey, Man! Quit spendin time with yer boyfriend! We have work to do!"

"Leviathan…" Tseng breathed out while covering his face, and I grinned at him. "Of all the people…"

"Just tell him you hurt your hand and I grabbed it to look at it," I offered. "He'll bug you no matter what, but at least it's a believable cover."

"I suppose you're right," he agreed. Surprisingly, he wasn't angry like I thought he would have been. "Regardless, you should get to the reactor and I should return to Reno's humiliating jibes."

"You know you like it," I playfully teased as I started to walk away while he pressed his hand against the wall. Then I turned around to say something else, and before I could react, he smashed his hand with the base of his gun to make his story about why I was holding his hand believable.

"Are you nuts?" I disbelievingly asked and started rushing toward him while he painfully shook his hand and aimed his gun at me.

"Get down!" he demanded, and without thought, I ducked and pulled out my sword while he fired two shots at the towering machine behind me and I easily sliced it in two to finish it off, and when I went to return my attention to him, he was already at the other end of the alley to join his fellow Turks.

For a moment, I just stared after him, wishing I could smack him for being such an idiot, and then I shook my head and started for the reactor.

He'd never change… No matter how much I wanted him to. He'd always be mine without ever admitting it, and I'd always be his while always wanting him to admit it.


End file.
